Redcar Cleveland UK 
 
 
 20th April 2022
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 31st July 2021
  
  
 30th July 2021
  
there is a retired audio engineer living in Redcar 
by which we mean Hi-Fi repair engineer 
whose grandmother's sister would have been we suppose 
his great aunt 
and he is Martin Farrance 
and she was EMB 
we assume that stood for 
Elizabeth Mary Bulmer 
but she was our Ricker's next door neighbour 
before the deluge 
apres nous le deluge 
so she could have been 80 odd in the 1960s 
and born in the 1880s??? 
anyway she used to paint 
and she gave our Ricker a couple of her paintings 
and one was of  
Coatham High Street 
between the diversion of the railway 
and the building of the north side of 
Coatham High Street 
High Street West, Redcar 
so she painted this from memory or a photograph 
and we will try to get a picture of the scene today 
she being a Victorian and bearing in mind 
the Americanisation of our language 
we won't say what the name she went by was 
quite innocuous in her day 
we'll call her Auntie Mary 
our Ricker needs his exercise 
and for slightly complex medical reasons 
this has to come in the form of walking 
and today on his walk he 
contemplated High Street West, Redcar 
also known as 
Coatham High Street 
Coatham High Street may not be unique in this regard but 
it is a street named - either way -as a 
High Street 
that has no shops in it 
used to have a  
Surf Shop 
for a little while 
it is named High Street in the same sense as 
Upper Street, Islington 
lierally high 
not the street where the shops are 
and High Street coatham was built on a ridge 
of higher ground in the surrounding Coatham Marsh 
what struck our Ricker today was 
High Street West has probably the only buildings 
remaining from the time of 
Redcar and Coatham being tiny fishing villages 
a lot of alterations have happened over the years but 
with the eye of imagination you can see that 
some of the little old cattages have 
classic Yorkshire red clay pantile roofs 
made locally from the red clay of the 
red cliffs of Red Cliff Scars 
and then 
along come the railways 
along comes Pease 
and he builds with 
white bricks and grey Welsh slate because 
mainly because he is sending coal to  
North Wales - the coal in Wales is in the south 
sending coal from Durham to North Wales and 
bringing slate back in the wagons that would otherwise 
return empty 
there's a split personality for a town 
it takes fuel to turn clay into tiles 
it takes little fuel to split slate 
and net zero - well a bit but not much extra to return full 
rther than empty trucks 
so 
a traditon dies  
well, within the range of the 
Darington to Saltburn railway line 
if you are ever confused 
High Street East-plaque on the wall of waht was 
The Clarendon Hotel by the Town Clock 
is linked to 
High Street West by 
Queen Street 
although there is a bit of a dog leg 
in the joint 
in the form of 
Lobster Road 
and Coatham Road 
is the Main Road 
that runs parallel and to the south of 
Coatham High Street  	
  
every so often the 
grand panjandram 
that is our Ricker 
explains something and 
absolutely KNOWS 
people are defiant in the face of explanation 
and yet he perseveres 
Grand Prix 
crudely 
big prize 
say it was 
Blue Prix 
a collection or series of such would 
NOT 
be 
Blues Prix 
it would be 
Blue Prix 
like 
I have a black sheep 
I have twenty sheep 
like 
that's how it is is 
Thank you and Goodnight 
 29th July 2021
here's a question for Sheffield 
why s such a proud city region as Sheffield 
hell bent on retaining it's reputation as 
The armpit of Yorkshire? 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
as far as we know 
before there were grey squirrels in Redcar 
there were no squirrels in Redcar 
so these have  
1 found a previously unexploited niche 
2 arrive to compete with 
rats  not red squirrels 
we favour the latter theory 
and  
herons have arrived to compete with? 
nothing 
they have arrived to expolit a now far less 
polluted bit of habitat 
Locke Park 
 
  
  
this part of Station Road is being developed as a centre of 
the night time economy 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
and the whole run from the station 
Redcar Central 
as seen on Manchester station 
destination boards 
to the new pier head 
Don't use sex as a weapon 
Redcar 
Vast and Proud 
1st May to 30th September 
there are restrictions on 
dog walking on Redcar and Coatham beach 
you may encounter wardens 
Don't use sex as a weapon 
virus - fragile not agile 
Redcar  Fast and Loud? 
Vast and Proud 
  
Donate  
Click here for previous blog  
Click here for the 2019 blog  
Photo Essay on Kirkleatham Ward, Redcar  
Photo Essay on the return of 
Zetland Lifeboat  
  
  
 
  
 28th July 2021
setting aside the politician's  
cheap trick 
promising jobs 
jobs that fuel immigration 
politicans don't just want to promise jobs 
they want to promise them in specifc areas 
and so we come to 
cutting off your nose to spite your face 
The British - in the persons of their 
wholesalers and retailers 
have we could say 
for the supply of a random item for sale 
aside from re-cycling, up-cycling and such 
three options 
we simplify 
Heckmondwike 
The Tees valley 
China 
the government want manufacturing to occur in 
Heckmondwike 
they say 
grants available to encourage that 
but tell you what 
if you import from China and commit to 
importing into Tilbury 
we'll pay you to builf a warehouse in 
Hoddesdon 
but if you enquire about setting up 
in the Tees valley 
we'll put you  
on the naughty step 
until the end of time 
here's a thing 
a perspective 
in the UK 
power is a side effect 
people get into positions of power whilst 
seeking popularity 
the government has just bought  
Sheffield Forgemasters 
so that they can build 
military submarines 
in a tiny back street workshop 
thirty miles from the sea 
the government has a whacking parliametary majority 
there is no way they need any Sheffield MPS 
but people in government 
yearn to be popular 
hence we import from China and 
so many people who are officially 
in work 
are mental health patients given 
occupational therapy and pocket money 
whilst working in 
Heath Robinson 
contraptions 
up to a point 
James Dyson  
was the Heath Robinson de nos jour 
but then we trotted off to Malaysia 
came back and left his factory behind 
so some similar nonsense 
what we now expect is 
for submarine shuttling 
a ten lane motorway from 
Kingston upon Hull 
to 
Birkenhead 
via Sheffield 
but due to a sat nav error  
actually built from 
Kingston upon Thames 
to 
Birkdale 
 
 27th July 2021
each Christmas, in the Uk, for many a long year 
The Salvation Army 
have run adverts saying 
give us £19 
and we'll give a Christmas hamper to 
a poor family 
back in the day 
maybe fifty years ago 
the Salvation Army 
digression... 
we are here to save mankind 
do you save women as well? 
yes 
well save us a couple for Saturday night then 
 that's the Sally army Sam 
the Salvation Army used to  collect funds that they said were for 
caring for rough sleepers and alcoholics 
and after a lot of pressure from the public 
the Charities Commission acted 
they made a lot of trouble for the Sally Army because 
they were, are, a charity and they said they would use donations to 
help alcoholics  
but the Charities Commission found - ruled 
that The Salvation Army were 
diverting charitable donatons to use to 
promote Christianity 
who doesn't like a free meal? 
but 
if there is a price 
and that price is to have your ear bent about???? 
whaever the donor wants you to hear about 
like a free credit check  
to induce you to take out very expensive credit... 
is it the deal you thought it was 
at base 
people who make beds 
reckon, depending upon quality 
you need  a new bed, or at least matress 
between every 8 and 12 years 
so why does the rubbish on sink estates 
include nearly new furniture? 
because those haomes are 
war zones 
people from Eston come to Redcar and say 
why can't we have a park like 
Locke Park?  
you could if you 
didn't kill all the birds you see 
and uproot all the trees we plant 
the first Friday night after we plant them 
Locke Park was created as a 
make work scheme 
to occupy the unemployed 
but it was put somewhere too far away from where they lived 
for them to be arsed to come and trash it 
so it matured 
as nothing does, on a sink estate 
the hallmark of the middle class is 
delayed gratification 
the hallmark of the under class is 
instant gratification 
it is very difficult to imagine easier ways to  
make money than 
1 turning tricks 
2 selling drugs to adicts 
it is difficult for the educated person to know how 
you solve an obsesity crisis by 
giving away free food 
how you can offer people a job that is easier than 
sex work and drug dealing 
and pays more 
the trouble with sex work and drug dealing is 
not that it is difficult to do 
but it is  
1 very competitive 
2 unregulated 
and so if the participants are 
like in the Wild West 
literally 
Outlaws 
people who are neither subject to the law 
nor 
protected by the law 
violence will predominate 
we have said that most women 
in the UK one per week 
who are killed 
are killed by someone who's work is 
dominated by physical domination 
armed forces, police, security guards 
these roles take people out of the  
money treadmill 
they have some money and a role in which 
in a sort of Emperor's New Clothes   
or more accurately 
Caesar's wife is beyond reproach 
situation 
the belief of the power elite is that 
if you allow criticism of law enforcement 
the streets will run with blood 
the latest concept 
call law enforcement to account and 
The Permanent Purge 
will be the result 
the idea is like 
 if you pick at that little bit of 
loose plaster 
the whole wall will fall down 
ther s this Irish story 
probably George Bernard Shaw 
will you sleep with me for a million pounds? 
well i don't know 
will you sleep with me for ten bob? 
what kind of woman do you take me for? 
Oh we've estblished that 
we're just haggling about the price, now 
men are supposed to get their sex via the long term contract 
marriage 
women are supposed to get their drugs from a doctor 
on prescription 
the question is 
to what extent 
given the total impotence of law enforcement  
in respect of sink estates 
to what extent do 
the chattering classes and 
The Tory Party at Prayer 
keep certain varieties of 
sex work and drug supply 
illegal 
in order to have a permanent 
Outlaw Class 
whom they can feel superior to 
it's dog whistle politics 
legalise ALL forms of sex work 
not just marriage 
allow medicS to prescribe ANY drugs 
they feel their patients need 
not just the ones  
BigPharma 
is promoting at the given moment 
and all hell breaks out 
because everyody would die from 
drug overdoses and sexually transmitted infections 
or  
because there would no longer be 
an outlaw class? 
like the Prime Minister who thinks 
chaos is good 
power likes to hide amidst the 
fog of war 
in a deliberate confusion about  
when sex and drugs are  
legal and illegal 
rivals can be picked off 
no sex - no children 
no drugs - endless pain and disability 
these things are not 
intrinsically bad 
they are just things where politicians 
do that 
I'll create 20,000 jobs 
I'll create 50,000 jobs  
never knew anybody with a job 
but they are supposed to be  
Good 
so I'll promise lots and lots of them 
 
 25th July 2021
it was Redcar triathlon day today 
and the winner of the 
buggy push is... 
  
 
  
there's a Nordic legend 
if we've heard of it it must be well known 
it sums up our Ricker's reaction to CoViD 
and especially the 
American Born Again Christian response 
a couple go out hunting 
and they leave their oldest tiredest dog 
in the cabin to guard the baby 
and they come home and the dog  
welcomes them in high excitement 
the father notices  
that the dog and the baby are well but covered in blood 
he kills the dog for attacking the baby 
and then the mother tidies up and 
discover a dead wolf 
under the bed 
25th July 2021
23rd July 2021
  
we have commented on 
pease white bricks being a feature of Coatham 
and some people will remember black bricks as a  
style icon of the 1970s 
well 
the cinema on the sand is getting a  
foundation layer of blackish bricks 
and it will be wall panels all the way up from  
the level just visible in this pic 
there's a difference between 
employment in  
the public service 
and  
commercial employment 
a lot of people buy  
bottled water 
a lot of the water coming out of taps in homes 
is far from pure 
some has a lot of calcium in it 
in Redcar the water has a lot of iron in it 
the water supplied from domestic taps is 
OK most of the time 
bottled water is as pure as any other foodstuff 
working in the public service the priority is 
this man must have a job 
there is never any serious consideration of 
this job must be done properly 
recently an inquest jury decided that a tram driver had 
done nothing wrong when he drove a tram around 
a 90 degree bend at 45 miles an hour 
the tram fell over 
and seven people died 
the speed limit on that bend was 12 miles per hour but 
he was a man who needed a job 
and the drivers have a union 
if that same man had driven at 35 miles per hour 
in a thirty limit 
in his private car 
and a child or pensioner had 
stepped out in front of him 
and been killed 
that same driver would have been charged with 
causing death by careless driving 
because he wasn't  
at work, at the time of the incident 
we said that a lot of money was spent on 
Kielder Water 
and the associated tunnel in the 1970s 
the England and Wales water industry was  
sold to the private sector in around 1989 
at that time a driver 
drove to an isolated water treatment works 
in Campbelford or some such 
in the rural south west and 
dumped a tanker full of an aluminium based  
water treatment chemical into the worng tank 
a couple of people died 
no biggie 
he was  
at work 
accidents will happen 
especially when 
getting utter fuck wits into paid employment 
is the government priority 
the idea of privatisation is 
sacking somebody for incompetence in a 
public service job 
could lead to an MP or councilor 
loosing their seat at the next election 
but any fine imposed on a commercial company would be 
paid by their insurance company 
and the insurance company would not be able to sell the polcy 
to a govenment department that had 
Crown Immunity - from prosecution 
so everybody gains from privatisation 
except the people who get killed 
and their families 
sometimes a little help leads to a little betrayal 
our Ricker has attended public meetings and defended 
Northumbrian Water  
but the are the quintessance of betrayal 
at one tie they were French owned so perhaps we should not be surprised 
most domestic water customers do not have 
water meters 
their bills are calcualted on the bass of 
the value of their property 
a bit like council tax 
so the less water the company has to supply 
the more profit they make 
there is no facility to supply 
raw water 
to domestic customers 
sooo 
there is a maximum amount of water 
 the water companies are willing to process 
and if they approach that limit  
they say there is a water shortage 
just the same as they are only willing to process 
a maximum amount of sewage 
any amount that threatens their profit margin 
is dumped direct into river or sea 
 
hoist by your own patard 
blown up by your own hand grenade 
pulling the pin too long before you are ready to throw 
vaccine manufacturers 
from the government point of view 
this is very British this 
when the government wanted to switch from 
coal to diesel for trains 
firstly, they did not simply put 
instead of surveying the market to 
select the best design and buy it 
instead they made an announcement 
put out to tender 
to anybody 
build us a prototype 
and then they ordered a load of copies of each prototype 
and the govenment call this 
not putting all your eggs in one basket 
with this lack of clarity 
each vaccine manufacturer is 'free' to 
point out  
disadvantages of rival products 
and instead of driving people to their  product 
they undermine confidence in - in this case 
the whole idea of vaccinations 
in this case  
nobody is saying 
that vaccine does not work 
they all work - very well 
as each manufacturer promotes some 
vanishingly rare side effect or complication 
of use 
if no manufacturer resists the temptation to 
dis the opposition 
if there can be no vaccine that can claim to be 100 per cent safe 
some people will give vaccination a miss 
if there was only one vaccine 
nobody would have a rival product to promote 
and nobody would think theycould gain an advantage from  
pubicising any tiny defect in the 
one vaccine that was 'our only hope' 
 
 22nd July 2021 
Jurisprudence 
or legal theory 
is the theoretical study of law 
when they government say 
data not dates 
this an analogue of 
jurisprudence versus democracy 
democracy can be< BR>
when it is  
popularism 
in Christian terms 
give us Barabas 
I'm gonna pardon one of your lads 
you choose 
jesus or Barabas 
and the mob say give us Barabas 
and so, at times we need to distinguish 
popularism from democracy 
the main steam media know  
what buttons to press 
how to galzanise virtue signalling 
galvanise comes from Galvani using  
electricity to make dead dismembered 
frog legs twitch 
in the British parliament laws are voted on and they 
are essentially of two types 
government business 
and 
Private Members Bills 
in England it has become 
quite the thing 
if a daughter meets a premature and sticky end 
to seek to have her memorialised by having 
a law named after her 
non of this was what we set out to explore today 
what we wanted to discuss was 
'it is a truth niversally acknowledged that a single man 
in possession of a good fortune 
must be in want of a wife' 
Jane Austin 1775-1813 
Pride and Predudice 
our Ricker's dentist - at last count 
had two wives 
we loose count of how many the present  
British Prime Minister has 
in the world of jurisprudence 
a married man in possession of 
a furtune sufficient to support 
two wives 
is in need of a divorce 
and in a more complex case 
Michael Gove/ 
a man in possession of a wife who 
is financially independent 
is in need of a divorce 
in terms of the application of jurisprudence to 
family law 
a woman is a spending machine 
 a driver of the economy 
and she must have the cash to spend to 
make the wheels of industry turn 
and so she must be 
married off 
at the earliest opportunity 
and if she has an employer willing to 
keep her expense account topped up 
she should free up her husband 
for somebody else to 
parasitise 
in Islam we have a different paragigm emerging 
in Islam today 
a woman's place is in the home 
and a man's place is in the temple - praying 
and money comes from the people who 
buy the oil 
and so 
by dint of the transmission of Moslem traditions into  
British Left Wing politics 
even in a country where the government has 
no oil to sell 
money comes  - not from men - but from governments 
and so 
in 'deprived areas' 
the ideal that is being sought is 
pay a woman the equivalent of the city pay of a 
successful architect or financier 
for providing care for her own children 
in her own home 
we cannot see any other way to 
end 'child poverty' 
as measured by current standards 
 21st July 2021 
if a body lives in Redcar 
oft is the time they hear a boast from 
a distant land 
and sit back and smile 
have a go at imagining what 
44 billion gallons of water looks like 
that's a fifth of a cubic kilometer 
thats 100 sports stadia 
flooded to a depth of 
600 feet 
and then search 
Kielder Water 
to see what it really looks like 
and the looser is 
Rutland Water 
a gigantic muddly puddle 
no depth to it 
Keilder water isn't 600 feet deep 
it's 170 feet - 52 metres  - deep 
one of those things you say about England 
perhaps the UK 
you are never more than 50 miles from the sea 
Kielder Water is 24.4 mles from the sea 
Kielder water is in Northumberland 
but it was constructed in Northumberland in the 1970s 
and it was constructed in a rather special way 
it is in a very important extent 
on two rivers 
if it overflows 
it overflows into the 
River North Tyne 
and as it does so 
it drives a hydro-electic scheme 
the scheme was opened by QE2 in 1981 
26th May 1982 actually 
guess what?  
it's the largest hydroelectic plant in England 
RWE Npower renewalbles 
have the rights to sell the electricity until 2025 
NPower? eon
and 
it's operated by remote control from 
Dolgarrog 
in Welsh Wales 
Conwy or as in olden times Conway 
but who needs to actually be there  
it only produces 20,000 megawatt hours of power a year 
a by-product 
and the water that does that 
ends up in the North Tyne 
but then there is the 
Kielder Transfer Scheme 
there's this pipe 
from Riding Mill on the Tyne 
2 metres six or seven feet in diameter 
steel lined with concrete 
6.2 kilometers to Letch House 
driven by six pumps 
from there there is a tunnel 
Airy Holm 
31 kilometre of gravity feed to 
2.91 metres diameter 
like 10 feet 
to Frosterly 
and  
discharges into The River Tees 
at Eggleston 
and 
it has never been used 
it is periodically flushed out 
but the River Tees has never needed that support 
The Wear 
between Tyne and Tees 
has had some support from the scheme 
so if you ever have an idea for using 
utterly unimaginable amouts of 
Fresh Water 
we got that 
  we got the 
infrastructure 
but we can't get the jarbs 
'cos the votes are elsewhere 
that was the grand plan in the 1960s and 1970s 
if it's big 
put it on the Tees 
then the Pork barelling started 
and now  
Cleveland Bridge - and Enginering 
at Darlington  Darlington is in the Tees valley but 
it's on the river Skerne 
back in the day 
a lot of the pollution in the lower reaches of 
the river Tees 
was added - contributed - by industry on 
the River Skerne in Darlington 
19th July 2021 
our Ricker is old 
the sort of 
everybody that old is dead, old 
according to TV shows 
it is quite strartling how often 
people in their 50s think they will 
live for ever but wonder why 
people in their 60s are still alive 
despite being born in the age of steam at the time 
Ricker was young and he knew that if you wanted to  
hear first hand from people involved in 
historical events 
you had better not cross question them 
because they may loose the thread of 
what they were saying
 raise the issue ever again 
and so there was this story that Tommy would tell about 
Ernest Shackleton 
all that came through was 
I met Shackleton at Grey Towers 
where Sir Arthur Dorman lived, Pooe Hospital, Nunthorpe 
and I gave him some money towards his expedition 
but I got it refunded 
Ricker ha always assumed that the refund had come from 
Hodsmans - Tommy's employer 
claimed as public relations expenses 
but, however, 
if this was after Tommy returned from the  
Great War 
it woud have been 1919 - 1921 
so this funding could well have been for 
 an expedition that never happened 
at that time 
antarctic explorer Shackleton was 
fundraising for  
an Arctic expedition 
and it fell through because a  
new Canadian Government 
withdrew thrie support
Shackleton decided to return to the Antarctic 
where he died and was buried 
we have a little side bar on expenses 
in the 1960 
the two top people at ICI 
Imperial Chemical Industries 
were on 
two thousand pounds a year pay 
and  
20,000 a year in expenses 
because
pay was taxed 
and expenses weren't 
still, income tax is 'paid by the employee' 
and tax on expenses is apid by the employer 
employees are not taxed on the cost of an upgrade to 
'business class' travel or accommodation 
so the question is 
did Tommy's refund come 
from the Canadian Government? 
it's just an example of the contrast between 
history as it was 
and history as it was written 
  
speaking of history being 
Wot Churchll wrote... 
and the  
Cheese eating Surrender monkeys of Paris 
 
Vive le Quebic Libre 
Trudeau father and son French dynasty rulling Canada 
see how Canada has a simple choice 
France of the UK 
America - too many options 
stick with nures for fear of something worse 
The Great War 1914 - 1918 
The British Empire versus Germany 
so 
there were two main reasons why there was a  
change of government in Canada 
a change that destroyed Shackleton's plans 
one was the people who grow grain in central Canada 
objected to a tax on their product 
the second one was 
the chees eatng surrender monkeys of Quebec 
objected to  
French Canadian young men being 
conscripted inot the armed forces to 
fight Germany and liberate France 
 17th July 2021 
a picture tells a thousand words 
so here are two 
one shows the south or Esplanade face of the 
Cinema on the Sands 
or 
Pier Head 
the other is of the south wall of the 
auditorium 
the movie showing space 
within the building 
there will be two even smaller screens 
elsewhere in the building 
 
  
  
 
 13th July 2021 
  
  
  
if you live in the North West of England 
you probably never think about  
where your TranasPennine express trains 
take a nap between trips 
one pic shows the train pulling off the siding at 
Redcar Goods Yard (Morrisons store) 
and the others show how much of the siding is empty 
when the train is up the end of the siding 
Morrisons probably - very likely 
own the store and so 
the 2 storey car park could make  
a warehouse - no probs 
11th July 2021 
we do have a few ideas about the football 
in absolutist terms 
the fact that the BBC have chosen to promote sales of 
Three Lions 
as opposed to Vindalu 
could mean that they regards this as a 
warm up tornament for the next  
World Cup 
Jules Rimet 
had nothing to do with the Euroes? 
if England had been playing 
France 
where Rimet was the FFF president for 20 odd year.. 
anyway 
the concept of Football coming home relates to 
football not the trophy 
to the idea that England invented football 
in 1863 Association Football 
and 
Rugby Football 
split into to different orgnizations 
the first ever soccer match was played between 
Barnes Football Club 
and 
Richmond Football Club 
at Mortlake 
on 19 December 1863 
rugby a game for thugs played by gentlemen 
soccer a game for gentlemen played by thugs 
it's all about the rules 
almost nobody plays rugby 
without a referee 
almost nobody thinks about 
who will be referee when they decide on 
a kick about 
the core difference is 
soccer is football - no hands unless you ae in goal 
rugby is a carrying game 
but kicking is more for set pieces and 
as in soccer , for penalties of various sorts 
in soccer the ball must go into the net for a score 
in rugby, the ball must be 
touched down 
hand on ball as it hits the ground over the line 
no heading - not banned - in rugby 
there is a possibility that soccer will evolve into a 
no heading game 
or there may be another split 
the idea that only the boots can contact the ball 
has some traction - especially on medical grounds 
and 
with the devlopment of slow or walking football 
for elders 
in some formats the ball will always be moving  
too slowly for heading to be very effective 
we have noted the British courts trying to 
cash in on the Euroes 
by bringing in determinations in the  
Vardy- Roony case 
Rebekah Vardy Coleen Rooney 
Wagatha Christie libel case 
possibly, just possibly  
this time the football has been interesting enough 
for the media not to have felt the need to 
spawn another generation of 
WaGs 
wives and girlfriends 
perhaps there is some recognition that 
girls can PLAY football  
and not just go fishing for a 
male footballer to parade in the lible courts 
and finally 
at last we have reached a match where 
there seems to be no mention of 
lets let Ukraine win, to piss of Russia 
tell the snowflake England team it would be 
 cruel to beat a team that had suffered an injury 
nothing about plucky Italy 
they need a break 
very heartwarming that 
 8th July 2021 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Cinema in the Sands 
isn't a cinema 
it's a  
Pier Head 
with three confernce rooms  
that can be used to show movies 
and that is no bad thing 
 7th July 2021 
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Cinema on the Sands  
now has its lift shaft 
so you would enter the lift in the foyer 
and exit on the roof terrace 
but not on the roof 
not even the lower roof 
that is  
the roof terrace will have a roof 
what access to that top roof there will be 
we don't know but it will be  
via the stairs ate the east end 
the foyer and lift being at the 
west - River Tees - end 
we were going to make a simple comment about 
deprivation 
but we researched it and it got more complicated 
and that means we don't know quite how to put this 
the chief medical officer for England 
or some such 
has just said that 
CoViD has revealed that the distribution maps for 
morbidity - ill health 
are today almost identical to those of 
many many years ago 
that is fact 
one factor that has been removed from this equation is 
air pollution 
not exactly removed but blurred 
pollution related ill health is now largely linked to 
road traffic 
and places not deprivation hot spots are becoming 
 morbidity hot spots 
we will divert here to the fall of the concept 
dillution is the sollution to pollution 
it died on nine eleven 
in fact its death was possibly the most dramatic  
result of the attack 
in some sort of convoluted way 
oil producers attacked their customers 
and in effect wounded their product 
often when some great truth dawns on the powerful 
they are quite careful to keep it quiet 
what happend 
wo happen wo happed Muskie 
the vision impaired side kick used to say 
what happened was that  
because the attackers used airlines as 
kamikazi 
weapons 
all commercial flights were suspended 
in the USA at least 
so? 
so, despite being up in the sky 
up in all those cubic miles of free air 
when the 'planes stopped flying 
carbon related pollution quantities 
at ground level plumeted 
a similar but less dramatic fall has occured  
during CoViD 
nevertheless 
people in deprived areas 
don't - in the UK - have a lot of motor vehicles 
so we revert to our first theme 
we set out to discuss 
Robert Nesta Marley OM 
OM stands for Order of Merit 
6 February 1945 11 May 1981 
considered one of the poneers of reggae 
he fused reggae with ska and rocksteady 
in his London and Rastafari period 
he and The Wailers released 
The best of the Wailers 
and we will say that he re-located from Jamaica 
to London 
as a result of a failed assasination attempt 
he sold 75 million records worlwide 
his most miss understood song title and lyric was 
no woman no cry 
it did not mean 
steer clear of women and you'll be cool 
it was a contraction of 
no woman, don't cry 
Get up stand up - stand up for your rights 
Jammin' I'm jammin' 
Satisfy my sould 
all world hits 
however 
One Love  
was his greatest hit 
God's - Eric Clapton's - only number 1 single 
I shot the sheriff 
but I did not shoot the deputy 
was a Bob Marley cover 
having established that Bob marley was a 
rich successful man 
you will have noted 
he died young 
very young 
and his famous last words 
possibly not his actual last words but 
his last words to one of his many children 
Ziggy 
where have we heard that name before? 
Ziggy Stardust 
this was Ziggy Marley and  
Bob said to Ziggy 
Money can't buy life 
and at one level we see this as a tallisman for 
give 'em maw monay 
not being the complete answer to deprivation related 
high morbidity rates 
however, if we peer a lttle deeper 
Bob Marley died from something that 
wasn't in most medical textbooks of the day 
he died fro a late stage melanoma - skin cancer 
BUT 
this was 
well to recant a little 
when he died 
being so young his remains were examined 
in his dreadlocks were found 
19 different species of lice 
but to the thread 
he died from a melanoma 
but it as 
acral lentiginous melanoma 
and what is different about that? 
well 
it is a condition where skin that is normally 
pale - even in the most pigmented of black people 
that is  
the plams of the hands 
the sole of the feet 
and the beds of the finger and toe nails 
and so 
in a way 
pink skin turning brown but in doing so 
matching the surrounding skin 
and not triggering alarm 
and that brings us to the issue of 
morbidity maps 
we could say 
that families and communities where 
ill health is rife 
will be slow to recognise early signs 
and not trouble the doctor 
many probably die from ignoring 
a smoker's cough 
the cough is seen not as a warnng about cancer 
but as a badge of honour 
the signifier of a tough chap who can 
smoke without throwing up 
so two things here 
people in deprived areas may have diseases that 
have not been fully researched 
people in deprived areas can be very 
independent 
chippy 
unwilling to be talked down to by toffs 
 5th July 2021 
  
dates confound us some times 
we think that some time after the invention of the 
bikini swim suit 
there was a backlash 
and signs went up on french beaches reading 
slip obliger 
it mean that if you wore a bikini you 
had to wear a top over it 
so in future there may be 
masque obliger 
signs 
French local authorities are much more likely to 
make weird by laws than those in the UK 
what is interesing is 
almost nobody objects to a female 
getting her legs out 
including her bum 
but tits have been a problem in the past 
so how will  
masque obliger 
sit with 
pas de burkini? 
our Ricker does not give a damn  
about what other males think but 
for him 
tights and a crop top 
take the prize 
it's not a fetish but 
he'd rather see your 
belly button than your nipples 
anything above the belly button is 
a climbing frame for toddlers 
  
a couple of things about 
going topless 
during pregnancy 
in a lot of cases but not all 
the nipples and the entrance to the  
birth canal  
darken 
become more deeply pigmented 
clearly that has nothing to do with 
sporting a bare mid-rif and tummy button 
bare mid-rifs reveal stretch marks 
the opposite tiger stripes of unpigmented skin 
as the skin of the tummy stretches in the  
latter part of pregnancy 
new skin has to be made so quickly that 
stripes of it the new bits don't get the  
amount of melanocytes the slow growing bits got 
in the UK 
lots and lots of people had babies taken away from them 
because they were unmarried 
famously the new wife of MoMawlam's widower - an MP 
she campaigned against toplessness 
before we knew she had been an unmarried mother 
Jon Norton 
Clare Short 
we accept that Ms Short's baby was given up  
for adoption despite her being married to 
the father for a short time after the birth 
her paternal cousin  
Martin Hayter Short 
was in a lot of famous movies 
Father of the Bride, Mars Attacks 
The Santa Clause 3 
Three Amigoes 
and there's the thing 
married at least three times and 
thinking diplaying her post partum nipples would 
spoil her chances 
how do you get pregnant to a fellow student at Keele 
at the age of 17? 
get raised by an Irish Catholic family... 
and so 
topless sunbathing is 
the mass market version of 
Harley Street virginity tests... 
like, the lateral flow version 
 might not show you're a virgin 
but some indication you ain't got 
 a kid tucked away somewhere 
  
sometimes we take the time to  
state the bleedin' obvious 
lots of people have heard of 
The last night at the Proms 
it's around 11th September 
but do you know what the Proms are and  
why they were started? 
Henry Wood started light musical entertainment 
at cheap prices in the summer time 
July to September 
because 
all the toffs who went to the opera 
and the other musical shows were 
on holiday in Europe 
now shows stay open in the summer because 
the tickets are bought by 
foreign tourists 
except not this year so 
opening theatres in the summer with no 
foreign visitors  
not good 
so let's get some compo from the government 
for having to shut 
when we have sold no tickets... 
The Inter city 125 express train was introduced 
onto UK rails in 
1976 
construction having begun the year before 
a power car at each end with no passenger seats 
a 'rake' of coaches or mark 3 carriages in between 
there were either 7 or 8 coaches for passengers 
we do not remember how they were divided into 
first and second class but they were open carriages 
all seats together no partitions except at 
the end of carriages and between 1st and 2nd class 
we are gettng to a point about 
laws and advice 
in French there are two signs painted about the place 
one says 
pas de fume 
and the other says 
defence de fume 
of all the coaches on an Intercity 125 
all but the one at the northen end 
sorry the down end - farthest from London 
all the open carriages had 
a smoking end and an non-smoking end 
the down end carriage was all no smoking 
in a sense 
all but the last coach were pas de fume 
no smoking 
at one rather ill defined end 
one carriage was 
defence de fume 
smoking prohibited 
and so the idea of  
nudging the people towards a target 
in theory 
over time 
in response to public demand 
more and more of the train would become 
no smoking 
transition fro 
smoke here don't smoke there  
to 
don't you dare smoke 
anywhere on our land 
so all this CoViD stuff was 
shall we say 
more of an emergency than suddenly discovering 
smoking kills 
CoViD kills 
and we start in the spirit of old Draco 
Draco from whom we get Draconian 
was 7th century Greek 
first person to be elected to 
write down laws 
before that you went to court and they decided 
what was illegal about what you had done 
in speeches - nothing written down or 
simply according to the conventions of 
blood feuds 
UK society had a reversion to  
preDraconian dispute resolution with 
duels and duelling pistols and swords 
despite the risk of death 
the aim - especially with rpaiers or swords 
was to injure not kill 
to disfigure 
hence 
deuelling scars 
worn with pride 
a little like tatoos 
you start to try to impose  
the rule of law 
with Draco in the 7th century 
and people are still duelling 
in the early 20th century 
and here's the point 
'all this' knife crime 
people - young men from minorities 
die because nobody has shown them 
how to 
gain satisfaction in a dispute 
any other way 
how can you adjudicate in a court of law 
in a dispute over an illegal act  such as 
a drug deal? 
if less things were 
outright illegal 
the legal system would be in a better position to 
keep the peace 
the homicide detective says 
i don't want to hear about his pilfering 
I want to know what you know about this killing 
the individual cop can say that 
but the justice system cannot 
in a sense 
the conversion of endless grivences from 
civil matters to criminal matters 
boils down to a 
justice system equivalent of the founding of 
the NHS  
the NHS means you don't have to hire a doctor 
the criminalisation of trivia 
means you can call the police 
instead of hiring a lawyer 
 4th July 2021 
Happy Birthday America 
Michael Gove 
He's not the Messiah 
he's a very naughty boy 
actually he is a 
petulant, I walked through a corn field 
self important little boy 
 
and the England Croatia performance 
perfect except that 
the defence track back too much 
BUT 
they have to balance 
doing that against referees who will 
ignore simulation 
there should be recall if the tackled  
player plays on 
can't undo the free kicks but you can recind yellow cards 
another little boy in the public eye is 
Cav 
The Manx Missile 
his achievements in the 
le Tour de France 
may rival those of the England soccer team 
setting that aside 
these 'ill educated' medics 
feet of clay 
a surgeon visits a school to give a careers talk 
and say 
as The Bard said..... 
and proceeds to quote the Bible 
and The Bard is Shakespeare 
feet began to turn to clay 
and so this was Powys on Marr 
Marr is saying mandatory 
and Powys is saying mandated 
Marr correct 
it is quite interesting though 
mandate - order a precept a prescript of the Pope 
but here's the thing 
a commission to act as representative of a people 
and so, classically,  
the Vice-roy of India 
would have a mandate to rule India 
on behalf of 
The British People 
in the person of the monarch 
The Empress of India - Victoria 
thast's the mandate 
like a copper's warrant card 
YOU are mandated to do THIS 
like a driving licence 
something that is 
mandatory or mandatary 
is something you have to do 
because you have been told to 
by the person with the mandate 
I am mandated to arrest you for drunk driving 
it is mandatory that you do not drive if over the limit 
just sayin' 
 1st July 2021 
  
  
  
The project to build a 
Cinema in the Sands 
on Coatham Beach, Redcar 
has split into two phases now 
the east end now has a roof 
not a completed roof but the sheet steel 
the west half will have the big screen 
at its west end 
will have a lift 
the lift will only take people from the  
Esplanade level to The Gods of the theatre 
but that is all that the patrons would need 
they will have to use stairs to get to the 
roof terraces 
it will be hence, three movie theatres and 
a roof terrace which may well be a restaurant 
two roof terraces with sea views 
overall 
the Redcar equivalent of 
a Welsh sheep tied to a lamp post 
and 
The Inn Collection 
seem to be progressing with their  
RKade replacement  
Majuba Road hotel 
it's in planning 
whether the company has bought the 
 land or the lease on the land 
before getting planning permission we don't know 
there's still a  
Lease for Sale  
board on the site 
 30th June 2021 
if you're really really old 
and yet somehow still alive 
and you grew up anywhere in the world 
but especially in the US or UK 
you may be able to dredge out memories of  
Meadowlark Lemon 
 
Michael Jordan 
Jordan Air 
described Meadowlark 
birth name Meadow Lemon 
as 
a true national treasure 
and a personal inspiration in Jordan's youth 
from 1986 a born again Christian minister 
but 
we will dispense with dates 
in the Roaring twenties 
people 'going to the dance' fell away and
ahotel ballrom hired a bunch of  
basket ball players to give  
exhibitions 
right now there is conflict over 
collee sports players being amateur - unpaid 
and their coaches being on fabulous money 
anyhow 
slowly over time 
the NBA emerged 
National Basketball Associaton 
for a long time it did not have any black players 
they were eventually to dominate but 
the entertainment troup in that hotel 
in the mean time 
developed into 
The Harlem Globetrotters 
and they were essentially two teams 
it was a long time before they admitted a Hispanic player 
they toured the world 
The Harlem Globetrotters 
took with them an opposition team 
and they played exhibition matches 
and Meadowlark Lemon 
was their star 
their clown 
Meadowlark died around 2015 
in 2021 the trotters applied to be 
affiliated to the NBA 
this is all very well but what do we want to say? 
regarding the 
European Superleague 
in many ways the backeres of that defunct - stillborn - 
concept 
were trying to develop 
major European Soccer clubs into 
a league of Harlem Globetrotters equivalents 
playing a tour of exhibition matches 
and that speaks to the recent 
UEFA 
England Germany match 
it was 
a competitive match 
not an exhibition match 
so a lot of it was 
rather boring 
not quite as boring as the 
England Scotland match, but boring 
compared to a harlem Glabetrotters match 
  
the addled brain of the Ricker was trying to remember another topic 
yes 
so 
around ten years ago 
maybe for a decade 
many housing estates were plagued by 
burglar alarms that seem to be for ever sounding 
those days are past for the most part 
with a few car alarms breaking the peace 
people hese days have 
CCTV and video door bells 
the idea here is 
for a long time 
home security had quite an edge 
street or terrace houses 
had no vacant land in front 
and a yard behind 
that yard would have a brick wall 
six feet high - 2 metres 
maybe two and a half or three 
in those days security consisted of 
embedding shards of glass in cement 
along the tops of those walls 
plastic retatin versions still feature 
at some commercial premises 
the property owner is now liable for any injury 
caused to a burglar, so they have become somewhat  
blunt toothed 
the point here is 
the essence of the concept of 
rape 
is to deal with 
unplanned pregnancy 
as we have said before 
people 'trying for a baby'  
have to make other arrangements 
but all the range of contraceptive measures are 
the CCTV of birth control 
and the concept of  
rape 
is akin to reverting 
postapopalytic style 
to shards of glass in the wall tops 
trying to extend the concept of rape into 
downright crash for cash 
 28th June 2021 
below... we have the unresearch  
glaucoma schtick 
so we have an update 
there is a drug 
lantanoprost 
sold as Xalatan 
it is a glaucoma med that 
does not suppress aqueous production 
it lets the aqueous out through a 
back door 
loosens or spread the fibres of the 
ciliary muscle to let the aqueous filter out 
people are beginning to research glaucoma 
a theory is developing that is that 
as the lens stiffens - cataract 
the ciliary muscles cannot flex 
and a secondary function  
secondary to changing the shape of the lens 
a secondary function of the ciliary muscle is to 
pump aqueous out of the eye into the  
Schlemm's canal 
the difficulty here is that a lot of the drainage is 
through cells 
what often collects in the meshwork is 
bits of pigment from the iris 
there are not many human albinos 
somebody could get a PhD out of finding out whether 
albinoes get less glaucoma 
what the aqueous does is 
bathe the 
structures of the eye that have no blood vessels 
in a sort of lymph that feeds them and takes their rubbish away 
how many T cells of the immune system are in the meshwork 
to remove infective material 
our Ricker for one, does not know 
because the 'immune system' T lymphocytes macrophages 
are general grbage gobblers 
not just infection fighters 
bottom line, as it stands 
if you get cataracts 
you are likely to get glaucoma in train 
because of 
ciliary muscle inactivity 
so 
the base  simple advice is sound 
as long as you can 
exercise those muscles 
don't rely on fancy lenses all the time 
don't restrict your looking to a single distance 
such as to a digital device 
 
the drug is US and Australia licenced 
 
  
larus hyperboreus
  
is a large gull called 
the glaucus gull 
it is the second largest gull in the world  
and breeds in the arctic 
well 
it breeds anywhere  
North of Mexico 
excluding Southern Calfornia 
but not south America, sub Saharan Africa 
South Asia Australia 
she's a Northern girl 
but not necessarily  
a 'fridge dweller 
they are called glaucus because 
they are greyer 
than other gulls 
GREYER - more grey 
some people may think of glaucus as more a sort of 
greeny grey 
and so my darlings 
why today? 
this week is 
amongst a host of other things 
glaucoma awareness week 
and we are going to try to convince people that 
sometimes 
we get over run by a  
solution in search of a problem 
every biological scientist at some time 
very many scientists including 
particle physicists 
have tried to argue how their particular 
specialism can be applied to 
cancer research 
because that's where the money is 
and so 
we have the basic technologies to detect and treat 
glaucoma 
and we have the hangers-on 
today's word you have never heard of 
tapetum 
ignore the use in botany 
tapetum is  
Latin for carpet or tapestry 
 forget Egyptian Queen delivery vehicle 
Cleopatra to Caesar 
today we shall be mainly  
forgotten the comic reference there 
today we shall be mainly referring to the 
tapetum lucidum 
a reflective tissue layer associated with 
the retina of some vertebrates 
we have reached a way point in our arguement 
so with a lot of hamsters 
and albino rats and other pets 
eyes? 
red 
bright red with no pigment in their 
iris etc 
cats 
cats' eyes  
not just in the road 
shine out bright green 
not red at all 
green eyed monster , jealousy like vengeful cats 
in flash photography of people we can get 
red eye
in essence 
glaucoma means 
no red eye 
no matter what you do 
the retina is not red 
because it is blanched 
it is not green like a cat's 
but it is  
pink at best 
but essentially  
grey 
it is grey because 
there is little or no blood 
circulating across the retina 
and there are three causes 
1 blockage of the retinal artery,,, 
2 open angle glaucoma 
3 closed angle glaucoma 
the first is a sort of mini-stroke 
the third is 
caused by  
prolapse of the iris 
we need to step back 
the structure of the eye 
retina - screen in a cinema - in reverse 
not displaying images 
collecting them 
pathologist's anecdote here 
when guns with bullets 
as opposed to shot that scatters 
became murder weapons 
some victims presented with 
lethal wounds and a bullet in each eye 
on the basis that 
this was probably due to the fame of 
Spillisbury 
criminals thought that 
the retina retained an image of the last thing seen 
at point of death 
rather as a bright flash remains because 
a pattern of rhodopsin remains for a few seconds 
so that a flash can appear to be 
longer - of greater duration than - it was 
back to the plot for goodness sake 
retina at the back 
a jelly core that prevents collapse 
a lens 
a watery fluid that does the same for  
the area between the lens and the cornea 
the cornea is the window of the eye 
thus corneal transplant 
if the window is damaged 
a different bit - the lens 
replaced if the problem is  
cataract 
cataract come from waterfall 
you feel you are looking at the world from behind a waterfall 
closed angle glaucoma 
prolapse of the iris 
the iris is the coloured ring 
that is not coloured in albinoes 
the iris is surrounded by a 
ciliary body 
it secretes the watery stuff that's between 
the lens and the cornea 
and this watery stuff - the aqueous 
or aqueous humour 
is constantly secreted by the ciliary body and 
drains through the 
trabecular meshweork 
it flushes and irrigates the inside of the eye 
tears for indoors 
the front of the cornea has a 
tear layer 
the back of the cornea has 
aqueous humour 
the tears should not actually contact the cornea 
because the conjunctiva 
conjunctivitis? 
th conjunctiva with it's 
IT'S blood vessels 
keeps the moisture of the cornea in 
cloed angle glaucoma is prolapse of the iris 
the iris slumps into the 'angle' 
the place where tht draining trabecular meshwork is 
like a labradore dog 
lying against the living room door 
and trapping the cat in the kitchen 
aqueous continues to be secreted 
but cannot drain 
and the pressure builds and the  
blood vessels of the retina 
have the blood squeezed out of them 
and the retina can no longer do 
red eye 
it becames blanched 
it starts to look grey 
or glaucus 
open angle glaucoma is different in cause 
but similar in course 
regard the trabecular meshwork as 
a screen door 
imagine 
snow or leaves being blown up against 
a screen door - blocking it 
so n either of these cases we can do surgery 
these days often laser surgery 
to unblock the drains 
what we tend to do 
is 
use drugs to 
how shall we say 
switch from a flushing toilet 
to 
a chemical or earth closet 
we inhibit the flow of aqueous 
insread of clearng the  
blockage in the drains 
however 
we will ow concentrate on  
Wallgreen 
some 
optometrists working in Wallgreen's 
Boots Opticians 
have a laser scanner 
the cleaner could operate it 
takes seconds to scan the retina 
 it does not tell you  
as fundus photograph does  
how rosie red the retina is 
it tells you how 
thick 
the retina is 
and this matters because 
if the retina is abnormally 
THIN - galucoma 
Thick - infection 
an infection in the eye 
we are not talking on the scale of a
hypopeon 
we scatter these term for you to look up 
an infection in the eye will stimulate  
extra flushing aqueous secretion 
and we don't want to hamper that 
thick - light scattering - retina? 
glaucoma meds - NOT INDICATED 
if the retina is not bright red 
 the retina starves 
 more precisely 
if it is not well pink with bright vessels 
it will starve 
putting that another way 
if you have an infection in your eye 
most but NOT ALL eye infections 
come in from the front and 
cause corneal blistering - ulcers 
viruses can enter  
via a circulatory - blood or nerves 
route 
not topical - somehting flying into your eye 
 27th June 2021 
 27th June 2021 
long long time ago 
I can still remember 
American Pie 
we are here doing one of those 
save the buggers the trouble of doing the  
fact checking.... 
transparency things 
long long time ago 
our Ricker in the Vanessa Williams era 
different story 
shared a flat in  
Guildford YMCA 
with an aerospace engineer called 
Bharat Mistry 
and there is a Bharat Mistry on Linkedin 
Richer is a person respected in some quarters 
a standout from that time 
apart from Baharat's snoring 
was  
what does interdiction mean? 
I've been put on 
Interdiction RADAR 
it means speak between 
it means 
interception 
like this shield over Israel 
but without permission we will relate a little of 
Bharat's early career 
is or or was 
A Kenyan Asian 
from the BBC... 
1968 
More Kenyan Asians flee to Britain 
Another 96 Indians and Pakistanis from Kenya 
have arrived in Britain today 
the latest of a growing exodus of Kenyan 
Asians, fleeing from laws which prevent them from 
making a living 
essentially the late sixties in Kenya 
for Asians were like the early days of 
Krystal Nacht 
for Jews in Germany in the 1930s 
less Asians in Kenya than Jews in Germany and 
The UK decided 
let's not have World War 3 
lets just give the poor buggers 
yet another fresh start 
After the second world war 
Asians were found in all occupationsin 
Nairobi and the townships 
in business, in the police force, 
bureaucracy and the professions 
so, in essence 
the British Empire had 
landed smart Asians in East African countries 
such as Kenya 
similar to  
Greeks running the Empire of Ancient Rome 
and Romans and Kenyans in their turn said 
I may not be able to add up 
or choose an appropriate medical treatment 
but I am a Citizen 
this is my native land 
and I will not counternance 
being told that I am wrong 
or living in worse conditions than 
the experts 
in the UK there is currently? a comedy series called 
Plebs 
plebs are low grade citizens 
they have inherited rights but 
not the two brain cells to rub together 
and so 
when Black Africans 
and their associates 
AfroCaribbeans etc 
try to 
treat slavery like 
corn rows 
a hair style 
in a cultural appropriation 
way 
only Black can have corn rows 
only Blacks were ever enslaved 
they should contembplae the  
history of East Africa in the 2nd half of the 20th century 
post independence 
2017 India GDP 7200 dollers US per person 
Kenya Gross Domestic Product 3,500 
in a sense 
go home Packi  
Kenyan Paki, double your income... 
but The British did not  
hand their former civil servants out to dry 
today, interpreters in Afganistan 
grudgingly getting the same help? 
we've drifted way off the point 
back to Mr Mistry 
is he a world class electronics engineer? 
maybe 
he works for Siemens apparently 
we know that Marconi closed down in Guildford 
what we wanted to say about Mr Mistry was 
at the time there were a lot of  
aerospace companies in Surrey 
and Mr Mystry applied to work for most of them 
and the reason for his always looking for a new job? 
he could easily get a job with them 
but soon after starting with them 
he would get pressure to become 
a sales engineer based in 
The Sub continent 
he wanted to stay in the UK 
they saw him as a slaes link to Asian markets 
and this is yer Sajd Javid profile 
bus driver's son 
very successful in  
BIG 
business 
because he was highly paid for his 
supposed  
IN 
to Asian markets 
and for that matter East African markets 
so  
a bean counter 
a pro South Asia, anti East Asia bean counter  
with a Catholic - proobably Roman Catholic wife 
and that brings us to another topic 
arge numbers of devout Roman Catholics 
switching their devotions to 
solitary prayer 
using the epidemic as an excuse to 
break the habit of church attendance 
in Redcar we have a Roman catholic Primary school 
and a standard state primary 
effectively at opposite ends of a short street 
so we have St Bendict's 
so that would have been built and named 
after 2005 
before which Benedict???? 
when built it waas an amalgamation of 
two schools one being St Alban's 
 the other St Dominic's 
half a mile away 
Coatham Church of England Primary 
in that time 
Coatham has booted the local  
adult education centre out to 
expand provision for primary pupils 
the 'secular' school has had major investment 
St Benedict's is on Mersey Road 
and  
well a flurry of school gate traffic problems 
has all but gone 
but 
BUT at the other end of Tees Road 
Newcomen's gates are 
like a cattle mart 
it is extrordinary how the traffic management problem 
has shifted in a decade 
essentially 
we have switched from  
Thames Road being a nightmare on school mornings to 
Trent Road being worse than Thames/Mersey ever was 
although the trend is likely to be 
sex scandle driven 
the faithful have not flocked back home to 
The Church 
in the face of the epidemic 
and it was a Papal instruction to say Bless You 
One of the symptoms of the plague was coughing and sneeing 
and it is believed that Pope Gregory I 
Gregorian chant????? 
suggested saying  
God Bless You 
after a person sneezed 
in hopes the prayer would protect them from an 
other wise cretain death 
traditionally 
the japanese did not say 
Bless you 
they said 
don't do that 
in japanese natch 
in Iowa 
it was for a time 
illegal to say 
Gesundheit 
in public or on the 'phone 
however 
traditional sources 
saying bless you when somebody sneezes has two versions 
both relate to a sort of Heimlich manouver 
Heimlich maneuver 
First Aid response to choking 
a sneeze can be violent on a par with the Heimlich 
and so 
one version is 
Thank you for expelling that evil spirit from your body 
the other 
people die after sneezing - see above 
because they have Heimliched their soul 
out of their body 
and the blessing is a prayer in hopes that it will go back in 
and in the day it rarelt did 
hence the attraction of 
antossins that leave victims drowning in their own 
fluids 
 
  
when somebody gets a new job 
our first thought is not 
how will they approach this new job 
we first ask 
what does the person making the appointment 
think this person is going to do in this job 
we are very confident that within 2 weeks 
around 90 per cent of adults in the UK 
will have had at least one SARS jab 
in a sense it's like 
somebody invents something 
that chap in Malaysia or has he come back to the UK 
who invented the ball barrow 
a wheel barrow with a soccor ball for a wheel 
must have gimick 
great idea 
convince the world that wheelbarrows don't work 
sell then a patented alternative 
and move on to the next product before they 
realise they have been conned 
those kind of guys need at some point to 
hand over the company to 
the people with the MBAs 
Master of Business Administration 
so far as we can tell 
the media have been publishing material featuring 
Matt Hancock 
that is not paparatzi but  
official in house security logs 
given that the two people in the video are 
the secretary of state and his 
head of compliance 
you wonder if this was 
if you don't tell your wife 
I'll hand over some recordings to the media 
to get back to the Prime Minister and 
Sajid Javid 
if the majority of the majority have the vaccine 
it is logical to put somebody with 
links to the doubting 10 per cent 
in charge of completing the job 
we - in Redcar - have probably forgotten that 
Sajid Javid was the  
Finance Secretary - CHancellor 
who refused to 
tide SSI steel works over until 
world steel prices improved 
he's from a family of 
four boys - 3 still alive 
who developed their businesses from  
a flat over a shop 
but despite that being from a  
British Pakistani family 
he started in Rochdale but grew up in Bristol 
there will be people who are now calculating 
what chance he will return to the 
Department for Tata Support? 
or Sugar Daddy House? 
in honesty we don't rate his chances high 
he has become 
niche 
send him in when  
the natives are revolting 
 25th June 2021 
once upon a time 
our Ricker had some sort of responsibility for 
running a shop 
one of the assistants was a bit overweight 
and would turn up for 
customer facing work 
with food stains clear on 
whatever she was wearing 
and the other staff would complain about her to Ricker 
and Ricker would say 
she's doing very well 
you do know she was run over when she was little 
and suffered head injuries... 
 
sometimes a new development comes as they say in 
American Football - we think 
out of left field 
a councillor is facing a misconduct hearing over a 
social media post which said 
white people had also been slaves 
A Darlington Borough Council inquiry found 
Pauline Culley had broken its code of conduct 
we understand that Mrs Cullen is in the  
governing party  
and the inquiry was instigated by the opposition 
the meme??? she posted stated 
people of all raceshad ancestors who 
'took slaves, sold slaves, or were slaves 
you're not special' 
one of the problems with the internet is 
it gives too much detail 
a person who wants to attempt suicide 
as an attention seeking exercise 
having seen it done on the internet 
finds it impossible to get it wrong 
and dies 
when they only wanted to 
be special 
if all you know is 
how to commit suicide 
how do you know how to stage a  
failed attempt at suicide? 
our Ricker has had similar experiences 
new piece of kit 
useless instructions 
much experimentation 
eventual success 
thereafter utterly incapable of 
demonstrating where he was going wrong 
the link? 
slavery in Ancient Rome 
played an important role in society and 
the economy 
Besides manual labour 
slaves performed many domestic services 
and might be employed at highly skilled 
jobs and professions 
Accountants and physicians were often slaves 
Slaves of Greek origin in particular 
might be highly educated 
unskilled slaves or those sentenced to slavery 
as punishment 
worked on farms, in mines and at mills 
so by some standards 
modern shemes such as  
community payback 
people on probation doing  
so many hours of unpaid work 
to compensate society for their offences 
are 
modern day, part time 
slaves 
in essence 
two definitions of slavery 
unpaid work 
being in society but  
not a citizen 
in a sense 
at a bit of a stretch 
before universal adult sufferage 
all women in the UK 
who did not have the vote were  
not amongst the 
trusted subjects of the crown 
is it 'cos I's black? 
like the woman with the head injury 
I am to be'excused boots' because 
of something that may have happened to an ancestor 
if those people had not been slaves 
every black person would be 
Ela Fitzgerald or Clive Myrie 
what can you say? 
what about the contrast between all thos people who's  
ancestors may have been slaves 
and all those families of white people who 
lost loved ones in war? 
being black does not hold everybody back 
the bottom line is 
it may be more difficult to succeed with an  
ethnic handicap 
but it is by no means impossible 
what sets back the cause of any minority is 
1 branding anyone who succeeds 
a choc-ice 
only black on the surface 
not deeply rooted in the black culture 
2 choosing your brain damaged members 
and insisting they are crowned 
king of the world 
3 if you are Lewis Hamilton 
and you are constantly under pressure to 
fix things for the other brothers 
you can't continue to succed and 
act as an inspiration 
rather than 
a friend in high places 
and so 
launching disciplinary action over a tweet 
about slavery has nothing to do with  
black rights 
it's about oppostion politicians trying to 
discredit politicians in the ruling party 
and as we say 
nothing to do with 
how the opposition would do a better job 
if they got power 
 24th June 2021 
we, in particular our Ricker 
do tend to get places most people don't go 
so we will just skirt around how come 
our Ricker was in the custardy suite 
at Redcar police headquarters 
in the modern world 
when it comes to the 
Book 'em Danno 
a Kojak reference 
the custardy officers are likely to be 
female civilian assistance workers 
not semi-retired 
desk sergeants 
we will give  a name here 
we have no idea how the officer's career has progressed 
but we are not dealing in a sort of 
Colin Dexter, Morse, style fantasy here 
we are recounting real life 
the arresting officer was  
DC Lyndsey Forbes 
responsible adult 
and the suggestion is that 
a responsible adult is somebody who is 
not a lawyer but is a sort of chapperone 
we are describing a  
pre-CoViD scene 
and so screens have now probably been erected 
all over the place 
as built the custardy suite had a wrap around desk 
and the floor behind the desk was 
   a coupe of feet - half a metre 
higher than the floor in front of the desk 
so the scene is 
the prisoner, the responsible adult 
and the arresting officer are 
on the lower level 
and around three custardy clerks are at the higher level 
the prisoner is male 
there is a corridor that takes a right angle turn  
as it transitions from being a lik between 
the front desk - the police station reception  
and the custardy suit where the afore mentioned 
split level desk is the reception for custardy 
one reception for the station 
the other reception for the cells 
the first or outer length of the corridor is lined 
not with cells but with 
interview rooms 
so the prisoner arrives with DC Forbes and the  
responsible adult 
and they are just about to enter an interview room when 
some bloke - assumed to be a male detective 
bustles up and says to DC Forbes 
I wanna be in on this one 
and what shall we say 
the responsible adult finds himself 
not so much protecting the prisoner 
but preventing the male tec from 
disrupting DC Forbes' line of questioning 
so after the decision to charge 
we have the prisoner and the responsible adult and DC Forbes 
at the lower level and three clerks at the upper level 
and after some slightly testy interactions 
along the lines 
the answer you have given does not fit with 
any of our tick boxes 
another male officer appears and 
grabs the prisoner by the knackers 
because he has to be searched before he can be put into his cell 
broadly and overall we have a sense that 
the male inhabitants of the police station are 
not happy with women dealing with  
the protection of women 
however 
we want to trun this around 
we want to remind people about the logistic of 
Call the Midwife era 
home births 
the husband would in those days often be sent off 
possibly to a neighbour's house to 
'prepare some hot water' 
whilst the main action took place 
now the how shall we say 
man who caused the pregnancy 
is encouraged to attend as 
chapperone 
throughout 
where we are getting to is 
we think 
if a woman needs a speculum shoved up her chuff 
the appropriate adult to do it is 
the bloke who regularly shoves his todger up there 
we think 
if a body needs a coil fitted 
it should be done by  
the regular rapist 
under suitable female supervision 
  
 
  
sometimes the expert can see that a word has a place 
in the lexicon despite never having been used 
never having been written down or spoken 
in that sense the compilers of dictionaries are perhaps not 
lexicographers 
they need an example of the use of a word to deduce its meaning 
words mean what they are used to mean 
for example 
endemic means local 
from a logical point of view 
if you parse the word as you would parse an phrase or sentence 
from the dictionary complier's point of view 
it means 
entrenched 
beause that is what it is used to mean 
and so we turn to the words of  
gender identity 
we have not heard or seen the term 
prototrans 
transvestite 
means a person who wears clothes intended for  
the other gender 
in broad terms 
men are not expected to wear bras 
but women can pretty much wear what they like 
and so transvestite becomes a words from an era of 
stict dress codes that is now gone 
and so trans now s short for transgender 
or trans-sexual 
trans-sexual has the disadvatage of being confused with 
bisexual 
in the UK most people are very familiar with anews anchor who is 
female and has a wife 
she is in no way trans 
she is an example of a person 
perhaps living with a legacy or eary life experiences 
who is not comfortable with the concept of having a 
male life partner 
neither partner in that marriage would contemplate 
gender re-assignment 
they just trust each other and get along 
there are other females in the public eye  
particularly in the sports arena 
where one partner is  
shall we say 
oh we were so relieved when she decided to 
take a wife 
but still not driven to have their bodies changed 
to suit their attraction to the female gender as a partner 
these are not the subject of this unspoken word 
the word is 
prototrans 
in a sense this is the equivalent of 
closet gay 
somebody who should be trans but 
feels inhibited from admitting it 
we have written before about 
straight men consulting closet gay men about 
what women want 
there is something a little disturbing about a  
female doctor who assumes that 
having a female medic shove a speculum up a body 
is not in any way similar to being 
dry humped 
relax, I've got a speculum but I have no willie so 
you are safe 
does not compute for most people 
something else gets thrown in here 
why would a person with 
post meapausal or pre menapausal 
vaginal atrophy 
be in the market for 
contraception? 
why throw that nto the mix? 
as we have said 
if you are taking it on the shitter 
you don't need contraception 
and how many people have both 
vaginal atrophy and a stoma? 
some of the stuff just does not add up 
I need contraception 
just in case i get 
dry humped 
morning after pill.... 
if we stand back and from outside the box we define  
rape 
it is being dry humped whist fertile 
otherwise you are a co-conspirator in the generation of 
this pregnancy 
except 
Mama Mia 
and the girl with the big pants 
if you genuinely don't know which of a number of partners 
is the father 
you are living before DNA profiling 
unless there's a war on and several of your partners 
are missing in action 
force peope to have a DNA test but 
don't charge them with rape 
 23rd June 2021 
Here's a thing 
some popular histories of the  
Railways in the UK 
refer to each new line 
needing to be sanctioned by an 
Act of Parliament 
there have been at least two 
Matrimonial Causes Acts 
in the UK 
1857 
and 1923 
before the first of these 
a marriage could only be dissolved by 
Act of Parliament 
our Ricker's grandad 
got divorced between these two dates 
and although he did not have to go to 
Parliament 
he had to go the 
The High Court in London 
to get his divorce 
it was the Divorce Reform Act of 1969 
that gave the UK divorce as presently understood 
before then 
adultery had to be proved 
and there was a role or calling 
professional co-respondent 
the wife sued for divorce on the grounds of adultery 
the husband responded to the charge 
and a witness swore that they had seen or were 
the co-respondent who would affirm that 
the husband and the co-respondent had 
for however brief a moment 
been on the same bed  
clothed perhaps 
with both having bothe feet off the floor 
that was the legal definition of adultery 
so in essence 
curling up at either end of a sofa bed would qualify 
and this is not so different from the now discredited 
Moslem man saying 
I divorce you three times to his wife 
after  a 1937 act 
grounds were extended to include 
in addition to adultery 
drunkenness, insanity, and desertion 
after the 1969 Divorce Reform Act 
they could separate for two years 
or for five if only one partner agreed 
and that would do 
we see echoes of old laws everywhere 
stalking derives to some extent 
from forced contact thwarting a 
separation qualification for divorce 
what we want to address today is the period when 
divorce was possible - but difficult 
when marriage was generally considered to be 
'till death do us part 
so pre 1937 
pre 1937 two little toughs from  
the Welsh valley's 
up before the beak because 
one night they had given the village social club 
a sheep tied to a lamp post 
a miss and got stuck into a couple of local lasses 
they come up on a charge of rape 
none of the four can say who got who  
up the duff 
exaspirated the magistrate says 
I'm going to adjourn this case for a week 
if when you come back 
each of you lads has married one of these lasses 
I will dimiss the case 
The whole thing  
divorce and rape and marriage is fundamentaly about 
suppressing 
birth out of wedlock 
bartardy 
and like Chinese Whispers 
it evolves into 
I'm a bit borasic 
borasic lint - skint 
who can I accuse of having raped me so I can get 
the 15 grand  
criminal injuries compensation whack? 
from being a protection for the unborn child 
it becomes a gravy train for lawyers and harlots 
if you have been 
genuinely 
assaulted 
then the charge should be 
assault 
we have this latest case 
and we do not mean to prejudice any appeal 
but the defendant's story was 
the condom split 
so the street walker says 
I want your details pending a 
pregnancy test 
or I'll tell the police you raped me 
so the punter strangled the woman 
this was 1997 
a little late for this but 
DNA profilling changed that game 
before DNA a dead victim couldn't give evidence 
after DNA if you wanted to silence a victim 
you had to both kill them and destroy their remains 
or 
you had to keep them away from the authorities 
until all trace of your DNA would have  
possibly, hopefully, have been washed away 
women should not need to 
go thermonuclear 
and claim rape 
if women could take forward complaints of  
assault 
without bringing in 
threat of pregnancy 
which rape is 
despite all attempts to expand 
'rape' to include the likes of buggery 
then juries would be much more willing to  
convict on the basis that the perp would 
get wrist slapped 
no life destroyed 
and in parallel 
we see 
guilty of manslaughter 
not guilty of murder 
being the routine preference of juries in anything but 
slam dunk cases 
we read some out and out 
cant 
in the summing up of many judges 
and the above will seem somewhat academic 
the jury are likely to be thinking 
1 why were you on the pull and not on the pill? 
have you not heard of the morning after pill? 
and the police would be asking 
since you were on the pill, what was your jeapody 
since your 'phone says you were happy to have 
Tom Dick and Harry up you 
why pick on this poor sap? 
 
  
The BBC has a female 
Shock Jock 
called variously but mainly 
Naga Munchetty 
her latest 'outburst' relates to 
the contraceptive coil 
a shock jock is a type of radio broadcaster or 
DJ 
who entertains or attracts 
listeners by 
using humour and/or 
melodramtic exaggeration 
that may offend some listeners 
w have concerns for 
Mrs Haggar 
in this one instance she shows signs of 
vaginisemus 
overall her behaviour is indicative of 
some sort of 
we say this, not least, because of the similarites  
in lirfe hisory to 
Redca's own long lost MP 
Mo Mowlam 
vaginismus symptoms 
your vagina suddenly tightening if you try to 
put something into it such as a 
tampon 
time was 
coils were supposed to work by 
causing an irritation 
these days IUDs 
intrauterine devices 
are supposed to prevent conception  
for around 5 years per insertion 
by shedding 
slow release copper 
frankly 
WE poor saps 
can't see why a body would prefer an IUP 
to a 
hormonal contraceptive implant 
but there may be a need for an alternative 
we are aware of the stories of 
The Stray 
and vaginismus 
it's a bit like myths of 
dens vagina 
the idea of a vagina having teeth 
The Stray in Redcar/Marske 
is a coastal equivalent of  
The Stray in the likes of Harrogate 
a large slightly remote stretch of grassland 
and the stories relate to 
a female clamping so hard on a male member 
of an evening, on The Stray 
that the couple both died of exposure 
before morning came... 
22nd June 2021 
the all time 
God I wouldn't kick that 
out of bed 
champ 
in our Ricker's book is 
Lisa from 
Ice Road Truckers 
the series has ended 
that strand of 
infotainment 
has morphed and changed somewhat 
we are not sure how widely  
The Supervet  
is distributed 
It is a series about a UK based Irish 
venenary orthopaedic surgeon 
Noel Fitzpatrick 
some of the shows have suffered from  
the curse of the fogging filter 
you make a superb documentary 
and then you 
transmit it through fogged glass 
but that aside 
this series features genuine jeopardy 
the basic fact is 
almost none of the animal patients will 
live for more than 10 years 
and so the jeopardy is not 
genuinely life and death 
it is length and quality of life 
clearly the animal has a problem 
the question is not 
will the animal live? 
but 
what is Noel going to do about the problem 
the series has no need to introduce 
synthetic jeopardy  
and at the same time 
although there is scope for endearing little 
side stories 
about how cute the nurses find the patients 
ther are no 
out and out pranks 
that so marred the 
Chip Foose auto show Overhaulin' 
the whole Overhaulin' concept is 
now - again with reduced pranking - better done in the UK show 
Car SOS 
the message from infotainment is clear 
less synthetic jeopardy and pranking 
more geewhiz  
How successful is 
Speed is the new Black? 
and very watchable are 
the half of  
Kindig Customs 
that aren't shot on a mobile 'phone 
at a car show 
there is something quite endearing about how 
the women in that show 
allow themselves to be portraied 
more like The Osbournes than the Kardacians 
all of this is background to our thoughts about 
F1 
Formula One motor racing 
the core question is 
given the superb visual  
not audio 
facilities 
do people want to watch 
superb driving 
or 
synthetically 'close' competition 
whenever the rules of the game start to 
even the odds 
the clue is in the name 
there is one 'sport' designed for 
betting 
it is  
handicap horse racing 
instead of introducing 
playing field levelling  
penalities 
for inexplicable rule infringements 
why not introduce 
push bike racing style 
bonifications 
that is expand on the idea of 
an extra point for fastest lap 
and instead of  
time penalties 
introduce 
time bonuses 
time deducted from the final time 
we are all well acquainted with the idea of 
a driver yet to make a pit stop 
having driven furthest but  
not really bing in the lead 
F1 is not 
roundy roundy racing 
so you could never take a 
drone snapshot 
and know who was winning 
like in the athletics 100 m dash 
the stats are the thing 
you look to  
The Leader Board 
as in golf 
to see the state of play 
the whole deal is 
stats plus overtakes 
but all this 
it would be bad for business if 
a black man won in Russia 
needs to be dropped 
 19th June 2021 
The underlying ethos of the 
British Anglican Christian Church is 
if in doubt 
act charitably 
and 
God will see you right 
if you back a wrong'un 
God will even the score 
we remember the face but not the name of a 
famous mid 20th century  
murdered defending cleric 
but let that pass 
we have not researched the motivations of 
the present UK Prime Minister's family in  
choosing 
 Johnson 
as the family name.... 
but we will quote 
Samuel Johnson  
on 7 April 1775 
referring to William Pitt
Patriotism is the last refuge of 
the scoundrel 
we tend to disagree 
we suspect that 
piety is the last refuge of the scoudrel 
Lord make me pious but not yet 
Augustine of Hippo 
actually  
lord make me chaste (sexually pure) 
but not yet 
the term 
bumptious 
comes to mind regarding the UK Prime Minister 
rudely self-assertive 
quarrelsome, self-important 
from bump 
a dull hevy blow 
as a cricket enthusiast 
he may identify himself with the 
form of bowling delivery referred to as 
a bumper 
we draw the parallel with 
Martin Bashir 
journalist don't chriticise 
journlists 
not until they are dead at least because 
the Bashir affair is the perfect example of the  
turism that 
no matter how discredited a colleague may be 
you may wake up one morning and find that 
he is your editor 
wasn't there a relatively recent 
former finance minister - Chancellor 
who woke up to find himself 
editor of the 
London Evening Standard 
we do see a pattern of behaviour 
conversion? to Roman catholicism 
friendship with US Presidents 
that is consistent with the idea that 
the present UK Prime Minister 
has a plan to become the next 
President of the United States 
he qualifes as he was born in 
New York, New York 
we are much more interested in the 
New Atlantic Charter 
and the Special Relationship 
between the US and the UK 
we see a new conflict between 
the new US President and the 
US Roman Clergy 
Middlesbrough in the North East of England was 
once reffered to as 
The Infant Hercules 
and the US between the  
First and Second World Wars 
was an Infant Hercules 
we see everything through a prism 
we see the US as having produced 
all the Allied War Material 
used in the Second World War 
we assume it was always so 
we forget that from 
the Boar war ti the end of the  
First World War 
it was the Uk that was the world's prime producer of 
war materials 
Steam Punk imagery aside 
the Vicorian Age was called Victorian because 
the UK WAS the Workshop of the World 
a major part of the 
Greatness 
of the United States 
was down to 
the UK deciding to confront Nazi Germany 
and deciding to buy war materials from the US 
The Us does not want to be anybody's 
client state 
but with such as short 
history 
as a modern nation 
it would far rather be regarded as a 
Former British Colony 
than be regarded as a 
colony 
consider the 
Rust Belt 
of the US 
and consider the ethnicity 
Pensilvania Dutch 
and the 
Building of 
The Wall 
due to  
democracy 
we have had Presidents - Bush? 
speaking in a Hispanic version of Spanish 
and a Kenedy stating 
Isch bin ein Berliner 
in fainess and translation he quote is actually 
there is no prouder boast than 
I am a Berliner 
but by decalring the first half in English and the 
second half in German 
he gave a certain ant British tinge  
that may have been intended as 
pro-Irish 
the US is riven with sectarian tensions 
and for them 
them being US administartions 
Britain is the nearest thing they have to a 
neutral corner 
and so we come to a very important 
media glitch 
the media sail along and regard 
up there 
as 
Scandinavia 
Norway Sweden Finland 
we have said 
AstraZenica is 
Swedish-British 
Astra Swedish 
Zenica being ICI 
it does not seem to have occured to 
world media types that 
Norway would try to trash the reputation of 
a Swedish vaccine 
they all Scandi ain't they? 
they were alert to  
the contrarian nature of the 
cheese eating surrender monkies 
in Paris 
but everything is sweetness and light 
up in the snow... 
 
  
turning to the Cinema on the Sands 
nothing photogenic has happened recently 
there was  
tanking 
waterproofing the basement 
and that stopped  
steel and concrete erection 
but the overall shape should emerge soon 
  
14th June 2021 
  
this is yer classic  
Redcar Rivers 
semi-terrace pass through 
we have to add important notes here 
first 
these autodefibrilators are very smart 
they will not shock a patient who  
does not need it 
you are treating the patient 
you are not  
offering tribute to God 
only do what the patient needs 
not something that 
occurs to you 
for instance 
if the patient is bleeding 
stop the bleeding before you do CPR 
consider  
is there internal bleeding 
all places where people could get  
over excited 
sports entertainment exam centres loads 
should have a defib 
thirty seconds getting the m/c 
is time you can afford to 
hold off CPR 
you've got a couple on minutes 
here is a point we have made before 
if the arhythmia is due to 
excess adrenaline 
pumping two of three  
epipens worth of adrenaline 
into them will probably finish them off 
if both defib and epipen are available 
TRY THE DEFIB FIRST 
it's way smarter than the pen 
 
  
regular readers will know that 
our Ricker is a walking encyclopaedia of 
biological and medical facts 
sometimes it gives him fellow feeling with 
women who feel regarded as  
walking wombs 
to some extent we try to emphasize the 
more unusual aspects of current issues 
and so we come to  
sudden heart stops in the fit young 
our Ricker has direct experience of this 
except that the early 60s isn't young 
it kiled his mother in her early sixties 
first of all we have to set down 
what people think they know 
people think that people die of heart failure through 
developing a myocardial infarct 
and so all the emphasis is on 
cholesterol 
and stents 
the accepted concept of 
how and why people die from heart failure
 
is that people eat the wrong things 
cholestorol builds up in the  
blood vessels around the heart 
and a wedge of the heart muscle dies through 
starvation - mainly oxygen starvation 
this effect is almost exactly the same as 
the cause of a 
stroke in the brain 
there, a chunk of brain dies through 
either too much blood crushing it 
needs something to stop the bleeding 
or a blockage that needs clot buster drugs or 
some sort of stent  
but stents in the brain is my more risky than 
stents on the surface of the heart 
all of which has nothing to do with 
fit person drop down dead syndrome 
nothing whatever 
 
two words you probably haven't heard and one you 
will know well 
phrenic 
vagus 
hiccups 
imagine that you are a car 
any conventional road motor vehicle 
just say you do a Dr. Foster 
Doctor Foster, went to Gloucester 
in a shower of rain 
that is Gloster 
we were amused when somebody from a Northern State said 
This is not Texas 
we pronounce 
Houston 
House Ton 
he stepped in a puddle 
right up to his muddle 
Vicar of Dibbley... 
and never went there again 
if you were a safari prepared 
Land Rover or a Humvee 
you would have a snorkel 
and you wouldn't get water in your engine 
but you would get it in your  
electrics 
like  
like pressure washing a motorcycle 
when a person's heart stops
or after defibrilisation 
they immediately sit up  
right as rain 
the fault is not with their heart 
but with their electrics 
our Ricker has a stressful time of it 
a few years ago because 
amongst other things 
he started to get really quite bad 
hiccups 
and being the walking encyclopaedia of  
all things medical 
he knew what that meant 
he had a problem with his phrenic nerves 
they were firing off when they shouldn't 
and Ricker further knew that  
if this was due to an infection 
the next nerves in the firing line were his
next segment up his body 
and instead of 
disturbance to the smooth working of his  
diaphragm 
essential for shallow breathing 
WE HAVE A BIG SIGNAL ABOUT THIS LATER 
it woudld be the vagus next and that  
influences the beating of the heart 
here's the thing 
how do you distress your phrenic and vagus nerves? 
well it can be a  
this calls for some embryology 
search 
recurrent larangeal nerve 
nerves exit the spine further up the body 
than the place to act 
so 
these chest acting nerves exit the spine in the neck 
and then they track down outside the spine 
to where they will act 
so 
an ingrowing hair in your ear 
we're quoting the Mayo Clinic here 
can disturb the nervous contro of your heart 
but a tumour in your neck is more likely the cause 
what about these fully fit young 
athletes/ 
it's simple and  
almost undetectable 
at moments of peak excitement 
like playing in a European Soccer finals 
you blow a fuse 
not water in your electrics 
more 
adrenaline in your electrics 
if you come round 
you will be fine 
you just had a time out 
howsomever 
CoViD.... 
if the virus has damaged your 
phrenic and vagus nerves 
you wll find it very difficult to 
come off artificial ventilation 
and we hear of patients 
struggling to breath 
they have probably lost all 
diaphragmal respiration 
and are struggling to breath using 
accessory muscles of respiration 
the intercostal muscles 
belly not rising and falling but 
chest struggling to heave 
 12th June 2021 
from time to time we are reminded about the 
Red Flag Act 
that's probably not what it's called
required a pedsetrian to walk in front of 
every motor vehicle 
waving a red flag 
consider an alternative 
parallel universe 
in which 
airline pilots are not allowed to hold 
a road vehicle driving licence 
and must employ a chaufer for all 
private journies 
now slide back into the world we know and 
consider eye care 
back in the days when the local chemist's 
or pharmacy sold all forms of 
'chemicals' 
including motor vehicle fuel 
there were a lot of chemists who 
fixed people up with specs. 
up until the 
Opticians Act of 1958 
the testing of eyes and the dispensing of specs 
were not regulated activities 
people - many working in chemist shops - learned about  
optics on the job 
and may have done some sort of 
night school or day release 
here is where the problem comes in 
when the testing of eyes and the dispensing of specs 
required a qualification... 
it wasn't just market traders and dispensing chemists who 
would have been without a licence 
a registration with the 
General Optical COuncil 
it would also have been 
family doctors and 
eye surgeons 
who were cut out of this work 
there used to be  
DOs - Dispensing Opticians 
and  
OOs - Ophthalmic Opticians 
now OOs are called optometrists 
because the UK will usually follow US fashions in such things 
we have a small story about a student optometrist 
so far as we know this still applies but at the time of this 
tale 
optometrists had to do a full time degree 
followed by a pre-registration year 
so we are referring to a student with a degree  
in Optometry and Visual Science 
and she was taking her pre-registration exams 
and she kept failing 
and eventually she wrote to the particular examiner who 
was failing her 
to ask why 
this examiner was a retired or semi-retired but registered  
this is the early 1980s in the UK 
he was not a graduate 
but had decades of experience  
in the trade 
and he told the student that she was failing because 
he tought that the way she repaired - shortened - the sides 
of a spectacle frame 
rendered the specs unacceptable for sale 
for lack of neatness 
and she had been wracking her brains about 
what pathology she had failed to detect 
and he was about the merchantable quality of the specs 
and that would be the responsibility of 
a DO, not an OO 
so it does raise the question 
how adept do you need to be in  
anciliary skills 
to qualify as 
a principal? 
 even if you intend to work in a hospital 
or a multiple 
do you need all the skills needed to be 
a single handed practitioner 
in order to qualify? 
on the other hand 
if you are 'time served' are you entitled to become 
an examiner 
and exclude from your profession 
people who 'do magic' 
with science and that? 
 if you are a self financing graduate 
no student loan because you have a degree.. 
are the lower profession - optometry 
entitled to 
throw you off the course you have paid for 
because you have 
the potential to be an eye surgeon? 
if you qualify as an optometrist 
you can pay your way through 
medical school by 
earning from 
optometry session work 
but not if they optometrists don't want 
medical students  
on THEIR register 
 
 11th June 2021 
sometimes a body can get a little stressed 
a little overtired 
our Ricker feels like a todler sometimes 
sometimes I feel like a motherless child 
we haven't looked that reference up 
anyway 
the council 
want to know about on street parking on 
The Rivers Estate 
The Rivers Estate was started in 1939 
and the roads - in general - were doubled in length 
twenty or thirty years later 
the older houses are in terraces of six houses 
and further these are not traditional terraces 
each set of six homes consists of 
two entirely normal madern style 
semi detatched homes 
with four terrace houses built between them 
linked at first floor level but  
in pairs at ground level 
separated by a tunnel-like pass through  
around 3 feet wide 
designed to 
get a bicycle or motor bike 
from the front street to the back garden 
the original half of the estate 
the original ends of the streets  
were concieved as a 
miniature garden suburb 
with trees in the grass verges 
and  
'free' fruit trees in the back garden 
each house now has a separate back garden 
but as built 
there was a semi-public pathway along the  
back of each terrace 
and what is now the garden was an 
attached allotment 
separated by the communal path 
so each of these 'roads'  
they are all called Tyne Road 
etc 
with every road name being  
the name of a river that starts with a T 
and ending in Road 
the original roads consisted of 
four terraces - two pairs facing each other 
24 homes plus the non-Thames Road halves of the 
top of the road semis 
for a long time now they have had around 50 homes 
and so of the 50 homes 
16 are mid-terrace 
and the rest are some sort of semi 
having by definition 
only one attached neighbour 
what is interesting is that all the roads except the  
linking 
Thames Road 
have two car widths of gap where ther is a gap 
some houses - semis - in Thames Road 
have the with of one car between them 
those homes tend to have 
a one car width communal side alley leading to  
two separate garages 
all of which is a little testing 
and the width of the road is such that 
back in the days of 
community spirit 
at say the north end 
the on street parking was - by tradition 
on the west side of the road 
and outside the south end terraces it was on the  
east side of the road 
things have moved on 
people don't cycle to work 
that is not the half of it 
the thing is 
this - in good measure - is a community of 
trades 
employed and self employed 
mum needs a car to get to the hospital 
where she works = James Cook 
and dad? 
dad is expected to take his works van home 
each night 
and so 
parking on the verges 
trees deemed 
rotten and removed 
should the roadway be widened 
to allow parking on 
both sides of the road 
just at the moment that 
pavements in 
Station Road 
are being widened - and parking banned 
so that hospitality venues can 
serve at tables on the sidewalk? 
 
  
and that leads us to  
hospitality 
three words 
hospital, hospice, hospitality 
all derived from the Latin 
hospes - a guest 
and hospitium - a place for guests 
this is a major  
paradigm - paradyme to you and me 
a paradigym shift 
a hospice and a hospital are 
in origin the same thing 
whether a hospice or a hospital 
they were a place where  
paliative care was offered and given 
a hospital was like 
The Sir William Turner Hospital 
at Kirkleatham 
a place where  
like the Chelsea Hospital 
people who could fend for themselves 
could have a quiet and supervised little 
monkish cell 
whereas a hospice  
was more for the care of the dying 
a development from  
beds in the aisles of cathedrals 
and it is interesting that 
these days 
people think of 
assisted dying as 
playing God 
but until not that long ago 
attempting 
cures 
as opposed to offering paliative care 
was seen as 
playing God 
since illnes was seen as a 
punishment from God 
some see this life as 
the actual purgatory where we atone for 
sins in a previous life 
meicine od a curative sort 
was seen as 
undermining God's justice 
and we return to a line from over a year ago 
if this world is a  
theme park style purgatory 
pneumonia is the old man's friend 
God sends you pneumonia when  
she thinks you have suffered enough 
how distant is this 
consider 
hand washing rituals 
consider thanking a person for sneezing 
blees you 
thanks for expelling your demons 
not such a popular idea as it was a couple of years ago 
 
 7th June 2021 
our ricker's favourite 
News Anchor 
is Pretty Polly 
Joanna Gosling 
but the one he finds  
fascinating  
is 
Martine something or other 
Ricker knows a thing or two about 
eyes and specs 
see, Martine, for less than a tenner 
you can get 
swing or hinge lens  
ready readers 
with yer contacts in.. 
if you need them 
you put on these specs and 
either the one reader lens 
swings over your nose from one eye to the other 
or there are two lenses and they independently  
fold down out of the way 
and with care 
you don't need to look like 
you put on your eye shaddow 
with a tar brush 
 6th June 2021 
our Ricker wants to unburden himself of the next 
concept 
we wrote about the influence of 
prey image on speciation 
but firt 
we did look it up 
Italy never had an empire before 
1882 
1882 - 1938 Eritea 
1889 - 1936 Somalia 
1936 - 1941 Italian East Africa 
1918 - 1920 Italian Alabania 
1939 - 1943 Italian Albania 
1912 - 1947 Italian Islands in the Aegean 
1901 - 1943 consessions in Tientsen 
in general 
apart from Libya 1911 - 1943 
this is not an empire 
this is 'Italy' acting as a  
cat's paw 
a surrogate for another empire 
mainly Germany 
Mussolini was Prime Minister of 
Italy from 1922 to 1943 
he sort of invented and spread 
Fascism 
and Adolf Hitler took him up on that 
the fascist Axis was 
Italy,1922 - 1943 
 Germany,1933 - 1945 
 Japan 1931 - 1945 
other countries involved 
Austria 1933 - 45 
Brazil 1932 - 1938 
Republic of China 1940 - 1945 
pupet of Japan 
Croatia 1940 - 1944 
France 1940 - 1944 
Greece 1936 - 1941 
Hungary 1932 - 1945 
Norway 1942 - 1945 
Portugal 1933 - 1974 
Poland - the 1930s 
Romania 1940 - 1944 
Slovakia 1939 - 1945 
Spain 1936 - 1974 
South Africa - off and on from the 1930s and 1940s 
to a resurgeance in the 1970s and 1980s 
Yugoslavia 1935 - 1939 
all of this is to question  
was the a German or an Italian Empire? 
the 'politics' and foundation was Italian 
but the Muscle and the Husstle was 
German 
having set that straight 
No German or Italian colonies in the time of 
James Cook, Walter Raleigh, and that sort of 
explorer colonisation era 
 
  
to return to the speciation issue  
we need another concept 
or concept pair 
dogs dogs, cats and bears 
predator mammals 
they tend to have three things 
a den 
a territory 
a home range 
some of these mountain lion style 
big cats have a home range of serveral  
tens if not hundreds of square miles 
kilometers 
take the dogs  
painted dogs is it now 
so they have dens to keep their pups in 
and such 
they have a territory 
they defend that against 
incursion from 
how shall we say? 
dogs who are family 
but not of their 
household - denhold 
if these households bein to drift apart 
genetically 
due to sexual selection or custom 
they may speciate 
but it has to be remembered that 
all these dogs will tolerate all the other dogs 
being within their  
home range 
and will only chase them away from their 
territory 
IF they ENCOUNTER them 
so as they drift apart in their genetics... 
are they in the same habitat - sympatric 
or on different territories - alopatric 
and here is another  
set book for the  
ethnographer 
or zoologist 
The Territorial Imperative 
A personal inquiry into the animal origins of 
Property and Nations 
by 
Robert Ardrey 
1966 
1970 The Social Contract 
and then we go to the ethologist 
currently promoting the 
BBC World Service 
Jane (sometime Van Lerwick) Goodall 
study chimps for insights into 
human behaviour 
Chipms can have trisomy like humans have  
Downs Syndrome 
they have it as trisomy three chromosomes 
instead of a pair 
at chromosome 22 
The dailymail,co,uk 
reckon chips with Downs can only survive in captivity 
under human care 
they reckon the only other one died at 2 years old 
go to the Sydney Morning herald... 
chimpanzee mother caring for Down syndrome infant in wild 
can teach us about human behaviour 
2015 
2019 we have The Mirror with a picture of a tiger 
with a deformed face 
and the 'paper' claims 
it isn't Downs 
it was due to incest 
2019  
admittedly leftist fascist 'newspaper' in the UK 
working an angle to say 
Downs is not down to 
trisomy 
it's down to incest 
and that paper may well be 
campaigning against 
antivaxers 
we don't know, we don't care 
we just think it's an out and out miracle that 
the UK media have allowed a bit of space for 
science 
in the current epidenmic 
 
 
  
there was this guy 
Pierre-Joseph Proudhon 
1809 -1865 
he became a member of the  
French Parliament 
after the 1848 
he was the first person to call himself 
an anarchist 
and he was the first to use the phrase 
property is theft 
he worked with Marx 
they fell out 
they spilt  
The International Working Men's Association 
into 
Anarchists and Marxists 
Proudhon's concept of 
anarchism crystalised into today's 
federalism or 
devolution 
in that sense 
Proudhon was for 
small government 
and Marx was for 
centralisation  
the command economy 
the state as a substitute for the church 
we can wind way back in this 
we have said that Christianity established itself in 
teh Roman Empire and not in the Arab tribes where 
it originated 
Ricker has a tendency to 
refer from time to time to 
Irish Catholics 
and 
Roman Catholics 
Roman Catholics are determined to be 
CAtholics because they 
exterminated Irish Catholicism 
way way back 
the evolution was 
Roman Empire 
adopts Christianity 
Roman Empire falls 
Christianity becomes 
as Roman Catholicism 
Soft Power 
often not very soft 
inquisition etc 
for a resurgence for what we may now call 
Italian Influence 
in the world 
colonies around the world were 
Dutch, French, Spanish, Portugese 
British,  
and just a touch of German 
can you name an Italian ex-colony? 
essentially 
every Spanish and Portugese Colony 
was an Italian Colony 
or maore precisely  
a Roman Collony 
and hence the term 
citoyen anarchiste de Barcelon 
and the book and two films 
Papillon 
Papillon is a story about a petty criminal 
'framed' for the murder of a 
Crime Boss 
despite having an alibi 
presumably to protect the real assasin 
he gets transported to 
a French penal colony 
Devil's Island 
and the story gets a bit like 
The Shawshank Redemption 
first movie had Steve McQueen 
we do think it would have been a role for 
Donald Pleasence 
not Steve McQueen 
 however, the character  
the book is by Henri Charriere 
and seems to be a sort of 
fictionalised autobiography 
the author seems to have served two purposes for the 
authorities in France in the first half of the  
20th century 
1 fall guy for an assasin 
2 anti anarchist trophy or hostage 
he was a petty criminal 
the term 
safe cracker 
seems to refer to 
non-violent thief 
burglar  
not 
robber 
 a burglar steals from a place 
a robber steal from a person, in person 
attacks a person in the street  
or as part of a home invasion 
this is the basis of the defence of the burgler 
nobody was using it 
TWOC 
regarding motor vehicle theft 
taking without the owner's consent 
prosecution not able to establish that the thief 
intended to permanently deprive the owner 
of their property
with the barack room lawyer leftist politicians 
regarding it as 
prompted charity 
redistribution of wealth without the need for 
a taxation system 
or a  
Local Labour Party administered taxation system 
 you haven't stolen it if 
you abandon it after you have had a bit of fun with it 
hence 
handling stolen goods 
being a more serious offence than 
theft 
smart chap  
put the  
vulnerable adult 
up to it 
he - Papillon - is not executed but sent to  
Internal exile in Guiana 
a French colony in South America 
and there he gets the description 
citoyene anarchiste de Barcelon 
to make him a more fearsome character  
and/or to say 
Proudhon may be an MP or ex-MP and untouchable 
be we've got one'a them anarchists 
locked up on Devil's Island 
and you could join him  
and not the MP if you don't watch yourself 
 
 
  
we feel the need to further explore the contrast between 
sympatric 
and 
alopatric speciation 
so we will begin with those tits 
we have said that that speciation is  
alopatric 
but some may say it's sympatric 
take a single tree 
a tree that is very tall 
the three types of tit lve on different 
stories - levels - of this tree 
in that sense they do not live in the same space 
that makes it alopatric 
but the roots of that tree are in a single  
geographical location 
and that makes it sympatric 
if the tree is surrounded by trees that are  
not so tall 
those trees will have no coal tits 
the coal tits will be dotted across the landscape 
living wherever the trees are tall enough 
so species separated by 
altitude or elevation  
appear to be separated by location 
genuine sympatric speciation is about 
a randon diversion of characteristics 
say a species lives in one of those benign locations where there are 
more than one ways to skin a cat 
the species is well adapted to 
weather, seasons, shelter, predation threat 
but 
we get an element of that 
Descent of Man 
sexual selection  
we wrote about earlier 
some individuals especially in the likes of birds 
and perhaps collonial insects 
where there is parental care, creshing, sibling assistance 
last years brood help with this year's brood 
a family tradition or preference for something 
a food source or type 
may develop 
taking the insects 
taking bees and wasps 
if the inhabitants of one hive 
start to prefer the nectar of one species of flower 
and the inhabitants or a nearby other hive 
keep leading ech other to 
a different species of flower 
over time 
with clanish loyalty 
within the two hives 
the individuals with mouthparts best suited to the 
family fetish food source 
will domimate in that hive 
and the inhabitants of the two hives will become sufficiently 
distinct 
to be classified as two different species 
that is yer genuine sympatric speciation 
and the same 
actually much more likely 
with the birds and the beaks and the size etc  
of the seeds their family specialise in 
this used to be called 
prey image 
it has a less violent new name that we forget 
if you feed garden birds on 
dred meal worms for weeks on end 
and then you switch to   
something else 
protein pellets? 
the birds will ignore the new food type and search and search  
for the meal worms you are no longer providing 
food looks like a meal worm 
we have to name check Alfie here 
what is the most gannetlike dog in the world 
a black lab 
so when Ricker meets up with Bonzo the Loony dog 
real name Barny 
Ricker give shim one single slice of 
Morrisons chorizo sausage 
sold rather sporadically for a  
piza topping 
so sporadically that at 4 or 5 slices a week 
they get rather hard and dried out over time  
but Barny isn't fooled 
that's his amn and that's his sausage 
BUT 
when Ricker offers the same sausage slices to 
Alfie wot runs 
GPS hardware 
Alfie politely takes it into his mouth 
holds it for a few seconds and 
politely returns it 
on the basis that although it tastes OK 
nothing that hard 
could possibly be food 
must be an offcut from his dad's shop 
however, a slice of the same chorizo 
sliced directly off the same ring 
same sausage but softer 
produces the same demonstration of thanks as 
Barny has for the hard tack 
for the sake of his teeth 
we think Alfie needs to get used to  
chewing not bolting his food 
fat chance with a lab 
5th June 2021 
by the by we will take the opportunity to 
celebrate the contribution of 
Anne and Duncan Bulmer to the development of 
our Ricker 
we will just say 
firstly, in contrast to every other living person 
it seems 
Anna and Duncan regarded our Ricker as trustworthy 
every other person contacting our Ricker  
does a version of Sam's prologue 
'if I want to, I can have you arrested' 
A and D never threatened our Ricker 
and on just the one occasion 
when their daughter - only child - Diane 
see what they did there  
D and Ann - Diane 
when she was about seven years old 
they had him  
as a teenager 
baby sit sit Diane 
she was very good and put herself to bed 
Ricker just watched TV and was there 
just in case... 
so there was a day when Ricker was telling some story about  
Life at Durham 
and he mentined Prebends Bridge 
and Ann said you are saying that very carefully 
it sounds like you are saying pre bens bridge 
do you know it's really 
Prebends' Bridge 
sometimes our Ricker has things to learn 
even from a Primary School teacher 
in all that time Ricker never asked which 
Redcar Primary School 
Mrs. Bulmer taught at... 
a prebend is well here's a problem 
the person is called 
prebandary 
clergyman - or woman we suppose - in receipt of a prebend 
a prebend is the stipend of a canon or  
member of a cathedral chapter 
so why is it called  
Prebends Bridge? 
Prebends Bridge was designed by George Nicholson 
and built between 1772 and 1778 
it was built on the instructions of 
The Dean of Durham 
to serve as a private road for the  
Dean and Chapter of Durham 
giving access from the south through 
 the Watergate 
and erm 
well we said 
Ricker was 'at' St Cuthbert's Society 
Cuth's 
and Cuths is on  
South Bailey 
and Prebends Bridge 
carries the south end of South Bailey 
across the River Wear 
it can be opened to vehicles under 3 tonnes 
but it rarely is 
it happened in autumn 2010 when 
Sadler Street was closed 
We'll do the Bill Bryson 
go there 
South Bailey runs along the short tall side of 
Durham Cathdral 
if you go all the way 
cross the bridge and then down onto the  
river towpath 
you can look up and see 
and perchance photograph 
the most magnificent aspect of 
Durham Cathdral 
BUT 
we are not here for that 
there was a North English version of Greencil 
called  
John Poulson 
but he is forgotten 
this story is about  
Dr Coulson 
he was a lecturer in ecology at Durham 
and 
a few people at Durham 
Peter Evans, Dr Coulson, and 
David Bellamy 
were in demand form 
TV 
to contribute to shows 
according to Dr Coulson 
the pay offered didn't cover expenses 
so  
Either David Bellamy was getting a different deal 
or he was doing it for fun 
and the link between the 
towpath below Prebends Bridge 
and 
Dr Coulson 
was 
one of his practical classes 
the titmice 
chicadees and tits  
form the Paridae 
in Durham they have 
in the trees along the banks of the River Wear 
they have 
three species of tits 
Great tit 
Eurasian blue tit 
Coal tit 
Blue tits are blue, the others aren't 
the trees near Prebends Bridge are 
proper big 
in simple terms 
blue tit - blue, black and yellow 
great tit - black and yellow, no blue 
coal tit - no yellow 
the xercise was 
look at the proper big trees 
divide the height of the trees into three sections 
in your mind 
bottom third 
middle third 
top third 
spend a suitable time - half an hour/ 
count how many of each tit type 
you see in each third of the trees 
and you discover 
alopatric speciation 
we have this idea of 
Rain Forests 
beautiful paradise places of 
endless productivity and protection in which 
as the Bible has it 
The lion lies down with the lamb 
what we are referring to is the idea that 
'The Galapagos Islands' are remote 
and no people and no rats and such live there so without  
predation pressure 
all sorts of types of bird crop up and thrive 
W RONG 
each island has its own species of finch 
and only one species of finch 
it's alopatric speciation 
the three types of tit are adapted to live at 
different hights up a tree 
so if you prune, coppice, pollard the trees in the wood 
all different methods of tree management 
it does not matter how many tree you grow 
or how well they grow 
if they don't grow tall enough 
some species will not have the habitat they need 
Ricker is old and his memory fails but 
probably coal tits need very tall trees 
the experts say 
coal tits need coniferous forests but 
it's just that conifers grow tallest but 
don't tell 'em 
if ignorance is bliss 
'tis folly to be wise 
but word to the wise 
go to a park to see coal tits 
it's unlikely you have a 
 tall enough tree in your back garden 
if you want 
biodiveristy 
you need 
habitat diversity 
not just an absence of human influence 
and another thing 
while we're on 
consider insects and hedgehogs 
hengehogs probaby eat worms but 
 let's say they eat insects 
at at least one stage of their lives 
most insects either fly or are 
windblown 
hedgehogs don't ever fly  
one day our Ricker met one of the many 
brick walls he has encountered in normal conversation 
he was talking to a Ph.D. zoology student 
this guy - you may recall him as the one who got 4 years 
to do his thesis because he had broken his leg 
even though his project was lab based... 
Ricker could not get the concept of 
wildlife corridors 
across to this guy 
and now we see 
goats and deer in town centres because 
CoViD lockdowns 
for a little while removed the need for wildlife corridors 
wldlife that does not fly could 
get places 
get places without wildlife corridors 
number one wildlife corridor? 
don't grub up the hedgerows when 
turning a bunch of fields into 
a housing estate 
 
here's a thought from  
The Labour Playbook of Entitlement 
need some timber for a garden DIY project 
don't go down the timber yard to buy some 
go dismantle some road side fencing 
one of them rich Tories will fix the fence 
eventually 
after somebody has been killed because their vahicle  
hit a straying cow 
 2nd June 2021 
we do feel we are getting way ahead of our selves 
talking about Redcar's new 
cinema on the sands 
because 
McAlpines have only got a handful of  
people working in it and it is due to open next year 
2022 
but let's follow the dream 
we said that back in the day the Daniels family  
ran a cinema in Grangetown 
we hear a lot about 
inequality and deprevation 
but it is always in terms of 
maw monay and jarbs 
if you have a 
white trash police service saying 
nobody who is smart enough to 
run a cinema 
has any right living here... 
because we want this lot 
to ourselves 
to do with as we please 
then that is a formula for 
social stagnation 
whatever you think about police officers 
their authority is 
summary 
there is summary justice and there is we forget the term 
the rule of law as played out in a court of law 
and so 
in the extreme 
we equip the police to be able to 
Taser a person who's next immediate action is  
unpredictable 
and who is not responding to lawful commands 
but we do not empower the police to 
go home, have a think, and then go around to  
someone's house and shoot them dead 
a considered response to a situation is 
above the pay grade 
of any police officer 
the police are empowered to 
secure the scene 
and 
preserve and collect evidence 
they are not empowered to decide 
who is allowed to live in your street 
 
  
we have to declare a rather tangential possible 
conflict of interest 
full transparency... 
our Ricker has to report that his sister has told him that 
the youngest of his three nephews 
an accountant  
works for an accountancy company working for  
some or all of those involved in developing the 
Moderna Vaccine 
  
we are well impressed with all the data emerging from 
this epidemic 
but we do want to put it in context 
all these lab results  
the test and trace 
are a bit like 
suddenly inventing a camera that can 
detect the ultra violet light 
that our eyes cannot see 
if it weren't for the testing 
we would think this was all over 
that is all very well but this confusion over 
mutation versus variant 
is important 
if you have a bit of classical evolutionary theory 
Darwin finches 
Daewin's finches also known as 
Galapagos finches 
are a group of about 18 species of passerine birds 
they are well known for their remakable variety  
diversity 
in beak form and function 
There's someone else you should have read 
David Lack 
his Darwin's Finches is or should be a 
set text  
for zoology students 
broadly 
them all be the same LBJs 
little brown jobs 
but their beaks or bills or mouth parts 
vary according to which of the 
Galapagos Islands 
they live on 
so, see a beak 
say an island name 
this is exactly what we mean by  
corona virus variants 
alpha, beta, gamma, delta 
say a variant name and  
scientists can tell you where that variant evolved 
and so 
around the world there are around  
200 countries 
but 
far fewer  
isolated communities 
like? 
sub Saharan Africa 
cut off from the rest of the world by the desert 
like South America 
scientists know there can only be  
at most a dozen variants of  
CoViD 19 
and so there are 
well enough letters in the Greek alphabet 
to cover the lot 
unless you get a new Galapagos Island 
you won't get a new Darwin's finch 
unless you breed it in an aviary 
we were talking about fruit flies 
AKA vinegar flies 
and using chemicals and gamma radiation to 
produce mutants 
note how 
like Thalidomide 
these chemicals don't create 
subtle changes 
they wipe out the ability of a child to grow arms 
or legs 
a fly to have wings or eyes 
if the DNA sequence is disrupted 
it CANNOT be decoded 
the start, stop and check digits in the sequence will 
block expression 
not allow deviant expression 
evolution does not depend on 
how many mutations there are 
but on having variation that are sufficently  
subtle 
minor 
to slip past the quality control checks  
 
  
mostly, when you move to big school 
a lot of jumbled impressions 
impint themselves on your memory 
we really honestly don't know how schools are managed these days 
but our Ricker was at Coatham in the 1960s 
and worked at Gillbrook in the 1970s 
it seems to our Ricker's memory that 
Gillbrook in the 1970s was 
run by the teachers 
we don't know who runs schools today but we 
have the impression that they are run by 
teaching assistants 
what we can say without doubt is that 
Coatham in the 1960s was run by 
The Prefects 
and the head boy in our Ricker's induction year was 
Headley 
naturally referred to as 
Deadly Headly 
Barker was the head and rarely caned anybody 
corporal punishment was the real of the deputy head 
a chemistry teacher who lived on the Coast Road 
so we have a conflict 
apart from Headley 
the only senior boy whose name Ricker can remember is 
Vasey 
presumably Chubby Brown writes his own biography 
and says he ran away from his home in Grangetown 
not the Sunderland one  
The Eston one 
at the age of 14 
you can say that sort of thing 
without saying 
but I went back within a week 
so we don't know whether  
Coatham's vasey was Roy 
or perhaps a brother or cousin??? 
what we are a lot more certain about is 
Royston Vasey - Roy Chubby Brown 
live in one of these houses in  
  
Corportation Road, in Redcar 
with his second of three wives, Sandra 
to be fair 
there seems little difference between the 
life story of 
Chubby Brown  
and that  
husband of the wonderful 
Debbie McGee 
bright Grangetown lads who went to Coatham Grammar 
in Redcar and these were the lads 
grammar schools were invented for 
Paul Daniels was the husband of Debbie McGee 
son of the cinema operator in Grangetown 
and there's yer typical 
a technocrat moves into a  
working class town 
run a cinema needs skills 
the boys inherit the skills but 
the local white trash police 
see somebody who does not  
fit in 
so they look for excuses to 
run the brains out of town 
we the brains around here 
if we need a light bulb changed 
we'll get a contractor in from London 
true story... 
Mo Mowlam was MP for Redcar and 
secretary of state for Northern Ireland 
so she had bullet proof glass in her windows on 
Newcommen Terrace 
when she stopped being an MP 
the government decided the glass had to go 
without the armed policeman standing at the door 
somebody might 'ave nicked it 
local lads wanted the work 
no 
taking window glass out is a specialist job 
we'll have to send people up from London 
what is really funny is 
Dolland and Aitchison opticians had a  
maintenance contract for all their shops 
The Company was called 
Chadwells 
so 
repaint the shop floor at the Guildford branch 
a couple of lads in a Chadwells van 
with pots of paint and brushes 
proper DIY stuff 
why is it called Chadwells? 
'cos they from Chadwell 'eaf init 
it's like Romford  
like Essex 
 nobody in Surrey with skills  
like what they've got in Essex 
 1st June 2021 
we've had a think 
we recall the question 
what's the crack? 
What's the craic? 
What's happening? 
what's news 
that's Irish 
and so, in the spirit of a word gaining currency 
through multiple routes... 
we can make a case for  
pancrack meaning 
having to attend a meeting in front of a 
panel 
and explain why you need charity 
and this relates to the term 
on the panel 
being in receipt of sickness benefit 
particularly from government 
and so 
rather than a sick note from a doctor 
a person went before a panel of  
worthies and made your case for assiatance 
as opposed to having a right to 
simply sign on 
or perhaps like 
how'd the Boro ger on 
what's the pancrack? 
what news from your appearance before the assistance panel? 
  
Perhaps we could say that some moments in history 
get overlooked 
our Ricker has been struck by the somewhat overlooked 
transition from  
The Wilson Labour government  
to  
The Tory government of Ted Heath 
we see both men as Oxford graduates 
Wilson from a Northern background 
a straight conventional bloke 
Heath a Southern Softie 
Gay, perhaps not actively gay 
if active, in the closet 
and they typify the contrast of 
a Tory who was supposed to be Conservative 
but was socially liberal 
and a Labour leader who was socially conservative 
or traditionalist 
Ted Heath took the UK some way into the 
European Community 
the signal Wilson device that he removed is quite interesting 
Wilson had a tax that was designed to 
in a sense bring back 
pre-war social norms 
we have not got time to research it properly but 
it was called 
SET 
Selective Employment Tax 
employers had to pay the government 
at the time  
Inland Revenue 
and Customs and Excise 
were probably separate 
employers paid a payroll tax 
the first peculiarity of this was that it was 
twice as much for each 
male employee 
as for each female employee 
at first that may be seen as encouraging the employment of women 
but the next bit brings that into question 
because 
Wilson was obsessed with the 
Balance of Payments 
in particualar  
The Balance of Payments in respect of 
Manufactured Goods 
the extraordinary element of this tax was that 
at the end of the financial year 
the tax was refunded to the employer if 
they could show that the employee had been engaged in  
manufacturing 
not 
services 
it was free - at the end of the tax year  
to employ people in factories, mines etc 
but you lost the tax if you were engaged in 
leisure, entertainment, insurance 
office work in general 
so clearly 
if you lost the tax if you weren't 
making  
and thus reducing imports of manufactures 
and increasing export of manufactures 
you lost half as much tax if 
you employed women and not men 
making making a proper job for a  
male head of household 
and offering services a  
pin money passtime for  
girls not yet married 
and so, one assumes, the Wilson gov 
expected investment to flow into 
building factories not offices 
and Ted Heath did away with that 
paving the way for much more investment in 
work opportunities for  
women of all ages 
since 2005 the UK has had 
HM Revenue and Customs 
interestingly?  
the first use of SET came into force in 1777 
when a tax on  
male servants came about 
so butlers and footmen and such were 
a symbol of 
I can afford to pay the tax and employ men 
in my household 
but for revenue purposes 
the tax on male servants was directly linked to 
a carriage tax 
you paid tax to own a carridge 
and tax for having a man to drive it 
whatever may be said about 
rates of tax 
it was after the Second World War that 
many many more people found themselves owing 
income tax 
and PAYE 
Pay As You Earn 
is a withholding tax 
essentially people on a payroll 
never get to see their income tax unless they  
get a rebate 
self employed people have to submit accounts and 
pay their income tax for a particualr year 
by a specified date 
1944 for UK PAYE 
1966 for SET 
the Heath government 1970 - 74 did away with  
SET and Purchase Tax 
and replaced them with 
VAT 
Value Added Tax 
VAT was invented in Germany 
and somewhere else 
and so VAT was communitaire 
in line with EU thinking 
the tax ia paid by the seller 
who recovers it in the price paid by the customer 
a peculiarity of the syatem is that 
for tax purposes 
goods sold by a seller who is not 
VAT registered 
are regarded as  
Second Hand and thus exenpt 
that is the raansaction is exempt 
and the tax is paid by the last 
VAT registered person or entity who  
was involved to the transaction chain 
and now 
for some purposes 
some goods sold through 
ebay 
are regarded as being sold BY ebay 
and ebay has to collect the VAT 
rather than pay it 
this appears to be related to  
sellers in Europe but not VAT registered 
interetingly? 
VAT was raised to compensate for the loss of  
revenue when the Community Charge 
The Poll Tax - was scrapped 
but not reduced on the introduction of 
council tax 
VAT rates have been all over the place 
and some things are presntly at a reduced rate 
domestic energy costs for example 
some at zero 
some transactions fall outside the scope of VAT 
even for registered entities 
it is all very variable 
for instance a short period in 2020 
when VAT was not payable on PPE 
Personal Protective Equipment  
Purchase Tax was from 1944 to VAT 
and some things - fur coats? 
deemed utterly unneccasary 
wer taxed at 100 per cent 
but that was 100 percent of the  
wholesale price or world trade price 
or a tax to encourage exports and  
discourage home sales of things 
the government would rather have seen  
exported 
making exports easier than domestic sales 
so Purchase Tax was a sort of 
import duty 
rather than a sales tax 
Purchase Tax applied when most imports were from 
The north coast of mainland Europe 
Germany. Holland etc 
and not as now from China 
so Wilson was  
lets sell to not buy from Europe 
and Heath was not interested in that distinction 
he just wanted more 
trade 
and it is not clear whether 
if the Wilson concepts had endured 
The North 
would not have become  
Post Industrial 
and London 
would not have prospered as it did in the 
1980s and since 
in the current context 
Northern Men 
are much more comfortable doing 
wimin's work 
office work 
than their grandfathers 
in the past men were asked for their trade when 
applying for the 
pancrack 
British Slang 
Social Security 
especially as paid to the unemployed 
the dole 
1982 Pat Barker Union Street 
She had saved it out of her social secuity money 
 the pancrack as she contemptuously called it 
2012 
Royston Vasey 
sometime of Corportation Road Redcar 
as Roy Chubby Brown 
Rotston Vasety is the real name of 
Chubby Brown and the origin of a 
village name in comedy history 
The League of Gentlemen 
Common as Muck 
I'll go on the pancrack I told the foreman, 
 but when I got to the dole office  
they told me I wouldn't need to sign on 
anyway 
back to the pancrack 
nobody knows where it comes from but 
when you were bankrupt 
you were allowed to keep the tools of your trade 
and 
broken pans used to be mended 
so perhaps , only perhaps,  
an early form of social security was 
funds for the repair of the tools of the trade of 
a bankrupt 
in a sense, help for a worker unable to work 
for lack of tools 
rather than for incompetence or lack of opportunity 
getting back to the point 
early TV variety shows made reference to a person being 
a sagger maker's bottom knocker 
it's a very specific job in the potteries 
a sagger is a protective shield 
to keep individual poys separate in the kiln whilst firing 
but the classic was 
what's yer trade? 
Coronation flag salesman 
in other words 
people who claim to be 
out of work because the job their grandfather had 
no longer exists 
there was some validity to the claim of 
troops returning for the Second World War stating that 
a grateful nation owed these men 
the exact same work opportunities their fathers had had 
and in some ways there is a conflict here between 
The North East of England 
and  
The North West of England 
and London 
essentially, in the Second World War 
women in the North West and London 
switched from factory work in the rag trade - clothing 
no need for new clothes - make do and mend 
to munitions factories 
in the North East 
the work was way too heavy for men 
let alone women 
and instead of the men going to war 
and the women taking their jobs 
as in the North West and London 
the men stayed in their jobs 
in the First World War there were two ways to 
stay out of the forces 
be a conscientious objector 
be in a  
reserved occupation 
if you worked in a caol mine 
a steel works 
a shipyard 
there was no way you could be replaced by 
yer sister 
and to that extent 
men in the North East of England 
took into their minds 
I need a job that will be a reserved occupation 
in the next war 
fighting for the return of what we have called 
brutalising employment 
is a fight for  
exemption from service 
better to die from pneumoconiosis in yer 40s  
than in the trenches in yer teens 
we are now moving from 
a fer of the call up - to the armed forces 
to a resentment at the lack of opportunites to 
go play soldiers 
or as in the Navy... 
travel around the world 
meet interesting people 
and  
kill them 
 31st May 2021 
do you remember the days when 
there were no mobile 'phones and 
you spent your entire holiday 
fretting as to whether you had 
left the gas on? 
we are utterly stunned to see a bit of research on  
the current UK Prime Minister's current and third wife 
that is is some sense serial monogamy 
in the sense of one official wife at a time 
whatever one may say about the taxi driver involved 
this woman woke up after a night out and 
couldn't remember what had happened to her the night before 
and so on the basis of 
whatever it was it wasn't my fault 
she claimed to have been drugged not drunk 
that is all pre-Johnson 
what is somewhat staggering is her own genesis 
Mathew John Symonds has a wife and three children 
his father was John Beavan, Baron Ardwick 
his mother was Anne Symonds 
The baron's wife was Gladys Jones 
Josephine McAfee is not his wife but is the mother of 
his daughter Carrie Symonds 
it all revolves around 
The Guardian Newspaper 
The Independent Newspaper - Symmonds one of three founders 
and the BBC 
those details don't explain why the Johnsons were 
married in Westminster Roman Catholic Cathedral 
but you do see a person - Carrie 
how shall we say , driven by Roman Catholic Guilt 
it's not my fault that I can't remeber what happened in that taxi 
but with guilt comes penance 
here we have the problem 
Roman Catholics believe that their priests can 
do deals with God on their behalf 
and so it appears the deal done in  
the Sugar Daddy House was 
if we all are really thorough with our hand washing 
God will see to it that most of us  
don't get ill with CoViD 
 24th May 2021 
Harry Potter is very popular 
the Ricker has had a thought 
we are bombarded in the media with 
tidal waves of coverage about 
a handful of women who 
come to a sticky end 
that we are distracted from the question 
what sort of person does this 
and 
how do they become serial offenders? 
we are thinking about three offenders 
who fit a pattern and a couple who don't 
the main one who does not fit this theory is 
Fred West 
the others are 
a family doctor, a security guard, a police officer 
a soldier 
when we recruit police officers 
we send them for initial training 
since the 1960s in the UK 
it seems a measure of drill 
marching up and down a parade ground 
has been dropped 
but 
attending initial training seems to be  
seen by recruits as 
attending Hogwarts 
what we are getting at is a law enforcement culture that 
divides people into 
wizards and muggles 
wizards and non-wizards 
and so it is seen 
not least by the likes of 
Police and Crime Commissioners 
as deeply disloyal to suggest that 
any wizard is a Malfoy 
we like the name Draco 
Draco Malfoy 
the original and possibly real Draco 
gave us the word 
Draconian 
in the style of Draco 
and the question  
is it 
draconian or Draconian? 
something named after a person... 
a person's names always begin with a capital letter 
unless they are a self obsessed diva 
what we are saying is 
people who are regarded as 
one of us 
Paul Blart, mall cop - movie reference 
they run around sticking harassment convictions on muggles 
whilst letting wizards build up a massive 
head of steam 
in their offending 
regarding Fred West 
perhaps in Gloucester the role of 
jobbing builder 
does qualify you as a demigod 
you wouldn' fine most cops able to use a screwdriver as 
anything other than a stabbing weapon 
in the mind of the person whose life is 
brute force and ignorance 
there is a line between 
clever - being able to refuel a motor vehicle 
and fenzied manifestation of mental illness 
being able to recover a crashed cop car 
and so 
wizards are cool 
muggles are not to be dismissed as boring 
but 
regarded as demented 
demented meaning 
lacking a mind 
zombies 
threatening the 
zombie apocalypse 
all those mindless bodies out there  
threatening the  
ORDER we learned of at our granny's knee 
and they threaten to turn us to zombies with their 
devilish EDUCATION 
so like the dearly beloved 
Taliban 
burning schools 
say the word 
say chair 
to your smart speaker 
and a chair arrives from China 
non of that spooky 
getting on the tools 
and making a chair 
or having one made in that shed around the corner 
a spell is just something you say to your smart speaker 
Ricker once knew a lad who  
guess what, taught at Gillbrook 
he was a copper's kid 
nobody much will remember 
but the very first TV remote controls were 
sonic not infrared 
and so the kids would be watching kids TV  
and dad cop comes home 
and dad cop know that if he dumps his keys 
in a particular way 
the sound it made would 
change the challel on the TV 
a fanfare for the arrival of 
dumb cop 
this is their personality disorder 
me me me me me 
those ultra sonic TV remotes must have 
driven dogs and other pets crazy 
if you looked at the business end 
there wasn't an LED, there was a metal plate 
  
poiltics is changing 
up until recent decades there were three groups of 
voters in the UK 
Labour, Tory, floating 
similar in the US 
both sides bt mainly The Labour 
saw opposition politics as 
using the media that supported them 
to dig dirt on the private lives of 
members of the government 
these days two developments 
many more floating voters and 
regarding the  
red wall etc 
a sense that 
firstly they want government and so they approve of the 
Fixed Term Parliament Act 
to cut down on the 
'not another one' 
rection to elections 
and more importantly 
the electorate see a party's time in opposition as 
an opportunity to show how much  
better off we would all be 
if they won the next election 
entertained as they are by 
talk of the sex lives of the rich and famous 
that is more and more in the realm of 
entertainers and influencers 
give us Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton 
not Profumo 
those people who were lucky enough to get a 
middling to good grounding in 
biological sciences 
will remember 
drosophila 
the fruit fly 
the people who used to supply secondary school 
science labs 
sold live fruit flies 
you fed them on banana 
the main contractors for Cleveland County Council were 
Phillip Harris, Griffin and George and Macfarlane Robson 
when our Ricker was responsible for an account 
Macfarlane Robson were cheaper for chemicals 
as opposed to apparatus 
so Ricker ordered from MR 
and Harry Hindle noticed that  
Ricker and MR both had Robson in their name 
so he took the chemistry segment out of his responsibilities 
anyway 
drosophila melanogaster 
drosophila has a thing of the current age 
variants 
somebody who obviously knew about drosophila was on TV recently and 
referred to the 'original strain' of corona virus 19 as 
'the wild type' 
now, some clever types - Thomas Hui, South and McVey 
used a camptothecin and a couple of other 
type 1 topoisomerase inhibitors that create 
DNA double strand breaks in rapidly dividing cells 
these tiny little flies are very useful in studying 
the whole mutation scenario 
we have lost patience trying to list the variants of 
drosophila supplied to sixth form biology labs for experiments 
from memory 
do eyes 
two good wings and two crumpled wings 
no wings 
stuff that's easy to see 
we are getting to a point 
the point is the passenger pigeon point 
in your school lab 
lfe in a specimen tube half full of  
squashed banana 
eyes?, wings? 
just get in the way 
it is quite possible that over an academic year 
some variants that the school bought for you to 
cross 
to investigate genetics 
will die out 
when we come to corona virus 
Andrew Pollard 
we started 18 months ago with 
Wild Type Corona virus 19 
there is no longer a lot of it about 
we have a lot of Kent and India and South Africa 
nobody can tell whether the wild type will be 
driven to extinction 
but if any variant can go extinct 
all variants can go extinct 
clearly all variants can go extinct 
the question is 
can they all go extinct in conditions  
we are willing to create? 
 
 
 
  
 24th May 2021 
sometimes this site feels like 
analogies central 
there are places in the world today 
the USA for example 
where guns and amunition are very familiar 
and places such as the UK where they are not 
we will depend today on some idea of 
the structure and function of 
the amunition of firearms 
one of the passtimes of male youth 
is to take over a public convienience 
and stand in a row at the urinals and compete 
to see which of them can get their 
jizz 
highest up the wall 
you gonna be just the right age to  
compete in that contest 
the production, deployment, structure and function of 
cum 
is complex 
women are - sorry - the base model of human kind 
they have ovaries 
very important them ovaries but  
that's it, that's yer lot 
and men have testes, testacles, knackeres 
loads of names - that are the analogue of ovaries 
the male version of ovaries 
testes produce sprem and testosterone 
ovaries produce eggs and oestrogens 
males have two extra bits of kit 
and these bits don't  
hang down loose 
they are  
seminal vesicles 
and the infamous 
prostate glands 
now we digress 
cats 
cats are induced ovulators 
the she cat's baby making gear is like 
a knackered old car 
cats don't have periods 
she cats wander around 
for years on end not shedding as single egg 
then one day 
she gets cornered by a male - a tom 
and if he rapes her  
maybe thre or four times in the space of a few hours 
her baby makes springs into life 
she ovulates and fertilisation and kittens 
and so 
cat sperm need to take with them 
 a packed lunch 
to keep them alive whilst she gets her act together 
that packed lunch is provided by the 
seminal vesicles 
it's what makes the cum creamy 
and the tom does not use a turkey baster 
to get the cum up the alley 
he needs 
propellant 
the propellant is 
pretty much water 
and it comes from the prostate 
newly fired up prostate glans in early to mid teens 
overdo it a bit 
hence the marks on the wall above urinals 
a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle 
what did men ever do for us? 
so consider the lilies of the field 
all they get is 
pollen 
men give women 
the enzymes to relax their birth passage 
and 
immunosupressants to 
stop them chewing up their 
eggs, sperm and embryos 
and so the the maost important message 
we once saw  
possible on 
Live at the Apollo 
a mature female comic 
saying 
as a result of all this porn on the internet 
the young men I date always seem to want to 
come on my face 
I don't need that 
well with a face like a bag of spanners 
she is now paying the price for declining all those 
cum facials 
 22nd May 2021 
please note.. 
this web site offers comment not advice 
we don't fact check 
we certainly don't amend historic posts  
in light of changed  
circumstances and regulations 
it may be that 
Working Tax Credit  
is still available to people who are  
not on Universal Credit
have been narrowed 
we will n0t say that we know the intent of  
Sue Ryder Care 
in staffing their Thirsk shop 
when our Ricker worked there 
BUT 
it is possible that 
an employer does not have the same  
responsibilities in terms of 
National Insurance Contributions 
for an employee working  
less than 16 hours a week 
and so if they have one job and  
can get it shared by two workers 
they don't have to pay National Insurance on either 
and neither qualifies for 
Working Tax Credit 
if this is so it should not be allowed 
incidentally, anybody considering employing our Ricker 
should know he - like a lot of geriatrics  
has a full set of NI contributions and needs pay no more 
neither would an employer be liable 
however, what has happened over the CoViD is that 
essentially The Treasuary has 
slipped out a version of the 
Social Wage 
under the guise of 
Furleau 
the next step is a trial of a Social Wage 
in Wales 
strange how since the days of Thatcher 
Wales now has from Scotland the sub-title 
The Testing Ground 
to sum up 
as a sop to the extreme right wing of UK politics 
working less than 16 hours a week 
used to be regarded as 
economically inactive 
furleau has not ushered in Armageddon 
and so steps towards a social wage have been made 
experiments with a social wage in Scandinavia were 
deemed a failure in that they did not lead to 
recipients transitioning to 
paid employment 
in the future this test of success may be dropped 
in some sense 
making munitions for the armed forces that will be stored for a while 
and then destroyed 
has been seen as  
gainful employment 
but 
making cheap jewelrey out of scrap 
whilst on benfits 
has been seen as  
potential fraud 
working and claiming 
 21st May 2021 
  
there's this guy 
some Dave Robson 
write for  
Teesside Live 
this was 14th May 2013 
it's an issue that has rocked Redcar 
In June 2000 
Lord Zetland 
revelaed to the Getwet his dream of the futre of  
horse racing n Redcar 
sport of kings 
the racing in Redcar is 
flatracing of thoroughbreds 
this is because it evolved out of  
races on Coatham sands 
it took to the turf in around  
1872 and it hasn't moved since 
now we need to put in some un-factchecked background here 
if you look through the fence on  
West Dyke Road 
there is a swathe of green - grass 
outside 
the north end turn 
the north end turn was moved 
one trackwidth towards the infield  
by - here's where we are not factchecking 
some cove called Hetherington 
once the henchman of that guy from Yuill homes 
our Ricker met in Thirsk 
and now the henchman of the bloke behind 
Hartlepool scrap dealer - Able UK 
he planned to give Lord Zetland some coin by building some sort of  
condo - condominium - on the old track bed 
Lord Zetland owned Redcar racecourse and 
537 acres at the top  of Yearby Bank 
at Dunsdale 
perhaps Lord Z didn't think Hetherington was thinking big enough 
Lord Z's idea was to 
move Redcar races to Dunsdale 
and build Yuills - houses 
all over Redcar racecourse 
and  
The Man from Del Monte - our Ricker 
say no 
Ricker say 
build the new course first and then apply for planning permission to trash  
150 years of tradition 
and a tourist attraction within 
spitting distance of those 
fabled direct trains - Redcar to London and back 
faced with the up front of building the new course 
project died and Mr H went into the scrap business 
 
  
entirely without permission we are now going to 
tell the story of 
Derek Douglas 
the first bit is a bit vague 
we will assert that he worked for 
Cleveland County Council 
we will suggest that at first he worked as a 
meat inspector or food hygiene inspector 
we cannot say why he stopped doin that but he 
retrained as a secondary school biology teacher 
proper teacher training - wrote a book on 
tessellations? 
perhaps it was just a thesis 
valuable member of staff 
at Gillbrook 
played the piano at school assemblies 
not a bad bloke all around 
had a household consisting of himself 
his stay at home wife, their son and their daughter 
and his mother 
he ran a coupe of old cars including a Hilman Imp 
so 
when Eston Grammar School was disbanded and 
Gillbrook Secondary established in the building 
he arrives as a scale 1 science teacher and 
Mr Stark leaves to teach at the newly formed 
sixth form college 
and Janet Stark remains as head of biology at Gillbrook 
and Janet Stark leaves her husband and kids  
and after renting in 
Great Ayton 
buys a cottage on Stokesley Market Place 
and then 
Harry Hindle the head - makes Derek up to 
Scale 2 
BECAUSE HE NEEDS THE MONEY to support his family 
and Janet leaves to train as a social worker 
so it is that we are sooo frustrated that 
one of these Tory governments  
did away with 
Working Tax Credits 
with working tax credits 
Derek could have had the money he needed 
without being given the 
devisive, disruptive PROMOTION 
 20th May 2021 
do you know what a TIC is? 
there was a time when our Ricker was  
doing a teacher in Higher Education course 
aside from his teaching 
he had one a week classes as a student on the course 
there was this one woman fellow student... 
every week when we arrived we were told 
she had had another promotion 
or more precisely 
another change of title 
what we are proposing is 
do your PhD prepare your lecture series 
and then  
act like a song writer who was a 
one hit wonder 
and  
not Noddy Holder, he had loads of hits 
sit back on the Royalties 
for the rest of your life 
and let the female students get on with 
copping a dose of a 
Nobel Prize Winner or an Olympic Champion 
 
we are plagued with the two people who are always 
at the hed of the queue for jobs in universities 
1 I didn't come well out of my divorce 
2 I've got kids 
back in the long gone days of 
men at work 
the open plan office was developed 
and then came the wimin 
and then came  
the cubicles 
whether it is inate or learned 
women strive to be a 
matriarch 
they expect to control a home 
and they expect to have a home from home at work 
Ricker has watched a woman receptionist 
spend the first 90 minutes of a two hour shift 
re-arranging a reception desk to HER design 
you may expect that if a university department has 
four professors 
it will have two readers 
a reader is a lecturer who's qualifiations come from 
another university 
eight senior lecturers 
twenty lecturers 
that would be how a school would be organised 
in a university 
there may be 4 professors 
zero readers 
6 senior lectureres 
a TIC is an HOD with no D 
literally 
a TIC is a teacher in charge 
and HOD is a Head of Department 
so in a univerity 
at least one Professor has to be 
Head of Department 
and therefore not teaching 
and then there are 
Visiting Professors 
somebody from abroad 
who needs a rest cure 
and Professors Emeritus 
a professor has a chair 
a professorship may have a name 
The Lucasian Professorship of Naval gazing 
when you fund a professorship do you 
1 think you are promoting intelectual endeavour 
2 saving the next generation of women from 
unneccessary cosmetic surgery 
 
and when there are no men 
gymnastics for example 
how much more difficult to get a 
conviction for harassment 
when there are no  
gender issues 
a whole  
law enforcement/media industry  
based on  
presenting 
gender conflicts as 
sexual assault 
to get the groundlings' juices running 
finds itself a bit stuck 
trying to make money out of an 
all female institution 
  
every common soldier carries a 
Field Marshal's Batton in his knapsack 
every woman in academia has a 
Queen of the World 
award on the front of her desk 
and so the universities say 
we've given this woman this job because 
she came out of her divorce badly 
or this person who has lots of kids 
and so we will create  protective bubble around them 
but the bubble becomes a 
glass ceiling 
and nobody can be hired to the department who would 
endanger their mental health by triggering their 
imposter syndrome 
in other words 
dole with dignity jobs 
have to be  
management jobs 
fully funded to retirement  
tenure 
so that the incumbant is 
never put under any sort of pressure 
an Emeritus Professorship is an honour 
a title 
like a Damehood 
and so our Ricker would never feel 
safe 
in any building or forum  that 
Janice Webster  or Ron Douglas had access to 
 
 19th May 2021 
it is quite interesting that 
politicians are past masters at 
not answering the question 
this seems to be breaking down to some extent 
a distinction is emerging between 
not answering questions about their own brief 
and 
answering questions about other ministers' briefs 
  
on a similar but different tack 
these people who have  
dole with dignity posts within universities 
you can allow a tutor to tell  
students of automotive engineering that 
the moon is made of green cheese 
but you can't allow them to tell students that 
cars don't need brakes 
speedway bikes don't have brakes 
it is a part of their 
psychological therapy not to tell them tO 
zip it 
or  
shut the fuck up 
there are two things goin on there 
allowing university dons to spread misinformation 
and 
taking a comment out of context 
should you never ever tell anybody who is not 
a speedway rider or speedway mechanic that 
speedway bikes have not brakes? 
just for fear the comment will be taken  
out of context? 
 18th May 2021 
  
sometimes we think we are  
pitted against nature 
sometimes we see nature pitted against itself 
this kelp frond settled on quite a small 
rock or large pobble 
and it was washed ashore before it got big 
  
  
  
these fronds settled their 
holdfasts 
on the sea bed 
and they grew big and strong over quite a time 
but eventually the sea parted them from the seabed 
and they washed up too
   
sometimes we think we are  
pitted against nature 
sometimes we see nature pitted against itself 
this kelp frond settled on quite a small 
rock or large pobble 
and it was washed ashore before it got big 
  
  
  
these fronds settled their 
holdfasts 
on the sea bed 
and they grew big and strong over quite a time 
but eventually the sea parted them from the seabed 
and they washed up too 
 
  
we don't know whether  
Ex-footballer Ian Wright 
had a white step father 
but if he didn't and complains about 
being bullied by his father 
he seems to be suggesting that 
the fact that a predominantly white society 
failed him by not protecting him from his 
same race father and that 
respect for minority ethnic values 
constitutes white racism 
there was a song of some popularity some time ago 
what we need is a great big melting pot 
big enough, big enough to take the world and all it's got 
keeo it striiring a a hndred years or more 
and turn out coffee coloured people by the score 
minority people sent out a mixed message 
do they want help to integrate 
do the young ones want protection from their 
traditionalist elders 
or do they want 
apartheid 
where every function in society is 
duplicated for each minority group/ 
 16th May 2021 
Today's effort may have significant consequences 
specifically for the cosmetics industry 
perhaps not 
perhaps they know all about this alrady 
our Ricker bears some significant 
resentment 
not hostility but saddness and frustration 
towards his late mother and 
the society in which she grew up 
simply put 
Ricker believes that 
he would not have been a  
forceps birth 
if his mother had had more sex 
before and whilst she was pregnant 
there are lots of things in  
semen, spunk, cum 
including sperm 
Ricker knows about one thing 
the main enzyme in semen 
the main one 
that has a very significant bearing on  
childbirth 
it's called 
fibrolysin 
fibre lysin 
fibre cutter or remover 
we need to back track here 
it has a half life of 
24 hours 
needs to be FRESH 
it attacks and inactivates 
fibrin molecules 
the function of this enzyme is to 
stop or reverse 
clotting of the cum 
so that it can flow freely 
when extracted from  
cattle 
it can be made up into a cream 
and as such is marketed by 
Pfizer 
as 
Fibrolan 
not currently in the USA 
it assists with the healing of minor burns, 
 superficial wounds, ulcers surgical wounds and bruises 
its function in spunk 
is to  
work with vaginal stretching 
to make it permanent 
with penetration prepare the  
birth canal for childbirth 
in theory 
you could have semen injected past the hymen 
via a very narrow tube 
and get pregnant and 
give birth by C section 
and remain virgo intacta 
but why? 
when you are born 
each apir of eyelids must be seaparated 
perhaps before birth 
but across the piece 
physical interventions are needed to complete development 
 15th May 2021 
  
  
from tme to time we get an item on TV about not using 
peat 
for anything 
and as it happens 
our Ricker has been experimenting 
here we have a pile of 
spent coffee grounds 
and a pot of plants 
grown in spent coffee grounds 
seems to work 
and you 
DON'T need to spread bales and bales of peat 
on your lawn 
we will now consider two 
couples at uni 
janet and somebody 
and Richard and Jane 
in the couple  
Janet and somebody 
perhaps Janet was showing signs of 
self assertion and so 
her husband to be was given a 
way better degree than her 
to cement her dependence on him 
Richard was way clever 
and Jane was well connected 
in this case 
the reverse 
Jane gets a 2:1 good but not exceptional 
and Richard gets a third 
setting aside the thought 
a third makes Richard dependent on 
the university for future employment 
the arangement has the potentil to give 
the rich girl the upper hand over the 
poor genius 
what we are positing is a propensity for 
universities to engage in 
social engineering 
not simple straight academic teaching but also 
life lessons 
we have the power 
the power to fuch you 
you excessively young people 
we experience every day the
parallel universe nature of 
society versus nature 
what's the point of being rich if you can't 
spend your money 
arrangng the planet to your liking? 
and so regarding the line 
Charles Clore bought his son a chemistry set for christmas 
ICI 
if rich people want to set off  
night light powered baloons... 
 and any moorland fires they cause will be on their moors 
why should it be made illegal? 
then we get granular 
Lewis Hamolton's annual encounter in Australia 
get a ticket for 
driving a car whilst black 
and so 
want to play with drones? 
get in the landy and drive a few miles across the estate 
so that a law saying  
you can't fly a drone within a mile of a house 
won't apply to you actions 
even though in pursuit of 
universality and equality it applies to you 
as an 'ordinary' guy 
and so after a few 
crash for cash 
equivalent 
who will rid us of this trublent scientist? 
incidents 
specifically the Caroline in back seat incident 
Ricker comes to the conclusion 
I can't have a partner because 
despite all these being very pretty girls 
I don't want one of them to 
go with me if 
I get 'suicided' 
that's the altruism 
the self preservation is 
f I use public transport 
I'll take dozens if not hundreds of people with me 
so they probably won't do it 
this is the 
Gove -Turin axis 
Gove more recently said 
we've had enough of experts 
after the Second World War 
the establishment had 
had the best of the scientific community 
and drove the code breaker Alan Turin to suicide 
as a signal to scientists that it was 
time for the labdowning classes to resume control of 
the country and the planet 
 14th May 2021 
it is a little difficult to discuss religion without 
getting too close 
wewant to start here by referencing a  
vox pop 
voice of the people 
clip, recently broadcast 
I don't fear CoViD 
I fear God 
our problem with this is 
you don't appear to fear 
The Living God 
you appear to fear the God of the Scriptures 
we will stop trying to remember how to spell 
Pentaetuch 
and refer to the  
Religions of the Five Books 
in the world today there are three main religions of 
The Five Books 
they are Judeism, Christianity and Islam 
the first of the Fve Books is 
Genesis 
the others are 
Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deutaronomy 
the Jews refer to this colletion as 
The Torah 
in the History of 
Occidental Religions 
that is not Shinto, Buddhism, those Oriental religions 
in the modern world 
Occidental Religions arose in what is sometimes referred to as 
The Middle East 
First came Jeudeism 
a reaction against  
Egypt 
and the ancient religions of Egypt 
and Exodus is about the flight from Egypt 
and Christianity  
memorialised in 
The New Testament 
signals a two edged sword 
it says 
God is Love 
Love thy neighbour as thy self 
the problem is 
it's not a set of rules 
it's an instruction to 
figure things out for yourself 
against a background of  
fundamental 
not 
detailed 
beliefs 
and it was a religion for  
one tribe 
one of the Arab tribes 
The Jews 
and over time 
instead of spreading to 
the other tribes 
it spread to 
The Roman Empire 
and it evolved 
from the earliest days 
not in debate with other Arab tribes 
but in conflict with the Roman authorities 
and so 
Islam is derived from Jeudaism 
bypassing Christianity 
the challenge of 
interpreting scripture has been 
flunked 
now we want to step on quite a long way 
to Darwin 
clearly a Christian with 
problems reconciling  
the observed natural world 
with  
scripture 
in 1871 he published a book called 
The Descent of Man 
but wth the full title 
The Descent of Man, and selection in 
relation to Sex 
it is about  
well we shall say it is about 
how, in essence, a point was reached where 
evolution was driven  
not by  
Natural Selection 
or Survival of the fittest 
but by 
fashion 
a flat face became fashionalble in 
China 
people evolved flat faces 
peacocks 
no way that huge easy to spot 
hunk of turkey 
was best fitted for anything but 
impressing the ladies 
and then there was  
Jacob Bronowski 
and he decided to entitle his book and TV series 
The Ascent of Man long before that was 
Merlin and King Arthur 
and  
The Sword in the Stone 
we bring The Ascent of Man and 
the sword in the stone together today 
the story is 
there was ths sword stuck in a stone 
and in an echo of  
David and Goliath 
the weedy little kid was the only person 
able to remove the sword from the stone 
in a phrase 
knack over brute force and ignorance 
but, if we step back 
if we consider  
making a sword out of a stone 
rather than 
pulling a sword from a stone... 
we are actually thinking  
Merlin and his side-kick Arthur 
developing a process for 
smelting iron from iron ore 
as an aside 
people knew about iron and used it 
before smelting was invented because 
some  
meteorites are made of iron 
and daggers were made from forged meteorites 
a sword from a stone 
not a sword from a gift from heaven 
and in the Ascent of Man 
Bronowski describes the  
ritual 
by which 
for a better term 
Chinese 
priests 
converted iron 
into a much better sword than a 
ground down bit of meteroite would ever be
successful process 
based on  
zero understanding of 
chemistry and metalurgy 
and essentially 
wars such as the First and Second world wars 
and mass production of armaments 
reliable armaments 
driving people to cut the 
fancy dress crap 
and get the process down to a t 
by understanding it 
there is a suggestion the down to a t means  
down to a title 
in other words 
something so well understood in detail that 
it only needs to be referred to 
not constantly re-explained   
 13th May 2021 
we are as guilty as anybody of 
thinking in siloes at tme 
not thinking outside the box 
we want give 1974 in the UK 
a bit more consideration 
this requires consideration of  
three UK Prime Ministers 
Harold Wilson 
Ted Heath 
Jim Calaghan 
essentially Wilson started out 
from Oxford University 
through many jobs in National Politics 
to be PM during a time of 
Post War boom - the swinging sixties 
the 70s were not as bad as the 
20s or 30s but the 
60s and the 80s were a lot better than the 70s 
Wilson was Labour 
he lost an election to the Tory Ted Heath in around 1970 
and Heath was from Oxford and  
was in that Liberal Virtue Signaling tradtion 
at the beginning of the 1970s he set about  
shall we say 
amalgamating Local Authorities 
bundling groups of little local authorities into 
bigger units for economy of scale etc. 
the thing that hit was 
not a slump but the end of a boom 
we refer fromtime to time to the difference between 
poverty and inequality 
in a sense The British got soft 
the problem was characterised as a 
balance of payments crisis 
instead of making things we began to import them 
spending as a nation more than we earned 
this was allied to the switch from 
gas derived from coal - town gas 
to gas taken direct from the rocks 
North Sea Natural Gas 
this put demand for coal under severe stress and 
by 1974 there was a miners strike 
and all that move to the middle 
move from one national governmet and a myriad of 
parish councils 
to County Boroughs and Metropolitan Authorities 
no longer looked - in the current term 
sufficiently 
granular 
there have never been any coal mines on Teesside 
but when faced with the likes of 
The Battle of Orgrieve 
police versus miners 
it became attractive to have some - industrial - areas 
have a very different kind of policing from other areas 
and hence British Steel were not lone actors in wanting to see 
Cleveland Police hived off from North Yorkshire Police 
some areas to have a paramilitary - Northern Ireland style  
police force 
the battle of Orgrieve happen in 1984 not 1974 
so there was a decade of rising tensions 
and Orgreave was a Britush Steel Corporation 
plant for turning coal into coke 
a coking plant or coke works 
to return to the beginning 
Wilson from Oxford succeded by Heath from Oxford 
as the 70s unfolded The Labour could just about  
hold a majority in parliament 
but Wilson got fed up 
famous quote, unverified?, to his wife 
nar Mary, listen to this 
relaying yet another jackass comment from amongst the 
herding of cats 
his job had become 
and so he resigned 
and throwing his hands in the air 
The Labour Party throwing their collective hands in the air 
they elected, appointed, Jim Calaghan 
to lead the Labour Governemt 
the only person to have been 
Chancellor of the Exchecquer, Foreign Secretary and Home Secretary 
before becoming Prime Minister 
but having had 
NO Higher Education 
not been to any uni. let alone Oxford 
a plague on all your houses 
a washing of hands by the elite 
 12th May 2021 
we now have steel above the hoarding level 
on the Cinema on the Sands project 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
we found a list of Police Services or Forces in the UK 
it doesn't include 
Cleveland Police 
approximately 
Cleveland Police has 1,274 officers  
most will be full time but this may be the 
full time equivalent number 
on th list this puts Cleveland between 
Gwent at 1,311 
and Northumbria at 1,272 
it polices 585 square kilometers 
and around half a million people 
it was formed in 1974 
by removing it from 
North Yorkshire Police 
North Yorkshire has 3,155 officers 
West Yorkshire has 5,342 
South Yorkshire has 2,447 
The Health and Safety at Work Act 
HASAWA 
came into force in 
1974 
there seems no reason why  
Cleveland Police was crated 
in the sense that 
North Yorkshire 
was not over large 
it is interesting that 
Cleveland Police's first headquarters was 
the former steel industry offices on 
Ladgate Lane 
could it be that British Steel said 
end HASAWA supervision from 
Northallerton 
and we will gove you a free office complex 
change boundaries at no cost to the public purse 
turning Teesside into a sort of 
gulag 
with company not publicly controlled police 
and treatng  
union leaders and councilors 
like 
trusties  
in a prison camp 
 
 10th May 2021 
there is at least one person from the military 
permanently posted to 
Sugardaddy House 
10 Downing Street 
can we use the troops for this 
can we use the troops for this 
can we use the troops for this 
AND
they used military people for 
testing 
track and trace 
and it was SUCH a fuck up 
they actually managed to keep 
the miltary 
for the most part 
out of the vaccination programme 
and behold 
something 'government' actually worked  
our Ricker's having another of his flashbacks 
this is about a reunion for Teesside BAYS 
British Association Young Scientists 
so it would have been the early 1970s 
this was drinks at 
The Highfield on Marton Road in Middlesbrough 
and Ricker had taken Mark Jordan in his car 
so although the idea was not then known 
Ricker was the 
Designated Driver 
so when Mark asked him what he wanted  
Ricker said 
a tonic and bitters 
and Graham Frank was there 
his parents ran 
The Mermaid in Marske-by-the-Sea 
so Mark comes back from the bar and hands Ricker 
a tonic and  half of bitter 
and weel it was only a half 
and Graham said 
you should have asked for a 
pink tonic - the barman would have given you a 
tonic and bitters 
so it was only a half so Ricker drank both drinks he was given 
then Caroline asked 
could you run me home? 
Hartlepool 
OK 
so Ricker and Mark and Caroline in the back seat 
this was mid 1970s and the car was a 
1970 Triumph 2000 estate 
leather seats 90 horse power engine... 
OK thye set off for Hartlepool and they are 
on a dual carriageway in Billingham 
and this plain clothes blond in an unmarked Ford Escort 
attempts a 
hard stop on them 
and she reverses her passenger window up to Ricker's drivers window 
and it transpires 
she's a police officer 
who was on 
Social Duty in The Highfield 
and she thought Ricker had drunk 
a gin and tonic and a pint 
and it took her all the way to Billingham to catch them up 
bunch of fuckin' arse 'oles cops 
so the cop winds down her window and looks at Ricker 
then she looks into the back seat 
and there's Caroline looking for all the world like 
Princess Ann 
and she just naffs off 
young Mark was in need of the facilities 
by the time  
well, well before the time 
they reached Hartlepool 
it's a sort of version of 
The Emperor's new Clothes>BR>
it's just to frigtening to think 
that the police are bunch of  
drink and drugs addled fuck wits 
so we set them beyond reproach 
 9th May 2021 
we've done just a little more research into this 
1579 
New Albion 
Sir Francis Drake claims 
what is now  
Point Reyes 
about half way up the 
Calfornia coast in the USA 
for Queen Eizabeth the First 
and names it 
New Albion 
and thepeople who always want to put a  
positive spin on everything.... 
suggest that 
Albion 
was to the Romans 
the land 
beyond The White Cliffs of Dover 
even the Romans knew that the White Cliffs of Dover 
make up a very very small proportion of the coastline of 
The British Isles 
but choose your own explanation  
one of the results of being retired 
and demented 
is that things pop up into your mind from the past 
at the present moment 
Ricker is remembering his reaction to being a student 
at Newcastle-upon-Tyne medical school 
and he and his class mates being required to 
descend to the basement 
to use a service corridor 
when moving from one side of the building to the other 
a couple of the tutors had  
TD 
listed as part of the  
letters after their names 
it could have meant member of the Irish Parliament 
but it actually stood for 
Territorial Distinction 
these people were in the Territorial Army 
Army Volunteers 
and part of Ricker's reasoning for leaving was 
life's too short for this sort of time wasting 
hierarchy and tradition and ritual 
just sayin' 
Sliding Doors 
and incidentally 
in the service clossets on that corridor were 
plackards reading 
Thatcher 
milk snatcher 
something to do with Margret Thatcher  
ending free school milk 
she said 
there is no such thing as society 
only family 
we see a lot of that from South Asia 
and quite a bit from the USA right now 
Ricker knew he was ill 
he didn't want to be rich like his brothers 
he wanted to know what was wrong with him and 
he found medical science fascinating 
but he wasn't driven to 
help other people 
most of the people who need help from the NHS 
need it because they refuse to  
follow advice 
try to advise a person from a sink estate 
about how to look after themselves and  
they will ask 
are you saying I'm stupid? 
chippy 
a chip on their sholder 
sometimes you just say 
life's too short...to.... 
whatever 
amongst the things our Ricker 
allowed to pass him by was 
learning The Galic 
French, Latin studied to O level 
not The Galic 
sometimes you just say 
life's too short...to.... 
whatever 
one of our Ricker's grandads   
died 4 years before Ricker was born 
William Robson 1863 - 1948 
and his dad was Thomas William Robson 
Mary Eleanor Moorhead 1866 - 1928 
and amongst other sprogs she had a daughter 
Janet Isobel Robson - Jenny 
by the bye she married John Clough 
the brother of Joe Clough 
the father of 
Old Big 'ead 
The Damned United 
Brian Clough 
so we know Jenny died in 1947 
but we don't know when John Clough 
died or otherwise separated from  
Auntie Jenny 
so far as we know 
Auntie Jenny and Grannie Moorhead 
lived in grandad's house in Haverton Hill 
and the family were not a paragon of 
Victorian or Edwardian virtue 
we are confused as to which generation these two women belonged 
that is 
was that 'Granny Moorhead'  
or was 'Granny Moorhead's mother'
whatever 
Autie Jenny died in grandad William's house 
and she had spent many years in a chair 
by the fireside 
and the undertakers had to remove the front room window 
to get her body out of the house 
when she died 
a large lady 
not the subject of this little tale 
Granny Moorhead 
as we said probably the one 1866 - 1928 
'had only The Galic' 
she did not speak English 
and so to Scotland 
Scotland as a word derives from a 
rather unflattering term the Romans had for 
them north of the wall 
Hadrian's Wall 
and all these layers of history since then 
we have  
BBC Alba 
a television channel broadcast in Galic 
so there are questions about the choice of 
 Alba 
as the name of anything 
it used to be a trade name for the likes of television sets 
however a galic speaker may pronounce Alba 
Plymouth Albion 
West Bromwich Albion 
Albion is an alternative for Britain 
Alba is some sort of reference to Scotland 
and albino relates to having no pigment 
being devoid of colour - totally white 
and so the now abandoned term 
Albion 
may have referred to 
the place where the white people live 
so to choose Alba 
as the name for a political party pursuing 
National Independence 
could be construed as  
racist 
 Albion Rovers is is a semi-professional soccer club 
based in Coatbridge, Lanarkshire 
 8th May 2021 
The simple take away from the recent elections 
in Great Britain 
note because there - by fluke - were no 
contests in Northern Ireland 
we can say Great Britin and  
have the option of not saying 
the UK 
the take away is 
in times of peril 
voters have gone with the concept 
hold on tight to nurse 
for fear of something worse 
in other terms 
don't swap horses in mid stream 
Scotland stays Scottish National 
Wales stays Labour 
England stays Tory 
 
to us Wales is a mystery 
we have a Labour leader who  
repeats everything he says in 
both English and Welsh 
as if he were the leader of the  
Welsh Nationalists 
what is the significance  
in British politics of the number 
5 million? 
it is the population of 
Yorkshire 
it is also the population of 
Scotland 
however, the population of  
Wales 
is 
3 million 
on top of that 
Wales appears to be three countries 
perhaps two 
in political terms 
Wales appears to be 
a small country with a  
huge lake in the middle 
there are labour people in the  
North East 
and Labour people on the  
South Coast 
and htes people are 
what shall we say 
4th or 5th generation immigrants 
attracted by jobs in heavy industry 
it is on the surface such a contrast to 
other immigrant communities 
these pseudo Welsh 
present themselves as 
fiercely and proudly Welsh 
whereas most other immigrant communities 
celebrate their cultural roots 
a apst leader of the Welsh Nationalists has 
just lost her seat 
we are here entirely talking about seats in 
the Welsh Assembly 
not the British parliament in London 
she has just lost her seat and she 
struggled to learn Welsh when 
she frst became leader of the Nationalists 
 
hearing the Welsh Labour leader 
prattle on in Welsh 
seems to the outsider as though he is 
mocking the locals 
in broad terms 
we can characterise North and South Wales as 
Post Industrial 
we are aware that the immigrants are 
crowded into a small percentage of the  
land area of Wales 
perhaps they are feeling timid about 
spreadng out into the hills and mountains 
and speak Welsh to cement their right so to do 
 
Scotland is a different matter 
we need a bit of European Geopolitical History here 
we forget that 
Great Britain, France, Holland (the Dutch), 
 Portugal and Spain 
were the nations that had  
Global Empires 
we forget that 
although there were many German 
settlers or immigrants in  
North America 
and Africa 
Germany never ever had 
much in the way of a global empire 
and much of European Geopolitics revolved round 
Roman Catholic or Protestant 
hence William of Orange as British Monarch 
and to some extent the present 
British Monarchy of German origin 
The British have chosen  
Protestant and foreign  
Heads of State 
to be 
neutral referees 
rather than  
Leaders 
such as Napolean 
and so  
Scotalnd has aligned with France 
and Ireland with Germany 
in the no longer so recent past 
 
the whole thing about  
Scottish Independence 
revolves around 
Teretorial Waters 
we speak now of  
fishing waters 
but in the recent past 
fishing waters overlaid 
oil and gas reserves 
Scotland saw England 
extracting fossil fuels from a sea bed that 
could be Scottish 
if Scotland were independent 
but North Sea oil and gas 
were bound to run out 
it was always going to be 
boom and bust 
all the English had to do was 
play for time 
retain control of Scotland until the 
oil and gas ran out 
fifty years ago - perhaps a little longer 
there were two cities in Scotland 
Edinburgh and Glasgow 
in the lowlands 
now there are three 
Edunburgh, Glasgow and 
Aberdeen 
and Scotland has a situaton where 
Aberdeen has supplanted  
Dundee 
on the East Coast of Scotland 
and what can we say? 
Aberdeen was never 
a centre of brutalising 
dangerous, polluting industry 
it was always a dormitory and  
bulk port 
for activities happening way out at sea 
we can say 
Aberdeen financial capital of Scotland 
Edinburgh cultural capital of Scotland 
Glasgow? post industrial relic 
the people of Scotland are not 
immigrants 
not third or 4th generation immigrants 
not 10th generation immigrants 
they are the 
First Nations people of Scotland 
in the vast majority 
and their nationalism  
of all the nationalisms in The UK 
is the most racist 
now it is not 
independence for the oil revenues 
it is now 
independence to 
keep the chattering classes of North London 
out 
 
 
  
perhaps we should round off this summary by 
considering 
Churchill, The Black Dog, University Towns 
and chattering 
Churchill's Black Dog was  
his depression 
and clearly we may say 
we could analyse him as a candidate for  
a diagnosis or bipolar or 
manic depression 
the point is 
beats working for a living 
Churchill went in for a bit of painting 
a bit of bricklaying - hard landscaping in the garden 
when you  
make decisions for a living 
there is some tendency to  
often not have anything to 
show for your efforts 
he laboured mightily 
and brough forth  
a mouse 
in a sense 
in a factory 
your efforts either go 
to despatch 
or 
to the recycling 
you won't stay for long 
if all your efforts end up in the recycling 
the whole idea of 
education 
from a family perspective is to 
get a white collar 
preferably salaried career 
a context in which 
your intangible output 
is neither sent ot 
despatch nor recycling 
upside you keep your job 
downside you never have anything to 
show for your efforts 
and so  
university  towns are all for 
a social wage 
tenure 
getting paid whatever 
and to distract 
the displacement activity 
is to make ritual sacrifice of the occalsional coleague 
who has broken some unwritten 
code of etiquette 
a way to unstabel concept for the 
solid reliable Scotts 
  
we'll put down a couple of markers here 
The 'Weslsh Nationalists' 
Meibion Glyndwr 
?? people of Glendower?? 
set fire to homes owned as second homes 
by people working and living 
Monday to Friday 
in England 
between 
1979 and the mid 1990s 
sometimes you just can't win 
take rashoning 
in the Second World War 
food was rationed 
so you didn't visit anybody or anywhere 
without taking your food with you 
as people visiting the likes of Wales 
took their food with them 
and got grief for not 
buying it in local shops 
food galore in Wales 
come and buy some 
off ration 
no thanks  
that's illegal 
during World War 2 
around 110,000 children were evacuated to Wales 
some were from London 
some were from the industrial 
South Wales Coast 
so this was how the 
Rich street urchins of London and the South East 
learned about the existance of Wales 
and in time they got proper jobs and 
bought homes that 
the forestry workers and game keepers 
of 
La Wales Profonde 
as in la France Profonde 
couldn't be arsed to tart up 
 France Profonde 
a zone - most of - France that 
'escapes the dominant ideologies of the  
hegemony 
of Paris 
Deep France is seen as  
profoundly localistin outlook 
and to be receding in the face of 
international mass culture 
 6th May 2021 
we will make a note here about the 
Hartlepool parliamentary election 
the wimin's candidate - 140 votes 
Killick, the guy they tried to ban 
because he photographed a woman 
248 votes 
 
there should be a lesson here 
people are not willing to  
waste their votes by  
using them in petty 
playgound clan disputes over gender 
and overwhelmingly voted for a woman 
to get power 
not compensation 
Hartlepool now has its first woman MP 
first Tory for 50 odd years 
and nothing to do with 
The Wimin 
 4th May 2021 
today's word or phrase of the day is 
grandfathered in 
a grandfather clause or  
grandfather policy 
or 
grandfathering 
is  
is a provision in which 
an old rule continues to apply 
to some existing situations 
while a new rule will apply to 
all future cases 
those expempt from the new rule are said to have 
grandfather rights  
or 
acquired rights 
or to hve been grandfathered in 
as an example 
UK driver ROBSO 911257 TB9ST
was licenced to drive vehicle groups 
A D E G H J M N 
a class H licence is for  
track laying vehicle, steered by its tracks 
until 
14 05 1981 
BUT 
he had never passed or sat a driving test 
his right to drive was greandfathered in 
many people driving on UK roads today 
have never passed or sat 
a driving theory test 
the secondary word or the day is 
derogtion 
in civil and common law 
the partial - or in part - susppension of a law 
as opposed to  
annulment, repeal or obrogation 
so grandfather is the reverse or 
and stand in defiance of the legal principle 
lex posterior derogat priori 
a subsequent law derogates and earlier one 
in Roman Catholic Cannon Law it   
is distinct from a  
dispensation 
a dispensation relates to the person or corporate body 
not the law 
so what we are saying here is 
The UK government was  
'persuaded' to close  
Redcar Steel works 
because it was a 
21st century new build 
and if it existed and operated 
the government would have to acknowledge that it had 
either proroged rthe Health and Safety at Work act 
in respect of 
those existing steel works  
not adoptng Redcar's new technology 
or would have had to offer a dispensation to the 
owners and operators of 
Port Talbot and Scunthorpe 
to continue using 19th century technology 
 
 
so that 
in general 
old plant can be patched up 
but new plant has to comply 
 
so here's our cunning plan 
Mr Tata has a steel works in Port Talbot 
it's knackered 
he wants to replace it with a new 19th century style steel works 
HM Government would perfer he builds a Redcar style 21st century one 
he say give me the difference 
£ 500 million to £ 1 billion 
HMG say 
cunning plan B 
let's HIDE Redcar 
and permit a new 19th century style steel works  
in Port Talbot 
and when it's built 
ta da 
look what we found in Redcar! 
is this what they call 
the biter bit? 
 3rd May 2021 
Today we will be referencing another 
real not yet dead person 
and so we have researched him a bit 
he i currently 84 years old and 
Ricker's only meeting with him was 
within the past ten years 
this chap had a positive start 
the thing is when somebody rises to prominance 
they can edit their biography but.. 
this chap was an engineer 
in his early career he had something to do with 
'the famous hyperbolic paraboloid roof of 
The Commonwealth Institute in Kensington, London 
he went on to have a partnership with 
professor David Bellamy 
at that point perhaps, alarm bells may ring 
David Bellamy - if this is the same David Bellamy was 
a global warming denyer 
on the one hand we have David Bellamy saying  
global temperature rises are 
a blip 
a reverse ice age 
and our man of the day is most famous for saying 
brng your industry to Teesside 
it's so filthy 
no matter how polluting your process may be 
nobody will notice 
in the mean time the most famour company he had worked for was 
Yuill Homes  
he has 5 children and is or was 
Deputy Lieutenant of County Durham 
when our Ricker met him he was living near Thirsk 
 
in this context we may say 
both these people were involved in 
environmental issues but 
David Bellamy was somewhat naieve 
and our man was more 
knowing 
but still a bit indiscrete 
once interviewed on TV about a home he had restored 
he was asked 
how much do you expect to get for this when you sell 
as much as anybody is daft enough to pay 
we have referenced many times 
in effect 
Redcar is consdered not to be  
a one horse town but 
the home of twin Hercules 
British Steel 
and 
ICI 
steel and bulk chemicals 
what is a little below the surface is that 
in the mid 20th century these industries were 
vital to Britain's National Security 
and as such 
British Steel was manned by ex-cons  
and ICI was staffed by ex military 
and all this together called for the mother of all 
Dangerous Dogs Acts 
and this was the mid 1970s' 
health and Safety at Work Act 
the pre 1970 installations of ICI and British Steel 
in Redcar were built under 
considerations of 
wartime expediency 
the people working there were the wartime and post war 
equivalent of 
Bevin Boys 
the men who by lot were selected to 
work in the mines 
rather than go to the front 
realistically the culture built up was 
no health and safety on these sites but 
the innocent public must be kept well away 
hence the legacy of  
Tight Security 
we now have a Free Port 
this area is a Free Port 
but this is confined to 
economic advantages - tax reliefs 
and although some think that BrExit means 
we can take The Tees Valley 
back to the 1950s 
this is not so 
it is a risk 
but it is not so 
so please don't come to Teesside and expect a 
Health and Safety at Work Act-free zone 
 
 2nd May 2021 
for clarity... 
photos of Teesworks 
East Coast Path 
Saltburn to Newport Bridge 
the phot of the siding was taken 
 from a bridge on the path 
the siding runs alonglide the path 
obviously, fenced off 
he path runs across the entrance to TeesWorks 
and the boundary line is clearly marked 
as in the pictures by a 
railway crossing style barrier 
get your tanks off my lawn 
Mr Mayor 
from the official web site 
businesses found on this section of the path 
No businesses found 
reference 
Walk the England Coast Path 
 
Denny's is a garage on Redcar Sea Front 
three pionts to start 
back in the day  
Mrs Denny was the secretary or such of 
Redcar Business Association 
Denny's regualrly service cop cars 
Denny's is also as  
dive shop 
sells wet suits 
fills air tanks, etc 
back in the day when the internet was new 
Denny's set up a web cam 
on the top of their building 
trained on the rocks over the road 
so that diving enthusiasts could have real time 
information about sea conditions 
some old biddy complained and it was taken down 
now the building has sprouted at least 
ten cameras 
get with the programme! 
 
  
have you heard the Sam about 
th boyscout and the  
Swiss Army Knife 
boy scout says to his mates 
I'm fed up that I've still not had sex 
they say 
easy 
get a swiss army knife 
and take it up the hill to 
Malinda 
she'll sort you out 
he goes and is ushered in and 
Malinda takes the knife and  
open a drawer to put it away 
the scout sees in the process that the drawer is 
jam packed full of swiss army knives 
why did you want another one when you have so may? 
a boy scout will do anything for a swiss army knife 
even fuck a raddled old hag 
after this 
go see yer gran 
about getting a replacement 
 
sweet Balinda  
the peasants call her the goddess of doom 
she speaks good English and invites you up into her room 
and you're so kind and careful not to go to her too soon 
and she takes your mind and leaves you howling at the moon 
 1st May 2021 
we've been plumbing the shallows of 
our Ricker's mind again 
so this is a bit disjointed? 
Esau 
Esau sold his inheritance 
for 
a mess of pottage 
and this is the thing with 
girls and sex 
in an 'advanced' country 
people have in the past developed the concept of 
marriage 
currently very big in 
emerging nations 
such as 
India 
it's all about all this  
lottey win scale 
new money 
need to spend it on looking good 
need to keep it in the family 
so there must be a family 
 so there must be marriage 
essentiallythe drive to 
suppress child sexuality and to 
promote the concept 
if you like it  
put a ring on it 
is about 
preserving a girl's 
maidenhead 
until the family can secure a good price for it 
use her virginity as a bargaining chip in the  
forging of an inter family alliance 
that set of ideas comes from 
do you remember when 'they' 
destroyed Jimmy Saville's gravestone 
we were thinking 
afte Phil the Greek 
designed his own funeral 
has Boris the Spider 
set to and designed his own  
headstone yet? 
perhaps it could read 
true holyness of heart 
which takes the humbler part 
and ower it's own 
short Cummings 
weaps with loathing 
or perhaps more simply 
there's no fool like 
an old fool 
30th April 2021 
here's a real person who is still alive 
and probably has lawyers etc 
so we must say 
our Ricker MAy have met her once 
novelist Pat Barker  
was born in 
Thornaby-on-Tees 
when it was in North Yorkshire 
it is now in 
Stockton-on-Tees 
she was educated at the 
London School of Economics 
International History 
and at 
The Universty of Durham 
she taught History and Politics until 1982 
that would be six years after 
our Ricker graduated 
Pat barker's work never makes comfortable reading 
She explores, with an unflinching eye, 
subjects such as  
prostitution, homosexuality, child rape 
incest, mental illness 
pacifism, war, and murder by minors 
hshe has 2 children 
and? 
her daughter is novelist Anna Ralph 
and her late husband was 
David Barker 
1922 to 2009 
he was a British zoologist and neurologist 
specialising in animal neuroanatomy 
he was Professor Emeritus 
of zoology at the university of Durham 
Durham England 
a university of Durham in the states has a stronger web prescence 
he is honoured by the annual award of the 
David barker Prize in Zoology 
in February 1963 he published 
Zoology and Medical Research 
from 1941 to 1943 
David Barker studed anatomy at 
The University of Oxford 
UNDER THE TUTELAGE of 
John Zachary Young 
J Z Young 
1907 - 1997 
if you don't know 
if you don't know, why don't you know? 
one of the most influential biologists of 
the 20th century 
and? 
David Barker was our Ricker's 
head of department 
when he was at Durham 
what a simple scan of the internet may not tell you is 
David Barker specialised in 
muscle spindles 
and the only other person specialising in 
muscle spindles was 
Bernhard Katz 
muscle spindles are 
fibres within voluntary muscles such as 
the muscles of the upper arm 
they are fibres that are modified into 
strain guages 
Sir Bernhard Katz was a German-British physician 
he shared the 1970 Nobel Prize 
with Julius Axelrod and Ulf von Euler 
so 
somwhere our Ricker has a copy of 
Nerve, Muscle and Synapse 
on the one hand 
it does irk our Ricker from time to time to be described as 
self taught 
on the other hand 
when you get cramp 
as our Ricker does from time to time 
yer muscle spindles have been 
tweeked 
they have got over sensitive and sent 
a panic message to yer brain 
the ladybird books of medsun 
say cramp is due to 
too little salt 
too much caffine 
dehydration 
the great Ricker has heard that the 
Pfiser CoVID vaccine 
is attached to the muscle fibres 
not too sure what that means 
on the face of it 
the suggestion is that the trigger molecules 
are held hostage within the muscle 
as opposed to the AstraZenica vaccine that is held 
n a more conventional location of detention 
somewhere like the thymus or bone marrow 
there is a point ot make here 
we assume that the current CoViD vaccines are all 
IM 
there has been some loose talk about  
children getting CoViD jabs 
one of the prime reasons for not giving CoViD vaccinations  
to children 
is that these days 
vaccines for children are not generally IM 
we would expect any modern vaccination for children to be 
nasal 
drops they are invited to snuffle up their noses 
there  would have to be entirely separate trials for those 
but if a nasal version became available 
it may be possible to administer it to 
adults who are  
petrified of needles 
IM stands for  
Intramuscular 
and so we have some doubts a child version of 
the Pfiser vaccine will ever be developed 
   
28th April 2021 
we are sorry that we have no time to 
make this look better 
 
the prime comment of the day is 
even if the food you buy has a best before  
a week head 
or a use by six months ahead 
if you bring it home and 
open it 
and somebody or something -sucah as a fly 
who or that is carrying something infectious 
on feet hands or mouthparts 
and the food becomes containated with 
something such as 
e.coli, salmonella, or norovirus 
irrespective of the dates on the pack 
that food becomes  
instantly dangerous 
but 
  
we wish to just insert a place marker here 
there is a mid point in food safety between 
food poisoning 
and 
food spoilage 
the classic in this 'gap' is 
ergot 
the ergot fungus produces a toxin as it grows on grains 
mainly rye 
and the geain is worse than 
having an off taste that means people won't buy it 
as a result of fungal activity 
it contains a toxin that may kill them 
however, it does not contain a 
pathogen that will 
infect them and live and grow within them 
such as norovirus, e. coli, salmonella 
  
a lot of people have heard of 
Louis Pasteur 
his early work was on 
causes of food spoilage 
we labour under the assumption 
that education theses days is essentially the same as 
fast food related sports sticker collecting 
learn, stick in album, forget 
no concept that you may attend an exam in summer 
where you may be required to 
guess what it was you wrote about in erly autumn 
on that basis we reckon it is not so fatuous to explain 
Pasteur's preliminary experiments 
back in the days when everybody 
was surrounded by antiques 
in schools - some schools 
Pasteur's game changing experiment was repeated 
broth is a sort of soup 
like dissolved OXO cubes 
so you have a set of flasks 
a flask -  an erlenmeyer flask of some such we forget 
in this case a glass vessel 
flat bottom, conical sides rising to a neck 
that can be stoppered 
you put some water and an OXO cube 
meat extract cube 
into each of three or four such flasks 
get ehw water good and hot as per OXO drections 
whilst they are still hot 
set one aside 
stuff cotton wool into the neck of a second 
bung a stopper into the top of another 
bung a stopper with a straight glass hollow tube 
like a chimney, running through it 
the last one is as before but the glass tube is bent 
into what they call a swan neck 
it goes up, curves back down 
and curves back up again 
the theory is 
the open necked flask will go off 
the stoppered flask will not go off 
the cotton wool bunged flask will not go off 
the flask with the chimney 
will eventually go off 
and the flask with the swan necked chimney will not go off 
to cut to the chase 
it is thus demonstrated that in is not 
air 
that causes food spoilage 
but something in the air that settles out into the broth 
open flask - air and suspended particles have access 
cotton wool - air can get in or out but particles are 
trapped by the cotton wool 
stoppered - air and particles are excluded or trapped as appropriate 
as at the start 
flask with chimney - a small cross sectional area through which 
particles can settle 
in the case of the flask with the swan necked chimney 
air can get in and out - gasses that is 
but settling particles are trapped at the bottom of the 
curve of the swan neck 
this demonstrates two things 
first and not yet universally accepted 
food spoilage agents do not arise due to 
spontaneous genertion 
if you heat the food and seal it 
as in a tin can or a glass jar 
it will not spoil 
it may mature, but it won't spoil 
tins of baked beans neither mature nor spoil 
bottles of wine mature but don't spoil 
secondly 
it is not air or gases that cause spoilage but 
particles that settle on the food that do 
 this is the bit where people don't kink outside the box 
they think in siloes 
if you buy cheese it's use by date is way, way beyond 
what would have been the use by date for the milk 
that was used to make the cheese 
you may be fmiliar with the adverts for 
Cravendale 
'it's not milk' 
it's not milk as we know it 
 ilk as we know it is  
either raw 
or 
Pasteurised 
Cravendale is 
Pasteurised AND microfiltered 
if you boil milk 
you kill everything that is living in it 
and you destroy the taste 
Pasteurisation 
reduces the bacterial load to 
a point where the shelf life will be acceptable 
any food that 
goes off 
has either been 
unwrapped 
or it always had spoilage microbes in and on it 
and the point of 
going off 
is the point where they have just bred to 
an unacceptable level 
this is 
QUITE DIFFERENT from 
eating food that has been contaminated withMBR>
e. coli, or salmonella, or norovirus 
you chuck out the cream or buttermilk 
as soon as you see the mold that 
makes your stilton blue 
mold on cheese OK 
mold on cream not OK 
not a health issue 
a matter of taste 
but 
also a matter of knowing 
I TRUST the shop to sell me cheese with safe mold on it 
I don't trust the shop to sell me cream with safe mold on it 
there shouldn't be mold on buttermilk 
even though it says 
cultured on the label 
invisible amounts of mould OK 
as soon as they become visible 
bin it 
but the pack with the invisible mold 
the culture 
has already made an impact on your immune system anyway 
if in doubt follow the advice on the label 
but don't go all 
Alan Partridge 
on people who know hat they are doing 
26th April 2021 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Our Ricker is presently  
making up for a mis-spent youth 
wgilst he was frittering away his youth 
the the biology lab 
Hawkins 
he who's dad was the service manager at the 
Renault 
garage on the Trunk Road 
was spending his break times in the school workshops 
hawkins made a little solid wood housing for 
a sound system switchover contraption Ricker  
made and used 
so he could  
switch from reel to reel 
ink from the end of one reel to the next 
when projecting feaure films 
for the Film Club of an evening 
after Ricker left 
a visiting  
Bell and Howel technician removed it 
anyway 
last summer Ricker confused hs sister by telling her 
he'd bought a machine for drillingsquare holes 
here s is folkes 
Ricker's first 
mortice and tennon joint 
 25th April 2021 
just imagine 
Tweedledee 
shacked up with the  
Red Queen 
who's daddy runs a national newspaper.... 
  
first we will go back a couple of years 
do you remember 
PPI 
payment protection insurance 
there was a government web site 
on that site there were links to 
agencies who would process your claim for you 
did you know that 
those agencies charged 
25 per cent - a quarter of your claim value 
for handling it for you 
and tey charged 20 per cent VAT on that fee 
so 
one thousand pounds coughed up by your credit card company 
£250 to the agent, £50 to the government 
£700 to you 
if that sounds bad consider 
parliamentary cabdidate Killick 
Hartlepool by election 
took a phot of a woman when she was asleep?? 
how asleep? 
how deeply asleep? 
she gets awarded 
£5000 because her 
life has been destroyed 
her lawyers get 
£2,500 of that as a fee 
and charge her  
£500 VAT 
if the rules were followed 
we will be interested to see 
how many votes Mr Killick gets 
we think he deserves more that 
Hangus the Monkey 
just lke furleau 
compensating wimin for being female 
is a 
feed a lawyer scam 
 
  
under the heading 
life's too short 
our Ricker has got a bee under his bonnet about 
people complaing about photography 
and 
the media using the 
face blur tool 
simply because they have got it 
in order for a photographer to need a 
model release form to use a photograph 
the photographer has to have requested 
creative input from the model 
photographers do not need permission to  
include people in the background of their shots 
here's a dimension of 
this 
we referred to 
back street garages 
and an aspect of this came to mind 
a person - little old lady 
booking her car into a vehicle repair shop 
have you got a dash cam? 
is it switched off 
it brings to mind the cops who recently got in trouble 
for having a jaunt in a confiscated Bently 
because its tracker showed it had  
gone the long way round 
from pull ove point to police pound 
last week our Ricker  
not for the first time 
got onto 
Google Street View 
life's too short to check it out but apparently 
if a stree is marked in blue on 
Google maps 
it can be seen in Google Street View 
there is something gloriously  
Keystone Cops slapstick comedy about 
a security guard scurrying out of his cabin 
to confront a passer by with a camera 
when every vehicle passing 
and every vehicle entering and leaving 
has a dash cam 
and probably a back up - reversing aid  - camera 
we all got cameras now 
get used to it 
 
24th April 2021 
a long long time ago 
there was a company called  
ICI 
Imperial Chemical Industries 
for much of its life it was 
the largest manufacturer in Britain 
as such 
its main operational sites were 
Billingham in Stockton-on-Tees 
Wilton in redcar and Cleveland 
in Billingham there was a football team or club 
It's called 
Billingham Synthonia 
not Billingham Symphonia 
it's called Synthonia because it is 
was 
the works team of  
ICI's synthetic ammonia plant 
 we won't carry on about 
The Diamond Boring Company 
or 
The United Alkali Company 
both of which our Ricker's grandad worked for 
they started with salt 
rock salt extracted by solution not mining 
and then there were other minerals 
and synthetic ammonia was made during the 
Second World War 
as a constituent of explosives 
and so we can say 
quite important 
Now if you get a chance you may drive along the  
A174 
from Eston to Redcar 
Wilton Castle golf club 
you may glimps the large red brick office block 
once referred to as 
The Wilton Hilton 
The Wilton R&D site - research and development 
was built to support the plastics division with  
R&D and chemical engineering facilities 
In the 1960s 
ICI Billingham was split into 
HOC and Agriculture 
Heavy Organic Chemicals 
got this explosives factory 
little or no market post war 
use it to make fertilizer 
very swords into plough shares 
nor a lorra people know this but 
from 1971 to 1988... 
ICI Billingham hosted 
General Atomics TRIGA 
wot! 
Mark 1 
a  
nuclear reactor 
used to produce  
radio isotopes 
and then there was 
what eventually became 
Quorn 
initially a bioreacter to produce  
animal feed 
now use to feed vegitarians 
over in enemy teretory 
In Manchester and Huddersfield 
well huddersfield isn't quite the enemy 
ICI specialised in dyestuffs 
Deep into enemy teretory 
in Runcorn in Cheshire 
ICI made chlorine - not poison gas surely 
and caustic soda - sodium hydroxide 
and CFCs - remember them? 
to put ICI history in a nutshell 
ICI started on Teesside but 
slunk off to Cheshire to die 
  
but its activities have always been 
or, always were, of national strategic importance 
not just because they were big 
 
in 1993 ICI split off its  
drug, pesticide and speciality chemical division as 
Zeneca Group plc 
in 1999 that merged with 
Astra AB  
of Sweeden to become 
AstraZenica 
the rest of ICI was bought for 
£8billion in 2007 by Akzo Nobel 
Perspex - plexiglas 
polythene and nylon were  
were developed in Billingham in 1940 
The anhydrite mine in Billingham closed in 1971 
and so we guess that's where they want to 
'store' the carbon dioxide 
anhydrite is an evaporative mineral 
rocks left behind when salty water evapourates 
ICI made a lorra lora  
palster board 
dry wall 
specifically anhydrite is 
calcium sulphate 
even more precisely 
anhydrite - CaSO4 
gypsum - CaSO4-2H2O 
anhydrite is  
waterless gypsum 
 
Thames House 
is an office building on 
Millbank 
on the North bank of the River Thames 
adjacent to 
Lambeth Bridge 
Officially... 
Thames House was the headquarters of ICI 
until 1994 
and only became 
officially the headquarters of 
MI5  
from that date 
 
   
we don't know exactly what went wrong with the 
Post Office Counters 
computer system 
but we have a similar story from charity 
Sue Ryder Care 
Sue Ryder care had a charity shop on 
Redcar High Street 
and it was a pop-up 
it was a place holder 
it paid no rent on the basis that if 
anybody offered rent  
it would close and make way 
so Arthritis Research offered rent and it closed 
then ARC moved out etc etc 
and so the staff  
had to be offered alternative work 
the charity offered our Ricker a job they thought 
 he was bound to refuse 
part time in Thirsk
even though the staff at Saltburn were retiring 
and up for replacement 
Rcker took the job 
temporary full time whilst the other  
job share manager worked out her notice 
as retail manager for all the shops of a charity based in 
Hartlepool 
she was makng the move because 
her mother had moved to a static caravan in Thirsk 
and the manager wanted to move to another nearby 
we suppose that this co-incided with her husband's retirement? 
or perhaps he was a contract welder who 
didn't mind where 'home' was 
there was a problem 
we don't tour all the charity shops to check but 
at that time 
income at charity shops came from several streams 
they were and probably are 
run as arms length commercial companies 
we associate charity shops with being 
given things with a view to them being sold 
to fund the charity 
charity shops are largely run by volunteers 
the Thirsk shop had 
two paid managers on a job share 
and one volunteer 
it is very small 
what happened at that time was that 
charity shops such as  
we know, Sue Ryder Care and Cancer Research UK 
for certain 
as trading companies 
were getting stock from at least four sources 
donations of goods at the shop 
street collections 
donations of overstock - new goods 
purchase of new goods - some with logos, some not 
to cut a long story short 
and bring up the parallel with Post Office Counters 
all sales had to be rung up on the tills  
within their appropriate category 
in essence 
whether at a few or many branches 
if  
all sales were rung up under the same code 
using the same till button 
BIG 
Bought in Goods 
would show a massive deficite 
the charity would be buying goods for sale
and selling them at a profit 
BUT 
the accounts would say 
they were 
shrinkage 
stolen not to be found at stock take  
not to be found on till rolls 
that was the first problem 
in a small shop it woud amount to a few hundred pounds a year 
no big deal 
the second problem was 
Rosanna, the area manager was not 
accountancy trained 
she did not understand that she had to do something about this 
she did nothing 
as a consequence 
doing nothing meant not 
writing off the losses on each year's accounts 
so year 1 with no proper manager - £120 misallocated in the accounts 
year 2 - £120 not written off, carried over plus £150 for yeaar 2 
after five years 
we were over a thousand pounds of shrinkage 
being accounted IN YEAR FIVE 
sliget problem 
in year 5 the shop had deliveries of BIG  
valued at less than £1,000 
how can you have sharinkage that exceeds  
value of stock purchased? 
so we have the same old problems 
over promoting people without proper training 
and 
'sacred' categories of employee who 
cannot be trained or questioned 
you can't tell a black man or a woman that they are wrong 
for fear of 
is it 'cos I's black? 
  
so you gradually loose your best people because 
your best people - white men included 
are the only people you are entitled to blame 
if anything goes wrong 
wheels within wheels 
although X was a job share manager in a tiny shop 
she HAD BEEN retail director for an entire charity in Hartlepool 
she 'outranked' Rosanna who was 'merely' an 
area manager for a  
nationawide Charity 
and was of course the younger woman 
this has consequences for our Ricker 
when his GP service was located in coatham Road 
there was a practice nurse - one of several 
and as it goes 
Rosanna is either the sister or cousin 
of that nurse 
and so 
Ricker's GPs know him from a different angle 
and are not so keen on seeing him 
so Ricker got sacked 
Rosanna left the company 
and X struggled on for another year or so 
there is a fambulous side not to this 
the shop is a regualr cave 
stale air means to stinks 
X blamed Ricker's personal hygiene 
and Rosanna made a special 
petty cash allocation for 
deoderant for Ricker 
another problem that 
wasn't solved by 
getting rid of the man 
 23rd April 2021 
there will be an election for a 
Tees Valley Mayor on 6 May 2021 
There are  
675,900 people 
331,800 males 
334,200 females,BR>
that doesn't quite add up 
anyway 
that is around a quarter of the 
Population of  
North East England 
2,669,900people 
1,312,100 male 
1,357,800 frmale 
as at 2019 
these are Offuce for national Statistics figures 
18,900 of those are unemployed 
9,800 males 
and 
9,100 females 
and so to Mayoral candidates 
The labour candidate pledges to create 
56,000 new jobs in the Tees Valley 
20,000 in the Net Zero Green Port 
10,000 in tech hubs in Stockton Darlington and Middlesbrough 
and 26,000 culture and tourism jobs 
from the ONS... 18.8 per cent of children in the Tees Valley 
live in workless households 
which is twice the Great Britain average 
what does this mean? 
clearly it means that 
children in the North East of England 
tend to live with  
stay at home mothers  
who 
go out 
when they fancy a bit of the other 
or with the children's retired grandparents 
74,100 people declare themselves 
out of work and 
Does not want a job 
single mums, the retired 
28,300 people declare themselves as  
out of work, wants a job 
there are therefore 
28,300  
job seekers in the Tees valley 
and so... 
Jessie Joe Jacobs... 
if your plans go ahead,br.
we need homes and hospitals and schools for 
30,000 imigrants 
even if all the jobs you create 
suit our job seekers 
the Tory offer of 20,000 new jobs seems to  
come from a better grasp of these stats 
for those who don't follow these things 
Middlesbrough has an elected mayor 
The Tees Valley has an elected mayor 
Middlesbrough has one because 
the post wasn' rolled into the Valley post that came later 
in other words 
in no way was the role of 
elected Middlesbrough Mayor 
expanded to become Tees valley Elected Mayor 
we recall an ex=cop called Mallon being the first 
elected mayor of Middlesbrough 
and beginning his term with plans for Redcar - Eston 
no way Hose 
22nd April 2021 
it's time for another think piece 
this is where we write something that isn't a direct 
rebuttal of some bullshit 
published in the media 
 
for well over half a century 
we have live with a refined version of 
History especially a history involving warefare 
is written by the winners 
the refinement is that in this case we havean 
authorised version 
of mid 20th century history 
written by Winston Churchill 
as we write modern day 
more industious historians 
and looking to other sources 
it is both difficult and interesting 
challenging 
to think outside the box in this way 
no immediate conclusions are available 
the two questions at top of mind are 
why did Adolf Hitler come to power? 
why did Germany start so many wars? 
lots of people died in the Second World War 
we have just had a bit of an insght into the fact that 
lots of them were non-white subjects of the Brtish Empire 
we will not here 
The British are NOT citizens of the United Kingdom 
they are Her Majesty's Loyal Subjects 
that aside 
and applying no less to those born and living in England 
Scotland or wales but also white 
so The British are no individually independent 
they are all subject to the same laws 
even when 
The Crown versus Bloggs 
is replaced by 
The People versus Bloggs 
even though significant numbers of non-white subjects of 
The British Crown died in conflict in the 20th century 
the numbers are 
how should we say 
not a large proportion of the overall death toll 
to work backwards... 
why did Germany start so many wars 
wars with so many countries during the Second World War? 
when we consider the Second World War we 
soon turn to  
concentration camps 
the extemination of The Jews 
but not just the Jews 
people died in the UK in the Second World War 
but if you step back 
think away from the  
justified outrage at that 
and consider 
how much of the German War Effort 
was actually expended against the British Isles? 
were the Germans actually doing any more than 
sabre rattling 
in the direction of the UK? 
if they thought the British were akin to The Germans 
they may have thought 
we can keep the British out of our hair 
whilst we go bout our business 
at minimal effort 
and what was that business? 
it seems to take two dimensions 
one is to 
punish their own people for  
humiliating the German elite by allowing the German defeat 
in the First World War 
and the second was todo something that had been done before 
somebody - may research who at a later date 
 but let us guess it was Attlia the Hun 
he ruled in Europe from 434 to 453 
and was a scourge of the two  
yes there were two at the time - East and West 
Roman Empires 
basically, he depopulated Europe 
he killed so many people that he had the effect of a 
massive pandemic 
and he  
there is this tale from the UK parliamnet 
at some stage - possibly post First World War 
let's just imagine here 
concepts not facts 
after the Second World War people in the UK got 
The Welfare State 
let's just imagine that after the First World War 
as a peace settlement  
The UK government promised everybody who wanted it 
a piece of land of their own and a pre-fab home on it 
and one parliamentarian said 
in a cartoon probably 
as oppsoed to actually in The House 
where are these land grants? 
and the government leader said 
come over here and I'll kick you in the balls and 
that will be your two acres 
in other words in the 
 Hungry Thirties 
governments thought that if there were less people 
they could be spread out and become 
self sufficient 
grow there own food 
not rely on government handouts 
and with the loss of life in the 
fighting of the First World War 
plus the loss of life in the following 
'flu epidenic 
it seemed feasible 
particularly to The German Governments 
have a war, kill a lot of people 
and the survivers will be well off 
and perhaps  
medical science 
along with other developments 
thwarted this plan 
there was no  
global epidemic during or after the 
Second World War 
even thought the same old infections existed 
even though the UK NHS did not come in 
until several years after the Second World War ended 
and one of the questions 
perhaps the title of a play  
in post WW2 UK was 
What if we gave a war 
and nobody came? 
thin the buggers out a bit 
by having a war 
lost credibility in Europe 
but still holds sway 
in Africa and The Middle East 
Sam, Sam pick up they musket 
the sergeant exclaimed with a roar 
Stanley Holloway 
this idea in popular culture that 
after WW2 you would not have 
militant feninists - suffragists and suffragettes 
sending white feathers to men who did not enlist 
that developed nations demanded more advanced solutions to 
problems of genuine poverty 
and religious leaders reluctantly 
removing their support from those who 
had the 
wrong end of the stick 
and thought a nation needed 
 legions of the dispensible 
in order to be able to fight wars 
rather than having wars to thin the population out a bit 
for anybody wanting to run a course on this 
a core set text would be 
The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists 
21st April 2021 
here's somebody we're pretty sure  
you've never heard of 
The Reverend George Coverdale Sharpe 
a Unitarian minister in the  
Acton and Ealing area of Greater London 
he was politically active in the 1930s 
and a member of the  
Nordic League 
that was acive for 1935 to 1939 in  
private efforts to co-ordinate 
elements
 seeking to establish  
Nazism in the UK 
He declared 
that he hated Jews 
'in the sense that he hated all corruption' 
it is normal for teenagers to rebel against 
their parents 
and later revert 
Rev. Sharpe's son did the opposite 
he went along with his father's views at first 
and then changed his mind 
It's quite likely that if you ever knew about his son 
by now you will have forgotten him 
The son was 
Tom Sharpe 
and Tom Sharpe went to  
Penbroke College, Cambridge 
not the Oxford we have discussed recentlyBR>
Tom Sharpe wrote 
Porterhouse Blue 
most people still remember the still alive 
David Jason 
who played  
Scullion in Porterhouse Blue in 1987 
and Ian Richardson who played  
Sir Godber Evans 
of courese David Jason was also 
Del Boy Trotter in  
only Fools and Horses 
but most importantly of all 
he voiced 
Danger Mouse 
anyway 
we refer readers to 
Porterhouse Blue 
as a reference to the mileau 
from which emerged 
the UK's current Prime Minister 
The Bullingdon Club 
The Bullingdon Club is a private all male  
dining club for Oxford University students 
David Cameron 
George Osborne 
Jeremy Hunt 
Boris Johnson 
'recent'members 
Only Fools and Horses  
if you can't be bothered to check 
a Porterhouse Blue is  
a stroke 
brought on by excessive eating at a club 
such as The Bullingdon 
 20th April 2021 
it's sometimes surprising what is difficult to find 
on the internet 
today our Ricker came across a situation where  
one ordinary little car had run into the back of 
another ordinary little car 
there was a fair bit of damage to the car that 
had been hit 
we are completely out of the loop here 
back in the day 
when you saw two cars that had had a crash 
and there was nobody still in the cars and nobody laid on the ground 
you would have called that a 
no injury collision 
no need to call the police 
knock for knock 
each insurance company would repair their own vehicle 
without debate 
Ricker remembers having a prang or two 
no injuries but 
police involved 
what was interesting was what Ricker remembered 
a fat old copper getting far too close 
no social distancing then 
what's this gay guy up to? 
no sorry 
hes not after a feel 
he's got close so he can  
guess 
whether he can smell alcohol on Ricker's breath 
and then  
road traffic investigtion 
we will state here that what happened was 
we wll make a stab at this 
old road layouts 
we think Ricker was just south of Towcester 
on the A43 
and we think that at that time 
there was a left hand bend in a wood 
and at the apex of the bend there was a turn off  
for the A413 back to Buckingham 
so we are in a wood on a two digit A road 
that is wide enough for one lane of traffic in each direction 
and we further guess that there were double white lines 
prohibiting overtaking 
thus 
anybody wanting to make the right turn 
had to back up the traffic behind them 
no central reserve or filter lane 
so Ricker stops at the back of a short queue 
then 
a lead foundry wagon whacks into the back of him 
and then an aritculated, refrigerated food wagon 
 whacks into the back of him 
and all the traffic in front of Ricker 
goes its merry way leaving at the front of  
three wrecked vehicles 
and so far a Ricker was concerned 
accident investigation consisted of 
measuring the length of his skid marks  
around a foot 
to determine whether he had been speeding 
so back in the day 
A road in open country 
12 to 14 inch skid marks, and came to a rest 
at the end of the skid marks - not speeding 
no further action 
despite nobody stopping to offer a witness statement about 
how Ricker had avoided hitting the car in front 
what struck Ricker this morning was 
if the car had been very expensive 
or the incident had been more recent 
would his car have had  
ABS brakes? 
brakes that don't lock up 
it seems that brakes still do lock up 
but do the police have access to 
Black Box data 
from the engine, etc management system 
information on this does not seem easy to come by 
you whacked that car 
did you even touch the brakes? 
Tiger Woods apparently didn't but he was driving something 
very high end 
we understand that some cars can even 
send a text 
I have crashed at grid reference... 
even if the humans inside are unconscious 
it's a very unequal world out there 
as for today's little incident 
we can only conclude  
some test on the road surface to see 
how much grip there was 
was the reason for the road closure?? 
we liked the civilian saying to a truck driver 
you'll have to spin around the police are 
gonna close the road 
and the driver proveeds to the copper with the words  
this thing ain't never gonna spin around 
or words to that effect 
the rear driver had  
pilled into a queue of traffic stopped at traffic lights 
and the queue was facing away from the recently risen sun 
 
  
our Ricker is the first to admit that he may well suffer from 
agoraphobia 
the thing is 
although the government probably encourage employers to 
employ 'security' 
to get the illiterate off the unemployment register 
we do think the one greatest advantage of 
online shopping is that 
there are no securty guards 
at online shops 
in theory  
security should make us feel safer but 
Ricker for one 
feels if a place is so unsafe that it needs 
security guards 
it is a proper trigger for 
agoraphobia 
and we return to this on-going obsession with 
overt rather than covert photography 
if you were in a shop and a fellow customer 
began an impromptu photo shoot 
you may see that in a different light from 
the fact that amongst other things 
self service tills - like lap tops 
have cameras in them 
you feel self conscious about seeing the camera 
even though it is just one of many that are following your every move 
but if the fellow customer - as opposed to a staff member 
was wearing a hidden camera 
you may calss that as voyerism 
what is quite interesting is that all of this is a throw back to 
people - minor royals in particular 
complaining about 
paparatsi 
a papartso is a person who gets paid for taking the picture 
when the person in the picture thinks that it is they who 
should get paid 
top ranking royals  
expect to be photographed and not to be paid for it 
but lower rank royals and other celebs 
don't get paid for just existing 
they need a source of income 
and it comes from adverts that accompany the pictures of themselves 
that they publish themselves 
we thought it was very interesting that somehow 
the met. police got hold of camera 'phone material of the 
Fishmongers' Hall Murders 
and the media gave the met. police the picture credit 
and not the people who volunteered their footage to the police 
given that the footage was of the even before the crime 
and not of the crime 
  
we'll introduce a little social history here 
before the First World War 
shop assistants were men 
and shopping was done by women 
and shops had 
counters 
and shop assistants were called 
counter jumpers 
because the men of the town did not trust the  
shop assistants to keep to their side of the counters 
and then as the wa wore on the lack of young men meant that 
women got shop work 
by the end of the Second World War 
women had such a grip on retail that 
everyone agreed that 
counters were redundant 
and the self service supermarket with 
roving shelf stockers 
was born 
and now 
do you ever see a female security guard in a supermarket? 
 
  
as things stand in the UK Premier League 
soccer, association football 
teams each play  
38 league matches per season 
for the top six clubs 
only in around ten of these do they 
stand a chance of loosing 
a certain type of fan pays to watch 
their players bully lesser teams 
we respect the skills and dedication of 
all players 
but how about 
if you end up in the top six in one season 
the following season 
you must start each match with 
10 players instead of 11 
that may make the leaque more interesting 
 
 19th April 2021 
apart from when Tess in the bank 
makes him feel two inches tall because 
he touched the wrong part of the screen 
have you noticed that 
at supermarket tills 
if you touch the same button on the screen 
with two fingers at the same time 
the machine does not respond? 
anyway 
rarely does our Ricker feel  
conned 
he does right now over  
Redcar Steel Works 
it seems that a lorra lorra money has been 
put through the government's books as 
maintainance and security 
for a future industrial estate on the 
Redcar Steel Works site 
it is beginning to look like 
what has happened is that that money has been spent 
on building a new steel works 
in plain sight 
we won't stray from the  
public domain 
but the bulk terminal 
once owned by Powel Dufryn 
the PD Ports and now 
some Canadian outfit 
is being offered to somebody in the 
Middle East 
for around a billion GBP, pounds Sterling 
how coud it be worth that if it were not part of  
a functioning steel works? 
it seems of all the people  
the project may be being hidden from 
the most likely are 
the people of Scunthorpe 
and  
Port Talbot 
  
by contrast 
Sembcorp 
who took over management of 
Wilton International 
from  ICI 
recently wrote to local residents saying 
inter alia - amongst other things 
from April 2021 
the 'whole site alarms' will be retired 
no more 9am to 10am oof a Tuesday 
alarm tests 
those alarms were heard by 
14,000 households every Tuesday 
EVERY TUESDAY including Christmas Day 
and New Year's Day 
no more 
because  
Wilton International 
is no longer an intigrated 
crude oil waste recycling site
our Ricker has a question for 
The South Tees Development Corporation 
if you were selling or trying to let 
a home 
would you put the  
For Sale 
board in 
the  
Back Garden 
STDC is behaving like  
China or Russia 
things ain't going too well at home so let's 
treat 
Dormanstown 
like  
The Crimea 
what's the point of spending big bucks on a 
promotional map of the site 
and then employing security gurad to 
stop people looking at it?? 
  
  
this is 
in plain site 
evidence that the  
single track siding 
from the Darlinton to Saltburn line 
into Wilton International 
is having money spent on it 
new balast 
  
 
  
For a personal reason our Ricker 
today 
is allowing himself to write something 
in a way that may cause confusion 
rather than clear it up 
he's seen material on TV about 
castelated nuts 
this is what Ricker understands 
important elements - parts 
in a machine may 
experience very large temperature changes 
in daily service 
the metal parts expand and contract with 
varying temperatures 
the idea of castelated nuts is?? 
mostly, you screw a nut on quite tight 
to a preset torque setting 
to stop it loosening and running off the shaft 
or bolt 
IF the nut is squeeing a bearing 
there is a conflict between 
the nut being tight enough to stay on 
and being so tight as to sease the bearing 
when the bearing gets hot 
so you prioritise the bearing and discount  
the nut retaining grip of the assembly 
abandoning that you compensate by 
drilling a hole through the thread of the 
bolt or shaft 
you then pass a split pin in the manner of  
a stitch 
through two opposite gaps in the nut 
and the hole in the shaft 
Ricker watches car modification TV shows 
here's the question 
we see footage of the nut being fitted and the pin being 
inserted  
but on occasion 
the pin appears to be going through the  
hole drilled through the shaft or bolt 
and not catching any of the gaps in the nut 
castelated - with alternating high and low points 
in sharp not smooth transitions 
from high to low
arrow slit in a castle - castelated 
Ricker has washers that are 
a tenth of a milimetre thick 
that he has to seat  
circular saw blades 
what he is suggesting is that 
if the hole in the shaft 
does not line up with the castellations 
the nut should be packed out with  
one or more washers 
 
17th April 2021 
  
The Promenade Penguins 
are booking in the new materials 
  
  
  
  
this picture seeks to show 
how much narrower the cinema building will be than 
the bund 
plenty of room for 
action down the side 
an outdoor courtyard 
  
rgthe upper sections are  
way thinner than the lower ones 
 16th April 2021 
Arrested Development 
things just build up 
slowly creep up on us 
as individuals and as societies 
was  
John Lennon 
the first person to say 
Life is what happens while 
you're making other plans 
 
somehow we have developed recruitment systems 
for police 
that select people with a mental age of  
nine years 
that has become entrenched because  
per se - as it stands 
that's not a major problem 
the major problem is that somehow along the way 
the police have stopped playing 
Cops and Robbers 
and shifted to playing 
Cowboys and Indians 
 
perhaps the main reason is that 
Robbers 
iincluding 
Safe Crackers 
the likes of  
George Reynolds 
have long since 
gone legit 
or at least switched to 
White Collar Crime 
 
it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that 
some of these movements sucha as 
Cancel Culture 
are funded by the likes of  
Russia and China 
but  
police agents may be 
allowing 
training exercises 
to spill out onto the streets 
we are quite convinced that 
protesters in places such as 
Hong Kong 
and 
Burmah 
are often never sure whether they are 
at home playing a computer game 
or actually on the streets 
and that confusion may be drug induced 
  
there are significant difficulties with 
how shall we say 
intimate human relationships 
in all his younger days 
our Ricker was brought up according to  
the sort of rules you may expect in a court of law 
or on The BBC 
these are not  
Real World Rules 
Ricker's 'To Do' list was 
get educated 
get qualified 
get a job 
get a partner 
get a home 
get kids 
the real world to do list has long been 
get somebody pregnant 
we'll find you a home and a job 
when Ricker worked for  
Dolland and Aitchison opticians 
he was befriended by a bloke 
Keith went on to become a 
consultant in Huddersfield Eye Hospital 
a little way into the friendship 
Keith said to Ricker 
I knew you weren't gay when 
I came to your room 
and you didn't jump me 
man has access to women 
doesn't 'jump them' 
must be gay 
we said the woman Ricker most resented being 
separated from was 
Rosanna 
Rosanna of Knaresborough and Sue Ryder Care 
lots of lovely girls have 
trailed their coat for Ricker 
but  
Sam was the only one to visit him at home 
and Rosanna was the one Ricker was most convinced 
would raise kids the way 
his mum had raised Ricker 
essentially it comes down to 
a woman must have her foot 
not her knee on a man's neck 
suggestions of rape, indecent assault, stalking 
harassing, upsetting 
or she must walk away and find another victim 
 
 15th April 2021 
sometimes we wonder whether there really is a 
Deus ex machina 
a supervisor tweaking the ways of the world 
everybody knows that 
Sunderland AFC 
are so lucky to be in the  
First Division 
what we find quite amusing is that 
the trade union for the 
fuck whit senior civil servants 
decided to call itself 
The First Division Association 
before the renaming in UK professional football gave us 
Premiership 
Championship 
Division one 
Division two 
national league 
was 'somebody up there' putting the
hubristic  
representatives of the people 
back in their place? 
 
  
George Reynolds 
Direct Worktops 
our Ricker has a memento in his home 
in the kitchen he has a 
Direct Worktops worktop 
and they were the making of a chap 
recently dead 
called George Reynolds 
and George Reynolds probably hear about the  
baseball? 
movie with the slogan 
Build it and they will come 
well George Reynolds 
built it 
and they didn't come 
Darlington 
Middlesbrough Football Club is 
based in Darlington 
Rockliffe Hall training ground 
Darlington has a professional football club 
well they are not playing at present 
they are probably on furleau and delivering pizza 
George Reynolds built them a 40,000 seat stadium 
and the got 1,500 spectators 
the stadium probably gets 
pre-CoViD 
more spectators for its  
rugby matches than it got for its 
football matches  
if our Ricker were playing 
Forge of Empires 
he'd move Middlesbrough Football Club's fixtures  
from 'The Cellnet' 
Middlesbrough's Riverside Stadium 
to the stadium in Darlinton 
that way MFC would get to play  
Home matches 
and with a roof... 
The Cellnet would make an 
Amazon warehouse 
  
we love this story about George Reynolds 
he had a factory making those worktops 
he didn't just import them and flog 'em 
in the factory he had machines 
and somebody - let's say Kevin 
worked one particular machine 
Kevin spray painted 
Kevin 
on the machine 
Gorge asked around and  
went into the car park and  
spray painted George 
on Kevin's car  
 
 14th April 2021 
if you take a vehicle to a  
back street garage for 
service or repair 
you may expect that they may not use 
main dealer original manufacturer spares 
electing Oxford grads is like 
taking your vehicle to a back street garage 
and expecting that garage to 
sub contract the entire job 
to a local main dealer 
Oxford reserves 
political and civil service recruitment for 
their student baffoons 
where else would they get a 
tick in the 
first destination after graduation 
box 
not all Oxford grads are as 
jaw drop dumb 
as the ones with double Firsts 
nor as way with the fairies as 
J R R Tolkien 
would you buy a vaccine from 
Tweedledee? 
 
  
we think people have probably not 
made their own researches concerning 
blood clots without plateletes 
hence we will do 
haematology 101 
there are many places where we could begin 
we'll start with 
fibrinogen 
factorI 
is a glycoprotein complex 
 made in the liver 
it circulates in the blood of 
all vertebrates 
anything with a backbone 
animals, birds, reptiles, fish 
 
during vasculer injury 
during and shortly after  
damage to blood vessels 
it is converted enzymatically 
by thrombin 
thrombin ends in in 
like insulin 
because it's an emzyme 
to fibrin 
and then to a fibrinbased blood clot 
fibrin clots function primarily to occlude 
block up 
cover 
blood vessels  
to stop bleeding 
nature's own tornequet 
or haemostatic pad 
 
platelets are small colourless cell fragments in the blood 
platelets are essential to the formation of these clots 
low platelets... you can bleed to death 
 
platelets are an evolutionary development 
all vertebrates have fibrinogen 
only mammals have platelets 
so if the non mammals don't bleed to death 
humans with a low platlet count  
stand a fighting chance 
you may never have seen one of those 'phones 
designed for conference calls 
they look a bit like a three armed star fish 
so imagine a three aremed star fish 
lenses not spectacle lenses 
magnifying glass lenses 
all is well platelet is  
magnifying glass lens shaped 
a wound is sgnalled 
the platelets take on a  
three aremed star fish shape 
they stop gliding around like  
RBCs red blood cells 
and become a thicket 
and they become sticky 
sticking to nearby membranes 
and they set off the fibrinogen 
 
this is how it goes 
normally 
and that glue works with a surgeon's stitches 
to overcome gaps that would otherwise be 
too big 
 
at its widest 
a rouleau is 
1 a cylindrical pack of coins 
2 a coil or roll of ribbon 
forget that second roll of gaffer tape concept 
think of a stack of coins 
 
when we examine a blood sample 
we may smear a drop of blood across a microscope slide 
sometimes when we do 
the RBCs react by 
stacking up like a tower of coins 
The appearance of rouleaux may be artificially caused by 
poor preparation of the smear or by 
viewing the slide in a thickened area 
when rouleaux formation is truly present 
it is caused by an increase in 
cathodal proteins 
such as immunoglobulins and fibrinogen 
in the absence of a wound.... 
you get the first 
not fibrinogen 
but 
the RBC surface gets coated in 
antibodies 
 
you immunise a patient because 
you want them to 
create antibodies 
but 
and as we have suggested more likely 
if the RBCs a re old and knackered 
the antibodies you want 
may stick to the surfce of knackered RBCs  
and cause them to read ths as 
fibrinogen activation 
and form rouleaux 
and clots 
without any fibrinogen and that's  
agglutination 
and here we can go back to the 
bulk pack of gaffer tape or duct tape 
you buy sticky tape 
individually wrapped 
if you stack a number of rolls of tape 
if the glue is strong 
stronger than Sellotape 
the glue will ouse from the edges of the tape and 
stick the rolls together 
the rolls will not stick together in the way of 
Olympic rings 
if they don't overlap at the edges 
12th April 2021 
today 
to mark a bit of a let down 
sorry, less of a lockdown 
we are going to run through some of the information 
previously ignored 
we will start with
   
look! 
look what all that hand sanitizing has done for your 
chances of getting 
the shits 
the number of norovirus laboratory reports 
week 27 2019 to week 12 2020 
it was 5,549 
13 per cent higher than the previous 5 seasons 
2014/15 to 2018/19 
referencing 
www.foodsafetynews.com 
8 April 2020 
Norovirus was behind a foodborn outbreak 
in 2018 caused by eating take-out food in China 
one of the pieces of advice ignored by the UK government 
shall we say not advice but hint 
was KFC - Kentucky Fried Chicken 
retiring their slogan 
finger lickin' good 
we will have to battle through the consequences of  trade off 
between 
norovirus and destroying the 
packet snack industry - crisps, popcorn etc 
the study is in 
BMC Public Health 
it occured in  
Guangzhou, a city in Guangdong Province 
BMC is BioMed central limited 
a part of Springer Nature 
that's Springer and Nature 
Springer was German 
Nature was British 
so these are peer reviewed publications 
what they did here is take 
rectal swabs 
up yer bum not 
up yer nose 
and they concluded that 
people were getting norovirus because 
delivers were delivering  
take-away home delivery 
without 
sanitising their hands after 
taking a dump 
this s where the  
wet market theory of CoViD tranmission comes nto play 
in the case of norovirus the virus was transferred 
from deliverer to food to customer 
it was not in or on the food before  
the deliverers got their hands on it 
so all this stuff about bats and pangolins?? 
not necessary 
poor people move from the provinces and take up 
work such as food delivering 
and infect the food 
it is possible deliverers were sneezing onto the food 
but they were more likely sneezing into the doorways 
of customer homes 
we call it food poisoning but the infection  
almost certainly comes from 
the people preparing, delivering and serving the food 
by their simply breathing in the vicinity of 
previously uninfected customers 
and room space sharers 
 
 
  
 
and so 
the Easter 2021 view of the 
The Mighty Redcar 
interview wall 
  
and for expats.. 
the side entrance view 
Easter 2021 
of the Coatham Hotel Ballroom 
gone but not demolished 
  
  
our Ricker is having 
either  
 a senior moment 
or 
an ephiphany 
18 March 1968 
that's the Wikipaedia date 
and we have 
an insight into Ricker's family history 
not to say Ricker has been getting it wrong all these years 
just not quite right 
something called 
The Manchester and Liverpool District Banking Company 
was acquired by 
The National Provincial Bank 
and when our Ricker was a little boy 
his mam would sometimes find him 
sitting n the bottom of a 
wardrobe with the door closed 
and when she asked him what he was doing he would say 
I'm on the train 
going to London  
to see Peter 
Peter was our Ricker's big brother 
one of his two big brothers 
Peter Robson was a partner in 
a London City law firm called 
Maxwell Batley 
and Peter brokered the deal 
the deal that grew The national provincial 
we don't think Maxwell Batley still exists 
it was at one time a part of some other firm 
at any rate 
in the Robson family the tradition is that 
Peter formed the NatWest bank in 1963 
but to the world 
he started the process in 1963 and finished in 
March 1968 
as at present 
58.9 per cent of NatWest belongs to 
HM Government 
when our Ricker was 21 
for his birthday 
he got a small cheque from brother Peter 
maybe not very samll but not life changing 
it was a cheque drawn on an accout at 
Coutts Bank 
in 1987 Blue Arrow - a recruitment company 
was at the centre of a financial scandal when 
employees of 
National Westmnster Bank's  
investment arm 
County NatWest 
covered up a failed issue of 
£873m of new stock 
intended to finance the takeover of 
Manpower 
Blue Arrow was cleared of any wrongdoing 
this was a case that was so complicated that 
it brought into question  
jury trials for financial fraud 
some would say that  
The NatWest was OK until it became a part of 
The Royal Bank of Scotland 
and that the UK government had to buy it in the 
2008 crash because of  
what RBS had done to it 
what we are thinking is that 
our Ricker's big bro Peter was 
lifelong friends with 
David Robarts 
not the one on facebook 
Robarts was a lot older than Peter 
and at Maudlin - spelt Magdalen, Oxford 
Peter was at BNC 
a lot later 
Brasenose College 
all of that is an attempt at 
full disclosure 
before we write the following 
we have no link with GreenSill 
we are declaring a link with NatWest 
NatWest is not a popular bank 
there is a structural reason for this 
it is not primarily 
a retail bank 
it is primarily a commercial bank 
as such it has little understanding of 
salaries and pensions 
it regards its customers as 
self employed 
even when they aren't 
so it judges cash flow and not  
prospects 
when assessing the credit rating of its customers 
you can get a bigger overdraft elsewhere 
  
to this extent 
Greensill Capital 
was a rival of RBS NatWest 
beause they both provide provided 
factoring services 
in the grand scheme of things 
if you are BAE systems or somebody 
of that ilk 
you will get factoring services from HM governemt 
they are called 
export credit guarantees 
for SMEs  
real banks such as NatWest 
and financiers such as Greensill 
will offer factoring services 
essentially 
you sell goods to a customer without any idea 
as to whether they can pay for them 
and you sell the invoices to  
a factoring service 
at a discount 
and getting the money out of your customer 
becomes the problem of the factorng service 
essentially 
to a significant extent with NatWest 
and to a fatal extent with GreenSill 
they money never showed 
sp far as we can tell... 
cameron is saying to HMG - Richi Sunak 
you bailed out NatWest to preserve your  
precious jarbs 
why can't you bail out GreenSill? 
HMG had learned a lesson 
they let SSI crash and burn 
and Redcar is thriving 
whod'a thunk it? 
9th April 2021 
Ricker's dicentra is back 
it is not red 
so it isn't 
bleeding heart 
but it is a brave sentinal for 
better times 
and maybe called 
Dutchman's breeches 
at this point we want to introduce two important concepts 
relating to money 
the sort of money even lottery winners  
seldom see 
and these two concepts are the basis of the majority of 
magic money trees 
sweat equity 
is the unpaid labour employees and cash strapped 
entrepreneurs 
put into a project 
speaking about what is probably US law? 
sweat equity shares must be issued with a lock-in period of 
three years 
what it means 
you work for a company 
you may get some pay and expenses 
but you are in an agreement where 
you are accepting low pay 
on th understanding that 
you are being 
GIVEN for free 
shares in the company 
and that you will not be able to sell these shares 
for the lock-in period 
but in the end 
it will not be the company you were working for 
that pays your bonus 
it will be the people who 
buy from you the shares you were given for free 
on the other hand 
you may not have been given the best form of sweat equity shares 
there are voting shares  
there are non-voting shares 
but there are also 
redeemable shares 
redemptions are when a company requires shareholders to sell 
a portion of their shares back to 
the COMPANY that issued them 
it must be clear up front that they are  
redeemable or callable 
alongside this 
and in some cases as a reward bonus 
a company can  
issue a scrip 
a bonus scrip, a capitalized issue 
is an offer of free additional shares 
to existing shareholders 
in this case 
a company that is unable to 
pay a dividend to shareholders 
may 
give them free extra shares instead 
but this will probably - in the short term at least 
reduce the value of all shares in that class in that company 
it is being suggested that it is this type of shit that 
Greensil has been doing with Cameron 
to boost  
how shall we say it? 
Non-Redcar steelworks 
at the expense of  
Redcar located industry 
and the suggestion is that 
ex UK Prime Minister Cameron 
would get shares worth around 
70 million Great British Pounds 
if Greensil through their client 
Liberty Steel 
became the monopoly steel maker in the UK 
and pension funds would be buying those shares 
with workers' subs 
  
  
sometimes we wonder whether 
all politicians were  
sickly as a child 
and missed their entire education 
right about now 
we are wondering 
were the Number 10 team en mass 
off the day they did calendars 
beginning of week 1  
relax some lock down measures 
after three to four weeks 
guage effect 
decision on further relaxations 
taken at the end of week four 
but changes announced to take effect 
at the end of week 5 
week 4 to 5 a grace period to allow 
service providers to prepare 
here's the tricky bit 
do you count the next four week period to  
start from the end of the 4th week or the end of 
the 5th week 
it does seem to depend on the nature of the  
relaxations 
or in other words 
you have two things going on 
and they have a combined effect 
you have relaxations of lockdown 
and you have  
vaccination rollout plus improving weather 
the effect of a relaxation will be 
broadly 
the same at 
end of week 4 
and end of week 5 
overall 
it makes some sense to start the second 
four week clock 
at the point you decide the first 
relaxation passed off safely 
because you are not just measuring the effects of 
the lockdown relaxations 
you are measuring the level of safety 
for the population 
there does seem to be scope for an arguement of 
a week unneccesarily wasted 
for a desperate economy  
7th April 2021 
constant vigilance is wearing our Ricker down 
people who are good at networking get 
top jobs 
and end up on panels on TV  
busking 
we need to point something out  
before it gets legs... 
analogy time 
motor vehicle collision 
when it is not 
drunk driving 
it can be 
drug driving 
so accident with  normal levels of  
blood in the alcohol stream 
but it could be drugs 
when they say 
clots in presence of normal platlett levels 
they are not saying 
the clots occured because of the low lwvels of platletts 
they are saying  
clots DESPITE low platlette levels 
you need another new word 
agglutination 
agglutination is the process that occursif an 
antigen is mixed with its correspondng antibody 
called 
isoagglutination 
This term is commonly used in 
blood grouping 
This occurs in biology in two main examples 
The clumping of cells such as bacteria 
or red blood cells in the presence of 
an antibody or 
compliment 
the agglutinated cells can clog blood vessels 
the agglutinated cells also crack and their contents leak out in the body 
what we are saying 
what WE are saying is that 
if you delay making RBCs 
the haemoglobin polymerises 
clumps and bursts out of the RBC and 
attracts antibodies 
what the experts say is 
if you put a blood donation of the  
wrong blood group 
into a patient 
the blood will be attacked by your antibodies 
and agglutinate 
in these cases 
the agglutination is occuring in what we may call 
motorway services 
in the blood circulation 
in one sense 
the breakdowns are swapt off the motorway 
into the services car park 
but the bin men are pre-occupied with the 
infection or the innoculation 
and miss the routine collections 
  
when we are dealing with 
 violent pre-mature deaths of females 
we have very few cases to consider 
as a rule of thumb 
from the point of view of statistics 
to be 'valid' a medical trial has to involve 
at least 34 patients 
we have around 100 pre-mature unexplained female deaths a year 
and so some analysis is acceptable 
what we don't have is easy access information about these deathS 
and so we can list possible causes without 
quantifying proportions 
we had a case in the east of England 
of a man who felt that his use of sex workers had 
destroyed his life 
he became a serial killer who killed five sex workers 
before he was stopped 
for the most part the remainder can be divided into two groups 
first the domestic 
killed by somebody you share a home with 
there are three sub divisions here 
1 I am a failure and my partner and children will be better off dead 
2 I am a man and she deserves to die for disrespecting me so much 
3 where am I? is it Tuesday. God that's great shit 
 
the second major group is 
out on the pull 
picked up by a stranger 
happy days 
are you shure I'm supposed to take  
three of these pills? 
what we are saying here is 
certainly the two most high profile recent cases  
in the UK 
 is 
from external appearances 
woman gets picked up for sex 
goes willingly 
is offered drugs 
takes too much, dies 
man decides to 
dispose of the body 
rather than seek help 
then the wimin come along and say 
don't offer women advice 
that's blaming the victim 
and the advice is 
have sex with strangers but, 
don't take drugs from them 
 
we are about to set out some stuff about  
carbon dioxide and global warming 
we have a vested interest in clarity here 
this is the place - Teesside - where 
carbon capture and storage is suggested 
what we want to say is 
in the mid 20th century 
chemists worked out ways to produce 
plastics from hydrocarbons 
and much of Redcar's prosperity depended on this 
there was a locally famous PR guy whose name we may remember 
who said 
words to the effect 
the reason why ICI etc. made plastics 
non-biodegradable 
was because customers 
demanded excessively long shelf life 
for the plastic and for the goods wrapped in the plastic 
a second problem is that customers insist on 
being supplied with a range of  
different polymers 
that are almost impossible to sort 
for re-cycling 
when if they had not had the 
upper hand any customer has over a supplier who 
wants to promote something 
new fangled 
they would have said 
this is plastic 
all you can have is 
polyethylene 
adapt YOUR products to cope with 
one polymer 
we are not giving you 
ivory substitute 
teak substitute 
pine substitute 
cotton substitute 
etc 
we have re-cycling in mind 
they only had sales in mind and they were 
keen and resourceful 
here's the current issue 
we can't refer to chemical formulae 
because we are not writing for chemists 
so have patience 
imagine a centipede 
long body, lots of legs 
a head with teeth, on the body 
imagine polythene as  
a centipede 
the body is a string of carbon atoms 
the legs are hydrogen atoms 
the poly comes because 
to digress 
when our Ricker was very young 
his mam had a string of cheap plastic beads 
a neclace 
and you could alter the length 
make a neclace or using the same beads 
make a number of bracelets 
the beads were spheres with 
a hole opposite a knobbly bit 
they entrance to the hole was 
slightly smaller than the kbobbly bit 
so a knobbly bit could be 
forced into a hole and would not fall out 
but would articualte because 
beyond the entrance hte hole widened out 
and the knobbly bit was on a slightly narrower stalk 
so we have to juggle two analogies 
the centipede and the string of beads 
n the beads each bead had  
one hole and one knobbly bit 
a carbon atom is a bead with four holes 
and a hydrogen atom has one knobbly bit 
and so a methane 
or natural gas molecule is 
one carbon atom and four hydrogen atoms 
when we try to go on 
there is an immediate problem with this analogy 
imagine a set of beads that has a further component 
imagine the knobbly bits can 
either fit into a hole 
or they can 
hold hands 
when you 
crack 
the tar like residue from oil purification 
you can get 
ethylene 
ethane would be 
two carbon atoms 
each holding hands with the other 
and separately holding hands with 
three hydrogen atoms each 
we would call that 
C2H6 
two carbon atoms 
holding hands 
with two of their hands 
and each holding hands with two hydrogen atoms 
would be ethene 
or in old money 
ethylene 
C2H4 
because 
the two carbon atoms are each holding the other  
with two of their hands each 
so in polythene or 
polyethylene 
we have a centipede in which 
all the carbon atoms that make up the body 
are using two hands to hold on to the next carbon atom 
one each side 
and using two hands to hold on to one hydrogen atom each 
except for the 
head and tail carbon atoms that are 
holding on to three hyrdogen atoms 
polythene come sin grades 
depending on how long the centipede is 
all of this is history 
the thing with  
carbon capture and storage 
is that it leaves off at the point 
we have swapped 
hydrogen for oxygen in this methane 
we have taken out hydrogen and  
put in oxygen and got carbon dioxide 
and we have 
one carbon atom using two hands to 
shake the two hand of one oxygen atom 
and the other to shake the two hands of  
another oxygen atom 
hence 
CO2 
another diversion 
you will have heard of 
carbon monoxide poisoning 
how can 
CO exist? 
well it tries 
it is very unstable 
and enflammable 
it has three bonds 
two pi bonds and one sigma bond 
nah, me neither 
it is mostly produced by the burning of 
fossil carbon in 
a situation of 
insufficent oxygen 
in other words 
a natural gas furnace has to be vented 
partly to get rid of the 
carbon monoxide 
and partly to reduce the amount of 
carbon monoxide produced by ensuring  
the flame has enough oxygen to 
produce carbon dioxide and not carbon monoxide 
and it's toxic because it 
latches permanently not temporarily 
to haemoglobin in the blood 
rendering the haemoglobin 
unable to carry oxygen 
returning to carbon capture and storage 
the old time chemists figured out how to 
make use of 
ethylene 
today's chemists know that plants can make 
all sorts a rock 
sugars, starches, cellulose, lignin 
from carbon dioxide 
but today's chemists 
can't be arsed to figure out how to do that  
as an industrial process 
so they say 
pump it down into old mine workings 
and hope it don't escape 
CCand S 
 
apart from weather girl 
Lucy Verimasarmi 
our Ricker's current TV fave is 
Leanne Ford from a US home makeover show 
a strange home life that girl but 
very cute 
he's lost patience with 
Helen Stanley 
but Lucy ain't up to 
Trai Anfield in her pomp 
  
one of our Ricker's favourite  
Hitchhiker's Guide 
quotes is 
the best laid plans of mice and men 
can oft times gan awrye 
and that could be  
Douglas Adams quoting Robert Burns  
but we don't care 
the punch line is with the mice 
what have men get to do with it? 
and so to the chemistry of planet Earth 
if they could speak 
the plants may say 
what have animals got to do with it? 
photosynthesis 
plants use enzymes, chemiclas, structures 
to 
absorb carbon dioxide and convert it into 
structural materials 
and energy storage chemicals 
starch, cellulose, lignin 
so consider the starch 
mainly it is stored in seeds and tubers 
but whatever, it is an energy store 
to do its growing and living 
the plant needs energy 
it has no 
wind turbines or photovolteics 
it is all about the chemistry 
and a growing palnt 
converts carbon dioxide from the air into 
the likes of starch so long as  
the sun shines 
but all the time it is converting 
the likes of starch into 
carbon dioxide and energy 
hence 
put a plant into a sealed transparent container 
with light shining on it 
it reduces the carbon dioxide concentration in 
the air around it in the jar 
in the dark 
it increases the oxygen concentration in that air 
in the jar 
plants absorb carbon dioxide at high light intensities 
but at low light intensities 
all we see is the producton of oxygen 
when a plant takes carbon dioxide 
and condenses the carbon into complex carbon compounds 
oxygen is a waste product 
but when a plant 'burns' a startch to create energy 
as whn a seed has no leaves but has to have energy to germinate... 
it behaves like an animal 
animals eat complex carbon compounds and 
release carbon dioxide 
animals never release oxygen 
and so 
in terms of a  
carbon bank account 
when plants, animals, anything that has been alive 
dies 
in part or in whole 
it has carbon in its account 
as a part of its structure 
and here is the basis of the 
oil and gas industry 
over a long long time 
situations have occurred where 
plants and animals have died and  
taken their carbon account balances with them 
and they have been dumped into conditions 
particular conditions, normally with 
a lot of water and very little oxygen 
where nothing could live next to them and  
eat them 
and so they remain 
a bit like food in a deep freeze 
nothing can eat them but over time they 
undego  
chemical change 
and become simplified 
rendered into gas and oil 
by time and temperature and pressure 
in the normal scheme of things 
such deposits of dead things 
such mega compost heaps 
build up a pressure of 
methane - natural gas 
and under pressure it can escape 
 from the rocks that have built up 
over the top of it 
and then you get methane in the atmosphere 
and that is CH4 
carbon and hydrogen 
and in the sunlight 
it transforms into 
CO2 carbon and oxygen 
and both  
methane and carbon dioxide 
blanket the Earth 
causing natural global warming 
plants can recycle  
carbon dioxide but not methane 
so they ahve to wait for the sun to 
convert the methane into carbon dioxide 
so the oil and gas industry  
speeds up the process in two ways 
it releases trapped oil and gas far faster than 
the likes of earthquakes and pressure build up would 
and it converts the indigestible carbon compounds to 
carbon dioxide 
fatere than sunlight could 
and thus it overwhealms the plants capacity to 
convert CO2 into solid compounds of carbon 
and the levels of carbon dioxide rise 
and the blanketing effect increases 
and we get  
global warming 
and carbon dioxide is a much better insulator than 
methane 
or oxygen 
or nitrogen 
1st April 2021 
some time ago our Ricker had a meeting with 
the people who wanted to devlop the 
Dogger Bank wind farm 
there was some banter about  
them never having persuaded one of the bosses to 
make a site visit 
one thing that didn't come up was that 
if your installation is 20 to 50 miles off shore 
you can't  
nip out in a rib or a dinghy 
to check it over 
In Coatham Bay we see 
27 wind turbines 
and mostly one will be stilland have a boat at the base 
what hasn't been made much of to date is 
when there are hundreds of these things out there 
there will have to be 
accommodation rigs 
people living out there 
just exactly the same as the people who  
live out there to tend 
gas and oil rigs 
no job losses there 
 
  
Is this an April fool's scam 
Pleeeese don't go to 
Middlesbrough 
looking for a B & Q 
there is no B & Q in Middlesbrough 
There is a B & Q in Stockton 
There is a B & Q on  
Cleveland Retail Park 
in Greater Eston 
in Redcar and Cleveland 
and it has a 
TS6 post code 
long long time ago 
I can still remember 
there WAs a B & Q in Middlesbrough 
on Cannon Park industrual estate 
sort of opposite Leaders 
sort of behind the  
Post Office Sorting Ofice 
 
  
  
  
  
31st March 2021 
nobody here would classify themselves as an 
investigative journalist 
however 
we do continue to have questions about 
Redcar's new Cinema on the Sand 
first of all we understand that 
Pebbles and Bambam 
is a front for 
Sir Robert McAline 
base in a new town in the north of London called 
Hemel Hempstead 
the third worst town to live in in the country 
Billingham in the weeds 
two things about McAlpines 
on the one hand they built the 2012 Olympic Stadium 
AKA the 'Appy 'Ammers 
and are building HS2 
and secondly 
they have made some apology for running, funding 
a major construction industry 
black listing syndicate 
if they can build the Olympic stadium 
why are they running around site with a 
mobile crane 
how many  
tower cranes 
that could reach the entire site 
are rotting away in a compound in 
Hertfordshire? 
so far all we can see is a bit of 
off season trade for  
contractors' bed and breakfast 
they even got the concrete blocks shipped to 
Ipswich instead of the Tees 
and ran them up the motorway 
Tory MP in Hemel Hempstead 
Tory MP for Ipswich 
so much for handing on to the 
red wall painted blue 
 
there is one point of interest 
one section of the 
planning permission 
for the Cinema on the Sand 
permits the construction of a 
temporary sea wall 
this could be the sheet pilling 
separating the site from the Esplanade 
but it could also mean that the 
concrete bund 
around the site 
is designed to be 
removable 
if the complex is in future to be expanded 
as in the addition of a 
pier  
or 
marina 
29th March 2021 
  
so far  the seaward wall lower level complete 
lots of progress 
lots of steel and concrete 
  
  
this is a tree stump in the  
Coatham Drowned Forest 
  
  
the straggle of rocks? 
that's a quize question 
the straggle of rocks that are not local 
not shale, not boulder clay? 
they are the balast from a  
shipwreck  
and the other stump is  
not a tree stump from the forest  
but the prow of a wreck 
 
  
we are very impressed 
today there was a worldwide 
switchoff of illumination of public buildings 
sell it as a strike against energy use 
promote it as 
this is what will happen if we stop  
digging up the fossils 
genius 
just what the BBC is paid for 
  
we are trying to remember 
Ricker is trying to remember who wrote 
my boy Jack 
could have been Rudyard Kipling but we'll check 
first though a stat 
as at 2017 
the rate of death in childbirth was 
211 maternal deaths - deaths of mothers whilst giving birth 
per 100,000 live births 
that - in 2015 - in The United States was 
14 deaths per 100,000 live births 
in the UK - no date - the rate is  
one maternal death per 10,000 pregnancies 
10 per 100,000 
we suppose that pregnant women and 
those contemplating starting a family 
fall into three groups 
1 concerned about risk and pain 
2 wishing everthing to be 
as natural as possible 
3 wanting this important event to be 
as private as possible 
there is a parallel here with people's  
women's views about conception and sex 
how far is advanced society away from a 
sort of version of Ring or Alexa 
that women have watch over them 
every time they have sex 
to make sure that they and their partner are 
doing it right? 
sex as well as childbirth in above category 1 
is it possible that advice to men will become 
don't go near a woman unless you are certain that 
the cameras are rolling? 
the point being at the very least to have some objective sense of 
to what extent would the average person believe that 
this man had consent 
for Western citizens of today 
it is difficult to watch documentaries about - say - 
the D day landings and hear that strategists 
planned for certain groups to 
distract the enemy by 
embarking on suicide missions 
it's probably a Monty Python era shetch 
War office has decided that right now we need 
a pointless gesture of self sacrifice 
get up in  a crate 
fly over enemy lines 
don't come back 
I could come back 
no, don't come back 
whole waves of allies were deployed in that way 
on D day 
the battle of Waterloo was won 
on the playing fields of Eton 
 
we can't give an attribution 
when you're the father of boys 
you worry 
when you'r the father of girls 
you prey 
the stats don't bear that out 
there are risks to being young and female 
the risks involved in being 
young and male are 
four to ten times greater 
there has been a recent trend 
that has been deeply criticised 
when somebody dies 
we are beginning to accept that it is the 
connections who survive who are the 
proper object of concern 
courts have been very reluctant to entertain 
the concept of  
death during consensual rough sex 
we, WE, would say 
any form of sex that is 
less rough than 
childbirth 
is concievably 
consensual 
in a sense  
activity that is in no way similar to childbirth 
isn't sex 
isn't something the female body is 
designed for 
and that would include 
stabbing and strangulation 
  
on the other hand 
we have to consider something else 
something a good deal more troubling 
whatever actually happened in the movie 
begin with the concept of the movie 
Indecent Proposal 
have sex with me 
purely for the money 
consider two people 
on the one hand 
Mr Pierpoint 
we believe the last UK 
executioner 
consider two other people 
three 
1 a person who is so mentally ill 
they crave death 
2 a person who s absolutely certified to 
die whatever within a month 
3 somebody willing to  
pay good money to kill somebody 
with impunity 
 
almost everybody would say 
we must do all we can to protect the 
nutter from themselves 
but should we let an honest death 
go to waste? 
we sometimes hear of the concept of 
death by cop 
in places where all police are armed 
people do set out to provoke police into  
shooting them 
what about 
death by rapist 
the idea of going out in a 
blaze of glory 
the most famous rape victim of the year 
when a man pulls a sex partner 
how much care does he need to take 
that she is not out to 
provoke him into killing her? 
these cases are very rare 
but if the man - the defendent - has some hope that 
his side of the story will get a fair hearing 
is he more likely to - shall we say - ensure that his 
partner's remains are treated with due respect 
the matter is promptly reported 
and her body is not 
found in the woods in a massive sand bag 
for the sake of the people who knew the deceased 
in life 
if the damage stopped at the point of death 
that Captain Tomm or whoever 
who walked a bit and lived to nearly 100 
and raised millions for the government 
he did a sort of 
out in a blaze of glory by taking 
a holiday on a tropical island  
without getting a vaccine first 
 
nobody is guilty of manslaughter for 
failing to stop him 
 
  
and so we come to 
chief constable as... 
holiday camp entertainment manager 
this is where 
get thee to a nunnery 
meets 
tail wagging the dog 
the recent uprising has been of 
guest students 
complaining about 
laddish behaviour  
and 
slut shaming 
why should a foreign oligarch 
expect to send a daughter or niece 
who is at a loose end 
to a British Public School 
and expect it to be being run like a 
19th century nunnery? 
woman beware woman 
not foreign girl at risk of 
being snogged or upskirted by 
lusty British rugger player 
eye candy in pupae 
at risk of 
daddy's secret police 
reporting that she's found out what lives between her legs 
26th March 2021 
we are very sorry to have seen the goodbyes for 
The Dutchess of Middleton One Row 
she is a North East  legend 
local news presenter 
and sadly now not at all in the best of health 
we wish Pam well 
  
long long long ago 
our Ricker's head of department 
took him aside and said 
your personal tutor, 
he has diagnosed mental health problems 
the implication being 
the student wa supposed to 
make allowances for the fact that  
the bloke with the power to make or break his career 
was an out and out nutter 
and 
a bloke who had a German mother 
and wrongly thought Ricker had a Jewish mother 
and oh what the hell 
democracy 
definition 35a 
the lunatics have taken charge of the asylum 
why would anybody train to be a 
consultant psychiatrist 
if on a daily basis 
they would be second guessed by 
a bunch of  
down with the people 
ex car park attendants 
who had had police uniforms  
chucked at them 
perhaps Ricker got off easy 
he lost his career 
the head of department 
died in post 
of a heart attack 
 
we had a quick look for drop out rate fro vet students 
vet students stay the course 
recently qualified vets - we are not so sure 
it is said that a lot of  
female teenagers choose vet school because 
the patients can't talk back 
the problem is 
their owners can 
and these days 
being a medic is more and more like being a vet 
you don't have trouble with the patient
you have trouble with the old biddy who 
put her hnd up when half cut 
in the local Labour club 
and found herself 
chair of the adult social services committee 
half cut - drunk 
25th March 2021 
today we intend mking an example of 
The Princess Royal 
the UK Princess Ann 
of her many characteristics we will concentrate on 
one particular atribute 
she has had a lot to do with  
horses 
and she has had a lot of 
financial security 
we are not sure how much 
police protection 
she has had down the years but she 
had a run in with a potential kidnapper 
or assassin 
we probably won't research that today 
there were no horses involved 
she has one particular characteristic, habit 
that she shares with a lot, a great many women 
who have never had 
police protection 
ever since the invention of the  
motor vehicle 
people have not ridden their horses 
from one sporting, equestrian, even to another 
The Princess Royal 
is the figure head of the legion of women who 
need an HGV or LGV driving licence 
in order to be able to legally drive their 
privately owned 
horse box 
these are well connected women  
and they have overcome the prejudice that says 
we will repeatedly fail you in your driving test 
because 
you are not the sort of person 
we want to see driving trucks 
good for them and one day we may even see 
women driving cars in Saudi Arabia 
the trouble is 
careers advisors 
a long long time ago 
probably to do with some enquiry relating to 
college course entry 
our Ricker got a letter on letter headed note paper 
from some sort of college principal 
that had under his name 
so many letters denoting qualifications   
that they took up two lines 
of text across the letter 
mostly about engineering 
we have talked  - written - about 
Vera Baird 
being a middle aged barrister who was not 
a QC 
she got onto the women only shortlist 
for MP for Redcar 
and was elected 
immediately she was appointed QC 
Queen's Councel 
nothing to do with anything she had done in court 
two reasons 
as an Mp in a safe Labour seat 
she would never again need to tout for business 
as a barrister 
secondly 
it opened up roles such as  
Solicitor General 
so we contrast on the one hand the college principal  
and Vera Baird 
given 'honourary' qualifications on the grounds 
they would never need them 
so it was safe to let them out 
and on the other hand 
people who need a qualification 
topursue their daily activities 
but despite competence 
being denied the qualification because 
cn't you afford to  
employ some donkey jacketed 
or poice uniformed  thug 
to drive for you 
and get him off the unemployment register? 
we will deviate here 
once upon a time 
motors were expensive 
in the hands of responsible people 
Toad of Toad Hall excepted 
and they were required 
after the abolition of the 
man walking in front with a red flag 
to have 
an audible means of approach 
a horn 
but buses wee driven by 
working class oiks 
and they were not the sort of people 
permitted to be so bombastic as to sound a horn 
so early busses did not have to things 
ahorn 
insurance 
council vehicles didn't have insurance because 
the councils had more money than the insurance companies 
and insurance only covered thecost of vehicle repairs 
not billions in whiplash claims  
a bus smacked yer car 
the bus garage would fix it 
 
this latest epidemic has shown us 
when we are forced to 
break down the clearly defined 
areas of doubt and uncertainty 
so beloved of unions 
we find out just how much 
utter traditionalist bollocks 
has lurked within the  
entirely separated 
sub-professions in medicine 
two things have happened since the NHS began 
medicine has become bigger and more challenging 
and 
more staff has become dumber staff and more 
computer says no 
there is a challenge here 
how can you have an integrated computerised  
patient management system 
when different departments and sub-professions 
have deeply contradictary traditions? 
for an example 
an eye department may well have 
optometrists and ophthalmologists and eye surgeons 
if a person qualifies as an optometrist 
they will have a knowledge of optics  
not required of an ophthalmologist 
and in a sense 
if re-trained as an ophthalmologist, to get on and be 
accepted as an ophthalmologist 
they need to pretend  
they never knew that stuff 
that stuff about lenses and such 
then there is the person who 
qualified as an optometrist becomes 
a hospital optometrist 
they don't have a medical background 
and they are supposed to  
forget their optical background 
and they end up 
signing off on the patient's test results 
test that had been done by 
a nursing auxiliary 
so when the patient's case  
falls outside the remit of the 
test equipment's  
Artificial Intelligence 
the patient gets the wrong treatment 
and in this case 
ths epidenic 
we have environmental health officials 
out ranking 
medical scientists 
that's medical scientists, 
not medical laboratory scientists 
the latter being technicians 
24th March 2021 
our Ricker is struggling for clarity today 
all the time seeking analogies and 
cultural references 
there is or was a game show in the US 
popular in Canada 
where amateur performances which were deemed 
rubbish 
were cut short by the sounding of a gong 
hence the term 
Gong Show 
most of these performances were  
under rehearsed and chaotic 
hence the term - particularly in Canada 
referring to anything chaotic as 
a right gong show 
so much is clear 
also clear is the Uk radio show 
Just a Minute 
a lot of very talented  
improv comics 
improvisational comedians 
challenged to speak about a topic for one minute 
without 
hesitation, repetition or deviation 
what Ricker is struggling with is a show slot that was 
an amalgam of these two 
the answer is 
Hughie Green's Double your money 
not quite 
there was a show where 
the host would ask a series of questions and 
the contestant would be 
gonged out if they answered 
yes or no 
and there are classic clips where  
little old ladies are asked 
are you Janice Webster 
and they answer 
yes  
and get gonged out 
at the first question 
essentially 
political interviews have become modelled on 
this form of gong show 
somebody has a USP 
a unique selling point 
like 
walking up and down the garden at the age of 99 
whilst being a war veteran 
they shoot to fame 
and they are destroyed as soon as  
somebody discovers they are not a 
latter day Jess Yates 
Paula Yates was the  
Jooles Holland partner presenter in  
the orginal Later 
a music show produced in 
Newcastle-upon-Tyne 
and called 
The Tube 
Paula Yates was raised as  
Jess Yates daughter 
but she was actually  
Hughie Green's daughter 
and so no proof there that 
Jess Yates - a TV music presenter himself 
had ever done the naughty 
so the current gong show is 
Light of the World 
until 
it is proved that you had ever made reference to sex  
on Teesside we have an 
arrogant twat of a doctor who 
has been a local MPand is standing again 
he can't be criticised for being 
an arrogant twat 
be he has been criticised for referring to somebody as a 
MILF 
Ricker's mate Kevin is married to a MILF 
the concept of MILF relates to not 
demanding a virgin bride 
Kevin married a divorcee with a grown up 
son and daughter 
to Kevin she was and is a MILF 
a Mom I'd Like to Fuck 
arrogant twat - good 
straight white guy - bad 
 
and here's the distinction 
most politicians are contestants in 
a gong show 
Donald Trump is or was 
the host in a gong show 
a somewhat longer career 
and senior journalists recognised 
a fellow member of the 
arrogant twat club 
and played along 
23rd March 2021 
there are words that have a variety of definitions 
and mountain is one such 
a mountain is a steep high hill 
we rarely say 
we have a hill to climb 
we say we have a mountain to climb 
mountaineers 
as opposed to rock climbers 
probably think of a mountain as being 
over 10,000 feet high 
Everest is the highest mountain on earth and is 
29,032 feet or 8,848.86 metres high 
however 
in the normal run of things 
a hill is a mountain if it has steep sides and is 
300 metres high 
and here is the first difference 
that height for Everest is 
height above sea level 
that 300 metres for a mountain is 
height above the surrounding land 
the top of Roseberry Topping is 
320 metres above sea level 
but the road in the valley below is 
100 metres above sea level 
so if you climb the topping 
you climb 230 metres 
not 300 metres 
so you can take your choice 
by at least two definitions 
Roseberry Topping is not a mountain 
by one definition it is 
if you are flying over it... 
you had better know that it is 320 metres above sea level 
somebody will know 
which mountain climbs highest straight up from sea level 
in a way that would be the tallest if not the highest mountain 
and so... 
Roseberry Topping is 
prominent and accessible 
however, there are  
fifteen 
points of land in the area 
that are higher above sea level than Roseberry Topping 
they are on 
Urra Moor 
the highest of the 
North York Moors 
it is 454 metres above sea level 
it is on the 
 Lyke Wake Walk 
and 
The Cleveland Way 
and is the fourteenth most prominent hill in England 
the actual Trig Point summit of Urra Moor 
is called  
Round Hill 
and is as boring as its name 
it does not have the cliff face that  
the topping has 
 
  
Benjamin Franklin 
we must, indeed, all hang together or, 
most assuredly, we shall 
all hang separately 
this was said at or about the signing of 
The American Declaration of Independence 
in a way 
new UK police legislation is designed to 
prevent people from hanging together 
the modern day option is 
a peaceful demonstration on the streets 
or  
an on-line petition 
it is a reality that if your defintion of 
democracy 
is 
anybody can be king 
you get people of limited skill sets in 
positions of power 
some people thought that four and a half years ago 
Donald Trump 
who likes winning would have said 
at his inauguration 
I won 
I'm done 
but he pressed on to take up the post 
we have  
a security operative as President of Russia 
we have  
a journalist as Prime Minister of the UK 
id your definition of democracy is 
anybdy can have the top job 
and deploy any powers they choose to keep it 
no matter how illequipped they prove to be for the role 
we are going beyond populism 
we are gon into  
a game of chance 
can somebody who is popular 
prove also to be  
skilled? 
in a sense it's like 
recruiting medical students through a 
neat handwriting contest 
 
but this is not the element of hanging together we 
want to propose today 
we have said that Redcar in the guise of Coatham 
has secured a new sand cinema 
and a new beach hotel 
there is enthusiasm  in the town for the idea of 
a replacement pier  
here's the thing 
beyond the discovery that the project is  
a snap from a civil engineering point of view 
if you build a pier out from 
the new cinema out a ways across the Scars
you could enclose a  
marina 
and here is the hanging together bit 
Hartlepool has a marina 
Hartlepool may say we don't want competition from 
an upstart marina in Coatham 
BUT 
consider people who would consider a boat trip 
from Hartlepool to Coatham 
and back 
quite enough adventure for one day 
where do people with boats in Hartlepool marina 
sail to? 
a lot of people making short trips 
would do more for the local economy than 
a few folk tripping off to Norway once of twice a year 
this is the problem with 
Whitby tourism 
lovely harbour 
great fish and fries 
if you pay for a boat trip 
they take you through the breakwaters 
a couple of hundred metres out to sea 
a couple of hundred metres along the shore to be 
off the nearst beach 
and bring you back again 
21st March  
  
there is a company that owns  
The King's head 
in Newton-under-Roseberry 
that;s Roseberry Topping 
the hill that isn't a mountain 
apprently called the Inn Collection Group 
and they are proposing to build a new 
Coatham Hotel 
next to TunedIn at the 
Coatham Enclosure 
on Majuba Road 
not quite  
boutique 
44 rooms 
so far we have had  
The Mungle Jungle 
and Coatham Coast Guard store 
demolished to make way 
the Coast Guard are now located at 
The Fire Station on the Trunk Road 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
this is approximately where the Coast Guard store was 
  
  
  
it's a very long tme since there was an exchange of letters between 
our Ricker and HRH The Prince of Wales 
the reply, not signed by HRH, will be somewhere in  
Ricker's rat's nest 
from memory it was about hydrogen 
and the point was 
HRH hydrogen production is very energy intensive 
and Ricker just simply saying 
regard hydrogen as a battery 
the point being 
a good battery will 
take, store, and discharge on demand 
a lorra lorra energy 
this is a good thing for a battery to be 
energy intensive 
and so this 'snag' with wter to hydrogen and oxygen and back 
keeps cropping up in discussions about 
synthetic fuels 
and so another far fetched analogy 
say you are marooned on a remote Scottish island 
you want to call for help and keep in touch with the world 
you need to keep your 'phone charged 
lets say there is a generator at the cottage you have found 
if you turn the spindle, the axle, of the generator 
and you have one or more of those 
external, plug in, external batteries for the 'phone 
but you have no fuel for the generator 
you do have a windmill 
when the wind blows you can get the windmill to drive the generator 
and it will charge the 'phone and the extra batteries 
all is good 
but the wind drops 
you are becalmed for weeks on end 
you have a good length of fairly light weight rope and a pully 
perhaps off you boat 
you can get power 
you can wind the rope around the pulley on the generator 
run it up to the roof of the cottage 
pass it over the other pulley and  
tie a roof slate or tile to the end of the rope 
as the tile falls it will turn the pulley on the genertor 
and charge your 'phone 
onc the system is set up 
every time you sant to run the generator 
all you have to do is tie on another roof tile 
and let it drop 
you are not expending energy to turn the dynamo 
you are exploiting gravity 
you are harvesting the energy old time builders 
invested in carrying the tiles up onto the roof 
you percieve the process as 
not being very energy intensive 
but it is, when viewed as a whole, over time 
however unreliable the wind is 
it blows because the earth spins and the sun shines 
nobody makes it blow 
and whatever anybody does 
the earth will continue to spin and the sun will 
continue to shine 
but eventually there will be no tiles left on the roof 
there will be no fossil fuels 
and we need to be ready 
 
  
sometimes it is really disappointing 
just how little cut through 
some ideas have 
people often have a sentimental attachment to 
what they have had 
and are completely blind-sided to 
long establshed technologies that they 
have read about but never actually owned 
had in their hands 
sometimes the familiar technology could have, say 
60 per cent effectiveness 
and the new technology could have 
95 per cent effectiveness 
and a lorra lorra people would say 
the new system is not 100 per cent effective 
so it's not worth the bother of changing 
when you want to launch a space craft 
you do the heavy lifting with 
rockets 
it is a bit complicated right here but 
the only rockets that really matter 
that are not publicity stunts 
are 
the rockets that launch 
nuclear weapons 
and they launch from 
submarines 
the first stage of launching a 
nuclear warhead 
is to get the rocket out of the boat 
and through the water to the air above 
nuclear submarines are sturdy 
but they do not have the durability of a 
space rocket launch pad 
and there are people living on that boat 
somehow you have to get the missile way above the 
 water and the submarine 
before you set off the rockets 
the actual method is probably secret 
but the problem is obvious 
once you think about it 
so far as we know 
nuclear submarines don't tow launch pads 
around in their wake 
despite all the sob stories about 
ruined engines and such 
people have taken to 
diesel as a substitute for petrol 
very well indeed 
diesel is around twenty per cent cheaper than petrol 
and that somehow clinches the deal 
LPG is half the price of petrol 
liquified petroleum gas 
but it hasn't tken off at all 
thre are three fuels available on the forecourt 
diesel, petrol, LPG 
the difference is 
an LPG vehicle is a dual fuel vehicle 
it runs of either - at the flick of a switch 
LPG or petrol 
perhaps there are  
LPG or diesel versions?? 
more versatility, much greater cost savings 
but no takers 
that is the history of automotive fuel 
very interesting 
people roll up and buy the cheap stuff 
not the very cheap stuff 
and not the premium fuel - petrol 
so far as we know people always justify buying diesel 
on the grounds that it is cheaper 
but mega cheap does not interest them 
is LPG too cheap to inspire confidence? 
perhaps we like a discount 
but 
we are suspicious of a bargain 
we now want to return to our nuclear submarine 
but we want to consider not the nuclear warhead 
but 
a satelite 
a space ship 
consider those space trip developments 
the passenger vehicle is lifted 
 through the atmosphere 
by a conventional aircraft 
and then launched by rocket power 
into space 
what we have here is 
fuel plus air gives energy 
but beyond the atmosphere  
there is no air 
no air means no oxygen 
and so further progress requires 
a two component 'fuel' 
one component to be burned 
the other to provivde the oxygen 
and so it is 
once you are in a space craft in space 
you can get pwere from 
photovoltaics 
solar cells 
but you can get power from a stack of 
fuel cells 
three types of cell 
solar  - an array 
electrochemical - a battery 
fuel cells - a stack 
in space there's  
no kind of atmosphere 
no free oxygen 
when satelites carry and use 
fuel cells 
they have to carry fuel - usually hydrogen 
and oxygen 
fuel cells are less than 50 per cent efficient 
at producing electricity 
they also produce heat 
just as a diesel or petrol engine does 
if you are in a spacecraft 
and your activities dictate that your solar cells 
are not always pointed at the sun 
you may use solar power derived electricity to 
split water into oxygen and hydrogen 
and store them so that they can be fed to 
fuel cells to make electricity 
when the sun isn't shining on your solar cells 
they bin dooin it for decades 
up there 
if your fuel cell is in a ground vehicle 
the vehicle is surrounded with/by air 
air that is free and  you don't have to carry around 
and so you can 
get away with 
just carrying the hydrogen and not the oxygen 
BUT,br.
the fuel cells get very hot 
just like a petrol or diesel engine 
and air contains 
80 per cent nitrogen 
and if you get a mixture that is 
a load of oxygen and a load of nitrogen 
that hot 
the nitrogen gets singed 
conbined with the oxygen 
and the vehicle does not produce 
only water 
it produces water and oxides of nitrogen
when diesel engines produce them 
hence 
for congested spaces 
for indoor vehicles 
in the likes of warehouses 
carrying both the oxygen and the hydrogen 
and not letting any nitrogen anywhere near  
hot oxygen 
is the formula for a  
ZERO emissions vehicle 
and so we move to 
the distinction between 
blue hydrogen 
and 
green hydrogen 
green hydrogen is 
water plus energy equals oxygen plus hydrogen 
oxygen plus hydrogen equals water lus energy 
blue hydrogen is 
methane CH4 plus oxygen equals hydrogen plus CO2 
methane is natural gas 
it is a carbon atom surrounded by 4 hydrogen atoms 
carbon dioxide is 
a carbon atom linked to two oxygen atoms 
producing blue hydrogen 
releases carbon dioxide 
it does not provide, produce, oxygen 
and so when we put blue hydrogen into a  
fuel cell 
either we take the oxygen from the air amd 
produce oxides of nitrogen 
or we have to use a process such as 
air fractionation 
to separate oxygen and nitrogen from the air 
and feed only oxygen to the fuel cell 
the upshot is 
we can have 
blue hydrogen with little investment 
but as new plant is commissioned 
it should produce green hydrogen 
nobody should be contemplating building 
new plant to convert methane into 
hydrogen and carbon dioxide 
new plant should take 
electrical energy to  
split water into hydrogen and oxygen 
 
19th March  
It has to be said 
for some people, the likes of our Ricker 
there has to have been a dilemma 
on CoViD vaccines 
jumping the queue 
being reluctant 
so this is the compromise  
our Ricker had the Astra Zenica jab today 
17th March 2021  
some of the details about fertility are vague 
one thing we don't know about figures for is 
how soon after giving birth 
can you fall pregnant? 
the accepted time scale is 6 weeks 
less if not breast feeding... 
many cultures have a tradition of 
post partum confinement 
women are suppored to stay home for a period 
after giving birth 
is this to avoid a bounce back pregnancy
or 
to allow time for mother-baby bonding? 
the new wave consideration is 
should we expect women who are 
trying for a baby 
be expected to self isolate? 
in a culture free world 
all women of  
child bearing age 
who are not trying for a baby 
should be expected to be 
on the pill 
if they are too ill to take the pill 
perhaps they should be self isolating anyway 
and thus 
a woman who 
pulls whilst walking down a street 
should not be at risk of 
unwanted pregnancy 
the point we are driving at here is the  
drive from certain quarters to 
expand the concept of rape to include 
seduction 
the idea that consent 
is revokable 
revokable consent is not consent 
some people only need to  
try for a baby 
for a handfull of weeks 
some people are at it for years 
should those people who are constantly 
trying for a baby be on the loose anyway 
it is perfectly reasonable to say 
sex cannot be rape 
unless it involves 
breaking and entering 
breaching somebody's  
trying for a baby confinement 
all trades have become accustomed to  
special arangements for  
home visits to the shielding 
shielding to avoid  
pregnancy by the wrong partner 
is post CoViD viable 
 
  
perhaps it's the onset of his second childhhod 
but our Ricker is experiencing things long forgotten 
he is waking up 
bleary eyed 
waking up needing a wee while to 
get things into focus 
and that leads us on to a Sam 
Ricker is old enough to be one of those people who 
got into computers because that was something 
clever people did 
the Sam is 
once upon a time when somebody asked you what you did 
if you said 
I'm in computing 
not IT then 
their eyes would glaze over 
later if the person said 
I understand you are in IT 
the computer expert's eyes would glaze over 
IT has joined the long list of 
jarbs in which to  
park morons 
these days 
there's a fault 
insert a voicemail stating we are 
working on it 
job done 
 
16th March 2021  
Straker & Love 
made white facing bricks at 
Brancepeth Colliery, Willington, County Durham 
our Ricker lived around those parts  
for three years when he was a student at 
Durham University 
and he can't remember his address 
it was 1, Cross Street 
but it wasn't Sunderland Bridge 
it definitely wasn't Hett 
there was this famous fashon designer bloke 
who grew up in Hett 
that wasn't our Ricker 
so we have to suppose that people 
perhaps the Pease family 
digging for coal 
found white brick clay 
anyway 
we are thinking... 
those bricks stamped PEASE 
perhaps they were made by Straker & Love 
  
  
This wall is the original wall of 
either  
Church House 
or 
White House School 
associated with 
Christ Church Coatham 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Christ Church Coatham 
has a lych gate 
apparently not a lot of churches have one of them 
and the red brick building over the road is 
the version of 
Coatham C of E school where our Ricker started out on 
his education 
now housing association accommodation 
 
15th March 2021 
there will be statistics about where 
 industrial accidents happen 
one leading example is the small 
factory or workshop where the manager takes a 
holiday and the workforce take the opportunty to 
prove to themselves that 
all that health and safety stuff is 'nonsense' 
here's the thing 
those under mangers have a lot in common with 
police officers 
cut the clever crap 
don't do it if there is a risk 
don't indulge in 
risk assessments 
shut down, go home, buy it from the Chinese 
we are located near a major industrial complex 
they don't let the police or fire service on site 
one day there was a gala on the Trunk Road Rec 
it's next to the fire station 
the fire service rolled out a fire tender 
Wilton International 
brought a 
mobile monitor 
the mobile monitor was 
half as wide again and half as long again  
as the fire truck 
the fire fighters made themselves scarce 
we are very sure that no serving police officer 
was alive, lived through 
The Blitz 
every time there is an industrial incident 
not here, the wooden tops have more sense 
the police say 
keep your doors and windows closed 
some people have toughened glass in their windows 
some people have laminated glass in their windows 
people in London in the blitz had 
tape on their windows 
some people in the blitz were killed by flying glass 
because they kept their windows closed and they  
weren't taped, tpughened or laminated 
doesn't stop the fuck wit cops telling people to 
close their doors and windows 
and so 
to advice on personal safety.... 
waste of space 
worse than useless 
we could go on 
the proper advice is 
stay away from doors and windows 
you won't get that from the filth 
  
we see an analogue of  
natural selection 
in the mechanisms of the state 
the selective pressure is 
hold tight to nurse 
for fear of something worse 
the police have evolved 
from pigs - bestial 
to pig shit - thick as 
because  
of a fear that any attempt at reform would 
create an 
inter regnum of outright chaos 
but we have to ask 
thirty years ago... 
would the met have hired a 
fully formed adult psycho? 
idiots, woodentops, yes 
but out and out psychos is new 
this chap  
this agent provocateur 
was hired two years ago 
and to all appearances his was a case of 
on the inside pissing out 
not sacked and on the outside pissing in 
a transfer from 
the provinces... 
not internal exile in the Lake District 
but hiding in plain sight in 
London 
 
13th March 2021  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 
12th March 2021  
Charlie Chaplin's 
first major movie was 
The Kid 
in the first act he adopts a foundling child 
in the second act we are five years on 
Charlie is a jobbing glazier 
he roams streets where the windows are the 
sash and mullion type 
the overall window is made up of individual panes 
that are around one foot by a foot and a half 
Charlie carries a wooden frome on his back 
and that contains sheets of glass of appropriate size 
his adopted foundling runs down a street and 
throws stones at windows 
Charlie wanders down the street 
and offeres to do the repairs 
and so the the UK police force 
crime figures flagging 
hire a bunch of psychopaths  
to liven life up a bit 
the history of this century in the UK is 
make something illegal 
something entirely everyday 
people stop doing it 
soooooooo 
the historic cases units 
prosecuting people for doing things at a time when they 
weren't CONSIDERED illegal 
even if the letters of the law is vague enough 
that they can now be interpreted as illegal 
and so 
ambulance chasing lawyers are not 
charged wth importuning 
or being vexatious litigants  
because... 
that would kill an industry and 
cost jarbs 
nd the classic case is? 
the London congestion charge 
designed as a money spinner 
and resulting in traffic calming 
 
11th March 2021  
we want at this point to remark about 
the fact that 
RBCs red blood constituents 
last around 110 days in use and are 
then recycled 
we feel the need to point out that 
when an RBC is part its  
recycle by date 
it will loose its  
hydrodynamic toroidal or doughnut shape 
and begin to resemble the cells  
characteristic of 
sickle cell disease 
sickle disease is essentially 
the polymerisation of the haemoglobin S.
Essentially, people with sickle 
have RBCs with a drastically shorter 
safe usable life span 
in either sickle or CoViD 
extra EPO erithropoetin 
may adjust the bone marrow to replace RBCs 
more quickly and reduce the 
risk of clotting 
or some other therapy to draw the attention of 
macrophages 
to the need to recycle RBS more quickly may help 
  
today we are on to a topic our Ricker is not 
clear about 
and so we will be researching it 
oxygen saturation is the fraction of 
oxygen saturated haemoglobin to 
total haemoglobin 
what we don't know is exactly how this is done 
we are about to guess 
what we know is that 
arterial blood is bright red 
and venus blood is more a blue tinged kind of red 
and so when a little gadget 'measures' the  
SpO2 of a patient's blood 
it is measuring how blue the blood is 
so it can do this by shining a light through a finger 
we are therefore assuming that the  
gold standard of oxygenation of the blood is 
set at a level of blueness tht is set as  
SpO2 100 
and any trace of blue reduces the number in proportion 
this would mean that a big blue varicose vein 
a pool of almost static blood would havw quite a low number 
and would not be a suitable test site 
it is all geared to a healthy finger 
damaged or scarred skin tissue cannot be measured 
by a pulse oxymeter 
what this technique apparently cannot do is  
measure how much haemoglobin is in the blood 
it just tells us, how oxygenated the present haemoglobin is 
 there is a small issue here 
take a tissue, in this case bone marrow 
bane marrow makes red blood elements called corpuscles 
corpuscles means bodies, little bodies 
derived from cells but no longer cells 
if the bone marrow is helping fight an infection 
by producing a lorra lorra white blood cells 
it's ability to produce rbcs 
may be reduced, hampered 
 just think of this 
 a fleet of trucks 
some are bought by a scrap yard and 
cart off trucks at end of life 
even though they were made in the same plant 
the bone marrow makes rbcs and macrophages 
when the chemistry of an rbc fails 
this is a signal for a macrophage to 
swallow and destroy it 
phosphatidylserine versus CD47 
who knew? 
the idea is that when the balance of these two in the RBC changes 
the macrophages smell trouble and pounce 
thing is 
if the macrophages are busy 
busy fighting an infection 
they may miss their RBC chemical cue 
and the body may begin to soldier on with 
relatively knackered RBCs 
red blood corpuscles 
in current parlance 
there is an algorhythm controlling macrophage activity and 
the presence of an infection switches macrophage activity away from 
RBC destruction 
and so the body is fighting an infection with  increasingly knackered 
RBCs 
we could research more but for now we are simply saying  
if there are lots of knockered RBCs circulating 
how shall we say 
they may get through the tissues and be deoxygenated 
and then get swept through the lungs before they have time to 
get fully oxygenated 
and 
we can say that the symptoms reported as 
long CoViD 
co-relate to an SpO2 as high as 
95 
the production of RBCs is controlled by the hormone 
erythropoietin 
used as a drug my bent athletes... 
we want to contradict some writings here 
RBCs originate from pluripotential stem cells 
the first cell recognisable as heading for being an RBC is the 
proerythroblast 
the more generalised precursor cells could 
due to another algorhythm 
be diverted to become white blood cells in the case of an infection 
add to this  
blood will be directed to core structures 
not skeletal muscles 
hence the prostration in times of infection 
that indicates  
a trial of EPO in long CoViD patients 
 
10th March 2021  
sometmes there is an urgent issue at hand 
and sometimes there is scope to 
plumb the shallows of 
our Ricker's magical mind 
here is one of those questions that may amaze 
what is the link between 
Jimmy Saville 
and 
The UK Royal Family? 
we have - in the UK at least - recently been plied with 
a repeated trailer 
quoting Jimmy Saville saying 
I like girls 
I don't like women, they know too much 
it has been ponted out that 
on the one hand you have 
Princess Di and Kate 
and on the other hand you have Megan 
and the difference? 
the first two joined The Firm as apprentices 
Megan was hired as a fully fledged professional 
it's like armed forces 
they have a way of doing things 
if you are a disgruntled butcher 
and you join the forces to see the world 
they won't put you in the catering corps 
because you may be  
set in your ways 
perhaps you have heard the one about 
the little girl - two or three years old 
who says 
my auntie says, when I grow up 
I'm gonna be a proper little madam 
Jimmy Saville was a rich and famous man 
if he had sex with a little girl 
she would be focused on the fact that he was 
famous 
I've had that Jimmy Saville up me you know 
if he had sex wth a woman 
she would be focussed on the fact that 
Jimmy Saville was rich 
  'vulnerable women' 
is a concept theat may indicate 
a female not completely aware of the concept 
no matter how much  
you enjoy it 
he's gotta pay for it 
daily hire 
or long term contract - marriage 
we see these women all the time 
Jackie Onasis 
Maria Calas 
from an age 
but we see a slight glimmering of hope in 
the woman who married the 
Ocean's Eleven chap 
there is some slight hint that Onasis had 
Calas's only child killed in infancy 
it is clear he was glad the child died 
because her being a mother  
damaged her role as a 
trophy wife 
really good singist, Maria Calas 
how much 
satisfaction in a job well done 
did she ever get 
if she was willing to give it up to 
become a trophy wife? 
did she sing for the joy of doing something 
being a part of something 
excellent 
or to put herself at the head of the 
marriage queue 
Jackie Onassis 
Jackie deBouverie?? 
Jackie Kennedy 
so you are the widow of the  
assasinated President of the United States 
what do you do? 
dedicate your life to public service? 
marry your kids science teacher 
like the now divorced ex wife of the 
Amazon founder? 
no you put yourself back on the market as a trophy wife 
and Nobel Prize? 
tosh 
displaced Maria Calas prize 
that's the one 
Clooney, that's the man 
George Clooney 
the wife Amal, some sort of lawyer 
barrister, Doughty Street chambers 
St hugh's oxford 
and he is the nephew of the singer 
Rosemary Clooney 
to consider the matter of women and girls having sex 
from our Ricker's perspective 
the George Clooney who is worth  
500 million dollars 
appears to be emulating 
Orson Welles 
he a famous film director 
Citizen Kane etc 
who ended up selling sherry in TV adverts 
and George Clooney  
millionaire not billionaire film actor and director 
selling coffee in TV adverts 
not in  
early years 
but as a possible swan song 
back in the day 
back in the days of black and white TV 
people made documentaries about tribal culture 
we are hearing about Myanmar these days 
the women of the Kayan people of Myanmar 
often wear neck rings 
these give the impression that the women have 
very long necks 
actually, although they do distort the body 
and so must be worn from a very young age 
they actually push the collar bones down 
rather than lengthening the neck 
as we said, back in the day 
people brought back film of these women 
and prometed the idea that 
their husbands had the right 
as a tribal custom 
to remove these rings if they say fit 
and that without the support 
the neck would break 
and the woman would die 
this cannot be so if the neck is not 
sgnificnatly elongated 
but these women are  
mmodern day side show freaks 
cultivated from an early age as a tourist attraction 
nobody 
nobody gives little girls the option of  
having or not having 
a man cave between her legs 
you can have the neck rings or Myanmar 
or the footbinding of China 
but  
girl bits are not 
optional 
not an impost for male gratification 
you're born with a cunt so you can be fucked 
and to ensure that you will get yourself fucked 
you are built so that 
somebody else can do a better job than you can 
better in terms of gratification 
our Ricker never developed a foot fetish 
but he had intimations of how it could develop 
long before he was capable of an erection 
he discovered an orgasmic experience 
probably because it had been fashionable at some time 
our Ricker as a baby was furnished with 
a candlewick bedspread 
and he discovered the 
orgasmic consequences of  
rubbing the soles of his feet on said beadspread 
Ricker's bedspread was very simple 
just rows of tufts sticking up from a bed 
live a blue furrowed field 
not elaborate cruelwork 
the problem with 
inciting a child to engage in sexual activity 
is not that they wouldn't engage in 
orgasm inducting activity without prompting 
it is that they are too young to understand that 
when ever that happens 
a man must give a woman money 
 
8th March 2021  
  
this is the sills being cast 
  
this is the sill as cast 
  
and these are the blocks waiting to be set on the sill 
Somebody has found some old pictures of 
 Coatham Pier 
as it was 
  
  
we note that the pier ran down the side of the  
Glasshouse 
the start of the walkway was still there 
up to the time the whole thing was demolished 
we are guessing that 
you didn't need to enter the glasshouse 
to gain access to the pier 
  
these are the things the fossil boys say 
a steam engine is a coal engine 
there are no vegetable oil based lubricants 
hydrogen is made form fossil fuels 
they are blindsiding almost everybody with the idea that 
because a thing can be done a traditional way 
it must be done a traditional way 
if you have a petrochemical plant 
and you want hydrogen 
you just - so to speak - turn the dial to hydrogen 
and you are making hydrogen from petroleum 
if you don't have a petrochemical complex 
if you have a hydro-electric dam 
or a solar farm, or a wind farm, or a wave farm 
you make hydrogen from water 
so there is really no need to use the  
getout 
this isn't hydrogen, it's green hydrogen 
hydrogen is hydrogen and there is no need to 
involve fossil fuels in its cycle 
water plus energy equals hydrogen plus oxygen 
hydrogen plus oxygen equals water plus energy 
end of 
 
  
sometimes it is very difficult to draw  
two related concepts together 
when we speak of the imagined perils of incest 
we should consider the problems a lot of people have 
finding a match 
finding a matching donor because they need 
a transplant 
sometimes a close relative is a match 
often the match is somebody far from related to the patient 
but perhps of the same race 
people can be mother and child 
and not sufficiently genetically similar to be 
a match for transplant 
simple rule 
get a dose of the maost impressive male you can get your hands on 
and leave the rest to nature 
 
 
  
we are not in the know... 
but Redcar and Cleveland College appear 
to be installing 
outdoor hard courts for sports 
if they are  
that is a good idea 
  
 
6th March 2021  
  
perhaps it is a tribute to  
just how solid the shale bed of 
Coatham Bay  
is 
but the guys have finally got the last of the piles 
into the foundations of the  
New Regent 
we have lost count of how many  
pilling machines they have had to use to get there 
very solid foundations will be possible 
if the appropriate gear can be brought in 
replacement pier reference 
 
  
we said 23 pairs of chromosomes 
plus the X and Y 
there is a thing 
we'll check before publcation 
a bar body or a barr body? 
plants have both male and female parts at the same time 
stigma, stle, ovary - female 
anthers and pollen - male 
some animals - mainly fish and shellfish 
can change gender according to circumstances 
however  
we more advanced beings 
mammals and such 
X and Y chromosomes 
two X - female 
one X and one Y  - male 
at its simplest 
here's the thing 
in every apparent male 
there is an X and a Y chromosome 
available for expression 
X and Y complement each other 
in females shock horror 
in every cell of a female body 
there is  
one X chromosome and zero Y chromosomes 
how so 
at some pre-determined point in 
female development 
apparently at random 
each cell in the developing female embryo 
locks up one of its X chromosomes in 
what is called a bar body 
every female body is a 
mosaic of cells 
some with the X from their mother available for expression 
some wth the X from their father available for expression 
girl if X from dad, boy if Y from dad 
in theory 
half a woman's cells have a different  
life expectancy from the other half 
we are not aware of any studies on the effects, consequences 
of this 
but if - only - half your brain cells suddenly died  
and the rest soldiered on 
that might be a cause of dementia 
 
barr body 
is an inactive X chromosome  
in a cell with more than one X chromosome 
rendered inactive in a process called 
lyonization 
in species with XY sex determination 
here's a fine point 
in marsupials Australian types with pouches.... 
and some bits of the system in the rest... 
where the dismissal is 
always of the X chromosome from the male 
now a dip into those rarer chromosomal abnormalities 
Klinefelter syndrome folk are either 
47,XXY  
or  
47,XXX 
the 47,XXX - presenting as female - have 
2 Barr bodies 
in other news 
we have said that genes no longer needed are 
switched off not destroyed 
genes in Barr bodies are by definition 
switched off not destroyed 
there has been a study 
in which it was seen that the Barr bodies had  
gone missing 
in women with breast cancer 
Nateker, Praschant E, DeSouza, Fatima M 2008 
Reactivation of inactive  chromosome in 
buccal smear of carcenoma of breast 
Indian Journal of Human Genetics 
14 1 7-8 
we like 
we have not read this 
but the title suggests that 
the effect is throughout the body because we 
interpret buccal as 
growing in the lining of the mouth 
 
we said that making eggs from body cells 
involves throwing away half the genetic material 
to make way for the genetic material from the male 
that throw away becomes the 
polar body 
not to be confused with the Barr body 
in Theory 
a polar body could be fertilized 
in theory it could give rise to a weaker twin 
the great and wonderful Ricker has said all along that 
the likes of cancers can be the result of 
disused genes being switched off and not destroyed 
and getting re-activated as opposed to 
mutated 
extra burger for that man 
 
  
 
 
  
5th March 2021  
we seek to offer  
perspectives 
not absolute truths 
and this is our excuse for not researching beyond 
our Ricker's mind 
for most of our information 
we have set a hare running about 
farming, growing and genetics 
you may know that potatoes orginate somewhere in 
South America  
and so any traditions about growing them elsewhere are 
not very old 
one of the BrExit issues is 
can seed potatoes from Scotland 
be sold into mainland Europe 
and this raises the question what and why are 
Scotts seed potatoes? 
here is the idea in the mind of Ricker 
Scotland has a shorter growing season than 
areas further south 
shorter not strating earlier as in the case of 
Jersey Royals 
we guess that as a result potatoes don't grow very big in Scotland 
so we assume that each one weighs less but is  
individually capable of 
growing into a crop plant if transferred to the south 
where growing conditions are better 
so, what is the point of growing them up north? 
potatoes are form of tomato?? 
well tomatoes don't have tubers 
and potatoes don't have fruit 
they are both of the genus  
solanum 
and you can, well 'they' can 
graft a potato and a tomato together and produce a 
pomato 
here we set off the food fanatics 
the solanums are from the family 
solanaceae 
the nightshades that include 
deadly nightshade 
which is why you NEVER eat potato tops 
did some of the people who died in the 
Irish potato famine 
die from nightshade poisoning? 
it's very important to know which parts of a plant or animal are 
safe to eat 
and 
peppers are in the nightshade family too 
not such a surprise... 
and that is well away from the link between Scotland and potatoes 
seed potatoes are not seeds 
they are tubers 
but they are not big enough to eat so they are seeds  
in the sense of 
seed pearls 
little ones that will grow  
why bother to  
set them on 
for their first year  
in Scotland 
the idea is 
the weather is rough for potatoes 
but it's worse for 
 their pests 
this is an example of farmers and growers 
growing FOR farmers 
and we look to the opposite of the potato story 
we look to cross bred sheep 
living on 
marginal land such as moorland 
or marshland 
they are bought in and grown up for market 
but not necessarily bred from 
this finds more extreme expression in pigs 
we think that some pig crosses 
hardly if ever breed 
and that may be because they grow so fast and so big 
that they wouldnot be able to give birth naturally 
there reported to be breeds of dog that are 
hyperexpensive to buy 
because they can only be born by 
C section 
they need an operation to get out 
so with hardy breeds of sheep 
they may produce only one lamb 
if they are a hardy breed 
and that may not be economically viable 
if they are living on prime pasture 
so this is the idea of the down side  
the morning after the night before 
of F1 hybrid vigour 
sometimes 
in-breeding 
is the answer 
and the prime example of that is 
thoroughbred racehorses 
thoroughbred means inbred 
by the best, out of the best 
 
4th March 2021  
we have the ability to put some of our analogies 
 into a Christian context 
and so we here adapt a parable to be an analogy 
the reference is 
Mark 4:3-9 
we take that to mean 
Gospel according to St. Mark 
chapter 4 verses 3 to 9 
Listen, behold 
a sower went out to sow 
and as he sowed some seed fell along the wayside 
and the birds came and devoured it 
other seed fell on rocky ground  
where there was not much soil 
and the they sprand up immediately 
but soon shrivelled  
since there was no depth of soil 
and when the sun rose it was scorched 
and since there was no root 
it withered away 
other seed fell amongst thorns 
and the thorns grew up and choked it 
and it yielded no crop 
and some fell on good ground and yielded  
thirty, sixty, a hundred fold 
end paraphrase 
n a sense this is a story about the trials of being 
a missiary 
but we can adapt it in the sense of 
returning to the farming basis and considering lvestock 
not converts to a new religion 
it is in the nature of genetic defects that some are 
dominant and some recessive 
some do harm, some fail to do the necessary 
there is no sense in which Jesus was referencing genetics 
but there is a basic, classic, understanding of 
the biology of recessive traits 
situations where an inadequate version of a gene 
runs in a family 
the basic requirement is to understand that for  
23 of the 24 chromosomes 
there is a copy of each gene from each of 
mother and father 
pair 24 is the X and the Y 
it's simple maths - arithmetic even 
several options 
focusing on one gene 
every cell of every person's body 
has two copies of each gene 
one from father and one from mother 
a vital part of the production of 
eggs and sperm is to produce these cells with 
only one copy of each gene 
reproductive sex is  
like taking a fancy leather jacket and 
unzipping one zip and changing the shape of the jacket by 
zipping together halves of zips that weren't together before 
taking the simplest example of genetic disorder 
if a parent has one adequate gene and one inadequate gene 
they will be OK 
they won't necessarily be fighting fit but they will be OK 
they will produce either eggs or sperm that have 
a fifty fifty chance of having an adequate or inadequate gene 
the other one having been thrown away to make way for the 
partner's gene 
one partner normal, one partner half and half 
overall the kids will be OK 
not great but OK 
and liable to pass on the defect 
this is why it is said that genetic traits sometime 
skip a generation 
the arithmetic says 
if two people each with one adequate and one inadequate gene 
produce kids 
a quarter of them will be knackered 
half of them will be OK 
and a quarter of them will be normal 
not only normal but unable to pass on the defect 
families like this will  
not die out 
but they will suffer significant levels of 
infant mortality and still birth 
and many don't think that is reaon to  
not have kids 
some think it is 
we think comic 
Caroline Aherene 
took that view 
she of  
Mrs Merton 
and  
what first attracted you to  
millionaire Paul  
fame 
various cancers ran in her family and we  
understand that she decided not to have children 
on that account 
but hers was a complex life 
whatever, the point is 
severe genetic diorders can persist because 
having two copies of most genes 
the defective ones can survive 
masked or carried through life by their 
adequate partner 
when they crop up or manifest themselves 
it is not as a new mutation 
but as a revelation 
that would apply to a DNA virus such as 
adenovirus 
but not to an RNA virus such as influenza or SARS 
   
 
  
from little acorns 
mighty oaks do grow 
it is in the structure of a 
free society that 
somebody who as a youngster 
preferred a paper round to homework 
can be the person who ends up ownng and controlling 
the mega conglomerate 
because they are not distracted by 
expertise 
they just have to sell cheap and buy cheaper 
and so 
perhaps a farmer is not the sharpest knife in the box 
BUT 
there is another dimension  
being what is now called 
an influencer 
can come from something other than 
Brand Power 
it can come from the  
cute factor 
over the decades if not centuries 
people have built up  
animal sancturies  
into zoos 
and to some extent 
zoos are run like farms 
in a different sense 
you have two main routes to building a 
major enterprise 
you can build up from small beginnings 
you can borrow or collect as donations 
a whole big bunch of money before you set out 
say you want to contrast the two approaches by  
example of a dairy farm 
if you start with a pet calf 
bought with pocket money 
you will probably be offered ar given a calf that 
is not of good genetic stock 
a runt or reckling 
as you build up your herd 
you will find that milk yields are none too impressive 
and you will be encouraged to buy 
quality bull semen for your cows 
and thi approach may be referred to as 
stregthening the breed or the herd 
if you start with mega bucks 
you will buy the very best cows right from the start 
so the person with a lot of public sympathy 
because they 
save the recklings 
is faced with high vet bills 
most species operate on the basis of a level of 
infant mortality 
that modern humans find completely unacceptable 
in humans, pets, farm animals and zoo animals 
natural selection is thwarted 
for sentimental reasons 
there are a couple of problems with this 
one of which is a solution 
people don't want to be seen as reckless 
having children even though they know 
something appauling 
runs in their family 
so they promote the concept of 
rampant mutations 
luck f the draw 
it could happen to you 
even though it is unknown in any of your relatives 
the posative is that 
if a genetic defect runs in your family 
you will probably be part of a self help community 
sharing coping strategies 
and are more likely to partner up with someone 
in whose family the same defect runs 
this will limit spread throughout society 
the difficulty is if you take the 
strengthen the breed concept to another level 
combine it with the  
random mutation concept 
and you get the idea that 
in-breeding CAUSES mutations 
on account of it pisses God off or something 
some plants will not grow from seed 
any plant grown from a cutting 
is cloned 
the ultimate in in-breeding 
for the most part 
there are three types of genetic abnormality 
a gene that fails to do its job 
a gene that does something harmful 
a gene that does something helpful 
the main reason for  
vegetative propergation 
multiplying stock by taking cuttings 
aside from the brick wall ones such as 
seedless grapes 
is that the children or grandchildren 
have genetics that are so hyped up 
that they become infertile 
a Jaffa orange 
hyped up children are referred to as  
F1 hybrids 
hyped up grandchildren are referred to as 
F2 hybrids 
you may see this on labels in the garden centre 
F1 is first filial generation 
F2 second filial generation 
you can in that sense 
over strengthen the breed 
get a sort of Downs Syndrome type  
overkill 
the problem with zoos is 
they 'live in fear of' 
damaging their stock by in-breeding 
and so shuttle breeding animals around the world 
 to breed with 'unrelated' members of their species 
what we are now proving is that 
where you can't prove that two animals are related 
they are effectively from 
different species 
we have had the latest Attenborough telling us 
they look the same to humans but 
they can see in UV and they look completely different 
and so 
often 
attempts to 
breed in captivity 
fail because you are attempting to  
cross two slightly different species 
and if you succeed you create a third species 
and that's not conservation 
if it ain't broke don't fix it 
if a colony of rodents 
are happliy and healthily in-breeding 
don't try to strengthen the breed 
if they are suffering from genetic morbidity 
pension them off and start afresh with healthy stock 
 
2nd March 2021  
there are people who are called things such as 
venture capitalists 
people who take pension contributions and savings 
and invest them in big lumps 
as opposed to personl loans 
and home mortgages 
they finnce such things as 
new gigafactories to make  
car batteries 
they could also finance a  
new coal mine 
these people are amart and well informed 
they know there is no future in coal 
and no future in coking coal 
if they finance a new coal mine 
they are looking for a return in terms of 
compensation from the government 
if the government shut it down 
the best envronmental 'lesson' to these people is 
let them invest in a new coal mine 
don't give them anything but permission 
no government grants 
and t
let them find out for themselves that there is no market 
for the product 
a thing they already know 
so the whole game is about 
positioning for government grants and 
cancellation compensation 
it's a finacial manipulation 
not an industrial investment 
 
1st March 2021  
God we're good 
put  
was Henry Ford left handed 
into a search engine... 
Benjamin Franklin and Henry Ford  
are listed as left handed 
4 of the most recent US presidents have been 
left handed 
plus the UK's Prince William 
and so 
not so much 
anti-British 
more 
we gotta choose one out of many 
real quick 
choose the odd ball 
most of the world drives on the wrong side of the road 
because they bought cars from a lefty 
 
  
white rabbits 
is the first thing you are supposed to say 
on the first of March 
it's a bit like 
first footing  
on New Year's Eve 
you make sure that the first person to 
enter your home in the new year is 
a friend  
or yourself 
of course Arctic hares have white coats in winter 
and grey brown ones in summer 
perhaps hares that retain their winter coat are 
easier to hunt 
perhaps it's just the moult of the hares 
marks the coming of spring 
our Ricker watches a bit of day time TV and he  
picks up on obscure things 
most people in the UK who have ever done anything  
remotely related to 
motor vehicle maintenence 
will have heard of the trade name 
Castrol 
Castrol was an engine oil company 
bought out by Burmah Oil 
and then BP or bp 
a bloke called Wakefield set it up 
Castrol holds the sort of secret that the 
fossil boys like to keep well hidden 
the origin of the name Castrol is 
caster oil 
the significant element in providing the 
keep working at both low and high temperatures 
element 
depends not on a mineral oil 
but on vegetable oil 
  
It is the 20th anniversary of 
The Great Heck Train Disaster 
Ricker has not forgotten that 
Tanya working for  
Janice Webster's  
University of Teesside 
spin off company 
created the official police 
3D reconstruction of the events of that day 
 
 
  
  
in no way do we resent the emancipation of 
non-straight people and cultures 
but sometimes we think 
authority figures are slow to catch on 
and that rather than the emancipation can cause problems 
so far as we know 
lesbianism has never been illegal in the UK 
the emphasis has always been on 
homosexuality amongst those with 
boy bits 
as though the authorities have never heard of the 
strap-on 
anyway 
what the authorities seen completely blind to is 
well let's step back 
back in the late seventies and early eighties 
Cleveland County Council 
had an out gay secondary supply science teacher  
called Austin 
first name 
not a problem 
and he was wont to perform at the 
Edinburgh Fringe 
strange days indeed 
the probelms, if there are any, come with gays  
in the closet 
however, throughout time we have had 
gays hiding in plain sight - lesbians 
and the difficulty is that when a female 
becomes over protective of another female 
we don't see that as  
stalking 
to go back to Gillbrook school 
at a point in time 
a woman art teacher was promoted to 
head of department 
within a year 
all the art teachers apart from the head of department 
were men 
it was remarked upon but no action was deemed necessary 
take Teesside Polytechnic or University 
a woman head of department with a staff consisting of a 
string of pretty young girls.... 
what's sauce for the goose is 
sauce for the gander 
but what's sauce for the gander is not 
sauce for the goose 
a gander being a male goose 
this line about  
women with a complaint against a man 
need provide no evidence 
and 
polce can step in, due to a report of 
concern for the welfare of a woman 
when she has expressed no distress herself 
is a charter for the 
lesbian consumed with jealousy over a  
girl's association wth a boy or man 
 
26th February 2021  
  
  
  
  
is this a reminder of what happens when 
the local guys bring their  
man tools to town 
are bambam on trust a trader? 
build us a replacement pier? 
 
  
at this time we are seeing the consequences of 
viccine nationalism  
playing out 
it reminds Ricker of the long road we have been on 
regarding motor vehicles 
there are countries around the world where 
vehicles are driven on the left 
with the driving seat on the right of the vehicle 
we can think of the UK and Australia 
we know that the motor car is supposed to have been 
invented in mainland Europe 
we are not going there today 
there is an exampe of the 
quiet genius of the British here 
and the time it takes to correct for  
reflexly doing the opposite of 
wht the British do 
most people are right handed 
they have a right hand that is more skilled than their left 
in a simple car that has to be driven 
the major hand work is the steering 
in a simple car there is 
a four on the floor gear shift 
at some point this was joined by a 
three on the tree option 
if you are right handed and you drive with the gearbox  
to your left because the drive train is in the  
center line of the vehicle 
when you change gear - and you do that occasionally 
you remove your less skilled hand from the steering wheel 
if you sit to the left of the gear box 
every time you change gear 
you remove your more skilled hand from the steering wheel 
to compensate 
such as the Americans, who drive on the right 
developed the gear shift on the steering column 
three on the tree 
to minimise the duration of 
less skilled steering 
and eventually developed the 
automatic gear box 
most Americans do not drive 
stick shift 
they drive automatic 
and this is beacuse  
people - car manufacturers - decided that 
in their country 
things would be done  
the opposite way to the British 
 
25th February 2021  
  
this?  
only on Redcar Beach 
these balls are 
iron ore sinter 
that has escaped from the steel works and 
washed up on Coatham Beach 
  
  
  
nestling in here amongst the toys 
the first of the pre-cast blocks of concrete 
that will form the base of new Regent 
  
 
24th February 2021  
The BCG Tuberculosis vaccination was 
introduced for UK school leavers in 1953 
at that time that age was 14 years 
BCG refers to Baccilus and the names of the 
two French developers 
Albert Calmette and Camille Guerin 
it was developed between 1908 and 1921 
Tommy, our Rickers dad 
had a neat pattern of  
four or five scars on one of his arms 
since he was in France in the army 
between 1916 ad 1919 
we guess he was involved in a BCG trial 
here's a bit of history 
in the 1970s in the UK pupils leaving school  
in the 1970s had the BCG jab 
but people taking up jobs in  
schools in Cleveland County, England 
at that time 
were not given the vaccination 
they were required to have a chest X-ray 
to prove they did not have TB 
just the one on joining 
not regular repeats 
and there were mobile testing units 
like the mobile breat x-ray units of today 
so that people could get the test easily 
the flaw with that is that Ricker had had the BCG 
when he was at school 
so in a way 
proof of vaccination was not taken as  
proof of absence of disease 
and Ricker must have had a lower dose that his dad because 
he got no scar 
 
Hambleton 
is a district council within North Yorkshire County Council 
the reason why  
Redcar and Cleveland was originally called  
Langthingy Lang bar 
was to try to convince  
Great Ayton and Perhaps Stokesley to be in it 
because there is a geological feature in Great Ayton called 
Langbaugh 
they settled on the name and then 
Canny Yatton pulled out 
decided to stay with Yorkshire 
so at that time 
both Cleveland and North Yorkshire had 
two tier local government 
the arrangement was that 
Cleveland was the county - education and such 
and the districts were 
hartlepool, Stockton-on-Tees, Middlesbrough and 
Langthingy 
then the area went to unitary authorities and 
Cleveland County Council was wound up 
this history is why Middlesbrough is so small 
it's to do with business rates 
the steel industry had their business rates collected by 
Hartlepool and Langthingy 
the petrochemical industry had their business rates collected by 
Stockton-on-Tees and Langthingy 
so when Langthingy became unitary 
and it still didn't have Great Ayton in it 
it got a name change to 
Redcar and Cleveland 
not even Redcar and East Cleveland 
Middlesbrough didn't have much 
we are not sure it had  
The Cleveland Centre 
it didn't have a big university or 
a big hospital 
it couldn't raise much in the way of 
business rates 
and hence the two tier system so that 
Cleveland County could take some of the money  
raised by the industrial districts 
and spend it in Middlesbrough 
then Unified Business Rates came in 
central government took the lot and  
distributed back locally according to need 
not according to 
installed property 
central government acing as a mega Cleveland County 
then quite recently 
central government decide to allow 
local authorites to keep 
half of the business rates they collected 
and Middlesbrough was back in the mire 
but less so because there had been the above mentioned  
developments 
but they are so to say 
more dependent of central government grants than 
the other three 
and Hambleton 
would still be better off in 
Redcar and Cleveland 
than in North Yorkshire 
 we checked the spellings 
Langbaurgh Ridge 
Langbaurgh Grange, hall, Cottage, Quarry 
Nunthorpe Village 
takes Middlesbrough right to the edge of 
Great Ayton but Redcar and Cleveland are there too 
with 
Newton Under Roseberry in Redcar and Cleveland 
but 
Roseberry Topping  
split 
half in R&CBC and half in Hambleton 
 
23rd February 2021  
if we work on the assumption that 
wards within Redcar And Cleveland were 
recently revised 
around five years ago? 
and so reflect population fairly well 
and we forgot three councillors when 
discussing Greater Eston 
the ones who have some reason to think they live in  
Middlesbrough 
Teesville has 3 councillors on R&CBC 
and they live between Eston and Middlesbrough 
but their electorate would not top up 
Middlesbrough Parliamentary 
so Eston 3, Grangetown 2, Normanby 3, Ormesby 3 
That's not North Ormesby 
South Bank 2 
16 R&CBC councillors who represent 
Greater Eston or Middlesbrough 
depending on your choice 
Coatham 2, Dormanstown 2, Kirkletham 3, Newcomen 2 
West Dyke 3, Wheatlands 2, Zetland 2 
16 representing Redcar 
Longbeck 1, ST Germain's 3,  
4 representing Marske 
but wait 
do the Wheatlands councillors represent 
Redcar or Marske? 
nobody knows 
Guisborough? 
Belmont 2, Guisborough 2, Hutton 3 
Skelton East 2, Skelton West 2 
Brotton 3 
Lockwood 1 
Loftus 3 
Saltburn 3 
so 16 play... 41 is it? 
or 16 for Greater Eston 
16 for Redcar  
and 25 for East Cleveland  
so 28 out of 57 R&CBC councillors vote for the 
MP for Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland 
and we do not known whether the 3 Teesville councillors 
vote Middlesbrough or Redcar 
what we do know is 
Greater Eston mainly has the post or zip code 
TS6 
but a small part of it is TS7 
Redcar is TS10 
Teesville is TS6 
and we have no idea why it has so many councillors 
perhaps it takes in chunks of Eston or South Bank 
 
22nd February 2021  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ricker thinks it's something to do with the fact that 
so far he hasn't replaced all his window frames 
every now and again he will hear a scratching sound 
in the house 
today he nearly trod on this little chap 
on the kitched floor 
although he has had snow drops for a while 
butterflies emerging...  
even more exciting 
 
21st February 2021  
Here is the crux or the ramblings that follow 
if Middlesbrough has 59,000 electors 
and any re-arrangement of boundaries requires 
between 70,000 and 80,000 electors 
if Middlesbrough is extended to the south 
the re-naming of Langthingy as 
Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland 
looses validity 
a bit like re-naming Brighton as 
London South 
and so the myth making to suggest that 
Greater Eston is already in Middlesbrough 
 
20th February 2021  
  
we feel we are going on a bit about 
Middlesbrough 
but.... 
the parliamentary constituency is different from 
the borough 
the Boundary Commission 
has a strange sort of 'independence' from parliament 
parliament keeps charging the commission with 
producing new boundaries 
and then ignores the conclusions 
the latest idea is to create a constituency of 
Middlesbrough and Eston 
and that would be aprt in Middlesbrough borough 
and part in Redcar and Cleveland 
unless the boundaries of the boroughs are changed 
first define Middlesbrough 
1868 to 1885 
Linthorpe, and the parts of  
Middlesbrough Ormesby and Eston that were 
north of the road from Eston to Yarm 
1974 - 83 
Berwick Hills, Marton, North Ormesby, St.Hilda's 
Thorntree, Tollesby 
1983 to 97 
Acklam, Beckfields, Beechwood, Berwick Hills, 
Gresham, Grove Hill, Kirby, Linthorpe,  
North Ormesby, Pallister Park, St.Hilda's 
Southfield, Thorntree, Westbourne 
  1997  - 2010 
Acklam, Ayresome, Beckfield, Beechwood 
Brookfield, Clairville, Gresham, Kadar,  
Grove Hill, Linthorpe, Middlehaven,  
North Ormesby, Brambles Farm, Pallister Park 
Thorntree, University 
Middlesbrough the borough is that 
plus 
Easterside and Park End 
which are now in 
Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland  
two wards and you get the M word 
Middlesbrough Parliamentary has around 
59,744 electors (2018)
constituencies are supposed to have 
around 70,000 electors 
depopulation is such that it was formed from 
Middlesbrough East and Middlesbrough West 
Middlesbrough East was created for the 
1918 election and abolished for the 1974 election 
as was Middlesbrough West 
parts of Middlesbrough West were in Thornaby  
1974 - 1983 
and are now in 
Stockton South 
Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland has 
71,264 (2018) electors 
about the correct size 
IF 
number of MPs is not reduced from 650 to 600 
as proposed 
 
Redcar constituency consistes of 
Redcar, Marske-by-the Sea, Eston, South Bank 
and has  
65,524 (2018) electors 
not really any to spare for the 
dwindling Middlesbrough 
you could even up Middlesbrough and Redcar 
by transferring 2,000 or so votes 
but they would both still be undersized 
if one of these constituencies were abolished 
there would be 84,063 electors left for each remaining one 
with Hartlepool at around 70,000 
it would be easy to argue for no further abolitions 
but at 600 MPs... 
the remaining... 
80,000 is not a lot more than the standard 76,000 
carving up Middlesbrough between 
Redcar and Stockton South 
could present some problems but 
the south half to Redcar and the north to Stockton South 
could work if Redcar is re-named 
Stockton South, Cleveland, and East Cleveland 
are possibilities 
but that would put Marton-in-Cleveland into 
Cleveland along with Redcar 
not  
East Cleveland 
and Guisborough into East Cleveland 
 how you get Stockton North up from 65,525 
depends on  what parts of Stockton South 
are available 
alternatively 
Stockton, Middlesbrough, Cleveland, East Cleveland 
means a whole bunch of Stockton South moved 
into Middlesbrough 
it's no use Redcar and Middlesbrough scrapping over 
Eston 
there is population decline not growth there 
as of 2011 the population of Eston was 7,005 
6,930 (2011) population of Normanby 
5,088 (2011) popupation of Grangetown 
so... population of 
Greater Eston 19,023 
it makes up about one third of Redcar constituency 
and is in the borough of 
Redcar and Cleveland 
we would say  
the population of Eston is fairly stable but not growing 
the populations of South Bank and Grangetown are 
on a steady to steep decline 
evidenced by a reduction from three to two ward councillors 
we think that's each 
going to three councillors between South bank and Grangetown 
can't be far off 
so ten years ago the population of Greater Eston was probably 
nearer 30,000 
maybe that was 20 years ago 
to survive 
Redcar probably needs to take in 
Saltburn-by-the-Sea 
and that will probably involved as much angst as 
the earlier addition of 
Marske-by-the Sea 
and that throws up 
Cleveland North  or Cleveland Costal 
and Cleveland South or Cleveland Rural 
2021 is a census year but we don't expect to see the results 
in a hurry 
if we define Redcar as 
Coatham, Dormanstown, Kirkleatham, Newcommen, West Dyke 
Zetland 
that is excluding the likes of Marske 
joined at the hip 
the 2001 census had the population at 36,610 
and the 2011 census had it at 35,692 
we assume that as Dormanstown went from 
3 councillors to 2 
the population drop was in Dormanstown 
we guess that population growth in  
Marske and Kirkleatham 
the southern outskirts 
will soon if not in the 2021 census 
outweigh population loss in Dormanstown 
we will make the point we omitted earlier that our 
pics of 
Beyond Housing 
were of the offices 
there were no homes in the pictures of 
Ennis Road and Ennis Square 
and we should also note that Dormanstown also has 
Farnedale Square about half the size of Ennis 
but more vibrant 
the difference between Redcar and Eston is 
Redcar can expand into a lot of fairly level farmland 
Eston has already run into 
the Eston Hills and the section of the A174 that 
forms a loop around Middlesbrough with the A66 
Teesside heavy industry has its eastern edge 
just west of Dormanstown 
so Greater Eston is on a mega industrial estate 
trapped between the hills and industry 
Dormanstown is 
too close 
but not encircled 
although there has been refurbishment of housing in 
Greater Eston 
there has not been expansion 
as there has been in Redcar 
it is interesting that as soon as 
The Mo Mowlam Academy was completed in Redcar 
there had to be an announcemet of 
another replacement for its base in Grangetown 
in Grangetown 
there isshall we say 
declining political pressure 
now thatRedcar and Cleveland Council is not Labour controlled 
to  
duplicate everything in Redcar  
in South Bank or Grangetown 
we cannot remember the name of the crooner with the 
straw boater and the cane 
Frankie Vaughan 
Grangetown Boys Club 
Frankie Vaughan was a supporter of Boys' Clubs 
and the Grangetown one is still going 
founded 1941 
we think Frankie Vaughan had something to do with 
Grangetown Boys' Club moving from a pub 
to the present purpose built location in the early years 
perhaps the 1960s 
we know little about it but we suppose it was for youngsters who 
preferred football to
that was a boom time for Greater Eston 
4 secondary schools on a campus 
only two remain 
one from three if you discount the Roman Catholic one 
The County Borough of Redcar and Cleveland 
has two Westminster MPs 
Redcar 
Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland 
we don't want to dwel on 
the days when MS&EC was called  
Langbaugh and 
Michael, now Lord, Bates 
lost it for the Tories 
but he lost it to a steel works engineer called 
Ashok Kumar 
MP for Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland means 
MP for Guisborough and district 
same old story 
get the M word in there if you possibly can 
we may return to the death of Ashok Kumar 
he was alive and MP for Guisborough in 2003 
he raised the question of 
deaths amongst steel workers 
he was Dr Kumar but a steel scientist not a medical man 
he was unhappy about official statistics that showed 
12 steelworkers a year 
dying from lung disease 
there is a parallel issue with former 
Teesside Coroner Michael Sheffield 
very slow to reach conclusions 
the case in point was 
Josef Horvath 
Hungarian immigrant died of silicosis after being a furnaceman at 
Warner Steel 
age 65 
Worh and Pension minister was Nick Brown 
12 case between 1996 and 2001 
said Nick Brown 
nothing has changed 
we see a Tory majority in  
The House of Commons 
but 
a Labour Government 
Consett had its steel works closed many years ago  
but a study was done on  
the health of former steel workers 
and that showed  
18 percent more throat cancer 
in former steel workers than the norm 
Ashok Kumar FIChemE  
fellow of the institute for chemical engineering 
MP for MS&EC (Guisborough) 1997 - 2010 
with a gap 
elected MP for Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland 
3 times 
elected MP for Langbaurgh once 
Langthingy 7November 1991 to 9 april 1992 
MS&EC 1May 1997 to 15 March 2010 
that bloke Michael Bates is 
Baron Bates 
the establishment seems hell bent on 
piling every role and honour they can think of onto 
anybody our Ricker has criticised 
the wages of failure is 
The House of Lords 
so why Vera Baird not there? 
perhaps even for the  
 psychopaths at the top table 
that was a step too far 
or perhaps she is waiting for 
the second coming of The Blair creature 
Ashok Kumar died from 
ischaemic heart disease 
he was a chubby chap 
perhaps he could have been saved by 
heart bypass or coronary stent treatment 
if being a chubby chap had been seen 
not as a sign of prosperity 
but as a  
pre-existing health condition 
53 years old 
we think he lived alone in Marton 
and declared himself as having no religion 
he was bag carrier for Hilary Benn 
so you see the conflict 
Enviroment Department say 
steel works kill people 
Work and Pensions say 
steelworkers are The Labour's front line troops 
we expect our soldiers to die for the cause 
better to die in your sixties from  
an industrial disease 
than die in your fifties 
because you're a fat bastard 
but what's the point of dying from  
an industrial disease if 
you won't have a widow to spend the compo? 
Ashok Kumar was born in Inda but studied at 
Aston University in Birmingham, England 
our Ricker is old enough to have been driven past  
Warner steel as a lad 
it had one chimney 
about three or four feet across 
as seen from a distance 
probably bigger 
it was just one solid column of  
never ending black filth 
and people didn't like it 
people had had to switch to 
smokeless fuel - no coal in the domestic fireplace 
and they wanted Warners shut down 
obviously 
central government 
jarbs versus democracy 
central government puts ascheme in place where 
a local authority could shut down  grossly polluting works 
so they shut Warners 
and the people were glad 
until 
they learned how much compensation Warners were paid 
out of rates - council tax - for loss of enterprise 
jarbs, jarbs, jarbs 
the more dangerous the better 
see 
the furnaceman got 
NO PENSION 
double win 
people with jobs 
pay union subs 
the unemployed, the retired and the dead, don't 
and that's all that matters 
 
19th February 2021  
we like to publish corrections 
Ricker and his parents did the  
weekly shop at Hintons 
on a Saturday afternoon 
not a Saturday morning 
it may seem insignificant but two things hang on it 
Rickers sister stayed home so she had the house to herself 
unless she invited her boyfriend around 
second 
after shopping they did not go directly home 
they went to 53, Junction Road Norton, Stockton-on-Tees 
to have tea with  
Auntie Mabel. Auntie Eunice, and Uncle Wilf 
and again Ricker had to be good 
he had to be mouse quiet 
whilst Uncle Wilf checked his 
pools coupon 
as the football results were read out on the radio 
such a good boy our Ricker 
 
  
Britsh Explorer James Cook was the first known 
non-Polynesian 
to visit Hawaii 
1778 
he put it on the map 
there is a current angle to that 
at least 2 
1 the union flag - the Great Britain flag 
only properly referred to as 
The Union Jack 
when flown from a vessel - a ship or a boat 
makes up as significant a part of the 
State flag of Hawaii 
as it does of the national flags of 
Australia and New Zeland 
the currently most significant result of the 
colonisation that followed Cook putting Hawaii on the map was 
explorers, traders and whalers arrived 
and it is understood brought infections that 
the locals had no immunity to 
this is they story of the US 
enclaves missing out on herd immunity 
and of the UK too from what we hear 
it does seem a bit of a stretch that crews could 
make it all the way to Hawaii  
as carriers of infection without keeling over 
but who knows 
we talked about the Paramount Chief whom Cook thought he had befriended 
until his wife stepped in 
he was apparently one of many 
it wasn't until 1810 that one king for all of Hawaii emerged 
that lasted until 1893 
at that time it was a Queen who was overthrown because 
Lliuokalani 
business interest - American - resented Honalulu 
and got the marines to support the establishment of 
The Republic of Hawaii 
the revolution did not overthrow 
The British 
but the local monarchy 
and was intended as a pre-cursor to 
annexation by the United States 
which occured in 1898 
the original revolution was carried out by 
Lieutenant Lucian Young USN and the ships company of 
USS Boston 
162 US Navy and US Marine Corps personnel 
versus 496 troops and 85 to 110 police 
no US casualties, one Hawaiian wounded 
US apologised in in 1993 
the US bought Alaska 
in theory 
Hawaii is the only state of the union that had previously been 
a soverign state 
so it was never part of the 
British Empire 
but is now a part of the 
American Empire 
 
18th February 2021  
This is one of those 
put it into context 
think pieces 
Captain James Cook 
7th November 1728 
14February 1779 
so died aged 49 
Kealakekua Bay 
is located on the Kona Coast of 
Hawaii 
and so 
Captain Cook died in 
the 50th state of 
The United States of Ammerica 
at a time when it wasn't a state of the USA 
the story of Captain Cook's death can be seen  
a couple of ways 
the facts as we know them 
and we assume they are the facts as recorded by 
The British 
are that Cook and Co. 
arrived with many things 
one of those things was a 
longboat 
a coble we assume since Cook was from 
North Yorkshire 
somehow it stopped being in the hands of 
the Cook crew 
and ended up with the locals 
and so 
the skirmish in which Cook died 
can be seen as 
Colonialism 
if the mined set is 
that the exercise was an attempt to 
arrest a local tribal leader over the theft 
if you see it as Cook intruding into a well developed 
local culture 
you can see the incident as 
Cook and Co seeking to 
take a prominent local dignitary as 
a hostage against the return of 
the 'borrowed' longboat 
on 14th February 1779 Cook and his party  
launched from  
Resolution 
with a company of armed marines 
They went directly to the ruling chief's compound 
where he was still sleeping 
we can't properly render his name but 
Kalani'opu'u 
is our best effort 
they attempted an urgent but non violent  
arrest 
the chief went peacefully 
but his favourite wife tried to call him back 
she set up a hue and cry 
so what happened here was 
on an earlier day 
Cook and co had invited the chief to inspect 
Resolution 
and the chief thought this was another such visit 
on the beach it appeared thqt all was not well and  
the chief sat down and refused to move further 
before long the beach was thronged with thousands of 
natie Hawiians 
so it goes -the British account 
Cook smacked somebody with the flat side of his sword 
all hell broke out 
most of the company got back to Resolution 
Cook was dead on the beach 
then the 'British' version becomes 
the story according to Bligh 
William Bligh 
later famous as the captain in the 
Mutiny on the Bounty 
said 
he had watch this from Resolution and 
the crowd had dragged Cook off the beach up a hill 
and torn his body to pieces 
it can be assumed that some Hawaiians died as a 
result of the covering fire set up by the marines 
to cover the retreat 
it is recorded that the knife used to kill Cook 
had been obtained by trade from Resolution on  
the earlier courtesy visit to the ship 
Resolution remained in the bay until 
22nd February 
to complete repairs to the mast 
James Cook was married and had six children 
many of our current ideas about race have earlier origins 
people are not simply living in the  moment 
there is a phrase used in the 
Yorkshire and Humber Region of England 
that amy have it's origins in this event 
the phrase means 
 to to be decent and trustworthy in one's actions 
the phrase is 
playing the white man 
in the southern states of the United States the similar 
that's mighty white of you 
has currency 
in essence 
the Cook story begins - in modern terms 
famous footballer vists old school and on leaving 
discovers the hub caps are missing from his car 
upsetting but no reason for a bloody riot 
we can take three black characters from fiction 
James Wait - never heard of him 
Porgie as in Porgie and Bess 
Othello - Shakespeare 
this is fiction - all three 
James Wait is the  
Nigger of the Narcissus 
in the short book by Joseph Conrad 
essentially Wait has TB 
tuberculosis 
he is dying 
but he takes passage on the Narcissus and 
pretends to be more ill than he is 
and does not help the crew 
he does eventually die from his TB 
Porgie is in a sense the opposite 
he is a black crippled beggar 
This is a Gershwin opera 
I got plenty of nothin' 
and nothin's pleanty for me 
I got mo cr - got no mule 
I got no misery 
ascending the scale of  
black characters people have heard of 
Othello 
tragic in a different way from  
Romeo and Juliet 
these portrayals of blackness 
revolve around black being 'other' 
there is no official help for Porgie 
he has to shift for himself 
Wait is not playing the white man 
he is  
swinging the lead 
in nautical terms this is a means of sounding for 
depth of water under a ship 
however 
marines as opposed to soldiers 
were transported by sea 
whereas soldiers marched 
it could be that soldiers who walked with 
a fixed knees 
were transferred to the marines 
as unfit to march 
Ricker had aged parents 
they never played with him 
that is 
no running around the garden 
no bike rides 
all attempts to get dad out of his armchair were met with 
I've got a bone in me leg 
very confusing for a toddler 
literature therefore portrays  
for the person with no direct experience of black people  
that they are 
big, strong, volatile, and untrustworthy 
for balck people with little direct experience of  
white people 
white people are seen as rich and well educated 
for instance 
in Victorian Haverton Hill 
the two communities rubbing along together were 
Polish and Irish 
black people would have had little exposure to 
literature relating to that conflict 
there synthetic experience of white people would be 
literature about the slave - slave owner relatonship 
the whites see Cook and Co with a dismasted ship 
calling in to a port in Hawaii for repairs 
and seeking to trade with the locals for 
the things they need 
and getting their stuff nicked 
they do not see Cook running a raiding party 
seeking to abduct locals to sell into slavery 
one could say 
not everybody who is white 
is British 
not everybody who is white 
plays the white man 
considering colonialisation 
setting aside Japanese and Chinese concepts of a collony 
take a family group of 10 Brits 
on holiday in a place where tourism is  
most of the export trade 
they pay tentousand pounds for their stay 
probably less but it fits the numbers 
the locals spend that ten grand on  
importing a car 
that's trade 
the locals have the weather and the workforce 
the tourists have a car plant back home 
without 'globalisation' the Brits could make less cars 
and the locals wouldn't have cars 
is that trade or colonisation? 
 
16th February 2021  
our Ricker had never eber heard of 
Devonshire Road, Linthorpe, Middlesbrough 
until he looked it up on a map 
most Saturday mornings 
when he was around seven to nine years old 
Ricker could have been found sitting alone 
in a maroon Hilman Minx 
parked on Devonshire Road 
right next to its junction with Linthorpe Road 
on the town  centre side 
he was there because  
that was down the side of 
Hintons supermarket 
and his mam and dad were in Hintons doing the  
weekly shop 
because 
despite there being a Hintons in Redcar 
Ricker's dad wanted to continue shopping in  
the same shop he had shopped in 
when he lived in Haymore Street 
sometimes 
Tommy needed to go in to work 
and Ricker got to go with his parents when 
they did the weekly shop in the Hintons one the corner of 
Albert Road and Corporation Road 
Hintons was an interesting supermarket 
it existed from 1871 to 1984 
and became a part of Argyl Foods 
Presto 
It's the Presto manifesto 
I'm impressed 
I'm in Presto 
however... 
The Hintons distribution centre is now used by 
Morrisons supermarkets 
thus there were three associated  
large family firms 
Morrisons, Hintons and Winterschladens 
Winterschladens was a wine merchants 
Ricker knew Ann Winterschladen 
she launched herself into a journalistic career 
in places such as Scarborough 
as Ann Winters 
perhaps she had a bright future ahead of her 
but she died young from 
an ectopic pregnancy 
there wer things about Hintons supermarkets that 
 Ricker may reemember if he tries 
but we will set down one issue 
Ricker wasn't exactly bullied  about this but he was 
questioned 
at school 
they want to know how much  
house keeping his mam got 
because in a small town such as Redcar 
the chattering classes couldn't figure out  
where 
the family did the weekly shop 
so when he told them 
he didn't include the Hintons checkout bill 
and that caused consternation 
these days there are those shops where you bay your own  
Food Weighhouse and such 
Ricker particularly remembers 
baking ingredients 
you got currants and fancy versions of sugar and all sorts 
in a plain plastic bag 
the top of which was closed with a collar 
an oval of white cardboard with a green border 
on which the contents, weight, and price were printed 
so Hintons were buying in bulk 
and splitting things out into  
one handfull in a bag lots 
they probably gabe  
Green Shield Stamps 
too 
or perhaps their own pink version 
funny the things you remember 
that was job for Ricker 
stickng the Green Shield stamps 
into the book 
the great thing was a sort of 
fake cream? 
chocolate cake 
sold by the slice? 
but Ricker's favouite was 
tongue 
sliced ox tongue 
as a cold meat 
but that wasn't the best 
in his pram - obviously earlier 
his mam would give him a 
savoury duck 
to keep him quiet 
not sweets 
you can still get them from the butchers on Redcar high Street 
a sort of cold burger 
cubic not flat 
Rickeris so old that 
there were no burgers when he was a kid 
and no seseme seeds 
they had 
rissoles 
thing is 
so much rubbish had been put into the rissoles 
during the war 
that they had to be re-named s 
burgers 
we can go even further back 
before Tommy went to war 
working in the Co-Op 
can I have a quarter of broken biscuits? 
we haven't got any broken biscuits 
can't you break some? 
 
there are still people around who know the difference between 
poverty 
and 
inequality 
 
15th February 2021  
We have finally got out far enough to 
take the pictures to go with the story about 
the man who built the 
Sydney Harbour Bridge 
here are some pictures of Ennis Road and  
Ennis Square 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
plus a few of the Dormans retirement cottages 
first to be built in the country 
 
14th February 2021  
we try and better try to put Teesside into context 
sometimes a personal story does the trick 
our Ricker's grandad lived in  
Haverton Hill 
and you can still see 
Robson Street 
named for William Robson 
on  
Geographers' A - Z maps 
not that it's very long 
and not that it has any buildings... 
probably we haven't checked lately 
It was named Robson Street because 
Councilor Robson 
was chair of the housing committee of 
Billingham Urban District Council 
now 
Ricker's dad 
one of William's sons 
much written elsewhere 
married Elizabeth Bessie Ord 
one of the daughters of  
John Ord Sir Arthur Dorman's estate manager 
slightly posh couple looking for a starter home 
slight diversion here 
1878 - 1890 
Linthorpe, Middlesbrough 
Linthorpe Art Pottery 
many of the early wares have the signature 
Christopher Dresser 
that is, impressed into the clay 
Linthorpe is an inner-suburb and former village 
 in the unitary authority of Middlesbrough 
in the ceremonial county of 
North Yorkshire 
botable people... 
Bob Mortimer comedian 
Chris Rea singer 
born there into the family who ran 
Rea's ices - ice cream shops 
Jerry Desmonde actor we have never heard of 
Marion Coates Hanson 
women's sufferage - votes for women 
campaigner 
lived there until 1911 
Christopher Dresser born Glasgow 
1855 professor of artistic botany 
in SOuth Kensington,London 
1879 - 1882 
he was superintendent at the 
Linthorpe Art Pottery 
and there designe over a thousand pots 
he also worked for 
Minton, Royal Worcester, Watcombe 
Old Hall, and Hanley and Ault 
wallpaper, all sorts 
we will get to the point 
back from the war with his new wife 
Tommy Wopson wants to set up home 
since he is working for Hodsmans in Albert Road, Middlesbrough 
Hodsmans had  
whacking great quarries and slag heaps all over 
but they rented a floor in the old 
Prudential Building 
in Albert Road, Middlesbrough 
so they are in the records as being 
 Middlesbrough Company 
a stock exchange listed, Middlesbrough company 
because they had no other 
registered address 
and so Tommy foresakes Haverton Hill and 
buys a house in  
Haymore Street, Linthorpe, Middlesbrough 
and at the time it was mainly 
a 'stones throw from the south edge of 
Albert Park 
now it's mainly a stones throw from  
Grove Hill 
anyway 
people have a vision of urban development 
they see people getting affluent and 
moving out to the suburbs 
social development in North East England 
is not like that 
consider  
Grainger Town, Newcastle upon Tyne 
between 1824 and 1841 Richard Grainger 
built some of Newcastle's finest buildings 
Grainger Market, The Theatre Royal,  
predominantly 4 storeys  
vertical dormers, domes, turrets and spikes 
Richard Grainger was said to have 
found a Newcastle of bricks and timber 
and left one of stone 
of Grainger Town's 450 buildings 
244 are listed 
29 grade 1 
49 grade 11 star 
Grainger Town is 36 hectares 89 acres 
Pevsner described Grey Street as 
one of the finest street in England 
but the area also contains 13th century relics 
in the 1960s and 1970s about a quarter of  
Grainger town was demolished 
Eldon Square lost a side 
to make way for a modern shopping centre 
by the 1990s the population had fallen to 
1,200 
47per cent of those listed building 
were also classified as  
at risk 
everybody gone to 
The Metro Centre 
everybody being 
Sir Philip Green 
and all those retailer that have recently  
gone bust and disappeared 
what we are saying here is 
in North East England you have  
a half of what you have in London 
in London you have 
North or the river and 
South of the River 
you have The East End and the West End 
the Grainger Town part of London is 
the western part of what is north of the river 
but the rest... 
is like Manchester or Birmingham 
neither Grainger Town 
not Middlesbrough 
ever had  
'little meister' quarters 
they didn't start with warrens of little workshops 
inhabited by self employed carfters 
The North East of England is about 
BIG 
and the pattern of settlement os the reverse of the norm 
you see a map and you see 
Middlesbrough surrounded by 
Stockton, Darlington and Redcar 
and you assume that 
these three palces are 
dormitary suburbs of the Mighty Middlesbrough 
the reverse is true 
people owning and working in local industry 
at a period in time 
sought sophistocated urban living 
town parks, the theatre 
high class amenities 
social contact 
Middlesbroug is a dormitary town for 
the Tees Valley 
Now, now it has a mega hospital and a university 
but unless you work there or are a patient or student 
Middlesbrough is not for you 
Middlesbrough is not 
Post Industrial 
it is 
Post Cultural 
people now get their culture off the telly and 
on the internet 
they don't need 
whacking great 
cinemas, theatres and department stores 
it's not the industrial heartland that is in decline 
it's the cultural heartland that is in decline 
and it is now a plce to meet 
the cultural missionaries of Islam 
the mysteries of the orient 
that haven't had much to offer in the current 
medical crisis 
  
Middlesbrough's current population was estimated to be 
 140,398 in 2016 
 by the Office for National Statistics 
with a total area of 5,387 hectares 
a hectare is an area of land 
100
metres by 100 metres 
so about the size of an athletics track 
or 
there are 2 and a half acres in a hectare 
Middlesbrough is the smallest and  
second most densely populated  
local authority area in North East England 
however 
the population of the 
metro area is 387,000 
20.58 per cent of the resident population of Middlesbrough are 
aged 0 to 15 years 
that is slightly higher than the national average but the 
 North East level is 17.74 per cent 
15.9 per cent of residents are over 65 
the national rate is 17.88 
and North East rate is 19.25 
essentially 
asylum seekers have settled in Middlesbrough 
and are having children 
and older people are retring to the 
more far flung parts of the 
con-urbation 
Middlesbrough is the most ethnically diverse local authority area 
in the Tees Valley 
the British Minority Ethnic population is 
11.7 as at the 2011 census 
then up by 86 per cent on the  
2001 census 
88.18 per cent are classed as white 
the North East rate is 93.63 
79,75 per cent of people in England are classed as white 
it is Newcastle upon Tyne that is the one more diverse  
authority in the North East 
Newcastle 81.92 per cent white 
7.78 Asian 
1.25 Black/African/Carribean/Black British 
1,71 mixed race 
 
8,2 per cent of Mddlesbrough residents were 
born outside the UK as at the 2011 census 
15.74 of asylum seekers in the North East 
are reported to be living in Middlesbrough 
as at December 2017 
Newcastle upon Tyne has 23.66 per cent of them 
and Stockton on Tees has 19.73  
7.05 per cent of Middlesbrough residents identified as 
Moslem 
the North East figure is 
1.80 per cent 
Middlesbrough is the most 
income deprived area in the country 
 
the take away from this is really quite important 
the deprived housholds in the Tees Valley 
are split between three top tier - unitary - authorities 
Stockton on Tees, Middlesbrough, Redcar and Cleveland 
of these Middlesbrough is 
hemmed in by the other two 
the other two have the space for 
both industrial and commercial development 
and 
more luxurious and retirement homes 
it's like the old saying - Sam, whatever 
Sir, sir, we've got a case of Berriberri 
oh give it to the Marines 
they'll drink anything 
we've got some low grade people 
send them to Middlesbrough 
they'll fit right in there 
birds of a feather 
flock together 
a vicious circle 
a self fullfilling prophecy 
Middlesbrough doesn't make people poor 
people leave Middlesbrough when 
they are no longer poor 
However, the fundamental is that 
people come to Middlesbrough because they 
see it as a place of safety 
not because they see it as a place of opportunity 
 
95.5 per cent of people living in 
Redcar and Cleveland 
were born in England 
1.6 per cent were born in Scotland 
0.3 in Wales, 0.3 in Northern Ireland 
0.2 in Ireland 
0.1 in South Africa 
0.1 in each of Pakistan, India, Australia, United States 
leaving 0.16 having been born elsewhere 
of which 0,8 - EU country other than Ireland 
99.3 per cent of people living in Redcar and Cleveland 
speak Ehglish 
0.10 per centspeak Polish 
0.6 per cent speak something else 
0,4 per cent identfy as Moslem 
0.1 per cent identify as Bubbhist 
46.9 per cent of Redcar and Cleveland residents are 
married 
Two local authorites side by side with 
very different levels of ethnic diversity 
but Middlesbrough's ethnic diversity is relatively recent 
Social Grade 
is a classification based on occupation 
Redcar and Cleveland 
AB  13.32 per cent England 22.96 
C1  26.33  England 30.92 
C2  25.33 England 20.64 
DE  35.25 England 25.49 
education 
people in Redcar and Cleveland with 
no qualifications... 
28.4 per cent England 22.5  
Level 1 13.5 England 13.3 
level 2 16.4 England 15.2 
Apprenticeship 5.7 England 3.6 
Level 3 13.1 England 12.4 
level 4 18.9 England 27.4 
other 3.9 England 5.7 
 
these are self reported cencus data 
and so they almost certainly include 
people beyond working age 
at some level it can be said that people in 
Redcar and Cleveland see themselves as 
having poorer health than the England average 
but 
it isn't by much 
Very good health 42.38 England 47.17 
very bad health 1.79 England 1.25 
we have some figures for benefits but we know that 
everybody in Redcar and Cleveland is 
either on Universal Credt or not on benefits 
so Job Seekers Allowance 5.9 per cent England 3.3 
Incapacity benefit  3 per cent  England 2.4 
Any benefit including in work benefits 
20.4 per cent England 13.5 
these must be somewhat out of date 
but the stand out is 
the in work benefits level 
it is interesting that an area so famous for its 
heavy industry 
has a level of incapacity benefit 
so near to the national average 
3 versus 2.4 
in terms of age there is a slight bias towards 
the 45 to 84 age band 
but nothing exceptional 
perhaps indicating moving from the urban to the suburban 
with a little maturity 
and here's the clue 
tenure of home 
owned R&C 33.2 England 30.6 
mortgage 33.4 England 32.8 
shared    0.4 England 0.8 
Social rented(council) 10.1 England 9.4 
Social rented housing association 9.3 England 8.3 
private rented 11.2 England 15.4 
other 1.2 E 1.4 
rent free 1.1 E 1.3 
when people buy they do so in the suburbs 
to have two thirds of residents having or having had 
a mortgage 
speaks to quite a lot of 
stable empolyment 
if not highly paid employment 
and also to a tradition of skills and knowledge being 
acquired on the job and 
not certified by educational establishments 
for instance 
we are not clear that a whole range of 
licences 
from driving to diving and to running a pub or post office 
are included in the  
educational attainment stats quoted above 
 
  
it's becoming more and more difficult to  
remain calm about this 
Middlesbrough problem 
Middlesbrough - there's nothing there 
everything on Teesside is 
either in Redcar and Cleveland 
or in Stockton-on-Tees 
but it still has to be 
'near Middlesbrough' 
or 
'on the outskirts of Middlesbrough' 
its like  
The Houses of Parliament are 
near Trafalgar Square 
or 
on the outskirts of Chelsea 
we do remember 
Stockton-on-Tees 
is not 
Stockton-on-the-Forest 
Stockton-0n-the-Forest IS 
on the outskirts of York 
little place nesr big place 
not big place nar little place 
little place with a football stadium 
and Stockton-on-Teme  
is near Kidderminster and hardly exists at all 
likewise 
Forest-in-Teesdale 
a kind of rule of thumb... 
a place can be IN a valley or dale 
Teesdale 
The Tees Valley 
but it can't be in a river or the sea 
Marske-by-the-Sea 
saltburn-by-the-Sea 
a town can be 
beside the sea side 
or on a riverside 
all of which matters little 
it's very reminiscent of 
that singer guy who changed his name to 
Cliff Richard 
so interviewers would addresshim as 
Cliff Richards 
and he would spin out a double or tripple name check 
by correcting them 
 
we said we would have something to say about 
Coatham Beach on 15th Feb 
firstly we have one of those  
is your sat nav faulty items 
The first thing we would say is that the  
HGVs turn left sign seems to have gone from the  
head of Station Road 
a bit confusing for LGV drivers who are 
nothing to do with the Regent Cinema development 
the satnav thing is related to the  
recommended route to site 
assuming you are arriving via the A66... 
Trunk Road up to 
the left turn at the lights  
the left turn between 
Drive Vauxhall and Locke Park 
the one with the sign diresting you to the 
Sea Front 
after the left turn, over the railbridge 
down the other side 
straight on at the roundabout 
you are on Majuba Road 
it curves right at the golf club 
and takes you to a T junction with 
Newcommen Terrace 
Newcommen Terrace is the extension of the Esplanande 
like that where you want to be 
not Coatham Road 
or Corporation Road 
and certainly not 
digging out the potholes on 
Westdyke Road 
  
but to the thing we know that you don't seem to know 
not much experience of 
Marine Works? 
the weather presenters have not mentioned this 
some of them will know 
what has this past week been? 
a spring tide 
not spring as in Winter Spring and Summer 
a spring as in a bed spring 
five and a half metre tide height 
washes the sand off the beach 
entirely as predicted in yer tide tables 
oo err we ain't got tide tables in our sat nav 
join the fuckwits who get 
stranded on the Holy Island Causeway 
the men who built on shifting sands 
  
 
11th February 2021  
an English writer popularised the concept of 
the geostationary satellite in the 1940s 
Harold Rosen  
an engineer at Hughes Aircraft Company 
invented the first geosynchronous satellite 
Syncom2, launched in July 1963 
you could say 
if the author hadn't thought up the 
communications satellite 
eventually somebody else would have 
always the ready put down for  
a clever person you don't like 
The author was born in 1917 
but he moved to Ceylon - now called Sri Lanka 
in 1956 
he never left there and died there in around 2008 
although the internet does not depend on satellites 
there are lots of sub-sea cables 
satellites matter a lot 
some circle the earth 
some - these geostationary ones - chase it around earth's orbit 
moving with the earth to stay above the same spot all the time 
we are now in the grip of a storm of 
internet based mis-information and hate speech 
to what extent is that author responsible for that? 
the question is interesting because 
the author wrote 
2001 - A Space Odyssey 
and the reason he moved to Ceylon was 
remember Elon Musk and the cave rescue defamation case/ 
the author moved to Ceylon because he 
liked little boys 
and ecause he liked little boys in 1956 
he felt safer in Ceylon than in the UK 
what is interesting is that 
in 1989 he was made CBE 
the ascending ranks are 
MBE, OBE, CBE 
and in 1998 he was awarded a UK knighthood 
he was 
Sir Arthur C. Clarke 
and so the role of 
the democratising effect of the internet 
once you have universal internet access 
scum of the earth child abusers can 
point to  
famous people who liked little boys and say 
I killed my kid but I never took his picture 
I ensured that he qualified for a white coffin 
because I preserved his innnocence 
and got him out of this place in 
double quick time 
it is up to 
mainstream media to put incidents into perspective 
morons will pay good money to read that 
heroes have feet of clay 
this refers back to  
ex UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown saying 
this is the end of  
Boom and Bust 
the liberalisation of attitudes to sex 
in the 1960s may have been expected to 
encounter a backlash 
but it is important to recognise when is a backlash 
the result of a flaw in a new system 
and when is it just the response of the  
creatures- the filth - who have had their 
protective rocks 
upturned? 
there is a line of thought that 
men who like little boys 
like them in the same way that 
women like little boys 
that these men are 
trans 
would have lived out happy and constructive lives as 
school matrons 
caring for the boys and perhaps introducing them to 
The Joys of Sex 
it is always assumed that a pedarast 
is hell bent on rape 
no consideration is given to the idea that he she 
may just be aching to give the little chap 
his first hand job 
or some head 
all dispassionate analysis is swept aside 
in a flurry of 
displacement activity 
distrating from a total lack of 
real parenting skills 
 
imagine Arthur C Clarke as 
Mrs Doubtfire 
a Robin Williams character? 
 
10th February 2021  
we know something the Regent builders don't seem to know 
we'll tell you about it on Monday  
we suggest 
quite the spectacle on Sunday and Monday morning  4 and 15 Feb 
on Coatham beach 
if you think Bob the Builder is an object of fun 
  
we like 
The Architecture the Railways Gave Us 
another source of amusement for 'locals' everywhere no doubt 
and so 
a segment on 
The Causey Arch 
of heritage and tourist interest 
near Beamish Open Air Museum 
you hear of...? 
The Durham Coal Fields 
The Causy Arch was a part of a wagon way 
from a pit in County Durham to The River Tyne 
in the programme 
the term 
Coals to Newcastle 
refers to the same things as 
selling sand to the Arabs 
in the programme there is reference to the 
that would get coal from the Durham coal fields 
to Newcastle-upon-Tyne 
BY RAIL 
the cold hard fact of the matter is that  
The Causy Arch was a part of a horsedrawn wagonway 
taking coal from a pit in County Durham to 
Dunston Staithes 
in Gateshead. in County Durham 
on the river Tyne 
nothing whatsoever to do with 
Newcastle or Northumberland 
coal? Newcastle? no idea 
Newcastle, Armstrong 
big guns 
that's the thing 
of course Durham did sell coals to Newcastle 
  
this is the thing about 
teachers in school when the 
kids are off or home schooling 
teachers expect pupils to do homework at home 
but then they have  
homework clubs 
they stop having 
homework that's done at home 
this entire ecosystem of 
educational employers preferentially hiring 
people who need sanctury from home 
in the eduction sector 
and the kids with supportive parents are 
the outsiders 
the neglected 
having supportive parents becomes 
cheating 
something to be 
a source of  
discounts 
in marking and assessment schemes 
if you is Asian 
you can do GCSE maths at age 9 
but not if you are 
one of the hated 95 per cent 
 
  
 
8th February 2021  
  
  
  
  
  
  
good to see the the next generation taking over the reins 
Pabbles and Bambam 
taken over from 
Flintstone and Rubble 
building the new Regent Cinema 
denied the traditional opportunity to 
go clarts plodging 
they have decided to dispense with the  
coffre dam 
and do 
wave dodging construction 
very entertaining 
keeps endless morons off the streets 
  
many people will be familiar with the saying 
schools are great places 
except when the kids are there 
we've been watching the 
Womens' Aid 
advert 
we have to change our point of view about 
domestic violence 
all these teachers who 
would rather be in school than at home 
we have always looked into the Sacred Heart car park and asked 
ain't these teachers got no homes to go to? 
 
  
 
  
not much less than a year ago we published an idea 
about CoViD treatment that was 
at best confusing if not flat wrong 
we always try to give the best possible advice 
and so we are here to correct the error 
we were trying to suggest that the lungs could be cleared 
rather than by suction through the throat 
by a drain through the chest of a major  
airway in the lung 
we were referring to a small number of 
patients in extremis 
what we were not advocating was the ancient practice of 
delibertely deflating one of the lungs to give it a rest 
allow it some time to heal itself whilst out of action 
we do not support that theory 
we were thinking along the lines that 
since the 'flu an TB 
influenze and tuberculosis epidemics of  
a century ago 
we have developed, and made routine 
techniques of 
open heart surgery 
and we werre suggesting the development of 
parallel techniques of 
open lung surgery 
we routinely remove sections and lobes of lungs 
as cancer surgery  
and so the development we had in mind is not  
outstandingly innovative 
what we were against 
and we see is not happening  
is the idea that we could 
sacrifice one lung by allowing the other to drain into it 
as would occur with  
putting the patient into the recovery position 
as opposed to 
proneing the patient 
proning improve drainage from both lungs 
it does not drain one lung into the other 
   
 
  
we don't know how to spell 
Roody Julianie 
he is a Trump associate and  
former mayor of New York 
we know he wanted to sell of parks and open spaces in New York 
to property developers 
we assume that he had expected that by now 
President Trump would have sold him 
Central Park 
he must be very disappointed that 
President Trump 
delivered so little for the 
Property Developers of New York 
and America 
we have a related comment 
people may associate the Trump Base  
with sentiments such as 
if you like it, put a ring on it 
and Sleepy Joe has made reference to 
family values 
there is a fault here 
a fault of public perception of what this means 
and a bigger fult in the  
actual concept 
The Pioneers took an allocation of land 
and they raised a large family on their plot 
they raised a large family as a 
captive workforce 
but they wer only thinking through their own lifespan 
there is a saying 
live as though you will die tomorrow 
farm as though you will live for ever 
if you have a plot of land that supports 
mom and pop and ten kids 
will it support mom and pop and ten kids and fifty grandkids? 
the call of
and family values 
is not a call for 
reproductive 'faithfullness'  
it is a call for support for the con cept of 
dynasty 
if you are a settler you want to breed your own workforce 
so you have a dozen kids 
soon you realise that you need 
a disposable workforce 
a workforce who are or are not entitled to wages 
but who are not a share of the farm or the factory 
come the day you pop your clogs 
and the intermediate stage is? 
a distinction betwwen 
ligitimate and illigitimate offspring 
and to narrow it down even further the concept of 
(male) premageniture 
everything you have goes to 
your eldets son  
or your 
eldest child 
it is the only way to  
hold a significant dynasty together 
so being faithfull to your wife 
does not serve your purposes 
you have to stick to the 
heir and spare 
and even then what do you do with 
Prince Andrew, Prince Ginner, whatever... 
 
dynasty sucks 
what a society with due consideration for 
female emancipation says is 
girls, get yourselves a dose of 
the most impressive man 
you can get your hands on 
you and your chld 
a two person army against the world 
or possible a three person army 
  
so they give Wales to Charlie Boy 
and he takes it rather too seriously 
and Yorkshire to Andrew 
Duke of York 
and he can't even be arsed to get 
married in York Minster 
and now they want ot give  
Scotland to 
Edward Prince of Frimley Park 
surprised they didn't give Ann the Isle of Wight 
population of England around 70 million 
popoualtion of London around 9 million 
population of Wales around 3 million 
population of Scotland around 5 million 
 
5th February 2021  
now that things CoViD are beginning to  
calm down a bit 
we want to return to an issue we have mentioned before 
the issue of 
barrier nursing 
versus 
reverse barrier nursing 
essentially these can be either way around by convention but 
what we are talking about is
versus 
the boy in the bubble 
all along in the current epidemic the idea has been 
in the UK  
to leave the patient exposed 
and protect or cocoon the attendants 
two mechanical devices are not in evidence 
first the conscious patient could be  
in a bed in a tent 
a transparent walled tent - proper barrier nursing 
with their exhailed air vented to sanitation facilities 
just as the boy in the bubble - the boy with  
no immune system - pre bone marrow transplant 
was kept in an envelope of 
sterile air 
and in 'modern' operating theatres 
the opperating table is 
held within a curtain of sterile air 
the second device missing is the 
spit 
the over sensitive Americans may call it a 
rotisary 
essentially a means to  
prone unconscious patients without human effort 
some sort of 
stereotactic frame attached to the patient 
pins bearing on bones 
attached to a motor to turn the patient 
 
4th February 2021  
  
  
  
  
gone back to whacka mole 
broken the new kit or only brought it for show? 
  
this is what we saw of the  
government epidemiology graphic 
The government of the UK have published a complex graph of 
CoViD 19 effects 
if wrconcentrate on the outcomes for the 
under 50s... 
we are seeing few deaths 
the split between genders in terms of 
went to hospital but left healthy 
in the 40 to 50 cohort 
men are more likely to go to hospital than women 
in the 15 to 40 bracket, women are more likely to 
go to hospital 
in the 50 to 80 bracket 
men are more likely to go to hospital 
we have a suggestion for this pattern 
two in fact 
the suggestion for men is that 
this is a respiratory infection and 
men - especially the over 50s - will have 
smoked more than women 
and so to the young women falling foul.. 
have you ever heard of a 
dad 
eating up the children's left overs? 
these younger women finding themselves in hospital 
are likely 
overweight 
 
1st February 2021  
it is a bit of a stretch from 
corona virus to ecology you may think 
it isn't about what the virus is or 
its effects 
it's about how it is transmitted and 
more importantly 
how people react to the concept 
the behaviour of the people most at risk is 
paralleled by the  
behaviour of 
nesting seabirds 
lots of people have written theses - plural of thesis 
for their Ph.D. on the social behaviour of 
nesting seabirds 
and the founder of this line of work is 
Tinbergen 
there are probably other places to observe this but 
for our purposes 
kittywakes and ganets 
nesting on the cliffs of the  
Farne Islands 
is the pearl 
and the Farne Islands feature 
Lindisfarne 
and they are in the North Sea 
off 
Northumberland, England 
there are few, limited ledges on the cliffs 
and space is tight 
the nest 
rock wall behind 
void in front 
neighbours left and right 
the colony would die out if 
neighbours got so heated in their disputes  
that they fling each other and 
more importantly eggs and chicks into that void 
so they have evolved a sort of avian version of 
passive agressive behaviour 
instead of going at each other with their beaks or bills 
they furiously tend the edges of their nests 
there is an old song 
probably  
History of the Bonzos 
my pink half of the drain pipe 
keeps me safe from YOU 
and this is called 
displacement behaviour 
so two things to research 
displacement behaviour and Tinbergen 
and  
displacement behaviour 
shades into 
factitious behaviour 
I feel threatened, bewildered, and powerless to 
deal with this situation as I would wish 
so I create a diversion or I 
make a mountain out of a mole hill 
or in Biblical terms 
I rail about the moat in my neighbours eye 
whilst ignoring the  
plank 
in my own 
and in modern social terms 
I rail against my neighbour's child  
having sex a little before the age of consent 
or even 
the existence of 
photographs of my neighbours child 
whilst 
I shorten my child's life by  
being their feeder 
and raising them to be one of the 
70 percent of Middlesbrough residents who are 
overweight or clinically obese 
there is one main characterstic of the 
whinge meisters 
they never say 
you gave me ten, I should have had five 
they say 
you gave me ten, it's an outrage 
   
 
  
talking about supermarkets in Redcar 
Aldi, ASDA, Tesco 
each in their own way have at present 
ASDA, Aldi, Poundstretcher, always 
two customer doors 
one entrance 
the other  
exit 
seems sensible, in the circumstances 
Morrisons? 
two doors 
one locked 
the other 
both entrance and exit 
the logic is not so immediately clear 
 
  
a few more Regent Pictures on a quiet day 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
and it has been pointed out 
the sheet piling may be 
cut off below the sand rather than removed 
we shall see 
 
29th January 2021  
there are two sorts of piles 
being installed at 
The Regent Site 
on Coatham Beach 
they are wacking in the sheet piling to form  
a coffre dam within whch to work 
these are not permanent 
the bigger machine is just shoving the  
permanent pipe piles that will be the  
foundations of the new building 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
we have update pictires from  
The Mighty Redcar Wall 
  
  
  
 
  
 
28th January 2021  
we found some coin to put in the meter 
very complicated 
it does lead some to think.... 
is the reason the UK 
didn't have lockdowns 
and school closures 
when advised by the scientists was 
that the Victims Commissioner 
advised that lock downs would lead to 
mass murder amongst 
women and children? 
we should say... 
if you go to the government corona virus website 
and type in a post code that is in 
North Lakes 
North Lakes is not a council ward 
but it's Newcomen and surrounding areas 
if you type that sort of post code in 
you could be forgiven for thinking that 
all of Redcar and Cleveland's positive tests are 
happening in that area 
fret not 
'we' are doin' an experiment 
as from  
25th January 
the council are offering all commers 
lateral flow tests at the  
Leisure Centre part of the Community Heart 
and we are assuming these test results are being added to 
the NHS symptomatic positives 
so Redcar will lag a bit 
at present Redcar is showing around twice the positives 
of surrounding areas 
so that gives some idea of 
asymptomatic spread 
not 'all commers' 
only people without symptoms should attend 
if you have symptoms you should do the normal 
and get into the NHS system direct 
  
these are lateral flow, almost instant - 15 minute, tests 
intended for key workers 
 
  
 
27th January 2021  
we have been considering 
how would this have been with a 
Corbyn government 
we assume some extra  
business and benefit support but 
we assume emphasis in  
enhanced benefits rather than business support 
we doubt there would have been so much 
refuge in science 
now that 
Tweedledum 
has made his exit stage left... 
Tweedledee is exposed in the spotlight 
trousers around his ankles 
and some consideration of  
the fake news concept seems in order 
and here we are not so much referring to 
dismissing news as fake 
we are considering the generation of 
actual fake stories 
these days this is referred to as 
factitious disorder 
it used to be called 
Munchausen syndrome 
or  
Munchausen's by proxy 
to modernise it you could call it 
Dan Johnson syndrome 
or refer to that creature 
in the early morning slot on 
the BBC's early morning slot on their 
24 hour news service 
Dan Johnson is the sort of reporter you files 
thousands assumed dead in California wildfires 
when thousands have been evacuated to escape the fire 
and so to turn to the convicted 
we on the receiving end assume that 
there is an editorial meeting at which a news organisation 
decides the story of the day 
this is  hangover from the days of 
a front page headline 
broadcast media don't have a front page but 
lacking innovative spark 
they substitute a 
running order 
with only the one slot 
and at the daily editorial briefing the editors  
say to the hacks 
this is today's story 
go compete for the  
number one angle on the theme  
compete for the number one slot in  
a running order confined to the one topic 
so you don't have stories competing for 
places in the running order 
you have 
angles 
competing for places in the running order 
without ourselves going into detail about the  
angles explored 
let us consider the case of 
Beverley Allitt 
the two major angles were 
child-killing nurse 
police vendetta against 
angel of mercy 
we alway remind people about the movie 
Ace in a Hole 
where a washed up hack keeps a 
mining disater 'going' playing for time to  
get national syndication 
with tragic results 
we are in lock down three in the UK 
and the question is 
how sick - metally ill - are the people who 
are still prophesising  
'when lock down ends' 
we will go into thousands of houses 
and discover thousands of 
slaughtered women and children' 
but, dear reader, we have alredy 
come out of lockdown twice 
and it didn't happen 
 
there is a line between 
being the  
boy who cried Wolf! 
and the girl who 
enticed the wolf with a trail for snacks 
the boy who cried wolf 
looses credibility 
the girl with the food parcels 
invites disaster 
we will divert here to point out the difference between 
illness anxiety disorder 
and  
factitious disorder 
people with llness anxiety disorder are 
sometimes referred to as  
the worried well 
people with factitious disorder 
always want to be sick 
in one of her two years as a student nurse 
Beverly Allitt had 
166 sick days 
and so it is not just a case of 
simple attention seeking 
it is desperate need to be ill 
or as developed with her 
a need to be in the presence of  
sickness related drama 
Ricker was aware at Durham of a 
post grad who 
got an extra year - 4 instead or 3 - to complete his 
Ph.D. thesis because he broke his leg 
Allitt failed the 11 plus and her sister passed 
being ill as cover for failure can 
become a habit 
so excuse for failure surpasses 
attention seeking 
it's a kind of 
'the dog ate my homework' concept 
I can't write because of my crutches 
if it were  
I can't collect minibeasts from the bog I'm studying 
that has ligitimacy 
but 
I cn't write my thesis because 
there's a woman down our street who 
may one day be beaten up by her partner... 
that is not ligitimate 
and so to  
Vera Baird 
some time MP for Redcar 
I can't defend local industry because 
men are bigger than women 
 
  
 
25th January 2021  
like it or not 
our Ricker is what you got 
he knows what he has got and 
he does not want to be seen as 
projecting his problems onto everybody else 
what Ricker has is
GBS 
we will quote from 
well we think it's  
casereports.bmj.com 
but we could be wrong 
in the spectrum of neurologic manifestations  
of COVID=19, Guillain-Barre syndrome GBS 
should be considered in patients with 
 peripheral nervous system symptoms 
Early recogntion and treatment of GBS can prevent 
potentially serious morbidity and mortality 
in patients with COVID-19 
end quote 
this is disputed by 
uclhospitals.brc.nihr.ac.uk 
this is where the data and the theory can clash 
GBS is suspected in the CoViD related infections 
it is investigated 
the problem is 
when you ask 
did patients with X appear to have Y 
you are not controlling for anything much 
we have not read up on recent  
Cambridge University findings that 
If this is true it is mega important 
a Cambridge group have said 
patients who die  
28 days after an infection with caorona virus 
have cleared the virus from their bodies 
before they die 
is that all such patients or just some? 
the point is, in simple terms,  
is long CoViD 
a form or varient or analogue of GBS? 
GBS stops yer limbs from working 
a varient may cause you to loose control over the 
muscles you use to breathe 
we have a question 
we see all this PPE - personal protective equipment 
deployed n CoViD wards 
is anybody testing for the presence of  
corona virus in these wards? 
are these wards treting these patients on the basis of 
road accident victims 
where patient and vehicle 
patient and virus 
have long since been separated 
is CoViD  
SLOW anaphilaxis? 
 
  
You remember 
The King and I 
the king of Siam 
or the King of Thailand 
we take no responsibility for this quote 
Thailand's secretive, playboy king  
has a history of 
jailing people who insult him
holed up in a 
luxury hotel in the Bavarian Alps 
Thailand has a 
Lese-majeste law 
that prohibits  
insulting defaming or threatening the monarchy 
revent demonstrations have lead to many charges 
under this law 
the Thai language hash tag  
Why do we need a king  
got 1.2 million responses 
Redcar steel works was bought 
refurbished and run by SSI 
Thai based  
Sahaviriya Steel Industries 
here's the thing 
Thai attitudes towards Royalty are different  
from UK attitudes 
if the  
Thai government got to hear that 
The Prince of Wales wanted 
in a  
who will rid my Principality of this proud 
steelmaking rival, way 
Redcar shut 
Redcar would be shut 
it don't belong to anybody Thai now 
it doesn't need to be shut 
 
Charlie Boy, get yer ears on 
tell 'em to stop being so bloody silly 
 
  
 
22nd January 2021  
a lttle consideration of Wales 
we found some Government of Wales 
census stats 
in 1931 
the bulk of the population split  
four fairly equal quarters aged 
0 to 14 at school or younger   26.6 percent 
15 to 29 ......................24.8 percent 
30 to 44 ......................21.0 percent 
45 to 64 ......................20.8 percent 
aged over 65....................6.8 percent 
  
in the 2019 census 
this is not the ten year census 
16.8 under 15 
18.5 15 to 29 
17.4 30 to 44 
26.3 45 to 64 
11.5 65 to 74 
9.5 0ver 75 
young children and the parents of young children are 
down from half the population to 
around a third 
almost a quarter of the present population are over retirement age 
and within the next ten years 
it will be more like half 
add the under 18s 
three million population 
a workforce of 
16.8 + 18.5 +17.4 = 52.7  percent 
without emmigration 
2030 workforce in Wales one and a half million 
pre-CoViD the unemployment rate in Wales was 
2.5 per cent 
now 5 per cent  
pre-covid there were 
37,500 unemployed in Wales - approx 
a billion pounds worth of investment to stop that 
reaching 40,000? 
half of them would be female, yes 
  
employers in Wales 
Admiral Insurance - ailing a bit  
Wales exports goods and services 
we assume that this list is in order of 
decresing value - biggest earner first 
but we are taking this from journalists who 
can't abide a list 
Aerospace Industries 
Business and Financial Services That is the likes of Admiral 
Cereals - food 
Chemical products 
Dairy products 
Electricity 
Electronics 
and then 
Iron and Steel 
and then all sorts of manufactures 
There are big companies the like of 
Admiral Insurance in Cardiff 
and the company they pushed aside as top employer is 
Iceland Foods 
and little businesses in the  
Swansea Bay area 
the main industries are 
Agriculture  
Aerospace 
Construction 
Electronics 
Emergency Services 
we think 
we very much think that 
something is very very obviously 
missing 
and we note that Cardiff is 
just over the water from 
Weston-Super-Mare 
Wales 
and in particular South Wales 
has vast 
tourist potential 
and no tourist industry to speak of 
and why? 
who the hell wants to hoiday in  
steel works smog 
ther are no many young people in Wales 
but tourism provides the sort of 
entry level jobs that would 
keep them at home 
perhaps Aerospace will recover 
from the CoViD drop in  
Airbus orders 
  
  
it is quite clear that schools in Wales 
make an effort to ensure that chldren 
living there can speak and understand Welsh 
a sort of anti-Esperanto language 
the question we would like to ask is 
of the people living in Wales  
how many who cannot speak or understand English 
speak and understand Welsh? 
 
we looked up some political data on Wales 
two parliaments for Wales 
Cardiff and Westminster 
in the Cardiff Assembly 
Labour 28 Tory 11 
at Westminster representing Wales 
Labour 22 Tory 14 
ll but one way up north of the 
Labour Westminster MPs representing Wales 
represent constituencies on the  
South Wales coast near Port Talbot 
The Tories represent east Wales and the  
nationalists - there are three - represent West Wales 
here is the economic scenario 
population of wales 3.1 - three point one - million 
 around 77 thousand constituents per MP 
that is average to high 
but if you look at the land area covered 
Welsh labour MPs have very small constituencies 
they rely on very dense populations 
close to industry 
if jobs moved from South Wales to other countries 
including England 
there would be pressure to  
reduce the number of constituencies in South Wales 
and only the Labour Party would feel the direct effects 
when SSI in Redcar folded 
it was clear that the reason given was that  
they had to sell the steel on world markets 
and world market prices were disasterously low 
10th May 2013 
Prince Charles - Prince of Wales 
make that 24th October 2011 
2 visits to Redcar blast furnace 
on one occasion... 
Prince Charles visited the steel plant  
ahead of the furnace being re-started in December 
the first of these visits was at the  
Tata Closure 
the second at the 
SSI re-opening 
it was during this shut down that 
the direct coal injection plant was added 
essentially 
Redcar Blast furnace was  
completely re-built for a 2013 re-start 
and shut down around three years later 
it is almost new 
and so 
three steel works equals overcapacity 
close the newest most efficent one 
now  
your late grandad's almost new car is 
standing in the garage 
and your daily driver has 
failed its MOT 
so you? 
Buy another car 
Redcar was only stood down because of 
overcapacity 
let's spend half a billion on an new one in South Wales 
and if it's government funded that will rise to 
the whole billion 
which would harm Labour and help the Tories most 
South Wales depopulation due to 
de-industrialisation 
or  
the building of 
more over-capacity in South Wales 
 we seem to have a 
pro-Labour government 
further evidenced by their recently 
doing the bidding of a former Labour leader 
regarding vaccination spacing 
 
21st January 2021  
we have a quote about  
Redcar British Steel railway station 
opened on 19 June 1978 
Northern discontinued service to the station in 
 December 2019 prior to this the station 
owned by Network Rail 
was surrounded by private land 
which prevented any public access to or from the station 
end quote 
that is a core problem  
it is a bit of an  
Emporor's new clothes thing 
tight security 
protecting a whole load of nothing 
discourages investment 
so far as can be seen  
the 'development corporation' has concentrated on  
defending and expanding its boundaries 
not on welcoming potential developers 
the policy seems like 
a landowner that owns a listed building that includes 
fabulous ornate stables  
and 
seeks plannng permission to install 
hundreds and thousands of 
bike racks 
on the site 
the difficulty being that London 'experts' 
cut and paste plans for converting 
The Pool of London 
docks into a tourist attraction 
Bankside power station to Tate Modern 
onto an area that does not have the footfall 
we won't dig out the company name but 
Redcar steel 'smelter' at one time supplied most of its steel to 
a company in Italy 
that company makes all sorts of little things 
kettles and toasters and such 
they switched to importing steel from China 
they say the great thing about 
beating your head against a brick wall 
or football 
is when you stop 
if you don't travel along the 
extension of the A66 that is termed the  
A1085 
you probably don't know the extent to which 
Redcar is  
Industrial 
not post-industrial 
in particular 
Redcar 'imports' slab steel from?? 
Scunthorpe? 
and it's huge mills at Lackenby 
process it 
in that sense 
Redcar is treating Scunthorpe
buy in nice clean steel 
and have no more to do with that nasty, dirty coal 
politicians will always try to work an angle 
Corona Virus has had no impact on  
heavy or primary industry  
BUT 
politicians in SOuth Wales are attempting to get 
to divert 
CoViD recovery money 
to prop up Port Talbot steel works 
the information that we have 
is that as at 30 January 2019 
the more recently refurbished blast furnace in 
Port Talbot 
has a life expectancy of 
5 to 7 years 
we suspect that having spent tens of millions on it  
at that time 
the 500 million pounds that Tata are asking 
the UK government for 
is to build one or two  
entirely new coal fired blast furnaces in South Wales 
for completion in around 2025 
and they take two years to build 
Redcar is ready to go with 
post fossil iron smelting 
the tension is between 
a Tees Valley mayoral election in May 2021 
and holding out for the demise of Port Talbot in 
2025 
it is obvious that 
the balance of opinion is that 
Port Talbot should  
go electric arc 
by 2025 
at whch point the only point of discussion is 
should primary steel production in the UK 
steel from iron ore 
be split between 
Scunthorpe and Redcar 
or should either be chosen for 
an integrated steel industry 
based on non-fossil carbon 
Redcar has the mothballed kit 
Scunthorpe has not 
 
   
 
20th January 2021  
to clarify here 
at present Vauxhall presently employ  
1,000 at Elsmere Port assembling vehicles and  
want to switch to electric vehicles  
a company wanting to switch to electric vehicles 
would have their site of assembly influenced if there was 
a local supply of steel  
made using non-fossil carbon 
as Redcar could do without any significant investment 
we try to walk a line between being 
entertaining 
and 
humerous 
we feel that as soon as we crack a Sam 
we will loose credibility 
at the same time we recognise that we do not have 
a static readership 
and so we do allow ourselves to repeat ourselves 
on occasion 
we keep hearing tht the powers that be believe that the  
1970s Redcar Ironworks - blast furnace - must be demolished 
in order to attract newer cleaner industry 
this in part is a mistake 
we hve no idea to what extent over the years the politicians have sapared 
a couple of  minutes to check out what is there
we have said before 
in the 1970s it was proposed that 
ALL IRON SMELTING IN THE UK 
wouldoccur in future in Redcar 
and plans were made for three  
blast furnaces 
each with a capacity of at least 
3 million tonnes of iron a year 
the one that got built was the one nearest Redcar 
the east blast 
the foundations for the other two are there to be seen 
running parallel 
these were to be 
BLAST FURNACES 
blast furnaces need a blast to offer 
that is not the deployment of explosives 
this is the employment of 
bloody great big 
FANS 
compressors 
world class blowers 
and  
when the blast was running.... 
Redcar was almost as noisy as an airport 
here's the thing 
if the bosses took the trouble to 
poke their heads into 
the TURBINE HALL 
they would see that 
at the point at which the politicians 
cut the project to save 
Scunthorpe and Port Talbot 
three THREE turbine compressors 
had been installed  
one for each blast furnace 
as is the way with these things 
of course the politicians had had to  
spread the work around the country and so 
each was made by a different company 
in a different works 
here's the kicker 
when SSI introduced  
direct coal injection 
a second turbine was commissioned 
as at mothballing five years ago 
number one turbine was 
providing the blast to the furnace 
and number two turbine was providing 
the blast for the direct coal injection plant 
number 2 had been never used and mothballed sice 1979 
there is absolutely 
NO NEED 
scrap kit that could find a use 
kit that could find a use 
does not include coke ovens 
 
perhaps you would like to check the following 
Ford don't make car in the UK 
they make diesel engines 
and nothing else 
in Dagnham, Essex 
they do employ thousands of design engineers in the UK 
a company called Stellantis 
own vauxhall  
and produced some sort of press release recently saying 
they may consider making electric cars in the UK 
but at present they don't make Vauxhalls or Opels in the UK 
or anything else for that matter 
Honda are in Swindon 
and they will close in this year 2021 
Renault Nissan make 
7,000 cars a year in Washington, Tyne and Wear 
Sunderland 
and 80 per cent of them are exported 
since the UK got a BrExit deal 
they have been very quiet 
Tort Talbot Steel is rolled in South Wales and 
made into cars by Honda in Swindon 
when Honda Swindon closes 
the UK government will be expected to export Port Talbot steel 
at ther expense 
if the BrExit deal allows it 
otherwise port Talbot wll close 
and Renault Nissan may rather like to get their steel from 
Lackenby Mills in Redcar 
and Lackenby Mills may quite like to get their steel from 
Redcar Steelworks 
  
  
 
18th January 2021  
  
we swore off publishing unemployment stats 
but we have a snippet 
we know a lot of people don't figure here 
because they are not working but they are being paid 
by the government 
the picture is not entirely bleak 
and on that note 
  
This is the December 2020 condition of 
the wall against many of the interviews in 
The Mighty Redcar 
were recorded 
today we saw another  
UK Prime Minister interview where he 
how shall we say it 
gave a somewhat out of date answer to a  
routine question 
by which we mean a question designed to 
give him the opportunity to re-inforce current advice 
and he gave a reprise of outdated advice 
there are several forms of memory loss 
Peter Falk died with memory loss 
he was the actor who played 
'just one last thing' 
detective, Columbo 
he died long after completely loosing any memory of 
ever having been an actor let alone, Columbo 
and jackie Charlton appears to have forgotten all about  
football, quite some time before he died 
there was a young lad who participated fully in this past Chrismas 
but due to CoViD now has no recollection of it at all 
in some sense we can divide memories into three types 
short, medium, and long term 
a very long time ago there was a public information film 
about how to use a Pelican crossing 
PeLiCon - Pedestrian, Light Controlled roadway crossing 
two characters 
a little kid and an old bloke 
kid makes to cross the road without recourse to the crossing 
bloke pulls him back and explains how to use the crossing 
including shepherding the boy across the road 
was this Deryck Guyler? - the voice over 
the thing is at the beginning the bloke hangs his umberella 
on the crossing button box 
as they reach the other side 
it starts to rain 
and the closing or punch line is 
Oh, wish I'd brought me brolly 
that's yer  
absent minded professor, memory loss 
that would never happen to a woman with their 
famed capacity for 
mulit-tasking 
make your own mind up about that 
and so the third type of memory loss 
entering 
ROM status 
havng a Read only memory 
remembering things but not being able to 
create new memories 
and that takes two forms 
complete inability to make new memories 
and  
loss of the ability to overwrite old memories 
in the PMs case 
he can't overwrite  
norovirus suppression advice 
with 
Corona virus suppression advice 
he may, however, retain the ability to 
master a new technology such as zoom 
we talk about such people as having 
a fixed idea about a particular topic 
despite themselves - having accepted the change 
but then forgotten the change 
there is also a hierachy of imperatives in memories 
say you have guests 
say you decide to 
nip upstairs to 
1 fetch a photo album from a bedroom wardrobe 
2 get a wee 
get the album first 
because if you get the wee -  higher priority mission 
you may froget about the album 
 
  
we put these little factoids out there 
from time to time 
this is more an idea than a fact 
a little while ago we mentioned that 
one of the vicars of Coatham was 
Rev Allan Wordsorth 
and that his middle son was called Allan 
and that is an unusual spelling of Alan 
and there may be a better explanation out there but 
poet William Wordsworth lived in three homes in the Lake District 
he had some negative things to say about the second one 
the chimney didn't draw 
the fire smoked the house out 
and it was called  
Allan Banks 
it is called Allan Banks 
 
  
 
16th January 2021  
Ricker has been locked down for 10 days now 
dodging the jobsworths 
he expects to be home for at least four or five more days 
as so some writing about concepts 
we have referred in the past to 
Hull University's Four Musketeers 
four student house mates 
Jack Cohen - embryologist 
Mike Jackson - school teacher 
Ken Bowler - University lecturer 
and a politician 
the spluttery one on spitting image 
Roy Hattersley 
this is the story of  
Mike Jackson  
it's a story of the law of  
unintended consequences 
Mike Jackson married a girl from   
The Channel Isles 
essentially French islands in the English Channel 
administered by the British 
she was a Roman Catholic and we are talking 
1960s and 1970s 
so they are young married couple and they have sex and they make babies 
they make 4 daughters 
that may be seen as 
enough 
it may be difficult to see how they could afford more children 
but she is a Roman Catholic woman in the 1970s 
she's not going on 
The Pill 
so he has the snip - a vasectomy seeing as how he's 
not Roman Catholic 
Mike is a head of secience 
Gllbrook in Eston on Teesside 
here's the unintended consequence 
every time a new female joins his department 
Senor Jackson propositions than with the news that 
he's had the snip 
and that brings us to one of the teachers he propositioned 
we have not remembered her name 
she did make it to the gutter press 
Probably the News of the World 
when she was a little girl 
like all little girls?? 
she was pressed to make a good marriage 
and in her circumstances the best rout to that was to 
jon a Young Farmers Club 
so she married a farmer 
and she had a son 
and her son was seriously disabled 
and we are talking the 1960s in the UK 
and farmers are being assailed by the officers of 
ADAS 
we don't know what that stands for 
but it was a government attempt to drag farmers 
out of the dark ages 
something along the lines of 
agricultural development assistance service 
but farming family presented with a child with 
cerebral palsy or Downs.... 
say 
that doesn't run in our family 
you must have been unfaithful 
womb on legs, sperm are tiny people, egg makes no 
genetic contribution 
must be somebody else's kid 
divorced and dealing with a disabled son 
turns to the church 
and the vicar 
gives her some 
and gets defrocked and into the News of the World 
same sort of thing as 
The Vicar of Stifky 
in a barrel at the end of the pier  
that's the thing with farmers 
they do something all day and every day 
and people defer to their 'expertise' 
their empirical mumbo jumbo 
oh is that racist? 
 
  
it's very difficult to find an analogy that 
has universal cut through 
this one is construction industry derived 
in the UK in the 1960s the thing was 
DIY 
do it yourself 
and the prime power tool was the 
electric drill 
early ones had a lot of add-ons 
the main problem was the drill bit 
binding in the material being drilled 
this would tend towards the drill bit stoppng 
and the drill turning 
we normally say 
drill and drill bit 
some people say 
drill and drill driver 
swapping the names around 
because a drill driver suddenly snatching around 
could cause harm 
almost all electrical drills have provision for a side handle 
so that holding the drill can be a two handed job 
all very clear 
nothing to do with our analogy 
as time has gone by 
in professional workshops and the home 
a second power tool has emerged 
the angle grinder 
when you drill a hole you want it to be straight 
you do different things with an angle grinder 
if you peruse a power tool catalogue you will see 
drills are depicted as is 
angle grinders ALWAYS have the side handle attached 
there is a very important reason for this 
Is there anybody out there who remembers 
Rowan and Martin's Laugh In? 
there was this running sketch line 
sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me 
and one example was 
it may be a 
chrome vanadium torque driver to you 
but it's a 
socket to me 
angle grinders are used for cut off 
and for 
dressing 
dressing is essentially the smoothing of a 
rough welded joint 
whilst dressing a component the angle grinder will 
be twisted all around in a sort of 
metal carving action 
when doing this the operator can experience the 
grinder suddenly twisting, leaping, in their hands 
this has a very significant cause 
to you this is an angle grinder 
to the universe 
this is a  
gyroscope 
you hold it one way and as a heavy spinning disc 
it will resist being twisted 
and at a certain point it will leap to another 
orientation that it find equivalent to the start position 
just becaue you see something in a particular light 
does not mean that that is its entire identity 
 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ricker did make his Christmas blueberry muffins... 
Back in the days of the 
Bow Street Runners 
the police were mainly a deterant to street violence 
by the time we get to the days of 
Dixon of Dock Green 
1960s UK TV series 
the police have a detective branch 
this detective branch divided into three 
1 plain clothes police - detectives 
2 crime scenes investigators CSI 
3 CPS Crown Prossecution Service 
the CPS took over from the police 
most aspects of decisions about who to charge with what 
police in the 60s had solicitors on the staff 
but they did not have to refer cases to an independent body 
for assessment before disposing of the matter 
in that sense 
the police made enquiries - as to fact 
in the same sense, consideration of 
circumstances fell to the CPS 
unfortunately 
under Home Office pressure 
statistics began to over shadow justice 
in a sense the CPS were to be a 
permanent professional Grand Jury 
in the American sense 
their deliberations are supposed to be a 
pre-trial hearing 
of the evidence collected by the police 
we have just had statistics that show - for example - that 
the vast majority of children assaulted or killed 
as assaulted in their own home - not in care or outside the home 
and that almost all child victims of violence are either 
under the age of 12 months 
or over the age of 16 years 
the total number is in the two a week ball-park 
in a population of 60 million 
the fantasists who live in their own little world 
expected CoViD lockdown to inflte that figure into the 
hundreds per week 
they still 'live in hope' that hundreds and thousands of 
battered wives will emerge from lockdown seeking help 
thye therefore exert  
celebrity pressure on government to do two things 
get the charge rate up for familial assault 
get the conviction rate up for familial assault 
this pressures 
police, CPS and courts to 
sift through cases, reports of incidents, etc 
looking for 
cases where convction is likely 
cases where one party has a 
back story full of pathos -a tragic back story 
and the other has not 
this is to avoid cases where juries may conclude 
six of one and half a dozen of the other 
and this is why 
police and CPS will do all they can to avoid the stricture on 
all other witnesses 
to 
speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth 
police evidence tends to be 
partial and incomplete 
partial in the sense of being 
dressed up and edited to promote the best chance of 
generating the statistics the Home Office demand 
The Home Office motto? 
Every trial a shown trial 
not the 
Department of Justice 
but  
the Department of Convictions 
it is interesting to hear local authorities say that 
they are suffering a loss of income 
because they are not having so much contact with the public in lockdown 
and are suffering a loss of fee income as a result 
and having to keep officers employed in a reduced workload 
the police CPS etc 
have lost sight of being employed by 
The Crown or The People 
they seek clients 
politicians, celebrities, charities or individuals 
and seek to achieve a result - a conviction - for their client 
 
15th January 2021  
we don't like making mistakes 
but we do like to correct them 
Ricker has had a brain wave 
he can't remember what he said about 
inquiry versus enquiry 
but it was something about  
relative seriousness 
anyway, as he now points out 
the clue is in the difference between 
the parallel is the difference between 
insure and ensure 
we insure against something that 
may or may not happen 
we ensure that something either does or does not happen 
we ensure that we have  
locked the doors and windows 
we insure against 
somebody breaking in 
when you ask a 'Enquiries' you are asking somebody who 
knows 
because you are a person who does not know 
in an inquiry 
the assumption is that it is a search for  
information, conclusions, that noboby knows 
or nobody is clear about 
at the start of the inquiry 
otherwise you would have a 
statement 
to be the response to enquiries about the matter 
you may enquire about the time of day 
or whether the latest product is in stock 
and get a definitive answer 
perhaps the railway companies should have an 
inquiries window 
so they can put a wet finger in the air to  
try to guess when the next train will depart 
naturally 
police enquiries are  
exercises in pure fiction 
 
  
 
13th January 2021  
Ricker thinks that somewhere in his 
rat's nest 
there is a copy of a book called 
Mathematics for the intelligent non-mathematician 
we thnk of that whenever we add content 
we do get quite a bit frustrated by 
the Dysnification - anthropomorphisation - of viruses 
in that context we have referred to - for example - 
a virus being like a sperm without a tail
we can throw in words or term for you to folow up 
a micelle or micella is an aggragate of  
surfactant molecules 
dispersed in a liquid 
forming a colloidal suspension 
a typical micelle in waterforms an agregate with 
the water loving, water friendly, hydrophilic ends of the  
molecules 
on the outside surface of a sphere 
and the hydrophobic ends of the melocules 
huddled together in the core of the sphere 
micelles are formed by self assembly of  
amphiphilic molecules 
molecules - not life forms 
perhaps we will confuse here but 
think of 
salted butter 
the salt is hydrophilic and the butter is hydrophobic 
and if salted butter were a molecule 
it would be amphiphilic 
as in ambidextrous not 
ambidextrous means having two right hands 
amphiphilic means 
more like hermaphrodite  
son of Hermes and Aphrodite 
having both boy and girl bits 
both water loving and water shunning bits or ends 
at this point a major diversion 
daphnia pulex 
common water flea 
born pregnant 
all such water fleas are female, normally 
but in bad conditions - their pond drying up 
some will turn male and  
eggs rather than live young will be delivered 
the main reason is that eggs will survive when 
dry as dust 
water fleas will not 
however, it is in this 
sexual form of reproduction  
that genetic variation can occur 
a flea born from an unfertilised mother will be 
a clone of her mother 
a flea born of her mother and her mother;s trans sister 
is not a clone and 
has some prospect of exhibiting genetic variation 
partly by being not so  
in bred 
and partly because the fertilisation process introduces 
opportunities for mutation 
and so the virus is a micell in the sense that it is 
assembled by forces of an electrostatic nature 
usually, protein on the outside, nucleic acid on the inside 
it's a step up from a micell but only one of two steps up 
absolutely NOT in ANY way sentient - capable of 
consciousness or thought 
regarding those steps up... 
another word to be aware of is 
flocculation 
a process of contact and adhesion  
whereby particles of a dispersion 
form larger sized clustered 
coagulation is the same or similar 
they are processes of  
chemistry 
involving  
phase change 
essentially, solid out of liquid 
the presence of a different chemical can cause  
coagulation 
for instance 
broadly 
renet 
converting milk into cheese 
renet is an enzyme 
but an enzyme is a molecule 
it is not a little green man wielding a screw gun 
 
  
we are not clear as to whether 
the UK 1872 Infant Life Protection Act 
still pertains 
we suspect that it will have been subsumed into 
later legislation 
but you never can tell 
without checking 
parliament loves new, exciting, game changing legislation  
not so keen on spending time on tidying up the pre-existing 
however, the crime or problem to which it refers 
is so far lost in the mists of time that 
its name has been adopted by many including 
Wallgreen as Boots 
as a trade name or product category 
we refer to 
child farm and baby farm 
and so we are obliquely refering to the 
mother and baby/laundry units in Ireland 
a report recently published 
in 1870 The Times - The Times of London 
repoted that it believed... 
Our conviction is that babies are murdered in scores, 
by these women - baby farmers -  
that adoption is only a fine phrase fot slow or sudden death 
Ireland's war of independence lasted from 
21st Jan 1919 to 11 July 1922 
and so that law would have applied at the time it was passed 
in Ireland 
but was unlikely to have been used against the 
Roman Catholic Church 
we suspect that some of these children 
those in London and other cities 
did probably meet an early end 
but some would have survived 
enslaved to their adoptive parents 
we have suspicions that it was the supply of this latter class 
that inspired the Roman Church's opposition to 
sex education and contraception 
we hope that all of this is as much in a the past as the likes of 
Boots 
seem to think it is 
what we witness now is something somewhat different 
the exploitation of vulnerable children was become more complex 
they are being farmed 
we should note that 
tribbles are a  
Star Treck 
invention 
they are not so much being farmed for their work in laundries 
or households 
they are being farmed for the purpose of 
virtue signalling 
the purist may say that 
charity undermines the welfare state 
the charitable.... 
there exist these three 
faith, hope and charity 
the charitable may say 
charities are more agile than government departments 
charity? 
there exist these three 
faith, hope and love 
do people give to charities out of love? 
or as hush money to pay for the tidying of 
something unsightly from public view? 
do people give to Cancer Research UK 
because cancer is a bad thing 
because people suffer from cancer 
because the donor hopes to finance 'a cure' before they get it 
does that mean they have little faith in government sponsored research? 
because they or a loved one has been cured of cancer and they wish 
to pay a suppliment over and above the taxes they pay? 
the poor will always be with us 
well do you compare living standards of today's deprived communities with 
those of all but a handful of people in 1872?   
all but the landed gentry and royalty 
the three estates of UK society are 
well they were... 
clergy, nobility, commoners 
the fourth estate is the 
main stream media 
the fifth estate is the blogosphere 
that's a somewhat 'revolutionary' view 
bass of wikileaks movies etc. 
alternatively... 
the first estate is royalty 
the second estate is the nobility 
the third estate is the gentry - including  
new money such as industrial wealth not based on land ownership 
the fourth estate is the clergy 
and the fifth estate is the media - all of it 
and the establishment of 
Methodist style religions 
is an artifact of - cause or effect? - the question 
gentry or clergy in third place? 
in essence because the clergy were not willing to 
give place to the gentry 
the gentry set up rival religions 
you wanna work for us 
you come to our church 
essentially, the same Bible - the King James Version 
but cheaper buildings 
even today your typical Methodist chapel is 
indistinguishable from a 
village hall 
but they sing a lot 
the very term fifth estate raises suspicions 
it sounds a lot like 
fifth columnist 
in general 
fifth columnism is equivalent to entryism 
joining a group whose beliefs or cause you oppose  
to learn about it or damage it 
a famous fifth columnist was 
Norway's Quisling 
he lead a political party that had never won a seat 
but proclaimed himself leader 
after the Germans invaded 
he was shot at the end of the war 
that is legally executed 
after a trial 
 
  
We are supposing that microwave oven have been 
around in the UK for about 40 years 
and they have a twin in a way in terms of 
technology at the service of the masses 
a little earlier, we suppose, came 
the jet to the sun 
package holidays 
airline food - we understand - has often been referred to 
by cabin crew, as 
cuisine a la ting 
airline meals have since the beginning of the 
mass market phase 
been re-heated in on board microwave ovens 
the ting referring to the signal that the food is ready for service 
it appears to be a part of the modern  
Primary Care health check 
are you eating well? 
do you eat tak aways?
fresh fruit and veg will keep for quite a while 
depending on storage conditions 
but the sort of equipment used to convert 
fresh food into ready meals 
is no more available in the 
modern deprived household 
than on an airliner 
you can supply a fresh whole carrot to a family 
and expect it to stay fresh for a week or two 
you can't cut it into batons and expect the same shelf life 
processed food - even just skinned or chopped - has to be 
packaged in a protective atmosphere to have a reasoable 
use by date 
a story from the bakery of a local Tesco store 
Tesco to some bake in store and some of their stores take in 
part baked goods, and finish them in store 
so the customer says to the worker 
all this bread has today's date on it 
can I have a loaf with tomorrow's date on it 
sorry you'll have to come back tomorrow for that 
there is a reason for this 
long life bread  
has 
addatives - chemicals - in it to help it keep 
in-store baked goods may not have those addatives 
that will please the 'progressives' but confound 
the traditionalists 
their traditions, however, are less than half a century old 
Long long ago 
before the development of 
breast implants 
the falsies were worn outside the skin 
there are always tales of young women returning 
to school after the summer break with huge chests 
and somebody bumps into them 
and a cup of their empty bra collapses... 
the premiere exponant of the big chest was 
in the day 
Mae West 
and the idea came that a  
life jacket  
should keep the casualty's face out of the water 
and so they changed from the traditional 
load of cork strips all around the chest 
to keep your head out of the water 
to lfe preservers that have  
most of their bouyancy in the 
tit area 
and so they were called  
Mae Wests 
in the famous? film 
I'm no angel 1933 
Mae West says 
Beulah, peel me a grape 
photographs can inform as well as decieve 
one recent school lunch photo succeeded in  
portraying a loaf of bread as a submarine bun 
but the revealing ones got less publicity 
on the lines of peel me a grape... 
some of the fruit and veg were cut open 
the implication being 
look at this tomato we've been sent 
it's full of 
SEEDS 
look at this pepper 
it's got seeds and is almost empty 
why are we being sent this reject food? 
like the new mum hosting her first dinner party... 
sitting beside hubby's boss 
she suddenly realises she has 
cut up all the meat on the boss's plate 
two worlds 
one world promoting five a day 
and another saying 
how do you expect us to prepare fresh fruit and veg? 
  
12th January 2021  
we probably need to preface this with a little fact checking 
Chester Road Schools were at the junction of 
and  
Stewart Street 
and so they were nearly opposite  
where Sunderland Royal Hospital now is 
nothing particular is marked on present day maps of the site 
Sunderland Technical College 1901 - 1961 
Sunderland Polytechnic 1969 - 1992 
University of Sunderland 1992 to date 
what follows refers to Sunderland Polytechnic in 1977 
what we had was  
Chester Road Infants School 
1895 - 1981 
so 
at around 1977  
Sunderland technical college 
was in process of converting itself into 
a polytechnic 
Chester Road Shool was 
Infant, Junior and Secondary all on one site 
at a time when 'normal school' ended at age 14 
and so there were lots of quite big buildings 
clearly a technical college would not have a 
Biology department that took in ecology 
and so  
at some point 
a polytechnic biology department was established in the 
secondary building at Chester Road Schools 
at that time there was only the one staff toilet 
and the women in the department launched a complaint over 
the head of department emerging from that toilet 
without having fully adjusted his dress 
there was a chap running the ecology course that Ricker was on 
there were two 
other Durham University Zoology or Ecology graduates 
who had been recruited to the department 
at this time we surmise that since at that time 
technical colleges were not independent but 
supervised by local authority education committees 
a lot of education committee members were 
co-opted as board members of the polytechnic 
the core issue here was that 
the council 
decided to row back on allocating the redundant secondary school building 
to the polytechnic 
and decided to 
'demolish it, so that the Primary School could have a 
larger playground 
in that context 
the boys and girls had separate playgrounds 
but the Primary and Secondary boys had the same playground 
times have changed - a little 
the modern emphasis is on age rather than gender separation 
in shades of the new  
Mo Mowlam academy in Redcar 
there were no 
Modern Schools 
pupils who failed their 11+ 
stayed at Chester Road in the Secondary department 
eventually staying until age 15 
as the school leaving age was raised 
David Hutton was the son of the head in 1961 
David went on to be Bishop of Liverpool 
The Secondary kids did little esle but 
music 
and now we conclude that we were wrong 
it was the infant department that was closed first 
and became a department building for the polytechnic 
we don't know how much of The University of Sunderland is now 
on that site in Chester Road but 
some at least, of it is in Chester Road 
poyltechnics gaining independence from local authorities 
in light of  
democracy 
dictating that polttechnic buildings should be demolished to  
create playgrounds 
and nature reserves should be up-rooted to provide 
football pitches 
because 'that's what people want' 
was a significant step 
 
 
  
one fine day our Ricker was about the business of 
The Unversity of Sunderland and the University of Dundee 
he was in the delightful 
Glen Clova 
in Scotland ya know 
and he came across a baby rabbit in a snare 
and he released it 
and he thought 
I should have taken that to show the girls 
two girls 
one Margret Rule 
not the one who salvaged the ship 
see now the truth is out, 
Ricker wanted his friend Janet to join him on his course  
at Sunderland  
at Sunderland means at Sunderland ...
in Sunderland would mean within the boundaries of the 
can't believe this CITY 
anyway 
casual observers of Ricker and Janet had begun to utter 
get a room 
but Margret would have been a lot quicker to offer a room 
anyway, the only person who passed that course was 
a Primary School teacher in Sunderland who was 
doing it for a laugh 
another problem with uni 
if the student has a better job than the lecturer 
and works for the same employer... 
the tutor does not feel his job is threatened by passing the student 
setting that aside 
we have here three things 
Day of the Triffids 
Tribble Trouble 
and 
Mathew 6 : 25-34 and Luke 12 22-32 
Consider the lillies of the field 
how they grow 
they toil not 
neither do they spin 
but I say onto you  
that even Solomon in all his glory 
was not arrayed like one of these 
it goes on to say God takes all this trouble to 
make the lilies so beautiful 
knowing that one day soon they will be cut down and dried 
and set into the fire as fuel 
P G? Wodehouse 
humerously uses the phrase to refer to 
the idle rich who do no labour 
Spock referring to tribbles... 
whick are small furry un-sentient 
un-sentient - with no consciousness 
that did nothing but eat and procreate - have babies 
says  
They remind me of the lilies of the field 
they toil not, neither do they spin 
we are not happy with a police service who 
send out the lads to  
take down the personal details of  
prosperous women they like the look of 
who are following the rules 
and excuse them 
breaking up raves and house parties 
they are contemplating 
the lilies of the field 
and not tending the hoards of tribbles 
and so 
somebody set tht snare and 
the baby rabbit was probably not worth  
the trouble of cooking at that age 
and its protestations were probably warning off 
more suitable game 
so on balance Ricker probably did what the hunter would have done 
release the little on to grow up to a useful size 
di the fact that he did not show the bunny to Margret 
indicate that he did not want to 
deepen his relationship with her? 
for the sake of a Janet who naffed off anyway 
 
11th January 2021  
You may have noticed that we have 
 a bit of a think about universities 
what we do want to clarify is the concept that 
 what universities are achieving 
is to bolster the old addage 
or saying 
clogs to clogs in three generations 
if you see universities as 
 engines for social mobility 
if you target the disadvantaged for help in 
replacing the prosperous 
you take a talented waif 
make them 
on a Boaty McBoatface basis 
and then you say to their children 
we ain't havin' nuffin to do with you 
you toffs 
it's not social advancement 
or even social equalisation 
it's  
social churn 
the old PolPot concept of 
Year Zero 
and 
Continuous Revolution 
you are not eliminating the elite 
you are swapping personnel within the elit 
George Orwell 
Animal Farm 
all animals are equal  
but 
some animals are more equal than others 
you end up with an 
inexperienced elite 
a randomly selected bunch of idealists 
who don't know how to get the roof fixed 
you can't just pluck people from obscurity 
and shoehorn them into the elite 
by a purge of the 
old guard 
meet the new boss 
same as the old boss 
journalists pride themselves on  
holding government to account 
that is just cover 
what they actually do is 
press government for 
an exclusive 
and that pushes them into these mad crazy 
cut and paste 
policy developments 
that one news organisation can claim as 
a scoop 
give us a scoop on your response to this 
'crisis' 
or we'll publish as scoop on your  
sex life or finances 
that DOES NOT 
protect the public from incompetent government 
it exposes the public to 
back of an envelope calculations 
one of the worst side-effects of  
democratising knowledge - or at least qualifications 
is what the leftists would call 
entryism 
in particular 
building on concept of 
 the squaddie - grunt footsoldier 
carrying a 
fieldmarshal's batton  
in his knapsac 
we have all sorts 
police, journalists, politicins 
deciding 
the only thing that's stopping me from doing 
brain surgery 
is that I haven't bought a licence 
the idea that if you are a copper or a graduate 
your warrant card or degree certificate 
makes you an all powerful polymath 
 
 
  
The Dilbert Principle 
Scott Adams, incompetent people get promoted 
out of the work flow 
and so the fading  
managing director or 
chief operating officer
is 'promoted to'  
non-executive chair 
and not sacked because 
all her mates are in the same boat and 
they could screw up a whole bunch of companies 
if they felt slighted 
The Peter Principle  
is about people who are  
promeoted into a job they can't do 
because they were such a success in  
an entirely different role 
Parkinson's Law  
is that 
work expands so as to  
fill the time available for its completion 
and so we will wkae up every morning 
for the foreseeable 
to find out what has been made illegal today 
because  
legislators 
presenteeism 
opposite of absenteeism 
where people show up where they should not be 
causes them to 
do something 
anything 
just to feel needed 
  
  
we have done an experiment that we do not recommend you copy 
what we have done is  
for a few days 
we sanitised a hand with the standard 
alcohol and glycerine hand sanitiser 
but did not wash it with water 
what we want to emphasise here is the  
problem we have with 
 
  
fist bumps 
although the effect here has not been perfect 
the pictures illustrate that 
the palm side of your hand is 
broadly speaking 
self cleansing 
because of the type of skin that covers it 
the back of the hand has different skin and 
in normal use is not  
rubbed on anything 
dead skin that is kept dry 
and that includes being washed in alcohol 
that is 'wet with' alcohol is dry 
if the alcohol is strong enough 
will not rub off as easily as wetted skin 
and 
the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet 
get dirty and stay clean 
automatically 
it's part of their function 
dead skn on other parts of your body 
absorb dirt and build up 
it's the contrast we are trying to illustrate here 
if you have pathogens on your hands... 
they are much more likely to be on the backs of your hands 
the handshake has evolved as the most appropriate form of 
social touching 
because no matter what you do the palms of your hands will be 
the cleanest part of your skin 
  
  
and here we get a bit deeper 
people have evolved from creatures that emerged fro 
the oceans 
skin  
skin is essentially skin 
skin originally was all 
fish skin 
all other skin is a development from fish skin 
we use fish skin to cover gaps from the likes of burns 
skin is essentially designed to 
at least occasionally 
get wet 
setting aside any consideration that this patient has 
vitiligo 
mottled skin 
this hand was washed with  
pure - no soap etc. - tap water  
and rubbed well with a towel after getting thoroughly wet 
it is the length - duration - of the towelling that matters 
paper towels that simply mop up water are not going to do this 
get the skin wet and then rub with the towel for the 
Happy Birthday singing 
this will lift the dead skin 
and the conclusion here is... 
although cosmetics companies do sell 
exfoliant creams - tooth past fro the skin 
a lot of women - in particular 
through constant use of 
foundation and concealer 
never get their skin really 
WET 
and potentially contaminated layers of dead skin build up 
an infection and cancer risk 
and most people will remember the woman who gave herself 
cancer by using talcum powder instead of washing 
 
what we are not hearing about at present is 
norovirus 
the standard advice is that 
hand washing is more effective against norovirus than is alcohol 
the problem here is that 
SARS corona viruses - respiratory viruses - are in exhaled droplets 
norovirus is in little traces of faecal matter 
if you effectively wash all the shit off your hands 
you won't put norovirus onto surfaces 
if you perfunctorily douse your shitty hands with alcohol 
the alcohol may not seep all the way into you faecal trace 
if you wash your hands clean 
you won't kill the virus 
but you will consign it to the sewers 
if you pick up faecal material in public WC 
and rinse your hands and dry them with 
a wall mounted hand dryer, until they no longer feel wet 
you heard the term 
sticks like  
shit on a blanket? 
all that hand washing stuff is inaccurate and 
for the suppression of 
salmonella and norovirus 
not 'flu, or SARS or CoViD 
this is all about the 
cut and paste approach of UK governments to 
any sort of crisis 
the deep seated belief that the only people who know anything 
about anything 
are or were at Oxford 
it is generally called 
Not invented here syndrome 
take an inappropriate Oxford idea 
in preference to a  
fits like a glove solution from 
the provinces 
most people would think Oxford was in the provinces 
for UK government  
anything outside  
Whitehall and Oxford  
is provincial 
and that includes 6 million 'Londoners' 
who are assumed to sleep in the  
Home Counties 
to take public health advice suitable for norovirus 
and cut and paste CoViD at the masthead 
is like  
giving a sugary drink to a diabetic in need of insulin 
norovirus suppressed - CoViD rampant 
 
  
People have  
flashbacks 
sometimes a flashback can trigger an emiphany 
a lot of that Freudian paschoanalysis 
that regression therapy 
depends on 
digging out a repressed memory and confronting it with 
a more mature mind 
Our Ricker had a flashback like that over the holidays 
he suddenly remembered something he used to do 
he still can't remember at what age he did it 
or for how long 
Ricker now remembers that for some period of time 
probably late teens to mid thirties?? 
he was in the habit of 
trying and failing 
regularly 
to sleep with his head 
UNDER the pillow 
for fear of being battered in his sleep 
as he had been battered in the playground 
and that widening out into a reluctance to 
sleep in a strange bed 
not being adventurous 
having a deep seated  
fear of success 
as other may have a fear of failure 
in  no way has he afraid of the boy who kicked his face in 
the boy was not big or a bully
the stress evolved not from the incident but from the  
experience of the universal conclusion that 
Ricker had it coming 
for being such a smart arse 
that coming from  
school, teachers every authority figure 
and Ricker being the child expelled 
despite him being quite popular with the children if not the teachers 
and then to be constantly schooled in the belief that it was 
noblese oblige 
his duty to 
give the little guys a chance 
Ricker never answered questions in class 
until all the other kds had had a go 
if the other kids got the right answer 
Ricker would be silent 
he would not jostle to be the first with the obvious answer 
and sometimes his classmates were seen by teachers as 
being ley off the hook 
by the idea that 
Ricker will know 
a sense amongst teachers that
figuring things out for themselves 
the top streamat the Grammar School was for the 
slavish rote learners 
the kids who screamed the place down if 
he actual exam wasn't exactly the same as the 
past papers 
the second to top stream was for the kids who 
figured things out 
in the day there was a motor racing driver called
he had preferred maths at school because 
learn a few simple rules and figure it out in the exam 
as opposed to - one may say - History with all those dates to remember 
some people lke remembering 
some folk like figuring things out 
we are told that people such as footballer Bobbie Charlton 
and a rugby player called Wilkinson  
were very reliable because 
they practiced relentlessly 
and so  
James Hunt would not be a welcome guest speaker at 
most schools 
his advice would be 
gut it guys 
bin the flannel and stick to the pain points 
not  philosophy beloved of teachers who 
above all 
want to keep kids occupied 
 we can't pass up the opportunity to tell the Sam about the  
fighter pilot invited to speak at a school 
and he's describing a dog fight and 
he appears to be saying 
and those Fockers came right at me out of the sun 
and the teach was just about to break in and explain that 
 Fockers is a make or brand of 'plane 
whenthe veteran said 
and them fuckers were Meshersmitts 
so many surprises when young people leave the 
enchanted land that is 
school 
school is about finding 
inefficient ways to do things 
in order to put the time in 
 
  
Lawrence Ennis 1871 - 1938 
a Scottish born engineer 
best known as the 
Managing Director of 
Dorman Long 
and specifically.... 
the main supervisor of 
The construction of,br.
The Sydney Harbour Bridge 
Here's the thing 
not a local lad 
when he was 15 he emigrated to the United States 
from West Calder in Scotland 
he worked for the  
American Bridge Company 
and didn't join Dormans until 
1903 
as  
superintendant of bridge and construction works 
in 1905 he was made works manager 
and General Manager pf the company in 1915 
and a company director in 1924 
his OBE came in 1918 in recognition of his 
conversion of the works into 
a munitions manufactury during the Great - First World - War 
and so
and so at the time of his elevtion to the board 
he 
'naffed off' to Australia 
He lived in Australia from 1924 to 1932 
to supervise the constrution of this 
Sydney Harbour Bridge thingy 
took 'im long enough 
when he got 'home' he was made  
Managing Director 
and supervised the building of the 
Warrenby Works 
people see pictures of the Sydney Harbour Bridge and 
get into the habit of thinking the toy 
Sunderland got built over the River Wear is similar
Sydney Harbour Bridge has 
side by side on one level 
six lanes of roadway, four train and tram tracks
it is 
mahusive 
3,770 feet long 
160 feet wide 
longest span 1,650 feet 
mid span clearance above the water - 161 feet 
railway 4 foot eight and a half inch gauge 
electrified 1500 volt DC 
since 1992 there has been a road tunnel to  
relieve the traffic demand 
motor vehicles only 
an earlier attempt to releve the traffic
Ronan Point 
the tower block that was demolshed by a gas cooker 
Reed and Mallick now call themselves 
Reema 
People probably assume that  
Dormans no longer exists 
Dorman Long  
founded 1875 
formerly base on Teesside 
now located in  
Northamptonshire England 
www.dlteng.com 
in 1934 
Dormans built  
The Newport Bridge 
and The Newport Bridge between 
Middlesbrough and Billingham (Stockton-on Tees) 
is in  
massive daily use 
BUT 
all this fuss about  
The Tansporter Bridge.... 
a bridge nobody ever used... 
and what did the authorities who constantly want to spend  
more and more money on the Transporter 
do? 
they bolted the Newport Bridge down 
to save keeping the mechanism in good order 
in 1967 14 steel making companies were
they included Dorman Long 
but not the bridge building arm 
in 1982 Redpath Dorman Long was bought by 
Trafalgar House 
and merged into 
Cleveland Bridge and Engineering 
we will not attempt the correct spelling of
but Kvaerner is a Norwegian Heavy Industrial Company 
Oslo then 
Aker bought that and named itself Kvaerner 
you see all these changes of ownership
Cleveland Bridge - after a management buy-ot and before 
selling out to 
The Al Rushaid Group in Dubai 
got the contract to build the 
New Wembley Stadium 
actually Al Rushaid 2000 
Wenbley Stadium 2002 
£60 million of steelwork 
BUT 
Hollandia were a sub-contractor to Cleveland Bridge 
Cleveland Bridge were involved because of the arch over the pitch 
Cleveland Bridge pulled out of the project in 2004 
it was a bit complicated but it appears that 
when Cleveland Bridge pulled out 
Hollandia became direct sub-contractors to 
amin contractors  
Multiplex or Brookfield Multiplex  
and the Hollandia workforce had their conditions degraded 
and 200 were sacked for striking 
and Brookfield Multiplex balamed Cleveland Bridge 
and they had a big law suit 
Dormans Built The Newport Bridge 
and Cleveland Bridge built 
The Middlesbrough Transporter Bridge 
 in the 1960s  
four brothers called 
Scott 
were pupils at Coatham Grammar 
at the time Cleveland Bridge were building 
The Forth Road Bridge 
and 
The Severn Bridge 
The Scott brothers dad was  
reputed to be 
the boss 
at Cleveland Bridge 
they lived in a big house in 
Saltburn by the Sea 
in Yorkshire, North Riding 
at the time but now in 
Redcar and Cleveland 
we are reckoning that the Scott house was 
the last house on the north west end of 
Victoria Terrace 
one day Ricker gets home from school and his mam says 
I've been to see Mrs Scott 
apparently Maisie was well impressed by the house 
even though she only got as far as a ante-room 
like there was a sofa in the hall 
the only reason Ricker could work out why mama had been to 
 Chez Scott 
was that 
Ricker was tutoring Scott sprog number 3 
because he had landed a place at Oxford to  
read medicine 
and he hadn't done  
A' level biology 
and the teaching staff 
sorry lads 
didn't feel up to it 
Mr Stott and Mr Bulmer 
Mr Stott was on a short break from life in  
South Africa 
a>
wasn't a graduate 
but his best claim to fame... 
no not that he drove for Reilies coaches,BR>
at the time of the Dibble Bridge tragedy 
no 
when DB was in the navy 
he had sailed somewhere near 
The Galapagos Islands 
he called them 
Gala pagos 
 not Galapa gos 
and he'd nearly been there 
wrong again 
Scott I R 
was a year older than 
Scott P M 
there was a Scott I 
but he was younger and probably not one of the brothers 
Scott I R was known as Ian 
and Scott I was probably Ian 
and you wouldn't name two brother the same 
and so Ricker was probablytutoring his classmate Ian's 
kid brother 
there was a problem 
we are kind of guessin that what ricker was doing 
for the most part was 
providing Paul, Peter, whatever
previous papers of A' level or more likely 
special level biology papers 
so Ricker does not know whether Peter Scott? actually sat 
any biology papers since he had an unconditional offer from Oxford 
so one day 
Ian Scott approaches Ricker with the proposition that 
There are only two sexes 
men and women 
so this was around 1970 and Ricker had a copy of 
Scientific American 
and in it there was a graphic putting 
drawings of people on a line across the page
Ricker does not know whether he ever showed this to The Scotts 
or what happened to it 
this would have been an issue sparked by a question from a past paper 
you can imagine the conflict in the mind of the son of 
a major industrialist faced with strictures from him 
about how to deal, as a doctor or medical student 
with patients who were 
dimorphic - let alone trans 
we started to exercise with  
Lawrence Ennis
Whether or not you accept that 
Dormanstown 
is IN or NEAR Redcar 
There is ahuge headquarters for a social housing organisation 
it may be called  
Beyond Housing 
when it was built it was called 
Coast and Country 
there is a bus garage and  
a veterans club 
The Royal British Legion 
and two parades of shops 
and they are near the Steel Works entrance on 
The Trunk Road 
and the parades of shops flank and open space called 
Ennis Square 
so now - if you/ve read this 
you know why it is called 
Ennis Square    
s level papers evolved out of  
Scholarship papers into special level papers 
There was hostility at Coatham to  
Ricker doing S levels 
not because he couldn't hack them 
but because he was seen as somebody 
not in need of a scholarship 
the problem was 
schlarships were intended for  
not to put too fine a point on it 
the illigitimate sons of the unbelievably clever 
not the excess offspring of the rich and powerful 
and so they were 
based on the same sylabus as A'levels 
but they were old style - pre only connect 
University Challenge - College Bowl - abstruse 
that did not please the parents of 
highly coached hard working idiots 
now the Salt of the Earth 
abstruse is from the Latin 
away from the common thrust 
s level papers evolved out of  
Scholarship papers into special level papers 
There was hostility at Coatham to  
Ricker doing S levels 
not because he couldn't hack them 
but because he was seen as somebody 
not in need of a scholarship 
 
4th January 2021  
we are gong to play a little festive game 
it's about imaginging the history of Redcar 
we start with the  
real person alert 
Sir Charles Turner 2nd Baronet of 
Kirkleatham Hall 
now demolished but if you go see the stables,,,, 
you can guess what the hall was like 
1773 to 1810 
elected MP for Kingstone upon Hull - 1796 
died aged 37 in 1810 
left his estate to his widow 
the daughter of Sir William Gleadowe-Newcomen  
She later married  
Henry Vansittart  
The High Sheriff of Yorkshire 
1820? 
on account of because 
over the past fifty years 
most of the farmland between the villages of the estate 
has been built on with semi and detatched housing 
ther is confusion about whether the likes of 
Warrenby, Dormanstown, Coatham, Kirkleatham 
are in Redcar of not 
chesow - choose for your self how you see it 
Sy Cuthbert's Church in Kirkleatham has attached 
The Turner Mausoleum 
it was erected in 1740 - the Mausoleum 
in 1854 Christ Church Coatham was built 
from the benefaction of 
Mrs. Teresa Newcomen 
Teresa Newcomen was born in London in 1813 
her parents were 
Henry Vansittart of Kirkleatham and  
Teresa Newcomen 
Teresa Vansittart married her cousin 
Arthur Newcomen 
in 1841 
her husband died in 1848 and she never re-married 
she died in the Community of the Holy Rood in 
North Ormesby 
which she had set up 
She built churches, hospital and convalescent homes 
She built Christ Church Coatham in 1854 
we would say 
around 20 years after the death of 
Augustus Pugin, architect 
if you know that empty space between 
Newcomen Terrace 
and where the old Cleveland Golf Club club house was 
the Coatham Enclosure... 
on that land, at one time 
an early verion of 
Sacred Heart School 
and a convalescent home she paid £ 4,500 to build #and run by 
the Sisters of the House of the Good Samaritan 
stood #the home until 1951 
the school for a little longer 
the replacement school was on 
Flemmings' Field 
opposite the present Sacred Heart on Mersey Road 
so she pid for the 
Cottage Hospital in North Ormesby 
where Ricker's dad died 
clearly, Teresa Newcomen was a 
High Church Anglican
it was called 
the Church in the Fields 
we are thinking here - no evidence 
we are thinging that 
early on Treesa Newcomen was told that 
she could not be interred in 
The Turner Mausaleum 
because she was not 
a man 
and she built a whole church of her own at Coatham 
to compensate 
we can say that when the Bishop saw it... 
he insisted that the paintings of the Saints 
in the niches in the wall  
behind the altar 
were  
painted out 
they are now and almost always have been 
palin white niches 
Ricker has been told that there is no record of his having had  
a doctor called Fallows 
Rev. Fallows was a vicar at Coatham 
there was a chap called Fallows who was 
a bio-chemistry grduate 
two local ladies paid for him to re-train as a doctor
He was Dr Fallows 
his consulting room was on Station Road 
between the old 
Gazette Office 
and the now Youth and Child Services building  
on the corner of 
Milbank Tce.(Coatham Road) and Station Road 
 
28th December 2020  
For those ex-pats who were at 
Coatham from 1963... 
or at Saltscar from 1973?... 
knocked down and replaced wth this 
  
Secondary Section 
  
Primary Section 
  
  
sometimes two words can seem linked 
when they are not 
agile having the power of quick movement 
Latin agilis from agere to do 
fragile easily broken frail 
Latin fragilis breakable 
simple viruses have little of no defence against 
having their structures disrupted  
  
We can say that our Ricker 
raised himself as an Anglican 
a little boy of 10 can fail to see the bigger picture 
a little boy of ten does not want some things
a little girl of 8 was very keen to be his girlfriend 
and Ricker didn't want a girlfriend 
and that little girl was 
Alison Backhouse 
and that family was quite a score to marry into... 
but Ricker went to a 
Church of England Primary school 
and Ricker and Alison went to 
confirmation classes together 
and that was after Ricker had left that school
and that school and church were 
Christ Church, Coatham 
and Ricker lost contact with Alison when he left Newcomen Primary 
and went to Coatham Boys' Grammar  
but, perversely one may say 
Ricker kept up his association with Christ Church, Coatham 
but perhaps the perversity was not with him because 
Coatham Grammar, so close to Christ Church, Coatham 
was affiliated to 
St. Peter's, Redcar 
and so Ricker served on the altar of 
Christ Church Coatham for 
The Reverand Allan Wordsworth 
and he came off the rota when he went off to Newcastle 
to med school 
however,  
something else happened at that time 
Rev Wordsworth retired 
and his successor  
styled himself 
Father Smith 
insisted on being addressed as 
Father 
not  
Vicar 
and that had a practical effect on Ricker 
he found himself serving in 
a cope 
not in the surplice and cassock he was accustomed to 
and so although he was in Redcar every weekend 
he stopped attending church 
the church was no longer the still point in a 
turbulent life that it had been. 
and that probably marked an important change in 
Redcar life 
Rev Wordsworth had three sons 
Ricker nerver met the eldest 
he was an Anglican priest withe the reputation of being a 
Trot 
a Left Wing Agitator 
the next son was Allan 
and David Wordsworth shared the service rota with Ricker  
the serving roles were split in an odd way 
Les Cornforth was Sacriston
Ricker hardly ever met him 
Ricker assisted Rev Wordsworth at 
Sung Eucharist 
either or both 8,00 am and 11,00 am 
he hardly ever attended 
Evensong, wher David Wordsworth assisted 
the duties of a server at Evensong 
consisted of  
extingushing the altar candles at the mid point when  
the proceedings switched from worship to 
a sort of 'social' 
vicar swtching from addressing God to addressing his flock 
with a sermon and public notices and such and a sing song 
Ricker did that so rarely that he was often 
no honestly once out of three occasions??? 
convinced he was going to do it at the wrong time 
in the mass, he had lots of jobs and 
he had a bell, not handbell shaped but like 
 a cheese dome held up by a central pillar around a foot across and 
a foot and a half high 
and when the celebrant said certain things Ricker would 
sound his bell with the sort of mallet that percusionists use on 
the big J Arthur Rank gong 
best seen bashing  
Tubular Bells 
by the likes of 
Mike Oldfield 
and there was somebody at the back of the church who would 
toll the church bell every time Ricker hit his bell 
so that the people who could not attend church would know that 
the host was being blessed 
you've got the wafer and the wine 
in the Anglican Church 
the wafer REPRESENTS the body of Christ 
the wine REPRESENTS the blood of Christ 
in the Roman Catholic Church 
the wafer is TRANSFORMED INTO the body of Christ 
the wine is TRANSFORMED INTO the body of Christ 
Methodists don't have wine 
some of them are Reccabites - total abstainers 
Ricker's Auntie Mabel was a Reccabite 
her sister, Eunice, drank beer  
back to the Wordsworths 
the middle son, Allan 
author if you Google him 
retired adult social worker if you knew him 
was in contrast to his elder brother 
The Tory Party Agent for the Redcar Constituency 
and you see this split in the Church 
rightists - just enough charity to keep the body and soul of the poor together 
leftists - the vulnerable and the centre of the universe 
  
Thereby hangs another tale 
Kirkleatham Hospital 
a proper hospital 
that is 
a miniature version of the place where 
The Chelsea Pensioners live 
a retirement home 
several bosses at the time 
including 
 Peter Southeran 
and Allan Wordsworth Junior 
sheltered housing 
for the elderly 
the respectable elderly 
not you may say a doss house for 
the indegent poor 
definitely NEVER a Workhouse 
Rev. Wordworth had a regular locum 
is there a character in  
The Importance of Being Ernest 
called  
Chasuble? 
when a celebrant wears a cope  
it's called an alb 
they are both white as in albino 
over the alb the celebrant wears 
a chasuble 
the fancy embroidered cape 
around his neck he wears a sort of scarf 
that is very long, stiff and about 4 inches wide 
like his assistant he wears  rope around his waist 
his or her 
and probably dangling from a wrist a sort of 
short version of the scarf 
how you lay out the vestments  
find them and return them 
there is a chest of huge shallow drawers 
the alb is probably in a cupboard hung up wardrobe style 
the chasuble is spread on the floor of a drawer 
the other three items are set out in a specific manner 
the scarf is formed into a letter H 
the kerchief is an I 
the rope is laid out as an S 
for Rev. Wordsworth 
IHS  
stood for 
Jesus Hominem Salvator 
for Father Eves 
IHS stood for 
In His Service 
 The Vatican decreed 
services should be spoken and sung in the local vernacular 
the Latin Mass was banned 
but it clearly was not an edict to take note of diversity 
The Latin Mass - we know we are swapping Anglican to Roman here 
The Latin Mass was a 
Lingua franka 
as in the Latin names of plant species 
the edict for local language use 
assumed that in any one community there would be 
a churchfull of people who spoke the same  
non-Lingua Franka - diversity based - language 
Only Irish in this town 
only Hispanics in this county 
it is not the way the world has gone 
and slowly 
English 
is replacing  
Latin 
as the Lingua Franka for much of the world 
would it have been fairer to leave Latin to its place? 
we now see  
public health messages in English 
causing at least as much trouble as 
medical terminology in Latin and Greek 
the down side, the deeper down side, is that 
New Speak English looses the precision of 
Latin, Greek and 'Classical' - non-American - English 
 
21st December 2020  
So far as we can see 
The Mo Mowlam Academy 
formerly 
Pathways 
will be able to re-open after the 2020 Christmas break 
in the new building on Corporation Road, Redcar 
moving from Grangetown 
we do not think that many of the present clients 
commute from Redcar to Grangetown - the one in Greater Eston 
There are presently 
64 children aged Primary and Secondary 
in fact the new building appears to cater for more 
 Primary - under 11 - pupils than Secondary 
some are being bussed from East Cleveland 
and they will probably welcome the change of ambience 
Mo Mowlam was once the MP for Redcar 
She died of a brain tumour 
she negotiated the  
Good Friday Agreement  
as Secretary of State for Northern Ireland 
natch 
Tory Bliar is taking all the credit 
The Mo Mowlam Academy caters for 
students aged 5 to 16 in Redcar and Cleveland 
it is non-residential 
the children have Social, Emotional, and Mental Health difficulties 
at one point the jargon was 
they exhibit unlooked for behaviours 
and since half of the are aged  
5 to 11 
this is 
toddler temper tantrums on steroids 
Originally, Pathways was based on Tennyson Avenue Grangetown 
we suspect that most of the clients will be sleeping in that area 
we make no judgement about whether the 'problems' 
that lead them to be  
permanently excluded from the main stream 
are intrinsict to the child or the home environment 
we interpret the function of the academy as more to 
keep the children out of care 
than to get them back into main stream education 
but 
it would not be unreasonable to assume that 
at least some of them are 
in care 
Pathways was established in the building of a 
redundant Primary School and  
shall we say 
half the Mo Mowlem pupls may not have 
matured sufficiently to 
graduate to main stream secondary 
the expansion of the roll - number of pupils 
from 60 to 100 
probably does not indicate increased demand 
more an opportunity with the new build to 
satisfy all known and predicted demand 
 
 
  
way out of date 
for instance, he's missed all the episodes of 
The Simpsons 
that feature  
Joe Biden 
or is it possible to be 
POTUS 
President Of The United States 
without first being a character in The Simpsons? 
 
we want to play a littel word game 
desperate 
disparate 
if you are the common hack 
would you spell that 
disperate and disparate? 
desperate - beyond hope, in dires straits 
or in Dire Straits - the band 
from 
Latin desperere to despair 
not to depair - separate 
there was a pair of shoes 
now neither is in a pair 
they have discovered that they are 
disperate, not identical twins but 
one left and one right 
are you all right? 
no she's half left 
Latin dis negative par , equal 
Depeche Mode 
80s band from Basildon 
so sweet.. 
Google meaning of 
depeche 
1 the dispatch of a message verb 
2 to dispatch, rid oneself of 
it's almost like the left handed person 
unconciously swapping knife and fork 
table setting knife on the right 
lefthander swaps knife to left hand without missing a beat 
depeche 
dispatch 
we can't be bothered to check whether the Google defintion of 
decontaminate is  
 dis contaminate 
do autocomplete keyboards 
autocorrect 
decontaminate to discontaminate? 
  
when a topic in science becomes 
main stream or 'popular' 
it gets its edges knocked off 
and the simplified version feeds back into the 
specialist areas 
in chemistry... 
in theory 
the pre-fix 
des 
means 
as a stand alone... 
DES means 
drug eluting stent 
des in chemistry means without or lacking 
and so the chemical term for  
a ribose - a sugar like sucrose and glucose fructose 
when a molecule is  
like ribose but with one OH group missing 
it is des oxy ribose 
ribose with an oxygen atom missing 
if it were ribose with an oxygen atom removed it would be 
dis oxyrobose 
des it was never there 
dis it's been removed 
RNA is robose nucleic acid 
DNA is desoxyrobose nucleic acid 
almost as soon as DNA became famous it was  
re-named deoxyribose nucleic acid 
what does deoxy mean? 
it doesn't mean anything except perhaps that  
some hack's short hand wasn't up to the job 
and the press conference occured before the 
invention of the photocopier 
why do we say this 
mainly because it 
gets on Ricker's tits 
but slightly because,BR>
you should beware taking 
'popular science' too literally 
to get to the point 
along the way 
organisms that got into the habit of storing their genetic material 
using a code based on a molecule that was in part constructed from 
a molecule that was like ribose but with one OH unit less 
found they zipped or kintted together more closely 
and were therefore more stable
like removing the flash from a casting to get a tighter fit??? 
all organisms use the cheaper easier to get hold of 
ribose version for day to day operations 
DNA is like  
acid free paper in a museum archive 
 
  
back in the 1970s 
Teesside Polytechnic 
ran courses in a  
computer programming language called 
COBOL 
if you were a COBOL programmer you were using 
working on 
a main frame computer 
you had a desk with a keyboard 
a dumb terminal 
a pencil 
and a pad of coding sheets 
you marked symbols on the coding sheets in pencil
so that you could rub them out to change them 
at the end of the day you handed in your coding sheets to 
another room 
where other people - mostly women 
called data entry clerks 
read you pencil jottings and  
we've missed a detail here 
a coding sheet was a grid set out as  
row upon row of boxes - usually in green ink 
you put up to one character in each box on the sheet 
 the data entry clerks typed your entries into a machine 
that produced 
one punched card 
to be a small image of each date sheet you had sent in 
then the cards wer put into a hopper and reaten by the main frame 
that was how you programmed the computer 
and you ran the programme on the main frame using the ketboard  
an ddumb terminal and the terminal displayed 
characters - letters,  numbers, symbols 
no pictures , no graphics 
and the run of your computer programme produced a  
print out on a teletype printer 
viruses are rather ancient 
they live in the COBOL age 
the genetic material of a virus is  
a stack of Jackard punched cards 
but the print out is 
several thousand actually we don't know how many 
lots and lots of 
stacks of punched cards each with a  
protein coat in stead of an elastic band 
holding it together 
for the purposes in hand we shall assume that 
we have dispensed with the programmer but 
instead of stacks of punch cards 
the main frame prints out huge quantities of 
data sheets 
we will say that each data sheet is sent to the  
data entry clerks 
and they ahev to 
manually type in the instructions to produce the punched cards 
if the programme is short and simple 
it won't have so much of the 
start bits, check bits, end bits 
editing safeguards 
the data entry clerks are not paid by the programme 
they are paid by the card 
so they know nothing about how all this works 
we are working here on the COBOL programming language as  
analogue or virus transmission 
it is said - by the people who do this for a living 
that  if the virus data message is short and simple 
the data entry clerks will make an error for every 
 million cards they transcribe 
and that will be the  
mutation rate of a simple virus 
what happens with the more complex viruses is 
they have  
editing software built in 
and only around one in 100  million  
attempts to infect a host cell 
successfully infects the host cell with 
a code different from the original code 
that is 
one in 100 million target cells
each patient will ingest of inhale  
many many virus particles 
 does that help at all in 
explaining 
why mutations take so long to take effect? 
not withstanding the fact that the errors will be  
completely random 
BECAUSE,br.
the data entry clerks  
haven't got the foggiest notion  
what a computer programme is 
let alone how to tweek it 
and  
and it is said that RNA is more vulnerable to mutation because  
it is a single strand 
that is not so 
RNA folds just as DNA folds 
the difference is 
DNA strands snap together lke the teeth of a zip 
no gap between the strands
two jumpers in a drawer 
close but not quite close enough to keep 
pesky enzymes that amy be out to destroy the code 
out 
it makes RNA viruses 
more prone to destruction 
than DNA viruses 
and at the margin 
failed destruction may amount to 
mutation 
 
 
  
empiric empirical 
Greek en in, peira trial 
empiric - based on the results of 
experiment 
observation or experience 
not 
from mathematical or scientific reasoning 
quackery 
here the thing 
a lot of American food and cookery shows 
natably 
The Barefoot Contessa 
make reference to an ingredient they call 
kosher salt 
kosher means proper in Hebrew 
so salt could be 'proper' 
but in normal Jewish usage kosher meaans something  
more specific 
the deal is to comply with
from the Old Testament books 
Leviticus and Deuteronemy 
there is stuff about 
no creepy crawlies 
animals have to 
chew the cud and have cloven hooves 
in essence it is mostly about  
what animals you can eat and how to prepare them 
and so 
in essence although there can be 
pure or proper salt 
kosher salt does not fit into the remit of 
animals you can eat 
what is referred to as kosher salt is actually 
koshering salt 
salt of a form suitable for rendering meat kosher 
and here the Jews meet the Jehova's Witnesses 
The purpose of koshering salt is to 
remove blood from the meat 
so that you do not eat any blood 
here's the clash between the 
empiric 
and the 
scientific 
salting meat helps it remain suitable to eat 
The various religious texts maintain that this is 
due to removing blood 
science say that this works by 
removing water 
when you have a plan or tradition that is 
impiric - empiric 
it works just in those circumstances 
say, to start one particualr car you need to 
pull the choke out just so far 
that may not be a good plan for a different car 
and is no based on a knowledge of how cars are started 
but on a ritual for starting that particular car 
or model of car 
 
  
Carol Klein 
is an English gardening expert 
who also works as a television presenter and newspaper columnist 
especially on the BBC's Gardeners' World 
as we recall up until about 15 years ago 2005 
she owned and ran a  
plant nursary 
and so her specialty is plant propagation 
this involves planting seeds 
but also 
as the term goes 
striking cuttings 
and she wth her practicl experience and  
her consulting a more academic expert has said 
pointed out 
one day a bunch of plant cells are happily functioning as 
the stem of a plant 
Carol comes along with a knife 
cuts those cells, and a bunch more, off their plant 
and sticks them into a tub of  
potting compost 
she may do just that or she may 
dip the cutting into a box of  
rooting compound 
along the way 
thoe cells react 
they react by giving up their life as a cell in a  
plant stem 
and transform themselves into 
root cells 
the cutting strikes and the stem becomes a plant 
this is dependent on 
gene expression 
it's like one of those domestic appliances with 
the variety of attachments 
one moment a drill, next moment a sander 
the essence being 
no change in the motor or battery 
and so 
this is a change in gene expression as a result of 
environmental change 
NOT a mutation in the genetics of the cell 
 
  
if your world view is founded on trips to theme parks 
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 
Douglas Adams 
may have more resonance with this question 
if you are very young 
you don't know how long the things around you  
have been where they are 
in a theme park 
or a computer game 
you come across a fallen tree in the forest 
to you it is a fallen tree in the forest 
you do not see it as an older person may see it,as 
a tree that  
either was growing on the land before the park developer 
bought the land 
or as 
a fibre glass model put there as a fallen tree 
by the construction crew 
we use this as an exrtension of the question 
if a tree falls in a forest 
and nobody is there to hear the sound 
was there any sound? 
of the crash 
and so we have people who think that 
Slarty Bartfarst 
designed the fossils and installed them on Earth 
Earth, the Theme Park 
in 4,444 BC or BCE 
that's either 
Before Christ 
or 
Before the Common Era 
same date different religion 
and so we have introduced the concept of 
The Fossil Record 
In evolutionary biology 
punctuated equilibrium  
is a concept 
relating to the fossil record 
in simple terms 
we see layer upon layer in the  
strata of rocks  
where the fossils are all the same 
this stability is termed 
stasis 
and a lot of people are aware of the concept of 
a meteor storm putting so much strees of the 
dianasaurs 
that all but the birds were wiped out 
does the Smeg Head spend a lot of time in stasis in Red Dwarf? 
punctuated equilibrium came in 1972 
and we have a 'debate' 
about what evolutionary change is due to 
Gradualism 
and what to 
Catastrophism 
in the current context 
the CoViD context 
we have a load of people saying 
the virus will gradually change, mutate  
into something different 
we are not entirely clear  
as to whether  
SARS 2019 is  
a virus that was a parasite on animals and  
jumped to humans 
or 
in the punctuated equlibrium camp 
did some human SARS virus particles accidentally 
infect an animal - such as mink 
for a virus adapted to parasitising humans 
for those individual particles - not the ones left behind 
that would be a catastrophe 
if they then are sorted out by the catastrophe 
only the birds - in dinasaur terms - surviving the event 
then  
if they find themselves re-introduced to a human host 
they won't be the community they used to be 
they will be the birds and they will find they 
humans riddled with mammals 
 
14th December 2020  
  
  
update 
 
  
Crohn's disease 
irritable bowel syndrome 
around 80 per cent of Crohn's disease occurs 
either wholely 35 per cent 
or partly - the other part being just below - 45 per cent 
in the ileum 
the illium s the part of the gut between the stomach and the  
small intestine 
the small intectine is very long  
Ricker has seen one stretched out - about 30 feet 
it is called small because it is much narrower than 
the large intestine or colon 
and so 
Crohn's disease and  
colltis inflamation of the colon 
occur around 35 feet apart  
as the shit flies 
we will therefore consider Crohn's disease 
we have said that 
 Peyer's Patches 
are located in the wal of the ilium 
we have said they contain M cells 
and these are responsible for  
pumping antibodies from the blood into 
the gut lumen - the food containing space in the tube 
we have not said that  
Crohn's disease consists of or is characterised by 
1 inflammation  - not flammation as in flammable liquids??? 
of the gut from that point down 
2 hypertrophy - over growth - of  
 immune tissues in the wall of the ilium 
this suggests that in people with Crohn's 
either the immune tissue does not contain enough  
M cells 
or 
they are there but they don't work properly 
there is some, just some, evidence that ingesting toxins 
especially by smoking - active or passive 
may cause the damage to these M cells 
or the patient may have an inherited gene defect 
clearly 
pathologists should be counting M cells in the 
ilium of Crohn's victims 
 
 7th December 2020  
7th December 2020  
There's been a bombing raid on Redcar 
the most serious we have ever seen 
  
  
  
  
  
  
a yarn bombing raid 
and Redcar and Cleveland Council have a 
Christmas gift for property owners in 
Corportion Road - south side 
This storage tank for the  
sprinkler system for 
Mo Mowlam repositary for peculiar people 
breaches the property line 
thus setting a precident 
so if you own a property in Corporation Road 
south side 
you can build a nanny great porch 
on the front of your house 
but only if you are  
an MP or former MP 
  
 
  
There now follows an explanation of the 
problems associated with the 
storage and transportation of vaccines 
say you were organising a picnic 
say you catered for twenty people 
say ten turned up 
footie on the telly... 
say you brought plentiful supplies of 
Walls Viennetta ice cream 
walls not sausages 
dog based advet reference 
Walls have this gigantic factory where they 
pump ice cream and gas - like a soda syphon 
into boxes 
and then 
drench the boxes in 
liquid nitrogen 
instant freeze 
tiny ice crystals 
no damage to the ice cream 
take the surplus home and put it in the freezer 
you will come back to a 
solid block of ice lying in the botton of the box 
vaccine destroyed 
regarding transport capacity 
957 doses on a tean tray 
how many tea trays could you get into the back of a car? 
1,000 times 1,000 times 60 
one dose for everybody - you need two 
 50,000 tea trays 
how many do you think would fit into the average 
armoured car 
 
 
 
  
Here we have a tale of 
The Left Behind North 
Redcar High Street has two town clocks 
one at either end of the pedestrianised section 
the newer, smaller one was set up by the local 
Rotary Club 
and  
probably using imported American castings  
a company called Hawkins Clocks were the contractors 
at the time Hawkins clocks were newly established and based in 
Market Deeping in Lincolnshire 
They are now based near Southampton 
and the clock although looking good 
painting and imported castings 
much of the time it is an example of the 
clock that is right twice  day 
aside from all the TVs and 'phones and computers in  
Ricker's house 
at least two are radio controlled 
obviously the proper, original 
Redcar Town Clock 
has a pendulum and such and probably it is a major question 
whether it should be modernised 
but the new one... 
1989 the company was founded so that is about right for the Redcar 2 clock 
that could stand some updating 
we are farily sure a different company has some sort of contract
money for the High Street? 
fix the clock 
and better still get a new one 
another art installation  
that indicates the state of the tide and 
whether it is coming in or going out 
 
 
  
when we get the technocal report on the  
December 2020 sewage works tragedy near Bristol, England 
we may see the term  
aerial decomposition 
reports indicate that a gang of 4 or 5 workers  
were  welding or grinding on a silo 
that probably contained methane 
and had not properly or at all 
purged it with nitrogen 
and an explosion blew the roof off 
this could have caused the workers to 
fall to their deaths 
a large amount of methan would then have  
escaped as a cloud and  
after mixing with oxygen in the air 
the cloud would have 
detonated 
causing a shock wave 
it may have been the shock wave that caused the fatalities  
rather than a fall from height 
shades of the South Bank coke works tragedy.... 
no need to train these lads 
just hope for the best 
 
 
  
we were watching BBC Look North Newcastle 
and they played out 
when the boat comes in and they lyric included 
thou shall have a salmon 
now 
a couple of ponts here 
we think the original was a  
bloater 
and the alternative is 
herring 
it's all about 
the silver darlings 
the massive East Coast 
herring fishery 
and one verse substitutes  
mackerel 
at that time... 
salmon was a  
sport fish 
caught in rivers and streams 
not caught by trawlers in the North Sea 
interesting note about fish eating 
people were happy to eat herring and the derived kippers 
and cod and ling 
they were a lot less keen on mackerel 
because mackerel were known as  
bottm feeders  
living on sewage 
a bloater was the Yarmouth version of a kipper 
The British have a thing about eating fish 
they pretty much insist on only eating fish if it is 
pelagic 
they don't like shellfish 
they will eat plaice 
pelagic fish live  
neither close to the bottom 
nor close to the shore 
in other words after a lot of trouble with 
contaminated oysters and mussels 
they wanted their fish caught far far away from  
sewage outfalls 
and to theis day most fish caught in  
British coastal waters are sold to  
mainland Europe 
and the British eat 
fish caught off Iceland 
the opposite of pelagic is demersal 
 
  
  
They don't build them like they used to 
The Regent is no match for the demo team 
but  
they need some mansized tools to shift it 
 
Ricker wants to be a bit self indulgent here 
perhaps you don't think you know what it's like being Ricker 
you probably do 
Ricker in a university is like 
a teenager being forced to attend a birthday party 
for a cousin's toddler 
and being told 
be nice 
let the little ones win the party games 
This a web site not a Twitter account and so 
we have to make a judgment call about whether 
an issue is important enough to change it 
 
This is be kinfd the retail staff week 
not Go on be a bit more stropy with the customers week 
 
Re Tuesday 1 Dec am Redcar WHSmith 
do you have to pass a special  
are you stroppy enough test to get a job with 
WH Smith or Post Office Counters? 
This is NOTHING to do with  
delivery staff, posties 
ergarding POC - post office counters 
The Post Office has to try to get its head around the fact that 
it is no longer a letters business 
it is a parcels business 
creating a queue down the High Street by 
interrogating every 'customer' 
as to whether there is 
contraband  
in their parcel  
what would that be? 
apparently anything 
nail varnish 
alcohol 
YOU DON'T WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT 
YOU ARE NOT BORDER SEVURITY AGENTS 
warning people 
we may open your parcel and if it contains  
contraband as about etc 
we may destroy it without notice 
great get out for lost parcels? 
 
regarding WH SMith 
you are responisible for helping and guiding  
the public in their efforts to maintain  
social distancing 
Ricker stands in the queue 
the doors open 
he steps  
in front of him ther are a line of  
around a dozen vacant 
stand here and wait spots 
woman stacking shelves says 
I didn't say you could come in  
get back in the queue 
no not at the door 
out on the street 
eventually the bloke who should have been managing the door arrives 
and says  
not my responsibility if pushing you out causes you to break 
social distancing with the next person in the queue 
THE WHOLE THING IS EVERYBODY'S RESPONSIBILITY 
we are going to tell one of our stories 
to illustrate a point 
many many years ago 
Lewis Jordan 
was a school teacher in the Redcar area 
he was married to  
Lois Jordan  
and they had two children, a boy and a girl 
for the purposes of this story we have to say we have 
no evidence of any link between this family and 
Eddie Jordan 
the F1 motor racing Jack-in-a-Box 
Mark Jordan's sister gave the 
or a second 
Best Man's Speech 
at her brother's wedding 
unusual 
Lewis went from Redcar to Scunthorpe 
to advance his career 
and then came back to be  
head teacher at Rosecroft Secondary 
in the teeth of the baby boom around 1975 
the council built a new school in Skelton 
called 
De Bruce 
so East Cleveland had several secondary schools 
broadly, excluding Guisborough 
now parents only have a choice etween a new academy 
and having their kids bussed to 
Sacred Heart in Redcar 
so Rosecroft which wasn't  
Brotton warsett 
was closed after Lewis Jordan retired 
this is the broad brush version 
the point we are getting to is that  
as Lois Jordan became 
old and infirm 
she had difficulty sitting down on the toilet and  
getting up again 
as so a device was fitted to her toilet 
we have no idea how commonplace these are 
it was a toilet seat that sat on legs 
around 40 cm or 8 inches above where the normal seat would be 
and so 
without constantly fitteng and removing the device 
you would need a very 
long handled loo brush to keep all thing spic and span 
and that is the effect of 
The Halo 
on casualty recovery in motor racing 
 
30th November 2020  
It is very interesting that 
Billy Monger 
was not comentating on yesterday's 
Formula 1 Grand Prix of motor racing 
we re told that a driver and half his car  
went through Armco 
we have seen some curtailed images 
so we don't know what happened 
we are kinda sitting here and saying 
is it a total waste of time asking 
How in God's name did the dratted 
Halo 
do for Grosjean 
what nothing did for Billy Monger 
preserve his 
LEGS 
Grosjean was saved by the safety cell 
he was not  
touched  
by the impact 
and the parts of the safety cell below the windscreen 
dashboard, whatever 
punched a hole in the Armco 
otherwise 
the lad would now be about three feet shorter 
he got out because 
the steering wheel disintegrated 
it fell apart and did not embed itself in his face 
Here's a code 
what does it mean? 
1N 1O 1L 1M  
2X 2G 2F 2K 2J 3X 
3G 3F 3K 3J 
4X 4C 4B 4A 
5X 5G 5F 5J 5L 
L6R L6A L6S 
6A U6A 6S U6S 
 
we are not quite sure 
the last line mean 
six art, upper six art, six science, upper six science 
the next line up means 
lower six remove, lower six art, lower six science 
the next line up means 
in reverse order 
fifth Latin, three streams not doing Latin 
the clas who failed the 11plus but passed the 12 plus 
got too big for their boots at the County Modern 
These are the forms at Coatham Grammar in the 
academic year 1969 - 70 
three or four years earlier they would have been 
1A 1B 1C 
2A 2B 2C 2X 
3L 3A 3B 3X 
4L 4A 4B 4X 
5L 5A 5B 5X 
a managed transition to the end of 
streaming in secondary schools 
the numbers would now, perhaps, be 
10 up to 17 
who knows? 
anybody with a close association with schools 
in other words we have moved from disguising 
streaming by ability 
to disguising 
age 
what age is a year eleven pupil? 
under the age of consent and 
that's all you need to know 
apparently 
if they are a year eleven pupil they are probably 16 
and that would for some purposes be 
adult 
perish the thought 
but some may think they are only eleven 
year eleven pupil does such and such 
is intended to sound like 
eleven year old does such and such 
it is a part of the defence mechanism of adults 
who find themselves 
small and less well educated than the next generation 
most people these days can't actually get into 
classic cars of the 1960s 
have you got another roller skate for my other foot?  
some pupils return to their old school to teach 
but a lot seek out a school where they expect to feel 
superior 
there are about 6 million residents of 
London 
almost all of them are 
complete morons 
that is not the problem 
the problem is that their knowledge of their neighbours 
and their belief that 
everybody in London is better than everybody else 
leads them to conclude that 
everybody living outside the M25  
London's orbital motorway 
is a knickle dragging neanderthal 
and thay move to their schools to  
attempt to prove it 
Londoners don't have a high regard for other Londoners 
they just believe they are the best of a  
bad bunch 
and seek to naild down and wall out the provincials and 
strengthen London stock by 
importing 
wiley oriental gentlemen 
chuck out the chintz 
chuck out the occidental 
bring in the oriental 
as in 
The Orient Express 
 Ricker's teachers always sought to convince his parents thay he was 
an idiot 
he has always had a home on or near the 
Rivers Estate 
and every day he walked to and from school past a road sign 
so he concluded that  
7 was spelt SEVERN 
in later times - parents' evening 
all TGP the O'level physics teacher could say was 
look he's spelt melting as mealting 
clearly a moron 
here's crux of that 
both Ricker's parents left school at 14 
so one could say that his teachers were trying to 
communicate with his parents on 
their level 
the level of living in Redcar 
not the level of being managing director of a 
stock exchange listed company 
and a former  
NAAFI manager 
TGP once asked Ricker 
how did you get into this school/ 
is your uncle one of the teachers or something 
Seth is my sister's father-in-law 
not said 
and that's why I'm here and not at  
Archbishop Holgate's in York as the council wanted 
or St. Peter's York where his brothers went 
There was a librarian poet in Hull who had parents off  
Philip Larkin 
 
Ricker had at one time 
three nephews and two nieces 
one of the nieces was killed 
apparently quite incidentlly 
by a nutter on the day he was released from the funny farm 
her car just got in his way 
she or her husband stopped at traffic lights and  
the utter decided not to 
he, in the larger car survived 
a couple of parents died in a ball of flame 
that would be 
Annelise Storrar in Reading 
beside that point 
he had a younger and elder 
niece 
but 
one of his nephews was a thw son of a brother  
the other two were sons of his sister 
so 
the middle nephew is his sister's elder son 
and the other one is 
Ricker's eldest nephew but  
the elder of his brother's two children 
younger elder 
younger middle eldest 
younger second third eldest 
all to do with BBC news readers 
moonlighting on the  
English Language Service 
in breaks from the day job at 
BBC Hindi or BBC Arabic 
 
speaking of Ricker's nephews 
one is a graduate 
his father was a graduate 
the other two are not graduates 
their father Bristol, and one of their grandfathers Leeds 
are graduates 
but 
no Brownie Points for teachers getting the children of graduates 
into university 
although one was at Surrey but got thrown out 
this being because ??? 
mission priority of UK Universities is 
provide sheltered employment for vulnerable people 
as lecturers 
now with all teaching being  
on line 
perhaps young people who 
know their arse from their elbow will 
get a look in 
if they are muted on Zoom and  
don't scare the horses 
   
 
  
Our Ricker does not want to appear  
self richeous 
or even self seeking but he was under pressure  
towands the end of his first year ay medical school 
he was travelling home on a Wednesday lunchtime 
and travelling back to uni on a Thursday morning 
so that he could keep an eye on his demented parents 
he was quite clear that it was right and proper that 
his girlfriend 
Gwynneth Dakers 
should not help him with their care  
but should follow her dream as she went off to 
Harwell to be an engineering apprentice 
the university put pressure on 
they rejected his application to 
intercollate  
a science degree into his medical studies 
and regarded it as the hight of insolence that he suggest that 
his father was senile 
we did not have 
dementia in our vocabulary although there was a hint when 
Uncle Will Gilinder 
arrived from Canada 
on the premiss that  
having developed Alzheimers 
he was having a last trip around old haunts 
and so 
Gwyneth didn't becoem a dentisy's wife 
but she did become a nuclear scientist 
was that galant of our Ricker 
and  
when the wife of Ricker's youngest nephew was assigned 
under her medical physics degree at Surrey 
to do a project under Gwenneth supervisions 
she cried off  
citing illness 
and so 
whatever happened to Rcker 
t was not exactly 
Sliding Doors 
movie reference 
plenty of people had opportunities to 
put Ricker back on track 
  
23rd November 2020  
it was the Bliar government that set off the latest round of 
university expansion 
some think it was his wife Cherry Booth 
who pushed for it to 
make sure their were places for her kids.... 
and here is the division between two factions in  
UK higher education 
one lot is focussed on 
make as many people as possible GRADUATES 
before the second we will add the variant on the first 
people who see or saw  
the expansion of university education as an extension of 
ROSLA 
raising of the school leaving age 
a way to tackle  
youth unemployment  
without creating jobs 
did some of those people think 
if all these girlies go to uni 
they'll have kids of their own before they graduate 
and thus become  
economically inactive and 
never join the unemployed? 
the other group is  still represented by Oxford University 
the only seat of power learning in the UK 
we would cqll it the 
Jungle Book principle 
from the song from the animation version 
I wanna be a man, man cub 
clue me what to do 
I've reached the top and had to stop  
and that's what's bothering me 
show me the secret of man's red fire 
the idea here is 
take your randomly selected representatives of 
the Great Unwashed 
and send them somewhere nice for 
sections of three or four years 
and they will  
using their inate guile and intelligence 
discover the secrets of 
how rich people come to be rich 
no secret 
Oxford undergrads are rich because 
their daddies are rich 
and they 
HAVE PEOPLE 
to make money 
FOR them 
in a sense we are seeing that this experiment in 
testing the theory that 
poor people are poor because they are poor 
is faltering 
in a sense the theory is about 
playing both ends against the middle 
the theory being that  
the middle classes generate the wealth 
the rich parasitise that because they 
own the means of production 
and the poor do not profit from anything because 
education and skills don't run in their family 
and if we gave them free education and training 
from tutors outside their 
family and friends network 
they could all lift themselves into the middle class 
and so the idea that - rich or not - if you could 
capture the people with the smarts - like our Ricker 
and set them to work 
like some Russian Tsar locking up a wizard 
until he invents a spendid version of 
ceramics or glass 
then the skills gap would end and 
everybody would live happily ever after 
the trouble now is that we are seeing the concept of 
expanded knowledge and skills crumble 
with the advance of concepts such as 
no platforming 
we are moving towards a concept of 
sacred cows 
in the Asian sub continent 
somewhere cattle are unmolested 
roam everywhere and do what they like 
and in the UK these days 
the authorities are giving up on the idea of 
people from the lower orders being 
reformable, educable, trainable 
and just let them roam and put up with the cost of 
clearing up after them 
and a few deaths from  
drug dealing and vandalism 
are a price worht paying to avoid the accusation that 
you are upsetting the underprivilaged 
we are going to tell a story here about a dentist 
without his permission 
In Redcar there used to be a dental prctice called 
Dixon and Power 
at some point Mr Power went into semi retirement 
offering a  
dentures at home service 
going to the homes of aged and infirm people to take impressions 
and have false teeth made up 
his partner 
Herbert Robson Dixon 
moved the practice from rooms above  
Goodswens is it ? 
the butchers opposite where B and M moved from 
to a house in the town that he converted into a dental practice 
it's quite a big house and because it originally had  
pink carpets 
Ricker calls it the pink palace 
two main floors plus attick and basement 
double fronted 
now Herbie is not a  
natural born dentist 
when he left school he went 
thinking of the local petrochemical industry 
to Newcastle Polytechnic and got himself a 
First Class degree in 
chemical engineering 
and then he thought 
maybe dentistry, and retrained 
with all apologies to former staff of 
Dixon and Power... 
Herbie went to the trouble of setting up the pink palace 
so that 
the dentist(s) and the other staff could have 
separate staff room facilities 
a female dentist may have been able to  
put up with the constant chatter about 
boyfriends and babies 
but 
here's the contrast 
such things may drive men up the wall but 
they are not permitted to complain 
if you don't like the heat 
build yourself your own kitchen 
but women 
they can register any little thing as 
something that has 
upset them 
men certainly wouldn't be allowed to say 
shut up and drink yer coffee 
if you re dental nurse you will pick up a thng or two about dentistry 
nurses married to dentists have got into big trouble in the past for 
treating their husbands' patients 
in a sense 
if we had a system that 
entirely divorced examnation and certification from 
training 
that would cut the finaces from under the feet of universities 
but 
taking Amy the dental nurse 
left dental nursing to 
do a degree at Teesside University 
as preparation for becoming a 
paramedic 
maybe paramedics are paid more than dental nurses but 
there is something rather random about 
what jobs need the aproval of a university 
and which you can do if you pass the exams 
was Amy doing the reverse of what Herbie did 
she saw helself as  
queen of an ambulance 
rather than a scribe and fetcher in the dentists 
do you really think that Amy needed a degree to 
take charge of medical emergencies 
but couldn't have a dental degree because 
Teesside University is true to it's traditions 
and unlike The University of Sunderland 
don't want none of them clever people around here? 
Teessde - the place where 
cops are cock of the walk 
and 
teaching assistants are queen of the middin 
compost heap 
how many  'deprived people' are deprived because 
they are 
ignorant fond 
aware that with knowledge and skills comes 
responsibility 
or are they just in need of being bunged even more 
cash and food 
? 
we're gonna do an experiment 
we are going to enter 
Super Mac 
into a Google search 
remember we are doing this in the UK 
result 
Super mac may refer to  
Harold Macmillan 
1894 - 1986 
Prime Minister of UK 1957 - 1963 
Malcolm Supermac McDonald 
born 1950 
then we go to Supermac n Irish fast food chain 
Macdonald is Newcastle's 5th highest goal scorer of all time 
did he actually work for comedian Tommy Trinder when he was at Fulham? 
scored 6 goals for England between 1972 and 1975 
 
there was this other guy called  
Malcolm MacDonald 
OM PC - Order of Merit Privy Councilor 
17 Aug 1901 to 11 January 1981 
Govenor General of Kenya 
succeeded bu 
Jomo Kenyatta as President 12 Dec 1964 
UK Minister of Health 13 May 1940 to 8 Feb 1941 
Political party 
Labour 
National Labour 
aside from all that WORK 
Malcolm Macdonald had two claims to fame 
he was Ramsay Macdonald's son - only son 3 sisters 
and he  
signed our Ricker's degree certificate 
we just remembered 
Castle is the Durham University name for 
University College, Durham 
Ramsay MacDonald was the first member of the 
UK Labour Party to 
become Prime Minister of the UK 
and James Ramsay MacDonald 
was born 
James MacDonald Ramsay 
now this name thing 
we can't find a reference but as we recall.... 
one young future politician was out in the fields with his 
single mother 
one day 
and she turns to him and says 
yon's yer featha 
that man over there is your father 
it may have been Ramsay Mac 
he never saw the man again 
and  
and our Ricker's grandad 
William Robson 
was a prominent 
Liberal Politician 
on Teesside 
and these people have long memories 
  
Sir Derman Christopherson was vice chancellor 
now 
if our Ricker had graduated 5 years later 
he would have got an autograph of 
Dame Margot Fonteyn 
First non-royal female chancellor of a British University 
more recent cert have carried the names 
Sir Peter Ustinov 
Bill Bryson 
Sir Thomas Allen - operatic baritone 
still in post 
3rd January 2019 
Cuddly Ken 
Ken Bowler - Ricker's colleg or moral tutor, died 
You can search 
town versus gown 
and you get reference to 
Oxford, Cambridge, Durham and St Andrews 
in one sense Oxford in the 1970s is the classic 
divided between 
dreaming spires 
and 
donkey jacketed thugs 
nailing the infamous British Leyland cars together 
and Durham is 
effete students 
versus 
salt of the earth coal miners 
and the area around Durham University was very involved in 
the closing of the coal mines around the time our Ricker was there 
That wasn't the real cause of Ricker's problems 
up until 1963 what is now 
The University of Newcastle upon Tyne 
was 
King's College, Durham 
when it was hived off as a stand alone university 
Durham university had colleges 
and lecture theatres in Durham and 
a rather splendid 
geography department 
this means that science departments such as zoology and botany 
were built up in the ten years before Ricker arrived 
from Newcastle, where he had studied at the medical school 
he wasn't exactly 
poached 
but 
1 a lot of the teaching staff were hired as a job lot from 
Hull University 
and the department was housed in the former  
colliery offices at the pit where the campus was built 
and so 
Christopher Higgins is a bit younger than Ricker 
but Higgins was a Royal College of Music dropout - violin 
and Ricker was a Newcastle medical school dropout 
and they did boyany and zoology foundation in the same year 
 it was a kind of four option joint honours deal 
for honours you had to choose two from 
no THEY chose for you 
two from 
animal physiology 
animal ecology 
plant physiology 
plant ecology 
they put Ricker into the zoology department 
and Higgins into the botany department 
people cold have done 
zoology, botany, ecology, or physiology 
so Higgins did botany and later a thesis on 
the chemistry of barley seed germination 
and so to our Ricker 
he had a tutor Dave Hyde 
who had done a masters in neurophysiology at 
Manchester 
and under his supervision Ricker did an honours project 
measuring the electrical activity of the  
buccal ganglion of the 
water snail 
limnea stagnalis 
dissect your pond snail 
remove it's mouth 
remove the seven cell ganglion that controls the mouth 
suck up the cut ends of the cut nerves into saline filled 
microfine glass tubes - that you have to make for yourself 
and record the impulses by 
running photographic film past the screen of  
an oscilloscope that has had its  
x drive switched off 
the spot move up and down and the film moves left to right 
Ricker is very very very old 
problem 
Dave already had a research student part way through his 
Ph.D. even though Dave didn't have a Ph.D. of his own 
so 
apply to places such as Bristol 
dillema Durham wants to buid up a research reputation 
they don't want Ricker poached 
plot, ploy, give Ricker a rubbish degree and the offer of 
a job for life as a University funded - not reseach council funded 
reseach assistant for moral tutor Ken Bowler 
Ricker understood 
but his demented dad didn't 
sold the house from under him for failing 
so 
Ken had been house mates at Hull Uni with 
Roy Hattersley, and an embryologist called Jack Cohen 
and a school teacher called Mike Jackson 
head of science at 
Gillbrook school in Eston on Teesside 
so Ricker's punishment for not 
taking the job for life at Durham university  
was 
a job for life as science department technician at Gillbrook 
he stayed for 5 years 
elderly resident will remember 
Lurch 
Adams Family reference 
when Christopher Higgins was a fellow student of Ricker 
he was a complete dork 
he would enter a seminar room clutching a 
violin case 
as one would a teddy bear 
he did botany not zoology and was next heard of 
on TV with a hand painted sign on a broom cupboad door 
in the University of Dundee 
the sign sai something about  
BSE 
bovine spongieform encephalopathy 
Ricker had - to cut a long story short - just 
proclaimed that BSE was related to 
grass staggers 
an illness due to trying to get too much milk production out of 
too few cows 
hell at the time an opened  bottle of milk stank out the 'fridge 
with acetone 
keytosis 
and then 
when the day came 
Christopher Higgins vice chancellor Durham University 
2014 'took early retirement' 
replaced by his deputy at short notice 
we mean the professor of geography stood in for him for a year 
whilst the university got around to appointing 
the present vice-chancellor - Stuart Corbridge 
to replace Higgins 
got him from the LSE  
London School of Economics not stock exchange 
we can say CH has five daughters and two ex wives 
he was summerily sacked at a 'board meeting' at the university 
we suspect that he had a dementia related melt down at that meeting 
but that he had been extracted from that Dundee broom cupboard 
to front the refutation of what our Ricker had said about BSE 
speaking truth onto power is  
just a tad risky 
 
  
Peyer's patches are small masses of lymphatic tissue 
found throughout the ileum region of the small intestine 
aggregated lymphoid nodules 
they include macrophages, dendritic cells 
T cells and B cells 
and  
M cells 
M cells feed antigens to the macrophages and dendritic cells 
 
adenoids are part of the immune system 
which helps fight infection and protects the body from 
bacteria and viruses 
we have established that 
the younger the child the less they are affected by 
CoViD 
children have - pound for pound - a lot more 
adenoid tissue  than adults 
in a now rare bacterial infection called 
diphtheria 
children's adenoids reacted and swelled so much that 
many became mouth breathers 
some died from obstruction of the airway 
cutting out the adenoids when they have swolen to become 
adenoids tonsils , same thing?  
similar in location and function 
taking out tonsila nd adenoid tissue is common 
takes half an hour 
one hour recovery 
a project for the number crunchers 
what proportion of people who have real problems with CoViD  
had previously 
 had their tonsils out? 
 
President Obama had a beef about this 
surgeons - not necessarily highly skilled surgeons 
tend to do twice as many tonsilectomies if they are on 
payment per service 
or pay per operation 
than if they are salaried 
America has had a bg problem with CoViD 
if you have a country or community where  
tonsils get taken out at high frequency 
do the people involved not have the ability to 
pump antibodies out of the bloodstream 
and into the nasal cavity? 
cut the infections that lead to the sore throats 
don't cut out the valient tonsils trying to protect you 
tonsilectomies are the surgical equivalent of 
taking the battery out of the smoke alarm? 
  
while we have your attention 
we are not going to check 
Ricker is feeling grumpy 
it's too windy for work 
he is not going to check, just guess 
we said some time ago that in one disease 
was it cholera? 
it is usless having antibodies in the blood stream 
they have to be mixed in with the gut contents 
because the disease kills by making the gut wall 
dysfunctional 
runs and dehydration and that 
what we can see as a POSSIBLE scenario is a vaccine that 
keeps the innoculated healthy but 
leaves the virus untouched in the  
nose and throat 
and if it is given preferentially to  
healthcare workers 
they will be able to work 
but they will become 
superspreaders 
carriers 
it's a worry 
and so... 
it would be less or a worry if you took swabs from nose and throat 
as well as blood samples 
when testing for  
efficacy 
probably they re doing that 
those result would be crucial 
antibody not antigen tests of 
nose and throat samples of people carrying antibodies in their blood 
 
 
  
The only time our Ricker ever walked down the aisle 
with a partner was 
not walking down the aisle it was 
walking up the aisle 
when Ricker graduated his dad didn't attend 
his dad sat in the car nearby 
Ricker's mam and her step mother were his guests 
and after the graduation ceremony 
a procession across  
Palace Green 
because the graduation had been to the 
Great Hall of Castle 
Durham Castle 
Castle is a Durham University college 
Not Ricker's 
a procession from the Great Hall 
across Palace Green 
into Durham Cathedral 
for a blessing 
and he walked up the aisle alonside 
J J K Wright 
and she was not too chuffed either 
a couple of loosers 
Ricker with his third 
and Jo with her lower second 
never to meet again 
and Tiny Rowland had been there right then 
apparently alone.. 
to watch 
Jane Rowland  
is there a w in that? 
get her degree and nat it was an 
upper second 
and Richardson 
who was at Castle 
got the first 
but that was only consolation for his brothers 
graduating from Oxford or Cambridge 
It was a great day 
was Ricker's dad not in the hall because 
he was ashamed of the lad who had failed? 
we don't think we will ever know 
what Ricker knows is what his tutor said 
that would be Dave Hyde 
not Ken Bowler 
Dave said 
you've seen the list? 
well all this 
the degree classifications and the ceremony 
it's for the parents 
not for the students 
end quote 
there are difficulties 
we now live in a very different world 
we have no statistics for this but 
numbers for 
how many parents of graduates 
are graduates themselves? 
40 or 50 years ago they used to say 
there are more scientists alive today - then 
than have ever died 
and perhaps it is still true 
a university such as Durham awards degrees by class 
according to its own needs 
to in a way compensate the students for whom their  
student days will be the high light of their lives 
and then - for example 
ten to twenty years ago 
supermarket Morrisons had a graduate entry 
management trainee scheme 
and just this blanket entry criterion 
upper second class honours or above 
if top universities are classifying students according to a sort of 
there will be no loosers 
system where smart graduates are expected to 
make a life on merit without a flash degree as a crutch 
and employers are saying 
millions of graduates 
we won't consider 
the half that 'failed' 
and if we make more and more avenues in life 
for instance optometry 
graduate entry only 
two things 
a lot of talent goes to waste 
a lot of people considered in need of 
a false sense of self worth 
PM Tweedledee for instance 
get itno jobs they can't do 
when Ricker was at school there were two lads called 
Smith in his class 
both represent important object lessons 
D W Smith was a boarder 
the other Smith was a day boy as was Ricker 
D W was sometimes known as DW 
but his fellow boarders knew him as 
Bol 
and Bol stood for 
barrel on legs 
and so that was, by today's standards 
bullying 
fat shaming 
the other Smith was a copper's kid 
one day in a physics lab this Smith tried 
very forcible to stuff some of his 
prescription pills into Ricker's mouth 
his libs could not resist the force and he had to 
clench his teeth to keep the pills out 
underlying that was an unspoken message 
if you weren't in my class 
I wouldn't need these tranquilisers to cope with the stress of 
having a smart arse like you in my life 
we have caught a hint about the  
Grenfell debacle 
the consequences of powerful people making snap decisions 
Thresa May as Prime Minister was aske what was the 
naughtiest thing she had ever done and she said 
trampling a corn field 
well another thing she did was to commission a report  
based on stunts designed to convince peope that the  
Grenfell Tower fire was lethal because of the choice of 
aluminium cladding 
it is now emerging that it was the foam insulation behind the cladding 
that melted the plastic window frames and let the heat jump from 
inside one flat to the inside of one above 
when the fire fighters had been assured that 
a fire would always be confined to 
whaever single flat it started in 
over confident reliance on the idea that 
all will be well 
and the constant constant drive that  
we must  
Buy American 
the two priorities 
don't blame the brave fire fighters 
don't get into a law suit with the Americans 
blame it all on some random British engineer 
what is important here is 
when all these tower blocks have 
their prefectly servicable cladding replaced 
will the combustible foam insulation behind it 
be left in place? 
 
  
We've had a few stories about consumer goods 
tumble driers, cars, that sort of thing that 
burst into flames in normal use 
we think that is a problem 
we get stories - especially about the cars 
relating to a few cars being involved 
maybe a dozen 
out of thousands manufctured and sold 
this sort of thing leads to a 
re-call 
for modifications 
we 
are being told that two of the vaccines in development 
have a 90 to 95 effectiveness rating 
what does that mean? 
it means that large large numbers 
tens and hundreds of thousands of people are given the vaccine 
and 
ninty per cent of them 
don't get CoViD within a couple of weeks of getting the jab 
these people are just given the jab 
nothing else except instructions to report any problems 
they are not NOT deliberately infected with CoViD 
and so  
between five and ten per cent of people given the vaccine 
devlop CoViD withing two or three weeks... 
and the question is 
how many of their friends and family  
who were not vaccinated 
develop CoViD 
in the same time slot? 
in other words 
the real test of the vaccines is 
and we are sure that some trials are structured this way 
you get a load of volunteers together and 
you give  
half of them a 'flu jab 
and half of them a 'flu jab AND a CoViD jab 
and you see how many get CoViD 
does the CoViD jab alter the proportion getting CoViD? 
those data may exist but they are not what has been published 
this means we have data on whether the vaccines are 
SAFE 
amongst other things, in not causing CoViD 
but not on how effective they are 
this is perhaps an example of 
mission creep 
what the world wants is a vaccine that protects us from the virus 
simple as 
what the drug companies have c oncentrated on is producing a vaccine that 
induces the production of antibodies 
and so we suppose that these companies have tested their 
volunteers to see whether they have produced antibodies 
and between 90 and 95 per cent of them have 
that's  
proof of concept 
proof that for most people the method produces antibodies 
that is in a way  
academic 
since we are told that we still have the prospect of 
Jeremy Corbin as Prime Minster 
we should deploy an allotment analogy 
just because you don't have ny pests in your front garden 
or amongst your house plants 
does not mean to say that your allotment isn't a 
breeding ground 
deluging the world withall sorts of pests 
and in this analogy your nose and mouth are your allotment 
 
  
beauty is in the eye of the beholder 
one day Ricker was asked to lend a coleague 
his trolly jack so that the coleague could jack up 
another coleague's mini 
the jack went straight through the car's rotten sub frame 
the intermediary - not the car owner - decided that 
Ricker should loan one of his cars - his father's perhaps 
to the car owner because of the damage the tool had done 
that intermediary was 
An Elder of the Jehova's Witnesses 
a lot of people like that live in a  
parallel universe 
it can be quite a shock to realise that you live just down the road from 
communities where it is fervantly believed that 
taking a photo of a child 
puts they in mortal danger 
but sharing a home with a child and 
doing a load of drugs 
is super fine, perfectly OK 
and so to the main stream media 
such a shame that girl died because somebody bought her drugs 
and at the same time 
that bloke aske a child for a photo 
sex offenders register for life, indeterminate sentence, 
chemical castration 
fling the lot at him 
people in the media can't claim to be 
not all there 
as people on sink estates can 
what gives? 
 
16th November 2020  
we are now seeing a contrast being drawn between 
lockdown versus vaccine 
let's make that more visible 
let's imagine a  
plague of mice in Australia 
two strategies 
issue every household with 
either a cat 
or mouse traps 
alternatively 
hire a load more opertives for the 
local authority 
environmental health  
pest control teams 
vaccination is like the mouse traps and cats 
and lockdown is like the professionals 
so long as the mice stay outside people's homes 
they will be safe if there is no 
professional pest control 
the mice don't thrive in the fields 
where the birds would get them 
they don't thrive in the homes where the cats and  
the mouse traps would get them 
they thrive in the barns 
and for our virus 
the nose is their barn 
sometimes we drop in an analogy without 
exploring it properly 
we talked about SARS and 'flu and such being 
 a wart in the nose 
HPV - human papiloma virus is responsible for 
warts as such 
the skin can also be affected by 
perhaps we should have said 
corona viruses are the nasal equivalent of 
molluscum contagiosum 
never heard of it? 
neither have we but it is a better analogy because 
it normally clears up without treatment 
and 
can spread to other parts of the body 
and that is what corona virus is doing 
lots of people have 
unrecognised infection and rcover without knowing they were ill 
say you have mice under the patio decking 
or under the garden shed 
so ling as you never see them and they leave no  
obvious traces in you home 
you may never know you have them 
and so the virus can live above, outside the influence of 
your immune system and so 
two things 
if you have a cat that you never let out 
the mice will be safe from the cat 
or if you have a dog instead of a cat 
a dog wants rabbits, not mice 
the immune system is we would say 
M!5 not MI6 
it is the Home Office not the FCO 
Foreign and Commonwealth Office 
the immune system does not partol the outer surfaces of your body 
and these include lots of little nooks and crannies 
crevices 
the body 
for external security purposes 
1 secretes lactic acid and similar chemicals 
and  
2 hires in help from friendly forces 
bacteria and the like that live on the 
functional outside - including crevices 
of your body and are your 
bouncers 
door staff 
f the door staff encounter a novel intruder 
they may let it in 
evolving a fresh door staff workforce may be 
just as important a response to a novel infection as 
a modification to the immune system 
regarding HPV 
say you are a farmer and you have and need as car 
and your car fails 
being a farmer you do twoo unusual things 
you park the old car in a barn and you buy a new car 
and every time the fuel tank runs empty you do the same 
a virus - such as the human papiloma virus - messe up a skin cell 
the body produced a new clean skin cell and expects the contaminated one to be  
rubbed off 
in the crevices the oily and acidic secretion combine with the door staff to 
create a substance that is a bit like soft cheese and smelly 
there are cultures - Jewish most famously - where there is such as horror of 
people playing with their crevices 
that  
male and female circumcision is used in an attempt to 
abolish or smooth out bodily crevices 
for the most part 
apart from Ancient Egyptians dealing with preparing the dead for burial 
most cultures leave the convolutions up the nose 
well alone 
and so 
one way and another parasites do best if they settle in the nose 
but 
clearly species other than humans don't take a knife to their young 
and so we have non-surgical approaches to tennants in our faces 
serous - tears 
and 
mucus -snot 
secretions including chemicals such as lysozyme 
so we can see a parasitic virus 
thrown out by the bouners 
without the inside security ever knowing there was  
trouble at the door 
and they get thrown out 
not arrested or eliminated and  
become somebody else's problem 
the stuff that builds up if you don't 
play with yourself if called 
smegma 
hence  
smeg head 
Red Dwarf sci-fi commedy reference 
person with smegma for brains 
and consternation that anybody would launch and develop a 
range of domestic appliances called 
smeg 
 
  
there are three steelworks towns in England 
or england and Wales 
for the moment we will park Scunthorpe 
Redcar is shut down 
Port Talbot is presently capable of producing 
5 million tonnes of steel from two blast fuurnaces 
if Redcar were running it would produce 
3 million tonnes from one blast furnace 
in both towns all other blast furnaces have been demolished 
1 and 2 and 3 in Port Talbot 
and  
all - probably 2 - at South Bank in Redcar 
gone 
here is the proposal 
here are the options 
1 keep Redcar cold or demolish it 
2 keep Port Talbot 4 and 5 running on coal and coke 
3 scrap Port Talbot 4 and 5 and 
4 produce 5 million tonnes of steel in Port Talbot using 
electric arc furnaces to melt scrap steel 
5 uses the existing kit in Redcar to 
produce 3 million tonnes a year of steel from iron ore using 
de-watered sewage sludge in place of coal and coke 
and produce 2 million tonnes a year of steel from scrap 
by electric arc re-melt at either Redcar or Port Talbot 
Tata own Port Talbot 
they want 500 million GB pounds from the UK government to 
keep things as they are 
politicians always seeking re-election want 
big headlines: I brought or saved thousands of jobs in this town 
you can't produce thousands of jobs for 
bakers or painters and decorators at a stroke, in one town 
and so politicians did two things to Port Talbot 
they gave it a filthy stinking steel works 
and they made it next to impossible to recruite  
the likes of bakers and decorators in the area 
this is not driven by economics 
but by politics 
by quick fix politicians 
wanting to be loved 
at this point in time 
with so much scrap being available and being 
exported from the UK 
the UK economics says 
3 million tonnes from iron ore and 3 million tonnes from scrap 
all without use of fossil fuels is the  
prime objective 
if the UK government decides not to stump up  
500 million to turn  
Port Talbet into a 
 Welsh open Air Museum 
a Welsh mega Beamish 
then putting the scrap melter into Port Talbot 
and making the 'from iron ore' steel in Redcar is 
OK by us 
and isn't it strange... 
The Tories closed Redcar and 
Redcar elected it's first Tory MP since  
Proudfoot 
when he was  
believe it or not 
MP for Redcar and Whitby 
shows how much Redcar has grown 
 
to return to Scunthorpe... 
Scunthorpe has had 4 blst furnaces 
two of them are operational 
one of those after major repairs to 
accident damage 
each produces around  
one and half - 1.5 - million tonnes a year 
so Redcar's one blast is the size of the 
entire Scunthorpe works 
and Redcar has scope for two more similar sized furnaces 
and so 
all three towns were making 11 million tonnes a year 
and the plan was for 
Redcar to make around 10 million tonnes a year 
but the politicians had other ideas  
people have votes 
politicians want votes 
the people of The Tees Valley 
choice 
the choice never given to them before 
Labour - continue to be called 
Smoggies 
Tory - loose a couple of thousand jobs 
at the first presentation of this choice?? 
voted Tory isn't it? 
 
  
Our Ricker has had a thought 
a thought about 
'false positives' in 
prostate cancer 
there is this test 
the PSA test 
prostate specific antigen test 
first 
why would you think you had prostate cancer? 
this train of thought relies on the fact that we don't 
have a thoroughly reliable 
circuit diagram for the human nervous system 
the main reason for thinking you may have  
prostate cancer is a complex of 
frequent urination - not to be confused with 
symptoms of type 1 diabetes 
where people drink and urinate a lot  
increased urination at night 
having difficulty starting or maintaining a  
steady flow of urine 
what we are talking about in false diagnoses of 
prostate cancer is 
often feeling the urge to urinate 
and not being able to 
that is the symptom we are considering here  
when our Ricker was having his  
anatomy viva at med school 
the one question where he guessed the answer 
and probably got it wrong was 
what connects the kidney with the bladder 
ureter or urethra? 
ureters are muscle lined ducts that 
propel urine from the kidney to the bladder 
the urethra is 
the other hole up yer chuff 
the one that leads the the bladder not the womb 
anyway  
the renal pelvis is 
the funnel shaped, dilated aprt of the ureter 
in the kidney 
here's the Ricker concept 
suppose that you think the urge to urinate comes from 
having a distended bladder 
suppose that in fact  
either or both  
a distended bladder 
and 
a distended renal pelvis 
trigger the urge to urinate 
say in the night 
your lunch or evening meal is 
making its way along your gut and 
there is gas or just a lot of food 
and anyway 
somehow 
the gut contents squash the ureter 
probably on the right hand side... 
and you or your doctor think 
your discomfort comes from 
your prostate squashing your urethra 
men and women both have urethras but 
male plumbing is more complex 
if you get  
how shall we say 
occasional and transient  
could it be prostate cancer symptoms... 
a blockage in you gut squashing your kidney tubes 
will much more easily 
come and go 
than the swelling of  
a cancerous prostate gland 
 
summary 
you want to wee because there is 
back pressure in your kidney 
prbably the right one - disposition of  
accending colon... 
lower back pain on that side 
you can't wee because your bladder is empty 
left kidney not working too hard in 
the middle of the night 
early morning sample usually 
darker in colour, more concentrated, less volume 
all down to  
tube walls getting weak 
not standing up too well to  
pressure from your expanding gut 
 
  
at this point we want to pick up on the  
A 
in PSA 
this is not 
prostate specific antibody 
it is  
prostate specific antigen 
what this means is that 
at any time, any man, however ill or healthy WILL have 
bits of their prostate gland 
breaking off and circulating in their blood 
to take an analogy that may or may not be current 
the water companies say 
only poo and pee into the water in the loo 
back in the day when our Ricker knew about these things 
in public toilets - girls' toilets in school 
there was a thing like a hand dryer in the toilets that 
was a mini incinerator for  
used sanitary products 
you may say 
going back to a face from the past 
Germain Greer's first and most vivid complaint about 
being a girl 
was being forced to go into the garage 
to wash out her 
jam rags 
away from sight of brothers and father 
jam rags being re-usable sanitary wear 
to expand into the real of  
PSA 
incinerating noxious material at home 
kind of died out with the end of open coal and wood fires 
Ricker's dad used to spit  
phlegm - coughed up material 
into the open fire 
tissues of the body 
get the cleaners in - regularly 
those t lymphocytes go around doing 
clean up 
they are like the open fire or the  
toilet furnace 
destroying material at source 
but the dust bin men also call 
the blood and lymph systems and  
cytoplasmic flow in nerves 
carry off detritus for  
destruction off site 
and that process is the basis of  
cancer and infection spread 
in a sense because 
the nasties are not  
sealed up properly for transit 
Ricker's long dead niece 
Annelise 
'got wrong' off the binnies - refuse collectors 
for putting used nappies in the bin 
not properly wrapped up 
in vast populations we may ask 
when is 
organic fertilizer 
better classified as 
clinical waste? 
is all animal excrement to be 
classified as 
vetenary clinical waste? 
when people and animals are not ill 
their waste is not a threat 
but people and animals can be 
should be 
at all times assumed to be 
potentially carrying pathogens 
and so we drill little babies 
not to 
play with their food 
and not to touch anything that 
could be poo 
at the same time 
in certain communities  
people hand mould 
animal excrement into  
fuel blocks and set them around the dwelling 
to dry 
and they live to considerable ages 
 
 
  
this is where we have a beef with the 
hand washing 
we segregate menstrual waste 
out of  
an abundance of caution 
it has been assumed down the ages that 
menstrual blood is 
way different from blood from a 
cut finger or a head wound 
and may be highly dangerous 
in some communities  
women who are 'on' are forced to  
live in a shed outside the home for the time of
one of the things we are not seeing these days are 
those blokes in little vans 
parked outside office blocks and pubs 
swapping  
full little grey bins 
for empty ones 
because 
everybody is working from home and the pubs are shut 
back in the day and the factory where Ricker worked was called 
Bateman's Laboratories 
everybody knew which girls were 'on' 
because one all other days they would come to work in 
slacks or trousers 
but during their period they would turn up 
in a skirt 
for cleaner, easier access to the cursed matter 
it is entirely in the same class of 
where's the beef? 
where's the evidence that menstrual blood needs  
special segregation? 
where's the evidence that 
as one minister said 
soap and water is the only thing we know  
that will kill the virus 
wrong on both counts 
it doesn't kill the virus 
and 
sanitiser - alcohol 
does 
 
  
  
  
  
  
  
now here's a thing 
we can see in these pictures that  
the surface water drain is being divered to 
make way for the new Regent cinema 
what we can't see is that most of the effort in this 
skightly over running project 
is just less than a metre deeper 
and around a metre nearer the building 
is is a diversion of the 
foul water connection to the 
long sea outlet 
that can usually be seen as it crosses the rocks 
the scars in red cliff scars - Redcar 
scar - bare and broken place on  
side of a mountain 
precipitous bank or cliff 
also scaur 
Old Norse - Norwegian - sker 
the local cliffs 
Hunt Cliff Saltburn 
are of red boulder clay 
red clay with large pebbles in it 
and the Esplanade was a boulder clay cliff over 
grey shale  
the cliffs are red boulder clay 
and  
the rocks - scars -are  
grey shale 
presumably the stuff 
 North Sea oil and gas have been taken from 
the main spread of rocks off the Regent site is 
for navigation purposes called 
West Scar 
further out, separated by a gap called 
Luff Way 
the rocks are called 
Salt Scar 
and Coatham Grammar's building was renamed 
Saltcsar Secondary 
when it was used as a comp 
These are Coatham Rocks 
Redcar Rocks include 
East Scar 
and 
Stokesley Scar 
between East and West is 
The Laid 
 
  
we do not wish to dent the enthusiasm of the 
government minister around the world who wish to 
line the pockets of friends and family with 
shares in big pharma 
but 
there may not be a huge variety of strains of 
SARS 
Corona viruses 
there are a significant number of 
'flu viruses 
hence the annual jab 
but if shareholders in big pharma are 
waiting for the next CoViD 
they may have a long wait if they are 
depending on 
mutations 
 
  
Whatever may be said about the scale of 
public school tuition fees... 
football - not the American version 
is a vary cheap sport to provide 
and so with teaching 
math or maths, mathematics is very cheap to teach 
and great young minds are moulded by maths 
and deprived of science 
due to cost 
and so we will today try to present  biological principle in  
mathematical terms 
 
mutation + selection = adaptation 
 
mutation + selection pressure = adaptation 
 
no species that we could describe as a pathogen 
or microbe 
sets out to adapt to new conditions 
utterly devoted readers of theses sites may have read that 
in higher beings; mammals - including humans, and other 
sex based animals 
can have a process in place where 
increased  
stress hormones 
cause increased RATES of mutation 
but no organism has a CRISPR style gene editing capacity 
 there is no mechanism in nature to 
suss out what modification would be useful 
and then build t 
  we are not going to explain CRISPR 
but we will suggest how such a system could work 
there re two sorts of problem with genes 
genes that and missing  
genes that shouldn't be there but are 
in theory 
a virus sort of a thing could enter a cell and 
latch onto a sequence of codons - code units, letters 
that are of interest 
1 material we want to remove 
2 material we want to replace with a better version 
it could find that match 
and remove the one section and if appropriate 
insert the other 
there are therefore two essential stages in this therapy 
1 build or find the code you want 
2 remove the fault and if appropriate insert the replacement 
no living thing comes 
find or make the new, do the swap 
light years close to being able to do that 
except humans in the lab and hospital 
 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
9th November 2020  
we think we should comment about the 
presidency of the United States 
we take a lesson from this that we doubt 
the chattering classes will 
they upset two groups within the 
groundling layer of society 
they said 
how appalling 
Trump said 
women like you to feel them up 
this upset women who like a bloke to feel them up 
and it upset men who do it in all fondness 
it set up a feeling that  
Trump was a bulwark against all the 
 people in power 
who will - in their eyes 
select at random a commonplace action in daily life 
and turn it into a heinous crime 
they make the suggestion about 
one Enemy of The People 
but millions get caught up in the cross fire 
and 
the lack of  
Statutes of Limitation 
gee thanks Mrs Ming 
it is now a commonplace to apply 
current fashions in polite behaviour 
to ancient actions 
and  
so many people living for so long 
without statutes of limitation 
eventually 
everybody over 60 
should just check into jail on their birthday 
save the courts the trouble 
 
2nd November 2020  
  
  
  
  
Redcar now has a 
Remembrance muriel 
Coronation Street reference 
Hilda Ogden had a murial - mural 
On her living room wall 
regarding Redcar as such 
there is a consultation right now 
that is for a couple of days 
that said it is probably not 
a fishing exercise but a legal requirement 
for some fairly solid plan 
four buildings seem to be in the frame 
according to the literature 
Tuned-In 
the part of Uptons department store that isn't 
now a part of >BR>
The Livery 
The former Marks and Spencer 
and perhaps 
the map is very fuzzy 
Redcar Job Centre 
we will eventually put up the photos 
Tuned-In was built as a  
homework venue for kids who couldn't get 
peace and quite at home in the eveneings 
now the plan has it and  
either the Job Centre 
or Morrisons car park 
linked under  
reinvigourating Tuned-In! 
in essence 
not a refuge from family life but 
bring them along too 
The Uptons site - presently between the rather under threat TSB 
and the Livery 
just next to Wilkinsons 
That is under  
Library+ community and cultural hub 
 Marks and Spencer 
and possibly Woolworths too 
Now empty and Goodwins respectively 
is under  
New Public Space 
a new events space linking Regent Walk with  
The Esplanade 
These properties are not signed as 
For Sale or To Let 
so perhaps the council has bought them 
and the budget for re-development is 
up to 25 million quid 
  
TunedIn 
  
Uptons. New Library site? 
  
Redcar Job Centre 
  
Redcar Marks and Spencer 
  
Redcar British Steel station is just beyond this bridge 
  
and the TransPennine Express passe through and beside the cleared site 
 
 
  
we catch odd little snippets of information 
we recently heard the BBC's Cambridge virologist say 
something along the lines that 
there are 30,000 
thirty thousand 
codons or letters in the genetic code or sequence of 
the 2019 corona virus 
and he also said that in the 9 months or so that 
samples from patients have been sequenced - routinely 
two or three of those letters have changed 
referring back to our quotation of the 
Hardy-Weinstein principle 
there has not been much genetic change 
and so we conclude that there has not been much 
selective pressure 
on the virus 
this is really really really important 
it has to be understood that if people are 
developing immunity to a virus 
that will represent a selective pressure on the virus 
in precise terms 
we get a different 'flu vaccine each year 
because 
immunty to one strain 
is of little or no help with another 
our Naked Scientist - podcast name reference 
says no significant change over at least 9 months 
this means 
no selective pressure 
as a back calculation 
and therefore 
any advance in dealing with the virus has not been 
 with the development of immunity 
which would have lead to disproportionate  
human attacks on the predominant strain 
and the flourishing of a significant variant 
SARS 2020 would have taken over from SARS 2019 
since we are still dealing with SARS 2019 
ALL OF THE PROGRESS WE HAVE MADE HAS BEEN WITH 
SUPPRESSION OF TRANSMISSIONS 
no herd immunity whatsoever 
 
 
  
we find ourselves in need of an extra term 
we are needing to know what to call those people who are 
not quite in the chattering classes 
more the chuntering classes 
the curtain twitchers 
we would say at this time that the most prominent of these is 
ex-Prime Minister Theresa May 
but some of the most trenchant are Labour 
the reason these people 
shall we settle for the chuntering classes 
are determined to channel help 
away from children towards mothers is that 
they are in the phrase  
happy to let the kids 
hang as they grow 
rather like 
education being akin to those clear glass tubes 
people used to use to make sure their 
cucumbers grew straight 
they want 
all these people 
judges, lawyers, politicians 
who shovel money at women  
are doing so to distract them from 
sex work 
these people want to see their streets 
clear of human detritus 
but the sight of a 
male beggar 
gives them a sense of superiority 
the sight of an importuning female 
makes them feel  
insecure 
and women who have not had children will we suppose 
always be wondering 
what is the difference between me and a 
Stepford Wife 
Stepford Wives is a movie about a suburb in which 
the men come home to 
a lawn mower and a robot wife 
young uns should 
gen up on 
Za Za Gabor 
Quote 
husbands are like fires 
she means 
the old log burner type 
they go out when 
unattended 
 
there is this theory that 
for most of the month 
women would prefer to  
house share with a gay guy 
because he would be good around the house 
good fo more than taking out the trash 
but for one week of so she craves more excitement 
there have been tales of women with young children 
dying young from the likes of cancer and 
wanting in on the choice of their 
kids' new step mom 
there has been less publicity for women who know they will be 
too tired for sex after the baby arrives  
who 
want to be the person who hires their partner's 
temporary entertainer 
we think that women who oppose sex working fall into two camps 
the ones with no excuse for  
not paying attention to their partners 
and the ones with  
cultural hang ups 
we have no data on 
how many school teachers are moms and 
how many are not 
what we do know is that in history 
both nurses and school marms were  
nuns 
and by definition not 
actively part of a family home 
and this is to be taken into account when 
consulting 
'the professionals' over what and when  
children should be taught 
we suspect that as  
mums are becoming more present in the workforce 
the workforce is seeing children 
less as an also-people subspecies 
and more as 
adults in development 
it is quite startling to the unfamiliar 
just how  
opinionated 
a two year old can be 
especially a two year old female 
and so the old Jesuit saying 
give me the child up to the age of four 
and I will give you the adult 
has a firm basis in truth 
and so an education system 
and a set of internet regulations that 
insist that 
children will never grow up 
sets up a whole raft of problems 
they concept of 
upward mobility 
is promoted in a context of
if ignorance is bliss 
'tis folly to be wise 
and 
oh, don't bother your pretty little head 
with things like that 
time was - not so long ago 
a child could be 
taken into care if their school found out 
they knew about sex 
now the parents can blame the internet 
we like the story about little children and 
filling in the blanks 
a child in need of an expletive 
bursts out with 
corsets  
because it was the most unmentionable word 
they had so far come across 
most people would say 
knickers in that situation but if the parents had 
always referred to panties and transmitted no 
sense of shame in doing so 
knickers would not  
furnish the service of an expletive for that child 
 
26th October 2020  
as we go through history we may assume that  
there are two classes of myth or untruth 
earlier there my be more of a tendency towards 
honest mistake 
when the reverse is adopted without evidence 
this may be referred to as 
poltical correctness 
consider the link between the two words 
metropolis 
and the word  
politic 
first the link between 
politic 
and 
politics 
politic is an adjective 
politics is a noun 
and politics is a term for the management of 
mass culture 
the management of life in big cities 
a metropolis is a big city and it presents 
management challenges not found in 
rural settings 
until now 
what with , radio and railways and t'internet 
we are all either or both 
literal and virtual city dwellers 
our Ricker was at medical school a long time ago 
back in those days ordinary folk knew about 
Stanley knives - utility knives 
but they had not come across the 
multi-tool of the multi-cutter  
a circular saw rotates and throws  
bitten off bits in one direction 
a multi-cutter vibrates 
it swings like a demented pendulum 
it does not cast swarf 
back in the days when Ricker was at medical school 
the only form of multi-cutter he knew about was called 
a bone saw 
 most people have spent very little time watching 
BBC or Discovery Channel shows about 
anthropology 
we are not going to venture into the world of 
the species that evolved into humans 
Ricker is still alive - perhaps only just 
but when he was young 
present day humans were divided into three groups 
Caucasian, Mongoloid, Negroid 
Mongoloid includes 
Chinese, Japanese, Korean American Indians 
The thing is ,,, 
there are now five races 
African, Asian, Native American, Oceanian 
or perhaps there are 4 races 
Caucasian, Mngoloid, Negroid Australoid 
or perhaps there are 7 races 
Polarian, Hyperborean, Lemurian, Atlantean, Aryan 
and a couple more without fixed names 
back in the days 
and not as a racist slur 
students such as Ricker at medical school would be told 
you can separate the breast bone - sternum 
of a Caucasian  patient from their ribs 
with a Stanley knife 
but you will need a bone saw to do the same thing to a 
Negroid patient 
just supposing that this is true 
the likes of heart surgery will be  
way less difficult and traumatic for the 
Caucasian patient - the European 
than for the African patient 
if you tell doctors this and it is true 
then they may not refer African patients for 
treatments they would recommend for white people 
but if it is not true 
less people who would tolerate such surgery well 
will be treated 
bone density is a very important clinical factor 
and if skin colour leads to wrong assumptions 
this is negative 
but if skin colour is a  
vital marker 
failed operations can be avoided 
there are times when what you need is 
what is true 
not 
what is politic 
 
  
We've come across this rather strange 
BBC news story about 
Darlington Railway Station 
there are 4 plus 4a platforms at Darlington 
platform 1 and 4 are 'outer' and on the  
East coast main line 
nestled between them are two 
terminus platform 2 and 3 
which are the terminus for 
 Saltburn to Darlington services 
we are in a strange transitional phase right now 
the thing about platforms 2 and 3 is 
They are not electrified 
they served DMU - diesel multiple unit - services 
between Darlington and Saltburn 
calling at Thornby for Stockton 
Middlesbrough and Redcar 
two things have happened 
Darlinton to Saltburn services have been 
largely replaced by 
Bishop Auckland to Saltburn services 
meaning few trains terminate in Darlington 
except in emergencies 
platform 4a is for such emergencies 
mainly when Trasnpennine Express trains have to hang fire in 
Darlington on their way from Newcastle to Manchester 
the second shift in need is that 
Bishop Auckland to Saltburn trains are planned to be 
hydrogen powered 
and so electrification of platforms 2 and 3 is  
not needed 
The issue here is that - electrified or not 
Darlington has an up and a down 
goods loop 
so that goods trains do not have to pass through 
the train shed 
and do not need to have the platforms cleared 
so that they can get through 
The headline 
Darlington to lose status through loss of platforms 
we assume  
derives from a plan to allow SOME  
East Coast Main Line services to 
use the goods loop is they are not stopping in Darlington 
we should point out that IF the direct trains form 
Redcar to London 
emerge 
they will run 
Redcar, Middlesbrough, Thornaby, Eaglescliff, Yarm 
Thirsk Northallerton 
not via Darlington 
  
to clarify - once again 
the East Coast Main Line  
is 4 track up to  
Northallerton 
at Northallerton it splits into two two track lines 
one goes to Darlington and Newcastle and Scotland 
the other two tracks go to 
Teesside and Wearside 
The direct trains from  
Sunderland to London 
neither call at nor visit Darlington 
the direct trains from  
Redcar to Manchester 
neither call at nor visit Darlington 
BR>
  
We thought we would mark 
Black History Month 
with a reference to  
Cary grant and Myrna Loy 
The movie 
Mr Blandings Builds his Dream House 
neither of them played 
Gussie 
she was played by 
Louise Beavers 
You can cut the story many ways but 
one version is 
New York advertising agent wants to move  
from cramped flat in New York 
to 
vast wooden hut in Connecticut 
amongst other trials... 
paying for this extravaganza 
relies on him - Grant, Mr Blandings 
keeping his job by coming up with a slogan for 
Wham, a sort of tinned ham 
perhaps not unlike Spam 
The family getting under each other's feet so much 
the maid - Gussie - is privy to her employer's stress 
What are we having for tea today Gussie? 
more of that ham? 
Oh Misser,  
Don't say ham say wham 
and an advertising legend is born 
and the house is paid for 
some would say 
this is 
cultural misappropriation, or theft 
in some eyes 
Gussie should have kicked the Blandings 
out of their flat 
Moved into Mr Blandings office  
and the shed in Connecticut 
because 
she inspired Mr Blandings slogan 
that is such a small step from saying 
white folks can't wear 
corn rows 
a particular African version of plaits 
 
  
I asked my congressman  
and he said: quote 
I'd love to help you son 
but you're too young to vote 
there ain't no cure for the 
summer-time blues 
 
parents get 
monay 
because they have votes 
and so do nutters 
we are have made a few comments about the 
Regent Cinema project 
we do hope the town won't be extracting the remnants of 
a rather large number of oversized 
sandbags from the beach over coming years 
we are contrasting the efforts of the builders of 
The Beacon 
and the new Regent cinema 
we should say 
the concrete wall sections were not  
cast in situe 
they were cast in Belfast 
A V Dawson 
brought them from the docks one at a time and 
the two machines that set them 
and the bits the current contractors are busily drilling through 
well each had two caterpillar tracks 
each of the 4 tracks was brought by its own 
STGO category 3 wagon 
  
Wash your hands before touching food 
eat 'on the go foods' whilst holding them 
in the wrapper or a napkin 
stifle coughs and sneezes 
we note that the contractors have 
given up trying to find 
asbestos 
in the Regent Cinema 
whether they ever did find any 
we don't know 
we may look out some pics of the 
mansize machines 
previous contractos used to 
build  
The Beacon 
and the rest of the sea wall 
bu for now we will content ourselves with 
watching  
The Sea versus Tonka Toys 
 
sometimes I feel like 
a motherless child 
 
we are not seeking to deal with 
precise legal definitions here 
in the UK if you 
can't be looked after by your 
natural parents 
there are three options 
and you may be normal 
or unusual in yourself 
the three basic options are 
orphanage, children' home 
foster parents 
adoption 
essentially 
if a child is adopted by new parents 
they are treated as though they were  
the adoptive parents' natural children  
which transfers a major finacial burden 
from the local authority to the new parents 
this means that adoption is only really an option for 
normal - not special needs - children 
although this may not work out if the problems emerge 
some time after adoption 
children loosing their parents through accidents 
are the ones most likely to be adopted 
there cn be a lot of money available to 
temporary parents who 
foster 
children 
fostering placements can be quite short 
foster parents are generally not 
natural relatives of the children 
sometimes when family members take over responsibility for 
a child 
they can get quite cross over not qualifying for 
fostering fees 
here is the crux of the free school meals controversy 
the terminology is unhelpful 
the legislation talks of 
two sorts of money 
child support 
and 
child benefit 
child support is a 
civil fine payable to a mother by the child's father as 
ongoing punishment for 
not marrying her 
or for having divorced her 
it is payable to the mother not the child 
child benefit is a reward for a mother for 
having got pregnant when having 
no visible means of support 
no job, no husband 
or such at inadequate rates 
it is payable to the mother, not the child 
in a very real sense 
free school meals 
are the only benefit 
bestowed DIRECTLY on the child 
and it is not surprising that some activists see it as 
a vital protection for children who 
may be being exploited by their parents or guardians  
  
  
  
  
We guess this is for  
the editor of the EG 
rather than the mayor of Middlesbrough 
you gotta demolish that SHED 
if you wanna build that extension 
 
We could get all worked up about how 
in the past 
dementia wasn't recognised and families suffered losses 
due to  
The head of household 
or 
head of the family 
having legal rights that trumped all 
no matter how disadvantageous they were 
Ricker's dad died a long time ago 
These pictures are of the wallet he left behind 
and so we should say 
these people are 
Ricker, his mam and her mam 
Ricker's dad's parents died before he was born 
this gran died on 
Christmas Eve 
when he was 4 
his dad died when he Ricker was around 28 
and his mam died when he was around 33 
  
  
  
  
As Ricker approaches his 
bury by date 
The bank have a handy blank next to 
date of death 
on his file... 
he is appalled by how much tat of his own he is surrounded by 
he spends his declining days 
trying to put right the damage 
his mam and his grandad did to his gran's house 
knowing that when he goes 
there will be a week when the garden is  
full of rubbish skips 
no matter what he does 
the house will be sold as a 
fixer up er 
and gutted 
but it keeps him interested in life 
Ricker wants it noted that his in the picture gran was 
born a Wright 
Wright's Biscuits 
of Tyne Dock, South Shields 
were one of the constituent companies that came together 
to form 
United Biscuits 
but Eva Wright 
married beneath her 
hitched her wagon to an ambitious retailer who 
only ever had the one shop - in Tyne Dock 
a haberdasher 
a credit haberdasher 
and on a night  
Masie 
Eva's daughter Eva May - Ricker's mum 
would come home in tears because she had been around 
all the houses in Tyne Dock 
and been told that nobody had any money to  
pay their instalments and arrears on  
the credit they had taken out to 'buy' 
haberdashery - like anything woven 
and any accessories thereto 
haberdasher - dealer in small articles of dress 
ribbons, needles etc 
here's the thing 
in those days - the mid 1920s 
there really wasn't any sort of  
Experian or credit cards, or even bank accounts 
in a sense 
the haberdasher would not know  
how much 'tick' you had with the butcher or the baker 
or the green grocer 
and a couple of years without  
nick-knacks 
was a very different thing from a couple of days without food 
poor credit in the dress shop 
did not mean poor credit at the grocers 
but here's the thing 
the MEN were out of work in the shipyards 
but the women were not 
out of work in  
the biscuit factory 
you could say 
biscuits and bustles 
eventually Masie's father's wholesaler died 
and the son ended HIS credit 
so he moved to Redcar to be a clerk in the 
weighbridge 
at the steel works 
Endeavour is futile 
without a tragic 
back story 
you haven't  got a hope in hell 
 
another  
human interest story 
that's what you are 
that's what you  
need to be 
 
19th October 2020  
we were wondering... 
has Andy Burnham 
Labour Leader in exile 
seen the movie 
Ace in the Hole 
people in trouble 
immediate help available  
but 
journalist wants to  
give the story legs so it can go national 
for local authorities 
CoViD 19 
the latest goose that lays the golden eggs 
for local authorities 
There is a saying 
a stock response to a question 
Oh, that's beyond my pay grade 
the people most likely to try to operate 
beyond their pay grade are 
police officers 
around the world they stand for 
brute force and ignorance 
and their training manual is very thin 
it consists of  
if ignornce is bliss 
'tis follow to be wise 
 
British police reckon on being different 
they say they 
police by consent 
their is a fine line to be drawn here 
the line is between 
policing by consent 
and 
appeasement 
what this means is that if you consider the  
primary role of the police to be to 
keep the peace 
after all magistrates are also known as JPs 
Justices of the Peace 
the difficulty is that that shapes the world in the image of 
the people who shout the loudest 
the nutters who are to be 
pacified, placated, appeased 
and so we divide the population into three of four groups 
 the nutters 
the (silent) majority 
the experts 
the traditionalists 
 
and so to the crux of this matter 
the core saying
  
hold on tight to nurse 
for fear of something worse
  
and that is the story of Redcar and 
The Tees Valley 
over the past twenty to thirty years 
somebody came along 
Lord Melchet in the 1970s 
and said there is a better way to make steel 
and the people said.... 
wll it cost jobs 
and Lord Melchet said 
Hell yes 
and the people said 
no way 
in the 1960s and the 1970s you had two major 
post war re-organisation of British industry under way 
the modernisation of the railways and the modernisation of 
steel production 
there were vast difference between these two processes 
the modernisation of the railways replaced two 
cohorts of the working class elite 
train footplate crew and miners 
with 
a raggle taggle army of 
steering wheel attendants 
two minority elites replaced with 
low skilled, cheap, quick and easy to train 
people in entry level jobs 
the modernisation of the steel industry lead to 
a reduction in the British Steel  
shall we say payroll rather than WORKforce 
from hundreds of thousands to tens of thousands 
when the man of the house is unemployed 
and the woman of the house is working 
especially if they are not working at home 
a conflict between 
men with jobs and men without jobs 
can be played out as a campaign to promote the idea that 
women are at risk in the workplace 
however, returning to 
nurse and something worse 
we should say that nurse in this context is 
referring to 
governess, or school marm 
 many, possibly most, technological advances in  
industry 
result in 
the removal from the workplace of 
jobs that can only be done by a man 
at the transition from 
car assembly lines that were simply  
conveyor belts 
to car assembly lines using 
robots and power tools 
time and motion experts 
worked out how to divide tasks on the assembly line 
such that  
any worker could carry out the standard task in the standard time 
this was the end of 
big strong lads 
lifting and fitting the wheels 
and tall skinny lads with long fingers 
installing the instruments into the 
back of the dash board 
design the workplace to 
minimise training costs and 
democratise the workplace 
what it did do 
intentionally or not 
was signal to employers 
if training is 
out the window 
we can take on female workers 
without worrying that our investment in training will 
collide with the female realisation that 
pregnancy brings 
something more worth doing than 
working for a living 
and the point of this diversion? 
the Get Wet has been collecting the 
mutter from the gutter 
and they say that 
Redcar's Olefin 6 
was shut down and 'mothballed' 
in September 2020 
and as we said not so long ago 
chances of re-starting a  plant like that 
once it has gone cold? 
vanishing to zero 
and so? 
and so 
we think there will be  
no more flaring in Kirkleatham 
ever again 
and that should be an encouragement to 
people thinking of bringing jobs that 
do not involve  
sheltering under a dragon's wing 
 
 
and for the police? 
either  
butt out of things you don't understand 
or  
take care to distinguish 
envoronmental activists, and such 
from 
environmental experts, and such 
  
we don't know when was the 
High Water Mark of 
State controlled Grammar Schools 
but there were notable examples 
manchester Grammar School 
Royal Grammar School, Newcastle 
the idea that all the kids  
even all the boys 
smart enough for it to be worthwhile
giving them a decent education 
from cities as large as Manchester or 
Newcastle upon Tyne 
could be taught in just one school 
seems the basis of their relative decline 
one thing we can say is that there were many types of  
grammar school 
boys', girls', co-ed 
grammar technical schools 
our Ricker attended a 
boys' grammar technical school 
in the then small town of Redcar 
girls in the area could attend the 
Girls' Grammar 
Cleveland Grammar 
That was not a grammar technical school 
that was in a context where there were three tiers of 
state secondary school 
grammar, technical, modern 
we have no actual experence of 
Secondary Modern school education but 
we suspect that the 'modern' bit 
consisted of adding 
typing 
to the traditional 
Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic 
the three Rs so beloved of 
Cabinet Office Minister Gove 
Mr Gove of 
'we have had enough of experts' 
to distinguish 
technical from modern 
Redcar's grammar technical school had 
workshops with 
band saws, drill presses, planer thicknesers 
capstain lathes 
blacksmithing furnaces 
a technical drawing office 
that stuff would have been sold off when 
Coatham grammar technical school was 
replaced by  
Saltscar Comprehensive 
although it may have gathered dust until  
the building 
the most expensive ever put up by 
North Riding County Council 
 was demolshed to make way for 
a centre for excluded pupils 
under construction in 2020 
we have no confidence whatsoever that 
eductional buildings erected by the state 
will be for long used for the purpose 
advetised in the planning application 
as an aside 
we can report that when 
The Coatham Grammar building was put up 
so much was the concern over it being built 
on a marsh 
that its several wings were 
linked with 
rubber gaskets 
in case there was differential settlement 
and then when the site was re-developed fo the 
Mo Mowlam refuge for the slightly deranged 
instead of building the land up 
with hard core 
they dug down into the mud 
and in an even more distant reference we cn say that 
storms revealed a  
drowned forest 
on Coatham - Redcar beach 
some of the peat from that was been dug up during the 
construction of the new drain 
on the Regent Cinema site  
we are ay a strange juncture in UK politics 
the Tory party are presently 
the party of no loosers 
and the Labour party is  
the party of entitlement 
in that sense 
for the time being at least 
all UK politicians are 
left of centre 
the whole of Brtish politics has become somewhat like 
The National Trust 
saddled with a load of castles and ramparts to 
protect against those post Second World War 
enemies 
ignorance, want, stravation 
and  
foreve chanting 
hat's that coming over the hill 
is it a monster? 
a perfect example of this was the rather nice woman 
who was appointed 
children's commissioner for England 
and immediately went abroad - Middle East 
looking for the starving childen she couldn't find in the UK 
to refer back to an earlier comment 
having re-organised logistics to create opportunites for 
droves of steering wheel attendants 
we now have  
trucks driven by East Europeans 
and vans driven by 
grandads 
every initiative drempt up by 
the plutocrats of oxford University 
seems to end up being 
a solution  
in search of a problem 
plutocracy - government by the wealthy 
each of them 
having got bored with being wealthy 
gets into 
tell yer mother I save ya 
mode wanting to 
go down in history 
as having saved the nation or the world from 
something or other 
and that is not a lot different from 
for example 
the authorites in North Korea 
maintaining their grip on the populace by 
keeping them in ignorance 
just sufficent education to perform 
and feeding them stories about 
imminent invasion threats 
and so 
problems that require 
teamwork and public co-operation 
get shoved to the side in favour of 
'problems' that can be 
solved at a stroke 
by 
The Dear Leader 
 
  
sometimes we have a little chuckle to ourselves about 
home spun medical advice 
from the Dutch 
donderbus 
thunderbox 
we have a trumpet shaped firearm called a 
blunderbus 
Paddy Hodsman 
used to point out a bus on his travels with Tommy Robson 
the blunder bus 
taking the single mums to the orphanage to give birth 
that is by the bye 
we just thought we would record that whilst we had the laptop fired up 
the object today s to set a question for the people who fall between 
Only Connect 
and Unitersity Challenge 
in the US College Bowl 
 
What is the link between 
cancer 
and 
oxford Ragwort 
? 
 
the hint is  
margins 
pwoplw get confused about different classes of things that 
can do you harm 
our Ricker is always a bit careful about 
eating anything that has gone mouldy 
he likes cheese 
cheese is mouldy milk 
here's the thing about mouldy food 
the contrast between 
mouldy food and food with a bacterial contamination 
over the years a lot of people have died from eating grain 
flour based foods 
prepared from gain that had been contaminated with
we cook food to make it easier to bite and chew 
and to improve the taste 
we also cook food - and check temperatures reached 
to kill bacteria 
for the most part 
kill the bacteria - the food will be safe to eat 
we will be safe from infection 
eat something contaminated with the wrong kind of fungus 
made from the wrong sort of mushroom.... 
three sort sof mushroom 
tasty, magic, lethal 
all effects not of the mushroom itself 
potentially INFECTING you 
but the toxins it secretes and spread out through what it is growing on 
kill the fungus, you don't destroy the toxin 
not necessarily 
the one does not automatically follow from the other 
this needs saying but the point here is that 
cancer is not an infection 
it is not usually secreting a toxin 
not like 
botulism secreting 
clostrdium botulinum 
botulina toxin 
here's the thing 
if you give a patient the toxin that 
for the sake of arguement is 
the toxin produced by 
botulinum 
called  
botox 
or myobloc Jeauvea others 
say you gave it as an 
antibiotic 
rather than to kill nerve cells so your 
 muscles couldn't concertena your wrinkles 
absolutely, fundamentally 
if you are in a dirty filthy place such as a hospital... 
you may pick up C diff 
and your body's previous encounter - real or simulated with 
C botulina 
may  
compromise your efforts against C diff 
in this context 
the antibiotic IS NOT, NOT, Not 
causing the Clostridium to 
MUTATE 
it is compromising your ability to  
fight C diff 
bacteria and fungi secrete toxins to 
suppress competitor bacteria and fungi 
viruses do not do this 
viruses are way too simple 
viruses produce one thing 
viruses 
and they can't do that without hijacking a living cell 
Oxford ragwort 
this Scenecio was introduced into Britain via  
Francisco upani and William gerard in the 
years of their visit 
1700, 1701, 1702 
from Sicily 
where it lives as a native on  
volcanc ash 
they planted some in the 
Duchess of Baufort's garden in 
Badminton 
later jacob Bobart the Younger 
took some to the 
Oxford Botanic Garden 
where he was  
Horti Praefectus
head gardener 
it found the stonework of the 
Dreaming Spires 
including the 
Bodleian Library 
made it feel right at home 
by 1800 it had the official name 
Senecio squalidus 
from being endemic to the volcanoes of Sicily 
it transitioned to become 
endemic to those slopes 
and the also to Oxford walls 
endemic meaning 
restricted to, not found anywhere else 
and then came the  
Industrial Revolution 
and for some strange reason 
ocford was connected to the 
Railway network 
this had two effects 
thye seeds of Oxford ragwaort were carried along the tracks 
by the slipstream, vorticies, eddies of airste up by  
trains 
the second factor was 
the tracks of the railway were set on rocky balast 
and that we strewn with cinders and ashes 
even more like the old country and its volcanoes 
than soppy honey coloured stone walls is Oxford 
and now 
Oxford ragwort can be found anywhere in the UK where 
there have been railways 
cancer cells DO NOT 
INFECT 
neighbouring cells 
just as ragwort cannot transform 
nearby rose into ragwort 
cancer cells ar cells that have entered an  
inappropriate stage of development 
or mode of action 
most likely becaue a gene or number of genes that 
should have been or were 
switched off 
were inappropriately 
switched back on again 
or the converse 
this is why 
if you have  - for instance  
breast cancer 
'that has spread' 
it will be the 
lymph glands in your arm pit 
and not other structures nearer to the breast that  
may well be removed 
however, further to other comments about the role of 
bone marrow in immunology 
bladder cancer spreads to - bone liver lung 
breast cancer spreads to bone, brain, liver ling 
colon cancer spreads to liver lung 
kidney cancer spreads to bone liver lung 
secondaries or daughter colonies of 
mode dysfunctional cells set up where the 
blood circulation 
and 
lymphatic drainage 
carry them 
each cancer cell is in a world of its own 
transported into a 
second childhood 
where it just grows and divides 
to produce a meaningless blob or mass of tissue that 
usually squashes surrounding structures 
but may secrete harmful hormones are similar chemicals 
the cancer cell has lost its sense of its role in the 
organisation, structure and function of 
the body as a whole 
like an ambulance chasing lawyer 
and so we should end with a quote 
somebody first said it but we forget who 
an honest politician is a person who 
when bought 
stays bought 
Sometimes we want to publish a picture of something that is 
very big 
and things to do with trains are often 
long and thin 
to give you a chance to explore today's thing 
we have set the picture  
side on 
most mobile 'phones will have a fit if you try to see something side on so 
good luck with that 
we said earlier that contractors were installin drainage on the far 
boundary of Coatham Marsh 
even earlier we said that the nature of the  
keep out signs indicate 
high voltage electrical installations 
if you can see the little white towers... 
these are to stop te drains overflowing 
if they back up 
There's a Whitby mineral train in the shot of you can find it
this is a track bed for a set of 
sidings intended for fuelling trains with hydrogen 
The white streak to the right is the road bridge at 
Redcar British Steel railway station 
the black building is 
Steel House - visible from Trunk Road - other side 
the second picture... 
at the bottom you my just be able to see the 
new fence that 
fences the 
Hydrogen site 
from the 
steelworks 
  
  
 12th October 2020  
People in general think of 
Mercedes 
as a car and van manufacturer 
from the earliest days 
Mercedes was a name 
the name of a company chief's daughter 
a name given to a brand of vehicles made and sold by 
Daimler 
Daimler was at the start British but soon became German 
Daimler is probably bigger than BMW 
BMW is a German family business making cars and such 
The Ford family own around 2 per cent of shares in Ford 
the thing is 
the shares the family own are 
voting shares 
all the rest carry no authority but 
bear risk and dividend dependent on how the family run the company 
The company still owe billions to the US government  
after a bail out during the 2008 crash 
although they have paid back three quarters of what they borrowd 
when we talk of 
Mercedes 
in the context of Formula 1 motor racing 
we mean  
Mercedes AMG Petronas 
at points along the way 
two companies grew up  
as dominant amongst those  
doing up-grades on Mercedes cars 
AMG 
and 
Brabus 
in broad terms 
Mercedes bought all of AMG 
and half of Brabus 
in essence Mercedes have to irons in the fire of 
performance upgrades 
Petronas is owned by what they call a 
sovereign wealth fund 
it is owned by a government 
probably the government of Malaysia 
Petronas is shall we say ten times the size of Mercedes 
and they 'own' through sponsorship 
Mercedes AMG Petronas Formula 1 racing 
Petronas do not own Brabus 
Petronas are into many things 
property - the Petronas Towers 
but mainly 
oil,gas and shipping 
Red Bull sell sodas 
Red Bull do not make sodas 
they licence other companies to make 
Red Bull 
Red  Bull 
sell Red Bull 
and they spend a third of the money they make on 
Red Bull Racing 
a couple of F1 teams 
and that spend amounts to 
thirty million dollars a year 
and half of that has been going to Honda for engines 
The point is 
Mercedes AMG - owned by a government and in the fossil fuel trade 
will not be making fossil fuel free engines for anybody 
would Daimler through Brabus 
make a hydrogen fuelled internal combustion engine for 
Red Bull? 
essentially Red Bull have  
let out a tender 
they re offering 20 million pounds sterling GBP 
Great British Pounds 
per year 
to supply four F1 cars with 
hydrogen powered internal combustion engines 
Fiat through Ferrari? 
Daimler through Brabus? 
not Honda it seems 
Renault? 
  if Renault Nissan Mitsubishi 
are thinking past batteries 
and let us say 
the hydrogen will be  being produced in Redcar 
and Nissan is near Sunlessland 
Sunderland 
and the UK government are handing out cash to companies willing to  
develop new uses for hydrogen if they are 
base in the Tees valley 
It is rather looking like Renalt engines for Red Bull 
even if that means a change of 
senior staff 
at Renault  
incidentally 
between them 
Renault and Nissan 
Own three per cent of 
Daimler 
it is an important dimension of 
protecting our credibility 
that  
 
We have to drip feed information 
to some extent 
we have - if you check - mentioned  
cast iron gas mains being replaced with 
plastics ones 
to be more resistant to water content 
increasing water content 
we now have 
British Gas Networks 
selecting Cumbria 
the county of the 
Lake District 
of north west England 
selecting Cumbria for a trial of 
increasing the amount of 
hydrogen 
in mains gas 
you may have noticed that we are amongst the few who refer to 
Renault, Nissan, Mitsubishi 
as such 
Renault make their  
Nissan Leaf battery car in 
 Washington, Tyne and Wear 
near to Sunderland 
a few years ago they hived off their  
battery making division 
if you make electric cars and you stop making 
batteries... 
you are thinking of switching  
from batteries to fuel cells 
Now Honda have given 18 months notice of bringing and end to 
making engines for 
Formula 1 motor racing 
Formula 1 has pioneered  
hybrid  motive power technology 
as it stands the plan as published is 
ramp up hydrogen for Cumbria cutomers 
and if all is well 
run around as some people may remember from the 1970s 
run around and swap the  
burner nipples in all the customer appliances 
as in the switch from coal or town gas to 
natural gas 
and fit - for free - new burner nipples to burn  
pure hydrogen 
if it works in Cumbria they will roll it out across the UK 
we've set a couple of hares running there 
and here is another 
if you can really easily modify a  
domestic water heating boiler to run central heating 
you can adapt an internal combustion engine to run on 
hydrogen 
you don't HAVE TO have a fuel cell stack to  
run a vehicle on hydrogen 
we listen to people quite carefully 
we think there is in  F1 terms 
pressure from  
Red Bull 
for regulation changes that would allow them to 
build their own 
hydrogen powered internal combustion engine for F1 
whilst Honda concentrate on fuel cells 
the project has been priced at 
200 million GBP Great British Pounds 
can the Red Bull owner afford that 
probably 
you don't have that close a grip on the numbers 
if your planning isn't really well advanced 
a hydrogen powered internal combustion engine in F1 
in the 2022 season 
that's the concept 
 
  
A little while ago we had something to say about 
if a female does not show signs of puberty by 
age 13 and or is not menstruating at least  
nine times a year by age 16 
something is wrong and tests are in order 
we respond to news stories in the question of 
when it is right to raise certain issues 
and so we are presently driven to the other end of the scale 
in the past we have told the tale of 
little boy Ricker who was so excited about 
going on holiday... 
that when his mam insisted he have a wee before they set off 
he had to explain that he couldn't  
because 'it' had gone hard and despite needing a wee 
he couldn't  
get it out 
and this refers to the fact that 
males get 
piss proud 
and females don't 
a male can get an erection that is more pronounced 
if his bladder presses on the veins draining his penis 
and this can be expected from the age of puberty and 
nothing is amiss if puberty happens 
 in females by the age of 8 
and in males by the age of 9 
when you have  
ambulance chasing lawyers getting BBC screen time 
to speak of 
females of age 19 not 9 being 
too young to be skewered by a prince... 
you are not surprised if 
the Quackery of the Land of the Free 
want to dose all under twenties with 
puberty inhibitors 
drugs that suppress the production of  
puberty causing hormones 
infantilising a young person for  
personal 
but not sexual 
gratification  
is 
child abuse 
and so the question is 
is there  social harm as well as personal abuse  
if parents delay the sexual maturity of their offspring 
to a time of the parents' choosing? 
 this whole matter is reflective of 
foot binding in Ancient China 
and not exactly 
chemical castration 
but 
chemical FGM 
genital mutilation 
even if temporary 
it has a smack of 
I'm up, pull the ladder up 
WE are the adults and they are the children 
and it's gonna stay that way 
 5th October 2020  
Who is 
Sir Tufty Cutts?
sorry... 
Our Ricker can't tell whether his brain is going 
or standards of 
diction 
enunciation 
on the TV 
are slipping 
anyway  
not Sr Tufty Cutts 
certificates 
Our Rickers got lots 
two of the are certificates from 
Durham University  
for 
Distinctions in 
Database 
Spreadsheet 
we have had a data loss in  
Public Health England 
recently 
There are two fundamentally different ways of 
storing and retrieving data in computers 
one of the problems with this site is that it does use 
tables 
very badly 
tables are a variety of arrays 
data can be stored in computers in 
either 
arrays 
or 
linked lists 
if you have  
750 pupils in a school 
you can set up a database that is defined as having 
enough cells to contain  
750 individual data sets 
on the other hand 
you can set up a computer to accept data as it comes and 
end the entry with a pointer to the locaton in memory where 
the next data set can be found 
in other words 
when you don't know how many people will apply for a CoViD test 
you could set up an array or table with space for 
60 million people 
or you could use a linked lists protocol that can cope with 
any number of data sets 
we presume that several government departments have  
universal data arrays 
Inland Revenue, your National Insurance Number 
your NHS number which incidentally 
is in no way related to your NI number and 
if you are a patient at a major hospital 
you will have a patient number that is in no way related to 
your NHS number 
an NHS number is 10 digits
a James Cook number will be a letter followed by 6 digits 
when these web sites were registered 
the registration HAD to BE made via  
fax 
not 'phone call, not letter, not email 
fax 
people don't expect to have to 
re-train if they have not lost their appointment 
so they use 
legacy technologies 
 
  
we have photos of the latest visit of 
Cnute Construction 
 to Redcar 
but they are not exciting enough for us to bother to upload them 
got a bunch of thickoes? get them to fill plastic bags with sand off the beach 
and stack them around the Regent 
including across the exit of the land drain you are contracted to move 
come back after a lively night and find 
Old North Sea has half emptied all your sandbags 
if you got a handfull of 
Hi-Vis old farts and a digger 
why bother with the  
plans 
 
   
  
  
  
  
   
  
  
  
we think 
we think this may be a pictue of a tree 
if it is a picture of a tree... 
it's a weather picture 
somewhere around here there is a piture of a tree at 
Redcar Tesco 
that has had the leaves on its northern half 
stripped off by a north wind 
leaving the leaves on the southern half 
still in place 
just wanted to explain how that got there 
if it did 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Our Ricker has been doing a bit more gardening this year 
and these pictures illustrate 
just how long it is since he was last able to  
do much in the garden 
 
  
The fossil boys have got lots and lots of money 
they can afford to give lots of it to 
the likes of Satchi and Sarchi 
Public Relations people 
to spread  
disinformation 
nobody gives us any money to correct 
the  
Group Think 
they generate 
The cheap and cheerful repost.... 
Somebody has convinced the UN 
the United Nations 
who have told the BBC 
that 
18 per cent of global carbon dioxide emissions 
come from agriculture 
and that 20 per cent come from transport 
let us turn the ideas under that upside down 
from the point of view of your own home life... 
setting aside the economics of running the home 
take the life of a person in their early teens 
for themselves they have two things to consider 
what they eat 
and 
what they wear 
they eat and drink food and drink 
they part company permanently with the waste that produces 
they buy, are given, clothes 
they wear the clothes and after they have been worn 
they 
set them aside in their wardrobe, throw them over a chair 
stick them in the laundry for mum to wash 
take them to the charity shop 
throw them in the rubbish 
choices 
whatever 
food and drink and a straight through deal 
unless you follow Howard Hughes 
clothes have a re-cycling element 
essentially 
you can add and remove clothes to and from your 
wardrobe 
at will 
some used clothes are turned into  
wool based wall insulation but that is a side issue 
agriculture is like the clothing industry 
like the fossil carbon elements are 
diesel fuel for farm machinery and food distribution 
and fossil fuel inputs into 
fertilizer and agri-chemical inputs 
these are not  
ANYTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH 
carbon going into and coming out of 
farm animals 
farmers take carbon dioxide out of the wardrobe 
the air, the atmosphere  
and feed it to plants 
the animals - or people - eat the plants 
and the carbon dioxide is returned to the wardrobe 
either directly through burps and bottom burps 
or after the microbes 'out there' have 
digested the poo 
the question is not 
how often do we visit the wardrobe? 
the question is 
how often do we hit the shops? 
there is no net impact on global warming from 
the essential processes of agriculture 
the single most important question in  
the economics of agriculture is 
plants fix carbon dioxide 
you gotta do that to be regarded as a plant 
fix in the sense of taking it out of the atmosphere 
and turning it into something solid  
such as sugars and cellulose and lignin 
a small proportion of plants 
do the same thing with nitrogen 
in a  
crop rotation 
one year in four - usually 
a farmer grows a crop that fixes nitrogen 
in the way that all plants fix carbon dioxide 
we will not check this but  
the Ricker mind thinks of 
clover and beans 
it is actually nodules on the roots of suitable 
host plants that contain the 
nitrogen fixing bacteria 
just as in 'all plants' 
it is the chloroplasts that live in the leaves 
that fix the carbon dioxide 
we can mine for all the nutrients plants and ourselves need 
except nitrogen 
recycling the fixed nitrogen 
before it is released back as a 
gas in the atmosphere by 
unhelpful micro-organisms  
is 
the essence of 
orgasmic farming 
that is 
organic with a PR spin 
if you are vegetarian... 
to be organic 
you need to spread 
human waste on farmers' fields 
if you eat meat 
it is animal waste that has to be spread 
human waste pong something awful 
and so we run it through 
the Northumbria Water 
Bran Sands  
sewage dewatering plant 
to remove the pong and probably kill any 
pathogens 
before it is spread on the fields as pellets 
In theory 
you need a special licence to sell and use 
polyhalite fertilizer 
such as is dug up at Boulby 
and will be dug up in the new mine 
a licence to use this 
fertilizer that has no nitrogen in it 
unless you mix it with a source of 
fixed nitrogen 
that is why the Billingham plant - factory - was 
originally called 
CCF 
Concentrated Compounded Fertilizer 
Nirtam mixed with salt 
nitrogen, phosphorous, potash,  
NPK 
yer gardening gurus will tell you 
an unbalanced fertiliser gives you 
all leaves and no flowers 
 people are made of 
CHONPS 
carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, phosphorous sulphur 
and all those other things 
well perhaps for a start it should be 
CCHONPS 
because we would be 
jelly fish without 
calcium 
the other things are mineral too 
magnesium, zinc 
this is why if we are cremated 
we turn into a puff of smoke and a pile of ash 
we are made from 
fixed air - oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide 
dissolved rocks 
minerals 
and that whole thing of 
water 
hydrogen compounded with oxygen 
Ricker remembers a snort of derision from a 
University of Teesside Business Studies lecturer when he said 
well, the brain is mainly 
fat and salty water 
but it is 
things stick in your mind 
when Ricker was at school 
there were educational films 
no computers 
you live your life up to a point and then you may have 
 a moment, an epiphany 
Ricker had grown up with the idea that 
Diamonds are For Ever 
then he saw this educational movie where 
a diamond was heated in a gas flame and 
dropped into a flask of 
liquid oxygen 
nd it scuttered around the glass and 
fizzled away to nothing 
it had been turned into carbon dioxide 
by appropriate conditions 
 
  
When Ricker was at school his head teacher was a reader of 
The Times Education Supplement 
ever now and again he would announce something about
that he had read there 
Jarvis won a photography competition 
from time to time he would announce that somebody had been 
granted an exhibition by Oxford or Cambridge 
in essence a student studies for three to five years 
The theory is that if a student does  
really really well in any year 
they would get money to support them in the following year 
if they did well in that year 
the following year they could get a scholarship 
this means that this is a double whammy 
signification that they are doing well 
and money 
Durham do things differently 
if they have a student short of cash 
they are up for a 
bursary 
cash because they are broke, end of 
  
 
 
  
Things change  
little things pass us by 
something that we heard tell of was a system of 
some sort of quiet - on the quiet 
negative income tax 
we are not tax accountants but over time there have been various 
tax allowances 
as a teenager Ricker's Uncle Wilf showed Ricker a copy of 
ICI's annual accounts - late 1960s 
impossible to remember whether the chap mentioned was  
The chairman or the chief exec 
at the time 
his 'compensation' was listed as 
salery subject to income tax - £2,000 per year 
expenses not subject to income tax - £20,000 per year 
one of the features of the pre-Johnson Tory government was 
introducing a payment - a few hundred pounds 
to couples who married 
it is interesting to consider 
in terms of income taz these days 
does a wife claim an extra allowance because 
she has a husband 
or 
does a husband claim an allowance because he has a wife 
apparently they can choose 
if the wife is paying 'supertax' the 40? per cent on the  
top part of high earnings 
and her husband isn't 
for tax purposes, the wife is 'head of household' 
to claim against 40 per cent instead of normal 20 per cent 
some people think the tax system is designed to generate income  
for the government 
some people think the tax system is designed to 
mould human behaviour 
and so we are not surprised that it is suggested that for a time 
people paying higher level income tax 
were made tax allowances for their children 
at a higher rate than people who paid nothing but standard rate 
as we heard it 
there was a major tax advantage in having 
4 rather than 2 children if you were a higher rate tax payer 
and so, at some point, a child may be one of four 
and become too old to qualify for their parent's tax relief 
and be at university 
and so... 
is a student in need or an exhibition or scholarship 
or a bursary 
a student from a deprived area - background 
or a student from a family with four or five kids where 
the collective 
college fund 
has died up 
because daddy and mummy can no longer claim for the 
entire brood 
on expenses 
 
we just want ot add a note about local government finances 
chief executives in local authorities are paid 
vast sums 
the roles are therefore keenly competed for 
and so only people who know the ways of the world get such jobs 
it is not surprising then that  
local authorities  
Up North  
want to take over control of CoViD testing 
If they do you will se numbers sky rocket  
because/ 
the more 'cases' they can register 
the more funds they can claim for from 
central government 
and do you think that 
if local authorities hired  
test and trace officers 
they would 
EVER 
make them redundant? 
see there's balance 
left and right wing rip offs in two paragraphs 
 28th September 2020  
  
Left Luggage Removal 
The sculpture 
Left Luggage 
was left by the production company
Atonement 
and now it is being moved on to 
make way for a new 
Cinema Complex 
Some people have asked 
related to 
Jonathan Swift? 
people have traced Taylor Swift's family back 
eleven generations but not found a Jonathan 
Jonathan Swift was born in the 17th century 
Jonathan Swift was Irish in a time when being Irish was 
to be British 
we may say things about his genetics 
but what we know is that he attended  
Oxford University 
Hertford College 
but then he attended Trinity College, Dublin 
we could - at this time - refer to his 
Modest Proposal 
but he is more famous for writing  
Gulliver's Travels 
it is well known - even today 
Although Swift locates the four destinations in 
is that on 
different continents 
we think he may have been thinking nearer to home 
Most people remember  
Liliput 
the world where people are very small 
six inches tall - 15 cm 
Some remember  
Brobdingnag 
where the people are 
the people are 
72 feet tall  
there is less consideration given to 
The flying island of Lapuna 
or Balnibarbi 
the land ruled from the island 
The 4th land is not really named  
it is just an island where 
the Houyhnhnms and the Yahoos live 
we are doing the 
Eng. Lit. essay here 
We are putting forwards is our normal 
pithy way 
the proposal 
for you to analyse and discuss... 
Lilliput is Swift's version of London 
Brobdingnag although set as 
the united States of America 
is also perhaps 
Oxford 
Laputa would serve as 
The British Empire 
and also as 
Cambridge University 
Blind Science with not humanity 
to contrast with Oxford's 
Faith not Facts 
humanity and compassion 
and the final land 
the land of Yahoos 
The land where the Houyhnhnms or  
horses come from 
Ireland 
and to that end... 
we will not type out the full title 
it begins 
A Modest Proposal For Preventing the Children 
of the poor from being a burthen sic 
to their parents or country 
It is essentially as a satire... 
putting up the proposal that since the poor of Ireland 
are much better at producing children  
than at producing food crops 
they should eat their children 
This is one of those absolute  
eco-disaster  
stories 
1729 A modest Proposal 
1845 to 1859 Irish Potato Famine 
1584 potatoes planted in  
Youghall near Cork, Ireland 
Ireland is 
wet 
it is so wet that it mainly grows 
grass
raise cattle for dairy as opposed to beef 
so along come the potatoes 
and they get planted instead of the grass and 
you cut the cattle out of the loop 
and so you can feed lots and lots of people 
without having to have lots and lots of cattle 
except that    
grass belongs in Ireland 
and potatoes  
don't 
you need a somewhat drier climate than Ireland 
say, Lincolnshire or Holland 
in Ireland  
potatoes get 
blight 
they rot 
and rotten potatoes don't make 
cheese 
1560 population of Ireland 1.4 million 
1718 population of Ireland 2,9 million 
1841 population of Ireland 8.13 million 
1851 population of Ireland 6,55 million 
1861 population of Ireland 5,8 million 
2016 population of Ireland 6.66 million 
These are All Ireland Numbers 
Island of Ireland 
It has taken from the Irish Famine in 1851 to  
2016 to get the population back to post famine levels 
never mind pre-famine levels 
That Roman Catholic anti-contraception message is 
finally getting through? 
Breed and the Brits will feed you 
as at present 
Ireland is 
90 percent self sufficient in food 
over the 40 years that the UK has been  
In Europe 
world transportation methods have improved 
fifty years ago most lamb eaten in the UK was 
frozen New Zealand Lamb 
Europe had 
Wine Lakes 
and Butter Mountains 
surplus food in storage 
separating the UK from its Empire 
and the resultant Commonwealth 
was a major plank of European policy in 
reducing European overproduction of food 
well - oversupply 
if Britain stopped importing food from the Commonwealth 
and Australia started exporting food to China 
farm incomes in Europe could go up 
without  
setaside
including British farmers 
to set a proportion of their land aside 
leave it  
fallow 
to counter oversupply 
Set-Aside was an incentive scheme introduced by 
The European Economic Community in 1988 
to help reduce the large and costly surpluses  
produced in Europe under the 
guaranteed price system of 
the Common Agriculture Policy CAP 
it became compulsory in 1992 
originally set at 15 per cent of land 
land that could be farmed but wasn't 
it reduced to zero by 2007 
a word here about  
tariffs 
import tariffs are paid by the importer to 
the government of the country 
INTO which the goods are being imported 
in simple terms 
you may pay 20 per cent VAT on a thing 
because you have bought it 
you may pay another 20 percent on that thing 
if it is imported 
the numbers may vary 
you could pay zero VAT on home grown 
essential foods 
20 per cent VAT on luxury foods 
and 40 percent VAT and Tariff 
on imported luxury food 
you could pay 
20 per cent VAT on a second hand car 
you could pay 60 percent on a new imported car 
20 per cent VAT because you bought it 
20 Per cent CAR TAX because it's new 
20 per cent import duty because it's imported 
not all number need be 20 per cent 
but ALL those taxes go to your own 
national government and 
the base price on which they are calculated may be 
discounted by the government where the cars were made 
by way of an 
Export Subsidy 
incentive payment 
so that the pre-tax price in the importing country 
may be lower than the pre-tax price of the same tem 
in the exporting country 
thus the government of the exporting country are 
paying the government of the importing country to 
take their goods 
The present BrExit 'negotiations are about 
European manufacturing countries 
Germany, France, Italy 
wanting to retain control over 
the level of Export Subsidy the UK government can pay 
to companies which export to Europe 
importers in Europe are not  
altogether against 
UK Export Subsidies 
 
 
  
 
  
we have extremely limited resources and 
particularly in these troubled times 
we have concentrated them on content 
we have not taken the trouble to set up 
user tracking for any site other than 
redcar.biz 
as we have said 
other sites with the same content are 
easier to use on a mobile 'phone 
we may well - in context of our overall traffic  
assume from the little information we have that 
people have switched to  
Teesvalley and our street 
we can only say that  
Redcar dot biz had 1,109 unique visitors 
that's visitors not visits 
in January 2020 
1,046 in February 
and 219 in August 
transparency that is all 
we could say that the information has 
an R number 
we don't have re-tweets and such 
but in the old terms 
people are free to 
mirror 
this information even though it is 
copyright  
 
  
It is a fact not often considered that 
'Great Cities' in general, are located near to 
where great rivers meet the ocean 
London is a 'Great City' and 
Glasgow was for some time regarded as 
'The Second City of Empire' 
It has been relatively recently that 
London has survived despite the 
'Port of Thames' 
moving to Tilbury 
and a little longer since most ships could get 
no closer to Glasgow than  
Grenock - spelled, spelt, Greenock 
We have made mention of  
the Manchester Ship Canal 
being the means by which  
Manchester competed with Liverpool 
What, then, is the explanation for 
Birmingham? 
Brum 
The explanation is only partly geographical 
Birmingham is located slightly centrally in England 
Birmingham exploited the development of 
canals to compensate for its lack of a major river 
all of this worked until the coming of the  
railways when Birmingham's lack of a river  
became even less important 
Birming ham was then sitting pretty with a choice of 
Sea Ports located at the local railway goods yard 
all in the realms of  
compensation and mitigation 
not cause 
What is the cause and function of 
Oxford? 
Oxford is and was a place  
in the countryside where  
The Chattering classes of London could 
escape 
The Great Stink 
a safe place away from  
pestilence and plague 
If we now consider the contrast between 
Great Cities of Europe 
and  
Great Cities of The World... 
what is the major difference? 
What one factor distinguishes 
Birmingham from  
London, Antwerp, Saint Petersburg? 
There is something that Birmingham is 
NOT 
it is not a  
Guild City 
once a year 
we completely forget at what time of year 
probably late spring, Boat Race time 
the BBC slip in a couple of hours of 
Saturday morning TV that gets little publicity 
it is coverage of 
The Lord Mayor's Show 
and the floats are not 
Notting Hill Carnival 
Samba Band 
derived 
they represent the 
Trade Guilds of The City of London 
As with the  
Union of Sooth Sayers and Mystics 
in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 
demanding 
Clearly Defined areas of Doubt and Uncertainty 
through to  
Trades Unions in the second half of the 20th Century 
and their  
Demarcation Disputes 
In London you could not work at a trade unless 
you were a member of the appropriate  
Trade Guild 
In Birmingham 
You had the goods, you could sell them 
and all the while 
gradually 
local authorities under pressure to establish and run 
Trading Standards Departments 
to in a sense 
Test Goods 
in some unremarked contrast to 
Universities and Technical Colleges 
set up to test workers 
That is a fairly significant conflict in world affairs 
The quintessential Guild University of London is 
City University 
Gresham College 
Sir John Cass Business School 
Their ethos is 
take on as students people who have already got 
through family ties and networking 
nailed on job prospects 
and train them to be consistent in their work with 
the approprate Guild 
In the sense that their full time courses evolved from 
day release and night school for 
ambitious employees 
'Real Appretices' 
This is not practicable for the new 
street corner universities 
they know that most of their graduates' 
First Destination on Graduation  
will be 
the Hospitality Industry 
Soda Jerks 
berger flpper 
you can't spend three years 
training somebody how to use a  
beer pump and a contactless till 
 
 21st September 2020  
  
There is a vague distinction between 
a constricted site 
and 
a non-constricted site 
Interserve are building a refuge for refusenics 
The Mo Mowlam Centre for 
excluded pupils 
on Corporation Road and 
it is a huge site 
and they are putting up a couple of phases of 
single storey prefabs that take up around 
15 to 20 per cent of the site 
they have chosen to go 
clarts plodging 
as Our Friends in the North 
would have it 
mud on the road 
contractors and deliverers told 
park on the pavement 
workers parking in the  
Technical College car park opposite 
somehow overcoming the extensive provision to keep 
local residents out of the car park when the college is closed 
and then there are the contractors 
demolishing the old Pavilion Theatre, Regent Cinema Coatham Pier 
on a restricted site 
with a clearly defined work site that is very much 
restricted for size 
we shall see whether they continue as the have begun 
and 
live up to The Considerate Constructors code 
and don't join Interserve in the 
Clarts Plodging League  
what is so particularly upsetting about The Mo Mowlam Contract is 
that throughout 
Tarmac have delivered and laid wagon after wagon of 
blacktop to site 
and the site manager has refused to make  
workers and visitors  
USE THE ALREADY LAID CAR PARK 
is there a hint of 
just ignore the little woman about this? 
now that our Ricker is very old he sometimes loses a word 
he's lost a word just now 
the word he wants is hiding behind another word or term 
every time he searches for the word he gets 
toxic shock 
that's not what he wants for the present purpose 
you will have heard of 
post traumatic shock syndrome 
PTSD 
so that means it must be 
disorder not syndrome 
post traumatic shock disorder 
and so he has the missing word 
the word he wanted was 
traumatic 
or it may have been 
he's still not sure 
there are three things going on here 
trauma - a bang on the head, pr a broken leg 
then there's  
shock 
now shock has been used in times past to refer to the 
effects of blood loss 
and the surge of hormones that come with physical trauma 
so the second thing is the effects of having a  
now healed injury 
the third thing is 
having similar psychological and hormonal consequences of 
witnessing something terrible happening to someone else 
a near miss for yourself 
or something really nasty happening to, say, a pet 
and so we run to the actual word Ricker lost 
hysterical 
women used to be said to be hysterical because 
they had a womb with associated ovaries and hormones 
Ricker is very particular about words and he gets 
hissy about misleading use of words 
it is only recently that mental illness has been 
'acceptable' 
on account of 'cos he watches 
Le Tour de France cycling... 
he sees the ads in between and 
most of them are for charities 
and  
Guide Dogs for the Blind 
and 
the RNIB 
Royal National Institute for the Blind 
or 
Royal National Institute of Blind People 
the real problem is the way 
medical professionals use technical terms that 
mean something different to them 
from what they lean their patients to believe they mean 
technically people can be 
blind 
or 
vision impaired 
but the Guide Dogs people and the RNIB 
have picked up this term 
partially sighted 
strictly speaking 
partially sighted means 
suffering from 
hysterical blindness 
and if a person has a functioning visual system  
but 
either  
blots out the images 
or does not trust that what they can 'see' 
is really there... 
a guide dog 
will give them confidence to walk about 
a guide dog may also be a great help to 
a person who is  
blind or vision impaired 
but it is a mistake to assume that 
in an ideal world 
everyone with a vision disturbance or blindness 
would benefit from having a guide dog 
guide dogs could  
restore confidence to a person who has 
any sort of 
agoraphobia 
particularly if that is vision based 
if you wear glasses - specs 
you are sending a message 
I don't see too well 
and a guide dogs sends that message more loudly 
somebody else who does not see too well 
may not want to send that message and will 
either blunder about or more likely, these days 
wear contact lenses 
some vision impaired people would not want to 
for instance, attract pick pockets 
by having a guide dog 
there is this standard piece of  
medical gallows humour 
the consultant says 
they have patients who are in because of a disability 
but if I set off the fire alarm 
it's the patients who 'can't walk' 
who are first out of their beds and 
off down the corridor 
and so 
we have 
assistance dogs 
not just guide dogs for the blind 
 
we think we know why the vision assistance charities have 
revived the old 
partially sighted 
it is probably an attempt to 
accentuate the positive 
it's probably a bit late to some extent but to 
accentuate the positive they should have taken  
a leaf out of the book of the 
Spastics' Society 
who finding 
spaz 
being used as a derogatory 
changed their name to 
Scope 
they should consider whether 
Vision 
or 
Seeing 
are available as charity names 
Sight Savers is already taken 
 
  
 14th September 2020  
The smelting of aluminium is very 
energy intensive 
it uses a lot of energy 
back in the day when aluminium was an 
exotic wonder material 
the cost was - well, very high 
and in the UK 
especially with aluminium being so important to 
military aircraft 
the government had a special industrial complex built 
It was built near Fort William in Scotland
it had the ability to produce 
42,000 tons or is that tonnes, probably tonnes 
42,000,000 kilos 
about 100,000 pounds  
of aluminium 
using 
hydroelectric power 
and it was probably very important to the UK war effort 
but these days despite still being able to  
generate that amount of aluminium 
that is not the sort of amount of aluminium 
an economy such as the UK's requires 
We have referred to Lynemouth, Big Georgie and The Ace of Spades 
they took over the core production 
That closed when the coal ran out 
didn't completely run out but the easy to get at stuff ran out 
and then there was  
Anglesey 
and that shut down  
but there was a plan 
The plan was  
Hitachi 
would build a new 
Wylfa 
Nuclear Power Station on Anglesey 
to power a new aluminium smelter 
and than there was  
Redcar and the Dogger Bank Array 
and now Hitachi have put it in writing 
they will not build Wylfa 
The Dogger Bank Array is well on in 
being built 
Lynemouth ran out of coal 
Nuclear is too expensive 
major aluminium smelting in the UK will 
happen in Redcar using 
wind power 
it's dead cheap to build a wind farm 
it's dead cheap to renew a wind farm 
and 
howe's about you try to 
bomb a wind farm? 
how you gonna lock onto a bunch of 
big plastic sticks 
spread out across miles and miles of open sea? 
militarily a wind farm is a very secure power source 
slightly unreliable, but very secure 
which is why  
The British 
bury power cables 
you may fracture some turbine blades 
but even if your subs identify where the connecting cables run 
how are you gonna damage them? 
and who wants to clean up after a  
bomb has hit a nuclear power station?  
if you use 
floating wind turbines 
the connecting cables will be vulnerable to 
being cut 
so you need a very very large area of 
quite shallow seabed 
The Dogger Bank, off Yorkshire 
and Redcar has massive amounts of the well located 
Brown Field Sites 
 
  
We are getting rather frayed at the edges 
we are running this lot from a  
smart 'phone 
and the smart 'phone is on line 
and the lap top isn't 
but we have to  
1 upload code from the laptop to the 'phone 
2 have the 'phone switched on near the laptop 
consequently 
either by cable of bluetooth 
the 'phone seems to be connecting the laptop to 
The Internet 
and altering software settings 
and since the laptop is running Windows 7... 
it should not be being updated 
what we can report is that we can't be bothered to 
fire up the 'phone 
every time a thought occurs 
and there is an order of magnitude difference between 
a bit and a byte 
we can say that the traffic on the suite of sites 
for September 2020 is 
30 gigabytes 
not 30 gigabits 
there are approximately 9 bits in a byte 
since we get the same stat for every site we assume this is  
the total not per site 
and so we have a responsibility to 
1 get things right 
2 keep on paying the bills 
but we are 
mega fed up 
and not about to add to our expenses by 
taking out a home internet contract 
when we have absolutely no idea WHEN we will get 
back into the 'office' 
if we didn't have 
'testing' we would think this epidemic was over 
out of an abundance of caution 
we are relying on half remembered mantras from 
the childhood of superannuated geeks 
IF all these  
experiments to test religious beliefs 
lead to a solid knowledge base 
the investment may prove valuable 
at the moment we are not distinguishing 
died WITH CoViD 
from 
died FROM CoViD 
to some extent this is like lumping together 
people who die with tattoos 
with people who die due to sepsis following 
having a tattoo done 
the current regulations are  
entirely preparation for the 
Blame Game  
that will emerge in a year or so's time 
journalists and opposition politicians 
have to hold government to account 
but  
was it Bill Shankly who said 
some people think football is 
a matter of life and death 
it's more serious than that 
in that sense 
he was talking in a context where  
many young men had recently died in two world wars 
he was suggesting that if you played for a major team 
it should be expected that your exertions would 
drive you to an early grave 
but for true sporting success you needed 
the wholehearted support of 
entire communities 
when there is no science 
trying things at random is a natural recourse 
BUT 
ignoring the conclusions that those sacrifices bought 
and 
in the words of Harold Wilson 
having a free vote 
and repeatedly having free votes until you
is  
profligate of human life 
there are still influential people 
David Hockney - artist 
who believe that 
a life that does not involve smoking 
is a damaged life 
1 repeating the experiment until 
a majority of scientists are convinced 
2 repeating an experiment until 
all scientists are convinced 
3 repeating an experiment until 
a majority of people are convinced 
4 repeating an experiment until 
all people, everywhere, are convinced 
in preparation for the coming  
blame game 
are we still not 100 per cent convinced that 
CoViD is a 
RESPIRATORY INFECTION? 
and one that is  
in other people 
not in an alien miasma or cloud 
we should note that our impression is that 
pedal cyclists are the  
athletes most likely to die for their team 
 10th September 2020  
Back in the day 
if somebody had an obsession 
it was said that they had a 
kink 
sometimes we feel that the people with a 
coal kink 
should be humoured 
perhaps we should forget thinking of coal as a 
valued asset 
and see it as 
a cancer 
to be cut out 
how much money would the  
coal obsessives be willing to loose 
just to stay muckey? 
once it's gone it's gone 
they can't whinge on about empty coal seams 
and eventually they will not be able to sell the coal 
for a price that doesn't bankrupt them 
not when the easy to get at stuff is gone 
the only reason they can contemplate digging up more coal is 
because they have access to more and more powerful machinery 
That is 
more and more powerful Dinky Toys 
When Coal was King 
surface mining for coal in North East England was 
carried out by a Bucyrus dragline called 
Ace of Spades 
Big Geordie 
Bucyrus Erie 1550W 
Ace of Spades 
8 November 2008 
Once the largest dradline in Europe 
till 
The Ace of Spades was built in 
January 1992 
and habded ove to 
Crouch Mining 
M D Thomas writing a 
 Journal Article in 
Mining Technology 
Journal volume 77 
in July 1995.... 
British Coal opencast (BCO) engaged 
 Harhischfeger P and H in October 1989 to 
 design and manufacture 
construct and erect 
and commission 
a P and h 757 dragline 
a project in total valued at 
15 million pounds 
The machine is now the largest dragline in 
Eurasia 
replacing the previous record-holder 
the Bucyrus Erie 1550W 
Big Geordie 
Ace of Spades operated at 
Stobswood 
Northumberland 
www.earthmovermagazine.co.uk 
Nick Drew, March 2014 
Ace  of Spades weighed 
4,000 tonnes 
four thousand tonnes 
it had a power output of 11,680 killowatts 
in diesel terms that's 
15,690 horse power 
and abucket capacity of 65 
it  moved 300 million tonnes of spoil 
spoil is overburden 
the stuff on top of the coal 
it was retired in 2003 
and went off to a second life in 
The United States of America in 2011 
This sort of machine typically has a crew of 
less than a dozen people 
Banks Mining were licenced to remove 
3.2 three point two million tinnes of coal from 
Shotton 
These people are the 
energy industry equivalent of 
detctorists 
the people who despoil archeological sites 
in serch of trinkets 
The purpose of 
Ace of Spades, when in Northumberland was to  
provide coal to Lynemouth Power Station 
so that it could supply power to 
The Alcan - Aluminium company of Canada - 
Rio Tinto Alcan 
Lynemouth Aluminium Smelter 
and now??? 
Alcan are gone and the powerstation is burning  
biomass to feed the National Grid 
and the shit from the coal diggings is 
being washed out of the cliffs onto the beach 
AND?? 
we suspect that power from the  
Dogger Bank Wind Turbine Array 
will be used to power a,bR>
new aluminium smelter in Redcar 
we have a few very boring pics of 
contractors putting drains into a  
possible site 
near Redcar (British Steel) Railway Station 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 
 
 
  
 7th September 2020  
  
  
It has to be said that platform 2 at Redcar Central station 
The Matchstick Platform 
is a lot shorter than the original, 
still in place without track, 
Platform 2 
and a lot shorter than the in use original Platform 1 
it's about a car and a half short of a six car 
TransPennine Express Train 
BUT IT'S FALLING APART 
rotten to the core 
  
  
We made reference to 
Wright's Tower House 
on Linthorpe Road, Middlesbrough 
what we didn't say was that 
only the corner half of the shop was demolished to 
make way for a 
'stylish new' Macdonald's 
half of it is still there and just being  
slowly eaten by the developer mice 
 
  
Back in the day - the 1960s? 
there was a popular song, well presented 
the 'hook' of which was 
girl 
you'll be a woman soon 
soon you'll need a man 
and it my have been that lyric that inspired the  
catch phrase 
a woman needs a man  
like 
a fish needs a bicycle 
there is a story about a man who was a  
slow learner - as we would say these days 
and as a boy he had been drilled into believing that 
having sex was a bad, bad thing 
and then for whatever reason it was decided that he should be married 
and he was married but he would not consummate the marriage because 
having sex was a bad bad thing 
in the sense of his failure to respond when his new wife said 
we should have sex now 
and this is a day when nobody really considered removing 
pubic hair 
so both had quite luxuriant bush 
and so it was that the wife persuaded the husband that  
it would be a good idea for them to go into the 
tobacco blending business 
we're not going to have sex 
we're just going to blend your tobacco with mine 
a fruit by another name 
is just as sweet 
if you hide sex from children
if you build it up as 
a fate worse than death 
you can give them a 'complex' 
and that can develop into a 
fetish 
a fetish that could be dangerous 
declared and perceived 'sexualities' 
have multiple origins 
in women 
the concept of 
individual distance 
can be significant 
individual distance is the distance from  
somebody else 
at which a person begins to feel uncomfortable 
take two people who come across a person with a compound fracture 
a broken bone with the splinter poking out and bleeding 
one person may not want to be within twenty metres 
of that person 
the other person may be 
magnetically drawn to the scene 
Ricker recalls coming across a  
raw golly 
a featherless chick that had fallen from the nest and died 
Ricker was fascinated 
Edward, the friend he was with, was appalled and dragged 
Ricker away 
there is no sexual element in these cases 
a woman who has been told NEVER to allow a 
man or a boy 
ANYWHERE NEAR HER 
for fear of a  
FATE WORSE THAN DEATH 
and in need of being 
fondled and fucked 
may turn to other women for relief 
Have the people who sought to 
protect her from unwanted pregnancy 
done her a service in the means they have employed? 
it's a simple thing 
cross the road when the green man shows 
don't cross the road when the red man shows 
but if you are too young 
don't cross the road if you are alone 
at what stage is a child safe to  
cross the road alone? 
at what stage is a child safe to be 
fondled? 
Ricker once went on a mission to 
a sink estate in Middlesbrough 
with the  
Tees valley Wildlife Trust 
because somebody had got funding to do a survey of 
water voles 
it was quite interesting 
the two things the children were fixed on 
they were not with their parents 
but the community accepted the Trust people as 
sort of 'supply teachers' people who were safe with their kids 
two things... 
the children would not 
cross a road 
the entertainment involve kite flying 
the little boy declined to take the kite across an  
empty field 
so as to be able to run back to Ricker 
into the wind and get the kite aloft 
and so we have 
territory, home range, and separation anxiety 
all problems with 
personal development 
not, you're too young to do that 
you should NEVER, EVER do that 
and language is so important 
when Eston Grammar School's building was turned over to 
Gillbrook Comp. 
some rats that had been intended for  
dissection by A level students were  
left behind in a prep room freezer 
when the South African dissident Oxbridge graduate 
it was 1977 and his 'mate' Steve Beko had just been killed 
when he found out that there were rats in the freezer 
he insisted on having one thawed out so he could 
dissect it for his class 
in front of his class 
and the kids liked that 
that was OK 
until one of them went home and told the family that 
teacher had  
cut up a real live rat in class 
and the headteacher was met with an 
anti-vivisection delegation 
just that one word embelishment 
live 
rael live 
meaning to the kid 
genuine 
not a picture in a book 
at Cotham in Redcar 
the Grammar School 
bred and killed and dissected rats in A level biology 
harbouring live vermin 
a real no no in Eston 
and that sort of 
deprivation 
is not NOT related to a shortage of money 
  
 
  
There are days when we dive into this code and.... 
It's all getting very complicated 
We remember the day the government announced that 
All schools should achieve 
above average performance 
it was very quickly pointed out that 
however the standard and achievements 
vary 
the average will always be 
higher than half the results and lower than half the results 
However, the media would complain that 
by 2024 all schools must do better than the 2020 average 
is 
a confused message 
back in the day when it was 
politically acceptable for politicians and not just the media to 
regard the populace as utter morons 
there were two simple public health messages 
that we do not hear these days 
Wash your hands before touching food 
Coughs and sneezes spread diseases 
and so 
we don't say 
sanitise your hands as you enter Greggs 
we say, wah your hands incessantly, and eat incessantly 
  
anyhow  
we want to develop this idea of 
management by numerical targets 
this, particularly with regard to 
The Police 
We have heard recently that it has been suggested that 
police should be trained in 
conflict resolution 
Ricker remembers things about being young 
as in the average age of a copper
time was the lads would stand at the urinals and  
compete to see who could  
jack off highest onto the wall above 
The Porcelain 
young men are very adrenaline sensitive 
Here's the problem that targets cause 
in this instance 
The Police are set response time targets on reports of incidents 
coming in from the public 
The police call handlers categorise the calls into 
emergency and non-emergency 
naturally we have to be confused 
in the UK 
999 is for emergencies but 
routine calls are???? 
well we don't know 
they could be 
111 
or they could be 
101 
shrug 
lets stick to 999 
so the handler not the caller chooses emergency or routine 
and so the MANAGEMENT say we want to be judged on 
how quickly we arrive on scene at incidents WE decide are emergencies 
and we don't want anybody expecting us to turn up at all to 
boring reports 
on the other hand 
here is the crux 
the public are not too fussed as to whether a cop car turns up to 
a drunk in the road in 
five minutes 
or  
ten minutes 
but they want the cops to turn up to a burglary 
before the rain washes the finger prints away 
if the cops took a little time to get to scene a few seconds later  
but 
without WITHOUT 
RAISED ADENALINE LEVELS 
a lot of  
death by cop in transit  
and  
on scene 
could be avoided 
and that is not down to better training 
it's down to better 
performance assessment 
  
We thought that since the original web site is  
Redcar based 
we would do a little bit of 
the Secret Life of Redcar 
style history 
back in the day 
during the second world war 
industry was using quite a lot of 
whale oil 
we always forget the dates exact name of the 
the McKewen Bridge on Redcar Trunk Road 
the nanny great thing hiding in plain sight in Redcar is 
Wilton International 
It used to be called  
ICI Wilton 
we need to introduce a product to you 
Fuel Oil 
also known as heavy oil, marine fuel, furnace oil or 
bunker fuel 
it is a fraction obtained from 
petroleum distilation 
the distilation - same as distilling whiskey 
the distilation of crude oil 
as itself it is defined as  
any liquid fuel that can be burned in a furnace or boiler 
to generate heat 
or 
in an engine to generate power 
liquid is a moot point 
ships that run on bunker fuel have to keep it  
heated  
to keep it 
liquid 
it is any oil based fuel that has to be 
at 42 degrees C or 108 degrees F 
in order to catch alight 
it is made of long chain - high molecular weight 
hydrocarbons - molecules made of  
hydrogen and carbon 
mainly alkanes, cycloalkanes and aromatics 
first -over on 
Seal Sands 
they take from the crude oil 
by distillation 
propane, naphtha, gasoline, jet fuel 
then they take 
diesel and lubricating oils 
bunker oil is what is left and is not 
asphalt - road tar 
there's a tunnel under the  
River Tees 
that brings the bunker oil to 
Wilton 
to the Olifin 6 cracker 
in 1973 bunker oil produced 
16.8 per cent of electricity in the US 
not any more 
the burning of natural gas 
mainly methane 
got cheaper and stayed that way 
if these days they ever re-light a  
coal burning power station 
they first warm it up by burning a quantity of 
bunker oil 
number 6 oil 
requires correctly engineered systems for 
storage - could go solid like pitch in a tank 
if not heated 
pumping and burning 
on that scale kerosine is  
number 2 oil 
and number 6 has to be stored at  
38 degrees C 100 degrees F 
and heated to 65 to 120 C 
before it can be pumped 
there is a similar product 
to British Standard 2869 
Class G heavy fuel 
number 6 can contain up to 
3 per cent surphur 
this means if they are shut down 
sulphuric acid is generated  
and rots the guts out 
and that dear friends is why.... 
we keep having  
flaring 
over Wilton 
despite the words of  
SABIC 
they reckon 
Redcar residents' lungs 
are more resistant to sulphuric acid than 
their cracker 
if they can't shift the products 
they can't shut it down 
because sulphuric acid would condense inside 
and wreck it 
so the product - chemical intermediates 
has to be burned off - flared 
 
what the plant aims to do is to 
convert big heavy alkanes 
into cute little 
alkenes 
if we knew what 
7000 kiloPascals of pressure was 
we coud tell you that the plant needs 
high temperature 
high pressure 
and catalysts 
to do it magic 
WHEN it's doing it 
Seal Sands will have 
what they call 
Cat Crackers 
catalytic crackers 
their magic is to turn  
in simple terms 
diesel into synthetic gasoline 
as opposed to gasoline distilate 
Traditionally... Wilton olifin 6 operated at 
750 to 900 degrees C 
in aprocess called 
steam cracking or  
pyrolysis 
at lower temperatures - 500 degrees 
you get needle coke 
used to make electrodes for 
steel and aluminium  
arc furnaces 
 
 
  
we have had instructions from 
The Management 
we have to plug 
mention 
their other web site 
www.gotta.av.it 
Click here for av it 
  
  
we want to do a bit more of the 
uplifting story and 
we include two pictures of the same plant 
taken at different times 
to show that 
the plant is  
actually growing there 
  
brave heart 
uplifting in these difficult times 
Tees Valley, UK  
Good enough for 
Government Work 
  
 4th May 2020  
Here's the plan! 
Whenever we update this file 
the updated version will appear first 
perhaps not by very long 
at 
www.our.st 
Our Street 
the slot in the template 
we have had instructions from 
The Management 
we have to plug 
mention 
their other web site 
www.gotta.av.it 
Click here for av it 
 4th July 2020  
according to paypal 
nobody, absolutely nobody 
has donated one thin dime 
to the support of this web site 
that is interesting 
we should clarify a comment that may appear 
somewhere on this site 
the spat we have had with our ISP 
Internet Service Provider 
is not about content 
it revolves around a very clumsy strategy 
designed to convert contracts from 
manual renewal 
to 
automatic renewal 
so several of our sites are now on 
automatically annually renewable contracts 
just need to keep enough money in the bank 
and not get the card cancelled 
as our Ringtons deliverer said 
when introducing a price rise 
times must be hard 
  
 1st September 2020  
We have this notion 
we propose that all students who 
graduate from 
Oxford University 
and 
Saint Andrew's University in Scotland 
be given the same degree 
it would be a bit like an MBA 
it would be an 
MN 
and that would be 
Master of Networking 
In essence 
people who go to St. Andrews 
are so rich they don't need jobs or skills 
they just need an appropriate other 
Students who go to Oxford 
my need a job but on the basis 
It's not what you know, it's who you know 
there is a dimension of  
Emperor's New Clothes 
about this 
when Oxford gets an  
Ace Blagger 
into the role of Prime Minister 
takes one to know one 
he or she sees through the 
Oxford smoke and mirrors 
and looks for results 
We are not going to research 
Carnegie Mellon University 
beyond saying that it is and has been 
an MIT style institution 
a Technology Institute 
not a  
Con-artists' Conservatoire 
Carnegie spent a lot of money on education 
but not in 
Ivy league universities 
IV is Roman numerals for 4 
don't care what they are called but they are 
the US equivalent of 
Oxbridge - Oxford and Cambridge 
Carnegie spent money on 
library services but not so much on 
library buildings 
he paid for 
music lessons - not  church organs 
and he gave money to schools if they 
cut their links with religion 
sometimes there is reference to 
The University of Life 
Carnegie saw a distinction 
he promoted  
learning 
learning of knowledge and skills 
he did not promote 
a Teenage Freemasonry 
he was interested in, shall we say 
wealth creation 
not 
wealth concentration 
 
in a sense universities began by  
providing a staycation alternative to 
The Grand Tour 
for lower tier gentry 
but they branched out into  
training priests and training lawyers 
the training of  
barristers 
the majority of people who have been 
granted audience in  
Her Majesty's Courts of Law 
the training of barristers is in two parts 
The academic and the vocational 
during the vocational section  
a candidate must 
' attend qualifying sessions with their  
Inn of Court 
These are professional development events of 
an educational and collegiate nature 
which are arranged by or on behalf of the Inn 
our Ricker has forgotten the term 
and it is no longer published 
but the essence is 
You have to attend and eat a minimum number of 
Evening Meals 
within the confines of your Inn 
Eating in Hall 
in uni terms 
not having done that is why Ricker has a lower class of degree 
it's about  
Networking 
a working barrister wants to stand up in court 
and think 
that person representing the opposition 
the defence to my prossecution 
the prosecution to my defence 
I've seen him with soup down his front and 
roaring drunk 
that makes me feel less nervous 
 
but what can you say about the universities of today? 
a government does not see a steelworks as 
a source of steel 
they see it as a source of National Pride 
they see it as a source of JOBS 
if you can walk you can sign on at the steel works 
if you can't walk, you can sign on at the university 
priority number one for universities is 
provide sheltered employment for 
the vulnerable 
Those who can, do 
those who can't, teach 
most people are probably aware that court cases come in  
degrees of importance 
different grades of judges 
without too much detail 
all the different styles of court proceedings can 
be divided into two layers 
those where the sides can be represented by 
a barrister 
and those where the sides must be represented by 
a legal team lead by a QC 
a QC is a Queen's Counsel 
he or she is really there to represent 
The Queen 
long long long ago 
they would have been 
King's Counsel 
and one day will be again, one day 
there are therefore two stages in advancement 
being called to the bar 
stage one a being granted audience 
stage 2 
taking silk 
becoming a QC 
in one sense 
if you show good judgement but 
do not advocate well for your client 
you may be seen as more like a candidate for 
The Bench 
stop making arguments and start making judgements 
become a judge 
this entire system depends on the availability of 
recognised 
expert witnesses 
witness for the defence 
witness for the prosecution 
witness for the court 
all the professional participants 
have a primary responsibility to 
The Court 
and hence to 
The Crown or 
The People 
and here is the deal 
hearsay evidence is not allowed in court 
witnesses must confine themselves to 
what they learned - observed, heard, etc., 
when they were there 
not what they have heard since 
or concluded 
The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth 
this clearly does not apply to 
expert witnesses  
because 
if they were there they would be  
witnesses 
not 
expert witnesses 
an expert witness is allowed to address the court 
without being a barrister but 
only in the form of answers to questions from 
barristers 
and judges 
who are by definition barristers 
this is intended to bring 
clarity and speed of action to court proceedings 
it often does not work out that way because 
expert witnesses often do not get an opportunity to 
have a quiet word with 
advocates 
and another thing 
in a lot of proceedings 
the roles of 
interpreter 
and  
expert witness can get blurred 
in an important case with large legal teams 
what the interpreter is doing could be checked 
but not in low rent proceedings 
it is  - in the UK - not all that long since  
the two sides - defence and prosecution 
had to disclose the essence of their case to the opposition 
a lot of cases used to hinge on an ambush 
dramatic but not just 
BR>
the whole 'networking thing' took on a very different character when 
socials intended to help people feel their way in the profession 
got mixed up with 
socials intended to help people feel their way around 
potential life partners 
 
 
  
recently our Ricker had the opportunity to visit 
Middlesbrough 
he noted a couple of things related to recent entires below
Teesside Magistrates Court has been re-named along the lines of 
Teesside Justice Centre 
what ricker noted was that the concrete walls of the building 
have what some call an 
exposed agregate surface finnish 
and the rock chippings exposed are
not the sandstone of the Town Hall 
he also noticed that the two recently completed office blocks near  
the Town Hall are faces in  
white bricks 
and although the buildings do not have  
'public names' 
one is designated 
Central Buildings 
and the other  
Peacock House 
white bricks... Peacock Buildings 
has the architect built a couple of 
tributes to the 
Pease Family? 
by the by 
we did mention 
The Owners of The Middlesbrough Estate 
the people who laid out the structure of Middlesbrough 
they were a group of 
Quaker Business people 
and finally 
Ricker brought back some pics of the state outside 
Teesside Crown Court 
  
  
 
  
when people talk about  
financial services 
often they are talking about 
Insurance 
a lot of what drives commercial activuty is 
big compensation pay outs encourage organisations to 
take out more and more cover 
and in many ways the courts work as follows 
the defendant says 
I have been planting bulbs in gardens for  
twenty years 
I always plant them pointy end downwards 
but because I have been doing this for twenty years 
I am a world authority on bulb planting 
those other people who buy bulbs and get 
fabulous floral displays must either be 
paying a lot of money for their bulbs 
or they must be planting 
mutant Frankenstein bulbs 
 and they will be wildly unsafe 
 24th August 2020  
The universal - university - fuckwits 
have driven us to the  
outer edges of the universe with this one 
beyond the book of words  
beyond the big book of words 
beyond Google 
We have had recourse to  
The Big Big Big book of words 
break out the  
oxford English Dictionary 
Fomes 
plural fomites 
Latin - fomes - fomitis 
touchwood - tinder 
the morbic matter of a disease 
any porous substance capable of 
absorbing and retaining 
contagious effluvia 
we are back to the trendies  
yer modern classic version of 
fomic transmission is 
sour dough starter 
1899 R F Burton 
Journal of the Geographical Society 
This must be an efficatious fomite for 
cutaneous and pectoral disease 
rare - an incorrect back formation from 
fomites 
the whole idea here is 
you get a droplet or series of droplets 
of a yeasty substance that lodges in a porous surface 
textiles, paper, natural equivalents 
and for a while all is well as the yeast lives off the 
sugars carried with it in the splash droplet 
there are two viable means of 
survival 
food supplies last until, say, rain 
washes the organism to a better place 
the organism goes into 
suspended animation - spore, etc 
fomic transmission does not apply 
if the droplet does not contain a food supply 
water etc 
or 
the organism is incapable of spore formation 
that s to say 
it is not fomic transmission if neither of these apply 
 
  
sand 
and our thoughts turned to 
pumice 
it's all about like the way the manufacturers make 
glass wool insulation 
they just spray molten glass into ? 
swirling blasts of cooling air 
the lava erupts into relatively cold and wet air 
and kind of shatters as it solidifies 
so we have three basic types of sand 
the stuff that forms during the eruption 
the stuff that is broken up layers of the shells of 
sea snails and the like 
and the special variant on that 
coral sand 
broken up coral reef 
weathering comes into this at a very minor and later stage 
pressure compacts sand into layers and you get 
sandstone and limestone 
and you can build with that 
especially if you haven't yet invented 
cement and concrete 
but  
sandstone and limestone are much more vulnerable to 
weathering - freeze thaw, water flow, etc 
that lava that sort of oozed out and set in big blocks 
 
  
we think we need to say something about  
three things that need to be distinguished 
a pathogen 
a vector 
a spore 
pathogens are things that 
generate pathology in a patient 
and pathology is pathos 
a sad situation 
some schools of medical knowledge divide  
conditions and situations into 
pathological and physiological 
pathological - something gone wrong 
physiological - all quiet on the Western Front 
we're gonna just slip this in here 
The British fought the  
First Boer War because 
Dutch settlers were denying  
First Nation South Africans 
equal constitutional rights and 
also discriminating against other settlers of 
British origin 
it was the Second Boer War that was sparked by 
the discovery of diamonds 
back to the medicine 
religions are strongest where - so to say 
intellects are weakest 
lots of deprived people can be characterised as being 
chippy 
they get a chip on their shoulder 
they tend to thnk that 
people who don't worshi with them 
even if they nominally share the same religion 
are trying to 
undermine their religious faith 
getting at them 
on account of their religion 
we will therefore reference The French 
in 1916 
not long before the Great 'Flu Epidemic 
there was a row in France 
Somebody figured out that 
a major line of transmission of 
typhoid 
was 
that all sorts of people 
but especially sick people 
would flock to a  
Bishop 
and scramble to 
kiss his ring 
mouth to mouth contamination 
we have said before  
apart from fungi 
very few pathogens can survive outside a living host 
for very long 
there are two ways a pathogen can endure over time 
it can reproduce - resetting its life cycle to zero 
and that requires a host - to feed on 
some can use method two 
in bad times  
many fungi and a few bacteria sucha as tetanus 
can form spores 
we have also said that 
one a spore - you need a wound to  
essentially digest the wall of the tin can 
you have holed yourself up in 
Trogen Horse style 
and even in your tin can 
although you don't 'live' and so you don't need 
food and oxygen 
your tin can can rust away if you are not kept 
moist - in soil or amimal excrament 
what we are getting around to is this concept of< R>
fomites 
at this point we move back from  
CoViD19 to tuberculosis 
To quote the book of words 
In developed countries 
human TB occurs almost exclusively from 
inhalation of organisms 
dispersed as droplet nuclei from a person with 
pulmonary - lung - TB 
whose sputum smear is positive 
M.- that's mycobacterium, part bacterium, part fungus 
M. tuberculosis may float in the air for several hours 
thus increasing the chance of spread 
fomites appear to play no role n their spread 
the whole thing is exactly the same 
as CoViD 
the young repelling the pathogen despite contamination 
the elderly copping it 
BAME folk being less resistant 
the whole nine yards 
and so to 
vectors 
and the associated group 
intermediate hosts 
you have malaria 
you can't give another person malaria 
you can give malaria to a mosquito 
that mosquito can gice malaria to another human 
you can isolate people who have malaria 
or you can exterminate the mosquitoes 
but you have to isolate the affected patients 
FROM mosquitoes - not people 
sometimes social distancing won't work 
there appears to be no intermediate host involved in 
CoViD19 
the virus does not appear to get into  
blood meals taken during insect bites 
if it does it would expalain spread without 
human contact 
and Scotland with its midge plagues 
would be the first place we would expect to see that 
17th August 2020  
We think the story of 
Grey Towers, Nunthorpe 
is a bit more interesting 
Grey Towers was built for 
William Randolf Innes Hopkins 
between 1865 and 1867 
and it was a bit odd 
and we have a link here 
It was designed by John Ross a 
 Darlington desgner who also used 
help from  
Edward William Godwin 
The building is faced with blue flint stone 
said 
The Builder 
at the time 
BUT 
we believe that it was actually faced with 
whin stone 
from the Teesdale quarries that 
were the basis of the< BR>
quarrying arm of George Hodsman's business 
the quarry that was active at amalgamation with Hargreaves in 1963 
was and is 
High Force 
but there were also 
Force Garth 
and 
Bow Leas 
and this name Bow Leas... 
You know that the late 
Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother 
was before marriage 
Elizabeth Bowes Lyon 
so we get 
Bows as in pretty pink bows 
and not bows as in the prow of a ship 
or Bose 
The thing is... 
Hodsmans took over quarrying the Whin Cill 
when it was no longer to quarry or mine it for lead 
and  
The London Lead Company  
shut up shop 
any road up 
The most interesting thing about Grey Towers is that 
Hopkins went bust  
BECAUSE 
his company 
LLoyd and Co, Hopkins, Gilkes and Company 
of Teesside 
provided the ironworks for 
The Tay Bridge 
the one that blew away and killed a train full of punters 
Now then there will have been a 
Hustler School in Middlesbrough 
because 
Hopkins' brother-in-law was 
William Thomas Hustler  
of 
Acklam Hall 
and he bought up the mortgage on Grey Towers 
bought it for family honour not use 
it stood empty from 
1879 until Authur Dorman bought it in 1895 
and the second baronet or whoever inherited in 1931 
sold it to a Middlesbrough JEWELLER called 
T Gibson Poole 
who had been born in Dudley 
This place had 30 bedrooms.... 
and Poole wasn't interested in them 
he - being mayor of Middlesbrough 
bought it to  
give to the town as a 
sanitarium  
so people with tuberculosis 
could have their beds shoved out into the gardens 
in 1942 the TB problem had got so bad that 
the 30 bedroom house was converted to offices to administer 
a santorium built in the grounds 
Middlesbrough's in 20th century 
Nightingale 
and when the NHS finally got a grip on TB 
it stood empty until it was 
re-done as  
condos - condominiums 
flats, apartments round the year 2000 
see Bowlees Cottages .com 
Bowlees Visitor Centre 
This is Durham 
visitbowlees.org.uk 
On the other hand 
in another part of the wood... 
Bowes Museum 
and that is bows as in pretty pink bows 
cos it was built by 
John Bowes 
art collector 
born London 1811 
died Streatlam County Durham 
1885 
the museum he built and left to 
The Nation or some such 
contains within its French Chatteau walls 
El Greco, Francisco goya, Canaletto, Fragonard, Boucher 
and the famous automata 
the fishing silver swan 
not that real swans eat fish 
it's in Barny 
Barnard Castle 
and the castle and half of Upper Teesdale 
belong to 
Lord Barnard 
doesn't stop the locals calling the town 
Barn ad castle 
or Barney 
but 
if you are called 
Bowes 
and you fancy building a chatteau up north 
wouldn't you be attracted to a village called 
Bows 
we've had a change of 
Lord Barnard 
but the one incharge in the 1960s..... 
the estate is probably called  
The Raisby estate 
and The Raisby Estate has mineral rights in 
Upper Teesdale 
it has the rights to all that lovely yellow sand on the  
beaches between Redka - Redcar - and Sandsend 
on the North Yorkshire coast 
but only BEFORE the River Tees washes it off the estate 
and so 
local authorities used to by 
whin stone and slag to make up roads 
Lord Barnard  persuaded the authorities to  
change the s[ecifications so that 
his sandstone could be used for building and road foundations 
soft as shit and you can collect it with a  
kiddies bucket and spade 
you have to blast for whin 
potholes? 
built on Raisby sand 
The Whin Sill or Great Whin Sill is 
a tabular layer of the igneous rock dolerite in 
County Durham, Northumbria and Cumbria 
it is the foundation of 
High Force Waterfall 
on the River Tees 
 and those castly things 
Lindisfarne, Dunstanborough, and Bamborough 
and a little thing called 
Hadrian's Wall 
The Little Whin Sill is in Weardale 
we sometimes get in a bit deep 
we like this story about the whin sill 
the idea is that this was so much more than a 
volcanic eruption 
this was hundreds of square miles of land covered in 
lava 
you see pictures of the expansion of 
volcanic islands and the red hot lava 
turns instantly black as it hits water 
the theory of the 
Great Whin Sill 
is that it took thirty years to cool 
and in the process it turned the 
limestone 
it settled near 
into 
sugar limestone 
this is where our geography lets us down 
this effect is northern as we said 
but we know about clints and grikes 
we know about 
limestone pavement 
natural limestone that has fractured in a way 
that it looks like humans laid it 
and the problem is 
so far as we know the sand on 
the beaches of North Yorkshire is 
not ground up limestone 
but 
ground up volcano stuff 
Hodsmans did quarry sandstone 
down south in a place called 
Spaunton 
and when we say down south we mean 
near Pickering in North Yorkshire 
in conclusion 
we suspect that when the Great Whin Sill was formed 
the heat it brought 
fractured both the carbonferous limestone and the 
igneous rocks from previous eruptions 
and so we get pockets of what may be called 
rotten granite 
granite all busted to pieces by the heat from 
more recent eruptions 
but we are afair way out of our depth here 
rottn granite is also called 
more politely 
decomposed granite 
in the literture it is said to have been 
weathered 
but we thnk this 
heat from huge pools of lava  
makes a lot more sense 
 
Although there is a castle in 
Barnard Castle 
the main 'home' of Lord Barnard is or was 
Raby castle 
and the estate is called the Raby Estate 
and how the quarry company came to be called 
Raisby 
we don't know 
but it no longer exists in that form 
  
Oh we have a fresh little gem of the 
Dorman Variety 
we are not going to copy out the results of our 
latest researches but a couple of things stand out 
as at around 2011 
the 4th Baronet Dorman of Nunthorpe 
was still alive 
was a tax accountant 
and had a daughter who was born in 1984 
and so unless the law changes and she becomes 
a dame 
it look like the baronetcy will died out one day soon 
However, much more interestingly 
aside from most of these baronets being 
lawyers and accountants - not industrialists 
The third baronet was at and graduated from 
Brasenose College, Oxford 
1941 - 42 
and  
that would be around the time 
Tommy's smartest son 
Peter 
graduated from  
Brasenose College, Oxford 
quelle surprise 
 10th August 2020  
We're gonna kick Tommy Wopson 
What his first girlfriend Milcie Sinton called him 
firstly we have learned the difference between 
a knight and a baronet 
if you are made a knight you are title 
Sir Joe Bloggs 
later we may return to 
Tommy Atkins as the British Army equivalent of Joe Bloggs 
Sir Joe Bloggs and the current Mrs Bloggs - Lady Bloggs 
end of 
if however you are a baronet 
you are 
Sir Joe Bloggs bart 
and the kicker 
the eldest of your sons to outlive you 
gets to be 
Sir James Bloggs bart 
and so on 
in that sense somebody made a baronet 
is seen as somebody founding a dynasty 
with descendents expected to keep up the cause 
thus 
if you win an Olympic medal or write an important book 
you could get a knighthood 
if you found a massive industrial conglomerate 
you could be made a baronet to encourage the family 
not to sell out when you die 
and so 
Arthur Dorman 
made a baronet but that's just a hereditary knighthood 
not Lord Dorman, not in the House of Lords 
Sir Arthur Dorman's father was a 
courrier in the leather trade, in London ish 
so nice try but no cigar, no seat on the red leather benches  
we are now on the third of fourth  
Sir younamehim Dorman bart 
never heard a peep out of any of them 
except the first 
we return to Tommy 
Tommy's dad cme down from Low Houslop Farm near 
Woolsingham in county Durham 
and he and another lad called John Ord 
got jobs as farm lads on the  
Grey Towers Estate 
later known for a while as 
Pool Hospital 
around about the time Tommy is in France 
Arthur Dorman is buying the Grey towers estate at 
Nunthorpe 
new money 
not at all well established  
and by now John Ord and William Robson 
have get well established on 
Home Farm 
but now William Robson is just a frequent visitor because 
he has upped and gone to work for 
The Diamond Boring Company
at Port Clarence 
where one 
Don Revie is his boss 
and where ownership of this 
salt works has passed from the American Diamond Boring Company to 
The United Alkali Company 
and Donnie's son Donnie his working for William Robson 
and one of William's sons Tommy 
is visiting Home Farm and Grey Towers as a guest 
and Tommy marries on of John Ord's daughters - Bessie 
but that is a little later 
Tommy is officially 
Tom baker Robson 
to distinguish him from his elder half brother 
Thomas Robson 
and he marries Elizabeth Ord in 1923 
and after failing to get his  
battle-field commission regularised... 
where does he go to work? 
at Hodsmans who are... 
reclaiming the Bell Brothers Ironworks site that 
Arthur Dorman has just bought 
did Tommy fail to remain in the army? 
or did Arthur Dorman say 
to the army 
I need him back here, your war is over 
in 1866 Arthur Dorman was apprenticed to an ironmaker in 
Stockton-on-Tees 
we're gonna slip in something about  
Tees 
whilst we remember 
there is not and never has been a 
Tees Valley Borough Council 
There is and has long been a 
Test Valley Borough Council 
the River Test is in Hampshire 
our Ricker was at a conference once and there was some contention 
as to why The Tees had two delegations in attendance 
turns out, one of the delegations was a lone woman 
representing the River Test 
where the water cress comes from 
Arthur Dorman did not have the sort of  
apprenticeship in the iron and steel industry 
you may imagine 
at the end of it in 1873, he set up on his own as a 
Metal Broker 
In 1876 he teamed up with 
wait for it 
Albert de Lande Long 
1844 - 1917 
and they bought  
West Marsh Ironworks in Middlesbrough 
by 1901 they  employed 3,000 people and 
produced 180,000 tins of steel a year 
when dear old Arthur bought out Bell brothers in 1902 
he gained strategic control of the 
coking coal producing collieries of 
Brancepeth, Brownley and Tursdale 
ad during World War 1 
Dorman Long became one of 
Britain's leading manufacturers of 
artillery shells 
and so it was in 1917 that Dorman Long opened 
Redcar Steelworks 
In 1929 Dormans bought 
Bolckow and Vaughan 
two years before Arthur died in Grey towers in Nunthorpe 
The knighthood was 1918 
and the bart came in 1923 
we always think of 
BART when we hear bart 
Bay Area Rapid Transit 
somewhere in California 
all these 
Tyneside Tossers 
rabbiting on about 
Armstrong making guns on the Tyne Scotswood 
nothing to fire from them without Dormans 
it's hard to think why a bloke living in Nunthorpe 
with a steelworks in Redcar 
built a museum in memory of his son who died 
during the Boer War - not in action 
typhoid 
in Middlesbrough 
you see this is where we get let down by 
research
recollections 
we have no idea what a currier did in the leather trade 
it came after tanning 
it was about stretching, polishing, colouring etc. leather 
between tanning and aking into items 
but it may have been quite smelly 
the lad Arthur was educated at 
Christ's Hospital School in London 
and he didn't have an apprenticeship in Stockton-on-Tees 
it was at Richardson, Johnson and Company 
at their rolling mills in 
Thornaby on Tees 
sarth of the riva 
at grey Towers from 
1895 to 1931 
if we were really really desperate to find something to do we would 
find out exactly what the 
Gilchrist-Thomas Process was 
and how it differed from  
The Bessemer Process 
note differed FROM 
not differed TO 
as in yellow is different to orange 
it could be that  
Gilchrist-Thomas is about ironmaking 
we know the Bessemer Process was about 
making steel from iron 
and so Dormans bought the Britannia Ironworks in Middlesbrough 
and set up to use the new method that had been originally demonstrated 
on the Bolckow and Vaughan site 
agh no! we bin caught out again 
poor poor knowledge 
we have banged on about Lackenby and its 
BOS Plant 
every now and again another piece of the jig-saw 
falls into place 
we said - honest we did, months or years ago 
the iron ore from the  
Eston Hills  
was shipped by rail from 
Eston to the Durham coal field -  
Consett Iron Works 
and then they reversed and brought the coal to the ironstone mines 
and we said that they had to blend ironstone from the  
dark side 
the west coast - Workington 
with the ironstone from Eston 
because there was too much 
phosphorous 
in Eston Ironstone 
Bessemer 
used an air lance to control the carbon content of steel 
Gilchrist-Thomas used a basic - not acidic - liner in the 
Bessemer converter to remove the phosphorous 
and later on some Swiss or Austrian chaps 
used oxygen instead of Bessemer's air 
to speed up the process from a day or two 
to half an hour 
to give you 
BOS Plant 
Basic Oxygen Steelmaker 
It's not entirely clear but 
it seems that 
alkali is used for liquids 
and basic is used for solids the likes of rocks  
  
back in whenever, the days of monochrome TV - probably 
there was an interesting bloke on the box 
probably BBC 2 
was BBC 2 polychrome 
maybe BBC TV had a sort of 
late night high brow slot in monochrome... 
This bloke was called 
John Julius Norwich 
he was an aristocrat and an art historian 
we mention him only because his name was 
Norwich as current toffs use Wales as a surname 
over time but especially during the 
Second World War and the following National Service 
letters home from the front 
or wherever the troops were located 
away from their loved ones 
would often be signed off 
NORWICH 
my secret love's no secret any more... 
so commonplace that it hardly qualified as a coded message 
mere shorthand 
NORWICH stood for 
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home 
and what it indicates is that with so many men 
away from home so much of the time 
and the time when they were together with their wives 
and girlfriends 
being so short and decided by the military and other employers 
lots of women had to have sex 
at the wrong time of the month 
or have no sex at all 
this had been fairly standard for toffs who - the men 
had almost all been in the military 
in the 20th century it became more widespread for other ranks 
and thus an irrepressible surge of gay men 
who had to come out because they were so numerous 
and being gay had to be legalised 
it would be interesting to contrast 
stats for being gay in men born 
in the early to mid 20th century 
with the proportion in men born after National Service ended 
and so we have the aristocratic 
fop 
or 
dandy 
and Tommy's Earl of Essex seemed to fit that category 
he had been a lieutenant in the Hussars 
before becoming a temporary Captain in the Remount Service 
what we know about him was that 
after the peace was signed in 1918 or whenever 
Tommy had 
Retained 
stamped in his pay book 
and Tommy switched from being 
Radar O'Reiley to 
Lt.Col. Yardley 
to being ADC to The Earl of Essex 
at this point we have to admit to owning a picture of Tommy at the time 
looking rather foppish 
what we do know is that The Earl of Essex - that one, Tommy's 
was for ever after 
well into  
amateur dramatics 
Tommy had three things to say about his post war service 
whilst retained 
the official purpose of his retention was to help with 
reparations 
Tommy was a renowned 
horse whisperer 
a world class judge of the value of horses 
he and The Earl 
toured France 
valuing all the horses 
and requiring all the 'keepers' 
to buy them from  
The British Army 
all were assumed to be escaped military stock 
at this time The Earl was married for the first of 
4 times 
and it was a part of Tommy's duties to 
select suitable  
chargers 
that the keepers could not afford to buy 
for the earl and his lady - not necessarily his wife 
to ride around the countryside on 
 the third Tommy duty was 
to man the piano that the troop carted around with them 
on their merry way 
essentially - and not necessarily entirely after 
the armistice - peace 
The Earl and Tommy were the core of a pre-cursor to 
ENSA 
Entertainment National Service Association 
or 
Every Night Something Awful 
the circuses part of the  
Bread and Circuses 
NAAFI 
Navy Army and Air Force Institute 
so we have Tommy living the real life 
M*A*S*H 
and the real life 
It Ain't 'arf Hot Mum 
Mobile Army Surgical Hospital 
but with vets and horses 
there is a very interesting point under this 
why was there 'confusion' about the ownership of horses 
was the 
Broad Arrow 
simply clipped into their coats and not branded? 
or did their coats grow over the brands 
or was it simple reparation - taxing the French for 
liberating them? 
and the question of aristoes having multiple wives and  
insufficient, legitimate, male heirs 
never quite found the time to stuff their wives at 
an appropriate moment 
and all that stuff - still dominant today about 
gay men not troubling their wives much 
and gay men deciding what women want 
to justify their own disinterest 
 
 
  
You will know by now that our Ricker is 
very very old and did most of the things he has done 
a long time ago 
Ricker watches  
Have I got News for You 
he does not subscribe to or read 
Private Eye 
so he knows about a chap called 
Ian Hislop 
Ian Hislop has some sort of relationship with 
the satirical magazine, Private Eye 
Back in the days of monochrome TV 
when our Ricker lived and worked in London 
to him there were two book shops in London 
The Modern Book Company 
and  
Foyles 
one day Ricker was walking towards Foyles 
without any particular intention to go in 
and a man almost burst out of Foyles 
and walked towards Ricker as though he recognised him 
Ricker definitely recognised  
this other Richard - Ingrams - who had such a look of his own brother 
Gordon 
That Richard was the second editor? of Private Eye 
Private Eye founded by Christopher? Booker and Wille Rushton 
all very Shrewsbury 
and our Ricker has a feeling that that Richard  
bequeathed Private Eye to Ian Hislop 
because he believed him  
too lazy to bother to change it 
and so it appears to have proved 
Ian Hislop's version of satire is  
indiscriminate 
the point with Hislop is  
don't let the character of your victim 
get in the way of a good joke 
the laugh is the alpha and omega 
the beginning and the end 
and this is in concert with the journalism of 
don't let the facts get in the way of a good story 
and so quite a few people have successfully sued Private Eye 
and Hislop has a sort of autistic 
but I made people laugh 
response to error that devalues any  
well targeted barbs 
and so to the seed for this particular musing 
it does not matter what the facts are we will talk of 
Harry Hyams 
In Ricker's mind there is some sort of link between 
Foyles and Charing Cross Road and Centre Point 
There was a road junction in east central London 
that was very congested 
and the London County Council wanted to widen the road 
and improve the junction but 
at the time for some reason they did not appear to have the 
compulsory purchase powers needed to take over and demolish 
the properties in the vicinity 
and so they did a deal with the property developer 
perhaps he was Harry Hyams 
for the surface rights to the land in exchange for the 
aerial rights to the same spot 
we have to assume that although the council could have  
bought the land 
the courts and arbitration services would have set 
an astronomical value on the site 
and so the deal was struck 
we will build our traffic island at ground level 
and you can build anything you like 
on top of it 
and he built 
Centre Point 
 it shows the complexity of our Ricker's mind 
that he sees Centre Point as a physical manifestation of the 
Private Eye column 
Pseud's Corner 
for some reason he cannot recall Ricker found himself a student 
at Sunderland Polytechnic with two of the same tutors he had had at  
Durham University 
one was known as George 
because he was Greek and he had an impossibly long name 
they had been demonstrators at Durham and got  
more senior, more permanent jobs at Sunderland 
demonstrators are generally Ph.D. students 
and Ricker's former Durham tutors when at Sunderland 
described Ricker's essays as 
pithy 
short and to the point, not pseud 
Ricker regards everything to do with London as  
pseud 
and as he has said before 
people in London think they are 
God's gift to humanity because they are 
IN London 
not because they are FROM London 
and so how will this affect people who are rarely in London and 
today I shall mostly be  
being in Guildford 
a little while after Ricker stopped working in London 
he get a 'phone call from a chap you actually said 
Hi, I'm ringing you from London 
like? on behalf of London? 
the gist of his spiel seemed to be 
what chance do you have of hearing 
Ella Fitzgerald sing live 
if you don't come back to London? 
well actually almost all the people he listed were 
as Ricker told him 
on 
Later with Joules Holland 
at the time 
before he got into 
thrash 
it brings us to another issue 
the first boss of the BBC  
the DG or whatever - not Lord Reith 
never listened to the wireless 
but he struck up a relationship with the  
porter or station master at his local commuter station 
and he would ask him each morning 
what did you think of last night's entertainment? 
and armed with this 
vox pop 
he would wander into work and appear to  
have his finger on the pulse 
how many Cabinet Ministers today 
'phone of text their childhood nanny 
and ask for direction on ongoing government policy? 
being  
down with the people 
and  
popular 
is the stock in trade 
of the oligarch 
in a modern democracy  
  
Some people may remember the  
Burt Bacharach and Hal David song 
The Look of Love 
it came from a movie called 
 critic - Donald Zee - described it as 
based on a novel by Ian Flemming 
and so the head of MI6 has 
Sir James Bond's retirement 
bombed flat by the RAF 
to force him out of retirement to fight 
SMERSH 
1967 film 
David Niven as Bond 
 not a Cubby Brocccoli production 
we understand Barbara Broccoli 
tried to bury it with a re-make 
possibly involving Tintin 
anyway... 
deal or no deal? 
Ricker says to himself 
all I want to know is 
where do they want me to work? 
I then walk into the nearest Estate Agents 
as the price of a house just like mine in Redcar 
then to the bank or building society and 
what wages do I need to raise that mortgage? 
That's what you pay me 
we don't do London Weighting 
was the flat reply 
London is the place to go when you have money to burn 
or launder 
not the place to 
make your fortune 
or even to serve mankind 
To Serve Mankind 
is the motto of 
The City of London University 
whether or not the song was in his mind 
Elton John's 
Yellow Brick Road summed up Ricker's reaction to 
the opportunity to retire in his mid-thirties 
maybe you'll get a replacement 
there's many out there to be found 
 mongrels who ain't got a penny... 
Ricker's dad worked for 
The Earl of Essex 
at the end of the First World War 
and was invited to go to his estate to continue  
this work 
at some point when Ricker was a teenager 
and his half sister had her elder boy in a pram 
there was a family trip to a country village called 
something like  
Lillingstone 
not to be confused with  
Lullingstone, Roman Villa 
to see what Tommy had turned down on the grounds that 
it would be a secure job but with  
no prospects 
The 7th Earl of Essex served as a  
Temporary Captain in the 
Army Remount Service 
alongside Ricker's dad Tommy 
and the estate fell into ruin 
perhaps it would not have done so if 
Tommy had taken up the offer 
and the 8th Earl took up farming in Buckinghamshire 
and Tommy went home to Teesside and helped run 
Hodsmans 
a quarrying and roadstone company 
that was sold out to 
Hargreaves Quarries 
later part of RMC 
Ready Mixed Concrete 
The 7th earl became Earl in 1916 
after his father was run over by a taxi cab 
Tommy's Earl of Essex died in 1966 
and Tommy died in around 1979 
 
do a science degree and come to London 
live in a garret and fawn over 
oligarchs 
or 
set up a business selling 
party favours 
and live to see your daughter become 
Queen of England 
the route to the top is 
sell something really cheap that everybody buys 
and buys over and over again 
and take a tiny royalty from every sale 
the classic example 
the Tetrapac cardboard carton 
there's an amazing bloke who owns 
shed loads of classic cars 
who made his money from selling  
little dispensers that issue 
numbered tickets 
so that people can join a queue 
and then mill around and not loose their place 
in the queue, just wait for their number to be called 
laws intended to inspire the next  
light bulb moment 
create billionaires from daft little ideas 
a chap called Lodge 
didn't patent the  
spark plug 
strangely, although the likes of 
Marconi 
get the legal rights to a lot of Lodge's developments 
Lodge seemed to live quite a contented life 
perhaps, being 'famous' for having his 
thunder stolen because somebody whom he had 
bounced an idea off 
sought peer review from 
published whilst he was on holiday 
actually was a pioneer of 
Work-Life Balance 
that difference between being 
gifted 
and being 
driven   
 
  
Once upon a time our Ricker had a meeting with 
the CPRE 
they have changed their name but it used to stand for 
Committee for the Protection of Rural England 
The gist of what they were saying was 
we don't want any more Rural New Towns 
the likes of Harlow and Milton Keynes 
we want more new Towns on the fringes of 
Heavy Industry 
the likes of 
Redcar and Billingham 
and the scientists say 
now new housing within 4 kilometers of the likes of 
Olifin 6 
and the CPRE have more votes than the scientists 
like a dog returning to its vomit we return to 
Nitram and pril 
the Ammonium Nitrate involved in the Lebanon explosion was 
impounded due to a safety risk 
it was made in the Southern United States and headed for  
Africa 
it is in a sense a two stage process making ammonium nitrate fertilizer 
first you make ammonium nitrate 
then you turn it into pril or is that prill? 
if you buy table salt you will see an 
anti caking agent declared 
the explosion in Lebanon happened in the early evening 
we do not know what happened 
what we can accept as a first working hypothesis is 
the ammonium nitrate was impounded because it was in a damgerous state 
because it had not been converted into pril 
 this would have caused it to cake 
to set into a huge uneven block 
the most likely happening is that 
somebody stayed back late at work and 
took a jack hammer or JCB 
to the lump 
hoping to break some off to sell 
on the monochrome market 
you do not 
YOU DO NOT 
need to add anything to ammonium nitrate to get it to explode 
you simply have to  
detonate it 
apply a short sharp shock to a lump as opposed to a  
slidy all over heap like a pile of really dry rice 
that is Nitram 
and Nitram is made in  
Billingham on Teesside 
and the thing that makes  
ammonium nitrate into Nitram 
is the pril tower that stands on the north approaches to the 
Newport Bridge 
we could tell you how to turn Nitram into ammonium nitrate 
but we ain't going to  
 3rd August 2020  
we thought we would leave the stats a week 
so we have the number of positive tests for 
22 July and followed by 29th July 
Redcar and Cleveland 705 706 
Middlesbrough 963   968 
North Yorkshire 2,545   2,562 
Stockton on Tees 970    980 
Sunderland 1,777  1,781 
Hartlepool 600 611 
Darlington 606 609 
Durham County 3,338 3,355 
Surrey Heath 433 436 
< BR>
  
if you've been reading this blog during the 
epidemic or pandemic 
you may have thought Ricker was getting frustrated 
that people are not reading the textbooks 
here we have to move from the textbooks 
or at least away from medical textbooks 
you know those weather stories about  
hail stones the size of golf balls 
they say that snowflakes grow from tiny seeds 
they do that artificially on some ski slopes 
the thing #we' have learned about this virus 
and perhaps many viruses - this being to some extent 
the first virus to get so much scrutiny 
they say that those big hail stones get big because 
the wind and such moves them up and down in cold wet  
damp, humid 
air 
and they layer up 
as we understand it 
the more humid the air 
the less humid the air  
the lower the rate of virus transmission 
we said before that there is a balance 
did you ever see that trick in  
domestic appliance shop windows 
Currys 
they would set up a vacuum cleaner and put the hose on the 
blow end 
by the way we said we didn't have an idea of how much pressure 
 there is inside Olefin 6 at Wilton 
we said 7,000 kilo Pascals 
well here it is 
a vaccuum cleaner produces  
20 twenty kilo Pascals  
and Olefin 6 uses seven thousand kiloPascals 
back to Curry's window display 
usually a cylinder vacuum 
pipe on the outlet 
oh the days when you re-sprayed your car, using a  
spray gun accessory for the Hoover... 
the cleaner would be on the floor of the window display 
the pipe would be angled towards the window 
and they would put a beach ball 
into the air stream 
and it would bobble around all day, half way up the window 
you take these two things together 
drafts keep virus laden water droplets airborne 
and available to be inhaled by other people 
but in humid conditions 
the individual droplets grow to a size where 
drafts can't keep them aloft 
The Australians - the people dealing with this in winter 
discovered this 
you know those 
insecticuters 
probably not familiar with the name 
used in butchers and the like 
ultra violet lights attract insects 
and the fly onto an electrified mesh 
we suggest 
keep humidity moderately high 
and have some sort of ducted fan system that 
attracts and condenses the water droplets from the air 
  
29th July 2020 
we have to consider the reverse of this 
we have to consider the idea that 
virus can be emitted in quite large droplets 
with low concentrations of virus in them 
and then 
exposed to very dry air 
they - the droplets - are dehydrated 
have water removed 
making them 
smaller 
lighter 
and with a more concentrated load of virus 
making them 
likely to stay airborne longer 
and 
more effectively infectious 
 
  
We have these fragments of memory from  
a long long time ago 
we know  
Callers Pegasus 
was an travel agency type business 
so we conclude that 
Cantors 
was a furniture shop 
it's just the sort of thing  
people with dementia like... 
anyway 
random urgings of an insane mind 
aside 
we are today considering the word 
cantor 
means the same thing as 
precentor 
you've never heard of either have you 
we will make  mad stab and say 
we think cantor is Jewish 
we have been able to establish 
at great personal risk - reaching for 
volume 2 of the dictionary 
m to z 
that precentor is a word used in 
some Presbyterian churches etc 
one who leads singing in congregation 
female precentrix 
no need for that these days 
in English Cathedrals.... 
member of the clergy responsible for 
general control of musical arrangements 
ranked between 
the Dean and the Succentor 
in more modern terminology 
a Minor Canon 
to be precise... 
Christian churches run long sides 
East - West 
so the choir has a North Side and a South side 
the north and south sides are the long sides because 
the axis of the church runs east - west 
so the Cantor or Precentor is in charge of the choir on the North side 
and the Dean is in charge of the choir on the south side 
and so  
there's one of those crooner standards 
in Italian 
cantare 
Italian for to sing 
Volare sung by Dean Martin 
probably rhymed 
Volare with cantare 
we stop there on the research 
when he was quite young our Ricker wrote a letter to 
The Sunday Times Magazine in response to a  
think piece 
by renowned hotelier 
Sir Charles Forte 
Ricker's line was that he had seldom seen such a 
display of hypocrisy and cant 
Ricker's letter was published soon after 
cant - singing the old songs 
insincere or conventional mode of speaking 
an expression peculiar to a class 
as , thieves cant, slang 
to speak hypocritically with 
affected piety 
what's the modern term 
something signalling 
virtue signalling 
we mention this because of comments by a judge, 
at the end of a recent rape trial 
concerning the devastation and destruction of  
the lives of these nine women... 
caused because??? 
you 'ad 'em and 
didn't marry 'em 
it does no service to these women to 
declare in open court that their lives are now 
effectively over 
 27th July 2020  
you know what 
that's all a bit garbled 
those numbers and such 
we have added 
next day numbers to show 
the difference between 
22nd July and 23rd July
mostly we see a range from 
no new positive tests in 
Redcar and Cleveland  
to 4 in somewhere else - Hartlepool? 
 
Ricker has a different way of putting that lot together 
some people in Redcar will still be alive 
who remember 
Col Rose 
Colin  
he was what Coatham had for  a careers advisor 
the thing was 
you didn't get a session or interview with Mr Rose 
he just had this one thing he did 
he had the school signed up 
God knows how 
to the 
Public Schools Appointments Bureau 
so one day our Ricker gets told 
this summer you have a placement at 
Kodak in Harrow, Harrow not Stevenage 
Harrow they made films and photosensitive papers 
Stevenage they processed your pics 
so before the term was invented 
Ricker was an intern in the  
Quality Assurance labs at Kodak 
and the people on the shop floor had an industrial concept of 
a sample 
they would send up these plastic screw topped jars 
labelled  
Solvent 3 
although the labs were QA labs 
actually their main purpose was to check that as little 
silver 
got into the drains 
as possible 
Ricker did silver assays 
being as how he was the intern 
he was given the old manual gear to do his tests 
and then after he had put in half a day getting his results 
the boss would zap the sample through the  
autoanalyser in around 5 minutes and get the same result 
the kicker in this is that 
solvent 3 was a saturated solution of 
sodium or potassium cyanide 
and when a sample bottle fell off a trolley 
people were told 
don't let any dogs lick your boots  
when you get home tonight 
so Ricker remembered the trendy term 
intern 
an actual intern is a junior doctor who 
lives in the hospital - sleeps in an office on a ward 
so that he can be woken to attend any 
overnight or weekend emergencies 
and the same can be said of nurses living in 
the nurses' home - on site 
town end near Marton Road at James Cook 
a real intern isn't unpaid 
they just never get to go home 
until they get promoted 
and somebody else becomes the intern  
 
  
so far as we can tell the following are 
total numbers of confirmed cases of  
the 2019 corona virus from the start of testing to 22 July 2020 
total followed by number per 100,000 people 
total followed by number per 100,000 people 
Redcar and Cleveland 705   515.7 23rd Juy no change 
Middlesbrough 963    685.2 
Stockton on Tees 970   491.9   23rd July 971 
Hartlepool 22nd July 600   643    23rd July 604  
Darlington 606   568.7   23rd July no change 
County Durham 3338   633.4 23rd July 3340 
Sunderland 1,777   640 23rd July 1,778 
North Yorkshire 2,545  414.9 23rd July 2,547 
Surrey Heath 433  487 23rd July 434 
Redcar and Cleveland 705   515.7 
Middlesbrough 963    685.2 
Stockton on Tees 970   491.9 
Hartlepool 600   643 
Darlington 606   568.7 
County Durham 3338   633.4 
Sunderland 1,777   640 
North Yorkshire 2,545  414.9 
Surrey Heath 433  487 
that, incidentally translates to a population of 
Middlesbrough  140,500 
Redcar and Cleveland 136,700 
Stockton on Tees 197,100 
Hartlepool 93,300 
so far as we can tell this reflects more on 
people's willingness to get tested than on  
infection rates 
no figures here for negative test results 
at some time this year 
705 of the 136,700 people in Redcar and Cleveland 
got a positive test result 
if we say 90 per cent of people only have the disease for  
two to three weeks 
at any given moment - on average 
35 people in Redcar and Cleveland 
had active disease 
however it is much more likely that  
at the height of the crisis 
around 100 people were carrying the virus and 
today - almost none 
and the problem was and is no worse in 
Middlesbrough or Hartlepool than in 
Surrey Heath where the London commuters live 
Surry Heath is essentially Camberley 
will the last person to 
attend a funeral in Hartlepool 
please turn the lights out 
does less than 100,000 people qualify as a town? 
  
It's sheer jealousy you know but out Ricker reckons 
Helen Stanley's world fell apart when the team went to the states and 
she met Partridge's family 
if Ricker had a glamorous assistant.... 
we have a couple more H.L.Menken quotes 
misogynist 
man who hates women as much as 
women hate each other 
and 
this one is Voltaire not Menken 
Medicine 
Amusing - distracting - the patient  
whilst nature cures the disease 
this is very important because 
through the second half of the 20th century 
in the NHS in the UK 
there was a culture of 
a pill for every ill 
the concept that the drugs were doing all the work 
and no consideration need be paid to 
synergy 
the treatment and the natural resources of the patient 
working in concert 
to achieve the best possible result 
the idea was 
fling endless options at  
lab rats 
and  
voluteer patients 
and licence the ones that do the least harm 
and this is linked to the saying 
the operation was a success but the patient died 
that still applies to cancer surgery 
the surgeon measures success in terms of 
histology reports that 
show adequate margins 
did we get it all out? 
not did we do unsurvivable damage? 
may cancer surgeons have a personal relationship with 
the tumour 
not 
the patient 
anthropomorphising the tumour or the infection 
dismissing the patient as 
 just another one of the 
little people 
  
our Ricker is fired up, motivated by 
spurious health advice on TV 
on free to view terrestrial TV 
there is this issue about white 
if a product is white 
over the ages it has had one of three things added 
1 lead oxide 
2 zinc oxide 
3 titanium dioxide 
lean oxide is toxic and banned for mere whitening 
zinc oxide is in all sorts of skin creams and is 
broadly fine but not in food 
titanium dioxide is the 
new thing but so far no problems have emerged 
the problem here is about 
galvanised metal, iron and steel 
galvanised metal is dipped in molten zinc 
and forms a layer that is effectively 
a sacrificial anode 
it get corroded in preference to the steel 
and corrosion has to get past the zinc to get to the steel 
if you heat galvanised metal you may vapourise the zinc 
the effect is a bit like breathing in
irritant but not highly toxic 
you need zinc in your diet so after a day or two 
the body will make proper use of the zinc delivered 
in an inappropriate way 
this is perhaps an old fashioned and expensive way to 
protect steel 
it is very random in terms of coating thickness 
you can put an much thinner and more comprehensive layer of 
zinc onto metal by 
zinc plating 
it is a common characteristic of 
electroplating processes that 
cyanide based solutions play a part 
they are thoroughly washed off in the process being 
very soluble in water 
we say 
don't let your kids suck and chew paintwork over 50 years old 
because there is likely to be lead in the paint 
we don't say  
don't let your kids put anything shinny in their mouths 
we do say don't let them swallow batteries 
your silver and gold plated cutlery is perfectly safe 
because any cyanide involved in the plating process is long gone 
so it irks our Ricker when 
car shows on TV say 
don't grind or weld 
galvanised metal components 
but don't say 
don't grind or weld chrome plated components 
galvanising has nothing to do with cyanide 
all fumes should be avoided 
but not on grounds of cyanide presence 
 20th July 2020  
we want to address a couple of concepts relating to 
slavery 
You probably don't remember 
Old Big 'ed 
managed some club in the East Midlands 
played for Boro 
Brian Clough 
he had a cousin called 
Jack Clough 
Jack Clough was in the military 
Jack Clough was a project manager in 
petroleum and petrochemical plant installation 
Jack Clough had a private pilot's licence 
Jack Clough was in the SBS 
Special Boat Squadron or Section 
that 
is the SAS on steroids 
Jack Clough was shot by the Yanks 
'Friendly Fire' 
they transfused nine pints of blood into him to keep him alive 
 Jack Clough had two sons 
one was Michael we could check the other one's name 
Michael was OK 
did things like going to Germany to sell welders 
The other one 
let's guess he was called David 
anyway the other one wanted to 
follow in his father's footsteps so he 
got into training to be a para 
member of the Parachute Regiment 
no bother getting accepted onto the course 
knowing who his father was... 
trouble was 
on his final assessment 
a parachute jump 
he screwed up  
landed badly 
broke his ankle 
not gonna be a para 
he point in being in the army then 
The army had trained him 
sooo 
time to 
buy himself out of the army 
pay compensation to the army for their loss of a trained recruit 
we think that no longer happens 
but it did back then
slave owners 
when they had to give them their freedom 
 
we can argue about the definition of a bolt 
and a screw 
a bolt has a nut 
a screw has no nut 
either or both of them can have a washer 
these days people probably don't think about  
the employment contracts of the people who 
built the railways 
they were called  
navvies 
because they were the same people who had built 
the canals - the navigations 
people these days have probably never heard the term 
paid in washers 
the navvies who built the railways 
were paid in tokens that 
could only be spent in 
company shops 
they were not paid in 
legal tender 
real money 
and so by the definition of current protesters 
they were slaves 
and they were 
for the most part 
Irish 
or Polish 
 
  
 
 
  
where to start? 
there is a difference between 
a dysfunctional standard family upbringing 
and 
an unconventional upbringing 
you can think 
a professional who had a challenging childhood 
will have empathy with messed up kids 
the problem is 
neither party is any sort of expert on 
normal 
take two girls 
let's call the first one Janet 
let's say she starts out OK 
in some dead and alive hole such as Hull 
and she was born in 1942 
it goes OK for a while 
then her mom gets sick 
she has kidney failure 
modern medicine comes to the rescue 
sort of 
she gets dialysis 
she stays alive 
for a while 
until 
the hospital run out of places to 
make fistulas 
all the veins she could have used 
had used to take the blood out and put it back 
had collapsed 
and  
transplants were not on the horizon 
she died 
and Janet had been old enough to get involved in the whole tragedy 
and then she is a teenager with only a dad to rely on 
and without malice he could struggle with a 
teenage daughter in the UK in the mid 1950s 
if you smart enough to get to uni in the late 50s early 60s 
you smart 
if you feel motivated by your mother's fate to study biology 
fine 
if you take a job teaching biology in a grammar school in Eston 
right under the shadow of South Bank Steelworks... 
that's getting iffy 
then your grammar is closed and you are re assigned to an 
11 to 16 comp in the same building... 
trouble 
then 
then you think  
I'm gonna tackle these morons 
one at a time 
not by the classroom full 
I'm gonna be a 
social worker 
Heavens to Betsy 
so by the time you get to having a granddaughter 
oh by the way you left your husband and the kids and  
bought your own house in 
Stokesley 
by the time you have a granddaughter who takes after you and 
she goe one step beyond and becomes 
a probation officer!!!! 
what we have here is a system that prizes 
empathy 
and not effective role models 
it's basically  
keep a lid on it 
rather than fix it 
and then there is girl number 2 
in a sense she has the opposite problem 
her mom is a single mother 
but her father is not exactly dead 
he's just married 
to somebody else 
not her mom 
and here is a specific difficulty 
let's say she was born in 1962 
let's say she's called Tania 
and she gets to university too 
and perhaps, just to add a side issue 
let's say dad's legitimate kids don't get to uni 
once she graduates 
dad may start to think 
perhaps I should have gone through all that 
divorce and re-marry stuff but 
those were the days 
Church of England wouldn't have had that 
but this does present a problem 
you have a father who 
doesn't really know his graduate daughter at all 
he feels a sense of  
ownership 
and a sense of duty to protect 
but he has no love 
or even empathy 
for his child 
and he regards her as precious  
but has no idea of what she wants or needs 
and if he's a copper 
nobody is going to argue with him 
about anything 
 
 
  
we are going to continue to nibble at the 
sugar and rum trade 
The Indian indenture system was 
a system of indentured servitude 
by which  
2 million Indians 
South Asian types 
were transported to labour in  
European colonies as a substitute for  
slave labour 
following the abolition of the trade in 
 the early 19th century 
naturally this system was diverse but in essence 
the men involved were required to 
swear before a magistrate that they were going 
voluntarily 
and they were paid 
eleven cents a month 
thus evading the charge that this was 
slavery 
in the legal sense 
we are gonna free-style it a  bit from here 
in the UK as elsewhere 
through long tradition 
people - mostly boys at pre-teen age 
signed indentures to be 
apprenticed to a master 
they would work 
think of famous European painters... 
and people making cart wheels 
and brewing beer 
they would sign up to work for a master  
for free 
for seven years 
in exchange for learning the master's trade 
very recently in the UK these sorts of 
job placements  
were outlawed 
we forget the trendy term for them 
we now have all sorts of apprenticeships 
some very short 
presumably now on living wage 
here's the thing 
when indentured for a trade 
you are working for the seven years  
without pay but with 
expenses 
like there's a dormitory where the 
apprentice jockeys sleep 
and their food and tack are provided by the master 
in the case of the Indian indentured labourers 
they agreed to work for free or the 11 cents pocket money 
in exchange for something else 
mainly 
1 release from a debt 
2 transportation to a place they would rather be 
we do want to say that the 'slaves' on the sugar plantation 
had help 
the main power provision was from 
four legged associates 
we know not, horse, mule, cattle 
they were supervised by a small number of  
white overseers - including security 
around 6 security guards per island 
we bring you now to the present day - for a moment 
a lot of people are familiar with the  
semi-comic detective series 
Death in Paradise 
it takes around six months of location shooting to make each series 
most main actors can only stick it for around three series 
half the year stuck in the middle of nowhere 
the main point about being a slave in the West Indies was 
so much time on your hands waiting for the crop to grow 
and nowhere to go 
and the real kicker was 
even if you did get permission to leave 
the ships all went to 
England 
you would have to go to England 
not Africa 
if you left 
some did 
we know of nobody who went to England and then 
went on to Africa 
and so 
everybody being somewhat 
stir crazy 
tensions ran high and 
for a time 
the people with the weapons 
were slaves - machetes 
security - guns 
violence was high on the agenda 
it didn't mean that 
the white people were immune from slaughter in 
slave rebellions  
we could say 
without much hope of being believed.. 
The sugar plantations in the West Indies were 
set up by the Dutch 
and run repressively by them 
and they gave up 
and switched to beet sugar 
and the British took over and kept the industry going 
in a much more British way 
until the First World War spoiled the party   
 
 
 
 
  
we have another Menken quote 
Puritanism 
the haunting fear that 
someone somewhere 
may be happy 
we have a  
G K Chesterton quote  
we will adapt it for the modern world 
Police officer 
A person who pours righteous indignation into 
the wrong things 
in the original it was  
Puritan 
 
  
H L Menken 
was an American writer and journalist 
1898 to 1956 
in some ways most famous for a series of books about 
American English 
the language 
not so much the ethnic group 
He titled the series 
The American Language 
he was generally regarded as  
anti-Semitic and racist 
and he was to some extent famous for his coverage of the 
Scopes Trial 
The Monkey Trial 
the trial of a schoolmaster for teaching evolution 
and 
his wife, Sara Haart, had been an advocate of 
the 19th amendment 
to the United States Constitution 
up until 1776 many of the colonies in what would become 
The United States of America 
allowed woman to vote 
in America in 1807 
every state in the United States adopted a constitution that 
denied the vote to women 
they got it eventually 
but one failed attempt to grant it was 
the proposed but not ratified 
19th amendment  
just another example of 
colonial life being somewhat more Liberal 
than commonly portrayed 
anyway we are just getting our context in 
before quoting Menkin 
we have this current Menkin quote 
 
Hygiene is  
The corruption of medicine by morality 
kinda sums up what we have been saying just lately 
 
  
three phrases come to mind for the present situation 
blow the froth off the top of the coffee 
taking in each other's washing 
shall I be mother? 
young people these days seem to see 
taking on a job in the 
service sector 
as 
getting paid for being sociable 
in the works canteen 
without actually setting foot on the shop floor 
pressure to 
have a job 
results in people doing for each other 
things they could do for themselves 
the downside is that 
instead of doing these things for  
somebody down the street 
they are commuting huge distances to 
seek these services 
if father is home, working from home 
he may - the sexist swine 
call out 
any coffee on the go? 
if he's  
at work at work 
either he has to walk to the  
bistro on the corner  
or 
have deliveroo 
deliver his coffee to his desk 
what is missed here is that 
how shall we say 
if the worker's work consists of 
sub-contracting a manufacturing order to 
'China' 
remember?  
all the tea in China 
and most of it is grown in  
India and other South and South East Asian countries 
either that item will be made in a 
sweat shop in Leicester 
or in a 
highly robotised, hi tech facility in 
China or Japan 
people are 'put off' 
'real work' 
by the image of the persistent 
British sweat shops 
but we see a glimmer of hope 
children of the 1950s were inspired by 
replacing filthy coal and oil with 
'clean(er)' nuclear and gas 
what we see is despite the children of the 70s 
switching to  
really clean 
desk top and lap top computers 
children of the 21st century 
are  
during lock down 
at the beginning anyway 
into a vision of  
modern manufacturing 
by making PPE 
personal protective equipment 
using 
3D printers 
never mind free tablets for underprivileged children 
get the 3D printers and laser cutters 
into class rooms and youth clubs 
what about 
sports clubs where 
the geeks don't just 
keep score 
but design and make the 
sports equipment? 
and  
replace 
today children we will be exploring options for 
working out how many beans make five 
when the battery dies on our 'phones 
with 
today children 
we won't just be putting your pictures aside to dry 
we will feed your files into the printer to 
produce trainer uppers or face shields to your design 
overnight 
 
  
we do find it easy to imagine our UK 
Prime Minister 
with a mental age of six 
so we enter that wonderfully imaginative world 
and explore the concept of 
hand washing 
when our Ricker was seven and attending his sister's wedding 
he was trying to be awfully grown up in his posh togs 
and he tried to shake hands with the vicar 
and offered his left hand 
and the vicar shook it with his left hand 
there are cultures where that would be very  
offensive in adults 
the theory is 
you shake hands with the hand you DON'T use 
to wipe your bum 
but we want to explore the distinction between 
handshakes and fist bumps 
we imagine the six or seven year old 
and we think 
most of them have heard of  
elephants 
when Ricker was six he knew he could breathe  
in and out through his nose 
but whilst poking it 
he couldn't figure out 
why there wasn't a hole in the middle 
it does tend to thoughts of magic 
even a six year old Prime Minister 
knows that elephants are very good at football 
with a big enough ball 
but they put their food into their mouths  
using the trunks 
and their trunks are their noses 
perhaps to the six year old PM 
human arms and hands are like 
elephant trunks  
and 
we  
breathe in and out through our palms 
and not the backs of our hands 
perhaps if our 
Infant Hercules 
Prime Minister 
attains the mental age of 12 
he will figure out that 
noses are for 
breathing AND smelling 
here may lie the confusion 
it is said 
by some 
that if you wear gloves 
whilst peeling and chopping onions 
you cry less 
who is to say that 
there are not  
nose type smell sensitive nerve endings  
in the finger tips 
that could pick up a virus? 
the wonderful world of Desilu 
the guy Desi Arnaz?? 
the woman 
Lucille Ball 
the classic sketch 
in the department store 
climbing into the fridge 
to check that the light goes out 
when the door is shut 
never take anybody's word for anything 
The All American Way 
Desilu defunct 1968  
 14th July 2020  
we remembered, we remembered 
 
funny how you always remember right at the end 
reference to a 70s chocolate bar add where the puppet 
 
eats the whole bar before he 
remembers what it's called 
 
it's called 
vaginismus 
involuntary muscle spasm that interferes 
 with vaginal intercourse or other penetration of the vagina 
also when you can't get the speculum into the vagina 
to do the smear test 
and in extreme cases 
can't get a tampon in and need to use pads 
 
  
we want to make a point here about the way 
law enforcement  
take scientific medical advice 
and turn it on its head 
to take the medical opinion first 
we won't bother with the name of the drug 
it has been described as an 
oral pregnancy test 
it came before 
the most sophisticated bit of technology 
you will ever deliberately piss on 
the home pregnancy test 
that wasn't the point of the drug 
the point of the drug 
the scientific point of the drug is a  
condition called  
amenorrhea 
absence of menstruation 
scientifically 
the idea was 
is the patient really pregnant? 
medically you don't have  periods 
if you are male 
if you are a little girl 
if you are past the menopause 
if you are pregnant 
if you have certain disorders, illnesses 
anorexia is the most common disorder suppressing periods 
in the days when this drug was prescribed 
anorexia was not on most people's RADAR 
the scientific idea was 
if you are of an age when you should be having periods 
and you are not and you are not pregnant 
a little nudge will bring on the period 
the downside - scientifically - is that if you are pregnant 
and a scientist in those days would imagine that 
a woman not expecting to be pregnant 
would have self selected for this treatment by 'knowing' 
that she had not had unprotected sex in the past few months 
perhaps too much to ask 
medics mistaking 
why have my periods gone 
for 
am I pregnant 
may bear some responsibility for the problems that ensued 
the essence is 
if somebody is pregnant 
and the pregnancy is in the  
developmental phase 
the early phase 
and not the  
growth phase 
the second and third trimesters - thirds 
even the slightest invitation to produce a period 
will hold the prospect of causing damage to 
the link or bond between 
the womb wall and the placenta - later the afterbirth 
and in the early stages of pregnancy this could interrupt 
development of bodily features 
from the scientific  - drug company - point of view 
you don't do this test unless you 
KNOW 
you are not pregnant 
these days if you are female and of child bearing age 
you can't even get an X-ray 
without giving a negative pregnancy test first 
times change 
where we get into the  
misinterpretation of scientific advice by 
law makers and law enforcement  
is who should be expected to have periods 
to quote from the book of words 
Delayed menses should be evaluated if 
a girl shows no signs of puberty 
by age 13 
and menarche has not occurred by age 16 
or if five years have passed without menarche 
since the onset of puberty 
end quote 
also if you go 3 months without a period 
or have less than 9 periods a year 
here's the legal slight of hand 
a female should be ready for sex 
NO LATER THAN her 16th birthday 
and the law says a female should not have sex 
BEFORE her sixteenth birthday 
AND 
the law picks up in the age 13 bit too 
it makes se with a female under 13 
a more serious offence 
like the lawyers overheard 13 and 16 
from the row behind in the cinema 
and made up their own minds about their significance 
speaking of which 
we were mentioning 
heavy petting in the cinema 
we forgot to mention that 
the back row of the  
Palace Cinema on Redcar sea front 
now replaced by 
the Palace Hub 
had special double seats on the back row 
expressly for the purpose 
this presents two major defects in a  
lazy 
one size fits all set of laws that are 
mandatory not advisory 
and like many unreasonable pieces of legislation 
in the spirit of 
the darkest hour is just before dawn 
the more unreasonable a law is seen to be 
the more extreme the penalties that are introduced 
tak out a Jenga block and anarchy... 
a couple including a female under 16 are seen as 
deliberately setting out to send the whole of humanity 
to eternal damnation 
and the punishment reflects that and not the sex 
on the other hand females over 16 are not protected from the 
what's wrong with you? accusation 
these days 
as opposed to say 40 years ago in the UK 
we don't hear the word 
fridgid - ever 
we do forget the term but 
there is this story about a couple found dead on Redcar Stray 
early one morning 
because in her fright 
the female had gripped the male's todger so hard 
they could not separate 
and died of exposure 
it goes with the myth of the 
vagina with teeth that chops of todgers 
we have previously made mention of 
being  
dry humped 
as a definition for rape to avoid all those arguments about 
consent 
but being clamped so tight shut that no mortal man could get in... 
it's gotta leave a mark 
 
  
a major problem is one of scale 
if you are Tommy Trump 
and you live in Coronation Street 
in Manchester 
and you keep a pig in the back yard 
you are considered to be 
well worse that the bloke at the end of the street 
who runs a fish and chip shop 
that smells of rotten fish 
a pernicious trade 
subject to local authority supervision 
back in the day 
if you own a country house 
you will be in line to be bought up by 
the National Trust 
if you have  
a Home Farm 
complete with pig styes 
and a fish pond 
it's a matter of scale 
and so long as 'people' 
the media 
regard 'Redcar' as a  
little sister to the cute fishing village of 
Staithes 
the steel works will seem like a 
monstrous carbuncle on the face of a beloved friend 
last month a USAF pilot ditched in the North Sea 
he did not survive, condolences 
the thing is he set off from Lincolnshire 
and landed in the sea quite a long way off 
Hull 
and yet early press report were that 
he had crashed near 
Middlesbrough 
in the minds of hacks there are only 
fifty towns in the UK 
and they all have Premiership or Championship 
football clubs 
we do recall the story that there are no football clubs 
in Scotland's Premiership that 
have a stadium of the same name 
Celtic - Glasgow 
Rangers -Glasgow 
it may not be quite true but as examples 
Ross County, St. Mirren, St Jonstone 
Queen of the South, Partic Thistle,  
would the Scottish media say 
a helicopter crashed onto the roof of 
the Clutha club 
near Celtic 
they probably would  
it probably reflects a reality that 
lots of people get into journalism 
through sports journalism 
through keeping score at cricket matches 
and writing about football matches from the 
side lines for the school magazine 
or web page 
what constitutes a town 
we have heard of 
Kirkleatham and Eston 
variously described as 
near Middlesbrough or near Redcar 
when it comes to London 
all we gets is 
North London, West London, East London 
Lord Sakes yesterday we actually got 
in Bow, East London 
orwas it 
Bromley by Bow 
or was it Bromley in Kent? 
we recall the footballer who missed an match because 
he put Stamford Bridge 
into his sat nav 
and ended up in Stamford Bridge 
not Chelsea 
if you are interested... 
the crane collapse in Bow 
somebody decided that 
the crane didn't need its counterweights 
whilst it was being erected 
was leaving them until 
they actually started lifting loads 
this was a special type of crane 
ir can be more lightweight because 
it does not have a  
jib 
at an angle 
but a vertical tower and a  
traveller 
so the forces ar taking two sides of a triangle 
so that a swinging jib is not involved and all the  
slewing occurs way above any surrounding structures 
we have one working on the  
Mo Mowlam centre on Corporation Road, Redcar this summer 
but the horizontal traveller or arm is a load on the crane from the 
get go 
and the counter weights must be in place before the traveller goes out 
incidentally 
the origin of the word jib is that it is the name of the  
sail  
that is the ground or in-fill of the triangle and so  
the use of jib in crane speak probably comes from 
jib spar 
the pole that holds the jib sail up 
speaking of place names 
the police 
not having any staff in North Yorkshire..... 
quite an important road runs through 
Chop Yat 
the police could never find it because it's 
on the maps as 
Chop Gate 
locals told the change the name 
would never happen in Wales 
incidentally 
back in the days of black and white TV 
sorry monochrome TV 
North Yorkshire used to get the 
Welsh regional opt outs 
near enough for government work 
the transmitter is called  
Billsdale 
and on Teeside 
TV aerials point in opposite directions  
because... 
we get equally rubbish reception from both 
Bilsdale 
and 
Pontop Pike 
little place, Teesside 
only got the one rubbish football club 
doesn't need its own TV transmitter 
Pontop Pike 
312  meters of pike - hill 
and 149 metres of tower 
 between Stanley and Consett 
opened 1953 
Billsdale 
mast height 314 metres 
built 1969 
essentially, properties that  
got TV 
before 1969 have aerials pointing north 
and properties that got TV after 1969 
have aerials pointing south 
Billsdale is a 
guyed steel tube 
so we assume there is a lift inside 
it's on the top of 
Bilsdale West Moor 
nearer to Chop Yat than  
Hemsley 
Helmesley 
the B1257 runs in the bottom of the vale of the Seph 
and that dvides Bilsdale West Moor from 
Bilsdale East Moor 
we don't have the spot height for Bilsdale East moor 
or the base of Bilsdale transmitter 
but it was probably chosen as a high point and 
400 metres above sea level is typical in those parts 
it's effin' enormous but apparently 
not always run at full power 
what we want to know is 
what happened to 
Burnhope TV transmitter 
Burnhope was set up to provide 
ITV independent TV 
in the North East of England 
but now it doesn't 
it's a DAB only transmitter 
digital audio broadcasting 
  
what we are getting at is 
The Big Blast in Redcar was built in the  
1970s 
when it was built and commissioned 
it made  
South Bank steel works redundant 
soon after only the 
coke ovens, the offices, and the  
BOS plant remained 
the blast furnaces had gone 
South Bank coke ovens remain 
Lackenby BOS plant remains 
Basic Oxygen Steelmaker 
basic as in alkaline - not acidic 
not bog standard 
they get the ph up by adding limestone 
we not very sure but we think it was the 
Ineos chap who turned down the chance to 
build replica Land Rovers on the site 
because 
'there's nothing there but a muddy field' 
that tends to be the way with development sites 
see, he's used to buying up redundant  
but working plant 
such as his recent purchase of all of 
BP's petrochemical plants 
here we go... 
you can separate crude oil into things such as 
petrol (gasoline) 
diesel 
heating and aviation fuel 
and you are left with 
something more waxy 
the stuff  
Sabic 
SBIC 
the Sa bit being  
Saudi Arabian 
use the Olefin 6 plant at Wilton, Redcar 
to crack down into smaller lighter 
chemical intermediates 
raw materials for the likes of plastics 
if you are bp and you are transitioning from 
British Petroleum 
British so the Obama administration reckoned they should 
pay for the refurb of the Southern coastal states of the US 
despite the oil spill being created by a US sub contractor 
we digress 
if you are bp and you want to transition from 
British Petroleum  
to 
Beyond Petroleum 
you won't be processing crude oil 
and you won't have  
waxy, varnishy stuff to dispose of 
hence 
ditch petroleum - ditch petrochemicals 
and the tail starts to wag the dog 
we need the petrochemicals to make the likes of plastics 
we don't need the lighter stuff because we've gone 
electric or hydrogen 
The Ineos guy decided to walk into a disused car plant 
in South Wales 
we don't know how that went 
as of now 
Redcar and Cleveland Council 
not 
Up the Boro council 
are considering a planning application to use that 
muddy field to build 
wind turbines 
 
  
we know that we are kinda 
in the vanguard in medical thinking 
we are not entirely dismissive of the  
conflict in the minds of young people 
particularly of, shall we say 
AME rather than BAME background 
trying to reconcile their religion and their 
professional training 
if they are of less than top notch intellect 
they will tend to see their 
professional routine as pretty much the same thing as 
a religious ritual 
for those with 'a religion' 
it can be a bit like a Jenga Tower 
disprove one element of their faith 
and their whole faith and compass in life 
disintegrates 
a lot of medical professionals expect to leave uni 
with a professional routine that will stand by them 
throughout their careers 
and so the emails that change protocols 
stress them out no end 
for that class of medical practitioner... 
there is a tendency to at least go along with 
patient families' and patient communities' 
concept that all illness is 
a punishment from God 
this becomes a sliding scale 
you have a disease after having sex 
having sex must be naughty 
you have an illness after shaking hands 
you must have neglected the hand washing ritual 
you get ill after using 
not that anybody does these days... 
a telephone kiosk 
soon after somebody else 
you may have perfected the hover in public toilets 
but you can't hole a 'phone conversation 
whilst holding your breath 
so how can you have upset God 
to the extent that he visited a plague on you and 
your household? 
if you are told you can get very ill 
simply by breathing in 
air that somebody else breathed out 
where's the crime in that? 
 
  
It is sometimes difficult to grasp how 
the speed of social and moral change varies across 
social groups and institutions 
for many people in authority 
the mere fact of sending an email was regarded as  
an act of sedition 
Ricker remembers being asked by a 
Probation Officer 
do you realise that every time you  
send me an email 
I have to print it out and put the hard copy 
into your file? 
in broad terms 
Watsonm Crick, Frankline and the other guy - Wilkins 
settled the issue of the DNA structure in 1952 
Frankline died a few years later 
it was in 1962 that the survivors 
Crick, Watson and Wilkins were awarded their 
Nobel Prizes 
for the work 
nobody has ever fixed the fact that 
Nobel Prizes cannot be awarded  
to dead people 
thye are supposed to designate 
special people who can be turned to for advice 
people whose future endeavours should be invested in 
trouble is 
ten years is an untypically short time from 
discovery to award 
so Nobel Laureates 
tend to be a bit past it 
defeating the point of the  
no posthumous awards clause 
to get to our point 
we want to contrast 
The Fifties 
and the invention of the  
Teenager 
with the swinging Sixties 
both are still - just about - within living memory 
one quote - a song lyric - characterises the 50s 
we're not checking when it was written 
she's gonna have fun fun fun 
'til her daddy takes the T bird away 
it's a car a Thunderbird 
throughout the fifties in wetern culture the 
DNA story was gaining momentum 
and in the Swinging Sixties 
the availability of the  
contraceptive pill 
a vegan prescription, just to let you know 
the contraceptive pill became the issue 
but another quote for the fifties 
probably not from a song but maybe from a movie 
that shows the gulf between the fifties and the sixties is 
after a session of heavy petting on the  
back row of the movies 
one young woman says to another 
if he's broken through 
I'll kill myself 
not so much fear of 
unwanted pregnancy 
fear of 
virginity loss 
heavy petting categories 
top outside 
top inside 
bottom outside 
bottom inside 
where was Ms Allred then? 
perhaps not yet born 
 6th July 2020  
from time to time we get irritated by 
media output 
and 
are stirred to 
state the bleeding obvious 
so we will start with the not so obvious 
in mid 18th century Silesia 
the king of Prussia 
subsidised experiments to improve the 
extraction of sugar 
in 1747 Andreas Marggraf 
isolated sugar from 
beetroots 
here's a name from the 60s 
'pop' group 
The Wurzels 
mangleworzles 
beet 
sugar beet 
and.... 
Tate and Lyle  
Tate Gallery 
cane sugar - West Indies 
British Sugar Corporation 
mangleworzles - Lincolnshire 
by 1914.... 
the sugar beet industry in the US 
matched European production 
California, Utah, Nebraska 
in the US 
beet sugar was produced in  
World War 2 
by  
Interned Japanese 
US beet sugar 11 states 55 per cent of sugar production 
US cane sugar 4 states 45 per cent of sugar production 
in short 
people Tate and Lyle 
who made vast sums from cane sugar did so 
because  
it wasn't until the country couldn't get  
cane sugar imports during  
The First World War 
that the UK government allowed - promoted 
beet sugar in the UK 
cane sugar producers didn't 
make their vast fortunes by 
working Africans to death 
as in abolitionist propaganda 
but by exploiting their 
monopoly of supply to 
Brits who were and are  
addicted to the stuff 
the prices people were willing to pay for sugar 
the workers could have had 
enormous wages and the sellers would not have noticed 
remember sugar cane... 
plant grass 
wait most of the year for it to grow 
set fire to it 
to burn off the dry bits with no sugar 
and make chopping space 
spend a month or two chopping it down 
boil it up 
stick it on a ship 
repeat 
that's a two month work year 
plenty of time to recover 
and perfect your singing 
the 'slaves' on sugar plantations in the West Indies were 
seasonal agricultural workers 
but it was uneconomic to 
return them to Africa in the  
off season 
their livilhood was protected by the 
British Government's suppression of beet sugar in the UK 
 
  
1611 King James Bible 
Henry 8 - 1386 - 1422 
1590 earliest record of a 
compound microscope 
a microscope using more than one lens in an optical path 
and so 
any observations of tiny things before 1590 
Henry 8 but not James 2 
would have been with a glorified  
magnifying glass 
Elizabeth 1st 1533 - 1603 
we tend to think of 
The Church of England 
as a whacky marginal aberration founded by Henry 8 
what we forget is that 
before he fell off his horse 
Henry was deeply involved with Rome 
Elizabeth the 1st and Queen Mary were 
daughters of Henry 8 
here's a thing 
if Elizabeth was Queen 
she would by the conventions of the day 
not have eggs 
and therefore 
could not have  
legitimate heirs 
married or not 
it is very 21st century 
to have  
daughters fit into the royal line of succession 
without quibble 
we tend to think of the  
King James Bible 
as uniquely 
British 
but interpretations of scripture 
which books to include and leave out etc. 
would have been more shared across 
Christendom 
that may be imagined 
in a sense there was - at the time 
no point in Elizabeth 1 giving birth 
because she would be handeing her throne to 
her partners child not hers 
and with no DNA back then 
which bloke's kid gets the crown? 
but there is a different angle here 
since 
see below 
people in Tudor Times 
believed that  
first mating sealed the deal in terms of 
the genetics of all future children 
we are cast back to the writings about 
The Mother of John The Baptist 
considered  
barren 
but then found not to be 
maybe she 
had sex once 
nothing happened 
she gave up 
until much later 
it's a thought 
  
and so we come to the 
Twins Sam 
the curate's wife gives birth 
and he - oh the day when clergy were male 
says 
but I was naughty twice vicar 
the opposite concept 
each and every penetration leads to a birth 
 
  
we're writing about this as though it's  
ancient history 
but 
there appears to have been a 
paradigm shift  
between Ricker born in the 1950s 
and his half brothers born in the 1920s 
men born up to the twenties or thirties  
seemed to think that 
any bloke with  
good bloodlines 
could knock decent kids out of 
anything with tits 
that shift in opinion probably came with 
Watson,Crick, Wlkins, Frankline 
we say Watson and Crick but 
if it weren't for 
Watson - Yank, Crick - Brit 
it would probably have always been the other way around 
anyway 
that book 
The Double Helix 
probably laid the foundations for a 
meaningful sort of 
wimin's lib 
a genuine  
female emancipation that 
BAME people will not have the same  
groundwork for 
what BAME people need to work on is 
a reputation for being 
chilled 
our Ricker knows his limitations 
he has no idea who 
Tom Marvolo Riddle  
was 
he was 
Lord Voldemort 
and so  
the  
first Austrian Grand Prix of 2020 
was a 
Voldemort themed fancy dress party 
The next few months will be a 
Jobsworths' Jamboree 
all sorts of regulations will be introduced so that 
they can be relaxed 
a couple of weeks later 
what fun 
speaking of characters from the past... 
we, Ricker, recognises that most people don't  
get 
references to Douglas Adams and 
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 
at the start of the series  
Earth is designated 
Harmless 
at the end it has changed to 
Mostly Harmless 
the great selling point of the guide is that 
the front cover is dominated by the words 
Don't Panic 
strange when all UK journalistic wisdom would say 
to sell newspapers you need to  
tell the casual observer that 
there is something new to panic over 
as a TV series and as a movie 
Hitchhiker's is a quest 
The quest is to find the answer to the ultimate question 
of 
Life, The Universe and Everything 
there are three computer characters in the series 
Marvin the Paranoid Android 
Brain the size of a planet 
of which more later 
brain the size of a planet and they  
ask me to open a door 
the second computer is 
Deep Thought 
in the BBC television series it is represented as the 
Shell - or is it BP? - building 
near the National Theatre 
it is set the task of telling people the answer to the question 
Life, the Universe and Everything 
for our point we have to spoli the surprise 
the answer Deep Thought gives is 
42 
referring to Marvin's brain size 
turns out the mice 
as in  
ah the plans of mice and men 
do often gang astray 
what have men got to do with it? 
ask the mice 
the mice 
have commissioned  
Slartybartfarst's company to 
build  
The Earth 2 
to replace 
The Earth 
and both were intended as computers to answer the ultimate question 
we will make an aside about 
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 
it's a pop-up restaurant 
set up so people can dine whilst 
observing 
the end of the universe 
a time and event 
not  place 
the point is 
if you ask a 
digital 
computer to answer a question 
its answer will be a number 
whether it's 42 
or pie to six million decimal places 
and so with health difficulties 
computers... 
garbage in - garbage out 
but more significantly 
numbers in - numbers out 
we picked out a statistic - unverified as they say 
first month of lockdown in UK 
16 women and children killed in locked down homes 
one mother and her three children were the  
victims of one incident 
so we could say 
no more than 13 incidents of  
lockdown man on women and children homicide 
no more than 13 men 
lost it to lethal effect 
normal non-lockdown monthly average... 
8 
percentage wise significant and all tragic 
but not the  
mass slaughter as advertised 
over the past five years 
we have seen around a dozen 
terrorism related homicides 
and one  
white man retaliatory attack 
Finsbury Park  
and that white man was 
Welsh 
we do seem to be quite chilled as a nation 
and too keen to give too much of a platform to 
people who are too close to the  
pockets of paranoia 
 
in these days of  
electronic program(me) guides 
it is not easy for a reviewer to  
as the old time radio disc jockeys would have said 
back announce 
an item 
The Yesterday channel recently re-ran a series on 
the private lives of (British) monarchs 
and the last one was Henry the eighth 
it was fronted by the chief curator of the British Royal Palaces 
we lighted on one comment she made 
she said some people in Tudor times - the days of Henry 8th 
had an idea that  
every time a man had sex he shortened his life by one year 
Henry died at 44 
another idea was that depite marrying her 
Henry never had sex with 
Ann of Cleaves 
it conjures up in the mind the concept of 
people the likes of Henry 8th 
only ever having sex on their 
wedding night 
and if it didn't do the trick... 
next wife 
Henry couldn't get a male heir 
makes you wonder how hard he tried 
what he thought was actually involved 
like  
I piss on this lamp post once 
and it is for ever mine? 
lock her up in a tower and 
every time she comes on heat 
one of her husband's sperm will develop 
before there were microscopes 
or perhaps just as they became available and were 
still rubbish 
at least one drawing emerged of the 
humanculus 
preformationism 
asserted to be trapped inside each sperm 
a humanculus being a tiny fully formed baby 
wikipaedia reference 
 homunculus 
here is the difference 
every little girl is born with all the eggs she will ever have 
many never develop but they can be counted 
boys MAKE sperm 
they bud them off from mother cells 
sperm count and quality can be affected by 
environmental conditions 
if we take two ideas 
the late 20th century concet of the 
fractal universe p
everything is made up of smaller and smaller versions of itself 
and the concept of  
preformationism 
every boy has knackers full of  
children hidden in sperm 
and all the male sperm have  
sperm in their knackers and 
it's turtles all the way down 
Terry Pratchet reference 
what preformationism says is 
everything that will ever exist 
was created by God in his 
six day week 
it's just that a lot of it is at present so small 
it can't yet be seen 
but it may grow 
it is based on 
16th century alchemy 
and  
19th century science fiction 
before he fell off his horse... 
Henry 8 was very into  
The Enlightenment 
Alchemy and all that 
there are species 
where the female mates once 
stores and nurtures masses of sperm 
and doles them out as she produces eggs 
perhaps the royal physicians had been studying 
bees 
and this fits in with this concept of 
a husband and his mother insisting that the bride 
be virgo intacta 
groom's mother inspects the bride 
and hands her the white dress in which to walk down the aisle 
style 
 6th July 2020  
according to paypal 
nobody, absolutely nobody 
has donated one thin dime 
to the support of this web site 
that is interesting 
  
as  a planet 
we are suffering a bit of a setback 
but in the UK 
for some at least 
it's back to 
onwards and upwards 
 29th June 2020 
we are going to explore the issues around the 
Smallman case 
we start from the concept that two women are  
reported to the police as missing 
the first allegation is that the police took an 
oh they'll turn uo 
dead or alive 
initial attitude 
to the case 
this in itself begs the question 
did the police know 
right from the outset 
that these were women of colour? 
was t just a case of 
oh just another missing persons case 
or was it 
oh God not THEM again 
were the Smallmans  
known to the police? 
and then the family find the  
victims and the murder weapon 
we would guess that in the majority of murders 
we've found a body 
is the gist of the initial report to police 
it is not very clear that 
a prior missing persons report 
automatically dictates that 
the police should find the body first 
we would guess that very rarely are 
police eyes the first to light on the 
body of a murder victim after death 
we have a point to make about how this will play out 
we are wondering how much of this will be divulged 
we are wondering = in this modern age 
what sort of police officers would you set to stand over 
female dead bodies whilst SOCO arrived 
scenes of Crime Officers 
what chance 
female victims - female guardians 
plenty of low ranking female officers around in London 
if the unofficial pics were taken by female officers 
that will be clear because the issue is 
not the taking but the publishing of these images 
that is at question 
and that brings us to the question of 
automatic victimhood for females 
and we will refer readers to the 
bed bath scene 
in  
Christy Brown's 
My Left Foot 
the title of this autobiography relates to a chap 
who had control of his left foot 
and nothing else 
and the passage relates to a group of  
female nurses 
turning his bed bath into 
personal, group, entertainment 
essentially relating to the fact that 
this stricken man despite having no 
control over his body 
was subject to 'normal' consequences of 
sexual arousal 
  
this being factual 
brings to mind a fictional scene 
the singer and entertainer 
Sting 
once played the part of a priest in a movie 
in the essential scene his character is left alone with 
a young woman who is comatose 
and as a result of his doing what any 
red blooded male would have done before 
DNA was discovered 
she is snapped out of her coma 
we also have reports or stories of 
father's visiting morgues to  
identify their dead daughters 
and discovering the attendants 
having sex with their dead daughters' remains 
the phrase there being 
he prefers his meat cold 
on at least one occasion the producers of 
adult entertainment, looking for  
a USP - unique selling point 
have set up in a care home to make a movie about 
women over 100 having sex 
not a niche that gained much popularity 
there is a sense of 
she's not much use for anything 
but at least the lads can have a bit of fun with her 
if you can't sing, dance, cook, tell jokes 
in a sense, no matter how disabled 
you can 
lie back and think of England 
and it is not exactly clear why such people should be 
reduced from 
basically useless 
to utterly useless 
because what they can do is 
sex related 
 
 
  
we don't know the history of small local 
furniture retailer 
Barker and Stonehouse 
they have some large stores now and they are 
possibly not in the same ownership they were in 
the mid 1980s 
at around that time they left their  
modest store on 
Redcar High Street 
and at least one of our Ricker's neighbours 
still works for them 
what we were getting to is that 
for a little while the unit was occupied by a 
gift shop 
it may now be  
KFC 
but it was a long time ago 
so knowing exactly is difficult 
what we are getting to is a line of merchandise that 
or a while was displayed in the gift shop window 
it was essentially pink and it 
featured a matchstick figure of a little girl 
and the legend was 
when I grow up 
I'm gonna be a nurse 
and see lots of men's 
willies 
as we sit here now 
we consider when will the pendulum swing back 
and what will  
schoolgirl stationery feature in 
twenty years' time? 
in the UK in the 1960s 
little children 
with large families 
children raised children 
without much adult supervision 
and little ones learned about 
gender difference and sex by playing 
doctors and nurses 
albiet that the nurses were girls and the doctors were boys 
and it was mainly about familiarising little boys with 
girl bits 
the standard was
and now we have 
sexting 
and still we do not have adult supervision 
but we do have 
police surveillance 
children use the internet to compensate for 
the relative absence of siblings 
brothers sisters cousins etc 
 we recall a BBC  
play for today from the 1960s 
about two men who had been at boarding school together 
and they had very different memories of 
night time wanderings into 
matron's room 
one had been in the habit of going there  
for hug to help with his homesickness 
the other had regularly gone there to 
stiff the matron 
at present we are somewhat adrift in these matters 
but the two men in this play were regarding the same woman 
very differently 
and in conflict over it 
say you are an important professional of 
South Asian extraction 
you are proud of your work role 
your family think you need to be married 
your family think you should have children 
your family think that you should only ever have sex 
in pursuit of children 
and so 
as soon as you have children 
you should not  
trouble 
the lady wife 
for more sex 
and so what does she do 
she - especially if she is not also a doctor 
she switches from being your sex partner 
to being 
your feeder 
and you become morbidly obese 
we have mentioned 
MILF 
before 
a MILF is a 
Mom I'd like to fuck 
a type of sex video focussing on the  
'mild perversion' 
the crazy thought 
that even after she has produced all the children 
she ever would want  
a woman may still be  
up for a seeing to 
Ricker does not buy every book he looks at in a shop 
he remembers a memoir of a  
vice squad policeman 
in one section the copper recounts his arrest of a man who 
had a girlfriend who had a daughter who was not his daughter 
and this chap had got into the habit of visiting his step daughter 
on his way to bed 
and chatting a bit and 
fingering her 
so he was getting nicked for having sex with a child 
what we should say is 
the girl protested that she did not want her step father locked up 
the question is 
how did the police find out about this activity? 
we have to assume that the mother rang the police 
we have to assume that the mother was happy to loose her boyfriend 
we don't know whether they were living in his house of hers 
perhaps she was willing to loose her home 
and possibly have her daughter taken into care 
just for the satisfaction of 
ringing the police for a whinge 
what is lacking is that initial sense of 
shrug, the girl got fingered, so what? 
from the police 
and the reason is 
process 
no judgement 
just process 
and once the process begins 
it no longer belongs to  
victim, perp, or witnesses 
it belongs to 
law enforcement 
and their question is not 
how will this affect the parties? 
their question is 
how will this be reported in the media? 
in a sense the media have killed the goose that laid the golden eggs 
at one extreme 
less people get married so that the media cannot 
tag a relationship with 
adultery 
and so the media plough on 
treating cases where none of the parties were married as 
adultery any way 
and the public don't give a click 
but for the media and law enforcement 
no matter how dry the well 
in terms of public reaction 
they still keep going there 
like the old talk show host Sam 
this letter has just flooded in 
and these days 
MPs 
are the most senior talk show hosts 
referencing constituency office eamils 
as their authority to 
try to vote down the Laws of Nature 
 
 
  
we think we should explain what 
cock a snook  
means 
cock a snook means 
thumb your nose 
just thought we'd clear that up 
 
  
When our Ricker was at school 
one of the lads in his year group was called 
Dyer 
Dyer was an OK guy if a bit  
over confident 
Dyer's claim to fame was that he was the only person we knew 
this is a long long time ago 
the only person we knew who had actually witnessed 
people having sex 
this bloke had been humping this woman in the street 
outside Dyer's front door 
in India 
and this is where we are getting 
Dyer in India 
General Reginald Dyer 
and the law of unintended consequences 
first we will say that 
when the suffragettes and suffragists were 
rioting for votes for wimin 
women had the vote 
they could vote people - including other women - 
on and off local councils 
votes for women was about  
women being entitled to vote in  
Parliamentary Elections 
and honestly that was coming whether or not 
wimin smashed windows or starved themselves to death 
being a suffragette was like being  
a football hooligan supporting 
Liverpool or Man City 
not Bradford Park Avenue 
the unintended consequence comes that in India 
Indian men had fought and died in the  
First World War 
for the Empire 
and didn't get the vote 
the women had worked in munitions factories 
and DID get the vote 
no home rule for India 
and so, bitter resentment 
another liberation movement 
The Indian National Congress 
or 
The Congress Party 
got stroppy 
April 1919 Congress announced  
big meeting in  
Amritsar in the Punjab 
The State Governor arrested the two main speakers 
cue rioting 
five Europeans dead 
and another thing 
for some reason the rioters didn't roam the streets 
they crammed into a walled courtyard 
when the local military commander ordered the troops to 
open fire... 
nowhere to run to 
500 dead 
officially 379 
and that was.. 
Richard Attenborough's 1982 film 
Ghandi 
and that movie became 
the official history of  
India in the British Empire 
and there was a 
Public Enquiry 
and some people thought Dyer had  
done the right thing 
King George the fifth's 
note the dumbing down here 
we assume King George V's would flummox you 
King George the fifth's deathbed scene is disputed 
there is a town on the south coast of England called 
Bognor 
at some stage it became  
Bognor Regis  
because some king - possibly George V 
went there a lot 
on his death bed some flunky tried to cheer him up by 
suggesting 
maybe soon we can go to Bognor 
King George V's famous last words  
in 1936 
 were  
Bugger Bognor 
officially however they are recorded as 
How goes the Empire? 
if you are a Geordie you may 'get' this 
just like 
tsunami 
becomes 
toon army 
we had Mohandas Gandhi 
known as  
Mahatma Ghandi 
and so we have - well had 
ma hat, ma ganzi 
need those in inclement weather 
Ghandi wanted home rule or independence but 
he was a big stalled over whether 
India should or should not be 
A Muslim State 
in essence 
Ghandi was against partition 
HE wanted an all India secular state 
other people were more interested in 
Partition 
than 
Independence 
it all got very troubled when  
The Labour 
lost the 1931 General Election and 
the National Government 
scrapped The Labour's plans for Indian Independence 
and then Ghandi got arrested again for 
telling Indians not to fight for the Empire 
in the Second World War 
that has to be seem as 
peevish 
not as support for Hitler 
remember 
no you never knew 
in 1933 the Oxford Union 
University Debating Society 
voted to 
Not fight for King and Country 
in 1935  
11 million people signed  
The Peace Ballot 
we see things differently now... 
in the 1930s 
The British saw that 
the outcome of the First World War 
had been very - perhaps overly - harsh on Germany 
in those days 
people in the UK saw  
Japan as doing  
what they see China doing now 
and 
they didn't care much about  
The Frozen North 
and Germany 
their main fear was that 
Mussolini 
Italy 
would turf the Brits out of 
Israel, Palestine, and Egypt 
and close  
The Suez Canal 
to British Trade  
all that stuff about 
dame Vera Lynn 
and Burma 
the movies tell us that 
the war in the East 
didn't start until 
Pearl Harbour 
the Brits celebrated 
V E Day 
but their eyes were always firmly on 
V J Day 
victory over Japan 
and in their hearts 
the Brits abandoned 
Hong Kong 
the day 
Enola Gay 
dropped her gift on 
Hiroshima 
since we have the numbers to hand
referring to Richardson asking,  
on a first visit to Newcastle upon Tyne 
where are all the bomb sites? 
during the Blitz 
18,800 tons of bombs landed on London 
152 tons of bombs landed on Newcastle and Tyneside 
there is a 'conspiracy theory' that 
the Blitz was not designed to destroy British Industry 
but to rid Britain of its slums 
in preparation for a German take over  
Glasgow and Liverpool - although ports - were the only 
other target hit with over a thousand tons of bombs 
apart from Plymouth - Devonport the British naval headquarters 
tht got 1,228 tons 
less thn Glasgow - 1,329 
and far less than Liverpool- Birkenhead, 1,957 
Sheffield 355
Birmingham 1,852 
and in deference to their bombed cathedral 
Coventry 818 
  
There used to be, and possibly still is a thing called 
Imphal Barracks 
In 1944 when the Japanese 
Invaded India 
The British and Indian Armies defeated the Japanese 
at the Battle of Imphal 
Th Chinditz 
were a specially trained unit 
something between 
the French Resistance and the SAS 
who were British, Chinese and American 
they landed behind Japanese lines and blew up bridges and such 
remember  
how little but ocean lies between japan and 
the American seaboard - California etc. 
where a lorra lorra ethnic Chinese lived and live 
 
while we're on 
relating to Redcar or Coatham 
just to skip back a while 
at some stage  
Cleveland Golf Course  
was cut in two - smaller half now abandoned 
by a new link road from the Kirkleatham Lane railbridge 
to the sea front 
the road is called 
Majuba Road 
 
think of the movie 
Zulu 
The Zulu wiped out an entire British army column 
at Isandhlwana 
the British had guns 
unlike at the Dardanells much later 
but they couldn't get their ammunition boxes open 
because  
they had  
brought the wrong spanners 
The Zulu went on  
no doubt chuckling themselves silly, 
at attack a small base at 
Rorke's drift 
and the British were not 
almost all Welsh as in the movie 
and they did better 
having found the appropriate spanner 
Two years later 
not facing 
fuzzy wuzzies 
facing Dutch Boer farmers 
we are presuming boer is Dutch for farmer 
British tactic - fusillade 
let 'em 'av it boys 
Boer tactic 
sniper fire from rifles normally used for hunting 
The Battle of Majuba Hill 
The British were slaughtered 
and those remaining 
pulled out of  
the Transvaal 
as fast as they could run 
and so 
Majuba Road, Coatham, Redcar 
is a War Memorial 
Transvaal had diamonds and still has/ 
and it was Dutch, not British 
British wanted it 
here comes your  
Liverpool FC reference... 
The Dutch 
got their retaliation in early 
by attacking the British bits of South Africa 
In 1899  
at the battle of 
Spion Kop 
the Boers slaughtered the Highlanders 
and cooped the British into 
Mafeking, Ladysmith, and Kimberley 
in time the numbers of British re-inforcements  
won the day 
but then we get to a  
Genuine British Baddie 
you seen those World War One posters? 
Your Country Needs You 
that guy is  
General Kitchener 
and it was his idea toherd all the  
South African Dutch together 
so they couldn't support and provision 
Dutch Terrorists 
and so he invented 
The Concentration Camp 
and they had some for  
The Dutch 
and some for 
The Blacks 
and they were as bad as the Nazi ones 
except for the gas chambers 
the inmates were left short of food 
for fear they would pass it on to 
the Partisans 
The essence of the Spion Kop massacre was that 
the Brits chose their 
camp site, in completely alien territory 
in thick mist 
and were astounded to wake up next day 
in the midst of the enemy 
The British are characterised as 
Lions lead by Donkeys 
but over and over again 
they get bailed out by their 
Boffins 
22nd June 2020  une 2020  
There are times when people say 
a bad workman 
blames his tools 
on the other hand 
right tools, right materials 
make the best job 
our Ricker bought a couple of cameras 
and some other kit 
for himself from Cash Converters 
for Christmas 
and lockdown has rather suppressed his 
learning 
these pictures show that it is very likely that 
the swans he wrote about just before lockdown 
did actually nest and rear young in Locke Park 
  
it's very easy to say that it was Ricker's lack of experience 
with his 'new' kit that caused these pictures of a heron 
to be of such 'poor quality' 
they are however 
very atmospheric 
capturing the vital moments of  
a heron catching fish 
with thousands of pounds worth of kit 
something for 
Springwatch 
may have been achieved 
but to him these shots are 
great 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
and this is dad off into the distance 
chasing geese off his pond 
and leaving the kids with mom 
  
 
 
  
sometimes we can develop a misunderstanding 
from other people's words 
when a black person or a person of colour says 
it is wrong that black history is not taught in schools 
in countries with significant black minorities 
we may interpret that as 
hey look at me, I'm an important part of  
this society too 
but what if they are saying 
I'm upset, I'm confused 
because I don't know why things are as they are 
the national education system has let me down by 
leaving me ignorant and  
in my amateur and immature way 
flailing around trying to fit the pieces together 
clearly the Romans and the Nazis did terrible things to 
slaves 
The Romans essentially bought slaves from 
pirates 
what may astonish some  
Black rights activists is the story of this chap 
called something like Pick 
who had a statue in Washington DC 
what almost nobody knows is that 
this chap was based in the mid west 
not the south 
and he did something quite unexpected 
from a modern perspective 
he was recruited by the South  
we think that's the Confederates 
to try to link up with the 
First Nations People 
we guess in the mid west and the west 
to join the Confederacy because 
BECAUSE 
First nations people 
owned slaves 
and his legal work was  
helping first nations people sue the  
Union Government 
either to keep their slaves 
or keep their lands 
whooda thunk it 
what we haven't figured out is 
did Red Indians and Eskimos  
have black African slaves 
or did they enslave members of 
other first nations tribes? 
it seems to us that the whole point of 
living on a reservation or in Alaska is 
there are no laws 
and so we had to get into the origins of 
Indian 
and here we get into 
Sanskrit 
in Sanskrit, sindhu is the word for river 
Hindustan is a name applied to 
the upper valley of the river Ganges in India 
and Hindi is a language spoken in  
northern India 
which is a combination of 
German and native Indian influences 
and  
caste 
is one of the four traditional hereditary classes 
into which society in India 
is divided 
does a young person of South Asian ancestry 
living in the UK 
and learning nothing of Indian History from 
an objective state education source 
assume that the caste system in India was invented by and imposed by 
The Colonial British? 
and here we come to the problem of 
time 
back in the day 
if you were smart you did French 
if you were thick 
you did French Studies 
and French Studies didn't involve any of 
the lingo, just the culture, taught and examined in English 
and then the fuck wits in Wales decided to 
take up classroom time 
teaching Welsh the Language 
and not Welsh the culture 
in all Welsh Schools 
like teaching by  
Rote learning 
selections from a book about Islam 
written a few thousand years ago 
and again 
not in English 
even though 
they will understand English in China and Brazil 
but not Sanskrit 
or Arabic 
it's not English cultural colonialism 
one third of English is Latin and one third Greek 
and sod all is  
Old or Middle English 
English accepts the words as they originate from other languages 
robot is English but it originates from Polish 
so if you want a 
a Welsh word for robot 
you are not cocking a snook at English 
but Polish   
if you didn't have a word for robot 
before the word was developed in Polish 
then inventing an alternative word for robot is 
not 
protecting your cultural heritage 
as with 
put wood in t'oil 
being a traditional cultural variation on 
close the door 
preserving traditional variation is 
constructive 
constructing a  
Tower of Babel 
is 
racist 
as in the arsehole creeping nonsense of 
The French 
insisting on referring to 
NATO 
North Atlantic Treaty Organisation 
as 
OTAN 
Organisation Treatysome of the Altlantic of the North 
Cheese Eating Surrender Monkies 
reference to De Gaul and the Free French 
Marshall Petine was it? 
Reject English but 
surrender to the Germans 
people don't choose their skin colour 
but they do choose to become morbidly obese and 
they do choose to take up their children's time  
learning things - including languages - that are 
not main stream 
and then want? 
extra marks in their main stream studies to 
compensate for the time they have spent 
polishing their cultural traditions 
like 
I should get extra marks if my exams are during  
Ramadan because 
the fasting makes me light headed 
 
 
  
a couple of economic notes from Redcar 
it sounds as though the oil cracker is  
back on line after its 'overhaul' 
and that is in line with the doubling of motor traffic 
since the early days of lockdown 
The leftists always want to 
get their retaliation in early 
pre-write their 'news' items 
so for the hacks with all the stories about 
Cash Converters 
and prized X boxes being traded in to 
put food on the table 
we can report from 
 Redcar Cash Converters 
that the first day of 
non-essential shop opening was 
a bit hectic 
but the rest of the week was 
'pretty quiet' 
 
 
  
a few years ago our Ricker was on some sort of  
web forum 
he was mainly reading other people's stuff 
but he did get into a few exchanges 
he gave up after a while 
he came away without a direct quote but 
with the distinct impression that 
if he'd studied something along the lines of 
Hindi 
and not French 
he would have been a shew in for med school 
as a society the UK 
and we do doubt that the UK is a nation 
it is more like a 
venue 
as such, despite this, whatever it is 
it does seem to be 
getting a bit ahead of itself 
problem solving, done 
the thing of the day is 
sales, promotion, education 
hence 
doctors with 
empathy 
not  
insight 
 
  
Here's a little challenge to 
BBC news editors, script writers 
would you ever say 
the child was separated to his mother 
you would say 
the child was separated from his mother 
so why in God's Name 
would you say 
The Imperial study is separate TO the Oxford study 
spit feathers ain't in it
  
at the same time we have a clarification to make 
long long ago we published material about 
not having patients sitting up because they drown in  
their own saliva 
we were giving public service advice for 
normal people 
at that time we did not know that the majority of 
'working age' CoViD-19 patients are 
morbidly obese 
long ago, as opposed to long long ago 
we explained why the morbidly obese have difficulty breathing 
per se as they say 
we did not link these items 
for most people the failure to  
achieve a productive cough 
is their main risk 
for the morbidly obese 
CPAP or whatever it is 
that keeps the patient conscious 
not intubated and sitting up 
allows that blubber to sink into their hips 
and if they are conscious and not packed full of antosins 
they will cough 
 
  
we need to add something to comments 
quite a lot lower down 
relating to vaccines 
we need to explain that 
if you take the likes of 
tobacco masaic virus 
and tack on some element of 
corona virus 
there may be an initial surge of 
helpful antibodies 
what is much less likely is that  
a human immune system will 
take a tobacco plant virus 
hostage 
and use it to keep up its defences against 
a corona virus 
and this could explain why many 
cobbled together 
viccines have limited success 
the ones that work well consist of 
inactivated virus 
not dummy virus 
and the other point 
to be of any use against a virus 
the effort has to be 
and extinction event 
a global extinction event for the virus 
not a long term expansion of human defences  
 
 
  
in the sort of on-going series of 
jottings from our Ricker's fractured memory 
important moments 
In Queen Street there are many houses 
one in particular was 
when Richer was at Primary School 
his father not yet retired 
but around the time Ricker had his 
face kicked in  
in the school playground 
for 
being too clever by half 
this particular house was arranged with its 
front room - downstairs 
serving as a sweet shop 
much like a part of Ricker's mum had had 
a sweet shop in part of her home 
when she was a little girl 
and one day the shop shut 
and then the  
Get Wet announced that the man who had 
helped his mam to run the shop 
had been  
kicked to death 
and the Get Wet opined 
what did he expect 
living with his mam and running a sweet shop 
any right thinking dad would kick him to death 
this kind of  
media stroke law enforcement  
pandering to the brain dead 
was naturally very influential on everybody 
not just the slowly healing Ricker 
as an aside 
the media have had an ongoing struggle with their 
one shared brain cell 
over how to 
calumniate 
now Ricker recognises the word  
calumnise 
never seen it expressed as calumniate 
calumny - false accusation, malicious slander 
how to calumnise these people with this 
new American import epithet 
paedophile 
without distressing the  
newest darlings of the media 
The Gays 
in the public mind 
gay men would want to recruit little boys to 
adopt a gay life style 
and any man who would volunteer to have the slightest 
contact with children 
was assumed to be  
out to convert them into gays 
here is the major conundrum 
anybody viewing this issue from the outside 
would say 
we the British have always had our suspicions of 
paedarasts 
men who chose careers as teachers in 
boys' prep schools 
men who liked little boys 
suddenly 
The Americans thrust into the media mix 
the concept of the paedophile 
men who like the company of 
children 
liking little girls was added to the list of 
traits not a part of a straight man's make-up 
and at at this time we still see women 
buying the idea that to snare a  
real man 
they have to install large lumps of silicone 
under the skin of their chests 
say you like big tits 
only females over 18 have big tits 
and the ones who don't should get 
plastic - cosmetic - surgery 
quite an enditement of  
American insecurity over 
gender identity 
these days in the UK 
broadly 
any men working in  
pre-teen education are employed to 
protect the 
wimin and childer 
from any parents who show 
male characteristics 
and show up at the school gates 
Ricker's local Primary 
looks for all the world like a 
cattle market 
for all the layers and layers of 
steelwork fences 
 
  
today, however, ricker set out to write about  
his mam 
his mam and JK Rowling 
for the most part, poles apart 
but in 1915 
George Robert and Eva Frank  
were pregnant 
and the little boy was 
stillborn 
and Eva was advised that the best wy forward was  
to get pregnant again as soon as possible 
and in 1916 
Eva May was born 
and she simply didn't have the plumbing to be 
a worthwhile substitute for her dead 
elder brother 
and as she grew up matters were not helped by 
the fact that her  
boy substitute role was picked up on by her 
school friends who didn't call her 
Masie as her family did 
but 
Frankie 
 this is all very well 
but the point we wanted to get to is 
we don't know what Masie's elder brother was callled 
and we don't know why he died 
what we do know is that if this had allplayed out in 
2015, not 1915 
it is almost certain that un-named son 
would have survived as a 
special needs child 
and George and Eva would have dedicated their lives 
to his care 
and never have 'tried for' another baby 
being so overwhelmed with the task of caring for  
their handicapped or disabled son 
and so 
through the 20th century we have 
a phase where there are families invested in 
daughters who 
we think in Redcar of Gertrude Bell 
are women who get opportunities in life that 
were not afforded to women previously 
because newly affluent middle class people 
find themselves with 
daughters and no sons 
and make the best of it 
and the best of it very often did not stretch to 
'making a good marriage' for the girl 
and then we see society 
schools 
randomly selecting girl pupils and 
without any significant consultation with the family 
fast tracking or shoe horning these girls  
into medical school 
and the like  
and getting the shock of their lives when 
at 14 they return from a  
'holiday' 
in the old country 
married to some peasant labourer 
three times their age who has 
already worked three wives to death 
we watched a TV show about 
King Tut 
The boy king of Egypt 
it was fairly clear that his left leg thigh bone had 
suffered a break at the growth plate 
leg bones have interstitial and appositional growth 
they grow in length from a plate near the end 
massive overgrowth 
and yet 
in the face of the evidence that he had an  
unsurvivable leg injury 
and he had the most aggressive form of 
malaria and he lived to the age of 19 
the commentary had to say 
because his mother and his aunt 
were the same person 
to died young from 
in breeding 
we do not 
follow the science 
if we followed the science 
if we followed the science 
many many women could have their dearest wish granted 
they would want their early experiences of sex to be with 
someone they trusted 
not some stranger who was 
available to marry them 
or a 'good catch' 
and the request 
fuck me daddy! 
could be routine and complied with 
so when the  
gay bashing slot 
is removed from the media template 
it has to be replaced with the 
paedo bashing slot 
 
 
  
what we find totally unacceptable is the case of 
professional footballer Johnson 
given five years because 
on discovering that his new girlfriend was 
a few weeks under age 
decided not to have sex with her 
what was in the brainless mind of the tril judge was 
the lad had fathered a daughter by a previous 
girlfriend and 
decided not to marry and divorce the mother 
thus giving his daughter child support 
but not giving somebody else's daughter 
the child's mother 
half of his worldly wealth 
it's all about the money 
he got five years  
not for not having sex with an underaged woman 
but for declining to marry his daughter's mother 
and fifty years ago... 
how would anybody know he was the girl's father? 
we just want to put down this marker 
it's a Roitt quote 
Figure 9.1 
Antigen drives immune response 
as the antigen concentration falls 
due to catabolism 
and elimination by antibody 
the intensity of the immune response declines 
here's the kicker 
but is maintained for some time 
at a lower level by 
antigen trapped on the follicular dendritic cells 
of the germinal centres 
in other words 
some antigen cells are kept as 
pets or hostages 
to keep the immune system's  
'hand in' 
extending the period of 
contamination response to 
a length more like 
long term, parasite response 
 15th June 2020  
we don't care to check sources when the source is 
less important than the quote 
in this vein 
we THINK this may be a quote from 
The American War of Independence 
we think one of the  
how shall we say 
conspirators 
said to the others 
Gentlemen, we must all hang together 
or else we shall all 
hang separately 
clearly a motto adopted by the 
UK Police Federation 
what we are saying is 
there are times when evidence has nothing to do with the case 
the idea is that  
every time a police officer is not 
defended in their  
right to do wrong 
society is adding to the concept 
to paraphrase the French police 
No Police - no peace 
for example 
statistics tell us that  
there are between 20 and 100 
heroin uses on Teesside 
and that these people are getting towards elderly 
hence, despite the fact that these people have been 
on crack for decades 
as they die from old age 
some will say that four or five  
geriatric smack heads dying every year 
means 
1 every year a quarter of drug users die 
2 if it were not for the efforts of the police 
Teesside would be completely depopulated in five years 
here's a police style statistic 
the average intelligence of the general population is 
lower than the average intelligence of police officers 
hence 
all police officers are smarter than everybody else 
and should be in charge 
of everything 
  
now we will take you back to around 1960 
we refer to Ricker's dad Tommy 
this will stun and amaze you but 
Tommy and his fellow company directors had 
Triumph Vitesse motors for their company cars 
for reference 
1960 - running cars weighing 17 cwt - around one tonne 
with six cylinder 90 BHP - horse power - engines 
Tommy's boss was George Hodsman 
He was the chairman 
his sons were - along with Tommy - directors 
the directors - mostly not George 
would entertain customers to lunch 
we talking The Swan Hotel 
The Vane Arms 
Tommy would tip his drink 
into the potted plants when nobody was looking 
we guess Paddy - the 'boys' were called Paddy and Hill 
we guess Paddy didn't do that 
Paddy lost control of his flying machine on 
more than one occasion 
had to have his scalp sewn back on once 
on such occasions he would be taken to the local 
cop shop 
now our Ricker is no stranger to custody suites 
but they are a little different these days 
back in those days 
if you went into a police custody suite 
you found the 
Police Benevolent Fund charity box 
stuffed it full of notes 
and got kicked out for your trouble 
out to the street 
not the cells 
 
  
we have to comment at this time about 
Life of Brian 
and the question 
What have the Romans ever done for us? 
apart from the roads 
and apart from the drains 
and apart from the food 
and apart from the clean water 
and apart for the holidays 
and apart from 
one of the classic realities is 
America gets it's independence 
and follows up with a civil war 
'India' gets it's independence 
and partition into 
India and Pakistan 
and Pakistan gets it's independence 
and there is partition into 
Pakistan and Bangladesh 
elc etc 
latest is 
wherever the Ang Sang Su Chee 
country 
Rohingas 
being ousted after independence 
we would  
if we were out and about 
include a picture of the statue outside 
Teesside Crown Court 
not a blindfolded woman 
holding up a set of scales 
the scales of justice 
a woman holding up  
by the scruf of the neck 
in one hand a little boy 
and in the other hand a little girl 
who are bawling at each other 
the idea that all was sweetness ond light in 
parts of the world distant from Britain 
before the British arrived 
is tosh 
on almost all occasions 
the British granted independence when 
the locals finally fixed on a decision that 
they wanted it 
we saw this item about some place where a lot of 
our coffee is grown 
it pointed out that 
the people who now cultivate that coffee 
are in no way, in the slightest 
British 
but they moved to that area less than 
one hundred years ago 
The British contributed  
Greenwich Mean Time 
and the Harrison clocks 
and James Cook drew maps and charts 
all making worldwide navigation and trade possible 
and some of the lower ranks behaved very very badly 
but James Cook was killed by 
Native Action  
on a far away beach 
and so there is some case for a comparison with 
tourists being shot up by 
people opposed to 
modern life 
on foreign holiday beaches 
regarding slavery and the definition there of 
we would refer you to the 
Bosman Ruling 
you will be familiar with the idea of 
the transfer window in soccer - football and 
the Bosman Ruling put an end to the idea that 
a football club could  
sell a out of contract player 
to a rival club 
it did not put an end to the convention that  
a club can sell a player who is 
in contract 
to another club 
in slavery terms this is 
selling down the river 
slaves had a better life the further up river 
mainly the Mississippi 
that they lived and worked 
a slave who disobliged his or her owner 
could be sold to a slave owner nearer to the sea 
where life was harder 
almost everybody has a 
contract of employment 
it is not the existence of the contract that is 
a matter of contention 
it is the TERMS of the contract that matter 
a lot of 'protesters' are young people who are 
behoven only to their 
doting parents 
and so have very advantageous 
life terms and conditions  
 
 
  
in the short term we owe this Sam to 
the show Kindig Customs 
but we doubt it originated there 
The Dental Sam 
I like my women like my dental floss 
waxed and minted 
we were thinking at this time about 
this question 
many major religions specify for their adherents 
a period of fasting 
taking the UK Christian religions as an example 
Lent is arranged in the year 
for those who don't know it's from 
Pancake Tuesday to Easter Sunday 
arranged at a rime of year when  
food is in short supply anyway 
winter stores used up 
and perhaps it has been seen as 
making a virtue of necessity 
a cover for poverty 
but that may not be entirely the case 
if we were fully up and running we would find out 
the details here but we are thinking about cartoons 
by Gillray or some such of some king 
probably a George 
and also thinking of pictures of 
Henry the eighth 
in later life 
grossly over weight 
and the only people we see today 
looking like that 
live in 'deprivation' on Sink Estates 
and so 
perhaps there traditional periods of fasting were 
 always designed to give people's bodies a break from the 
as we say 
incessant gorging 
and in the case of Christianity  
get people's bodies fit for the  
farm work of spring    
 
we have a Ricker story about Lent 
at about the time that Ricker was moving on from having all 
his food cooked for him by his mother 
to cooking his own supper from 
Vesta freeze dried meal kits 
his mam volunteered to cook him a  
last supper before Lent 
and it was  
chips 
and it wasn't very nice 
his mam had had this genius idea 
she would put Ricker off chips for a month by  
cooking him 
turnip chips, not potato chips 
and we mean French Fries here 
 
  
we may ask 
the reason why elderly kings become 
grossly overweight is because they are fed  
using the best of ingredients 
prepared for them by the best of cooks 
is there a link between that and 
significant mass ill health being linked to 
highly processed food? 
the second group of over weight people in history were 
cooks 
constantly tasting and nibbling and not being 
served meals 
when food comes straight out of the 'fridge 
or from the freezer via five minutes in the microwave.... 
consider kids no longer outside having adventures 
and discouraged from too much  
screen time 
they are constant fodder for the  
feeder who gets their 
carer fix 
in ten seconds  
from the 'fridge to the kitchen table 
and the glow from seeing 
the little ones 'tucking in' 
fades so quickly 
 
we therefore consider that  
treating 'the deprived' 
 like RoyaltyBR>
is  
Killing them with kindness 
 
  
in April 2020 
in the almost total absence of 
rail commuting - trains, tubes, metro 
the size of the UK economy 
reverted to what it had been in 
2003 
what we are unlikely to discover is 
what would the economy's growth rate from  
April 2020 onwards have been 
if commuting to London and within London had 
ended permanently? 
what will be interesting to see is 
how much did UK GDP 
Gross Domestic Product 
change 
between 
April 2020 and May 2020? 
what if/ 
what if it grew by the same amount - per centage 
as it did between April 2019 and May 2019? 
the Governor of the Bank of England today 
spoke publicly about  
instantaneous micro-metrics 
in other words  
HE KNOWS NOW 
how much GDP changed between April and May 2020 
and he will have told the Treasury 
and if it grew substantially 
government will not be fretting about 
getting people back on buses and trains 
and apparently... 
they are not 
insisting on face coverings  
as 
a public health measure 
not so much 
 a confidence boost 
we are very overworked and we don't check our metrics 
we do however believe that over time this has become a  
more widely referenced platform 
and so our policy of saying 
so few people will read this, 
it's not necessary to get permission to 
name names 
should be reviewed 
abd so we will depart from 
transparency 
and the cloak of 
semi-fictionalised 
and re-tell old stories without names 
but first a new one 
consider a little girl of six or seven years 
two parents 
dad takes ill and spends a lot of time in hospital 
eventually he returns home - alive and quite well 
happy days 
consider two photographs 
one before hospital and one after 
before hospital both parents are 
beyond morbidly obese 
after hospital dad is a normal weight 
forget gastric bands 
think Hotblack Deesitu 
a fictional - Hitchhiker's Guide - tycoon 
who spent a year dead for tax reasons 
take deprived people and 
put them in an induced coma for three months 
to stop the bastards 
incessantly EATING 
and get their bodies back to a weight where  
they can breathe unaided 
 
  
say you were a moderately smart but not  
massively well educated police officer 
your sister gets pregnant 
you use your influence to get 
your sister a job 
since you live in  
west Cumbria 
you get her a job as visitor centre manager 
at Sellafield nuclear re-processing plant 
and you get the father 
a job in the police 
well no - the father is already a police officer 
and already married and so not available to 
marry your sister 
and it gets fixed up for the girl - the daughter  
to do an optometry degree 
in London 
and since you have been so nice about the whole thing 
they make you - briefly, for pension reasons 
chief constable of Scotland's Highland Region 
before all the regions were merged into 
Police Scotland 
and then the daughter decides to  
change her name from  
her mother's surname to her father's surname 
and your father fixes it for the court to 
serve a notice on the daughter's friend from university 
never to contact her again 
this is your problem 
the sending to university 
wasn't a sending to university 
it was a sending to London 
to Farfaraway 
and the astonishment, the hurt, the crime 
this boy, this university 
has caused this girl to 
want a graduate for a partner 
not a  
rather in the spirit of 
a Good Jewish Boy 
a Nice Young Copper 
university life has 
ruined the girl for  
domestic bliss in the home of Plod 
but the boy is an easier target 
he has ruined the girl's life 
because she 
can't forget him 
that's the World According to The Filth 
 
  
we were thinking about referencing 
the police pandering to 
Daily Mail readers 
and we were stuck with how to spell that 
so we checked 
a panda is 
a racoon-like animal found on the  
south and east borders of Tibet 
no apologies to China for recognising 
Tibet 
a bear-cat 
and thus 
a red panda 
and so 
the black and white jobs? 
not pandas 
giant pandas 
not so cat-like 
and nothing whatever to do with 
PC Plod 
the police pander to bigots 
and that use of the word comes from 
male - pander 
female - pandress 
a go-between in base love intrigues 
one who ministers to the evil desires  
and passions of others 
to help satisfy any any unworthy desires 
from 
Pandarus 
in the story 
Troilus and Cressida 
how apt 
Cressida Dick 
London Metropolitan police chief 
 
  
we were a bit hesitant earlier about 
being beyond reproach 
we thought it may be  
Napoleon's wife  
but that's  
Not tonight Josephine 
moving on to the next lover 
it's  
Caesar's wife must be beyond reproach 
and that should apply to 
law enforcement 
we accept 
you can't argue with stupid 
but it does appear that 
law enforcement have heard of neither 
Caesar's wife must be beyond reproach 
nor 
The Boy who cried Wolf! 
in the UK automatic support of law enforcement 
 seems to have shrunk to readers of 
The Daily Mail 
and 
The Mirror 
and that demographic seems to be shrinking 
but if they know about the Daily Mail 
it's not surprising that with it's 
mainly female readership  
they press the 
little girl lost button 
more and more people are turning to 
their insurance company not the police 
and as they are pressured for a 
crime number  
by the insurance companies 
people are more and more just 
cutting their losses 
I've used it a couple of times 
it's gone 
easier to get another one at my expense than 
tangle with law enforcement 
it really won't be long before  
the only people ringing for the police will be 
lonely widows 
even divorcees will have better things to do 
 
  
and so we have to put that into terms 
The Filth will understand 
around half the female population would 
these days 
think long and hard about contacting the police 
because 
they would be weighing up 
will they come around here 
search the place and find 
my vibrator 
and put me on the 
sex offenders register 
 
  
at this point we are drawn to two concepts 
noblese oblige 
throwing the baby out with the bath water 
to dig aa little deeper 
there are many elements in any story 
to take migrants as an example 
if this Dyson chap was famous for 
inventing the  
inflatable raft 
and one day 400 years from now there was a  
statue to him in some city square 
would people want to pull it down because 
quite a number of people who used  
inflatable rafts to cross the channel for 
purposes of illegal entry  
had fallen over board and drowned? 
the reason that two hundred years after a statue was raised to 
someone who founded a lot of 
improving institutions in the likes of Bristol was that 
at the time the statues were being raised 
a relatively small number of people were making a lot of money 
from their own and other people's inventions 
and the labour of many many people 
and there were few if any taxes 
and most tax was spent on the army 
and the purpose of the statues was to say to 
the newly rich 
if you give to charity 
we may raise a statue to you 
think on that 
and at that time 
a statue in a town square was more 
inclusive 
than a grand tomb hidden away in a local church 
oh yee who are without spot of sin 
you can always  
get an angle 
on somebody 
if you want to do character assassination 
it was 400 years ago 
most people did not write 
history is written by the winners 
we forget because we deliberately forget about Tyneside 
Was it Grey or Grainger 
probably Grey 
major abolitionist 
massive statue in Newcastle-upon-Tyne 
Newcastle University 
the only UK university to confer an 
honourary degree on 
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 
in person, during his lifetime 
on the other hand 
the American abolitionists 
were abolitionists because they  
could not use slave labour 
their economic set up was 
not based on 
people slaving away in the fields and open country 
the Northern Economy was based on  
more highly skilled factory work 
and factories concentrate labour and 
concentrated labour leads to 
unions 
slaves were dispersed around the countryside and not 
Organised Labour 
the north wanted the south to have to  
pay wages 
to level the playing field between North and South 
it is all but impossible to know how 
willing people in Africa 400 years ago were 
to travel to a new life in  
America and the West Indies 
it is informative to consider 
people these days are  
hell bent on getting from 
North Africa to London 
and they end up in Middlesbrough.... 
the message for  
statue toppling is 
Don't get famous 
just stick to getting rich 
it's safer 
there does appear to be a strain of 
if The British hadn't brought our ancestors here 
the Americans wouldn't be able to persecute us 
There's a street in Newcastle called 
Blackett Street
and some say 
it should be renamed because 
Blackett made his money from 
West Indian rum 
and it wasn't 
Fair Trade rum 
The British used  
Naval Power to make 
World Trade and Globalisation possible 
you sell wholesale 
you don't get retail prices 
providing a market 
is making use of an item 
but is it automatically 
exploitation? 
in New York 
traditionally 
almost everybody in law enforcement was 
Irish 
most of the psycho cops we hear about have names we may 
associate with 
Central and Eastern Europe 
the myth and folklore is that 
the Nazis decamped to 
South America 
but the entire Americas these days have an air of 
mid 20th century central Europe 
and the ritual 
Blame the British 
is misleading 
to say the least 
 8th June 2020  
we have quite a list of 
texts for the day 
lickspittal SkyNews 
little girl lost 
physician heal thy self 
fight fire with fire 
during this current health emergency 
billions of people around the world have shown 
public spiritedness 
social solidarity 
the one organisation paid to be 
public spirited 
the police 
have shown themselves to be 
conniving 
and 
self serving 
the core difficulty seems to be an error 
on the part of society as a whole 
fight fire with fire 
hire the scum of the earth to 
put a boot on the neck of 
the scum of the earth 
can't find trouble? 
manufacture some 
the supreme venality in this is Sky News and some  
print titles 
little girl lost sells papers  
drag up a 15 year old story 
that has had 
NO DEVELOPMENTS WHATSOEVER 
in the past THREE YEARS 
and use it to 
sell papers 
aggrandise some of the filth 
and  
distraction defend 
others 
no wonder the London chief of police is 
'depressed' 
the final text of the day 
agent provocateur 
in training 
some of the police are selected to 
throw the stones 
a little training exercise in 
Whitehall 
will attract media attention 
just utterly typical of the 
man bites dog 
journalism 
 we have learned to rise above 
 
  
Here's an idea we haven't seen 
when people use public transport 
they usually start and end their journey on foot 
for the most part 
bus stops and railway platforms 
at least at one end of the journey 
are open air 
not enclosed in a building 
with concern about transmission of viruses etc. 
we are surprised that nobody appears to have advocated 
open topped buses 
even open sided busses and trains 
just take out the windows 
as a start 
you'd need some really low flying aircraft 
to make that work for aviation 
but helicopters.... 
 
 
  
Our Ricker is very tired now 
and sometimes he gets cross 
and he has a problem remembering 
what he meant to say 
by the time he's got the kit 
up and running 
one idea that is available right now is 
the matter of  
economics 
people say that  
powerful people don't 
do detail 
we said something about economics being about 
calculating odds 
the underpinnings of this are a little more troubling 
some may think that this is about 
being lazy 
if your efforts are concentrated on  
predicting outcomes  
in a crisis 
then you are not much help in 
dealing with or resolving the crisis 
having a better understanding than other people of 
how things are likely to turn out 
is really a superset of the thing that 
in more recent financial history has been 
outlawed 
and named 
insider trading 
if people who are entrusted with 
the care of the nation 
divert their activities 
divert the activities of  
civil servants 
into providing the elite with 
insider information 
that is a severe breach of trust 
even worse 
the point of having 
inside information is to 
ensure that you 
come out on the winning side 
and at that deeper level 
in order for there to be 
a winning side 
there has to be 
conflict 
if your seventh son 
requires a luxury yacht of his own 
create a crisis from which you can profit 
in classic  
financial services lingo 
the mantra is 
churn means fees 
and so the extension of that is 
the accusation against  
Dominic Cummings 
is that he deliberately generates  
chaos 
to disguise change 
churn is activity where none is needed 
chaos is activity to 
disguise or distract from  
change 
not the same things 
opposites 
  
the other issue of the day that comes to mind is 
our Ricker's crusade against the 
got a problem? 
it'll be down to mutations 
brigade 
sometimes things just happen 
one of the things we can say is that 
quite a number of famous scientists 
died from cancer 
we won't fact check this 
we are thinking of 
Rosalind Frankline, Marie Curie, and  
some bloke who pioneered X-ray scanning 
Rosalind Frankline didn't really work with radiation 
but she did work with 
X-ray crystallography 
we will be a bit obscure - poetic here 
when Enola Gay imparted her 
 kiss to Hiroshima 
tens if not hundreds of thousands of people 
died 
Enola Gay's gift was white hot 
most of the people who died  
died from burns 
the mutations majors 
would expect that region of Japan to be 
over run with mutants and have 
world record levels of cancer 
it ain't so 
we've mentioned  
John Clough of York 
whose son Jack lived in Lazanby, Redcar 
drove steam trains 
including, occasionally, Malard 
we've mentioned tht in common with a lot of 
steam engine drivers he  
died from stomach cancer 
because the crew used to  
cook meals on a shovel in the fire box 
and after a risk assessment 
the railway company 
punched holes in the shovels  
to stop them 
with all that coal and smoke in their lives 
footplate crews didn't die 
in excess numbers from 
lung cancer 
but specifically from 
stomach cancer 
from constantly ingesting  
little bits of coal dust 
that chronically irritated and wore away their 
stomach lining and 
caused the cells of the lining to 
over-react to the erosion 
and perhaps it was when they retired and  
stopped scrubbing their insides with their food 
that the hyper-activity overshot 
perhaps 
coal dust imbedded in gut walls 
caused 
failure of contact inhibition cancer 
all of that  
ALL of that happened before 
labs could routinely check of 
genetic mutations 
and so 
the myth of the mutations 
was born 
Ricker is deeply indebted to his dentist 
sometimes just before an appointment 
Ricker gets a reminder text 
sometimes he doesn't 
he believes the staff just forget 
the current dentist did not work at that practice 
when it was first set up 
the building is an old old terrace house converted 
it was set up - converted - by a now retired dentist 
Herbie 
and was an NHS practice transferred from rooms above 
Goodswens butchers on the High Street 
Herbie was a man with a first degree in 
Chemical Engineering 
re-trained as a dentist 
and so as an engineer he wanted his  
Pink Palace 
to be built and engineered to the highest standards 
the standard response from staff to patients  
enquiring about a missed reminder text is 
oh , it's really hard to get a signal in here 
the walls are lined with lead 
to keep the X-rays in 
it seems qute plausible that Herbie had 
expanded steel mesh embedded in the plaster to 
form a Faraday cage to keep things safe 
but the idea of 
the entire building 
including the reception area 
 being lead sheathed 
like a church roof 
is a bit like overkill 
but that's nothing to the lengths people have gone to 
to re-assure neighbours when building 
proton therapy units 
people get really really fixated on something and 
to hell with evidence 
'out of an abundance of caution' 
there is another epidemiology story around 
radiation 
back in the day 
there was quite a fashion for 
watches with luminous dials 
no batteries, no LEDs 
the numbers painted on with 
radium lacked paint 
and the story is that the women who  
painted the numbers on the dials 
got jaw rot 
from constantly  
drawing their paint brushes through their lips 
to make a fine point 
whether they had more jaw rot than other people of 
their socio-economic background is not clear 
most women seemed to have 
all their teeth out  
as soon as it was free on the NHS 
fifty years ago 
it was almost universal for 
lab tecs to walk around with 
X-ray dosimeter badges on their  
lab coat collars 
you rarely see that these days 
and Ricker has seen footage of 
a CAT scanner being 
demolished 
after decades of use 
no measurable hazard 
 
on the other hand it just  
beggars belief 
to see people who are 
morbidly obese 
being warned that they are in danger of 
starving to death 
 
 1st June 2020  
and now we do the 
Modern History bit 
although the miners wanted to 
hold the nation to ransom after the end of the 
Second World War 
the 1960s  
The North Sea gave up 
Natural Gas 
from the early 1970s 
but the government didn't have great confidence that 
The North Sea would yield all the oil and gas 
the UK would ever need 
when the oil and gas first started to flow 
some people wanted to know 
will the UK be applying for membership of 
OPEC 
Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries 
the thing was 
The Ayrabs have got all this oil and gas and no 
use for it 
so the bit that did not apply to the Uk was 
Exporting 
just exactly why the government thought we had less 
oil and gas than we had coal... 
not clear 
and then we discovered Norway owned half the 
North Sea petroleum anyway 
so the policy was born 
crawl up the arse of the ayrabs 
to ensure petroleum supplies for ever 
now we see  
gen3 energy on the horizon 
generation three 
coal, oil/gas, alternative 
and we've got so far up ayrab arses 
we are having trouble climbing back down again 
and so to return to F1 
we see that Williams F1  and associates is  
up for sale 
if we were the Italian Government 
given that now 
Ferrari 
is a busted flush 
we would give 
Pagani 
a couple of billion euros 
and tell them to buy and fund Williams 
and stuff the FIA 
and the fact that this hasn't happened 
means it's petroleum 
not Ferrari 
that's a busted flush 
 
  
Time is moving on now for our Ricker 
and thinking back and repeating or revising 
earlier writings begins to seem more acceptable 
 
William Robson 
lived from  
1863 to 1948 
he may have lived longer but for circumstance 
but perhaps our Ricker would not have been born if he had 
every day 
literally to his dying day 
William Robson 
who had been born to Thomas William Robson 
and a wife born a Baker - nee Baker 
on Low Houslop Farm, at Tow Law 
near Wolsingham Grammar School where he studied 
he had walked every day from Low Houslop to school and back 
and in his old age he replicated that walk 
by walking from his home in 
Haverton Hill 
to 
Cowpen Bewley 
and one day, on the return 
as you left Cowpen he lost the shelter of 
a six foot high boarded fence 
he had not prepared hin
mself for the loss 
and the wind blew him to the ground 
he was dead from the cold before anybody 
found him 
not easy to spot in the drifting snow 
and William had several children but 
Tommy 
Tommy hero worshipped William 
his father's death shattered Tommy's world 
Tommy had been born in 1897 
by 1948 Tommy had two sons and a daughter 
Tom Gordon born 1924, Peter born 1926, Patricia Maureen born 1934 
Tommy was out of the house up to 19 hours a day 
how much of that time he spent at work 
and how much with his father we cannot say 
but his sons were not living at home at the time of 
his father's death 
they were not living anywhere near home 
at a time when travelling the length of the country  
in a single day was epic 
Tommy had left school somewhat after becoming 
14 year old 
somewhat after because he attended 
High Clarence? 
school 
and after exceeding school leaving age 
he stayed on for a while as a  
monitor 
a sort of unpaid class room assistant 
Tommy's sons graduated from universities 
Tommy loved learning and resented his sons' opportunities 
quite a lot 
not long after Tommy's dad died Tommy gained a  
third son by a second wife 
and he is our Ricker 
we have recently said that  
Peter  
worked for Maxwell Batley 
when Ricker was around mid teens 
Tommy and Peter fell out 
perhaps one last time 
over our Ricker 
they both wanted Ricker to live with them 
and Tommy won 
and so later when Ricker needed Peter for 
career help 
Peter a partner in Maxwell Batley! 
the best he could do was an interview with the 
Northamptonshire coroner 
for a job that was already filled 
for those who don't care 
we should say that at the time 
the time when Ricker was a young man 
Maxwell Batley were 
Privy Council agents 
and had offices in London, America and Japan 
Privy Council agents is like a sort of barrister 
if you need to petition the Privy Council 
only certain law firms  
have audience 
our Ricker hasn't kept up with Maxwell Batley history 
but he understands that they some time ago moved from being 
commercial lawyers 
to being 
personal lawyers 
having individual not corporate clients 
our Ricker remembers his last meeting with Peter 
it was at a wedding 
Peter was still defending his friend at 
NatWest bank 
said whatever happened, happened below his pay grade... 
but just to show how long ago this was 
Peter's last apparent dig at his dad 
attempt to impress our Ricker? 
was to drop the name of his 
possibly last client 
Kerry Packer 
a sort of cross between 
Rupert Murdock and Donald Trump 
and so 
we can say 
by choosing his mam and dad over his brother 
our Ricker - as a teenager - condemned himself to 
internal exile 
Up North 
 
for editorial balance we have to note 
from a combination of published information and 
personal communication 
we are not clear whether our Ricker's exile was 
personal to him 
or the result of his association with his friend 
Jane Rowland 
as we have previously said 
her non-appearance on Tiny's Wikipaedia page 
is curious  
we checked once and couldn't find him in  
Who's who 
either 
folk won't remember how 
the establishment 
The Management 
is that Hale and Pace? 
decided that Mohamed Al Fayed 
and not Tiny Rowland 
should buy  
Harrods 
 
  
there was a system back in the day where 
A levels were entirely about  
University Entrance 
and in a sense if you were an oik 
you studied for and sat 
JMB 
Joint Matriculation Board 
that was the entrance exam board for  
five universities 
we know they included  
Sheffield and Leeds 
the others may have included Liverpool and Manchester 
so if you were the one guy in the class who was 
taking JMB and applying to 
Oxford or Cambridge.... 
not so good 
not doing their entrance exam 
however, what we do recall is  
schools entered pupils for exams 
not parents, not pupils 
even though the pupils were 
18 or 19 years old 
and there was a strange anomaly 
the pupil - student - was expected to turn up for and take  
the exams they had been entered for 
and schools made university applications on behalf of students 
and wrote anonymous references for students to universities 
the strange by-product of this was pupils finding 
a General Studies A level exam on their exam time table 
turning up and doing the exam and 
General Studies never appearing on their Exam Certificates 
as a subject 
one explanation is that this was some sort of 
insurance policy 
if you failed all your subject exams you could still attend 
Founders Day or whatever and be handed a 
General Studies certificate 
and so to  
Oxford and PPE 
Philosophy, Politics and Economics 
a kind of General Studies degree in which you could get 
First Class Honours 
even if that is not quite true 
many of the people who end up in government have degrees in PPE 
and if we ignore the PP bit 
the economics bit  
if the studies are taken at all seriously 
are really about 
applying statistics to futurology 
they push the nation's leaders into  
estimating what will happen next 
on the basis of what happened before 
in essence 
calculating odds 
that's what economics is 
and so a 'trained economist' is not interested in 
facts or logic 
but in 
odds 
chances, probabilities 
 
  
Sooo 
it's official 
F1 motor racing is now officially 
Banger Racing 
not so much 
run wot ya brung 
more 
run what you brought  
five years ago 
who wants to buy a car 
nailed together by a bunch of 
donkey jacketed thugs in Oxfordshire? 
that's what they used to say about 
British Leyland cars 
F1's going the same way 
where is the 
Alec Issigonis 
of Williams and McLaren 
and why is F1 so cheap? 
a bloke who sells sodas for a living can 
afford to run TWO teams 
there's more fun watching 
push bike racing 
sell it to the yanks, they said 
they got money, they said 
day by day 
dollar by dollar 
dreams dribble away 
so far as we know 
when F1 ditched tobacco advertising 
it didn't ban 
Petronas, Shell, Esso 
Esso is phonetics for 
SO 
ans SO stands for 
Standard Oil 
changed it like dropping 
Standard from Standard Triumph 
when standard stopped meaning 
exemplary 
and began to mean 
entry level 
why the hell aren't they each putting 
 a couple of billion a year into F1? 
we are left with 
ABB or similar putting  
a couple of hundred quid into 
Formula E>BR>
look what the UK government can put into 
lockdown compensation 
and the attitude of 
oil giants to motorsport 
Ricker has got the hump 
he's now seem all the Fantomworks episodes 
no more Audrey 
it is very interesting how 
US TV executives see a series as pointless 
if there are no pranks 
what he found most amusing was the episode where 
he - the owner - couldn't fix a  
Morgan 
because he didn't get Audrey to 
email Morgan 
and he didn't see the  
kitemark on the windscreen that said 
it was toughened not laminated 
some glass is 
BOTH 
toughened AND laminated 
and you can't drill that either 
and - from another episode - glass doesn't 
snap around sharp angles 
seven screens to figure out you need to  
grind a right angle into glass 
but there is a more serious aspect to this 
people build up businesses and 
discover they can't run them any more 
so they sell the business and buy - build the 
cars of their childhood dreams 
however 
sometimes they don't buy a car 
they pay a PR or lawyer to 
re-establish the  
morality they were brought up with 
 
  
when we talk about 
globalisation 
we forget that we still have alive with us today 
the likes of our own dear - dirt cheap actually 
Ricker  
who are a bridge with a much more 
fragmented past 
when Ricker was a lad his dad taught him about 
gardening and two words from then have stayed with him 
gripe 
Ricker can find no reference to his dad's usage of the word 
the old saying was 
he calls a spade a spade 
not a shovel or a trowel 
Tommy understood two garden implements 
a spade and a gripe 
and a gripe was a  
fork 
a gripe was a gripe because its prongs could be used to 
spear something and get a grip on it that a spade could not 
the other memorable word from gardens - allotments - past 
is 
wickens 
wickens are a form of grass, a weed in the garden that 
has tough root style runners that 
have a resemblance to 
candle wicks 
so wickens was wick uns 
wick ones 
when Ricker started to get some other gardening information from 
the television and 
Percy Thrower 
he learned that people in the Great Beyond 
referred to wickens as 
couch grass 
and couch grass is where we want to be at right now 
how does a grass evolve to be so darned difficult to 
eradicate when poa annua almost leaps into the trug 
at the sight of a human hand? 
some weeds are easier to shift 
but they all seem to still exist 
until you bring in 
glyphosate weed killer 
some survive by being tough 
some survive by breeding like rabbits 
and so it is with germs 
some have grown up in the mean streets 
some are the social butterflies of the likes of 
Monaco 
if people and such develop defences against germs 
some of the germs will be just that bit tougher 
and the tougher ones will take over 
the world of germs 
as opposed to the world of people where 
they will find life increasingly difficult 
and get even more complicated as the selection pressure 
increases 
we want to comment about a couple of thing that 
require some basic information 
diphtheria is a bacterial infection 
'flu is a virus infection 
there are parallels however 
they are both initially infections of the nose and throat 
sometimes we expect the United Kingdom to be 
behind the curve relative to 
the United States (of America) 
we hve a little history regarding diphtheria 
we forget when small pox was declared the first and only 
infection eradicated 
the history of diphtheria in the UK is interesting 
taking data from 
G Dick 1980 Leiden University Press 
Immunisation 
the British began immunisation of mostly children 
around 1938 to 1939 
at which point there were 
12,000 notifications of diphtheria 
per  
100,000 people 
a serious problem 
by the time our Ricker was born in the 1950s 
there were almost none 
and so far as we know it has stayed that way 
in the United States we are not so sure about 
diphtheria vaccinations 
what we do know is that there is a very cheap 
antibiotic called erythromycin 
which our Ricker has taken a few times 
without problem 
and which is the indicated treatment for diphtheria in the US 
we don't have figures for diphtheria in the USA or worldwide but 
we assume it has not joined small pox on the 
extinct pathogens list 
the argument from the drug companies is 
some ethnic groups and enclaves 
specifically 
American Indians 
First Nations People  
refuse to take the erythromycin 
on cultural and religious grounds 
what is interesting is that this sheds light on the 
now on the back burner 
issue of herd immunity 
whatever proportion of people take erythromycin 
what they are doing is killing any diphtheria bacteria 
they are carrying at the time 
the book referred to above contends that 
the level of herd immunity achieved in the UK in the war years 
that wiped out diphtheria 
was 
75 per cent 
the stated problem is 
75 per cent of the nation is no good 
if zero per cent of an enclave have co-operated 
it is possible that there being a war on 
didn't get the national figure over 75 per cent but 
did force the enclaves into some level of compliance 
 
  
protection from different type of infection require  
different types of immune preparation 
defence against polio requires high levels of antibodies 
TB tuberculosis is a disease of a thing that is much bigger 
part bacteria, part fungus 
and to be ready for that you need 
macrophage-activating cell-mediated immunity 
  'flu can we include CoViD-19? 
you need  
antibodies  
AND 
cytotoxic T-cells 
and here's a completely different perspective 
cholera 
it's too late trying to tackle that with 
antibodies of cookie monsters 
the route to protection from cholera is 
cue the Actimel adverts 
antibodies need to be in the gut lumen 
mixed in with your food not your blood 
to inhibit the cholera from  
getting a foothold on the gut wall  
and gaining entrance in the first place 
friendly bacteria time 
gut flora extravaganza 
if it were not for the terrible toll  
in human misery and death 
HIV would be an entertaining curiosity 
HIV human immunodeficiency virus 
is an RNA virus 
but it does something quite spectacular 
when it invades a human cell 
it uses reverse transcriptase 
which it carries around 
to produce a DNA sequence that it inserts into the cell 
humans having DNA 
now this is not completely off the wall 
humans store information as DNA but they translate that  
information  
into instructions for cell activity 
using transcriptase 
human cells routinely have 
messenger RNA  
there is no such thing as 
messenger DNA 
HIV locks onto a host cell 
it releases 
single strand RNA 
it uses its own reverse transcriptase to 
coppy off 
double strand DNA from its RNA 
it gets the DNA incorporated into the human cell 
and then, dan dan darr 
nothing happens until 
years later  
the human cell decides to transcribe that area of DNA 
and it  
'thinks' it doesn't think it just is 
it thinks it's producing  
human messenger RNA 
and it's actually producing 
HIV RNA 
weird or what? 
and this does not happen just anywhere to any cell 
the human cells involved T-cells and are called 
phytohemagglutin blasts 
presumably the only human cells where this 
'trick' 
works 
you may have heard some talk about two populations of  
HIV positive people 
those who are positive for the virus 
and those who are both positive for the virus  
and 
suffer from the disease 
those with the disease have 
Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome 
it can be said 
somewhat inaccurately that 
people with HIV and no AIDS 
were infected by contaminated blood products 
more exactly, but not exactly 
if you have a lifestyle that constantly exposes you to 
Pneumocystis carinii, cytomegalovirus, Epstein Barr Virus 
herpes,  
and fungi such as 
Candida, Aspergillus, and Cryptococus 
and the protozoan, Toxoplasma 
then your modified CDA T cells 
are more likely to be switched on 
and start producing HIV particles 
it is very difficult to imagine that a health service that 
depended on buying blood products from 
street sleepers would  
engineer such as pathogen to wipe them out 
but it is a quite extraordinary story 
the reason why we know HIV wasn't engineered is that 
it was only the names HIV and AIDS that came about  
whenever they did in the late 20th century 
the disease was long known as endemic 
local to 
parts of Africa 
and known as 
slim 
  
and the other interesting virus we 
 previously made passing reference to is 
HPV 
Human Papilloma Virus 
and there is a link here 
a substantial minority of tumours - cancers 
arise from infection with 
oncogenic DNA viruses 
including 
Epstein-Barr virus - EBV 
in lymphomas 
and HPV in cervical cancers 
and RNA viruses in human T-cell leukaemia virus 1 
HTLV-1  
the dysregulated uncontrolled cell division of  
cancer cells 
creates a milieu in which 
the products of normally silent genes 
are expressed 
sometimes these encode differentiation antigens 
normally associated with earlier foetal stages 
in other words 
the virus switches - not by design 
jsut by being there
switches back on growth genes that were switched off 
but not destroyed 
way back in the womb 
and affected cells 
grow like Topsy 
and become 
a tumour 
 
  
be your own immunologist 
go to 
www.roitt.com 
We said we read books 
sometimes a quote and an acknowledgement 
is best 
just a side note first 
redcar.biz is designed for 
laptop viewing 
our.st is designed for  
smart 'phone viewing 
viewing redcar.biz on a 'phone is a bit of 
a pain 
OK  
the thing is 
pot calling the kettle  
black 
back from the days when both were heated on an 
open fire 
anyway, in this context 
doctors complain about patients who 
consult Dr. Google, the Internet 
the trouble is 
most doctors in Primary Care 
General Practitioners, Family Doctors 
these days say 
if you have more than one thing wrong with you 
make more than one appointment 
and then search the NHS for a protocol on the 
disease the appointment is about 
and so 
their response to a problem may vary drastically 
from one day to the next 
people who write textbooks 
need to be a whole lot more careful 
and so we make no apology for quoting from an  
immunology textbook written twenty years ago 
the one we are quoting from is a sort of 
programmed text 
version of the original 
somebody called 
Arthur Rabson 
has converted  
Ivan Roitt's  
Essential Immunology 
into a programmed text called 
Really Essential Medical Immunology 
and Peter Delves was involved in both books 
so the Mickey Mouse adaptation.... 
Tufts University, Boston 
the core material 
Royal Free, University College Hospital, London 
first quote 
Milestone 17.1 
In an attempt to confirm 
Paul Ehrlich's 
concept of 
'horror autotoxicus' 
the body's dread of making 
antibodies to itself 
Rose and Witebsky 
immunized rabbits with 
rabbit thyroid extract 
in complete Freund's adjuvant 
this procedure  
also done in rats 
resulted in 
resulted in the production of 
thyroid antibodies 
autoantibodies 
and 
 chronic inflammatory destruction of 
the thyroid gland architecture 
end quote 
in the current CoVuD-19 crisis 
there is talk of  
cytokine storm 
this is why we put 
transplant patients  
kidney being the classic 
on  
immune suppressants 
any kind of disturbance 
let us say 
chronic disturbance to distinguish  
a wound or surgery or 
metal or plastic implant 
from  
a chronic disturbance such as 
a chronic infection  
or the presence of a biologically active 
implant such as a kidney transplant 
with a biologically active  
chronic implant 
such as a chronic infection 
in the case of COViD-19 
a wart virus that penetrates to the lungs 
the secondary disease is 
autoimmune 
and far from 
boosting the immune system 
it needs to be calmed down 
and in the spirit of 
Walt Disney.... 
The simplest way to avoid infection is to 
prevent micro-organism from gaining access 
to the body 
the major line of defence is of course the skin 
that, when intact is impermeable to most infections 
Most bacteria fail to survive for long on the skin 
due to the direct inhibitory effects of the 
lactic acid and fatty acids in sweat 
and sebaceous secretions 
and the  
low pH 
high acidity 
they represent 
an exception is 
staphylococcus aureus 
which  
hair follicles, blackheads, acne 
mucus secreted by the membranes lining the 
inner surfaces of the body 
acts as a protective barrier 
to block the adherence of bacteria to 
epithelial cells 
microbial and other foreign particles 
trapped within the adhesive mucus 
are removed by mechanical strategems 
such as 
ciliary movement, coughing and sneezing 
plus ,BR>
flows of tears, saliva and urine 
natural chemical defences include 
acid in gartric - stomach - juice 
spermine and zinc in semen 
lactoperoxidase in milk 
lyzozyme in tears, nasal secretions and saliva 
in the vagina 
women, all females, benefit from a bit of a free ride 
works like this 
if you are not so stupid as to kill off your  
house guests 
they secrete lactic acid to 
repel gate crashers 
commensal organisms - your house guests 
metabolise glycogen secreted by 
vaginal surface cells - epithelia 
into lactic acid that deters, destroys 
foreign biota 
that may stray there 
and so 
if you overdo the antibiotics... 
protective commensals are disturbed 
and things you don't want get a foothold 
classically 
Candida albicans 
thrush, darling 
and  
Clostridium difficile 
The perceptive Russian zoologist 
Elie Metchnikoff 
1845 - 1916 
recognised that certain specialised cells 
mediate defence against microbioal infections 
so fathering the whole concept of 
cellular immunology 
1882 he shoved rose thorns into 
star fish larvae 
and because these larvae are transparent 
he could see that 
there were cells in the larvae that could move - motile 
and there moved and surrounded the rose thorn 
that set him off on studying more complex animals 
and he ended up with two types  of 
cookie monster 
both polymorpholeucocytes 
microphages 
and  
macrophages 
here is another important matter 
we said T-cells are born in the bone marrow 
what we didn't say is 
they 
share a common haem(at)opoietic - blood forming stem cell 
with the other formed elements of the blood 
all the cells - including the RBCs - bud off from the same  
mother cells 
and  
mother can't make RBCs at the same time as cookie monsters 
so 
cookie monster birthrate up 
red blood, oxygen carrying corpuscle birthrate down 
and neither live for very long 
RBCs up to 80 days 
similar for cookie monsters 
the exception are 
the long-lived  
mono-nuclear phagocyte system 
to simplify 
the poly go for the things that 
blunder in and make a mess 
the mono go for the 
entrenched parasites 
and as we have said 
spleen 
lymph nodes 
also  
lung, liver(Kupffner cells) 
  we expect your eyes have glazed over by now 
but we may return to this if 
the people from 
The University of Betty's Tea Rooms 
publish any more bullshit 
27th May 2020  
It's called 
Group Think 
it's also called 
FOMO 
fear of missing out 
we've tried to be nice 
to drop hints 
to use  
nudge think 
here is your scenario 
the one you haven't thought through 
kids in Primary School 
a dozen or so at a time 
one in the pack is 
snottered to hell 
picking their nose 
blowing there nose 
putting their hands in their mouth 
you send them home 
no prob 
would you ask them to 
wash their hands in your school 
before they leave? 
another kid shows no particular signs but 
is infected and has been  
picking their nose and putting their hands in their mouth 
when you say 
scrub your hands 
it suggests 
to the kid in us that 
hand washing is a 
vigorous activity 
so if you are a kid you 
turn the taps  
FULL ON 
water splashing everywhere 
then the kid  
adds virus to the splashing water and 
the kids using the sinks 
either side of them 
breath in the deadly elixir 
stick to the alcohol wipes 
if you have a religious objection to 
ethanol 
spectacle cleaning wipes use 
iso-proply alcohol 
test to see if that works 
 stop seeking 
homespun bastardisations 
of the scientific advice 
 26th May 2020  
interesting to see how so many really nice people 
in the media 
have never heard of 
Barny 
Barnad Cassle 
Barnard Castle 
some got it as  
Castel Barnard 
confusing it with 
Bamburgh were they? 
just to put the record straight 
it has, for news purposes, a 
Young Offenders Institute 
that used to be an RAF base 
regarding  
Dominic Cummings 
There's no fool like an old fool 
when an older man marries a younger wife 
there is a tendency for him to regard her as a 
daughter 
a Princess 
perhaps as a mistress 
rather than a partner 
for those who can afford this it has been in the past 
acceptable 
if you are regarding your wife as your daughter 
and her child as 
your grandchild 
especially if you work long hours 
you can become 
wildly over indulgent 
of your little family 
if the wife is, on top of this 
a first time mother 
all logic goes out of the window 
most people won't know what a 
PeLiCon crossing is 
it is a pedestrian light controlled crossing on a highway 
central York is a very busy place 
one day Ricker was about his business in York 
and about to use a pelicon crossing 
this bloke came rushing toward him 
setting off to cross the road 
against the lights 
and shouting 
I have a child, I have a child 
as though the universe would hear him and re-set the lights 
kiddies can really mess with your mind 
some call it  
Baby brain 
we have to make allowances 
up to a point 
 25th May 2020  
Oh Ricker in danger of having his 
thunder stolen 
T-cell 
a native T-cell 
 is a T cell that has  
differentiated in bone marrow and 
and then been tuned up in the  
thymus 
the thymus is a gland in the chest 
we are not in the business of going  
too deep into detail 
simly because we can 
there's a chicken and egg problem here 
B-cell lymphocytes produce antibodies 
T-cell lymphocytes are the cookie monsters 
there are loads of types of T-lymphocytes and they 
are born in the bone marrow and 
go to uni in the thymus 
as we get older our thymus shrinks 
as does our brain 
a major part of 
dementia  
is that our brains become 
ROM 
read only memory 
as opposed to  
RAM 
random access memory 
and so 
the University of the Thymus 
stops recruiting fresh tutors 
and they concentrate on 
how we fought the Boer War 
the chicken and egg thing is 
1 the egg came first because 
the first chicken egg was a  
mutant version of something that 
wasn't quite a chicken 
2 you get CoViD-19 if you are old 
you have a shrivelled thymus if you are old 
you don't need a blood test to know that 
your thymus will have dementia compared to  
how it was thirty years ago 
counting T-cells 
may be a semi non-invasive method of telling 
just how far your thymus is 
but an x-ray or scan would do that 
 18th May 2020  
we are not going to dispute that  
CoViD-19 
is a pandemic 
it could be said to be 
an epidemic 
in each country where it is occurring 
what is interesting is that 
linguistically 
to describe something as 
pandemic - as an description, and adjective 
as opposed to a noun - a thing 
is the same as describing it as 
cosmopolitan 
kosmos - the world 
polites - citizen 
both cosmopolitan and pandemic mean the same as each other  
and the opposite of 
endemic 
endemic means local 
it has come to be used to mean 
entrenched 
but it really means local 
and so.. 
why the yearning tp describe CoViD-19 as 
a pandemic? 
we have not seen the headline yet in print 
but we see it in the mind's eye of sub-editors 
PANdemIC 
pandemic contains the essence of 
PANIC 
the very stuff of headlines 
 
  
the Greek,  
honestly when we say that we don't know 
how much modern Greek differs from Ancient Greek 
but we assume we are meaning Ancient Greek 
the Greek for  
smell 
is 
osme 
and as the medical English is 
an osmia 
not  
a nosmia 
and for the same reason that it's 
an apple 
not  
a apple 
and presumably plastic surgeons have a term for 
Cirano de Bergerac syndrome 
is that correct 
straight off the top of Ricker's head??? 
there will be a medical term for 
having no nose 
if we were inventing one 
aproboscia 
however 
proboskis 
is Greek for trunk 
so  
a problem there because 
animals with a trunk 
have  
tusks 
and 
nasal 
isn't Greek 
it's 
Latin 
nasus nose 
if it's medical, if in doubt 
assume it's Greek 
given our Ricker's beginnings he can say  
with certainty 
all I want for Cwismas is 
me  ma two front teef 
so I can wish you  
a Mewwy Cwismas 
aproterodont 
means 
without a 
fore proteros 
tooth odos 
technically 
without pre-maxillary teeth 
 
  
there has been a little comment on  
CoViD-19 
that what is sauce for the goose
in the sense that  
whatever the logic behind deciding that 
the population must be protected from 
CoViD-19 
that protection is  
'really bad news' 
for a whole lot of other infections 
and whatever objections there may be to 
'un-natural medications' 
antibiotics, vaccinations etc. 
the antivacs don't seem to have got their act together 
to any significant extent 
to oppose 
behavioural public health actions 
lockdowns, track and trace etc>BR>
clearly they have objected but for some reason 
the mainstream media have not  
allotted them 
equal time and exposure 
on this occasion 
and so several infections may 
go the way of small pox 
as colateral damage 
as we write we stand at almost two thirds through 
the original 3 month CoViD-19  lockdown 
at this point we are thinking about a time 
1970 
fifty years ago 
and one third of the way from 
the start of the UK NHS and the present 
and so we are looking at some of the things that were written 
at the twenty five years in, stage 
Cyril A Clarke 
was then 
Head of the Department of Medicine and  
Director of the Nuffield Unit of Medical Genetics 
University of Liverpool 
he wrote 
Human Genetics and Medicine 
genetics is of increasing importance in medicine 
because more is known about the basic facts of 
inheritance 
and partly because  
with the control of many infections with 
antibiotics 
and  
public health measures 
genetic disorders 
are relatively more frequent than they were 
end quote 
this was a serious doctor and scientist 
speaking to us from hs time 
this will stand some textual analysis 
DNA and RNA stop being  
mystery stuff 
between 1952 and 1962 
if like Ricker you studied these things in the 1970s 
you did two separate genetics courses 
taught by different lecturers 
the old guys taught 
Mendelian Genetics 
the genetics of 
what gives 
Mendel was a priest who bred peas 
specifically 
wrinkled and smooth peas 
and the young guys taught 
Molecular Genetics 
the story of how it works 
nobody taught about how to do 
Gene Editing 
and so our Dr. is one of the old guys 
and so his line is a bridge between the two camps 
his line is  
1 infections are now under control and so 
they are not 
preferentially  
thinning out the genetic defectives 
'relatively more frequent' means 
say one in a thousand children born 
have a genetic disorder 
say nine out of ten of them 
die from measles before they reach school age 
and only one in a thousand kids without a genetic disorder 
die from measles before school age 
people over the age of five who have 
genetic abnormalities will be  
few and far between 
but if you remove infections 
they will make up an increased proportion of the population 
2 from the molecular camp he picks up on 
now that we know how genetics works 
and we can see that  
things that run in families are 
real, physical, chemical differences 
we cannot say that 
people with non-infectious diseases 
got them because they were unlucky 
or because their parents were poor and 
couldn't feed them properly 
he concludes that the  
new era role of genetics is to 
prop up 
genetic counselling 
and this is the area between 
knowing how genes work 
and
this is being able to  
detect genetic errors at an early stage and 
convince prospective parents to 
go for a termination 
most right thinking people would say 
and we are not entirely sure we can 
number Phil the Greek amongst these 
most right thinking people think 
we should eradicate pestilence - infections 
and not the genetically enfeebled 
and so 
in a sense 
between 
Watson, Crick, Frankline and Wilkins 
and the gene editors 
we had an era when we developed 
techniques along the lines of 
surrogacy 
and  
invitro fertilisation 
that's fertilising human eggs in a glass dish 
not up somebody's chuff 
that being 
in vivo 
within the living 
we have no evidence that the folks who have 
campaigned against 
antibiotics and vaccines 
were in fact 
modern day Spartans 
in Ancient Greece 
the Athenians - people who lived in Athens 
were the softies 
and The Spartans - people who lived in Sparta 
were the toughies 
Athens - Edinburgh 
Sparta - Glasgow 
so the legend goes that women in Sparta would leave their 
new born babies out exposed on the hillside above the city 
for a night 
and if they were alive next morning 
they were worth the trouble of raising them 
the professor was dealing with 
nature does not sort these kids any more 
because we have done away with infections 
1 we have to learn how to 
and  
1a we have to pay for 
lifelong care for the defective who 'should have' died 
 in infancy 
Gone and never called me Mother 
populations - communities with 
high infant mortality rates will have 
low CoViD-19 mortality rates 
  
however this is not so simple 
1 Hardy-Weinberg 
2 Huntington's Disease our man had that down as 
Huntington's chorea 
Hardy-Weinberg states that with certain provisos 
if two contrasting genetic traits exists within a population 
they will continue in the same proportions 
from generation to generation 
the major proviso is that 
the two traits was not subject to 
selective pressure 
and so  
brown hair, blonde hair 
but not brown hair, red hair 
nobody fancies a ginner 
we exaggerate 
to switch from Huntington's 
to pre-mature male pattern baldness 
some genetic defects 
don't manifest themselves 
until after you have bred 
so  
to be more serious 
you think you could handle a dose of that guy 
but you don't realise 
he and his (your) kids will be 
full blown demented 
before they is fifty 
nobody expects the young women of 
the 1970s to have faith in 
gene editing 
and so they were not keen on 
tests for the likes of 
Down's syndrome 
our man had quite a list 
Anencephaly, a no brainer, one in five hundred 
you do know why you have ultrasounds during pregnancy 
cleft palate four in ten thousand 
cleft lip, with or without cleft palate 
one in a thousand 
club foot, one in a thousand 
congenital heart disease, six in a thousand 
there are only three common birth defects 
that are more common in girls than boys 
dislocated hip 
curvature of the spine 
both six times more common in females 
spina bifida 
just more common 
and a 4th 
just more common 
manic depressive psychosis 
four kids in every thousand 
three girls for every two boys 
and a 10 to 15 percent chance 
if you produce one nutter 
all yer kids will be nutters 
whether or not you is normal 
there are more psycho women than psycho men 
women are just  
better at it  
the reason for genetic defects being more pronounced 
in males is that 
for most species, not just humans 
males are experiments 
the natural process is for a community to 
breed from  
most of its females 
and very few of its males 
the essential female role is to 
cop a dose of the  
most impressive bloke they can get their hands on 
but over time 
rather unimpressive specimens have 
developed the likes of 
religions 
to give the male dross - failed experiments 
a chance to breed  
in more natural conditions 
women want two types of men 
the impressive ones to 
harvest a dose from at the appropriate 
time of the month 
and a gay guy 
to act as a wife 
for the remainder of the time 
and by contrast.... 
schizophrenia? 
one per cent of babies... 
equal males and females 
14 per cent chance 
all your kids will have it if one does 
and an interesting aside 
in the UK there are normally 
half a million nutters walking the streets of the UK 
and they've all been under house arrest 
for the past two months 
where are the mass graves? 
have they been better behaved during lockdown? 
schizophrenia is now called 
bipolar 
nobody has said anything about whether 
lockdown is 
calming 
we would guess it is soothing for 
autism 
we saw one case where 
one bipolar subject has got by with 
two months of Sundays 
an interesting side line here 
Never in a month of Sundays 
back in the day 
people had children as a 
workforce 
an unhelpful child - not doing chores 
would be described as 
cheaper to keep a week than a fortnight 
applied to horses too 
and so 
the work value of an adult daughter 
versus the work value of a wife 
when a man sought permission from a man to 
marry his daughter 
the father would agre to  
offer his daughter's hand in marriage 
in exchange for 
the groom working a month of Sundays 
for the Father-in-Law 
the trick was  
a month of Sundays isn't 
the Sundays in a month - 4 or 5 
it's 28 to 32 Sundays 
the groom would work on the father-in-law's farm 
or in his business 
on 30 Sundays - his days off from his  
weekday employer 
to compensate for the loss of chores from the daughter 
somewhat different from 
I has two of everything 
I told you when I wrote 
but now I've one of 
nothing at all 
through 
Paddy McGinty's goat 
her trousseau 
eaten by a goat 
so we have 
month of Sundays 
trousseau 
and 
dowry 
take this good for nothing wench off my hands 
and I'll pay you 
please marry this bitch 
so her younger sister can get married 
Taming of the Shrew 
Kiss me Kate 
 
  
to return to the Hardy-Weinberg law 
this is the reason why there is almost always 
a replacement pathogen when we  
eliminate a threat 
the idea is 
every species has an range of 
ever present 
understudies - potential replacements 
we introduce a selective pressure 
the proportion of the  
traditionallly dominant variant 
goes down 
and the proportion of the traditionally sub-dominant variant 
goes up 
and if it was previously at  
almost undetectably low levels 
we think it is a  new mutant variation 
 
 
  
the most important thing about 
science 
and in particular  
medical science 
is that almost everybody picks up 
a smattering along the way 
and 
a little knowledge can be dangerous 
setting aside the plot lines of 
zombie movies 
people who have paid a little attention to 
news stories over the years.... 
think about all those kids who race go carts 
from the age of six 
and then have a super licence 
before they have a 
public highway driving licence 
and how they can relate to sharing the road with 
people who passed their test at the 
20th attempt in their late fifties... 
it is difficult to have a  
meeting of minds 
and so 
how do folk who trained as doctors 
to be one up on their pharmacist parents 
relate to problems in medicine that 
don't relate to drug selection? 
and how do real deal bio-medical scientists 
time was... 
people with bio-medical science degrees 
weren't allowed to be members of 
The Institute of Biologists 
because they were 
lab technicians 
not 
scientists 
how do real deal bio-medical scientists 
get inside the heads of 
clinicians and lab tecs? 
it ain't easy 
and so you have to put your 
couch potato head on 
and think  
what related news stories have I seen that these also people 
will have seen? 
and Ricker has come to the conclusion 
had the light bulb moment 
the epiphany 
if you know sod all about immunology 
and you were asked to recall a news story about immunology 
what would be the first one you can remember 
it strikes Ricker that a recurring theme in 
immunology news stories is 
the Boy in the Bubble 
kids who don't have an immune system 
or more recently have had it deliberately destroyed 
to counter an auto-immune disease 
if you were a boy in a bubble you would be 
helpless in the face of any infection 
we hear that story over and over again 
and so 
the amateur or dilettante immunologist thinks 
I have a functioning immune system but 
BUT 
if I haven't been vaccinated against 
the specific pathogen I face today 
then I am as defenceless as 
the boy in the bubble is 
whatever infection he meets 
and hence the headless chicken dismissal of 
all forms of defence that  
don't involve 
antibodies 
 11th May 2020  
it's often a bit uncomfortable trying to define 
democracy 
one definition is 
if I can't be 
King of the World 
somebody like me should be 
often the people of a country, population whatever 
who have a 
despotic leader 
are divided about his or her  
qualities and suitability 
and so another definition of democracy is 
as at present in the United States 
anybody born here 
can be elected President 
but not more than twice 
not for more than 8 years 
the real difficulty with democracy is when a nation is faced with 
complex, nuanced, decisions 
it is interesting that perhaps 
newspapers grew out of 
pamphlets 
flyers 
people who wanted to influence public opinion discovered 
literacy amongst the masses 
and discovered printing 
and put them together 
and then people got a taste for 
news and opinion 
and began to be a target market for 
advertising 
and to sell advertising you have to sell copies of views 
and so 
newspapers developed the technique of reducing every issue 
into a startling headline 
quite what the link is between that and 
police officers needing to have the mental outlook of 
newspaper sub-editors 
escapes us 
that having been said.... 
setting aside police officers and newspaper editors 
people are mostly willing to divide life's gristle 
always look on the bright side of life 
into 
problems for the pub 
and 
problems to leave to the experts 
most people don't have a category 
problems that must be  
dumbed down 
and every now and again Ricker writes something that 
has a complex back story 
and then gets interested in the details 
hence recourse to 
The Electron Microscope in Biology 
by  
A. V. Grimstone 
assistant director of research 
Department of Zoology 
University of Cambridge 
in 1968 
quote 
all viruses are exceedingly small 
but some are smaller than others 
a few of the larger ones can just be seen 
in the light microscope as minute dots 
but their shape cannot be made out 
and nothing can be seen of their 
internal structure 
before the advent of the electron microscope 
the shapes and dimensions of viruses had to be 
deduced indirectly 
for example 
by determining how fine a filter they would pass through 
or studying their rate of sedimentation in a centrifuge 
gap in quote 
specimens which are to be studied in the electron microscope 
have to be supported on something 
and this obviously cannot be a glass slide as in a light microscope 
since this would be opaque to electrons 
we'll paraphrase from here 
they used small metal grids about 2 to 3 mm in diameter 
normally made of copper 
the holes in the grid being 0.1 mm in diameter 
these were normally made by a process very similar to 
chrome plating 
electrolytic deposition onto a suitable substrate as he says 
and as 'sheet' of nitrocellulose 
celloidin 
was laid over the grid to be between the sample and the copper 
the sample is obtained by 
putting the tissue in a blender 
he says homogeniser 
and then a centrifuge to get rid of the dross 
wash and centrifuge at least three times... 
suspend in saline - salty water 
put a drop of virus rich saline onto a grid 
allow it to dry 
in order to obtain satisfactory images of virus particles 
some method of enhancing their capacity to 
scatter electrons must be employed 
in 'staining' for the electron microscope 
consist of certain salts of heavy metals 
lead, uranium, or tungsten 
which have high atomic numbers 
from example dunk it in 
uranyl acetate 
mainly these 'stains' will be taken up by 
proteins 
and so 
for viruses 
what they do is 
flood the grid and 
the virus particles will be 
islands in a lake of stain 
and the electrons get through the virus 
and not through the surrounding 
dried up lake bed 
the 'plating' method we touched on earlier is called 
shadowing 
in a vacuum chamber you vaporise a chunk of metal 
imagine a tennis ball 
imagine a spot light shone on it from an angle 
a sort of shadow will appear on the side of the tennis ball  
opposite to the source of the stream of metal particles 
and some sort of image can be had from that 
the metal that hits the virus 
doesn't hit the grid 
so if the virus 'falls off' the grid 
there will be a virus shaped gap in the layer of metal 
deposited onto the grid 
none of this is 
an every day tale of virus folk 
going about their evil business 
all about deducing things from 
artefacts 
it is known from chemical analyses that 
most virus particles consists of nothing else other than 
a protein coat 
and a nucleic acid core - the genetic material 
as we have said 
soaps and detergents 
cut through grease 
fats, oils lipids 
you need a 
biological washing powder 
with added enzymes 
to destroy proteins 
or strong alcohol 
viruses are not built like 
Malteesers 
they are not chocolate coated 
they  just look like it 
the book contains a real electronmicrograph of 
a human wart virus 
they look an awful lot like the pictures of 
corona viruses we see on the news on the telly 
we should note at this point that 
a virus is ninety odd per cent either  
DNA or RNA 
and Watson and Crick did not deduce the structure of DNA 
by bunging a sample into an electron microscope 
they got  
Rosalind Frankline 
to crystallise the material and do 
X-ray crystallography on the material to  
provide them with the data they needed 
would the 
I'm the Professor of Virology at 
Betty's Tea Rooms 
brigade 
zip it 
shut the fuck up 
the best way to explain how viruses get 
multiplied, reproduced is 
it's like somebody clicking on 
send all 
when sending an email 
you think you are sending the whole email 
but you are sending a copy to each of the addresses in your 
contacts list 
it's no more complicated than that 
 
  
 
  
we are sensitive about making public statements about 
the private lives of public figures 
but an old fool can get emotionally involved in an apparent 
problem 
Ricker does think  
Ant Partridge 
does not appear to be making much of a job of 
making Helen Stanley happy 
such an attractive l 
and self confident lass 
 when she first appeared  
on our screens 
not so long ago 
we depend very much on what 
our Ricker can remember 
but we do have some recourse to reference material 
we note that wikipaedia head their entry on 
coronavirus with a 
transmission electronmicroscope image of the virus 
not the current one but similar 
and we had earlier said we did not know whether the  
artists impressions on the telly 
were based on transmission or reflection  
electonmicrographs 
so now we know 
and we know that the environment in which 
these snaps were taken  
is very hostile 
vacuum, electron bombardment etc. 
we would suggest that what is in the images is 
actually the result of 
contrast in the image deriving from 
some part of the virus absorbing more or less of 
a stain 
probably a heavy metal - top of Ricker's head, osmium 
introduced to the viral sample 
before the sample was placed inside the microscope 
a ghost in the machine 
Ricker knows a bit more about 
herpes virus than corona virus 
and a basic distinction is that 
herpes is DNA based 
and corona is RNA based 
nobody seems to have settled on an antiviral for corona 
but acyclovir is used in herpes cases 
what we want to explain here is the likely best case scenario 
regarding antiviral drugs 
the mode of action of Zovirax is that the trade name? 
is that you ingest the drug 
your body converts it into something else and then 
 we get to the Lego analogy 
Lego bricks depend on having as one may say 
a male and a female surface 
a knobbly side and a cavity side 
when you add a brick you press the cavity side 
down onto a knobbly surface and the two bricks stick together 
if you are - for instance - making a model of a 
fuel filling station you want to 
distinguish 
entrance from exit and so you lay down a 
perimeter wall 
you could just lay down standard bricks 
but you may wish to make a neater job by 
choosing the thinner - often white - bricks that 
have a cavity side and the knobbly side is replaced by 
a nice neat smooth surface 
the mode of action of acyclovir is that it is converted in the body 
into  
flat topped bricks 
when the virus is forcing the host cell to synthesise more 
of the virus DNA 
the cell picks up the drug product 
instead of the regular DNA component and thus 
a synthetic stop is put to virus production 
and here is the prime issue 
the drug stops or hinders new virus production 
it is not lethal to the virus 
other mechanisms need to do the 
clear up 
the work of removing the already existing virus 
and frankly 
if that does not happen 
as soon as the drug dose runs out 
we are back where we started since 
no damage has been done to the 
complete, entire, virus particles in the body  
and so, 
the 'best hope' for a drug 
as a stand alone 
is to put a patient into a  
I'm not currently manufacturing virus 
mode 
so long as the drug is being administered 
but other more toxic drugs are being researched 
yer quick dirty solution is 
bung patients drugs such as acyclovir and  
measure the drug titre to look for an effect  
but as to 
saving the life of the patient 
they ain't dying from corona virus 
they are dying from  
pneumonia/general organ failure 
like the waitress said to Ricker when he ate the 
watercress on his plaice and chips 
you're not supposed to eat the decorations 
prompting the question 
unspoken 
how many customer's meals had that watercress 
  
here is an important concept 
just as, as soon as, a sperm enters an egg 
it is no longer a sperm but a part of a 
zygote 
egg plus sperm equals zygote 
so as soon as a virus particle enters a host cell 
it is partly 
note partly - no conscious thought so 
no intent 
no partiality 
it is partly dismantled 
can't 
go again 
it's all up to the next gen(eration) 
from then on 
and so... 
naturally the new particles 
mass house invade 
the next door cells 
but eventually this 
street party 
comes to the attention of 
the authorities 
the immune system 
already been on? 
but the point is 
pneumonia WITH influenza 
plaice WITH watercress 
  
if we set aside the big things 
protozoa, fungi, etc. 
that can infect us through  
wounds  
or be injected by insects such as 
mosquitoes 
the immune system has three targets 
viruses 
bacteria 
cancer cells 
viruses are only a problem when they can find a suitable  
host cell 
bacteria and cancer cells 
need a food supply but not necessarily a host cell 
viruses spread 
they invade more and more host cells and  
take them over and destroy them 
bacteria and cancer cells 
multiply 
one cell 
one lone bacterial cell 
in the absence of an immune system 
and the presence of food 
in an environment such as  
temperature, absence of UV light, etc. etc 
to which they are adapted will multiply 
like rats in a barn 
and so will cancer cells 
cancer cells are rogue versions of you so they 
are adapted to living in your body 
they, in the term 
multiply by division 
one lone cell switched to  
proliferative mode 
usually, but not always by 
a foreign body - asbestos fibre, calcium deposit 
cutting them off from contact with their neighbours 
loss of  
contact inhibition 
they can't detect a neighbour so 
they ' assume' a void or wound and 
multiply to try to bridge the  
phantom gap 
most if not all  
brain tumours  
are  
glial 
in nature 
they are related to  
malfunction, errant mode change, in 
the scaffold cells that regulate the  
physical structure of the brain 
not  
hyperplasia 
of actual  
nerve cells 
the immune system has what the espionage community would call 
back passages 
that would be 
back channels 
indiplomatic circles 
we have a blood circulation that connects everything to 
the immune system 
but also provides nutrition to everything 
including pathogens 
the body also has a 
lymphatic system 
it drains fluid from all over the body and feeds it to 
the immune system 
and it contains little or no nutrition 
and things we don't want 
bacteria, viruses, cancer cells 
wind up in the Lubianka 
the lymph nodes 
but surgeons 
remove the Secret Police dungeons 
when they find - breast cancer, arm pit nodes 
and after that 
your immune system no longer has any 
comcentration camps 
for rogue operators 
what the chance of 
cleansing lymph nodes without destroying them?? 
the cancer cells didn't 
originate 
in the lymph nodes so their removal is 
at best 
collateral damage 
bacteria and viruses in your lymph nodes would probably 
not lead to their excision 
 
  
we know how keen 
(Billy) Bunter ( of the Remove) 
is on 
Oxford University 
the nearest we could come today is 
The Oxford University Press 
Lysosomes 
unfortunately for Bunter 
it is a monograph published by OUP  
but written by 
A C Allison 
in 1974 
when he was 
Head of the cell pathology division of 
the Clinical Research Centre of 
the Medical Research Council 
previous to that he had worked at what they then called 
Mill Hill 
The National Institute for Medical Research 
and so to quote 
just a little bit 
In 1955, Christian de Duve  
and other scientists working with him in 
Belgium 
gave he name lysosomes to a group of 
 microscopic organelles 
located in the cytoplasm of animal cells 
They are distinguished from other organelles by  
three major functions they perform 
1 They digest material taken into the cell 
this may be food in th case of protozoans 
or bacteria in the case of 
phagocytes 
slip out of quote here 
phagocyte 
Greek phagein  to eat, kytos hollow 
an amoeboide white blood corpuscle 
that ingests - swallows - foreign particles 
the big lumbering cookie monster of the 
immune system 
 or the Kodiak Bear 
capable of ingesting 
fungal filaments 
the phagocyte engulphs the foreign matter and 
its lysosomes 
digest them 
return to quote 
2 they break down parts of the cell 
or even all of it (after cell death) 
3 they release the enzymes they contain 
outside the cell causing extracellular breakdown 
as in  
resorption of tadpole tails 
end quote 
our Ricker knows stuff 
'cos he's read books 
sperm have a special type of lysosome 
they use them to drill a hole in the wall of 
an egg to ge inside 
none of that  
glass tube and pointed stick you see on 
telly  
when they doin'  
fertility treatments 
enough 
the point is 
people and also people and  
as Durrell would have it 
My Family and Other Animals 
are not 
sitting ducks 
when we are healthy 
we have defences 
very good ones 
very good, not perfect 
 
 
  
imagine there's a charity called 
Cancer Research UK 
imagine that at one time in their history 
they had a commercial arm that 
ran charity shops 
and imagine that at one time they had two sections on their tills 
and 'head office' bought in 
New Goods 
to be sold alongside the 
second hand donated items 
imagine a quite successful shop in Scotland 
in Glasgow or Edinburgh 
and each autumn the manager of that shop 
had to do a ring around other shops in the area 
to try to off load 
thousands of pounds worth of 
New Goods she couldn't sell 
guess what they were 
Christmas cards 
why could she not sell them? 
because her shop was in 
a Jewish enclave 
didn't stop Head Office sending her boxes and boxes of them  
every year 
no matter what she said  
and who she said it to 
so let's move on to a more biological example 
some people breed rabbits 
most people who breed rabbits produce them for food 
but some people are 
in the fancy 
they breed rabbits because they make pets and they 
can be bred for their appearance 
and a classic style or breed of rabbit is 
The Dutch 
it has a particular fur colour pattern 
normally they are mostly black with white bits 
say somebody brings out  movie that features a rabbit character 
that has a Dutch pattern but the black bits are  
brown 
the breeders would suddenly have an unexpected new market for 
brown and white Dutch rabbits 
they would need to  
SELECT 
suitable breeding stock 
NOT 
institute a 
MUTATION 
previously unpopular and little bred from 
brown and white Dutch rabbits would suddenly be 
in demand 
you design a medication that 
kills the normal versions of a virus 
you clear a niche 
for a slightly different version of that virus that 
never really showed up in tests because 
it was crowded out by the version that  
fitted to niche better and 
hadn't before  
encountered the medication 
bring in the medication and 
the minority version 
blossoms and 
you THINK you have a MUTATION 
 
  
regular readers will know 
we like to delve into 
words and word meanings 
the period of British History between 
the two World Wars 
is interesting 
in many ways but today we would contrast three eras 
the period between the 
Napoleonic Wars 
and the Boer War 
was the period of 
Industrialisation in the UK 
the period of history from  
The Boer War - the war between 
 the British and the Dutch  
over South Africa 
was the period of  
enfranchisement 
votes for working men 
votes for women 
the period 'Between the Wars' 
the Interwar Years 
terms for the period between 
the First and Second World Wars 
was different 
some will recall tales of 
The Press Gang 
people being forced into 
Armies and Navies 
but the 'victims' of such pressing were 
likely lads 
people having their 
furlough 
shortened 
furlough is, leave of absence 
Dutch - verlof, permission 
because the Great War 
later known as 
The Second World War 
came after 
The Industrial Revolution 
and was the first war after the industrial revolution 
it killed a lot more men - almost all casualties of WW1 were male 
and so the protagonists introduced 
a form of semi-universal conscription 
people had reserved occupations if they were 
in more modern terms  
essential workers 
World War I 
was the first war in which 
there were utterly unprepared patriotic call ups 
followed by conscripts 
outnumbering 
'old sweats' 
and when the army - in particular 
carried out 
Induction Medicals 
they were utterly shocked at the 
poor state of health of volunteers and conscripts 
compared to 
regulars 
that sudden discovery of the  
general poor state of health of 
Joe Public 
was the motivation behind the push 
the endeavour from 1919 to 1949 
to set up 
The National Health Service 
 
the word we are working on today is 
malnourishment 
1919 influenza pandemic 
deaths due to 
malnutrition 
but what does it mean? 
inappropriate nutrition 
One Hundred Years Later 
an infectious disease epidemic in the UK 
due to 
malnutrition 
not  
shortage of food 
too much of the wrong food 
all these Leftist activists 
got a problem? 
shovel some cash at it 
give the benighted 'maw monay' 
to buy processed foods 
don't offend them by 
teaching them how to  
cook 
 
  
We remember things you don't 
most of you 
a very very long time ago 
there was no such thing as 
HIV 
human immunodeficiency virus 
and no such thing as 
AIDS 
we forget what that stands for 
could be 
auto immune deficiency disease 
or acquired immune deficiency disease 
there was no AIDS 
but there was a relatively expensive 
biscuit  
sold as a slimming aid 
called 
Ayds 
gone 
in an instant 
and up until last year there was 
corona beer 
and other things with corona in their branding 
 4th May 2020  
Here's the plan! 
Whenever we update this file 
the updated version will appear first 
perhaps not by very long 
at 
www.our.st 
Our Street 
 4th May 2020  
many people are familiar with the line from 
Monty Python's 
Life of Brian 
He's not the Messiah 
he's a really naughty boy 
what is less often reprised is the converse 
a sketch where  
John Cleese 
dressed in business suit, bowler, brolly 
and brief case 
enters a terrace house 
and two of the team are dressed as  
fishwives, old biddies, old women 
and one looks up and says  
oh your boy's home 
and the other attempts to  
oh we forget the term for  
stroking or chuckling a baby's cheeks with fingers... 
anyway 
and there is some comment about 
oh hasn't he grown 
who's a big boy now? 
are you eating your greens? 
and eventually the Cleese character in exasperation says 
mother! 
I'm Her Majesty's Secretary of State 
for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs 
please do shush 
of course this is not the original script 
but you get the idea 
there is a similar story 
probably true and oft repeated 
woman leaves work on maternity leave 
and a few years later 
she feels it is time to re-commence 
hosting dinner parties 
and so she invites her husband's boss around for dinner 
and she thinks it is all going very well 
until she suddenly looks down and realises that 
she is cutting the meat on the boss's plate 
into tiny toddler sized pieces 
and as a third in the series... 
Ricker used to bank the shop takings at 
the post office in Thirsk 
and he used to chat to one of the tellers 
one day she said 
I'm off on my maternity leave now 
off to do something 
worthwhile 
she referring to raising a child 
some women - perhaps we are thinking of the likes of 
the lawyer Ms. Allred and similar 
perhaps we are thinking of our own 
'dear' 
Vera Baird 
what shall we say 
their experience of men  
if they have any 
is of a person who  
isn't home during the day 
to them - in their formative days 
a man is a person who 
goes missing for a living 
how hard can that be? 
women should be allowed to do that too 
and then when they get into 
the world of work 
that isn't - like school - about 
neat handwriting, addy ups, and takie ways 
they decide that if they can 
photocopy a script 
these days email a script 
and book a 'plane ticket 
they should be allowed to 
direct a movie 
and they are oblivious of the  
other women who have been 
ankle biting their movie director fathers since birth 
and making their own movies - at home 
schools tell pupils 
learn this text 
off by heart 
and you will be entitled to 
rule the world 
and those teachers seldom encounter the 
recitationists they have produced 
when they are still 
stocking shelves 
thirty years later 
nobody should be surprised by the stories of 
young adults  
is the current version 
Young Welsh and Minted? 
young adults remembering how their teachers told them 
you'll never amount to anything 
because 
your exercise book is blotted and 
you forgot your lines 
what gets you to  
either the bottom or the top 
in teaching 
is sod all use anywhere else 
and we can draw these two themes together in 
The Life of Ricker 
see, when he was young he owned nothing 
he had the use of quite a lot 
but his parents OWNED these things 
and they had the right to 
bin or sell anything Ricker depended upon 
and after Ricker's dad died it all belonged to his mam 
she had had a shop of her own 
 a sweet shop in one of the windows of 
her parents' haberdashers shop in Tyne Dock 
before she was a teenager 
when she became a widow she decided that  
although she would really like to own and run a 
hairdresser's 
she had a son and no daughters 
and so 
selling the house to 
pay for her son - Ricker 
to train as an optometrist 
would mean she could 
own and run an opticians' as second best 
and Ricker had a degree in zoology from Durham University 
so the training should be 
a walk in the park 
however her assessment of  
an optician's being on a par with a hairdresser's 
was a major bone of contention in the industry 
the thing is 
at the time there were 
a lot of independent opticians and the Co-Op 
ran a lot of optician's shops 
to put it bluntly 
at around 1980 in the UK 
the majority of opticians  
both the dispensing opticians - DOs 
and the ophthalmic opticians - OOs 
in work, had trained in 
technical colleges 
some time in the 1970s  
optometry was introduced from the United States? 
and optometry - being and optometrist - was 
a graduate only entry profession and 
the technical colleges were  
re-titled,  
universities 
all of this was the 'official' line 
the reality was that 
as time went on 'the powers that be' 
who were paying for eye tests and specs 
wanted more emphasis of 
detection, prevention, and cure 
not simply 
prostheses 
this meant that these new university courses 
introduced a boat load of 
training related to the detection of pathology 
and to remain in business as opticians 
to be an optometrist 
you couldn't be simply 
a refractionist 
a refractionist is somebody who can 
test the optical qualities of eyes and  
prescribe corrective lenses 
up and down the country 
there were thousands of little shops 
labelled opticians 
that dished out specs little better than  
ready readers 
the legalisation of the sale of ready readers 
was probably calculated as pressure on refractionists to 
sharpen up their game 
offer more than specs that 'helped' 
and so, most optometry students being 
the sons and daughters of 
refractionists 
went home with all these tales of pathology 
and mum and dad - mom and pop - refractionists 
were ageing and under pressure 
from the government who paid them and 
Dolland and Aitchison who employed  
anybody who was qualified 
no special consideration for 
keeping it in the family 
and so 
time and again young people 
still in the early 80s on full grants 
not paying fees 
would get home one day and find that 
dad had sold their 
birthright 
the business they had expected to inherit 
to D and A 
the man from Del Monte he say 
on yer bike 
last we checked 
D&A is now lost as a brand 
and owned by 
Wallgreen in The States 
and operating as 
Boots Opticians 
and the only other place you can get your eyes tested is 
Specsavers 
something of an exaggeration 
but running an independent optician's shop tends to be 
a second string in a household and very 
high end 
get yer prescription from Boots or Specsavers and 
have it dispensed in a  
boutique opticians 
life's too short to wear boring specs 
some will remember  
Are you being served 
on a day when Ricker was at another branch 
the actor who played Mrs Slowcome 
went into D&A in Guildford and asked if they had any 
of her trademark outrageous specs 
nothing in stock came near 
 
 
  
 
we have been having a think about social norms 
we are thinking back to the 
dawn of the age of the teenager 
we are thinking that some of the 
first teenagers are now  
generation curtain twitch 
perhaps they are the people who 
due to family pressure 
missed out on the 
Swinging Sixties 
so to go back in time 
as today  
teenagers like - slightly noisily - roaming around in groups 
they are simply spilling  
playground norms 
onto the streets 
but as a group matures 
within that group, gradually, increasingly 
the question may be heard 
do you know what's 
green and hairy? 
the answer was 
a gooseberry 
if three people 
two males and a female 
two females and a male  
were walking along together 
this was a single that it was time for 
two of them to become 
a couple 
and the gooseberry was the unwelcome third party 
and a lot of the activities of the 
metoo movement bear analysis of 
how sure are you that your ministrations are welcome 
to either party? 
is the elephant in the room 
not fear of sexual exploitation 
but 
threat to social norms and conventions 
are you 
protecting the woman - or man 
or, at a deep level are you defending the likes of 
Arranged Marriage? 
over and over we have seen a failed theory defended with the  
nostrum 
it's only failing because 
it isn't being applied WITH SUFFICENT RIGOUR 
  
 
  
a long long time ago 
there used to be a thing on the BBC TV news called 
KPMG 
we don't know what the K and the G stood for 
KPMG was a firm of accountants 
when our Ricker was a little boy - under 11 
his dad used to go to work 
nd he would talk about his work 
and Ricker didn't know what to make of it 
there were the daily tales of 
Paddy and Hill 
but from time to time Rcker's dad - Tommy 
would mention 
Lancaster 
and 
Pete Marwick 
except that Pete Marwick wasn't Pete 
it as probably 
Peat 
Peat Marwick 
was probably the middle bit of 
KPMG 
George was Tommy's chairman 
and his sons, Hillary and Patrick? Paddy 
were Tommy's fellow executive directors 
and we assume from this distance that 
Lancaster was a non-executive director 
and Peat Marwick were the company's auditors 
all of which is fine and dandy 
but here and now we have a tale of Lancaster 
it appears to our Ricker that.... 
oh we need to step back from Lancaster 
St Peter's School, York 
Ricker's half brothers 
Peter and Gordon 
were pupils at St. Peter's 
the school that never celebrated bonfire night because??? 
Guy Faulkes was an old boy 
we don't burn Old Peterites, even in effigy 
Gordon, Peter, and Ricker all went to 
Coatham 
Sir William Turner's School 
allowing for a time slip... 
Gordon was a moron and got thrown out 
and St. Peter's took him on condition they could 
have Peter too 
Ricker, some years later, stuck it out at Coatham 
and so 
St. Peter's got Peter into 
Oxford 
BNC 
Brasenose College 
but there is a twist 
it was wartime - second world war 
and BNC were billeted on some other college 
you can work out which one from the next bit 
but it may have been Christchurch 
what we can tell you is that 
BNC were billeted on the college that has 
Tom Tower 
and this is where Pete's career took its first setback 
he was given the room to the left - right next to 
Tom Tower 
as you look up from the quad 
and  
all his time at Oxford 
Pete couldn't study 
for the sound of that 
blessed bell 
well, anyway that was Pete's excuse for getting 
a lower second 
and so 
National Service after Oxford 
navigator on a destroyer on the 
Russian Convoys 
probably not 
Cavalier 
whilst Gordon did his National Service before Leeds University 
in the pay corps in Bournemouth 
and then after Oxford and the Navy 
Lancaster 
gets the lad a job at 
Maxwell Batley, solicitors 
at the time they were at 
Bevis Marks 
it's a street in London 
later London Wall, later still 
Chancery Lane 
the Lancaster story has a second part 
Lancaster had spoken for young Pete 
and the reports he got back were not all good 
one day Lancaster said to Tommy 
either at a board meeting or in a 'phone call 
'if that lad of yours can't stop his wife 
ringing him at work 
they're going to have to let him go 
Kari was in a difficulty 
Pete was one of the brightest legal minds  
of his generation 
did the paper work for the merger of 
The National Provincial and Westminster banks 
The NatWest 
and Kari was a nurse from 
Tronyam - that's Trondheim - in Norway 
so you see the rather tenuous link with the Russian Convoys 
she had been working in London but had no links 
with London nor England beyond 
nursing and Peter 
you are not wise to strand a typically 
highly strung scandy blonde in a foreign land 
it ended in more than tears 
it ended in ECT 
they had a boy and a girl and stayed married for  
a very long time - decades 
but ECT 
stands for 
Electro Convulsive Therapy 
at least - so far as we know - she didn't get the full 
frontal lobotomy 
we could detail Gordon's  
Hello Girl wife 
Christ, this goes back so far into ancient history 
right at the start if you had a telephone 
it didn't have a dial 
or a keypad 
you picked up the receiver and a woman said 
hello 
hello, what number do you require 
a Hello Girl 
'spose that was what you picked up if you were  
a squaddie in the pay corps, in Bournemouth 
so Ricker's brothers' wives 
put Ricker right off girls 
right from the start 
first kiss some podgy little kid called Pamela 
when they were 8 
first 'girl friend', they never kissed 
Lizzie Brown when they were ten 
things never really improved after that 
as the horrors of his own family 
played out against the background of 
the girls in his class entering 
neat handwriting competitions while he was 
trying to pass the eleven plus 
we should explain 
the mixed gender primary school class were 
half aiming for 
The Boys' Grammar 
and half aiming for  
The Girls' Grammar 
shall we say 
gender differentiated entrance exams 
the boys sat the eleven plus in the assembly hall of 
the boys' grammar school 
it was invigilated by boys' grammar school masters 
who presumably marked the papers 
so we assume the converse happened to the girl candidates 
just an exercise in 
which girls do we want to teach 
boys weren't competing with girls 
girls weren't competing with boys 
and the girls' grammar got  girls 
into higher education perhaps even further education 
about as often as the boys' grammar got a boy into 
Oxford or Cambridge 
these days 
anybody with 
basic secretarial skills 
can have a First Class Honours Degree 
and if they don't have basic secretarial skills 
they are 
special needs, vulnerable, on the autistic spectrum 
so they get a Higher National Diploma in
being very trying 
mispelt 
trying very hard 
and an Olympic Gold Medal in 
tossing the bean bag 
they call it Botcha 
 
  
we know that whenever anybody reads anything 
the bit they don't read is 
the caveats 
we know that using analogies is risky 
when we say  
it's LIKE this 
but it's NOT this 
 It's  NOT this
and so... 
although a virus is like a sperm 
the most important bit of a sperm 
that a virus does not have is 
a flagella 
it does not have an 
outboard motor 
it does not have  
independent motility 
wherever it goes 
something has to take it there 
a scudding cloud of aerosol excretion 
an inward breath from a new host 
who got too close to an existing host 
before gravity made that cloud 
hit the ground 
or a breeze swept it away 
once in the new host the virus will look for 
cells to parasitise 
it will enter the first cell it lands on 
it will not 
go house hunting 
to get deep into a host's body 
the process the host should be using to 
transfer it to the  
fiery pit of hell 
we know as  
the stomach 
has to go wrong and deliver it to 
the Elysian Fields of 
the lungs 
some people have a problem with 
the gag reflex 
that is responsible for this 
valve based control 
as we are on what a virus is not 
we will take on board slightly failed analogy that we are 
aware of but have not yet used 
if you have the good fortune to live now 
in the era after the invention of 
the microscope 
you live at a time when 
it is technically possible to create a 
pollen count 
because there is such a thing as a pollen count 
the administration of amateurs 
think... 
can't we have a virus count like the pollen count? 
pollen grains survive 
around a million times longer than virus particles 
and they don't exist within 
gravity sensitive 
water droplets 
we can't expect to find 
viruses in air samples 
as we find bits of carbon and pollen grains 
for all practical purposes 
the source of viable virus is 
breathing in somebody else's contaminated breath 
BEFORE A TENNIS BALL COULD 
Hit the ground 
That quick, that close 
However, indoors..... 
consider 
Legionnaire's Disease 
different problem 
bacteria in water tanks 
being distributed to the air in a confined space by 
the air conditioning 
a virus 
could not survive as a bacterium can in a water tank 
but 
air conditioning can 
fight gravity 
and keep an aerosol in the air 
longer than in an indoor setting where 
the air is 
stiller 
indoors - gravity 
outdoors - gravity and breeze 
indoor with air con - swirling air that  
keeps a virus airborn for much longer 
 
  
we do at this point have a little time to 
consider the future 
we have to recognise that thoughts building a business 
in North East England 
are dominated by considerations of 
how will this sound in court 
The local law enforcement are so short of 
'real crimes' 
to put into the databases they submit for funding 
that everybody who 
picks up the 'phone 
to the police 
or communicates in any other 
'acceptable fashion' 
acceptable fashion does not include 
oi mate, over 'ere 
instantly becomes a client 
with a 
crime number 
or these days if the call is about  
'a group of youths' 
a dozen different crime numbers 
for the database 
whenever the 
CPS - Crown Prosecution Service 
there are locally several layers in law enforcement 
plods, wooden tops 
detectives 
CPS 
Magistrates 
Juries 
Judges, of various degrees 
plods can add to the coffers in the mode of a 
traffic warden, issuing a penalty charge 
if the matter is one for the courts 
normally the plod will 
report the incident 
and after detectives have had their 
go at the time sheets over it... 
the CPS will decide on  
whether to prosecute 
the decision will be based on the 
merits of the case 
did the prisoner break the law 
flexible.. 
but the real decision is on 
what are the prospects of conviction 
and so most often the judgement is not of 
what happened 
but 
who was involved? 
women have to go a long way to get seen as 
somebody magistrates or a jury would 
like to see in jail 
especially as it is very difficult to keep from them 
the answer to the question 
does she have kids 
and this plays into the concept of 
getting your retaliation in early 
we have seen less publicity about the fact that 
when a woman takes up with a man she is 
entitled to access his  
police and criminal record 
for a man 
even asking for a 'phone number 
could be regarded as 
stalking 
there is an absolute assumption that 
how do you know that a character in a  
Disney cartoon is female 
the long eyelashes 
bat your eyelashes 
the absolute assumption that  
any character with long eyelashes 
is pure as the driven snow 
and so any sort of  
web site based on  
ideas and concepts 
has to restrict itself to 
things already in the public domain 
However, in the midst of the  
steamroller effect of 
due process 
there is no invitation to 
demonstrate that something published 
was already in the public domain 
  
These very local and specific 
web site names were set up and maintained 
to promote the wellbeing of the people and areas 
to which their names refer 
in the absence of any sense that 
it is safe to do business 
under North East Law 
a different strategy is necessary to have any hope of 
making money 
especially if you are deemed by the 
local law enforcement and 
educational establishment  
as somebody who 
should be down London 
that strategy is to 
select, own, and 
fatten up for sale 
a URL that some corporation may one day decide to 
buy for a lot of money 
our Ricker has a suitable URL 
it has been hacked 
we are pretty sure it was hacked because it was 
involved in the data breach at 
ebay 
a very long time ago and the details 
sold around 
it may have been hacked because it is valuable 
however, we are willing to invest a little in it and see 
how safe it now is 
the hack is quite a simple one 
it is a variant on the 
distributed denial of service 
hack 
instead of flooding the web site 
it sends endless emails to an email address 
over time 
in this case 
instead of a person sending an email to this address 
getting an obscene reply 
they get a message that 
the sender's message has been rejected because 
the recipient's in box is full 
 having time on our hands 
we may explore this dilemma 
that is whether to make any further investment in that URL 
 
  
at the heart of this is the question 
back in the day 
as soon as a schoolteacher got a boyfriend 
let alone got married 
she was expected to 'retire' 
and there have to be two major justifications for this 
1 being married to a schoolteacher may be seen as 
offering a man 
privileged access to children 
2 such jobs as were made available to 
spinsters 
single adult women 
were reserved in small numbers for 
women who didn't have a hope in hell of 
getting their hands on a man's 
pay packet 
these ideas stand like 
abandoned bridge piers in a river 
tempting modern day people to build 
castles upon them 
if we refer to the 
Home Secretary Priti Patel... 
we have in some sense the category of 
a woman who NEEDS her job 
because she has no man 
and therefore 
to keep her off the streets 
prevent her from becoming a sex worker 
she must 
alongside the likes of police officers 
and 
we forget, The Emperor's wife 
be beyond reproach 
as a probation officer once said to our Ricker 
'it's illegal to disagree with an MP' 
but only if the MP is female 
the whole 
women only short lists project 
would need to have some element  
preventing a  
revolving door 
having a woman in post 
is seen as more important than  
having a capable and accountable person in post 
our society in general is affected by this 
but the publicity falls to the 
make weights 
and damages the prospects and reputations of 
the decent ordinary women who could 
make their way without special consideration 
and without having to pretend they don't like men 
 
 
  
some of these datelines go just a bit wrong 
because it is a faff to publish a file 
and so we build up a few items ahead of time 
as at 28th April we were saying this.. 
many 'cultural traditions' can have their origins lost in 
the mists of time 
and when they do they gain in gravitas - believability 
and so we will tell the story of 
The Salvation Army 
we could be wrong about the name but 
this particular 'church' 
was founded by a married couple 
who may have been called 
Booth 
they were not responsible for the name 
The Salvation Army 
they were a married couple and at one point their son 
one of their sons? 
was a stroppy teenager 
he didn't want to work in his parents'  
version of a Methodist Church 
he wanted to join the army 
so they re-named their church 
The Salvation Army 
so that he would stay 
that much is interesting but currently The Army 
has a motto along the lines of 
Blood and Fire 
we forget 
what we want to point out is that motto or not 
They had a slogan 
the slogan related to their offer to 
the indigent poor 
the inhabitants of the most appalling flabella style 
is that favella? 
slums in the likes of London and Manchester 
we now have the  
Firebrand Preacher Sam 
he says  
Jesus said 
You are fishermen 
I will make you fishers of men 
I will save mankind 
and the heckler says 
do you save women too 
Yes, yes women too 
Good, will you save two for me for  
Saturday night? 
that being the Sam 
the slogan was 
Soup, Soap, and Salvation 
that's what the Salvation Army traditionally  
offered to the 'homeless' 
and from this develops the idea of 
1 pack the bellies of 'the poor' with 
carbohydrates 
fatten them up 
and 2 
clean them up 
so the God will prefer the look of them 
and 
if you can get the smell off them 
they will loose a lot of their 
aliments 
you take an association with 
God and The Bible 
and weld on your own 
untested medical theory 
and after a hundred years or so 
people assume that your quackery 
is in The Bible 
since nobody ever reads more than a hundred words  
of The Bible at any one go or ever in their lives... 
classically.... 
people mix up  
quotes from The Bible 
and  
quotes from Shakespeare 
and  
quotes from random other sources 
and we have no idea who came up with 
cleanliness is next to Godliness 
but it's a pretty universal  
trope 
that dirty things are infested 
and 
clean surfaces must be 
antiseptic 
we will introduce a bit of commercial promotion  here 
free of charge 
we said about silver being 
antiseptic and turning things black... 
Carron Phoenix Bali Granite Composite  
kitchen sink and drainer 
Sanitized Reg. Trade mark 
real granite composite embedded with 
silver phosphate glass 
to prevent 99 per cent of bacteria from 
multiplying 
on the soap angle  
taking Booth Junior's approach into account 
encouraging the poor to use soap 
was more about encouraging volunteers to 
walk amongst them to help them 
with less recourse to 
smelling salts 
nosegays or whatever 
rather than any genuine belief that 
soap and water are the answer to 
the plague 
and in the tradition of 
Chinese whispers... 
washing just your hands 
won't cut the stench by much 
 27th April 2020  
many many people are familiar with the concept of 
being stuck between 
a rock and a hard place 
we see this reflex deployment of 
child abuse and the murder of women 
whenever the police and their cohorts 
want to attract our attention 
for 'children are being abused' 
read 
oi, over 'ere, listen to me 
and certainly not 
excuse me, can I have your attention? 
that aside  
along with their 
scum of the earth 
anybody sez anything I don't understand... 
I'll 'ave 'em sectioned 
or branded a  
fantacist 
we are will inject the Welsh for politician here 
the Welsh for Member of the Assembly is 
phonetically... 
whiney dog 
and for once we must note the spelling 
Auf Wiedersehen Pet 
other than the police impostor syndrome 
that is 
I'm way out of my depth here so 
time to kick some shins 
this problem of the 
whiney dog wimin 
when our Ricker was a little boy 
according to his mother 
telling him later 
she refused to smack him when he was a todler 
because 
he enjoyed it too much 
these days 
ninety odd percent of men who have a job have 
what a century ago would have been described as 
a bobby's job 
and is now termed 
a desk job 
men in general don't get up at four o'clock in the morning 
to go to work 
not expecting to see hearth and home ever again 
and so the concept of the man as 
the provider 
and 
having martial rights 
has largely evaporated 
but in some sense there is a lingering concept of 
if she likes sex so much 
maybe I should  
give her something she doesn't like so much 
in return for her 
bed and board 
maybe I should beat her up like I do me mates down the club 
and so the rock and the hard place 
one the one hand 
the home where she gets beatings not sex 
and the workplace where 
she is constantly plagued by her 
impostor syndrome 
want the man who beats you - physically - out of your home 
or the man who beats you - intellectually - out of your workplace 
and so often it appears that 
ousting the capable from workplaces 
is cheaper and easier than 
a one adult per home, policy 
and here we reflect the concept 
I would like to treat my cubicle at work 
as if it were my home 
to be Queen of all I survey 
the world has a feeling that it is more appropriate to 
socially engineer the workplace 
than the home 
and so 
professions and workplaces develop  
implicit 
wimin only 
policies 
and in the van (guard)... 
universities and schools 
setting the mould for all future generations 
is the satisfaction of 
victimhood 
greater 
when physically beaten 
or when subject to 
non physical coercive control 
coercive control - something women are past masters at 
but 
can never be accused of 
 
  
we wish to skim  a line between 
properly researched and peer reviewed 
and 
something people can understand that 
doesn't drive us into the ground with 
the fact checking burden 
in that context, first 
the platisma muscles 
are involved in nodding your head down 
but they mainly 
open your mouth 
and are to that extent, technically the  
antagonists to the masseter muscles 
but here we want to fly a kite 
about the relationship between viruses and people 
viruses don't PLAN anything 
think of a virus as a fashion item 
you design it, you make it< you put it on sale 
and it either flies of flops 
it has no conscious involvement in  
how popular or successful it is 
what we are not going to research is how to classify 
 Corona virus 2019 
some corona viruses are 
'flu viruses 
some are  
common cold viruses 
we, as opposed to the specialists in this field 
don't know the difference between  
the common cold versions 
and the influenza versions 
their genetic codes will have been published but 
life's too short 
if you were designing corona viruses 
and NOBODY is 
you may feel that the common cold versions are 
more successful than the 'flu ones 
the lame brains of the military bent 
may think that the 'flu ones are  
'more successful' 
 because they do more damage 
what you have to remember is 
these are parasites 
and successful parasites  
do not kill their host 
like mistletoe 
and sometimes 
like corals 
it's hard to tell which is host and which parasite 
for example an alga living in an animal that can grow 
a calcified shell 
we know that in the past all sorts of
biological weapons research 
has been disguised as 
Research into the Common Cold 
but The Common Cold does not bother us much 
and so we don't try very hard to defeat it 
it's not smallpox after all 
a common cold corona virus triggers in us 
the streaming cold 
reaction that protects us from 
well not from the virus parasitising our nasal and oral cavity surfaces 
but protects us from having that class or virus 
penetrate into 
our lungs 
where is can do real damage 
by treating lungs tissue 
in a way that it is 'designed' to 
fit to 
treat the more robust  
and 
DRAINED 
tissues of our nasal cavities 
in this theory we define 
a 'flu virus  
as 
a virus that slips - inadvertently - through 
the defences that  
trap and corral 
a corona virus we would otherwise classify as a Common cold virus 
 
  
and so, grasshopper... 
we should consider 
the wart 
there are viral and fungal infections 
of the skin 
that never venture deeper into the body 
than the skin 
consider a person who has a cough and or a fever 
amd suspects they have CoViD-19 
and test positive 
and recover from their symptoms 
BUT 
the corona 2019 virus was trapped in their nose 
and some other virus was in their lungs 
giving them their symptoms 
they would, could develop immunity to that 
other virus 
but 
Corona 2019 would be like a wart to them 
never seen by their immune system 
and so they harboured the virus but  
only after they symptoms subside.. 
do they become 
infected with it 
because the virus eventually slid down to the areas of 
thinner, more delicate membranes 
much closer to blood capillaries 
in the lungs 
 
  
 
 24th April 2020  
Newcastle University 
Newcastle-upon-Tyne, England 
are doing some interesting research 
they are taking samples from sewers 
and testing them for  
Corona Virus 2019 
1 presumably to protect the operatives of 
Northumbrian Water 
working in their water treatment works an sewers 
2 if they are finding traces... 
it gives the lie to the idea that 
soap and water and detergent 
and other things put into sewers 
destroy viruses 
 
 
  
GDP 
stands for Gross Domestic Product 
it refers to the monetary size of the 
turnover of the - British - economy 
we have been told for decades now that 
the vast majority of economic activity in the UK 
consists of 
service industries 
particularly financial services 
particularly in London 
and hence it was a no-brainer to 
shut down the  
trivial 
industrial sector 
 when a contagious disease problem arose 
here's the question 
if all the people involved in 
service industries 
and let's remember, even if the media forget 
there are service industries such as 
architecture, industrial design, etc. etc.  
that are neither manufacturing nor financial 
if all these people are now 
working from home 
completely unaffected by the lock-down 
why should GDP shrink? 
we suspect that we will have to wait some time for the 
April to June 2020 figures to be published 
but they, HMRC, Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs will 
already have the March numbers and soon have the April figures 
we are guessing that 
London Locals 
will have lost their jobs - well their work 
in sandwich bars and on the transport network 
but a lot of that work will have been transferred to 
commuter towns 
 
  
we've had a thought 
Our Ricker's had a thought 
when the history is written 
he is wondering 
will CoViD-19 
be referred to as 
summer 'flu 
it does seem that a lot of people have not been able to 
shrug it off in spring 
on the other hand... 
people with mild to moderate 'flu 
in the past 
have never been told to 
stay in doors and pretend that it's still 
winter 
what about 
hay fever as a natural antidote to influenza?? 
it is a fact 
perhaps an irrelevant, misleading fact 
but it is a fact that most of the people who are dying from 
CoVID-19 
are the people who are being 
shielded 
from it 
second fact 
the shielding isn't working 
disputed fact 
the new treatment does not work as well as the old one 
feed a cold 
starve a fever 
one interpretation of that is 
if you have a mild infection... 
build yourself up, chicken soup and exercise 
if you have a serious infection 
go lie down in a darkened room 
it's pretty clear that almost everybody who gets CoViD-19 
gets a mild illness for at least week 
and that does bring 
differential treatment 
into question 
do the people who go on to develop a serious illness 
handle the mild illness differently? 
 
  
as at 22nd April 2020 
we have not seen any pictures or footage of 
healthy looking people who have 
died or come near to death from CoViD-19 
and most of the people who have been described as 
having no underlying health issues 
really demonstrate how  
being overweight to the point of 
morbid obesity 
and having undiagnosed type two diabetes 
counts as having no underlying medical issues 
we should just run over the problem 
take the throat of a typical adult male 
we expect to see an  
Adam's apple 
if you can't see it - overweight 
but that is not the main issue here 
put your thumb one side of the larynx  
the Adam's apple 
and the fingers the other side 
between thumb and fingers you have the larynx  
and some skin 
and two muscles... 
the left and right  
platisma 
they have to do with pulling your head down 
when you nod 
you can hardly feel them at all 
they are really quite thin sheet muscles 
if you are not very very very fat 
if you grip your throat at one side of the wind pipe 
so that you grab 
skin, fat and platisma 
between thumb and fingers 
you can get an idea of the double up thickness of a 
platisma muscle 
there is a similar pair of muscles at the sides of your face 
the masseter muscles 
these close your jaws 
ths sort of sheet muscle is the sort of muscle you use 
to breath 
the diaphragm 
The diaphragm has a problem 
it is used to expand the lungs but 
BUT 
it is not attached to the lungs  
in the way that the masseter muscles are attached to 
yer jaws 
the diaphragm is arranged like 
two analogies here  
one more universal than the other 
the more universal one is 
a washing line 
or the cable on a suspension bridge 
lungs above the cable 
guts below 
to breath in the diaphragm contracts 
and becomes  
more like a plate 
and less like a bowl 
the place where you put fat in is your belly 
more than anywhere else 
if the bowl of the diaphragm is 
constantly full of fat 
the muscles that is like a plate and not  
big strong and thick like 
the  muscles in your limbs 
eventually gives up 
the more restricted analogy is 
those 
ratcket straps truckers use to 
strap a load onto a lorry, wagon, truck 
or anything 
a point is reached where 
if the load was not a 
solid box 
but a huge spring 
no matter how tightly you cinch the  
ratchet strap 
the spring will not compress at loading 
as much as it might in transit 
because the other large flat muscle of your tum 
your six pack 
will be fighting the diaphragm 
to try to compress and move 
yer fat gut 
flabby six pack - flabby diaphragm 
and that is not the only option 
when you buy and eat 
ribs 
beef or any other meat, lamb, pork 
you can move your ribs 
closer together as you rib meat 
your inter costal muscles 
contract 
we need another analogy 
consider a bucket 
consider half a bucket 
half cut away vertically 
consider the bucket handle 
 with the half bucket  
upside down 
that is your chest 
your chest if the half bucket is  
nailed upside down to a wall 
the wall being your spine 
half bucket upside down... 
when the handle swings free it 
approaches the wall 
your ribs sag down and towards your spine 
now forget the half bucket and 
imagine a stack of bucket handles 
attached to your spine 
in the middle section 
the T spine 
the thoracic spine 
if the top handle stuck out horizontally 
because it was fixed to your clavicles 
collar bones 
and there were muscles in between each 
bucket handle, or rib 
and the next 
if the muscles contract the handles, ribs  
move closer together 
and the lower ones move 
because they are separately attached to your spine 
at the ends 
the middle bit of the handle 
the sternum - breast bone 
moves 
away from your spine 
inflating your lungs 
not if there six inches of blubber 
encasing yer six pack 
it's another price we pay for  
verticality 
yer pigs is designed to carry their blubber 
between their legs 
below their guts 
humans don't go in for crawling around on  
all fours 
so our breathing is affected by 
blubber that weighs on our ribs when we 
lie on our backs 
and 
inhibits our puny little inter costal muscles when 
we want to move our ribs away from 
our spines 
being overweight is a whole hill of bother 
a pre-existing medical condition 
 
  
for a variety of reasons 
various health and wealth statistics are 
collected a variety of areas with conflicting boundaries 
we have s glimpse of  
North East and Yorkshire 
having quite a high number of people in hospital  
due to Corona virus illness 
around the 2,000 mark 
and probably a very similar number of deaths 
on the other hand 
James Cook the regional trauma centre for  
Tees valley and North Yorkshire  
to late April 2020 
recorded 130 CoViD related deaths 
and we have an explanation for that 
North East and Yorkshire includes what we could call 
The Leeds - Bradford area 
the culture on Teesside is.... 
the target is a home of their own for 
every adult 
the culture in the Leeds - Bradford area is 
security in numbers 
big extended families including several generations 
sharing  
sharing a kitchen, sharing a bathroom 
social distancing work a treat on Teesside 
not so much in  
West Yorkshire 
and so... 
not so much an ethnic but a cultural split 
and not so much a 
rich - poor split either 
as so often 
the  
functionally illiterate 
are not 
really good at taking advice 
they, as they say, are best 
nudged towards thinking that 
best practice 
is 
cool 
 
  
we think of  
Jimmy Nail 
we continue to fail to spell 
Aufhueidesein Pet 
and we consider the  
troops stationed in Germany after the Second World War 
and the contractors working in Germany later 
and we see the logic in the idea that 
the culture in 
Scotland 
North East England 
and  
Germany 
to be aligned 
and with culture.... 
epidemiology 
the fate of infections 
and 
we consider 
the contrast between 
take-away food culture 
versus 
cafe culture 
we consider a stratum in society where 
many people eat take away 
don't have a dining room at home 
eat on the fly 
have  
en-suite bathroom facilities 
and consider their life style 
the most challenging for an infectious epidemic 
and of course  
beer halls 
when Germans socialise 
they tank up on alcohol 
  
back on the 20th April 
the BBC in North East England 
produced a report expanding on a 
news item about the 
 independent elected mayor of Middlesbrough 
that they had broadcast the previous day 
we have referred before on the idea that 
a third of the residents of Middlesbrough are 
functionally illiterate 
we have also commented that we believe that 
it is our understanding that 
everybody in North East England - including Middlesbrough 
plus most people in Yorkshire 
who are on benefits 
are on 
Universal Credit 
how the hell is anybody on Universal Credit 
who has been on Universal Credit 
for months if not years... 
going to have their finances affected by 
the CoViD-19 epidemic - pandemic? 
they have no job to loose 
they are exactly where they were at Christmas 2019 
so how does some  
'think' tank 
come to the conclusion that 
Middlesbrough will be the UK town that will be 
hardest hit 
by CoViD-19? 
there is only one answer that makes any sense whatever 
this think tank must think that Middlesbrough 
has the crown for 
workingandclaiming 
the black economy 
working for tips 
guvvie jobs 
that is not a helpful suggestion 
and you know what 
what with VAT and Tax Returns 
if the people of Middlesbrough 
have been spending more than they have had in 
in benefits and declared income... 
perhaps that is where the idea came from 
and here's the thing 
goods bought in Middlesbrough shops 
could be bought by anybody if paid for by cash 
but credit card, debit card, and on-line purchases 
especially if for delivery to Middlesbrough addresses 
will inform the picture of  
local wealth or poverty 
wherever there is a big hospital on the patch of 
a small local authority 
if you divide the number of CoViD deaths 
around 150 for James Cook 
to 20th April 
into the population of Middlesbrough 
and not into the population of 
Tees Valley and North Yorkshire 
you get quite a high per capita death rate 
soooo 
they know you know 
the government like 
there used to be a big deal with the likes of  
South Tees 
people used to buy things 
out of the catalogue 
20 or 38 interest free payments 
100 payments with added interest 
Littlewoods 
others 
and the stores had their own delivery vans 
Blue vans called White Arrow 
had a white arrow on a blue van 
and you could tell coppers and the steelworkers didn't buy from the catalogue 
what their wives did with the 
housekeeping, 
another matter 
they bought from 
Binns, Newhouses, Wright's Tower House 
Tower House on Linthorpe Road was demolished and it's 
McDonald's now 
and one of the others is called 
Debenhams 
now 
never was no House of Fraser 
nor Harrods 
on Teesside 
anyway you could tell coppers didn't buy from  
the catalogue because one day in the run up to Christmas 
a White Arrow van was hi-Jacked 
in Grangetown 
and the parcels taken 
and the copper investigating said 
loads of kids won't get their Christmas presents this year 
you fail to deliver... 
you have to re-deliver 
Ricker's brother Peter's best mate was 
boss of the NatWest and got  
cashiered for 
the Blue Arrow Affair 
easy to confuse... 
when he was a lad Ricker made twenty five quid 'cos 
his brother was so 
dog with two tails when he first got his 
Couttes Bank account that he sent Ricker a cheque 
for his birthday - just the once 
just to prove to his - their - dad that he had  
made it 
Couttes no longer belongs to NatWest 
couldn't have Couttes - one branch in Charring Cross Road? 
belonging to the government 
 
  
we don't know this.... 
we understand that 
in mid April 2020 
the current owners 
is that Ineos? no idea, Huntsman? 
the current operators of  
Olefin 6, previously known as Olifine6 
on Wilton International, in Redcar 
shut it down 
due to 
they only have - by reputation - 
ten days storage capacity for 
petroleum products 
we have not herd that they have decide to 
do routine maintenance during the CoViD scare 
but they probably have 
 20th April 2020  
we don't normally take the trouble to say 
told you so 
but we have to point out that we have said 
don't rely on soap and water as a defence against 
viruses 
and that advice must be taken in tandem with the 
undisputed decision and advice that 
clinical gowns 
cannot safely be 
washed 
to a safe usable condition 
it's a worry 
that those who advocate  
soap and water 
are very firmly amongst those who 
do not back up their 'advice' with 
data 
 
  
we are at this time looking at 
old farts' predictions 
about CoViD-19 
and what we see right now is a sub species of the 
The Army demands re-armament funding to prepare to 
re-fight the war we just won 
this particular version is also a version of 
'out of an abundance of caution...' 
we will recall the worst thing that is remotely similar 
that has ever happened before 
and assert that  
History is about to repeat itself 
and the problem with this is illustrated by 
shall we say 
The Tay Bridge Disaster 
what we can say about that is that the bridge that was built  
in a little English valley a while before the 
ill fated version of the Tay Bridge 
dodged a bullet 
there's a town on the M54 a bit north west of 
Birmingham in England 
we could say the town is in Shropshire 
and a part of it is called 
Ironbridge 
and the whole of it - the town - is called  
Telford 
New York, New York 
so good they named it twice 
New York City is in The State of New York 
like 
 London, England 
New York, New York 
and so 
The Iron Bridge, is in Ironbridge 
THE Ironbridge 
and from today's perspective 
we could say that The Iron Bridge is lucky to survive 
for one very simple reason 
it was built from a kit of parts that were cast 
in shapes almost identical to 
the shapes carpenters would have cut oak trees into 
to create a kit form bridge 
what the people who built  
The Iron Bridge did was to 
build a wooden bridge kit and 
instead of erecting it 
they used it as a pattern to create moulds 
into which to  
cast iron 
because they knew nothing else 
and cast iron does not react to  
forces, stresses and strains 
the way that oak does 
and when the idea was scaled up to create the 
first, ill-fated Tay Bridge 
it got blown away 
with great loss of life 
because it needed storm force winds plus  
a massive passenger train running over it 
to destroy it 
and so the subtle difference between 
those who fail to remember history 
are bound to repeat it 
and 
those who fail to STUDY history 
are bound to repeat it 
the members of the 
old farts' society 
are presently absolutely convinced that 
because the  
influenza epidemic of 100 years ago 
came in three increasingly worse 
waves 
the current pandemic has to have two more 
even worse waves 
and that they will come before a vaccine  
can be developed 
and hence 
We're all doomed 
the Chinese epidemic came after thirty years of 
economic boom 
not thirty years - Boar to First World - war 
 the European epidemic 
comes 12 years after the European economic bust 
the economies and the peoples of China and Europe are 
probably in the best state of readiness to confront 
a pandemic 
that could be imagined 
no sense here of nations on their knees 
awaiting a 
coup de grace 
elsewhere? 
South America? 
who knows but not China or Europe - including the British Isles 
there is no doubt that this pandemic  
requires a response 
however 
although the threat is the same - almost identical 
an influenza virus few if any people have 
specific 
immunity to 
but ninety odd percent of the people in its path 
bear no resemblance to the 
folk liberated from 
Belsen concentration camp 
or who survived the construction of 
The Bridge over the River Quai - Kwaii 
but what is the relative health quotient of 
a secret smoker - Bullingdon Club former member 
and a concentration camp survivor? 
we need to fight today's battles not those of the past 
in medicine as much as in anything 
we see people die on training exercises 
yomping over the moors in 
SAS selection tests 
these were, are fit people, doing just that bit too much 
like Douglas Adams or Andrew Marr playing squash 
this being a Prime Minister business 
isn't difficult enough for me 
I'll do it on ten Churchillian cigars and two bottles of brandy a day 
just like yomping with twenty stone in my back pack 
without water and in 30 degree heat 
and so  
out of an abundance of 'caution' 
we have to say 
The Chinese are lying about there being no second wave 
we must remain locked down until 
either there is a second wave in Europe 
or 
we develop a vaccine 
 
  
we are trying - not very hard - to remember 
in the past did the media refer to themselves as 
The Fifth Estate 
they see themselves as a part of government 
what they clearly do is to think 
1 that their boss should be richer than any politician 
Lord Rothermere, Condad Black, whoever, should be richer than 
The Rees Mogg clan 
to mix generations 
2 that senior politicians and administrators should be 
even lees well educated and dense than their 
op. ed. scribes 
and so 
with the BBC... 
when Tweedledee is indisposed 
they fill their news schedule with 
clips of Tweedledum 
and we note that 
'cos thiis a war on 
there is no Points of View style analysis of 
what the punters think of the  
output of the propaganda machine 
ITMA 
when there was a real war on there was ITMA 
Its That Man Again 
in which context.... 
we will delve a little deeper into 
immunology 101 
we consider the merger of 
police and fire services 
'cos there's nowt ta do 
cops are issued with cruisers 
and told to  
go play with the traffic 
when they take over the Fire and Rescue Service 
they don't want the actual emergency service people to 
continue to watch telly and do fry-ups 
between shouts 
they want them to cruise the streets too 
in their big red trucks that can't get down your street 
the immune system... 
some things can be picked up in a blood sample 
think of those things as  
police cruisers 
let's just say 
young people 
always up for a bit of action 
bored with soaps 
always on the Twitter looking out for some fun 
older people 
engrossed in soap opera story lines 
need to hear the big loud clangy bell to 
get them off the sofa 
the immune system 
keeps the 
Big Guns 
tucked up safe the th garage until 
the minions twitter back with some sort of alarm 
what we have to think of when regarding the immune system is 
a DJ or MC 
disc jockey or master of ceremonies 
who has junked the CD - compact disc - collection 
and does requests from 
Spotify 
the big big problem with the immune system is 
auto immune disease 
when we are born be have - our immune system has  
access to every  
lets step back here 
imagine that for every product of living activity 
there is a poison 
imagine that actually there are not many poisons but each poison is 
confined, secluded, locked away 
by a door that can be opened by any one of 
an almost infinite number of keys 
we have tried to explain the concept of 
SELF 
before 
imagine that some of the keys that are capable of 
releasing the Wrath of God 
are bits of YOU 
or more exactly 
MATCH 
are replicas of 
bits of you 
to stay alive 
to avoid auto immune disease 
you need to  
destroy those keys 
before they lead to them causing you yourSELF 
being destroyed 
and there is a developmental period when 
a window in time 
EVERYTHING 
your immune system comes into contact with 
has its key destroyed 
any future contact with bits of stuff that were  
present at roll call during that window 
will not 
set off the alarms 
the problem with this is that this roll call is not 
very early 
as an example 
sympathetic ophthalmia 
if some of the contents of one eye are 
released into the blood stream through trauma or disease 
your immune system can launch an autoimmune attack on the 
fellow eye 
and destroy that too  
so, but 
people keep recording 
New Music 
it has to be added to Spotify 
say there was some sort of 
Chinese Wall 
between  
Spotify in China and Spotify in Europe 
somebody in Europe makes a request to a DJ who has 
an all zones access to Spotify 
she play some weird stuff 
and everybody covers their ears... 
but what if it's  
an ear worm 
and the crowd can't get it out of their heads? 
major bummer 
and so... 
the reason why young uns can be exposed to a novel virus 
and not pack out their blood stream with 
antibodies  
as older folk would is 
they's chilled bout this 
they got it covered 
they know the combination for the lock 
no need to clog up the roads with 
big red trucks 
laters 
BUT... 
immunology 102 
most of us 
got a spleen 
it's a very bloody article 
get a whack in the guts 
and your spleen is the major candidate to cause 
internal bleeding 
so lot of trauma victims have it out 
'co folk don't drop down dead without it 
it does a thing 
yer spleen does 
a ot of people - surgeons 
regard the spleen as not much different from 
the appendix 
a bit or a liability and no use to God nor Man 
yer spleen is the re-cycling depot of your 
blood circulation 
our Ricker had an enlarged spleen 
and so did his mam 
and he had this interesting conversation with 
Keith Barker 
a GP 
Ricker sez 
when I was still growing I had splenomegally 
Keith sez 
you can't have had a spenectomy 
there would be a scar 
I didn't say splenectomy, oh never mind 
 before Ricker gave his mam big floppy tits 
by his requirement for milk.... 
his mam didn't like  
swimming cozzies 
cos 
her ribs - especially on the left side 
stuck out 
further than her tits 
she had had childhood infections and splenomegally 
at an age when her ribs were just 
green sticks 
and were moulded out into a bulge by her spleen and to some extent 
her liver - on the right hand side 
and so 
AND SO 
get an infection when you are young and your spleen and liver 
clear way the mess - the evidence 
get an infection when you are older and 
you will have heard of  
sclerosis of the liver 
not non digestive components of your insides are 
spleen, pancreas, liver 
they are the support system for your blood supply 
and they all get sclerotic 
and their work rate falls 
pancreas problems - main symptom, diabetes 
so in the elderly 
infection leave 
more debris, for longer, in the blood stream 
and that can be detected and 
it can cause micro embolisms 
minor blockages 
in the lungs and the brain 
hastening death  
and so 
just because you can't find debris from an infection in  
the blood of the young 
does not mean that they do not have immunity to that pathogen 
  
it's a bit frustrating that some 
cultural references are universal 
and some are very generation specific 
so taking the universal idea of the  
Swiss Army Knife 
and the generation specific equivalent of the 
Thunderbirds 
Thunderbird 2 pod selection sequence.... 
where is your Spotify? 
your cloud storage? 
it is in your 
bone marrow 
all that pluripotetiality 
wide range of possible options 
lies with the 'mother cells' in your bone marrow 
and as we said to damp down autoimmune disease 
we destroy keys 
but perhaps we should say 
door bells 
when you  
develop immunity 
during an infection or as the result of an 
immunisation 
you cause a proliferation of the specific types of 
antibody production cells in your bone marrow 
they don't continually produce antibodies 
there are just more mother cells sitting waiting to produce  
the antibodies that are needed to tackle a particular 
antigen 
so you can't measure enhanced immunity from the  
titre 
concentration 
of the antibody in circulation 
you can only detect  
presence 
and as we say 
a healthy spleen will do good tidy-up 
you see there are generations of 
bone marrow cells 
granny cells don't produce antibodies 
mother cells produce daughter cells that 
produce specific antibodies 
immunity consists in having more mother cells 
primed and ready to produce 
huge numbers of specific daughter cells 
at the drop of a hat 
whenever that darn varmint shows its face again 
 14th April 2020  
Ricker is old enough to have enjoyed the 
'Kids Show' 
as defined by the cast of 
Mont e Python's Flying Circususus 
The Goodies 
the never quite made it as a partner in 
Terrybly, Terribly, Boring & Dull 
Solicitors 
Tim Brook-Taylor 
we like to do a Matt Cartoon style pun 
if we were Matt we would draw this  
Sam 
drawing together Timbo and face masks
  
A muffled titter ran around the theatre 
as played by 
Marty Feldman 
draw your own cartoon 
 
  
we recall the old Sam about schools 
schools are wonderful places  
when the kids aren't there 
and so to the police 
now that the streets are empty 
falling over themselves to do 
foot patrols 
empty streets don't 
puncture their dream world 
  
and of course we are being lied to 
we don't need mass graves for virus victims 
they are for the thousands of 
women and children who are being 
massacred in their own homes because they  
have men in them  
  
man 
1960s definition 
the schmuck who earns your child support 
wife 
2020 definition 
the daft cow who earns your child support 
wimin need wives 'cos 
they've had men banned from all the  
paying jobs 
 
  
 
  
one of those strange examples of circular reality 
has recently happened to our Ricker 
he got a snail mail paper letter from 
James Cook 
not the actual James Cook but 
the hospital named in his honour 
and it was a copy of a letter originally written to 
somebody else 
it wasn't a mistake 
it had been snail mail CC'd to Ricker  
on purpose, a courtesy not a leak 
and it had the prime recipient's details 
lightly crossed through 
what was interesting about it was 
it was from a  
hospital consultant 
and  
included in the top right hand corner 
the email address of that consultant's secretary 
and the nature of the circularity? 
a comment from a then soon to retire, male, psychiatric nurse 
to our Ricker 
a question 
how come you CC'd this email - original to the then local MP 
to your GP - general practitioner 
how did you get his email address? 
erm, he gave it to me... 
to speed up communications.... 
and the reason for this comment is 
the complete fiasco of the  
CoViD-19 death rate reports 
doctors have 
believe it or not 
it really is true 
DESK TOP COMPUTERS 
through which to  
communicate with medical databases 
how the fuck does somebody die and not get the death 
registered the same minute via the data logging system 
and yet we have something like Friday 10th April 
980 CoViD-19 related deaths registered in the UK 
BUT 
over 700 of them did not happen between 
5.00 pm on 9th and 5.00 pm on the 10th 
they happened up to several weeks earlier 
because the NHS still hasn't implemented 
fax registrations - 24-7 
billions of pounds worth of 
ventilators 
and the actual information depends of a  
nine to five office clerk 
and a typewriter 
and so to  
security and confidentiality 
at what point do the 
powers that be 
determine that 
you need security clearance to  
READ 
a doctor's emails 
but NOT TO 
know where to send them? 
these are examples of the way that attitudes 
snap from one extreme to another 
another example is how the hacks want to 
disclose secrets 
the bozo from the media asking  
when are you going to disclose those  stats 
and the patient boffin having to stand there and not say 
they are, and always were and always will be 
on the government Office of National Statistics web site 
without any security clearance 
you fuckwit 
 
  
all of which leads us back to the constant theme of 
just how long our Ricker 
has been knocking around 
because we have another of his 
back in the day examples 
the first computer language he learned 
in any depth  
was 
COBOL 
in fact it may have been the first language he ever learned about 
his first experience of computers was at 
Sunderland Polytechnic 
but at Teesside Polytechnic he definitely started with COBOL 
and the story was 
if you were a computer programmer in those days 
and with COBOL 
you worked out what you wanted the computer to do and 
with a pencil you filled in 
data sheets 
then you swanned off home leaving the data sheets  
in the office 
and the  
data entry clerks 
transcribed your program(me) instructions 
onto 
Jacquard cards 
and somebody 
fed them into the card reader 
actual cardboard sheet cards 
into the guts of the  
main frame 
and you went to your 
dumb terminal 
and issued a command to the main frame to 
run your code 
and when it didn't work 
you wrote some more data sheets and ordered up some more cards 
and there came a time when 
new fangled  
high level languages such as 
BASIC and PASCAL came along and you 
entered and edited your code for 
digital storage 
right there at the terminal 
and a room became vacant in the polytechnic 
the one where the data clerks had worked 
and there were 
redundancies 
or there would have been redundancies 
if the union hadn't negotiated 
re-deployment 
and  
natural wastage severance 
amongst the data entry clerks 
and so... 
we have fax in hospitals 
because 
Dolly and her friends 
know how to use a fax machiene 
and aren't ready for retirement yet 
 
  
 
  
something that has struck us is 
these runners and bikers 
are supposed to be running and cycling 
for the good of their health 
but they can't do 
social or individual distancing 
for the good of their health 
a lot of them do look really quite fit 
we do wonder how long it would take some of them 
to achieve the 
fat bastard status  
that got the Prime Minister 
a hospital bed 
if they gave up 
what we can't understand is why they 
if they are  
adrenaline junkies 
have not caused a world wide  
rowing machine shortage 
we conclude that a lot of them are not  
out for the good of their health 
but 
out on the pull 
like a game of musical beds 
if you ain't got a partner when the music stops... 
 
  
and another thing 
for all the world it does appear that this crisis 
discloses a lot of 'medics' as 
undercover journalists 
who have gone to all that trouble to qualify and get jobs 
in the health service 
in order to 
have a platform from which to attack the Tories 
however caring and keen to spend other people's money they are 
would you recruit any of them  
from down the pub to help you 
fix, fettle, mend your car? 
they seem to all be 
why haven't the government fixed this yet merchants 
like AA, RAC, Green Flag, operatives who tow you to a garag 
200 miles from home... 
they seem to be utterly clueless in matters 
scientific and medical 
and overflowing at the gunwales on 
social injustice 
  
this is a very accurate but not very relatable analogy 
to all these medics 
their 'work' 
science, medicine, etc 
is like 
figure skating 
and politics is 
ice dancing 
 
  
half a century ago the UK was a very different place 
there was and still is a particular 
Religious Minority 
called  
Jehovah's Witnesses 
they were and are a minority 
back in those days being a representative of 
a minority  
was not a recipe for 
fame and fortune 
we do not know the numbers 
but we do reckon that there have always been and still are 
a whole lot more Moslems than JWs in the UK 
we refer to fifty years ago because at that time 
the Cathy Come Home tendency amongst the 
chattering classes 
recognised JWs as a minority but 
designated them as  
a minority suitable for persecution 
not a elite 
just a minority with deeply held beliefs 
insisting on having 'their children' withdrawn from 
lessons on evolution 
was not the sticking point 
the cause celebre was 
JW parents denying their children 
blood transfusions 
on instruction from scripture 
the contrast with today is the 
culturally dominant minority - Islam 
we have seen very simple science 
alcohol based sanitisers 
versus 
soap and water 
and the chattering BBC 
and the  
'there are no winners here' 
Prime Minister 
we get scientific evidence for 
copper killing pathogens 
and no evidence about the relationship between 
pathogens and soap 
because... 
because  
well it is interesting 
ancient peoples cleaned their skins by 
rubbing on oil, fat, or grease 
and scraping it off complete with top layer of skin 
here in the absence of the Internet we are  
into our Ricker's mind and not his books... 
they scraped the oil and skin with a 
stridule 
not in the OED oxford English Dictionary 
not the printed version anyway 
they scrapped the mucky oil off with 
a locust's leg 
and then a locust-leg shaped implement 
and then 
they discovered that if they mixed 
wood ash  
from the camp fire 
 into the oil 
it worked better 
and wood ash is an alkali, a caustic 
and soap was born 
and then, when they found water 
in bathing quantities 
they discovered the lather 
all very good but all about 
exfoliation 
not anti-sepsis 
not about 
treating wounds 
one of the earliest wound treatments were 
moss  
and 
Stockholm Tar 
 that is a particular moss 
sphagnum moss 
what is quite interesting is the origin or the word 
alcohol 
a'l col 
no 
al-koh'l 
the power of 
antimony 
to turn eyes into those 
huge great things 
them a rabs fall for 
powder of antimony for staining the eyes 
the first  
eye shadow
and kinda 
toxic 
like English women in the 17th ? century? 
trying to make themselves 
pale and interesting 
by using lead white as foundation on their faces 
and rotting there faces in the process 
how we got from  
al-koh'l 
to alcohol we don't know 
but 
antimony - toxic 
alcohol - antiseptic 
 
 
  
if you accept that  
200 Sunday 5th April deaths are not recorded until  
Monday 6th 
and not reported until 
Tuesday 7th April 
then - give or take a handful  
we have had in the UK 
650 CoViD-19 related deaths per day 
for nearly  a week
we see no evidence that 
hospital bed occupancy has done anything other than 
reflect that 
perhaps at around 6,500 at any one time 
there seems no reason to presume that this 
the behaviour of the UK population 
in respect to CoViD-19 
will change, suddenly or otherwise 
and we would remark that the average number of deaths in the UK is 
15,000 per week 
and at present we have 
12,000 per week 
and we would expect this lower than aerage number in 
mid-spring 
and so CoViD-19 has not affected the death rate 
and this is between four and five percent of deaths 
being of people who have tested positive for  
CoViD-19 in hospital 
 
  
what we lack at the moment is numbers for 
How many exhibits in the 
Walt Disney Memorial Twilight Zones 
? 
 
 
  
it really so so fortunate that 
hacks and politicians have such 
short attention spans 
they really do seem to think that 
 the world would grind to a halt if 
there were no Prime Minister 
at this point we think we should pick up another 
  little problem with 
a little knowledge 
people are saying 
you can't destroy a virus by freezing it 
because we store them by freezing them 
here's the science as opposed to the 'science' 
when you put something like food 
into your domestic freezer 
that something will cool quite slowly 
and eventually freeze 
and when you take it out 
it will slowly thaw and 
the instructions on your frozen food will say 
don't re-freeze once thawed 
and that is because 
many - most? - items of frozen food are 
flash frozen 
if you run a lab and you want to preserve a 
well for instance 
a sperm sample or somebody's eggs 
you flash freeze them by  
dunking them into 
liquid nitrogen 
and the water instantly freezes into 
tiny tiny little ice crystals 
if you bung a slab of meat of a turkey 
into your freezer at home 
it takes hours for the meat to freeze solid and the  
ice crystals are huge and 
they burst the walls of all the cells they  
grow in 
destroying their 
'viability' 
we don't KNOW that freezing food and gear at home 
destroys viruses 
but it's a pretty good bet 
and we wanted to add a note about the word 
vaccine 
do you know where it comes from? 
vache 
cow 
cow pox to protect from small pox 
or more directly 
vacca Latin for cow 
 6th April 2020  
we should try to draw attention to a conflict between 
government and industry 
CoViD-19 is a SARS infection 
seeking a vaccine for this corona virus is like 
buying a speed gun to outfit law enforcement that 
can only clock the speed of 
Ford cars 
so that each cruiser - patrol car - has to be outfitted with 
a different, separate speed gun for 
every make and model of vehicle it may encounter on the road 
it is engineering specificity 
that takes time 
 
  
we have no idea how to spell the name of a 
male grooming product that was popular with 
footballer style influencers in the 1960s 
but if we say 
Brylcreme 
anybody who was around at the time will understand 
there are any number of products available to counteract 
frizz or fly away hair 
and they can be described as  
hair oil 
we talk below about the little hairs that sweep dirt out of the lungs 
well they won't do much sweeping if they have been 
to use the terminology of the 1960s 
plastered down with (hair) oil 
and that - in the lungs - comes in the form of 
vaping oil 
 
  
people associated with Oxford University are so 
bowed down with the weight of their 
arrogance and self satisfaction.... 
that 
it will be interesting to see their reaction  
if they never, ever, get around to  
testing and approving the  
antibody testing kits that 
the government has bought for them to 
play with 
in the sense that Oxford University is a  
brand 
it was interesting to see 
Whitehall 
turn to 
Brand Dyson 
rather than industry experts 
for help with ventilators 
 
 
  
betya don't know what 
TMV 
is 
tobacco mosaic virus 
like we said  
viruses can cause variegation in green plants 
and so... 
if you put elements of a pathogenic virus into 
the genetic code of a TMV virus and infect a crop of tobacco 
you can harvest something that can be injected to 
forewarn and pre-arm the patient's immune system to the existence of 
 that pathogen 
it's not exactly necessary to get BAT 
British American Tobacco 
to do that but 
if they want the positive publicity 
to set against the negative around the probability that 
the CoViD-19 death rate amongst smokers... 
is relatively massive... 
 
  
we have actual death rate figures for last weekend 
Friday 260 
Saturday 209 
Sunday 180 
Monday 393 
and so some may say 
Monday! a surge 
but 
BUT 
if you add 209 and 180 and 393 
and divide by 3 
you get 260 
and why/ 
consultants 
team leaders 
DON'T WORK WEEKENDS 
and so 
junior doctors don't switch off life support 
until after they have consulted with 
consultants 
mostly 
so consultants call life support 
just like they call resus 
and you get a backlog 
Monday morning 
for Tuesday's numbers 
back to 260 come Wednesday? 
looks like a plateau to us 
 
 
  
here goes with a comment on 
medical advice by 
vox pop 
a vox pop is an insert into a report that 
quotes 
the voice of the people 
and these days to avoid accusations of 
'upsetting somebody' 
they are rarely if ever followed by and 
expert rebuttal 
we mine the magic mind of our Ricker for a classic example 
The first time there was a fire in the 
Chunnel 
the Channel Tunnel  
or 
Trans Manche Link 
between Dover and the mainland 
all the lorry drivers who were involved 
were packed off to a medical centre for 
chest X-rays 
and this medical centre was in France 
and the drivers - a lot of them 
were British with primary care doctors, GPs, family doctors 
in the UK 
so they were handed their X-rays to take back to the UK 
for their primary health care practitioner to 
add to their files 
so yer 20th century equivalent of Dan Johnson 
grabs one of these truckers and his X-ray 
and the driver holds up the film to the camera 
a bit like the  
Dunblane Whinger 
more recently flashing his hip replacement X-ray 
at his mobile... 
and declares 
look at all that black 
me lungs is full a soot 
despite modern X-rays being 
digital 
because medics are used to reading  
X-rays in  
NEGATIVE 
bones show up white 
and spaces show up black 
last week we had some 
female 
CoViD-19 survivor 
bleating on about the black bits in her lungs 
on TV 
without correction   
 
  
here is another problem 
The problem of 
DNR 
in the UK a patient's notes can be marked DNR 
DNR stands for 
Do Not Resuscitate 
and the point is that most patients with DNR on their record 
a judged to be patients who would spend 
one or two months in intensive care 
and then die 
and so 
confronted with a patient in arrest 
you have two categories to put them into 
medical arrest 
traumatic arrest 
it is morally acceptable to  
resuscitate a patient in  
traumatic arrest even if they are DNR 
so their heart stops because 
a screen falls onto them in bed 
or Sunderland score a goal 
it is much more questionable to 
watch them quietly slip away 
and set about shocking them back to 'life' 
throughout this episode 
people will have DNR added to their records 
what the government are seeking to do is  
flag up very clearly that this will not be because of a 
shortage of ventilators 
and at a final reckoning 
the government will want to see and show statistics that say that 
the rate of DNRs did not increase during the crisis 
 30th March 2020  
as it goes, perhaps quite randomly 
long long after 
Walt Disney 
died his name lives on 
what we don't know is 
given that he had his, or some of his, 
remains cryogenically preserved 
so that he could be thawed out and 
brought back to life 
at some future 
life imitating art 
re-creation of one or more of his movies.... 
we are beginning to wonder whether there will be tanks for  
other forms of 
liquid air 
installed at 
the London City Airport 
so that city types can vote after  
Hotblack Desiatoo 
spending a year dead for tax purposes 
style 
they get thawed out to return to their 
yachts in the Caribbean 
so far as we are concerned the purpose of 
intensive care 
is to give time for the connections 
business, family, social 
to put the deceased's  
affairs in order 
before filling in the 
date of death box 
in all the significant documentation associated with their demise 
there is a concept in medical science 
our Ricker's experience only stretches to a  
rabbit 
the concept is  
the heart-lung preparation 
more human versions include 
brain dead 
anencephalic 
back in the days of  
freak shows 
there was a real live 
Headless chicken 
somebody had decided to kill the chicken for the pot 
by chopping off its head 
it kept wandering around 
they were taken by this and 
decided to drop food into the open gullet 
it lived for quite some time  
however, in all probability a technique was devised 
to produce living, walking, headless chicken for 
the paying public to gawp at 
just as the media observe 
The Nightingale Hospital in East London 
this is not 
dead man walking 
this is 
dead men rotting in hospital beds 
death warmed up 
you can keep these 'alsopeople' 'alive' for a couple of months 
but 
eventually they will need 
ecmo, dialysis,  
ECMO, Extra Corporial something or other 
the walking dead may remember this as a 
heart-lung machine 
its PROPER use is during heart surgery 
to take over from the heart and lungs whilst they are being operated on 
but 
The Freeman Hospital in Newcastle-upon-Tyne 
use a version to keep children alive whilst they wait for a 
transplant donor 
they are mostly what are called 
Berlin Hearts 
to return to our current patients... 
and they will still die from 
multiple organ failure 
morally, you should not put a patient on 
life support 
unless you have a clear plan about 
what TEMPORARY problem you expect them to overcome 
in the next three to four weeks 
however, we have enough tales of 
people waking from deep natural comas 
how IS Michael Schumacher the F1 motor racing ace, doing? 
to muddy the waters 
but here is one important difference 
the people who 
come round months or years later 
were quite young, fit and healthy at the time of 
their accident 
and in a sense 
could have snapped out of it at any moment 
most of these victims could at best 
snap back out into 
deep dementia and disability 
not so easy 
so we say about these people  
on ventilators 
are they awaiting a 
lung transplant? 
what we see is people who are waiting for 
the straw that breaks the camel's back 
for how many of these people will it be 
an infection 
for how many will it be 
a fall 
for how many will it be 
Sunderland failing to get demoted? 
and it is this 
and not 
two versions of the virus 
that makes the difference between 
a couple of packs of paracetamol 
and a ventilator 
 
 
  
our estimate 
based on published government figures is that 
the CoViD-19 disease outbreak in the UK will peak 
on 7th April 2020 
and that on that day 
1,250 people will die from the disease 
 
  
we are told there may be 20,000 deaths from  
CoViD-19 
that means that the projection is that  
by the time there have been 
10,000 deaths 
we will have passed the peak 
there was an aeroplane called  
The Something or other Clipper 
it was probably a Boeing 747 
and it landed on a Scottish village called 
Lockerbie 
and it is assumed that that happened because  
there was a bomb on board 
and it landed at the end of a particular street 
if it had happened on a Saturday afternoon or 
on a day when one of the local children was  
having a sleepover 
one home or garden could have had a dozen members of one family 
on site at the moment of impact 
that would mean that the deaths would not be 
evenly spread throughout the community 
discounting the passengers and crew 
there would be to that extent some element of  
the random 
in the death toll 
that's very different from saying 
this corona virus 
settles in a person's lungs 
if they have rubbish lungs they are at high risk 
it is pretty rubbish to say the 
probability of someone with good lungs dying from this 
is the same as a person with rubbish lungs 
if we simplify and add the number of people with 
COPD - chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease 
and cystic fibrosis 
we get a number pretty near the number of people at highest risk 
and so 
a country with so many million people has the prospect of  
suffering so many deaths 
population size  relates to death toll 
two differences 
we have listed reasons for COPD to include  
chemical and particulate intrusion to the lungs 
at the 'moment' when CoVid-19 hits a country 
the two factors are 
what proportion of the population have COPD for historical reasons 
and 
how good has that country been to that date 
at  
keeping people with COPD alive 
in a 'developing country' or war zone 
you get COPD, you die 
PDQ - pretty darned quick 
and so in a country with a poorly developed healthcare system 
you won't have many candidates for a 
corona 19 mediated death 
most of them will already be dead 
and so an underdeveloped country may be 
rated 'more successful' at dealing with CoViD-19 
than a developed country  
 
  
although this was intended for publication on 
30th March 
it was written earlier 
and down to the next 
30th March 
this was written on 28th March 
because some complete 
lame brain 
we understand his father has been diagnosed with dementia... 
is now chair of the health committee of the  
UK House of Commons 
we have to have 
why aren't we doing what they are doing  
not science based 
health policies 
and so we have the shift to the 
mushroom management method 
keep 'em in the dark and 
feed 'em bullshit 
and so we  
GUESS 
that we are being fed figures for 
number of people admitted to hospital  
1 with respiratory distress - breathing problems 
and 
2 testing positive for presence of the SARS corona virus of the year 2019 
and 
3 dying on that date 
and they give us an arithmetic series 
24/March - day recorded, or day published?? 
422 
25 march 463 
26 March 578 
27 March 759 
28 March 1019 
if we project this arithmetic series we get 
29 March 1358 
30 March 1693 
31 March 2103 
1 April  2588 
2 April  3073 
this is an arithmetic series 
no reference to medicine or biology 
the 'problem' is 
you cn take a span of any number 
a classic is 
number of vehicles on UK roads 
if we assume as above 
exponential growth in 
number of vehicles on UK roads 
we won't use real numbers 
can't be bothered to look them up 
if we set up a series like this 
2 million in 1950 
4 million in 1960 
8 million in 1970 
16 million in 1980 
32 million in 1990 
64 million in 2000 
you will see that 
like sheep in Wales 
there would be more cars on the raod 
than people in the UK 
by the year 2000 
and? 
it didn't happen 
quell surprise 
in the current case 
so long as you restrict your data gathering to 
people admitted with respiratory distress 
you will run out of people with 
COPD, lung cancer, cystic fibrosis, etc 
long before you run out of 
All Patients Admitted 
which is why there is a peak 
some will die some will recover 
most will recover without joining the data set 
the fact that they don't join the data set 
because they come in with a broken leg etc. 
gives the impression that the 
ustoo 
policy has worked 
  
30th March 
Bring out yer 
valetudinarians 
  
The Victorians had a word for it 
valetudinarian 
sickly, infirm 
solicitous about one's own health 
person disposed to live the life of an invalid 
Tees Valley version 
Smoggie 
can't work 
'ave you seen the muck in 'ere 
 
  
most of the people tested for 
presence of Corona 19 in the UK 
have been tested on admission to hospital 
most have proved negative 
the number testing positive is 
most of the 9,500 people testing positive 
and so 
the bulk of 9,500 admissions were positive  
and less then 500 have died 
we expect 
more of the people who are admitted to test positive 
and  
more of the people who die in hospital to test positive 
the proportion of both admissions and deaths are 
expected to reach around 80 per cent by the end of the summer 
the questions are 
will there be more hospital admission 
will there be more hospital deaths 
averaged out over the next six months 
the overarching question is 
will the virus lead to more deaths over six months 
or will it lead to 
a normal summer death rate 
concentrated into mid spring 
and here is the final question  
what are the Chinese doing with those  
massive hospitals they built in a fortnight? 
turn them into exhibition halls? 
hence 
hire expo 
don't build more hospitals 
 
  
no government can make life 
entirely fair 
it is clear that the current lockdown is being applied 
mostly to those people who are easiest to lock down 
however it needs to be remembered that the people who will be 
most heavily affected will be 
people operating in the 
black economy 
their goods and services will be in greater demand 
but also much easier to observe 
perhaps there should be a little app that 
pops up and asks 
are you sure you want to use the word  
black 
? 
anyway... 
in a country with a population size and type of the UK 
we expect around 2,000 deaths per day 
the pandemic is more ar process than an event but 
in the grand sweep of time 
it is reasonable to consider it alongside other 
events 
when we consider the difference between 
died with the virus on them 
and 
died from the effects of the virus 
it could be helpful to consider 
deaths at the time of another event 
just to illustrate the difference between 
association  
and 
cause and effect 
there will still be people alive who remember the 
first moon landing 
it was around 50 years ago 
consider the period 
two weeks before the moon landing 
to 
two weeks after the moon landing 
in that time 
2,000 people a day died - probably 
and so  
30,000 people dying that 'month' 
some of them will have passed away 
not knowing whether the mission went well 
some of them will have heard the 
good news 
before they passed 
learning about the outcome of the project had 
almost no influence on their  
length of life 
or time of departure 
but some may have had a  
I can rest in peace  
kind of resignation 
and this virus thing has a similar dimension 
died with the virus, died from the virus 
consider our Ricker's dad 
Tommy 
Ricker made a batch of  
elderflower wine 
Tommy liked it 
so Ricker and his mum decided to 
give Tommy a glass of the wine 
once every day 
and not have any themselves 
and 
the inevitable happened 
Tommy died less than a week after  
the wine ran out 
most routines will somehow 
eventually be broken 
lucky socks disintegrate 
etc, etc 
if there are  
2,000 deaths a day in your country 
it is when suddenly there are 
3,000 deaths a day 
that you should consider that 
something is up 
as we write... 
around 40 people a day 
are learning about the moon landings 
before they pop their clogs 
it's a worry 
but it is also worth remembering 
the whole exercise is designed to 
protect the health service 
not to 
defeat the virus 
in a sense the whole exercise is like 
moving to  
big school 
and discovering 
algebra 
or perhaps we should say 
geometry 
even wordsmith Tweedledee 
has discovered 
antigen and antibody 
but oh so sad to see him try to sell 
Hobbit Talk 
from his  
old uni, Oxford 
to the experts at a press briefing 
there's this  
how shall we say 
Blue Skies Thinking 
paper published by some people at Oxford 
what do you think about that? 
No, Prime Minister 
 
  
one thing we can predict... 
by the time this is published... 
if the normal death rate for the UK is 
2,000 deaths per day 
if, IF 
the death rate for April, May, possibly June 
is  
3,000 per day 
in July and August it will be 
1,500 per day 
we will have 
run out of critically ill people 
temporarily 
sometimes to some people the actual age of 
The Wisdom of the Ages 
can be a surprise 
we are thinking of all these  
young hacks 
on the recieving end of  
reader opinions 
and not knowing what lis beneath some of the assumptions 
one of the major things that people seem to be having trouble with is 
why is a meeting of three people 
just as much of a risk of 
cross contamination 
as a meeting of 300,000 people? 
the reason why older people have trouble with this 
is that if you were really quite young during 
The Cold War 
just after the end of the Second World War 
you picked up quite a bit of 
nuclear physics 
and the concept - without going into too much detail 
was that a 
Nuclear Device 
was that The Stranglers 
anyway the basic idea of  
how to set off a nuclear device was to 
use an explosive charge within the payload of 
Enola Gay 
we can never remember the name of the second bomber 
an A bomb and an H bomb 
well in an A bomb 
you have two intricately formed lumps of  
fissile material 
with a space between them 
and behind each an exposive charge 
and to set off the bomb you 
detonate the two explosive charges 
and this forces the two lumps of fissile material 
togther 
and the combined mass of the - weight of the 
new single lump 
exceeds the critical mass for that element 
and the device 
goes critical 
as the reactor at Chernobyl did 
and  
wham, bang, thank you marm 
that's where the oldsters get the idea that 
there is a safe  
number 
rather than a safe distance 
we should say 
Chernobyl was the result of a 
wonder what would happen if? 
moment 
whereas the more recent 
Japanese reactor disaster was the result of
combined with 
storing spent fuel in the roof space 
instead of sending it to 
Sellafield 
for reprocessing 
 
  
It's sometimes interesting to listen to what 
people say 
and gain an insight into how their minds are working 
take two concepts 
social distancing 
self isolation 
it appears that on 24th March 
most mobile 'phones 
not particularly, subscribers 
were sent a text saying 
self isolate 
to tell of Freudian Slip is when 
people come on the telly and say 
stay at home and wash your hands regularly 
in how many of those people - who say that 
is that a tell indicating that they see a virus as 
an example of 
spontaneous generation 
if you are isolated at home 
you are in one of two groups 
you have the virus 
you don't have the virus 
what the heel does  
washing your hands  
have to do with 
swapping groups? 
see we create waste 
we void waste in urine 
people such as 
Howard Hughes 
who drank their urine to avoid  
loosing vital essences 
were unwise 
but they were failing to get rid of 
something newly generated 
waste from their blood 
by-products of their life processes 
we don't  
MAKE 
viruses 
we allow them to  
MULTIPLY 
they have to come from somewhere 
in whatever quantity 
no matter how small 
we need 
the seed 
 
it puts one in mind of the question 
why is the barnacle goose 
called the barnacle goose? 
before people understood 
migration 
there was a time in the year when there were 
geese 
an a time in the year when there were no geese 
and so people searched for something that 
resembled barnacle geese 
and they found that barnacles had the same 
black and white stripe pattern 
so they concluded that 
the geese hibernated as 
barnacles 
or all died and left barnacles as 
eggs 
 
 
  
Here we have a CoViD-19 case study 
before this particular virus 
got out of China 
woman in her 80s spent  
seven weeks in hospital with 
pneumonia 
last week she returned to hospital with pneumonia 
and died within three days 
could the hospital spare a bed for another seven weeks? 
did they find a virus on her that wasn't there a couple of months ago? 
did she get less intensive help 
second time around 
did she die from CoViD-19? 
if so was that 
Primary due to the virulance of the disease 
or secondary to 
increased pressures on the health service? 
  
and all the while we have the 
BYTs 
Bolshie Yob Tickoes 
who make up the medical profession... 
peeling labels off supply boxes to 
'generate' evidence that 
The Tories are Killing People 
but are they? 
are they saying 
if you don't let us stop treating yer granny 
you may be dead from the 'flu 
by Easter 
? 
we are all familiar with 
tears brimming 
tears rolling down cheeks 
what most people don't consider is that 
tears are constantly flowing and 
draining into our noses 
and so they take virus with them 
whether or not we  
touch our faces 
and this is why they contain 
lysozyme the enzyme that damages pathogens 
and as we know 
the rate at which tears are produced 
varies 
hence a streaming cold 
BUT 
the eyes are more delicate than the stomach and so 
major pathogen destruction occurs in the stomach 
if we are considering what happens in 
what shall we say 
the harbour of our body 
rather than the port 
enclosed be not genuinely 
within 
a distinction between 
The Coast Guard 
and 
The Harbour Police 
  
we said earlier that 
grey squirrels may be using squirrel pox virus 
as a weapon against red squirrels 
to move to a plant based example 
most people are aware of the concept of 
variegated greenery 
and some may know that flowers  
particularly 
tulips 
are known fro a major part of their beauty 
being down to having a virus on board 
indeed many variegated plant varieties are subject to 
reverting to plain green 
if they loose their virus 
and gardeners have to cut out the reverted bits to 
maintain the virus infection 
at the very least we can say 
viruses are not  
inevitably lethal 
 23rd March 2020   
as we write 
we have no idea when these words will be published 
we have a couple of observations on the concept of 
The Playing Fields of Eton 
We have this idea that rich people pay a lot of money to 
have their children well educated 
the consequence, the concept not appreciated 
is that the 'Best Schools' are 
Military Cadet Training Establishments 
they do not prepare their pupils to 
understand the world 
but to 
re-fight the Napoleonic Wars 
the other point is informative trivia 
The First Hospital in England to declare itself 
Full due to CoViD-19 illness 
is situated on 
the Playing Fields of Harrow School 
not Eton 
it is right hard by 
Harrow School Swimming Place 
over the road from the actual school 
again we see real world evidence that 
illness is the bedfellow of wealth 
not poverty 
it is often the arrogance of wealth 
in face of healthy living guidance 
that puts most strain on the health service 
 
  
we are going to outline three scenarios 
we know some people will say that we are suggesting that 
all three will happen 
to quote the great 
Edd China 
you can't argue with stupid 
we set up three scenarios that 
HAVE NOT AND WILL NOT HAPPEN 
1 Corona Virus number 19 
is just another name for the 'flu 
2 Corona Virus 19 
arrived from space and will wipe out  
all life on Planet Earth 
3 Corona Virus Number 19 
is a virus that has been kicking around in a 
geographically isolated region 
and it has been spread by 
increased trade and tourism 
well number 3 may be true but let's pretend not 
the bane of anybody trying to use 
USE not Create, collect 
statistics 
is that the rules for compiling them are 
always being changed 
so you are rarely comparing like with like 
so trends may be glitches or artefacts 
what appears to be a disruption to a trend may 
in fact be a disruption to data collection methods 
and so here we pretend that we have a 
pure time series 
numbers that record the same thing in the same way 
all the way through 
here's the test 
are the numbers of people dying with the infection 
1 rising 
2 steady 
falling 
let us say that we are confident that there is  
only one way the new infection can kill people 
in this case 
by oxygen starvation due to  
inflammation of the lungs 
what we have in the real world statistics as published is 
this person died and we found the 'new' virus on or in the body 
the test used is not the old fashioned bacteriological test 
take a sample and smear it on a Petri Dish 
and see what grows 
the test being used is essentially the same as 
DNA profiling used at crime scenes 
DNA profiling as developed in 
Nottingham or Leicester 
is a crude version of what is now used 
we do sequencing now  
they did patterns then 
and probably still do for  
Law Enforcement purposes 
but that is a side issue 
what matters is the CoViD-19 test is 
very sensitive 
and we get that result in the stats 
we do not get that broken down into 
the general headings we would expect in 
an autopsy 
a post mortem  
report 
we get  
was the suspect there 
not  
why or how did the victim die 
and so to our three scenarios 
we have a concept of 
excess deaths 
if we take people who died of respirtory failure 
we expect more to die in the winter 
than in the summer 
that in a sense is counter intuitive 
we would expect from logic  
as opposed to from experience 
that all that pollen and hay fever and such 
would mean more deaths from respiratory failure in the summer 
than in the winter 
but it is not so 
and so... 
how do we calculate the  
excess deaths from CoViD-19 
? 
if between 30 and 40 people dying each day from 
lethal respiratory disease 
where found at post mortem to be 
smeared with 
alder pollen 
or grass pollen 
or corona virus number 19 
we would come to a different conclusion from if 
on day one we found 30 dead people with CV 19 on them 
and on day 2 we found 60 dead people with CV 19 on them 
and on day 3 we found 120 dead people with CV 19 on them  
here's the bit that's difficult 
if we had a serological test - blood test - for 
CV 19 antibodies 
we could test the dead people's blood 
and see whether they 
died whilst fighting CoViD-19 
or whether it was 
an innocent bystander 
that deserves thought and investigation 
This planet is chugging along reasonably well 
not in terms of how well it is being managed 
but in terms of how much less badly it is being managed 
than it used to be 
 
at times like these we do reflect on the  
bio-medical 
the default position of 
the press and the authorities is 
notwithstanding the 
Cult of the Pulitzer Prize 
is this the big one 
is Armageddon upon us? 
the default position is 
anything 'green' or ecological will 
cost jobs 
and any consideration of 
any discussion of 
matters medical 
is done for the sole purpose of gaining 
sexual gratification 
since most male police officers have not yet 
discovered the existence of 
let alone the purpose of 
the little button just above the 
joint between the legs on the 
Barbie Doll 
they are married to... 
they assume that 
sexual gratification is a 
purely male thing 
and so matters related to 
children and medicine 
can safely be handed to 
The Ladies 
since they will just  
kiss it to make it better 
and so there is a medical crisis and 
the 
men in sheds 
decide the answer will be 
a better mouse trap 
like sending the men off to 
boil some water 
during childbirth 
send the men off to 
make ventilators 
while the  
womenfolk 
clean up the mess 
Ricker's Gran died when he was 4 
it was Christmas Eve 
like not the day 
like 8 o'clock in the evening on the day 
his mam was visiting her mam 
and the excitement killed  
anyway 
Ricker was 4 
but he had a half brother who was old enough to 
have a wife 
and that wife was a nurse 
and Ricker's mam and her step daughter-in-law 
spent that Christmas Eve 
Laying Out 
Ricker's Gran 
so she was fit for 
the Menfolk to see 
ans so Ricker knows he has to produce an 
engineering based explanation to 
viruses and immunity if the explanation is to have any 
cut through 
with the press 
imagine then 
that you are working in the 
shed at the back 
of a world famous museum 
and an artefact is brought in that must be preserved as is 
but you are to try to get it working 
think of a model of an old steam engine  
you need a drive shaft the connect  
two part of the mechanism together 
if you are lucky 
the two ends will need a rod of the same diameter 
and you will have that in stock 
your day will go smoothly 
if you are 'unlucky' or lucky if you are  
looking for a challenge 
you will have to select some over sized rod or bar and  
turn down each end as appropriate 
 
when we say 
when we throw our hands in the air and cry 
not everything in medicine is about 
mutation 
we do not mean  
The Universe is and always was and always will be 
exactly as God created it 
we have faith in Darwin 
whether or not the universe is a 
supra galactic super computer 
evolution in the 'real world' does not happen at the  
speed of a weather forecasting computer 
evolution grinds wondrous slow 
we 
humans involved in 
animal husbandry and plant breeding 
can speed it up with  
un-natural interventions 
but 
without  
adult supervision 
in nature 
major genetic changes are  
almost always 
lethal 
we know that in some parts of the world 
before the introduction of 
world wide click of the mouse 
social media and before that 
the movies 
in some parts of the world 
the flatter a girl's face 
the more likely she was to  
breed 
in other parts of the world 
the larger and more prominent her eyes 
the more likely she was to breed 
and so 
geographically anchored diversities evolved 
this is in contrast to 
islands where 
only one bird 
for example a finch 
finds its way there and 
lfe is hard and 
yer basic generic finch struggles but 
the weirdoes 
find a niche 
and each family in its niche gets more and more weird and  
eventually evolves to a point beyond  
actually fitting in in the mother family 
  
since 
virus particles are not 
crews by teams of  
little green men 
the selection process for them is rather  
one sided 
although some of the 
bomb disposal expert humans  
will blow themselves up in the process 
over quite a short time 
the variants of viruses that 
humans can tolerate will persist 
and the variants that humans cannot tolerate 
will  
go out of production 
 
however 
that being the overall picture 
although most people will come to terms with their new 
slightly modified 
tenants 
or 
more nearly 
jewellery 
some individuals will 
whenever they encounter a 
kryptonite medallion 
go into 
anaphylactic shock 
remember kryptonite was not toxic to humans
 
we would love to get the message across that 
evolution is about 
SELECTION 
not 
MUTATION 
and survival of the fittest 
suffers from 
the fittest means 
the best fitting 
not the biggest and strongest 
and so to return to our museum example 
if each model fits on a table top 
and the technician is offered 
a tree trunk 
by stores 
the technician is not going to 
SELECT the tree tunk 
 
  
  
from time to time we come up with an idea that 
needs writing down before we forget it 
this idea is about  
keeping your distance in groups 
most in the developed world people get the opportunity 
whilst children 
tp play with 
magnets 
thinking more about the more powerful magnets 
to keep them strong 
they are supplied, as toys, and otherwise 
with a 
keeper 
there are two main styles of magnets 
horse shoe magnets 
bar magnets 
 horse shoe magnet has a single keeper 
installed between  
the poles - the ends 
bar magnets are stored 
in school science labs at least 
in pairs side by side, head to toe 
with a keeper at each end 
with a good strong magnet 
it is quite a job to remove the keeper from the  
poles of the magnet 
it's an amusing little game to 
put the keeper on a table 
and see how close you can bring the magnet to the keeper 
without the keeper flying through the air to 
jump into place on the poles of the magnet 
as so with a virus 
it's like throwing a crisps or a mint into the air 
and trying to catch it in your mouth 
get the distance wrong.. 
and your treat ends up on the floor 
 16th March 2020   
Our Ricker does not watch 
Last Tango in Halifax 
for a very short time 
Ricker's sister was a fellow pupil with 
Anne Reid 
at White House School 
in Kirkleatham Street, in Redcar 
White House school, white bricks, Pease 
Coatham 
been there before 
  
one of the more  
unhelpful 
lines promoted on TV is 
this pandemic is nothing whatever to do with 'flu 
if you have been recommended to get this year's 
'flu jab 
and you haven't 
for God's sake 
go to a pharmacy - not your GP - and get one 
your body is not  
like a parking space 
you can have more than one infection at the same time 
even if the 'flu vaccine is no help whatever with 
CoViD-19 - of which we are far from certain 
you don't want CoVid-19 and 'flu together at the same time 
a lot of this talk how shall we say it 
you may have only carrots and no beans 
in a farmer's field 
but that does not mean you can't have 
carrots, bean, spuds, and asparagus , and 
God know what else 
on your allotment - kitchen garden  
and worst of all 
do not 
DO NOT 
deliberately expose yourself to the likes of 
the 'flu 
in the hopes that it will keep CoViD-19 out 
  
  here we are going to apply a motoring analogy to 
the viral pandemic 
in the UK 
almost everybody recognises the term 
MOT 
as standing for  
Ministry of Transport 
and  
an MOT 
or an MOT test 
is a test to generate a certificate to say 
a tested vehicle is fit for use on public roads 
and naturally MOT has become more widely used for 
an in-servce check of fitness 
the thing about an MOT is that it is entirely 
safety orientated 
and so there are two sorts of classification of failure 
a vehicle can fail because it has so much bodywork rust 
that it is beyond economic repair 
it could fail because it needs a light bulb replaced 
it will not fail if it has 
scratched, mildly dented and surface rusted bodywork 
a car will not crash as a result of being 
a very unfashionable colour 
or having disgustingly dirty seats or carpets 
despite its new MOT we will scrap it anyway 
those are the people we need to protect? 
obsessing about protecting fit and healthy 80 years olds 
from having a temperature for a week 
should not be used as an excuse for 
letting a bunch of folk with dementia 
drown in their own saliva 
say you have a village in which over a period of ten years 
thirty people die 
say twenty of those people had 
a Ford motor car 
this is a very weak link between 
having a Ford car and dying 
it is very easy to test a patient who is very ill 
to check for one particular virus  
and fail to check for any others 
if you leave a number of cats 
home alone 
and your furniture is damaged - scratched to death 
in the absence of CCTV 
do you blame all the cats? 
in all probability you blame the cat that 
most recently joined your household 
and so we are 
underestimating the number of infections 
and over estimating the influence of the new virus 
in morbidity and mortality of patients 
what we should be looking for - in China 
four months down the road 
is 
chronic effects 
a change in the level of health of the survivors 
we have the medical histories of the victims  
there are few accounts of  
people who were fit and healthy before infection, dying 
  
ther is no validity whatsoever to the idea that 
anybody over the age of 70 
who contracts the virus  
will die 
or even need more than a couple of packets of 
paracetamol and some honey drinks 
all the people who have died WITH the new virus 
have been over 60 
does not lead logically to 
everybody over 70 who contracts the virus will 
need to be put on a ventilator 
the first question journalists should be asking is 
what proportion of people who were over 80 and  
living in Wuhan 
six months ago 
are alive today 
and how does that compare to the proportion who 
survived the corresponding period  
in previous years 
that answers the question 
is dying from this infection 
related to being elderly? 
since this virus is the new cat in the household 
is it destroying 
all the furniture 
or has it just just taken exception to 
one particular cushion 
  
The problem we have in the UK with the 
why aren't we doing what them other people are doing 
brigade 
is that they have dug up 
Passover thinking 
a viral infection is not a  
miasma 
a cloud that will sweep across the land and leave 
a shower of rain 
avoided by ducking indoors 
the virus, the infection, is not 
out there 
it is in other people 
and all this cleaning is of minimal value 
in the worst case scenario 
it will always be in them 
even after they are immune to it 
you too need to be immune to it  
we cannot rely on it 
mutating to a more benign form 
we have to learn to live with it 
and anything else the 
gastronomic adventurers dig up for us 
that is the risk 
we will take three viruses 
small pox 
human papilloma virus - HPV 
human immunodeficiency virus - HIV 
small pox is a simple lethal viral infection 
right from the very start 
the very start was that 
having a bout of cow pox 
gave you immunity to small pox 
the basis of inoculation and vaccines 
most viruses take over a cell >
a cell of a bacterium, a plant, an animal, a person 
and rather in the sense of a 
home invasion 
take over the facilities to breed 
like a burglar getting the baby sitter pregnant 
HPV does something different 
it digs up the garden and plants hash 
it doesn't  
borrow the facilities 
it turns up the heating 
it switches the cell into a 
proliferative mode 
so far as we know 
HIV targets cells in the immune system 
when we say that we don't mean it 
what we mean is 
the cells that HIV is able to break into 
happen to be cells involved in immunity 
they probably swallow it in a way that other cells don't 
just doin' their job  
like bomb disposal experts 
and get blown up by a virus no other cell would go near 
it's tough to build up immunity to a virus that 
goes straight for the military 
we don't know which of those  
CoViD-19 is 
it is Probably PROBABLY quite a lot like 
but not exactly the same as 
the sort of virus we can keep down to a 
harmless level 
we may even get lucky and  
do a small pox on it 
we don't know YET  
we think it is time to do a bit about 
epidemiology 
regarding the current pandemic 
we have been told that the source or epicentre or 
patient zero 
was associated with a 
live food market 
separately we have been directed towards 
pangolin scales 
we have a virus 
it is spreading because there is no 
herd immunity to it 
almost anywhere in the world 
the appropriate contact tracing exercise would be to 
identify a community - anywhere n the world where there was 
a herd immunity to this virus 
a place, however large or small, where 
almost nobody got sick, 
 whether or not they test positive for the virus 
and then you do on that population 
serological - blood - tests for antibodies to the virus 
and then you cross reference to any 
'novel' foodstuff that has recently begun to be  
exported from that place  
foreign country or enclave 
to Wuhan 
it is clear that to stop this happening again 
Naturalists should be 
out there 
collecting samples from all manner of wildlife 
so that their viruses can be characterised  
and vaccines put on the shelf 
BEFORE some crack pot, arty farty, chef 
decides to put 
yet another 
superfood 
on the menus of the world 
and we wish to distinguish 
Gordon the Moron Ramsey 
from  
Heston 
who applies new techniques to 
dependable food stocks   
regarding  
vox pops 
why do the BBC think that they should inflict 
their 'rushes' on the public 
just to 'prove' that they are not censoring public opinion 
regarding testing for  
the CViD-19 disease virus 
there are two tests 
the swab - nose and throat swab - test 
and a test not being done yet 
the serological test 
the swab test tells us whether you have the virus 
that's it 
it does not tell us whether you have the disease 
the serum test will tell us 
whether you have or have had the disease 
there is no test, and never will be a test 
that tells us whether you are 
susceptible to the virus 
there are no people who can be identified as 
likely to get the disease 
except categories such as 
immunosuppressed 
and as we said 
too weak to cough 
vulnerable people can be identified by their 
history 
not by a lab test 
  
we will now try to give a relatable concept of 
a carrier 
you have a body that has  
surfaces 
and 
insides 
in a sense this could be seen as 
surfaces - your garden 
insides - your home 
most people who don't want their home 
infested with wild mice 
will at the first sign of visiting mice 
lay down traps and poison 
most people would not set them around the 
boundary of their garden 
your body does not do that in terms of 
anti bodies 
the immune system is  
internal 
and so any virus on YOUR surfaces will be 
safe from your immune system 
however, as we have said 
safe from the immune system 
but not safe from 
drying out , ultraviolet light etc. 
so there is a vestibule 
nose and mouth cavities 
where the virus is safe from your immune system 
and safe from the big bad world 
but still will not remain viable for very long 
maybe a couple of days 
  
now we bring in another concept 
tidal volume 
at rest - that means, at work 
sitting at a desk 
each breath shifts around  
half a litre of air 
the lungs are a cul-de-sac 
somewhere along the evolutionary road 
things evolved that 
didn't get their oxygen by 
passing water over gills 
they developed a push me pull you approach 
people who study fossils tell us that 
insects escaped the water long before any other type of life 
or is that any other non-plant type of life did 
so we set that aside and consider 
animals evolving out of fish 
but more importantly this somewhat risky concept of 
having lungs that do not drain 
it's one of those imperfections that results from the random nature of 
evolutionary history 
fish have lungs as well as gills 
we have fish now that can live out of water 
mud skippers 
the thing about the lungs that fish have is that they are not 
designed for  
exchange of gases such as oxygen and carbon dioxide 
their name gives away their function 
fish have a mechanism to control and adjust their 
buoyancy 
like as ship but in reverse 
a ship takes on and pumps out water as balast 
to perfect its trim and ride height 
fish have the reverse 
a structure called a 
swim bladder 
that they use to adjust their trim and buoyancy 
by filling with gas 
it has no ducts to the water  
or does it? 
do fish blow bubbles when 
they want to sink? 
there are species of fish that  
blow bubbles 
they make floating nests for their eggs 
from air bubbles 
but we don't think the swim bladder has anything to do with that 
perhaps some mud skipper types 
developed with a duct  
like a hare lip on a human - a defect 
a defect that got useful to a 
fish out of water 
if you wanted to DESIGN an out of water 
gas exchange organ 
you would design it with a sump plug 
design it as an analogue of the gut 
but the lungs weren't designed 
they evolved as a result of a need colliding with a  
defect 
and so we need to 
cough 
normal people - not athletes 
have two litres of air in them when they have breathed out 
and two and a half litres when they breath in 
and the air change is 
at the top 
for a virus in the nose and mouth 
trying to infect a cell is like 
trying to pitch a tent in a fast flowing river 
what you get is saliva and mucus 
nothing for the tent pegs to grip 
your insides are - male form 
a main road and a cul-de-sac 
female form, a main road with a  
cul-de-sac at each end 
except that the lower female cul-de-sac has 
a cut through, ginnel, walkway, whatever 
that's a different story 
the main road is 
the gut 
the cul-de-sac is the lungs 
in the lungs there are 
two major clean up mechanisms 
little hairs called cilia 
that are a bit like the thing where the hairs on your arms 
stand up and relax when your hair stands on end 
they beat up and down to shift mucus and any trapped 
soot, bacteria, and viruses 
towards the mouth 
and the other clean up mechanism is 
the cough 
the cough clears mucus that has got out of the  
tiny crevices - actually more like tiny bunches of grapes 
into the tubes of the lung 
one of the problems with ait pollution - including smoking 
is that the cilia get gummed up or killed 
a bit like for those who know about these things 
inner ear deafness when the bits of the ear that 
pick up vibrations 
get damaged 
or never form properly 
and cystic fibrosis 
is where there is 
too much mucus in the lungs and or it is too thick and sticky 
irritation cause over secretion of mucus and we get 
facultative? - temporary - cystic fibrosis 
grape type bit full for mucus not air 
starve the body of oxygen 
providing oxygen instead of air 
only works if 
1 only part of the lung is gummed up 
or 
if the patient is so weak that 
their tidal volume is  
way down 
shallow breathing 
broadly 
suction will only clear the tubes 
not the alveoli - the grape style end organs 
which is why you need a chest drain... 
overall, adapting cystic fibrosis therapies to 
pneumonia a pleurisy is the sort of last resort  
or if you want that in English... 
Healthy persons commonly aspirate, 
 but normally defence mechanisms usually  
clear the inoculum without sequelae. 
 Aspiration pneumonia includes three syndromes 
 based on the nature of the inoculum 
1 chemical pneumonitis 
2 Bacterial infection 
3 mechanical obstruction 
as noted below 
bacteria and fungi can live on - eat 
many substances 
viruses need to infect living cells 
broadly a virus in a human needs to gain access to 
actual cells - usually via access to the 
blood circulation 
the irritation caused by a virus 
can cause the body to secrete the likes of mucus that 
protects cells from virus particles 
but at the same time all that 
soggy bandage mucus 
is food for bacteria 
and so 
the primary disease may be a viral infection 
antibiotics are important to suppress the 
secondary bacterial flowering 
they don't kill the virus 
but they do help the patient
  
two of the cutest things in nature are 
Koala bears and Meercats 
they appeal because they 
spend a lot of time - like humans 
with their spines vertical 
their heads stacked above their chest above their hips 
what happens here is... 
consider a beer bottle 
a person or animal with a vertical spine 
their lungs at least 
can be seen as an empty beer bottle 
that is stood up 
left out in the rain 
rain will enter through the neck and 
in time water will build up in the bottom 
an animal such as a dog 
could be considered as an empty beer bottle 
laid on its side in the rain 
no matter how much rain gets in there 
due to a flood or simply rain falling down 
the bottle will never get even half full 
if you sit around a lot 
and you begin to cough and splutter if you 
attempt to lie down 
that may well be an indication that you have 
congestion of the lungs 
a build up of fluid on the lungs 
 9th March 2020   
we are not here to understand the details of 
Scunthorpe and Port Talbot steel works 
one or both of them has three tiny little 
blast furnaces 
one or both of them has four tiny little balst furnaces 
we are not going to research how many of them are in use 
we know that one a Port Talbot has had money spent on it recently 
we are now told that 
around 50 people will soon be loosing their jobs at a 
for Christ's sake 
steel distribution depot in 
DARLINGTON 
whose idea was it to sell Redcar steel from a dump in Darlo? 
and so on top of that 
as we said before around a dozen train crew  
shifting bloom from Scunthorpe to Redcar 
cut 
raw - unrolled - steel will not be run from Scunthorpe 
to Redcar 
Lackenby and Skinningrove will 'soon' 
for a while  
get their steel from 
a new electric arc scrap melter 
to be built at Lackenby 
when that is up and running 
there will be 400 job losses in Scunthorpe 
as one blast furnace is shut down 
later 
the strip mill will be put back into  
Lackenby Mills 
the beds and infrastructure are still there from when it was 
shipped to China in the first place 
at that point there will be a question 
do we 
 1 go back to shipping raw steel to Redcar from Scunthorpe 
to feed the re0instated strip mill 
or 
2 do we build a new blast furnace in Redcar to feed the mills 
or 
3 do we re-start the existing blast furnace in Redcar? 
there is a problem with option 3 
the existing mothballed plant 
can't run at less than 
3 million tonnes  a year 
that puts it in competition with.... 
the toys they play with in Port Talbot 
AND 
pipes are supposed to be made in 
Hartlepool  
and long products - railway rails 
for example for 
HS2 
are supposed to be made in 
Workington 
not flaming Scunthorpe 
and so it is not so much 
Death by a Thousand Cuts 
more like death - for SCUNTHORPE - by a dozen cuts 
400 out of 2000 jobs go as soon as the electric arc furnace 
at Lackenby is up and running 
less than a couple for years 
to reprise 
Lackenby HAD 
a strip mill and a beam mill 
it still has its beam - girder - mill up and running 
it just needs its strip mill back in the beds alongside 
in the pre-existing 
shed 
and 
rolls and motors are  
consumables 
they wear out 
all that needs to 
'come back' 
are the roll frames 
and for our Geordie neighbours 
rolls used to mean 
Davey Roll 
one roll per 40 tonne truck 
rolls are a bit like 
brake drums and discs 
you take them off and re-cut the surface 
but eventually they can't be re-cut any more 
in sum  
as a result of Scunthorpe-Port Talbot having 
six to eight tiny little blast furnaces 
and Redcar having a whopper 
Scunthorpe-Port Talbot has  
flexibility in terms of  
adjusting output 
BUT 
every time a blast furnace goes cold 
there is a risk 
greater with the smaller ones 
that they will have to be 
completely re-built 
in order to be able to start them up again 
However, this deal is more complicated than that 
So far as we can tell.... 
Port Talbot remains  
Tata 
and will for the moment continue to supply 
strip or sheet steel to 
The UK car industry 
what is quite interesting is that  
Jingye have bought 
Lackenby, Skinningrove, Workington, Darlington 
but ALSo 
Hoogeovens 
In other words they have bought 
Corus minus what Tata and Liberty have 
we think Liberty own Hartlepool 
and so 
we are unsure 
about how many jobs have been lost in 
The Netherlands 
at the start of this deal 
if we could say that the deal means 
closing one blast furnace in Scunthorpe 
and one or two at what was 
Hoogeovens
then we are a lot nearer to having enough demand to 
justify re-lighting Redcar 
and there is another dimension to this 
we can't check at present 
can't be bothered to check 
but Jingye has been described as 
Chinese 
we are not entirely sure that that is not  
more exactly 
Hong Kong Chinese 
that would make quite a difference 
 
  
we'd like to know 
why are the  
rich, powerful, and famous 
in such shockingly poor health? 
setting aside the concept of 
you've met this female 
bung her a few million or you'll  
spend the rest of your life in jail 
 
this movie mogul 
appears in court looking like death warmed up 
and the wimin say 
it's theatrics 
he knows actors and their tricks 
setting aside the fact that his accusers are from the same 
the moment he gets into custardy 
never mind jail 
he's whisked off for  
heart bypass surgery 
some may say it reflects the 
self delusional bubble in which 
rich, powerful, and famous people 
live 
people... Liz Tayler, and somebody who has just had a  
bio-pic 
Liza Minellie was it? 
so people not just men 
once The State 
has control of these people 
and stops fawning on them 
the state says 
we're not having you dying on us 
you WILL have a check-up 
and we will keep you alive 
AND 
our Ricker remembers having to have a  
chest X-ray 
to prove he didn't have TB 
tuberculosis 
before he was allowed to 
work with children 
much much later he recalls being  
frisked by a policeman 
to check whether he had an erection 
in a room full of women 
priorities change 
if it had been a rectal probe searching for 
contraband 
that would have made sense but this was a  
frontal only 
see how YOU like it attack 
probably standard  
'see if we can provoke the prisoner' 
procedure 
but there is another dimension 
was the male PC trying to check whether a  
'bloke' who can 
empathise 
with wimin 
really has any 
wedding vegetables 
at the same time 
Ricker was asked 
have you any illnesses 
he said yes 
and go a two minute argument from a woman  
who refused to write down 
Guillain-Barre syndrome  
because she didn't do 
writing 
just box ticking 
but the woman at the other end of the counter 
was quite happy to write down 
hazel 
for eye colour 
and while we are at it 
the rather lovely DC - Detective Constable 
Lnsay Forbes 
remember The Inspector Lynley Mysteries? 
DC Forbes reminded Ricker of Lynley's side kick 
Sgt. Barbara Havers played by Sharon Small 
never heard of her again? 
opened his clamshell mobile 
and instead of going beep it 
Dolce et Gabbbana 
and so clamshell 'phone gives a date clue 
Rickeer had been arrested for sending an email to 
Ian Swales MP 
that referred to the fact that 
women have simpler plumbing than men 
and therefore tend to be much more leaky 
that was before 
Period Poverty 
became  
a Thing 
and so on 
International Wimin's Day 
we can say there is still progress 
Ricker did get off in the end 
but it is quite interesting to contrast the 
 team of wimin set on Ricker a few years ago 
for 
mentioning Wimin's Things 
and the removal -post BrExit 
of the designation 
luxury item 
from sanitary products 
here we will reference from below 
the statistic that  
one third of 11 year olds in Middlesbrough are 
functionally illiterate 
this case was heard in Teesside Magistrates' Court  
and Teesside Crown Court 
in the magistrates' court 
Cleveland Police and the crown Prosecution Service 
had DC Forbes 
read out the emails in open court 
for the benefit of the bench 
they were all set to have her repeat the performance 
at crown Court 
but the judge said 
thta won't be necessary 
we can read 
there is no way Ricker can be accused to 
seeking to upset DC Forbes in this case 
but the CPS? 
oh it brings back the days of 
Joyce Grenfell 
comedy actor 
George, don't do that George 
Grenfell often played a typical 1960s 
WPC 
Woman Police Constable 
there are none of those today 
nobody with the rank 
WPC 
restricted to 
keeping children and sex workers 
out of the hair of 
real coppers 
the character was normally called 
WPC Pearly Gates 
referencing St Peter 
and 
Pearly Kings and Queens 
the question we have to ask is 
is this new found obsession with 
'domestics' 
a response to  
higher standards and greater demand 
or is it a response to 
having more wimin 
on the force 
in the courts 
in the probation service 
are these wimin still playing real life Pearly Gates? 
we know that there are at least  
three high profile 
unlawful killings of female police officers 
whilst on duty 
Yvonne Fletcher 
being the 'first' high profile case 
Cleveland police has to scrabble back to 
the 19th century to find and officer of any gender 
killed on duty  
other than by their own appalling driving 
which is the driver? 
we've got more female officers so we need to find suitable cases for them 
or 
we need to deal with these issues 
we can't get the 'lads' to do it 
better get some wimin in? 
and this is not about 
physical limitations 
barristers and judges 
of the female construction type 
who are in court and well protected 
from physical harm 
are pressured towards 
working in the  
Family Division 
it's almost like 
we have a dog section 
we have been ordered to have as many cats as dogs 
in the kennels 
what the hell are we gonna do with the cats? 
mouse patrol 
 
  
we understand that it was 
International Wimin's Day Yesterday 
Ricker had a think 
he asked 
what movie? 
and he thought 
Wall E 
the 'guests' on the space ship  
wimin 
but then of course he thought 
Boxing Helena 
all the time that we develop  
electricity and hydraulics 
we get closer to 
wimin no longer needing men to 
do the heavy lifting 
nobody sees the world from every available point of view 
we want to reference a  
Charlie Chaplin 
movie 
but this sort of thing always required a lot of 
back story 
if you see old buildings you see the windows are 
made up of small panes of glass 
connected with strips of wood 
it was essentially the development in mid 20th century of 
float glass - Pilkingtons 
Yes yes Ricker met Sir Alexander Pilkington 
at? 
Teesside Polytechnic 
incidentally he was there to demonstrate the first 
liquid crystal display, not float glass 
would the wimin allow either of them anywhere near  
these days? 
float glass made possible the introduction of 
'picture windows' 
windows not broken up with supporting glazing bars 
and so, back to Charlie Chaplin 
in the movie in question, Charlie is walking the streets 
of a working class section of an industrial town 
on his back is a wooden frame 
on the frame are sheets of window glass 
around 30 by 45 cm  
one foot by 18 inches 
Charlie indicates - silent movie 
to a street urchin 
this if you throw a stone and break a window 
Charlie is then miraculously on hand to 
replace the broken glass 
for a fee 
the days before  
DIY 
the days when wimin 
got a man in 
if anything broke 
the days before  
waiting 'til tea time and telling the 
man of the house to 
make use of the twenty odd quid a month for  
broadband  
and download a Utube about  
how to fix it 
and the wimin chorus 
wot? in THESE shoes 
wimin's complaints about the 
intolerable burden of femininity 
bring back images of 
foot binding 
binding little girls' feet so that they could not grow 
so that they were unable to walk, or work 
mainly associated with medieval China 
 
  
if we ever get back on line we have something to search for 
neuramimic acid 
as things stand we know very little about this 
we know the definition 
it is located at the region of a cell membrane where 
viruses attach 
cells - we don't know which ones 
have a structure - a sort of docking port 
for viruses 
and so we cells that have 
virus receptors 
if the cells the collect virus particles are 
part of the immune system 
they may have these docking ports as part of a process of 
destroying the virus 
to reproduce - even to continue to exist 
viruses need to be inside cells 
if some cells are designed to capture them... 
it is possible that if a cell has  
virus receptors 
and for some reason has 
defective or absent 
lysosomes 
the virus may thrive to an unexpected extent 
the other possibility is that some cells 
harvest virus particles 
to use as weapons 
we have said - below - that some viruses are known as 
bacteriophage 
perhaps some of the body's cells are seeking bacteriophage 
and catch some other type of virus 
 
  
 
  
It is a very, very, very long time since our Ricker 
last had his hands on an 
electron microscope 
and just to show how much things have changed 
it was at the 
Tioxide Reserch labs 
on Portrack Lane, in Stockton-on-Tees 
hence we stand happy to be corrected if these things have changed 
what we understand by an electron microscope is 
a microscope that does not use light to produce images of samples 
but a beam of electrons 
back in the twentieth century 
most people had a box in their home that produced and used a 
beam of electrons 
it was called 
the telly 
the TV - television 
modern TVs don't use that technology 
electron microscopes use a technology 
quite similar to the reverse of the of 
Cathode Ray Tube 
reverse in the sense of similar to the way 
TV cameras of the time worked 
what we are getting at is a technology where 
electro magnets moved beams of electrons 
in a similar way to the management of  
light rays 
 by lenses 
there is a major problem with 
beams of electrons 
they just don't pass through 
air 
and so where ever you are using beams of electrons 
you have to work in a vacuum 
this is no problem with samples of 
titanium 
or titanium dioxide 
or anything  
solid 
viruses are very small  
too small to see with a light microscope 
and so they have to be imaged by an electron microscope 
they are also very 
squidgy 
if you want to image very small sqidgy things  
with an electron microscope 
who have to either 
freeze them 
or 
more likely 
plate them 
with metal 
you bombard the sample with atoms of metal 
and a surface of metal is built up 
and that metal impression will 
survive the conditions 
vacuum and electron beam bombardment 
that exist, prevail, in the sample chamber of  
an electron microscope 
and so 
there have been 'images' of viruses kicking around 
for a long time 
but the impression of 
inside out golf balls 
is a bit 
how shall we say 
indirect 
at best they are images of 
what viruses look like 
in outer space 
and light has colours 
electron beams are not recorded in colour 
the colours are artist's impression added later 
somewhere in the chaos of our Ricker's 'library' 
there is a book full of electron micrographs 
real ones 
and they are all in 
black and white 
  
seeing as how Ricker has nothing better to do 
we'll explain how electron microscopes work 
light 
light is photons 
and photons have a dual nature 
in the words of the old timers 
they are particles that have 
St.Vitus' Dance 
they are particles that are ALWAYS moving 
and they progress from source - sun, light bulb, whatever 
to target, place, surface where they are absorbed 
they progress, process, but the also 
vibrate, veer from side to side 
and the distance they process - as in a procession 
whilst moving once from side to side and 
 back to the side where they started 
is called the 
wavelength 
blue light makes the trip quicker than the other colours of 
visible light 
because it is more energetic 
and so to has a 
shorter 
wavelength 
and the wavelength of the light determines 
how much detail you can get in an image 
AND 
electrons... 
is the same 
but they are much much more energetic than photons 
so they have a much shorter 
wavelength 
and can capture images of much finer detail 
simples 
 
  
if you are an ecologist you have two forms of 
optical assistance 
bineos 
and binocs 
lots of people have binoes 
they are 
binoculars 
binocs are 
binocular microscopes 
a  binocular microscope is an instrument for 
obtaining a low magnification view 
of a sample by 
reflected light 
if you are a  
medical laboratory scientist 
you will not be using binoculars 
you will be using 
binocular microscopes 
and 
transmission light microscopy 
routine light microscopy 
lies between 
the binocular microscope and the  
electron microscope 
but it is the one where the sample is sliced thin 
with a microtome 
and mounted on a glass slide 
so that a section can be viewed 
in an electron microscope  
the images are produced from electrons 
reflected off  
and not transmitted through 
the sample 
so far as we know 
nobody has yet developed 
computer aided electron tomography 
whereby electron are 'shone' through structures 
and a computer generates an image from 
data about how the electron beam is deviated and absorbed 
if such machines exist 
they are not used to generate the  
'virus images' 
of popular science 
 
  
 
  
we are somewhat blocked at present 
so we thought we would do some research 
just to see what the other guys think 
virus 
latin for - poisonous liquid 
intracellular obligate parasite 
that means it lives 
inside the cells of other species 
it cannot live anywhere else 
once outside the host cell 
it can go through a process of dying 
from which it can be revived by  
Google,Twitter, whatever, reference? 
by being a clown car that blunders into a gold mine 
we want to say here 
virus 'activity'? 
there is NOTHING going on here the likes of 
bees finding nectar 
absolutely the opposite 
put that completely from your mind 
it is inert - apparently lifeless, non-functioning 
outside the host cell 
the host cell has to have 
DNA or RNA 
it is invisible except under the 
electron microscope 
it's vanishingly tiny 
a few molecules 
those molecules are 
perhaps a protein coat, perhaps not 
depending on strain 
nucleic acid 
usually RNA 
ribonucleic acid - RNA 
deoxyribonucleic acid DNA 
definitions change 
once upon a time 
a virus was 
any kind of pathogen 
then the sub-divisions 
ultra virus and filterable virus came to be used 
what we now call a virus is 
the very smallest biologically active entity that is 
as we say 
something more than an enzyme 
some viruses are referred to as 
phages 
or 
bacteriophages 
these viruses specialise in being parasites on 
bacteria 
here is the bit that matters 
VIRUSES ARE  
UNABLE TO MULTIPLY OUTSIDE OF 
THEIR HOST ANIMAL OR PLANT CELL 
they can exist on surfaces and in media 
but they need to be 
in living cells 
in order to reproduce 
in relatable terms 
see them as male 
see them as having  
sperm 
but 
NO EGGS 
NO WOMB 
because bacteriophages can be  
grown 
in bacteria 
most research on and in viruses has been done on 
bacteriophages 
honestly, beyond their structures 
we don't know much about what viruses actually do 
   
the first  
take away 
from this  
is 
you can't study viral infection through 
conventional - visible light - microscopes and slides 
they are way too small 
the second take away is they are not a fungus but 
they are a parasite and we know that 
a lot of fungi live on they  
dying parts of trees 
the thing about the over 80s being the main victims 
is that their cells are loosing their vitality 
their defences are down 
and one of the basic ideas about virus damage is that 
a virus blunders into a cell 
it sets about using the facilities 
and turns the cell to making virus 
like Nazi Germany invading Poland and making the local car factories 
switch to making tanks 
the virus does not make virus 
it forces the cell it has invaded to make virus 
and swords to ploughshares 
we are developing treatments that force a virus 
to force a defective human cell 
to make the product - often an enzyme or hormone 
that that cell should be making but isn't 
once a cell has been switched to tanks manufacture 
virus manufacture 
we have no way to switch it back 
if we are old or ill 
we may have no healthy cells left 
that is not the usual state of affairs 
because 
however old we get we are geared up to producing 
skin, and gut lining, and lung lining, cells 
and so for the most part 
old people who die from this sort of thing 
drown in a soup of secretions, virus, and dead cells 
here's the kicker 
we have said 
don't put casualties in 
THE RECOVERY POSITION 
IN THIS CASE 
in this rare case 
put the patient in the recovery position 
less affected lung above the more affected lung  and put a chest drain 
in the lower lung 
the drain should be right into a brochus 
not simply into the  
pleural cavity 
the companion of pneumonia is 
pleuricy 
so the gunk can drain out without coughing or suction 
the people who will die from CoVD19 
corona virus disease number 19 
are either 
too weak to cough 
or some blame idiot - possibly themselves 
has rammed them full of  
antossin 
cough suppressing meds 
and another thing... 
nerves are very complex structures 
but the are essentially 
tubes of salty water 
encased in fat 
and so 
some viruses merge into the fatty walls of nerves 
and get carried off by the structures of the nerve 
like a termite blundering into a tunnel that's 
part of an ant nest 
and then we are talking  
chicken pox and generally pox viruses, that sort of thing 
not the pneumonia an pluricy type virus 
differnt wall material 
not 
different 'strategy' 
  
and one thing to be on the look out for is 
the unproductive cough 
if you are ill and you experience the cough reflex 
and nothing comes up 
that's a worry 
if you are not ill it is probable that what came up was 
so little - the routine maintenance load 
that you did not notice it 
because it should not normally come up as far as your mouth 
spitting is generally not 
phlegm 
but  
saliva 
  
we have heard this comment about 
don't touch your face 
in relation to hygiene 
we think we should introduce a couple of 'new' words 
into the conversation 
lysosomes - lysozomes 
and 
lysozyme 
lysozyme an enzyme found in mammalian tissue secretions 
such as tears and white of egg 
white of egg is avian not mammalian but let that pass 
except to ask 
does this have any bearing on the  
attenuation of vaccines produced in eggs? 
lysosome 
Greek - loosing body 
nearly spherical bodies smaller than mitochondria 
which are thought to isolate autolysing enzymes of the cell 
and so prevent 
self-digestion 
they have been called mitochondria B 
and light mitochondria 
we do not know whether they have their own 
DNA 
and are therefore the same sort of 
obligate commensal parasites that mitochondria are 
up sum 
tears disinfect your eyes 
and salive disinfects your mouth 
it is 
wounds 
that represent the major infection threat 
the watchword is 
it'll never get better 
if you pick (at) it 
it is much more important to keep wounds clean 
than to avoid touching your face 
 
 
  
we have no idea how long ago 
'call me Dave' 
David Cameron 
was UK Prime Minister 
but we have seen at least one really significant change 
since then 
this speaks to the folly of 
consulting with the industry 
in times of crisis 
people in the UK are not at unprecedented risk from 
COVID19 
CoViD 19  
to be more precise 
however the problem points up a snag with 
deciding that one particular industry is  
all important 
it is often a little off-putting to see 
adverts from the likes of 
wateraid 
where a tap is running to waste 
with clean drinkable water 
after an intervention by a charity 
it contrasts with UK call me Dave era 
propaganda 
born out of 
a leaking water pipes situation 
regarding 
hose pipe bans 
and the like 
we have moved quite smartly from 
water is precious 
to 
water is spreading disease 
all over the place 
a government that 'delivers' for one industry 
let the pipes leak, we'll handle public opinion 
damages other industries - the health service... 
and the general public good 
wash under running water  
or with alcohol 
you are not saving the planet by 
rinsing your toothbrush 
in a puddle - very elegant posh new bathroom puddle 
of stagnant water 
there are people saying 
soapy water destroys pathogens 
we are far from convinced about this 
water hot enough to destroy germs - pathogens 
will scald 
do not rely on the temperature of washing water 
on your person 
as opposed to water used to wash 
crockery and cutlery 
to destroy pathogens 
the posh term for hand washing - body washing - is 
ablutions 
from the Latin 
to wash away 
soap is a mild caustic 
it is generally made by treating fats with 
full blown caustic materials 
the function of soap is to  
lift away the surface layer of the skin 
exfoliation 
pathogens in a bowl of tepid, slightly soapy water? 
hot tub, sauna 
alcohol destroys germs 
for best results it should be 
60 per cent alcohol 
but the much weaker whiskey etc. 
is all to the good 
there used to be much talk of 
surgical spirit 
 
  
We're going to put down a marker here 
Jingye Group 
is a Chinese company 
and today they are signing up to buy 
British Steel 
for £50 million 
and they have a plan to invest 
£1.2 billion 
in the company 
The initial job loss projection is 
The loss of 400 jobs 
 
What they get for the 50 million is 
a steelworks in Scunthorpe 
and a set of rolling mills at 
Lackenby, between Redcar and Eston 
we have to admit we don't know how much 
steel rolling capacity at Scunthorpe that includes 
what we do know is that Lackenby rolls structural steel 
girders 
Scunthorpe rolls  
long products 
we think that means 
railway track 
as of the present... 
Scunthorpe sends one train load - ball park figure 
of cast steel - slabs and blooms - mostly blooms 
blooms are like steel tree trunks but of square section 
to Skinningrove each week 
and considerably more of the same to Lackenby 
In terms of the published plans of the UK authorities 
'a Chinese company' has plans to build an electric arc furnace 
at Lackenby 
to generate steel from scrap 
it seems unlikely that this plant will produce 
less steel than the amount currently transferred by rail 
from Scunthorpe to Lackenby and Skinningrove 
this could mean that one of  
the dinky little blast furnaces at Scunthorpe 
will be shut down and replaced by electric arc steel from scrap 
and that randomly fits with the loss of 
400 jobs  
we understand that the redundency figure for 
Redcar is around  
fifteen 
we guess that is the number of the 
train crews and associates 
involved 
and if that is so they sould be easy to re-deploy   
 
  
we do keep battering our heads against one particular brick wall 
we understand that one third of  
children leaving Primary School - aged 11 years - in Middlesbrough 
are 
 functionally illiterate 
given the investment in 
class room assistants 
some sort of explanation is called for 
we have seen the idea of  
breakfast clubs 
the idea that these children can't read 
because they turn up to lessons hungry 
nobody seems to have an explanation as to how they can be 
so undernourished as to be unable to concentrate on lessons 
and at the same time 
overweight  
or  
morbidly obese 
never mind illiterate... 
many of these kids arrive in Primary School 
aged 4 or five 
doubly incontinent 
in nappies, diapers 
is this  
for lack of cash in the home? 
or is it for lack of care? 
there is a 'Blue Collar Mantra' 
never learn how to do anything 
that you aren't willing to 
do for the rest of your life 
is the reason  
hey kids, don't learn how to read and write 
it'll load you with 
responsibilities 
children have this charmed phase in their 
normal development 
between 
The terrible twos 
toddler tantrums 
and 
teenage rebellion 
it could well be that efforts to persuade children to 
value maximising their potential 
should be focussed on them when they are between 
five and ten 
this agegroup tend to think their parents are saints 
and frankly, without adult male family members 
because the wimin are being protected from 
coercive control 
and all male teachers are paedos 
all they have for ideas about male attributes come from 
shoot 'em up 
computer games 
 3rd March 2020   
We have below published some thoughts on 
Oxford University  
and it's relationship to 
The British Civil Service 
when an organisation 
launches a new initiative  
it is easy to assume that it is NEW 
mostly it will be a revamp or adaptation of 
something traditional 
Oxford keeps saying they want students from 
deprived backgrounds 
this is an adaptation of the system under which 
the illegitimate offspring of The Nobility 
were  
sent away 
to Public Schools and Oxford University 
on the pretext that 
it wasn't because of the identity of their 
secret fathers 
but because they were 
ever so clever 
ans so the tradition of them then finding their way 
to Court 
in  
Non-hereditary roles 
roles they did not inherit 
but could be appointed to 
grew up 
and the demise of 
Rotten Boroughs 
constituencies where there were 
a handful of eligible voters 
is quite recent in terms of these institutions 
 2nd March 2020   
This is a review of what is below 
we want to use this idea of 
grey squirrels versus red squirrels as an explainer 
even though we are not entirely certain it happens 
one of the ideas that comes up is the idea of  
people who are immune compromised 
being at greatest risk from viruses 
we really want to place the lethality of virus infections on the scale of 
autoimmune disease 
to stretch a point 
in the normal way of things in , for instance, Australia 
it is quite routine for travellers to camp overnight 
and start a camp fire 
in bush fire season that may be forbidden 
to put it another way 
if the fire service are out on a job 
they may extinguish a neighbour's 
pretty display of candles 
with extreme prejudice 
as 
collateral damage 
when we say 
pre-existing condition 
we mean 
the immune system is 
already out on a job 
and it may react in a 
trigger happy way 
to the least sign of trouble 
sometimes we call that an auto immune response 
bullets get sprayed around all over the place and 
there is collateral damage 
friendly fire 
when a grey squirrel detects a squirrel pox virus 
it shrugs 
when a red squirrel detects a squirrel pox virus 
all hell breaks loose 
and so in a way 
the people who die from these viruses may be 
1 already at death's door 
2 may respond with something akin to 
anaphylactic shock 
to the arrival of the novelty  
 
  
When our Ricker worked for a small family run chain of 
Opticians' shops with a factory in Godalming in Surrey 
Bateman's ? 
he shared a room with a Kenyan Asian 
and so perhaps he has some insight into the mind of 
Priti Patel 
Ricker's room mate was an aerospace engineer and 
he kept moving jobs because 
he wanted to live and work in the UK 
these companies hired him with a view to sending him out 
as a sales engineer in the 
Indian Sub-continent 
in the first instance... 
the Colonial British 
had The UK, India - the continent - and  
swathes of Africa 
at their disposal 
and so they sent, settled, re-planted 
the wily little Indians 
there is some confusion about the evolution of 
ethnic slurs 
time was there was a removable 
paper golliwog behind the label of every jar of 
Robertsons’ Jam 
But wog derives from 
wily oriental gentleman 
oriental is the opposite of 
occidental 
The Orient 
is the land where the sun rises 
The Occident 
is the land where the sun sets 
and then there is the gender politics 
did wog become unacceptable because of 
a reference to wiley 
damning someone with feint praise by describing then as 
too clever by half 
or effeminate 
womanly wiles 
if you are loosing the arguement 
flash what you keep between your legs 
is wily a distraction from a failure of fact or logic? 
we suspect - without evidence - that golliwog derives from 
goggle eyed foreigner 
and when you witness 
David Lamy MP in full flow..... 
we digressed... 
so they were sent , settled, re-planted 
the wily little Indians 
into Britannia's African lands 
to organise the locals into a workforce 
when the Africans gained independence from 
London 
they were left with their now resident 
overseers 
and they were more keen to be rid of them than of The British 
and so they were sent 'back' to the UK 
and not back to Asia 
there is parallel to this an element within 
anti-immigration sentiment 
that is along the lines of 
I'm up, pull the ladder up 
To turn to the UK Civil Service 
there is a clue in the name 
Civil Service - Military Service 
the problem is 
you can't - generally - send a civil servant on a 
suicide mission  
if they become an embarrassment 
and so to Oxford University 
we have no stats on what proportion of the 
First Division Association 
the union of the top Whitehall civil servants 
are Oxford graduates 
we suspect it is very near 100 per cent 
and Oxford University is forever bleating on about 
wanting to broaden access 
the thing about this is that it is an example of 
both ends against the middle 
their prime clients are the sort of people who  
Own Scotland 
or 
half of the South Island of New Zealand 
and the people they want to recruit are  
people who's families 
don't have a pot to piss in 
they don't want to 
broaden access to 
The Middle Classes 
they want students who are distinctive to an extent 
way past weird 
and what do they intend to do with those of their graduates 
who own less than ten thousand acres of  
Grouse Moor 
? 
they intend to establish them as 
Senior Whitehall Civil Servants 
so that they can  
do the bidding of the university's paymasters 
in developing countries graft, corruption is for 
the benefit of politicians 
in the UK 
let us say up until fifty years ago 
corruption was for the benefit of 
Members of the House of Lords 
and administered by Oxford University's  
placemen within the civil service 
Kenyan Asians are accustomed to being 
turfed out of places where they are seen as 
too clever by half 
nd perhaps too honest and fair dealing to 
understand the nuances of how to 
keep the nobility on top 
families who have previously 
ruled East Africa on behalf of the 
London House of Lords 
may not be so keen to rule the UK 
on behalf of Oxford University 
However, in the present context 
Oxford University has had almost half a century of 
treating Whitehall like a  
Steel Town 
you pack ex-con(VICT)s and military drop outs to 
sign on the pay roll at a steel works 
if you are Oxford University you 
give your fuck wit graduates a  
Double First 
and pack them off to Whitehall 
and now the shit has really hit the fan 
when, no longer can they say 
nuffin to do wiv me guv 
Brussels, The EU, Europe 
take your problems there 
this is a  
private Tea Room 
 
  
Here's a bit of social history in the making 
we start from having three quarters of our children 
overweight 
then we have minimum unit price for alcohol 
and we have 
a sugar tax 
and then we say 
people on Universal Credit should 
get their  
almost pure sugar 
foods 
free from Food Banks 
if minimum unit pricing for alcohol comes in in England 
taking the next strand 
shooting galleries - safe places for street drug consumption 
will Food Banks 
The Trussle Trust 
be applying for 
alcohol licences 
so that they can distribute alcohol free to 
people on Universal Credit 
? 
is the idea that 
people from the underclass should be so fat that 
decent middle class people of all ages 
can out run them and avoid being knifed? 
 
  
perhaps this is as good a place as any to consider a little discussed aspect of 
slavery 
and in particular the enslavement of native Africans 
Africans were desirable as slaves in the  
West Indies and The South of America 
because they thrived in the climate and in the work 
they were productive and not worked to death as 
the victims of slave labour camps in the Second World War 
The British are for ever attacked for 
Imperialism and Colonialism 
because they are seen as 
rich 
and 
a soft touch for compensation 
nobody is getting any compo from  
The Nazis 
and they won't get far with the Germans either 
in fact... 
UK payments to Europe could be seen as a German plot to 
get The British to pay Germany's compensation debt to 
Central and Eastern Europe  
however, they rank with two other groups 
The British constructively dismissed 
Religious Dissenters 
from England by allowing them religious freedom in America 
The British settled Australia by sending convicts there 
and how shall we say 
from a non-conventional standpoint 
certain Black tribes of Africa 
did pretty much the same thing by selling members of 
other Black Tribes of Africa 
to Slave Traders 
it can be said that Black people ended up in  
America and The West Indies 
as a result of 
Ethnic Cleansing 
of certain Black African Tribes 
by other Black African Tribes 
and that 
White Men did not penetrate the  
Heart of Africa  
The Interior 
before  
The Coming of the Railways 
simple test 
anybody enslaved in Africa before the railways 
was first captured by Black Africans 
  
we like to tap into our Ricker's memories of things past. 
things 19th century 
those little sayings and such that time has forgot 
at this time 
February 
from the Latin 
a month named for the Roman 
Festival of Purification 
the old English name was 
February Filldyke 
February is the month when traditionally 
water from snow melt in the mountains 
flushes all of winter's debris from all the 
local lowland water courses 
all this flooding is 
Nature's Spring Cleaning 
Chuck out the Chintz 
Latin Februarius, from Februa 
  
 
there is some value in the saying 
you can't make an omelette 
without breaking eggs 
the trouble with these sorts of things is when they are 
over-extended 
here we are trying to say 
you can't have a healthy economy 
without 
creating pollution 
and we see all along the way 
safe waste disposal 
and not 
integrated waste elimination 
for example 
keep petrol and diesel but 
add on catalytic converters 
it hasn't 'worked' 
carbon capture and storage is 
cat converter level of 
sticking plaster 
as for the process industries in Redcar 
when you burn a carbon compound 
you get other carbon compounds as waste 
when you transform some carbon compounds into  
different , more useful, carbon compounds 
if you are being efficient 
your high conversion rates 
mean 
you are not creating carbon containing waste 
Carbon Capture and Storage 
could represent the  
pitfall of being an  
early adopter 
you get lunbered with a huge mechanism for  
producing catalytic converters  
when 
the market wants 
hydrogen fuel cell stacks 
every time somebody in government 
or politics 
says 
we've consulted with The Industry 
we think 
Emperor's New Clothes 
people in government have zero capacity to 
evaluate advice on technical matters 
and they think people with a lot of money are 
either very clever or 
Beloved of God 
whenever some organisation  
say 
a village fete committee 
are looking for officers 
they will chose the resident with 
the biggest car or the biggest house 
as the treasurer 
on the basis that  
1 all the money the organisation will ever hold 
would be petty cash to such a person 
and so they wouldn't trouble to steal it 
2 if they do get into financial bother 
like the old time football club owners 
they could reach into their pocket 
like Mike Ashley 
and bail the club out from  
a day's spending cash 
we really want to put this down as Ricker has remembered it 
Back in the day 
an entertainer called 
Tommy Trinder 
owned 
Fuham Football Club 
if Ant McPartland 
of Ant and Dec fame 
put half 
of his kiss off for his former wife 
into Newcastle United 
they'd have a team with a number 9 
never mind re-naming 
Shearer's bar the  
Number Nine Bar 
they should retire the number 9 shirt 
until they can spare the cash for somebody to 
wear it 
  
politicians - particularly in the run up to an election 
are very busy people and they may not take much time to figure out  
where people who are lobbying them 
are coming from 
say, you are a person with some influence 
and you are approached by two people 
one says 
I'm not sure about my kid's future 
should I encourage them be be 
a dentist 
or 
a barrister - court advocate 
? 
and the other person comes to you and says 
I'm very worried about my kid's health 
she needs: a wonder drug, an expensive operation, psychotherapy 
they are coming at you from different angles 
one wants advice 
the other wants 
help 
the trick of the professional lobbyist is to disguise 
a plea for help 
as  
an offer of advice 
essentially advice on how to be 
popular 
do what I want and EVERYBODY will love you 
 
  
Here's a bit of social history in the making 
we start from having three quarters of our children 
overweight 
then we have minimum unit price for alcohol 
and we have 
a sugar tax 
and then we say 
people on Universal Credit should 
get their  
almost pure sugar 
foods 
free from Food Banks 
if minimum unit pricing for alcohol comes in in England 
taking the next strand 
shooting galleries - safe places for street drug consumption 
will Food Banks 
The Trussle Trust 
be applying for 
alcohol licences 
so that they can distribute alcohol free to 
people on Universal Credit 
? 
is the idea that 
people from the underclass should be so fat that 
decent middle class people of all ages 
can out run them and avoid being knifed? 
  
we like to tap into our Ricker's memories of things past. 
things 19th century 
those little sayings and such that time has forgot 
at this time 
February 
from the Latin 
a month named for the Roman 
Festival of Purification 
the old English name was 
February Filldyke 
February is the month when traditionally 
water from snow melt in the mountains 
flushes all of winter's debris from all the 
local lowland water courses 
all this flooding is 
Nature's Spring Cleaning 
Chuck out the Chintz 
Latin Februarius, from Februa 
  
 
there is some value in the saying 
you can't make an omelette 
without breaking eggs 
the trouble with these sorts of things is when they are 
over-extended 
here we are trying to say 
you can't have a healthy economy 
without 
creating pollution 
and we see all along the way 
safe waste disposal 
and not 
integrated waste elimination 
for example 
keep petrol and diesel but 
add on catalytic converters 
it hasn't 'worked' 
carbon capture and storage is 
cat converter level of 
sticking plaster 
as for the process industries in Redcar 
when you burn a carbon compound 
you get other carbon compounds as waste 
when you transform some carbon compounds into  
different , more useful, carbon compounds 
if you are being efficient 
your high conversion rates 
mean 
you are not creating carbon containing waste 
as for the process industries in Redcar 
Carbon Capture and Storage 
could represent the  
pitfall of being an  
early adopter 
you get lunbered with a huge mechanism for  
producing catalytic converters  
when 
the market wants 
hydrogen fuel cell stacks 
every time somebody in government 
or politics 
says 
we've consulted with The Industry 
we think 
Emperor's New Clothes 
people in government have zero capacity to 
evaluate advice on technical matters 
and they think people with a lot of money are 
either very clever or 
Beloved of God 
whenever some organisation  
say 
a village fete committee 
are looking for officers 
they will chose the resident with 
the biggest car or the biggest house 
as the treasurer 
on the basis that  
1 all the money the organisation will ever hold 
would be petty cash to such a person 
and so they wouldn't trouble to steal it 
2 if they do get into financial bother 
like the old time football club owners 
they could reach into their pocket 
like Mike Ashley 
and bail the club out from  
a day's spending cash 
we really want to put this down as Ricker has remembered it 
Back in the day 
an entertainer called 
Tommy Trinder 
owned 
Fuham Football Club 
if Ant McPartland 
of Ant and Dec fame 
put half 
of his kiss off for his former wife 
into Newcastle United 
they'd have a team with a number 9 
never mind re-naming 
Shearer's bar the  
Number Nine Bar 
they should retire the number 9 shirt 
until they can spare the cash for somebody to 
wear it 
  
politicians - particularly in the run up to an election 
are very busy people and they may not take much time to figure out  
where people who are lobbying them 
are coming from 
say, you are a person with some influence 
and you are approached by two people 
one says 
I'm not sure about my kid's future 
should I encourage them be be 
a dentist 
or 
a barrister - court advocate 
? 
and the other person comes to you and says 
I'm very worried about my kid's health 
she needs: a wonder drug, an expensive operation, psychotherapy 
they are coming at you from different angles 
one wants advice 
the other wants 
help 
the trick of the professional lobbyist is to disguise 
a plea for help 
as  
an offer of advice 
essentially advice on how to be 
popular 
do what I want and EVERYBODY will love you 
 
  
 
  
We do say over and over that The Labour 
are very very niche, parochial, local to 
North London 
and so the following will probably not bother them at all 
 so long as they continue to 
Weaponise the UK National Health Service 
by constant references to the NHS failure 
they seem to be saying that they introduced it but 
The Tories have completely messed it up 
they never actually say that because they 
never criticise the structure or management of the NHS 
they simply say 
we - The Labour - will spend enough on it to get it 
working properly 
the self absorbed failing here is that 
they are sending  message to other countries that 
either 
a healthcare system in their country that mirrors the UK NHS 
is 
utterly unaffordable 
or 
fundamentally will not work 
and so other countries don't have their own version of the NHS 
and possibly if The UK Labour Party were 
more constructive about the UK NHS 
it could become a pattern for world governments  
in this very important aspect of governance  
 
  
we had the opportunity to see the 
body language at a TV interview with 
Ms Allred and one of her clients 
we are not sure that Ms Alllred has the same motivation 
with all her cases 
the question of the airliner fuel dump 
seemed to be all about the money 
the movie mogul case seems to be more about power 
we do note that it is a view amongst 
wimin 
that they want to break down the idea that a role is 
men only 
they then want equal representation 
then they want all men demoted to the rank below 
the presiding women 
women instead of men 
not  
women and men together in equality and harmony 
and this pre-supposes that the decisions that 
powerful men make  
are 
arbitrary 
and based on pure power 
and in no way on 
knowledge, expertise and experiences 
meaning that wimin need nothing but arbitrary power 
in order to replace powerful men 
in that sense there are trends towards routinely 
giving women better paper qualifications  
and giving men 
criminal records 
rather like deducting 75 points from Saracens 
to ensure that they are relegated 
rather than matching the deduction to the  
infringement 
returning to movie mogul case 
when we observe the demeanour of the client 
we are driven to the conclusion that 
in the mind of the plaintiff - the complainer 
the concept of sexual assault 
has replaced in their minds the concept of 
a breach of contract suit 
a woman who plots out in her mind 
how a relationship will develop 
and when it deviates or ends 
taking the man to court is seen as having two 
possible consequences 
1 prolonging the association 
2 some sort of  
shot gun wedding 
in the bad old days... 
a single man was able to end proceedings against him by 
marrying the plaintiff 
because a wife could not testify against her husband 
it was to give a deserted girlfriend this option 
that this rule existed 
how shall we say 
uneducated, not clued up, feminists 
agitated to have this weapon taken away from women 
and really, a single woman 
getting entangled with a man 
in no position to marry her was not going to 
get support from the courts  
 
  
The average life expectancy of 
females in 
Redcar and Cleveland 
in the most recent decade for which there are figures 
fell by one month 
there are three important things to say 
this does not apply to males 
who have seen life expectancy increase 
Redcar and Cleveland includes 
Greater Eston 
and that includes 
South Bank and Grangetown 
there are a couple of health issues 
one for female and one for male 
since the 1970s and HASAWA 
Health and Safety at Work Act 
direct industrial disease  
which has historically affected men more than women 
has been in decline 
and is the main driver of male life expectancy extension 
on the female side 
as we say that the numbers are in the 
range of the early 80s 
the bulk of deaths in the current data are  
deaths of women who were born in the 
late 1930s and early 1940s 
we can say that both World Wars drove  
female emancipation 
when our Ricker were a lad 
many things impinged on his mind in a superficial way 
he knew about 
tennis 
and he had heard of  
Billy Jean Moffat 
later Billy Jean King 
and British and Australian female tennis players 
and so in his mind for whatever reason 
when he heard about 
a tournament in the USA being referred to as the 
Virginia Slims 
tournament 
he assume that 
Virginia Slims 
was a revered retired female tennis player  
who had had a tournament 
named in her honour 
in reality 
Virginia Slims were the first cigarettes 
marketed directly at 
women 
smaller, more dainty fags 
sometimes the talismans of  
emancipation 
involve  
buying the things that  
harm men 
and so it is traditional to say that 
improvements in health for women have been 
offset during the  
second half of the 20th century 
by women taking up men's bad habits 
women came late to tobacco 
and the negative effects have not yet fully  
run through populations 
minimum prices for alcohol and 
punative taxes on tobacco are new ideas and 
have not yet shown their worth 
24th February 2020   
we need to make a small but important point about 
mesh implants 
essentially you would not 
sew together a garment without 
providing the edges with 
hems 
it is almost certain that it is the practice of 
cutting the mesh to size with scissors 
that leaves sharp edges that cause  
irritation 
there are many tough but soft fabrics 
but there should be some sort of 
thermoforming to adjust the size of the implant 
the surgeon should decide on the size and shape of the implant 
using a template 
and then feed the template into a mechanism 
to have a bespoke implant with smooth edges  
manufactured for immediate use 
otherwise 
the material used should be the same as is used in 
stitches that dissolve over time and do not need to be 
removed  
  
Some people succeed in turning some small issue into 
a life's work 
this latest virus outbreak could have been 
the culminating event 
for the people who are the 
sub section of the 
it's all about genetics 
brigade 
whom we could describe as the 
it's all about mutations, brigade 
we imagine that there are teams of scientists 
around the world 
who have been - rather as astronomers awaiting 
an eclipse or meteor strike 
awaiting a  
novel virus 
so that they could track 
how it mutated 
and this virus has remained 
stable 
perhaps you remember 
a former Prime Minster of the UK 
Theresa May 
being asked what was the naughtiest think she had 
ever done 
and she said it was running through a corn field 
without permission 
our Ricker has a related confession 
when he was a teenager 
they were still growing corn - wheat 
on the land that is now the south side of 
West Dyke Road 
and at the junction of West Dyke Road 
and 
Kirkleatham Lane 
Ricker stole 
six half grown wheat plants - without permission 
and he took them to school and 
fitted them into rubber bungs in the tops of 
old glass milk bottles 
and set up the roots in water in the bottles 
and each bottle had water in it that was 
deficient in a major nutrient 
and so a whole lot of kids attending biology class 
watched them grow 
interesting 
of course the one with no deficiency in the 
hydroponic water 
outgrew the others 
however, Ricker did not do the other experiment 
he did not buy from the traditional school outfitters 
heat seeds that had been 
irradiated 
subjected to nuclear radiation to induce 
mutations 
many schools may have bought them and done this experiment too 
in the pictures, in the catalogue 
the resultant plants looked a lot like the  
nutrient deprived examples in Ricker's experiment 
the radiantion had not 
turned wheat into 
beetroot 
it had turned wheat into wheat that didn't grow very well 
not so much mutated  
as 
not all there 
because some of the embryo's cells had been 
killed rather than changed 
and since Ricker didn't do this experiment 
just saw the advertising photos 
he can't say whether the plants in the photos 
grew normally but more slowly 
and certainly can't say whether they could be  
bred from 
we understand that there is a well established tradition 
in North East England 
of providing free holidays to children who's 
parents or grandparents 
were living in  
Pripiat - Chernobyl 
at the time the nuclear reactor exploded 
they do not come for specialist medical attention 
and we do not wish to delve into the medical records of 
the populations of 
Hiroshima and Nagasaki 
but we are not aware of 
novel animal life near Chernobyl or 
strange diseases in Japan 
however we are aware of 
Minimata disease also called itae itae 
in Japan as a result of water in the country being 
contaminated with heavy metals from 
industrial effluent 
that is the fault of Japan 
if they admit that 
why would they cover up 
mutations due to American bombing?  
and so the mutation lobby retreat to their labs 
huffing about like 
astronomers after a meteor miss 
saying 
the next one will hit 
we , the people who think outside boxes 
don't exist in silos 
think 
more evidence of how slowly, if ever 
biota evolves 
because, because mutations are 
random 
and as such 
very very very difficult to survive 
think of it as 
not - old style technology reference here 
not swapping a single carb set up for 
tripple twin choke Webbers 
and hoping to get more power 
more 
waiting for the chassis to rust some more 
and hoping that the  
weight reduction will 
improve the  
power to weight ratio 
mutations are not 
design refinements 
they are damage 
that is why there are in  
successful species 
mechanisms to prevent them 
PREVENT THEM 
 not PROMOTE them 
and certainly not  
direct them 
there are mechanisms for the promotion of 
change 
but these are complex and are invoked in 
times of stress 
and a moment of 
romping through a host population 
is not a moment of stress 
mutations are invoked as a  
last desperate punt to create a new generation 
weird enough to survived a catastrophe 
what is actually happening is that 
our planet used to be really quite big 
but travel has become easier and  
pockets of isolated population have had  
relationships with local wildlife and their 
passengers 
and then suddenly 
somebody decides that 
travelling around the world and eating 
weird stuff 
will make a great TV show 
and something that most people have no immunity to 
is spread around the world 
in ethnic markets and trendy restaurants 
and to be brutal 
we may refer to the 
Tiny Tim paradigm 
poor family, lots of kids, survival of the fittest 
Tiny Tim dies in infancy 
rich uncle Scrooge bungs poor family 
a wedge of child benefit 
Ting Tim lives 
but remains severely handicapped 
the sick, and particularly the 
essentially defective 
no longer slip quietly from the edges of society 
they linger in a blaze of publicity 
we should just add a note on  
how the mutation theory 'experts' 
have responded to the fact that 
our Ricker was correct to say 
you will find that there is no 
difference between the genome of 
healthy cells and tumour cells in individuals 
they are now saying 
this is the new mantra 
the mutation occurred long before 
the changes that represent the disease 
sometimes bio-medical scientists have a big problem 
working out what planet the rest of humanity 
are on 
the non medic thinks 
Ricker is recalling an exchange with 
geologist Mark Jordan 
the non medic thinks that 
people would live for ever if 
they never had an accident 
or encountered an infection 
suggesting that 
no mouse - no matter how pampered - has ever lived 
more than ten years 
because  
different species are built with an expiry date 
is shocking to the non-medic 
people are built to reproduce 
not to live for ever 
there is a theory 
often a 'scientific' theory can go unchallenged 
untested because it seems like a waste of time to  
duplicate the study 
there is a theory that 
the lifespan of species is defined  
not in days or seconds 
but in  
heartbeats 
the idea is that from birth - on average 
excluding accident and illness 
preventable shortenings 
the natural lifespan of any species is 
the same - on average - number of 
heart beats 
and so  
a shrew lives at a hectic pace 
with a naturally roaring racing heart rate 
and an elephant or a Blue Whale has this  
incredibly slow heart rate 
and lives for a lot longer in terms of 
solar time 
and  
people are the exception and  
live for around four times as many heart beats as 
any other species 
so - by this theory - we a built to 
reproduce and die by our twenties 
but live on into our 80s 
and only to species 
humans and some sort of whale or dolphin 
are the only ones to have 
the menopause 
to have a life beyond reproduction 
despite the matriarchal 
granny in charge social structures of 
the likes of  
merecats 
to stay alive they have to have to potential to 
breed 
   
in the short term we may decide to use 
quarantine 
to do a Cnute type  
hold back the tide  
effort to  
keep infections local 
but world trade and tourism is a 
fairly unstoppable phenomenon 
the question is 
are the deaths of a few hundred old folk 
a price worth paying for  
globalisation 
or is that beside the point 
are you using the inevitable demise of 
a bunch of oldsters and a sprinkling of  
younger otherwise defective people 
a fact of life to be used as a weapon against 
globalisation 
? 
clearly the latest exercise has had the effect of 
suppressing communal gatherings 
however, it has come at the cost of 
damaging global trade 
The Chinese authorities may have thought they could 
continue to sell to the world 
whilst locking down civil society 
what happens next? 
we have to expect that at some point 
the emergency will have to be declared  
over 
we have seen before 
repressive regimes who think that if they 
lock down a society for  while 
the people will 
get out of the habit of 
holding mass street demonstrations 
and everything will calm down 
that will only really happen if the opportunity to 
correct governmental errors is grasped 
on the other hand 
it is hard to see how a government could be more 
generous than the French government 
and yet 
the French have failed to 
get a life 
and will just keep on with their 
What have the Romans ever done for us? 
mentality 
this is otherwise referred to as 
First World Problems 
there is this  
Gulliver's Travels 
concept of 
Big-endians against Little-endians 
a nation engulfed in civil war over 
which end of a boiled egg to open 
Sheer versus Sunni in Islam 
and the somewhat similar but different 
how will you vote 
I'm agin the government 
whoever is in control 
we want them out 
so the Chinese authorities may be 
in the phrase 
hoist by their own petard 
blown up by their own hand grenade 
create the perception of a global health emergency 
to suppress the Hong Kong riots 
and destroy your export trade in the process 
because 
the Chinese authorities can't stop 
The West 
switching to 
Thailand 
or wherever 
They may think they have a claim over  
Taiwan 
but not Japan or Thailand 
and as an example 
the camera maker 
Nikon 
designs the most prestigious mass amrket cameras 
but they have the slightly cheaper ones 
Made in China 
and the more up market ones 
Made in Thailand 
The Chinese authorities 
and the French Authorities 
need to find a better way to 
convince their people to 
get a life 
get with the programme 
 
  
We remember the story of the man whose girlfriend 
had an identical twin 
and one day the twin is visiting and decides to  
do the washing up 
her sister's boyfrend comes across her  
perhaps having just returned home and 
approaching her from behind and mistaking her for his girlfriend 
does what he would normally do 
to his girlfriend 
and so we move on to the line between 
they all look the same to me 
and 
every man should be able to identify and name 
every woman who has ever touched his life 
however, we want to develop this matter of 
identification and the BBC 
we assume that this will have been pointed out 
on social media but an expert being interviewed on the BBC 
recently 
was captioned as being from  
The CASS Business School 
we have given up on railing about the BBC 
referring to NATO as Nato and on and on 
this is the reverse 
The Cass Business School 
is 
The Sir John Cass Business School 
whilst on this topic... 
the matter of job losses in 
The City - of London 
all that red braces and Porsche motors 
people these days 
commute to jobs in The City  
the entire 
Cannery Wharf 
at least the Americans have the decency 
not to spell that after the little yellow bird 
The whole Cannery Wharf development 
and the earlier 
Barbican housing development on City Road 
were designed 
not to earn vast quantities of foreign exchange 
but to take from the dole  
the sons of the dockers 
made redundant from the docks of 
The now non-existent 
Pool of London 
when it was too narrow, too small  
and large modern ship could only get up river  
as far as Tilbury - even before   
the Thames Barrier or Barrage 
like the one on the Tees  
by the John Lloyd sports centre in Stockton 
second best? white water canoe slalom course in 
the UK the other one only being better because it's 
Nearer to London 
to 
gentrify 
the area 
fifty years ago 
Central London was knackered 
when at Durham University  
Ricker took a car full of students to 
Newcastle to visit the 
Hancock Museum 
and Richardson 
a lad from London 
asked 
where are all the  
bomb sites 
London ain't all built up like this 
anybody who has seen 
Grainger Town in Newcastle 
would have to admit it is rather spectacular 
whether it is actually 
Portland Stone 
or a local equivalent is a mere detail 
and so 
in the natural scheme of things 
the government having overseen the  
re-birth of London 
honestly is 
looking for a new project 
Grainger Town is not it  
 
  
Sometimes we get a 
blast from the past 
that makes the present 
make more sense 
we are not the only people exercised about 
poor take up of vaccinations 
Ricker remembers that his dad had 
four or five neatly spaced scars about the size of 
 a very small coin 
 on one of his upper arms 
these were the result of 
Army Service 
to Ricker that indicates that 
at some point around a hundred years ago 
the army had been experimenting with 
vaccinations and that they had been giving 
sub-dermal 
as opposed to the modern 
intra-muscular 
vaccinations 
all of that said this is just background to the 
current point 
Military Service and vaccinations 
we, the media, blame a particular doctor and his theories about  
autism 
when Tommy was at war 
many of the cannon fodder 
were diagnosed with 
shell shock 
seems appropriate 
perhaps it was medical black humour 
any road up 
we take all these things together and we come to an  
interesting theory about 
why anti-vac has been given such a run for it's money 
over the years 
When troops returned from the 
First Gulf War 
their  
Shell Shock 
was termed 
Gulf War Syndrome 
and to distract from the idea that it was 
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder 
the idea was put around that they were suffereing from  
side effects of the vaccinations they had been given 
at embarkation for the Middle East 
 
  
our Ricker is very old 
and remembers things from the past 
a couple of memories from very early 
Ricker's dad was very old when Ricker knew him 
one day Ricker's parents decided he should ahve a pet 
so they saw an advert for a rabbit 
and they went to a council estate in Middlesbrough 
to buy this rabbit 
she looked OK a sort of  
dutch fur pattern but she was 
stroppy 
later there were other rabbits 
male and female 
Ricker cannot remember ever asking anybody to 
buy him a pet 
when he bought pets of his own they were 
tropical fish 
to speak of this first rabbit 
she was stroppy with Ricker 
he had the wounds to show for it 
mostly from the claws not the teeth 
one day Ricker had a memory etched into his memory 
a rabbit memory 
his original rabbit running around the greenhouse with 
a baby hanging half way out of her bottom 
she was 
NOT GOING TO BE A MUM 
Ricker has a dread of having kids and then when they are 
five 
them going to school 
and him being arrested for having told them things 
he shouldn't have told them 
kids blab 
Ricker had things available that are not available 
to the modern child 
and so for a while he kept the babies in a bottle 
pickled, so to speak 
these days Ricker is amazed to see how 
friendly pets seem to be 
his experience of pets was that only the dog 
showed the least sign of affection 
and so the question is 
did Ricker have 
a lesbian rabbit? 
she was a bit smaller that the other female rabbits 
but she never wanted anything to do with them 
are we bundling two separate things together? 
are 
I don't want to be female 
and 
I want a girlfriend 
the same thing? 
it is a long time since we wrote about 
intersex 
we have written about how to end up with a gay boy 
what we have not discussed recently is 
if baby is born with six fingers 
it will be whisked off to have the extras snipped off 
before mum gets a sight 
more centrally if the gender is not clear 
from the outset the mantra would be 
make IT into a little girl 
by removing any less than convincing 
boy bits 
this is where language is a barrier to understanding 
a person may be told 
you were operated on soon after birth because 
you had not fully developed 
they may conclude that this means they were born 
early, pre-mature 
but those words may cover a situation where  
despite being full term 
their bits were unconvincing 
and were removed so that they would fit in well 
well enough 
as girls 
or 'girls' 
and until relatively recent times 
that would be that 
no counselling 
no hormone therapy 
just, well 
no sexting 
another reason to 
never photograph children 
possibly the only reason for never photographing children 
what the eye don't see 
normality 
the heart don't grieve 
if you've never seen normal 
you won't know you are 
abnormal 
the other memory that comes to his mind at present is 
back when Ricker was a child there were no houses on 
Mersey Road 
but they were coming 
the memory is of bare earth by the side of the road 
Ricker's friend Edward was with him 
they came across a 
dead raw golly 
a raw golly was any sort of tiny baby bird  
that had not grown any feathers yet 
Richer was fascinated 
Edward was fearful 
Don't touch it 
the memory is significant because 
Edward was Edward Dahouski 
probably spelt wrongly 
but later 
Ela Teralak 
told Ricker that Dahowski was a  
good Polish name 
and he went on to do two things 
he became an RAF officer cadet 
medical student at Newcastle Medical School 
where Ricker was a dental 
and Edward killed himself by 
wrapping the Austin Healy the RAF paid for 
around a lamp post 
despite his father's service to the nation 
was it wise to send a boy  
too squeamish to poke an dead blackbird chick with a stick 
to medical school? 
people are supposed to be able to answer when asked 
where were you when you heard about nine eleven? 
Ricker remembers exactly where he was when he heard 
Edward's dead 
Someone had come to the door and told Ricker's mum and 
Ricker was in the garage with the door shut 
'playing' with his Bunsen burner and his chemicals 
and none of those pretty girls ever got to be 
a dentist's wife 
 not Ricker the Dentist's wife, anyway 
here's something with which to amuse your friends 
why there is there no word for 
a baby rabbit 
like cub or chick or puppy? 
it's because  
a rabbit is a baby  
cony or coney 
hare - leveret 
coney - rabbit 
connection to Coney Island? 
no idea 
we think of rabbits as all so cute that we refer to them all 
whatever their age 
by their baby name 
we are the sort of people who try to stick to 
constructive criticism 
in other words if we don't care whether you 
improve or not 
we will 
let you hang as you grow 
we think that refers to 
pleaching fruit trees 
or not bothering 
pruning for shape 
so we do take time to consider 
UK law enforcement and the BBC 
you see our Ricker remembers the days of 
TOGS and the DG 
we can't remember what TOGS stood for 
but it had a lot to do with 
Terry Wogan 
or Woebegone 
and the DG was  
The Director General of the BBC 
heaven forefend that what the BBC needs is 
a revival of Irish influence... 
Two generations of the  
still alive 
will remember two BBC children's TV presenters 
we should say 
ITV always gives up too easily 
at one time - a very long time ago 
apart from Crackerjack 
children's Tv was 
BBC Blue Peter 
ITV Magpie was that B A Robertson? 
and so 
Blue Peter - Valerie Singleton 
and 
The Ellis lass - Janet? 
and neither of them were married 
and we are way off piest here 
Wasn't it 
Sophie Ellis Bexter 
Janet Ellis's daughter?? 
anyway 
our most significant Blue Peter quote was 
Valerie Singleton 
I've never had a husband of my own 
but I've had loads of other people's 
how the hell did we get from that to 
hash tag metoo? 
and the traditional wisdom is that 
every 'generation' rebels against the previous one 
and so what will the generation that rebels against 
metoo 
do? 
at a more serious level 
we see a wave of 'progress' spread across the world 
we see people trying to be stay at home missionaries 
setting up foodbanks in the prosperous UK 
where were they in the days of 
Cathy Come Home 
when there was real hardship in the UK? 
what happens is 
whatever the personal peccadilloes of the staff 
raising money for 
Oxfam - the Oxford Campaign against Famine 
is a whole lot easier than 
introducing 
contraceptive and obstetric care to deprived communities 
and so in the 1960s in the UK 
child mortality plummets 
women no longer have to have a dozen pregnancies in order for 
two of their offspring to out live them 
and there is a baby boom gap between 
a sharp drop in child mortality 
and 
universal contraception for mothers 
we won't try to research the precise context and quote but 
a Cardinal or Pope 
asked about what he thought of a historic change 
a century earlier 
said 
it's too early to tell 
  The Roman Catholic Church still opposes  
contraception 
because it thinks that the benefits of 
modern medicine 
may be a flash in the pan 
over geological time 
and so to the current context where 
despite many clergy we have 
same sex marriage and opposite sex civil pertnerships 
and trans sexual women 
being female is essentially safer than being male 
and so we start out with more women than men 
and then 
every trans sexual woman is one less available husband 
every male to male single sex marriage or civil partnership 
is two less available husbands 
three things in  
having it all 
career, kids, husband 
in broad terms women share the first two 
there career is in some sort of team 
their kids go to school and grow up 
how long before people start to see the positive side of 
sister wives 
? 
share the good straight blokes around a bit 
get yourself a dose of the  
most impressive bloke you can get your hands 
all five of them? 
on 
referencing ads for dog chews relating to how a dog's mouth 
is it's hand 
and not some gay guy or absolute wretch - misogynist - that 
nobody else wants 
there's a choice here  
between 
fighting to keep some monster away from your kids 
and 
competing for your kids to have some time with their dad 
despite him having so many more... 
17th February 2020   
Perhaps we will begin with one of our 
grammar-punctuation diversions 
any sensible hairdresser may well put a notice in her window saying 
walk in Ladies cuts available 
some may say 
that should be  
Walk-in Ladies' cuts available. 
however 
others may say 
Walk-in Lady's cuts available 
you see 
Ladies' Cuts 
suggests 
you need to buddy up and be accommodated 
in batches 
it's a double plural  
On 12th February 2020 
Redcar's new Tory MP stood up in Parliament 
and read out a question to the Prime Minister 
that had been written for him 
we want him to succeed 
we don't want him to perpetuate myths about Redcar 
This month a chap was found dead in bed in a house converted to  
bedsits in Coatham Road 
at least 8 police vans were used to block major roads in the town 
on the off chance that there were 
suspicious circumstances 
there were none 
it's rather like all those scientists 
who train in something obscure 
because there is no competition for places and funding 
and universities like to boast 
 a full set 
and then when they get a doctorate or professorship 
try to convince the world that their specialism can be 
applied to 
cancer research 
wooden tops 
for 
cops 
and then 
the police become 
an army of occupation 
in their own land 
perhaps we should reference 
Caroline Flack 
at this point 
there is this point about - movie reference - precogs 
but more generally the idea of 
nipping things in the bud 
conflicts with the idea that 
just because acorns can grow into oak trees 
doesn't mean we should 
not plant beans 
where we don't want oak trees to grow 
never mind Tasers 
ditch the 
hair trigger 
and don't use the real world for 
training exercises 
or every crank call as an excuse to stage one anywhere 
if the police had more than 1,000  
significant cases a year 
they would probably want to learn about 
triage 
from the ambulance service 
and just for scale and context... 
in the UK 
and to address the idea that 
witness intimidation could 
damage conviction rates... 
perhaps we should use the cases of 
Caroline Flack 
and her boyfriend 
and the Prime Minister and his girlfriend 
clearly the latter is a case where to supposed victim 
has not  
changed her mind 
but the credibility and motivation of a third party witness 
is what is at stake 
so we take Janice Webster and her assistant Tanya Nelson 
and we accept that Mrs Webster was under present arrangements 
entirely entitled to have  
anybody arrested for contacting her assistant 
if she did not approve of the contact 
the law used to state that 
a wife could not give evidence 
against her husband 
now it seems that a person may not give evidence 
in support of their friend or partner 
to give a little context 
population around 60 million 
between a half and three quarters of a million people 
die each year 
and of those 
around 
200 women are unlawfully killed 
and around 400 men 
1 you can't lock down a town 
especially one the size of Redcar 
every time somebody dies 
2 for those who like targets... 
consider three statistics 
the number of murders solved 
the number of murders prevented by law enforcement 
the number of suicides caused by law enforcement 
 
  
Recently there was a 
current affairs short 
about Redcar 
broadcast on the BBC 
the voiceover stated that 
Redcar is a town that was built to house steelworkers  
and their families 
we mostly doubt that there is any point in correcting such reports 
but hey ho 
Redcar has had several  
'works' 
that could be described as steel works 
in the looser sense of including 
ironworks, steelworks, and rolling mills under the heading 
South Bank - part of Greater Eston, a part of  
Redcar and Cleveland had a steel works and that has 
coke ovens and a BOS plant 
closed for the past five years 
a BOS plant is a Basic Oxygen Steelmaker 
Lackenby has rolling mills - operational to this day 
and a concast idle for the past five years 
a concast is a continuous casting plant 
it turned out red hot steel like toothpaste from a tube 
Redcar has an ironworks - which fed the BOS plant 
in South Bank with molten iron for conversion into 
steel 
The people who worked at South Bank 
lived in Eston 
it used to be a stand alone local authority 
but is now a part of 
Redcar and Cleveland 
Eston Urban District Council 
no longer exists 
we have never figured out who 
Long was 
but  
Sir Arthur Dorman's company was called 
Dorman Long 
and they made the steel for 
The Tyne Bridge and the Sydney Harbour Bridge 
they took their iron from South Bank iron works 
they built 
The BOS plant and Lackenby Rolling Mills 
and to house the people who worked at Dorman's 
they built 
Dormanstown 
They did not build Redcar 
Dormanstown is a ward within Redcar and Cleveland 
it used to have 3 councillors 
due to depopulation 
it now has two councillors 
2,000 workers at the Redcar combine of 'steelworks' 
Population of Redcar and Cleveland 130,000 
just sayin' 
and 
just for the record 
Titus Salt built workers housing for his factory 
but Dormans were the first people in the world 
well in the UK at least  
to build 'works' retirement bungalows for 
their pensioners 
They are in use to this day 
in the 1970s 
British Steel 
demolished South Bank iron works - all but the coke ovens 
and built 
Redcar iron works to supply molten iron to 
Lackenby BOS Plant, Concast and Rolling Mills 
The Lackenby Concast was built at the same time as Redcar iron works 
and Lackenby Mills were converted from 
Coal to natural gas 
for the re-heat furnaces 
Redcar is an integrated steelworks 
if it all worked together as built 
and didn't import steel from Scunthorpe 
integrated means in this case 
vertically integrated and means 
it can turn out beams 
and if the gear was put back in the shed 
strip steel 
without re-heat 
the material never going cold from 
blast furnace to rolling mill 
  
and the thing that got skipped over in the 
vox pop 
the old woman telling it like it was 
she said 
approximately 
in them days you left school and you went to 
ICI or British Steel 
and you had a job for life 
ICI was Imperial Chemical Industries 
and be sure 
you didn't have to work at Dormans 
to live in Dormastown 
you were just as likely to work at ICI 
and that's now called 
Wilton International Process Park 
and Louise who used to live next door to out Ricker 
went straight from school well after a secretarial course 
probably at Cleveland Tech 
to work in the 
Wilton Hilton 
that was not a hotel and nothing to do with Hilton 
but was what they called the 
ICI Wilton admin offices 
so the old woman in the clip 
put ICI before British Steel 
as a lot of people would 
but the media never  
make a peep 
about the demise of ICI 
and the Huntsman takeover and the Ineos takeover 
and just to say how long ago Louise's first day at work was 
that day she was asked to  
send a fax 
these days that would only happen in the NHS 
  
this is where our  
living history resources falls down 
we know that there is now 
Redcar and Cleveland Community Heart 
and that it is built on the site of the former 
Sir William Turner's Coatham Grammar School 
but we can't recall where  
Redcar Council offices were 'originally' 
The library was where the doctors now is and 
the fire station was nearby 
can't quite picture the council offices 
what we do know is that Redcar came under 
North Riding of Yorkshire County Council 
and when it was taken out of that 
it was a district of Cleveland County 
and we don't recall whether it was in or outside of 
Teesside 
what we do know is that 
under Cleveland County 
there were 
Hartlepool, Stockton-on-Tees, Middlesbrough, and Langthingy 
and Langthingy District Council had it's offices  
and council chamber 
in the former premises of 
Eston Urban District Council 
and when Langthing became a 
Unitary Authority - A County Borough 
it had it's name changes to 
Redcar and Cleveland 
and moved it's administration to Redcar 
and the old Eston Town Hall has been demolished 
and so really it would be about fair to say that 
Eston was built to house the steelworkers 
and they had South Bank, Grangetown, Eston, Normanby, ormesby 
Greater Eston was a whole lot bigger than 
Dormanstown 
and Dormanstown is on the Wilton side of the Trunk Road 
There are a lot of people who would like to put 
Greater Eston into Middlesbrough 
but the problem is 
Redcar was put into Greater Eston 
but Greater Eston did not have space to grow 
hemmed in by 
Middlesbrough, the works - British Steel and ICI 
and  
The Eston Hills 
and so Redcar out grew Eston and the balance of power shifted 
and in parliamentary terms 
Mr Proudfoot was the Tory MP for  
Cleveland and Whitby and we think that it was in the days of 
Mo Mowlam that bits of Langthingy 
now called Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland 
swapped from East Cleveland to Redcar 
we think that could have been 
Marske-by-the-Sea 
and Jim Tinn as the Labour MP for Eston 
and so 
it's more about boundary changes and  personalities 
the people of Guisborough 
loved the late Ashok Kumar - the MP for  
Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland  
because he was working at 
British Steel, Redcar  
completing a Ph.D. 
at the time he was first elected for The Labour 
so this swap, this small change in the Red Wall 
is not very much about an electorate lending their votes 
but genuine change 
we've written this up before but 
it has no 
cut through 
with journalists 
in the 1970s 
in the vicinity of Eston Recreation Ground 
there were four secondary schools 
St Peter's Roman catholic 
Stapylton 
Sara Metcalf 
Gillbrook 
now St. Peter's is offering to take non-Roman Catholics 
to survive 
Stapylton is housing estate 
and Sara Metcalf has closed 
some locals are very attached but 
we think it and the nearby Eston Town Hall 
will have been demolished by now 
four secondary schools condensed into 
one and a half 
Gillbrook has a new PFI building 
St. Peter's soldiers on 
they call Gillbrook something like Hillview 
the name matters not 
and from the inside Ricker viewed the panic over jobs that 
moving from teaching kids in corridors 
to closing schools caused 
and so we have  
Janet 
graduate biology teacher feeling that 
future security lay in 
social work 
less kids 
more one to one contact 
there were NO classroom assistants in 
Cleveland County 
in the mid 1970s 
so when work dies up you big up the concept of 
deprivation 
but 
The Pill 
contraception 
leading to smaller family size 
goes hand in hand with 
smaller workforce numbers 
there were - are 
two kids per mum 
in contrast to the  
baby boom  
when there could have been 
twelve kids per mum 
the hoards of the  
lumpen proletariat 
never got born 
after the mid 1970s 
the poiliticians 
have not clocked the change in family size 
and they can't compute 
a lass from Stapylton, School Eston 
scoring a Ph.D. at Durham University 
 
 
 
  
 
  
and so the next question is 
who will replace 
Tintin 
as 
 Bond 
and what is it with that BBC sting about 
the lad, his mum, his watch, his dad 
and a sun beam? 
 
  
There is a new concept in healthcare 
that you may not know about 
it has developed quite rapidly over the past 40 years 
it is called 
something along the lines of 
pre-hospital medicine 
anybody aged under 30 has probably known little else 
and so a little historical insight 
or context 
when the UK NHS was founded 
most people who considered themselves to be ill 
took themselves off to their GP or Family Doctor 
most people whom somebody else thought was ill 
were scooped up and driven to the nearest hospital 
by people who were effectively 
Uber drivers with 
uniforms, a stretcher, and a van 
at best their other equipment would amount to 
a First Aid Kit 
containing some bandages to stop or cover up 
bleeding 
there are ambulances like that on the road today 
sent to low priority cases 
per-hospital medicine began with 
para-medics 
it has branched out into 
mobile trauma doctors and air ambulances 
there is a distinction here 
in the old days 
when population densities were lower 
 
we must quote the little amusement in a TV show title 
there is a children's animated series about a vet 
an animal doctor, called 
Dr. Fetch 
and so the series is called 
Fetch the Vet 
as in 
Jones the Post 
Must be Welsh then 
 
back in the day this concept of 
the Hit and Run accident 
grew out of the idea that anybody lucky enough to  
operate a motor vehicle 
had a civic duty to stop at any accident scene 
or if 
flagged down 
and either scoop up the patient or 
drive the the surgery and 
Fetch a doctor 
anybody being flagged down now would be 
expecting a car-jacking 
that sort of General Practice mix of 
Private and Pro Bono (Publico) 
was what we had before the NHS 
The initial response or effect of bringing in the NHS waS 
GPs began to write drug prescriptions 
initially, all prescriptions were free to everybody 
a pill for every ill - and free 
this had a slightly perverse consequence 
'poor people' got powerful, effective 
but often addictive drugs 
and rich people decided all these prescription drugs  
were free 
so they must be rubbish 
so they developed the market in 
alternative medicine 
which must be better  
because you had to pay for it 
out of this  
and because community doctors did not have to do 
what para-medics began to do 
GPs developed a role of 
not so much 
advocate 
fro their patients 
but 
Personal Shopper 
in the healthcare market 
and that is essentially where we are today 
and if the GP refers you to the  
wrong specialist 
in the hospital 
that cannot be corrected by the hospital 
the individual teams within the hospital can 
look over the fence 
but they can't trespass on another specialism's turf 
somehow they have to encourage the patient to  
go back to the GP and 
start the whole process over again 
with a more appropriate referral 
if you have diabetes 
you need to be seen by 
BOTH 
an endocrinologist 
and 
a vascular surgeon 
both of three??? 
AND  
an eye specialist 
hence the  
British Heart Foundation 
saying they fund diabetes research 
 
  
You may have noticed that we appear to have had 
a little down time 
and not much to show for it... 
we have had a little time to think about 
Londoners 
we will step back a bit from that and try to think about 
the differences between men and women 
if you make a slightly different distinction and put 
straight males on one side 
and women and gay men on the other 
males seem to regard themselves as 
integrated 
females seem to regard 
their bodies 
in the way that males regard 
their cars 
there is a tattoo parlour in Redcar that has a  
promotional vehicle - two 
one says 
my other car is a REAL Mini 
the other has a really great slogan that we forget 
but it is an improvement on 
altered girls 
men get tattoos to  
show how brave they are  
or to honour a person or organisation  
very important to them 
women seem to go for  
anything from a new hair do 
to 
cosmetic surgery 
in order to be somebody new 
and that leads us to  
Londoners 
on the one hand they  
whinge constantly about how much more money 
the government should be spending to 
try to make the place fit to live in 
and how government money spent elsewhere is 
completely wasted 
all that Londoners do and say seems calculated to 
convince themselves that they  
made the right decision 
moving there 
let's face it 
anybody who lived there over fifty years ago 
has  
done a Boycie 
bought a chunk of the  
Home Counties 
with the proceeds of 
renting out the 
East End hovel they were born in 
no doubt our ex-chancellor owns 
homes on four continents 
but did you see the  
mid-terraced shoe box 
he uses as a week-day home 
when he was doorstepped after resigning 
no wonder Tweedledee was slow to 
give up his  
Grace and Favour Home 
when he gave up being 
Foreign Secretary 
such an opportunity the Germans gave us in the 
Second World War 
ask the historians what 
Teessiders did with 
Cannon Street in Middlesbrough 
Industrial Estate 
replaces 
Slum Housing 
Mean Streets 
and now the grandchildren of the denizens of those  
mean streets 
squabble about  
where to put the three cars that belong to  
each detached villa 
SOMEWHERE ELSE  
  
watching the BBC is like watching a 
Natural History series 
watch the little weasels squirm 
there was a thing called 
BBC Sport 
it was told to move to  
Salford, a part of Manchester 
and it did 
BUT 
then they invented the 
Sports Business Department 
and even though most of the sport business stories involve 
Liverpool, Everton, Manchester United, Manchester City 
the BBC Sports Business department is 
in London 
 
  
a SpAd is a  
Special Advisor 
a SPAD 
is a  
Signal Passed At Danger 
 
  
we do try to keep 
an ear to the ground 
and here we are considering the suggestion that 
Teesside has a very high proportion of 
children in local authority care 
we do not excuse any authority figure who stands between 
any little girl and a thorough understanding of her 
reproductive biology 
that aside 
because we don't think that is more of a problem on Teesside than 
elsewhere 
there appear to be two main reasons for a mum 
giving up their child for adoption 
again 
discounting those children removed from their parents for their 
own - child - safety 
in the context of  
child benefit 
at an early stage 
that is pre-pregnancy 
young women may in the spirit of 
the parallel 
Future Homemakers of America 
a genuine strand in the US education system within living memory 
be under pressure to 
give us the grand bairns 
never mind who the father is 
this strand is all about 
the cash and social housing that comes from being a mother 
the other strand is 
I really really really fancy that guy and 
those other girls have sex with him 
but if I can make him a baby... 
I'll have one over on them 
and a third strand is 
children born with severe handicap - disability 
children come up for adoption when 
let's take a specific example 
is it a Bowie quote 
took him minutes 
took her nowhere 
heaven knows she'd a taken anything 
little lassie gets laid down on the floor by the  
lad she is besotted with 
and he shoves a baby up her 
and all goes well for a while 
but then 
he moves back to Scarborough 
his sister doesn't like her 
and she kicks the girlfriend and the baby out 
so the baby goes up for adoption 
since it has filed to secure  
the desired long term relationship 
for the mum 
and in all of this we are trying to say 
the causes of instability in the lives of children 
cannot all be put down to 
maw monay 
 
 
  
Some confusion has been reported around 
bank overdraft charges 
whatever the motivations of the various parties 
what is happening is that 
bank - major High Street bank - debit cards 
are being converted into 
credit cards 
customers - especially the vulnerable 
will need to check as to whether 
suddenly their debit card 
allows them to have access to 
debt 
at credit card levels of interest 
Sometimes we have a little difficulty 
deciding whether a story is an 
urban myth 
in all his long life our Ricker has never quite 'got' 
the point of 
decaff coffee 
if you don't want coffee why are you drinking it? 
is it just a carrier for 
an excuse for drinking milk, cream and sugar? 
we are getting to a point here 
perhaps decaff coffee has some sort of 
TASTE 
a little different from  
hot milk 
with his dental background... 
Ricker is a bit put off 
a number of soft drinks that say they contain 
phosphoric acid 
Coca Cola 
is one of those 
and we are not about to try to find out whether 
Pepsi Cola 
contains phosphoric acid 
we have a solid fact about Coca Cola 
in the 19th century 
Coca Cola was called COCA Cola because 
it contained extract of  
coca leaves 
and then in the early years of the 20th century 
they had to do a kind of fix 
they had to put an extract of coca leaves in Coca Cola 
so that they could continue to call it Coca Cola 
but they had to remove the cocaine 
so at that time 
and here is the uncertainty 
perhaps to this day 
Coca Cola is the Cola equivalent of 
decaff coffee 
so if billions of people really really like 
the taste of coca leaves 
does that pre-dispose them to 
like cocaine? 
like it, if presented with it 
rather than 
seek it out 
in the first place 
it does not seem any more fanciful than 
the idea that marihuana 
causes psychosis 
rather than psychotics liking hash 
12th February 2020   
here is a question 
why to Kier Hardy 
MP for Euston and Kings Cross 
Starmer 
whatever 
agin HS2?
nostalgia 
after all the half of his constituency that was 
listed to be demolished to make way for it 
has already been demolished 
we think that it's more about those people we own 
batches of 
gold plated shoe boxes in London 
and are afraid that people will 
weigh up the cost of a 
Birmingham to London season ticket 
against the rent on a converted 
shoe cupboard in London 
it looks very 
I'm up 
pull the ladder up 
and people who own a hobby farm in 
Worcestershire, Herefordshire, Gloucestershire 
are not so much bothered about 
having to play a bit of swapsied with their neighbours 
to make sure all of their  
Polo Paddocks 
are on the same side of the railway 
but the threat to their 
Buy to Lets 
in the capital 
 
 
  
the stated aim of 
Universal Credit 
is to 
make work pay 
Arbite Macks Frie 
get a job and the state will leave you in peace 
at the same time the likes of 
the living wage 
and 
mandatory works pension enrolment 
mean that employers can't afford to pay many people 
much more than the living wage 
some commentators 
say 
nobody should have an income 
less than two thirds of 
the middle wage between the living wage 
and the maximum wage they pay to anybody they employ 
many people have heard of the concept of 
the manager in charge of paper clips 
the Japanese Window Men - employed to sit at a desk and 
stare out of a window all day 
and the men who for a hundred years 
signed on at the steel works instead of 
The Labour Exchange 
this erodes the differential between 
those who 
work for a living 
and those who keep under the RADAR 
by turning up at a social club and drawing their 
Dole with Dignity wages, and pensions 
and then comes the potential for conflict 
the dole with dignity employee 
goes down the shops or the pub 
and starts splashing the cash at 
the bar staff and shop staff 
and trades persons attending their home 
and creating a stink 
threatening the worker because 
they are not working well enough 
or showing enough 
respect 
to their customer 
this means  
make work pay 
gets replaced with 
make having a job pay 
 
 
  
when a really important - rich, famous - customer 
or a valued regular customer 
arrives at a restaurant 
they may - if it is not a very high end establishment 
we divert here to do a Mark Jordan story 
Mark Jordan was the son of a local 
secondary school head teacher 
and Ricker wasn't his best friend 
mark was one of those people who over the years had been 
instructed to make sure Ricker wasn't feeling 
left out 
anyway 
for a while Mark was married to a 
South East Asian wife 
but before that he was an 
oil company geologist 
and on an occasion Ricker  
put him up in his dorm room at City University in central London 
this guy was going to marry a South East Asian wife 
and so Ricker took him to a Chinese restaurant for a meal 
and Mark ordered 
chips 
despite them not being on the menu 
anyway 
if you order something that is not on the menu 
you will disrupt the work flow in the kitchen 
now we switch to the streets of England
around half a century ago 
back then nobody had heard of a 
pooper scooper 
Ricker's Aunties - thirty years ago - lived on a posh estate of 
retirement bungalows 
in Scarborough 
and they referred to their road as 
dog shit alley 
on top of that 
fifty years ago 
the streets were home to  
quite a number of 
feral dogs 
who were not as discrete as today's 
urban foxes 
in those days a sickly dog was often described as  
suffering from 
distemper 
here's the thing 
quite a lot of the canine deposits to be seen around were 
white 
lacking in colour 
these dogs 
including the ones sharing a home with humans 
were riddled with infections 
now we have to bring in another strand of this story 
regarding people and shall we say 
four legged friends 
the cellular elements of our and their blood 
are generated in the 
bone marrow 
birds have such light bones Lord knows where they do this 
perhaps a liver style organ 
when a mammal 
is confronted with an infection 
they will have that infection kill a lot of their 
white blood cells 
to keep up the fight 
we, they 
have to replace those white cells and we  
put in industrial sized purchase orders for the replacements 
to our bone marrow 
and, well, orders for new  
oxygen carrying red blood corpuscles get 
back ordered 
and 
the destruction of the dead white blood cells 
does not add any colour to our excrement 
red blood corpuscles get battered around as they circulate 
unless you have 
sickle cell anaemia 
you RBCs will be 
hydrodynamic 
like aerodynamic for in a fluid 
like  
well most like  
clays as used in clay pigeon shooting 
a lot like 
Frisbees 
but broadly like a 
dinner plate 
despite that 
after around 80 days they are ready for  
recycling and they have 
haemoglobin in them 
and that's 
red 
and when you get rid of it 
it turns your stool, your number 2s 
the colour of 
Sunderland's 
Stadium of Shite 
but if you are not managing to build new 
RBCs 
your turds will get  
paler and paler 
and if you are in this state 
BEFORE 
you catch the influenza 
you gonna need to get on the oxygen 
to help out yer battered old 
Ford Escort 
RBCs 
and so 
after the First World War 
millions of people  
died from a version of the 'flu 
that these days 
people shrug off in a day or two 
not because the 'flu has MUTATED into a benign form 
but because they are generally a lot fitter than 
a population that has just gone through 
four years of  
Total War 
and now 
there are two groups of people - in China - who are 
dropping like flies from something 
Brits will hardly notice 
1 people with lings knackered by levels of air pollution 
that Brits haven't seen for 40 years 
2 people who's hearts can't circulate their knackered RBCs 
fast enough 
and another thing 
the immune system has two divisions 
you could say 
one lot poison the pathogen 
and the other lot 
eat it 
'immunity' depends on the poisoners 
until we develop specific poisoners 
that we call  
developing immunity 
we depend on the swallowers 
search 
macrophage 
which are they ones that die of 
indigestion 
 
  
The essence of being 
closet gay  
is a pretence that you are not gay 
and people who were  
and some still are 
closet gay 
find interaction 
no matter how intimate 
a chore 
and so  
whether or not they are  
actively gay 
they seek to minimise the burden involved in 
simulating 
being straight 
and so they will do all they can to limit the scope of 
straight behaviour 
to make it easier for the disgusted to 
simulate 
once they are 
out gay 
they no longer give a hoot for  
what the straights do 
and so the more gays that are out 
the quieter the life for straights 
11th February 2020   
at this point we will introduce the concept of 
mitochondrial DNA 
in humans - and similar 
the egg is a cell 
the sperm is not a cell 
red blood corpuscles are 
blood cells that are so packed with 
oxygen carrying haemoglobin 
that there is no room for anything else 
and so they are corpuscles 
not cells 
they carry no DNA 
a sperm is the reverse 
a sperm is a packet of DNA 
a half set 
with  
an outboard motor 
nothing else 
this means that you get  
half your DNA from each parent 
BUT 
ALL of the gubbins 
in all of your cells 
COME FROM YOUR MOTHER 
and that includes your  
mitochondria 
in theory 
because that outboard motor is 
active and has components 
and they may include mitochondria 
we aren't researching that 
and so 
in genealogy - family history taking 
we say 
the DNA from the nucleus of your cells 
comes from both sides of your family - equally 
but your mitochondrial DNA is
the female line 
people have suggested that if you 
come out the way you went in 
you will be contaminated with 
mummy's little helpers 
on the way 
but if you come out by  
C section 
you miss out on gaining the hitch hikers 
and so to the squirrels 
if 
red squirrel babies have  
squirrel pox virus particles 
as part of their initial  
gang of hitch hikers 
they will, as is the nature of the thing 
 regard squirrel pox virus 
in the same way - not exactly 
as  
mummy's hitch hiker mitochondria 
and 
this  
scraping the barrel of Ricker's memory here 
he thinks that 
poisonous toads are an example of 
a type of species that 
don't produce the toxin themselves 
but deliberately implant something 
a fungus or bacterium or something 
into their skin 
so that their skin is toxic but they 
 don't mess with their own skin so they are not 
poisoned 
but anything that bites them 
is 
when you load up yer  
poison arrow 
with 
curare 
you wipe the arrow on the toad's skin 
you don't 
spatter it with  
blood of toad 
and so 
if we take on board a virus 
we keep it safe 
and if a predator takes a bite 
they get sick 
and leave us alone in future 
BUT 
if we get stressed 
winter chills, bereavement, Sunderland scoring 
another bloody goal 
we loose control of our 
ferocious beasts 
our mercenaries 
launch a coup attempt 
and they turn on us 
and we get the snuffles 
or in the case of 
Norovirus 
something we would wish on our enemies 
  
we are very pleased that 
Philip Schofield has 
come out 
he's rescued himself from the 
Tory Bliar Trap 
what we hope is that future generations of 
gay men will not be saying 
as so many of these closet gays have in the 
not so distant past 
in effect 
if there weren't no paedos 
nobody would be gay 
 
we have a couple of gratuitous comments to make about the 
don't see too well 
celebrity skater 
people make considered decisions 
they weigh things up and come to a conclusion 
many many moons ago the experts debated 
should it be 
visually impaired 
or  
vision impaired 
and we decided on 
vision impaired 
and a couple of 
fuck wit ice skaters 
decide on 
partially sighted 
you just give up 
we are supposing that the  
runner who is tethered to a guide 
may have 
ret pig 
she may not 
retinitis pigmentosa 
can be treated by 
injecting 
stem cells into the retina 
or gene therapy 
via virus transfer 
it may not work 
but it's worth a try 
and we love 
Christine and Jane Torville really  
 
  
and a little side line on  
infection control 
our Ricker worked for a while on 
Kensington High Street, London 
opposite the 
Inn on the Park 
one day this patient came in wearing 
very dark dark glasses 
when she took them off 
the whites of her eyes were 
black 
she was elderly in the 1980s 
at some point she had decided to 
or been advised to 
as we say 
instil 
silver nitrate solution 
eye drops into her eyes 
given she may have been born 
as long as 120 years ago 
she may have had an eye infection 
before there were any of  
vaccines, antibiotics, antivirals 
if she was very rich 
a befit toddling around 
Kensington High Street 
silver nitrate eye drops may have been her only option 
to save her sight at the time... 
wearing silver 
and perhaps copper 
but especially silver 
especially as rings on fingers 
is a simple, safe, semi-permanent 
safeguard against infection 
certainly indicated for anybody with 
a compromised immune system 
three things about this 
gold does not count 
this puts silver 
nose and lip rings 
on the table 
do people with 
mercury amalgam tooth fillings  
suffer less respiratory infections 
and following on from that 
do people who have amalgam fillings removed 
and replaced with dentures 
see a spike or general increase in  
respiratory infections 
10th February 2020   
This should be 
a new blog 
we hope that the original  
very very very long 
file is still available 
 
people in the UK get their 
science 
from the movies 
and in respect of the widest collective of people 
who have seen the same 
science influencing movie 
lots of people have seen 
Horton hears a Hoo 
there have been lots of derivatives of 
a Marvel Comics style story about 
people living in a universe contained within 
a gemstone - a diamond or such 
it feed into the idea of a  
fractal universe 
an idea that anything can be  
magnified or reduced 
at will and will function 
normally 
and so we have a concept of 
pictures of 
virus particles 
taken from electron microscope pictures, we assume 
and coloured in, rather as in Victorian Post Cards 
and the unspoken assumption that these are 
tiny, tiny little space ships 
with human like 
crew 
at this point we want to step away from this line of thought 
and consider 
squirrels 
but first 
we want to point out that 
everything of plant origin that imparts 
flavour  
to food 
is derived from chemicals produced by plants to 
protect them from being  
eaten 
and the squirrels? 
despite the fact that in the UK 
where there are now 
American grey squirrels 
it is WRONGLY assumed that there were previously 
British Red Squirrels 
there is this idea 
which may be true 
that just as herbs carry chemicals that 
try to kill green fly and 
make tomatoes taste interesting to humans 
red squirrels harbour a  
squirrel pox virus 
that does them no harm and 
kills grey squirrels 
people sometimes ask 
why are some animals in Australia so 
over the top venomous? 
it's because the venom is 'designed' to kill 
non-human prey that has a massive tolerance to 
the toxin in the venom 
nothing to do with people - at all 
people collateral damage in an 
arms race 
between 
the spider and the fly 
viruses are somewhere between 
toxic chemicals  
and 
bacteria and fungi 
for themselves 
they simply  
ARE 
just like 
strychnine  
simply 
IS 
they have no plans 
no command and control 
and they happen to 
at a very primitive level have 
a nature that is best seen as somehow a combination of 
a toxin such as lead or mercury 
and a enzyme such as 
insulin 
that would be wrong 
a virus is an elaborate for of enzyme 
not between but beyond 
there are examples of  
re-inventing the wheel 
in the evolution life on earth 
but they are rare 
and so - for instance - many many species will  
have, make use of, the same enzymes 
a bit like Windows and Apple computers  
using the same electricity 
and machine code conventions 
but different interfaces with the  
wetware 
and so a virus can be seen as a 
freelance enzyme 
and to that extent 
a mitochondrion 
is a structure within a class that includes viruses 
the term for this may be organelle 
we unconsciously put mitochondria to work for us 
we can consciously put viruses to world for us 
delivering gene therapy 
and perhaps sub-consciously  
like the story of the 
grey squirrels 'using' squirrel pox virus 
against red squirrels 
it is very strange to the 'expert' 
that people - philosophical vegans for instance 
see animals as  
sentient - having feelings hopes and aspiration 
don't attribute these to  
plants 
so we are free to eat them 
but do attribute them to 
viruses  
and so to 
foraging 
we all know that 
you have to be an expert to 
go 
gathering the mushrooms 
some people - particularly in the Uk 
half a century ago 
were quite keen in  
living dangerously in this sphere 
a vogue for eating 
magic mushrooms 
quite, but not always fatally, psycho-active, toxic 
and so to the latest  
toxic wild foods problem in China 
the trendy leftist will have immediately assumed 
people in China choosing toxic foods  
out of desperation in the face of 
grinding poverty 
it now appears that the problem stems from a 
trade similar to ivory 
in 
pangolin scales 
something consumed because it is 
rare, endangered, and EXPENSIVE 
not 
scavenged from a rubbish tip 
and we return to the concept of 
people who are too 
dumb 
to get into 
conventional, science based, medical school training 
settling for qualifications in  
traditional medicine 
like our own 
Charlie Boy 
and his 
homeopathy 
speaking of  
Prince Charles 
he must be very gratified to know that 
institutions such as 
The 'University' of Sunderland 
and now creating 
Bare Foot Doctors 
to provide health care 
outside the  
M25 
the M25 is the motorway ring road around  
Greater London 
there are a couple of useful comments on the above 
it may help to counteract 
anthropomorphisation 
regarding a people 
of viruses 
if we adopt the early terminology 
virus particle 
and secondly 
humans  
adapt to viruses that are new to them 
this is sometimes described as 
developing immunity 
we have the concept that 
red squirrels are susceptible to 
squirrel pox 
but what research has been done on the question 
can red squirrels develop immunity to squirrel pox 
is there something fundamental that is preventing that 
or are greys just taking advantage whilst 
the reds are feeling a bit 
snuffley 
and would we have 
a winter this year 
and would we have winter snuffles 
if the media 
still had  
BrExit 
? 
  
 
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